Football MARCHes on ('cause it's March)

[Pen]

Banned for the rest of the year and needing to cough up forty million dongs and hospital fees seems rather harsh for probably a semi professional footballer.

It’s a horrible tackle, but the punishment is a bit off.

[Pen]

I’m also childish enough to laugh at dongs as a currency every time.

[Ian]

I was about to post that your choice of phrase "coughing up forty million dongs" amused me more than it should have.

[Kikó]

30 million dongs seems more reasonable.

[phonics]

Would explain why he needs 8 months of free time too.

[Lofty]

https://i.ibb.co/b3hbrBb/FB-IMG-1616613582476.jpg

Big if true.

[Kikó]

Argue small and becoming smaller.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

:D

dots.

[Baz]

If true? :harold:

[Manc]

0 dong.

[phonics]

I know but even the players haven’t been told. Definitely true.

[Shindig]

But what of the lucrative Columbian shirts market?

[Don]

https://amp.theguardian.com/football/2021/mar/25/jamaica-turn-to-england-raised-talent-in-glory-hunt-world-cup

Antonio-Gray frontline with Gray in behind and the rest a Championship select side :drool: they should molest that US side which has paid off every top club in Europe to home one of their MLB prospects.

[Don]

Curtis Jones who should be starting for England benched for England U21 :happycry: Eze has some competition at least but that's more idiocy too.

[SincereTheRebel]

I would have thought the white half of him would have filled the quota. The black part of Curtis needs to punch up the under 21s manager.

[Ian]

Losing 1-0 to Switzerland. Nice to know England's next generation is ready. :drool:

[Don]

Mad to think you could rely on CHO to be your sole attacking plan and proceed to lose to this complete set of nobodies.

[Ian]

I can see why Boothroyd was kept on following the glorious one point accrued in the 2019 group stages.

[Don]

Do they think the U21 manager who sees the players less than their local brasshouse is meant to coach and develop their technical ability or something? This should be the single most result orientated gig going as they look to build a winning mentality into them and yet he's still rotting there with his no-neck paedo looks, inviting Nketiah to come stay round his cottage and sleep in his bed.

[igor_balis]

what the fuck is this shit

[Manc]

Lovely to see Don on the big stage.

[Shindig]

Blue does not suit these lads.

[igor_balis]

Lovely to see Don on the big stage.

doing a nationwide advert

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

"It's coming home..."

[Manc]

Bring back Clive. Sam Matterface sounds like a greasy cunt.

[Shindig]

He's got his goal but I wish he wouldn't always go direct and to the byline. Learn to cross, lad.

[Don]

Lads, you gotta add some colour to Don-related references here, even I draw a line at watching this shit.

[Manc]

DCL, Sterling & Lingard is a front three I never want to see again. Ever.

[Shindig]

They look desperate.

[Kikó]

Scotland's equaliser was very tidy. Bicycle kick.

[Ian]

I discovered earlier that Ian Wright was once in a film.


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TOPxvK8gGfU

What was he playing at being in that?

[Jimmy Floyd]

According to the DVD blurb, the independent British film is a ‘fun fantasy adventure that centres on a ruthless megalomaniac’s ambition’.

Maybe he wanted to re-live the Bruce Rioch era at Arsenal.

[phonics]

He’s been pretty open that the agent he had after retiring was a shyster trying to make him do any old shit.

[Ian]

"A man told me to" really isn't justification enough for agreeing to appear in such an obvious turd.

[Shindig]

He was still playing when he started his singing career.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Bottom Ireland on the verge of losing to Luxembourg :harold:

[thommo]

1375925709726748674

Incredible effort from the defender, even though it does look over. Fantastic to see Ronaldo losing his mind though.

[Baz]

Was it in?

[Waffdon]

Yeah, not quite Roy Carroll but clearly in.

[Mellberg]

I know Ireland are complete and utter tripe, but where's the lolling?

[Disco]

Conclusive evidence that none of us give a shit about Ireland and Giggles is nowhere to be found.

[Shindig]

And Giggles has never sounded thrilled about the national team.

[Kikó]

Someone summarised it pretty well yesterday, a goalkeeper playing for Rochdale beaten by a goal from a Dinamo Kiev forward. Ireland have completely dropped off.

[Don]

England :happycry:

[Manc]

Magical timing yet again.

[Don]

No idea what an O'Donnell is but that otherwise looks a strong Scotland side capable of fighting for Palestine's freedom.

[Manc]

Have people completely abandoned interntational football?

[Shindig]

I don't want to live in a world where Armenia comfortably beat Iceland.

[Waffdon]

No idea what an O'Donnell is but that otherwise looks a strong Scotland side capable of fighting for Palestine's freedom.

We just don’t have a decent right back. 2 unreal left backs and another teenager playing in Serie A, very annoying. The 5 at the back needs to go as does never consistently starting Stuart Armstrong

[niko_cee]

Have people completely abandoned interntational football?

Pointless qualifiers carry very little weight in the best of times.

[Shindig]

I never noticed how tiny Ryan Fraser is. But his head is massive.

[Pen]

We had two very good games with a squad hampered by some key injuries. Good to see we didn’t fall to pieces when missing a few players and both the performances and results were promising for the redt of the campaign.

Wouldn’t have thought it was possible to look forward to international breaks like this.

[Waffdon]

Aguero leaving City at end of the season. A bit injury prone but he’d do a job for most teams. Will probably sign for Barcelona and forever be injured

[Shindig]

Steve Bruce should be round there with a bucket of KFC and a fishing rod. And a Sports Direct mug.

[Manc]

This Aguero statue is a bit odd.

[Lewis]

Apart from Bernard Manning who else can they put up?

[John Arne]

https://gyazo.com/61406906607937a8b7d64a3f984a9559.jpeg

[Shindig]

Cut the pretence and just put a 100ft statue of Sheikh Monsoor up.

https://www.bbc.co.uk/sport/extra/hfe5e1289y/The-Impossible-Dream

Here's a dumb thing. James Coppinger's name is blanked out at points during this, as if they're trying to set up a grand reveal at the end. Even though it's full of pictures of James playing.

[Kikó]

This Aguero statue is a bit odd.

He's one of their greatest players, if not the greatest. It's not that strange.

[SvN]

I think it's the fact that he's still an active player that makes it odd.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Better statue candidates are available I think.

Aguero / Quinn

Height: short / tall
Goals: loads / some
Supplying creator: Kevin De Bruyne / Ian Brightwell
Famous relative: Maradona / none
Gypo status: confirmed / debatable
Ability to flick the long, straight ball on for a diminutive strike partner: minimal / TOTAL PROWESS
World Cup goals vs Holland: 0 / 1

Open and shut. Get the statue up.

[Ian]

Isn't there already an excellent statue of Niall Quinn on Madeira that can never be improved upon?

[Jimmy Floyd]

Yeah, building one of Quinn is probably their best chance of getting one that looks a bit like Aguero.

[Waffdon]

Lewis your man Claude passed away. He looked like he was a walking heart attack for the last few years.

Suicide by sounds of it. Christ.

[Ian]

Only two days ago, Callegari tweeted in response to a critic of his media work: 'No one is forcing you to watch it.

'Don't worry I will disappear soon to see my mother then you can all be happy.'

:|

[Manc]

https://youtu.be/8Z3zMkGqcNE

[Jimmy Floyd]

He always looked terribly ill. Top, top ethics from Robbie to exploit him for ages and then chuck him under the bus for saying 'DVD'.

[John Arne]

Close one, this.

https://gyazo.com/cc3e24986459372e8ce309e4eb302cbb.jpeg

[Lewis]

He always looked terribly ill. Top, top ethics from Robbie to exploit him for ages and then chuck him under the bus for saying 'DVD'.

Also making it a cautionary mental health tale when the thing depends on negativity. Poor old Claude. He should get a minute silence this weekend.

[Shindig]

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-hampshire-56565683

Stick a city kit on her and call it done.

[Ian]

Aguero's probably not that much taller than her to be fair, it could work.

[Lewis]

Don't the people who do these sort of things have any cringe reflex at all? It's like when Hull gave a degree to Pierluigi Collina and the shameless freak came and accepted it.

[Ian]

https://www.bbc.co.uk/sport/football/56583091

That's the spirit, Aidy.

[niko_cee]

He's right though. We make no effort to pick the strongest possible team. Presumably Alexander-Arnold would still be eligible for that, and he's not even in the senior squad. Maybe it's the right way, it's certainly the way to turn your young players into Billy Big Bollockses before they are even 20. Other countries, like Spain and France, seem to pick players until the absolute limit of the eligibility, and often the strongest possible squads, and what does it get them at full international level?

[Ian]

It's impossible if you're expecting to be close to winning every time, sure. But then outside Spain and Germany nobody does that, nobody's even really getting to the semis that consistently, it's pretty fluid as you might expect.

I don't think it's impossible to not be abject and aim for more than one point out of the five group games he's overseen so far. From the game and a bit I've seen of this so far the nearest comparison I can think of to a team having so little idea what to do with the ball beyond "hoping a talented player comes up with something) is watching United this season.

EDIT:
Also:
https://www.bbc.co.uk/sport/football/56586894

All well and good from a fella who doesn't actually have to watch us because he's in the team.

[Shindig]

If he's on the pitch, he should be watching.

[Don]

Aidy looks like he may have fallen on a proper team selection through enforced changes and they may just do it.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Armenia are not fucking about in this campaign. Three wins from three, with Romania and Iceland both slain. Erdogan running scared.

[Manc]

Aidy looks like he may have fallen on a proper team selection through enforced changes and they may just do it.

Laughable that Jones isn't with the first team. Mammoth player.

[Waffdon]

Lol wot

[Gray Fox]

Igor Biscan donning the English. You love to see it.

[Manc]

Sterling is never quite going to do it is he?

[Spikey M]

Stones. :drool:

[Ian]

Thank Christ we have two central defensive midfielders in front of a back four. Loads of cover so any old dickhead doesn't have massive gaps to just stumble into.

[Spikey M]

Clear to see why we're favourites this summer. :cab:

[Lewis]

People saying John Stones is good is a form of emotional abuse.

[Jimmy Floyd]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v6mMP5Gm_To

[Yevrah]

There is no worse noise in the world than that.

[Lewis]

Look at them all patronising him. The first decent side we come across will annihilate these betas.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Is there a decent side to come across?

[Yevrah]

Anyone of any historical standing and Portugal, will see to us.

[-james-]

What has historical standing got to do with a football match?

[Lewis]

The xBOTTLE JOB factor.

[Manc]

It's Belgium or bust.

[-james-]

It's coming home. Drink it in.

[Yevrah]

What has historical standing got to do with a football match?

I'm not going over this again, it's monumentally tedious.

[Gray Fox]

That Timo Werner miss is special. The Chelsea surgeon has it down to an art form now.

[-james-]

Are Germany a side of historical standing? They look in great nick.

[Lewis]

Mahow must be absolutely reeling.

[Yevrah]

Are Germany a side of historical standing? They look in great nick.

'We' say this every single time, yet there is absolutely no chance we would knock Germany out of an international tournament.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Mahow must be absolutely reeling.

I didn't watch it so I feel great.

[Manc]

Yev being donned out of existence. Go drown in the tub.

[-james-]

'We' say this every single time, yet there is absolutely no chance we would knock Germany out of an international tournament.

What do South Korea 2018 have that England 2021 do not?

There is no higher power involved in these things, it's just a game of football.

[Waffdon]

What do South Korea 2018 have that England 2021 do not?

There is no higher power involved in these things, it's just a game of football.

False.

[Lewis]

People who think the NARRATIVE isn't beholden to the NARRATIVE know nothing about the NARRATIVE.

[Yevrah]

What do South Korea 2018 have that England 2021 do not?

There is no higher power involved in these things, it's just a game of football.

Why do we never beat anyone good then? Why did we spunk the best chance anyone could ever wish to have to get to a World Cup Final? Why do you think we're good enough to win something? Where is the evidence?

You can say Korea beat Germany, Leicester won the league and Peter Sutcliffe died of COVID, but how is any of that relevant to England rising above being an average to good side for the first time in over 50 years? Which is the only time let me remind you. Maybe it's less to do with historical performance having an impact and more to do with us continually overrating our players and set up, but whatever it is, we're doing it again.

[Lewis]

France aside, since they could put two teams out better than us, we have as good a team as anyone on paper, but we've got a shit coach and a loser mentality so any half-decent side with a plan and some nerve will rattle us.

[Mellberg]

No celebrating when it eventually happens please, Yev.

[phonics]

I was looking at Haalands stats and noticed something so I thought I'd google it.

https://i.imgur.com/38omvNv.png

Me and the lads :cool:

[Ian]

I'd totally forgotten that Germany finished bottom of their group last time. :drool:

[Waffdon]

If you had a decent centre half and a better midfield I’d be more confident about England winning. Alas, they don’t and their manager is useless

[Yevrah]

I'd love us to win something, it's the only thing I've really got left to see in football, but the optimism I once had finally died in 2010 and it's going to take more than rattling through a few qualifying groups full of goat herders to get that back. Much more.

[-james-]

Why do we never beat anyone good then? Why did we spunk the best chance anyone could ever wish to have to get to a World Cup Final? Why do you think we're good enough to win something? Where is the evidence?

You can say Korea beat Germany, Leicester won the league and Peter Sutcliffe died of COVID, but how is any of that relevant to England rising above being an average to good side for the first time in over 50 years? Which is the only time let me remind you. Maybe it's less to do with historical performance having an impact and more to do with us continually overrating our players and set up, but whatever it is, we're doing it again.

There is no reason to take any England results from before 2018 into account when evaluating their chances of doing well this summer. It's like saying United won't beat City because they've only won 3 of the last 18 games stretching back to 2010 or whatever.

What England have is attacking talent to rival any squad in Europe and a back line that concedes very few goals. Maybe we overrate them but they play at a reasonably high level for their clubs so that's all you can really use.

[-james-]

I'd totally forgotten that Germany finished bottom of their group last time. :drool:

The last five minutes of that game are about as good as football gets.


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OKjV2SQfKrw

[Lewis]

That 'back line that concedes very few goals' sounds like the statistical equivalent of when we used to ride high in the rankings by only ever really losing the games that actually mattered.

[Yevrah]

What England have is attacking talent to rival any squad in Europe and a back line that concedes very few goals. Maybe we overrate them but they play at a reasonably high level for their clubs so that's all you can really use.

Individually we may do, but what good does that do? Assuming players will play as well for their national team as they do for their clubs is dumb in the extreme. That's one thing you can definitely look at from history and conclude it's wrong to do so. And we might concede very few goals, but we play a lot of shit and always seem to be a complete bomb scare waiting to happen at the back.

[Waffdon]

There is no reason to take any England results from before 2018 into account when evaluating their chances of doing well this summer. It's like saying United won't beat City because they've only won 3 of the last 18 games stretching back to 2010 or whatever.

What England have is attacking talent to rival any squad in Europe and a back line that concedes very few goals. Maybe we overrate them but they play at a reasonably high level for their clubs so that's all you can really use.

Do you trust Southgate to play the best team though? He’ll go with Sterling-Kane-Rashford and other than Kane, they other two aren’t rivalling shit

[Jimmy Floyd]

I reckon all our major team sports generally underperform their capability under tournament pressure. Think as a nation we are too rooted in orthodoxy (in all sports) and it costs us the ability to think on our feet or pull something together on the fly.

The rugby and cricket winning teams both looked like they were going to win for years beforehand, because they got THE PROCESS right, both got the right set of good players together, and then both just barely scraped over the line vs plucky antipodeans when it came to it. We'll never shock anyone in a tournament, the way we think about sport in this country. When we eventually win a football tournament - and we will - we'll know it's coming. And it ain't coming in 2021.

[-james-]

How many games that matter have England played under Southgate? Three? It's just such a tiny sample. And apart from the second half against Croatia it's not a bad record.

Southgate putting out the reserves in the final group game against Belgium is probably the finest piece of international management this decade as well.

[Mellberg]

It might happen, it might not. They're alright.

Don't forget they're missing Grealish, Rashford, Saka, Barnes, Maddison, Pickford (lol), Henderson, Gomez and Ings. That's likely 3, maybe four/five starters in Pickford, Gomez, Henderson and maybe Grealish/Rashford.

I get they're still English lololol, but that squad this week was light on quality and there's room for improvement.

John McGinn btw :cool:

[Jimmy Floyd]

This lot are promising in some respects but they've not got 'it'. They're a big defensive leader and a Kane-like champion in midfield away. Grealish is the man but he's too much of an individual for us to deal with. Mason Mount... I dunno. Love him, but he needs an edge. Foden is the one, I think, but they seem to have deemed it too early for him.

Kane himself also has to stay fit. Not just available, but fit. If everything happens perfectly we could be contenders in 2022. More likely Euro 2024.

[-james-]

I think people forget that there are no good international teams out there. Not really any good managers either. It's just a crapshoot. England talent pool is pretty diverse in terms of what they can field and have as good a chance as anyone. They are unlikely to win it, but I think 5/1 is about right.

[Yevrah]

How many games that matter have England played under Southgate? Three? It's just such a tiny sample. And apart from the second half against Croatia it's not a bad record.

Southgate putting out the reserves in the final group game against Belgium is probably the finest piece of international management this decade as well.

You don't play many games under anyone that matter, that's the nature of international football. And you can't say we've played three that did and then discard 75 minutes of the most important one.

[Yevrah]

The rugby and cricket winning teams both looked like they were going to win for years beforehand, because they got THE PROCESS right, both got the right set of good players together, and then both just barely scraped over the line vs plucky antipodeans when it came to it. We'll never shock anyone in a tournament, the way we think about sport in this country. When we eventually win a football tournament - and we will - we'll know it's coming. And it ain't coming in 2021.

This is the key for me. I just don't see it coming relatively out of the blue. We'll need the best players or close enough to, a very good manager and approach and it'll be clear from games we're playing that we're on the right trajectory.

[Mellberg]

Pope
Alexander-Arnold/James/Walker/Tripper/about10others
Gomez
Maguire
Chilwell
Henderson
Mount/Rice
Sterling/Rashford
Grealish
Foden
Kane

That can win a tournament imo. Has enough. Not as good as France or Belgium though and obviously have to deal with being WEAK ENGLISH BASTARDS.

[-james-]

You don't play many games under anyone that matter, that's the nature of international football. And you can't say we've played three that did and then discard 75 minutes of the most important one.

My point is that you can't discern anything from three games between teams of approximately equal strength. There's nothing special about England or international football. You're just seeing patterns where there aren't any.

[Yevrah]

I think people forget that there are no good international teams out there. Not really any good managers either. It's just a crapshoot. England talent pool is pretty diverse in terms of what they can field and have as good a chance as anyone. They are unlikely to win it, but I think 5/1 is about right.

If there are no good international teams out there, not really any good managers, we have a diverse talent pool and as good a chance as anyone, what happened in 2018? We beat Sweden and Colombia. Which was good in the case of the former and about bloody time in the case of the nature of the latter, but that was it.

[Don]

Grealish is the only one that can deliver glory. It looks like the maggot will go Sterling, Mount and Rashford though which is absolute lols.

[-james-]

If we're talking x factor, I highly doubt any side has a set piece setup as good as England's (Grealish to earn them, JWP to deliver, Maguire at the back post), and in a tournament that is going to be 95% terrible football I reckon that's worth a couple of goals.

[Mellberg]

Do agree on manager and approach and it not being an all conquering generation of superstars though. But then no one has that other than Belgium, who have missed their best chances. France have a good squad too, but fuck the French.

[Yevrah]

My point is that you can't discern anything from three games between teams of approximately equal strength.

Are we discerning it from one of the worst qualifying groups in all of human history instead?

[Lewis]

How can you not 'discern anything from three games between teams of approximately equal strength' when we feebly lost all three?

[-james-]

I was referring to Sweden, Colombia and Croatia. Nations League, eh, arsed.

Which team at Euro 2020 hasn't lost an important game in a feeble manner?

[Lewis]

I thought you meant the three defeats at the World Cup. Carry on.

[-james-]

The first Belgium loss was the correct result, and the other was a third place play off.

[phonics]

Absolutely seething that this actual football discussion has distracted from me and Marcelo Bielsa having the same birthday.

[Reg]

If we're talking x factor, I highly doubt any side has a set piece setup as good as England's (Grealish to earn them, JWP to deliver, Maguire at the back post), and in a tournament that is going to be 95% terrible football I reckon that's worth a couple of goals.
Steps 1 and 2 sound great, but it’d fall down on 3 with Maguire. He’s fantastic at winning headers and absolutely dire at directing them.

Him scoring tonight was quite a shock. I guess he should be allowed to use his feet but not his head in the opponent’s box.

I only saw the second half but thought we looked alright. Foden is class but not sure he gets the best from Kane when playing off the wing. Kane thrives with speed all around him so could understand Southgate going with Sterling and Rashford in the XI, even if they aren’t in the best form closer to the tournament.

Means missing out on Grealish, but Southgate doesn’t seem to like him anyway so not holding much hope in him getting more than a token kick.

[John Arne]

Who would have thought that a defender who consistently makes mistakes when under pressure, would make a mistake under pressure. Playing centreback for City should not be a gauge for how good a defender is - they generally have fuck all defending to do.