January 2021 football: The Window SLAMS OPEN

[Raoul Duke]

Torres turning into an absolute unit is such a weird one. Did he not train when he played?

[Don]

Lol, that image is a Tennis player called Shaun Stafford who looks like he was separated from Torres at birth. But yeah, Torres is a unit now.

[Don]

Torres turning into an absolute unit is such a weird one. Did he not train when he played?

His bigger physique now would be detrimental to his football, even if it was all natural gainz. It's not a bad way to spend retirement as a multi-millionaire even if you had to go to the gym every day as part of your job for the last 20 years.

[Kikó]

Gym and steroids, keeps you busy.

[SincereTheRebel]

I'll have to come back to you with the full list but it certainly goes back as far as Chris Sutton (1 goal in 40 or something daft) and maybe even Robert Fleck in the mid 90s.

Perhaps it's really the Curse of Casiraghi.

I want a full list from you by Friday.

[randomlegend]

Maybe if they were signing him permanently. But a 6 month loan that will stifle the growth of one of your most interesting players? I don't get that at all.

Willian is pretty shite but he can go as backup I feel. Or even Ceballos why not.

I'm sure Odegaard is a good talent but it makes no sense signing players from Spain to PL in on a short term basis in the first place, there's always a bit of an adaption to be made.

Well the rumours are he's completely fed up with Zidane and is open to leaving permanently in the summer if Zidane stays (which admittedly looks unlikely).

[Mazuuurk]

If there's an option to buy, then why not. Maybe they can pay with Pepe :henn0rz:

[Spoonsky]

Lol, that image is a Tennis player called Shaun Stafford who looks like he was separated from Torres at birth. But yeah, Torres is a unit now.

I was going to say, Fernando Torres hasn't had that haircut since 2009.

Still pretty mahoosive though.

https://i.dailymail.co.uk/1s/2021/01/20/09/38239482-9166937-image-a-16_1611133503415.jpg

[Don]

Watching Bruce's incompetence come to light in the face of a thinking man with shitter tools :drool:

Why have they brought their shitty Bielsa stool with them if they were gonna leave it in the dugout? It's cushioned and about the same height as the dugout seats.

[niko_cee]

So that City goal against Villa is now offside. Fair enough, but that whole lol area of the offside rule probably needs a more thorough going over.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Once you have the TV cameras out splitting pubic hairs, the offside rule is not a viable concept unless you revert to the old-fashioned way where you just can't be offside ever. Video review and subjective decisions about 'phases of play' do not mix.

[Spoonsky]

I don't see how the game would be hurt by reverting to the old way. It would mean that teams like Liverpool couldn't play those insane offside traps; but other than that, it would just lead to more attacking play, right? As far as I can tell the law was originally designed to prevent people from absurd goal-hanging, not to rule out a 91st-minute winner because the flappy bit of skin on Sadio Mane's elbow had nudged just ahead of Seamus Coleman's unclipped toenails.

[Shindig]

Rafa in.

[niko_cee]

What is 'the old way' with the offside rule? Because, for me, the old way was a very anti-attacking thing. Is there some other way from the early days of football that pre-dates the 1980s model?

[Spoonsky]

Just giving the benefit of doubt in the run of play to the attacker, I'd think.

It would be interesting to see the actual stats on the number of goals ruled out for offsides before and after VAR, it definitely feels like it's increased but I could be wrong.

[Kikó]

We could just scrap var.

[SincereTheRebel]

I would prefer to encourage attacking play. If the length of a petr crouch can fit between the defender and attacker, it is onside.

[Jimmy Floyd]

1863: no forward passing allowed at all
1866: at least three players have to be between player and goal
1907: can't be offside in your own half
1925: at least two players have to be between player and goal
1990: level counts as onside
2005: arms/hands can't be offside
200something: 'interfering with play'

Essentially I think as tactics have become more and more defensive as time has gone on, the rule has been changed entirely in one direction (i.e. to result in fewer offsides and more goals) as an attempted counterbalance. However, because of the nature of it, the only simple change you could make in this direction post-1990 was to get rid of it, so they have ended up going for the ever decreasing circles route of becoming more and more subjective about when you can and can't be offside, with the result being the current mess (exacerbated by video review).

[Lewis]

Remember when Big Sam and Ruud van Nistelrooy independently realised that you could loiter offside whilst a set piece was being lined up and there was a big seethe about the 'spirit of the game'?

[Waffdon]

Davie Moyes bringing Champions League football to West Ham.

[Shindig]

Remember when Big Sam and Ruud van Nistelrooy independently realised that you could loiter offside whilst a set piece was being lined up and there was a big seethe about the 'spirit of the game'?

Crespo seemed good at tying his laces at opportune moments.

[Alex]

Glad we hung on for that, we needed it. That second half was a very dicey. Saint-Maximin looked a bit good, we were terrified whenever he was on the ball.

[Shindig]

Yeah, we looked brighter and it looks as if he's got over the covid. We need him to liven up our midfield.

[Don]

Fucking blistering scenes in the Coppa Italia Milan derby. Lukaku gets fouled just before HT and is riled up. Zlatan says something to him, Lukaku squares up, Zlatan does a small headbutt, then they proceed to swear at eachother incessantly for a solid minute. HT whistle blows, the two are separated at tunnel. Lukaku finishes with a "fuck you and your wife". Tune in to second half. It's bound to be pure PPV.

[SincereTheRebel]

This San Siro pitch is terrible.

[Waffdon]

Surprised if you get over 1/2 for City winning the league.

[SincereTheRebel]

Eriksen has came on and whipped in a free kick with 5 minites left. 2-1 Inter.

[niko_cee]

1863: no forward passing allowed at all
1866: at least three players have to be between player and goal
1907: can't be offside in your own half
1925: at least two players have to be between player and goal
1990: level counts as onside
2005: arms/hands can't be offside
200something: 'interfering with play'

Essentially I think as tactics have become more and more defensive as time has gone on, the rule has been changed entirely in one direction (i.e. to result in fewer offsides and more goals) as an attempted counterbalance. However, because of the nature of it, the only simple change you could make in this direction post-1990 was to get rid of it, so they have ended up going for the ever decreasing circles route of becoming more and more subjective about when you can and can't be offside, with the result being the current mess (exacerbated by video review).

'Interfering with play' was early 90s, and the definitive change away from the punitive methodology I was referring to. It was definitely a thing at the '94 world cup with Romario doing it to the Dutch was it?

[niko_cee]

Also, City badly missing a target man type here.

[Reg]

Eriksen has came on and whipped in a free kick with 5 minites left. 2-1 Inter.
Really nice free kick that. I'm always suspicious of a keeper who doesn't dive though. If every keeper bounced on their feet during the taker's run up, I bet they'd dive for every free kick. He saw it coming, just wasn't ready to move.

PS That's 7 goals in 8 league games for Gundogan now. He can't have had a run anywhere near that good.

[Don]

Knew they'd struggle without their talisman.

[Don]

Alex Scott is gonna be wearing nipple tassels soon to keep her gig.

[Baz]

Alex Scott is gonna be wearing nipple tassels soon to keep her gig.She’s dynamite tbf.

[Lewis]

1354169969735561222

Randrew

[Jimmy Floyd]

He's playing 'CHO' as a right wing back with a back three, this is going to be comedy capers.

[Waffdon]

Mount dropped straight away :D

If it is 3 at the back, I presume it’s to match Wolves. Gilmour must be away out on loan, since he’s not even on the bench. Anyone not in the top 6 should be after him

[phonics]

Did his knee didn't he?

[Waffdon]

Did during the previous lockdown but has been back for a while now.

[Don]

Soccerway has it as a very sensible 4-2-3-1. Giroud over Tammy and anyone over Mount suggests this guy knows his football and I'm willing to concede I may be wrong on CHO as a result. Tbf if someone breaks his unwillingness to take men on he'd be potent.

Supporting Chelsea more than Jimmy for the next few month :happycry:

[Waffdon]

I think it’s 3 at the back with Azpilicueta doing what he done under Conte and then Hudson Odoi out wide. Havertz and Zyiech playing off Giroud

[Reg]

Hudson-Odoi as a wingback is an interesting one. Would that just be because he's fast and right-footed? Worked for Victor Moses! James has been doing well though, hasn't he?

[Don]

Brav this geezer is not brainwashed by Brexit Britain's BLM Bonanza, he probably saw that rugby kicker in training in comparison to Azpi's experience/CHO's mobility and chucked him on the transfer list at 50% of his value like Mount and Tammy.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Mount is top notch ffs.

[Lewis]

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[Don]

2 mins in and tempo, high line and intent are all there. Chelsea for the CL.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Just seen Kai Havertz break into a sprint, so maybe Lampard was just shouting RUN MORE SLOWLY at all his training sessions.

[Baz]

Works for Southgate.

[Don]

Hoddle and Rio berating them for dominant possession stats without penetration 45 mins into his reign. Ancelotti telling me to donate plasma. What heady scenes.

[SincereTheRebel]

I havent seen much of this Chelsea goalkeeper but he does not see to have that bonkers African trait they usually have from the part of the world.

[Jimmy Floyd]

He has it. Once per game does something absolutely mental for no reason.

[Waffdon]

Chilwell looks like a younger and slightly quicker Marcos Alonso

[Jimmy Floyd]

This is so reminiscent of Sarri dross that if Ross Barkley comes on for Kovacic any minute now I won't be surprised.

[Waffdon]

This has wolves goal from a set piece written all over it

[Manc]

The stats are telling me Chelsea have had 80% possession. What the fuck are Wolves playing at?

[Jimmy Floyd]

Wolves always play like this, they're a negative spoiling team. Means you have to adjust before 75 minutes if you aren't in front.

[Waffdon]

Nothing, really. Tuchel playing two wingers at wing back rather than playing the best full back in England makes a lot of sense

[Jimmy Floyd]

Sir Henry bringing the truth bombs. Probably let Frank draft it for him.

1354518975456141318

[Waffdon]

Thought Havertz was alright. Was involved in most of the decent stuff. Should be played in the same area as Hudson Odoi

[Spammer]

THE MIGHTY BLADES are going to get annihilated.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

:lol:

That's how De Gea dealt with balls into the box when he first came.

[randomlegend]

Let in the early one to settle the nerves.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Had to google 'Kean Bryan'. It's a thin line 'tween heaven and here.

[Spammer]

THE MIGHTY BLADES :cool:

[Lewis]

How can one of those goals stand but not the other?

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Apparently the ref blew the whistle too early for ours so even if VAR would have looked at it they couldn't have given the goal.

Shambles.

[Don]

Utd fans complaining about referee decisions. Regression to the mean is a beautiful thing.

[Giggles]

Where are Stevens and Egan and why have Sheffield Utd fewer subs than Utd?

[Spammer]

Where are Stevens and Egan and why have Sheffield Utd fewer subs than Utd?

Egan is suspended and Stevens is injured.

We have so many players injured that we can't name a full bench unless we use kids. Personally I'd be inclined to name kids on the bench, gives em a run out, but dunno if that's even allowed with COVID bubbles and all.

[Don]

Sheff Utd's use of the ball is back to peak 2019/20 levels here. Glorious to watch.

[Spammer]

Yeah I think we've looked decent tonight.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Captain Slabhead :cool:

[Don]

Come on Burke, you white ebony fuck, do one thing of note in your dogshit career.

[Waffdon]

Olly Burke :D

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

ffs.

[Don]

Gahahahah. What the fuck is going on with Utd's press, it's like Sheff Utd are playing in a superior gamespeed setting :D One would almost think the manager is inept.

[Ian]

If only there had been some way to not leave that guy unmarked in acres of space for about 20 seconds in the penalty area.

[Shindig]

The blade escape

[Don]

Waff, talk with your contacts, I may be needing a strong repetoire of Burke gifs for 20 mins time.

[Spammer]

THE MIGHTY BLADES :cool:

[Ian]

Brewster's definitely getting one here.

Proper Football Manager "And that's his first ever goal for Sheffield United!" stuff.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

In need of a goal (well 2) and he's bringing on Shaw.

[Ian]

Christ, OGB must be desperate, he's bringing van de Beek on 12 minutes early.

[Waffdon]

Waff, talk with your contacts, I may be needing a strong repetoire of Burke gifs for 20 mins time.

He should score another on the break against a back two of Matic/Maguire. He’s one of the quickest players I’ve seen in real life - especially with that physique. Shame he’s a retard

[Waffdon]

Well, there was his chance. Decides to walk into Matic.

[randomlegend]

City will run away with the League now. Fun while it lasted.

[Lewis]

The title challenge was fun. Anthony Martial is shit.

[Spammer]

He should score another on the break against a back two of Matic/Maguire. He’s one of the quickest players I’ve seen in real life - especially with that physique. Shame he’s a retard

:lol:

Yeah that's the best summary of him I've seen.

[Spoonsky]

Everyone has their two weeks as TITLE CHALLENGER this season. Remains to be seen whether City's two weeks turns into four months.

[Don]

City will run away with the League now. Fun while it lasted.

Yeah, my affair with Emily Ratjowski was fun while it lasted too. Come, lets cry on each other's shoulders.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Moyesie's boysies are literally in the top four, this ain't over yet.

[Ian]

It's all well and good beating the shit in the cup but you've got to win those league games.

[Kikó]

It was shit tonight. Martial was absolute turd again.

[-james-]

I see Brighton won the xG again. :drool:

[Ian]

"West Ham could end their pursuit of a new striker in the transfer window if they can secure the loan signing of Manchester United's England winger Jesse Lingard, 28 - The Athletic"

What a headline that is from the gossip column. :drool:

[Jimmy Floyd]

I see Brighton won the xG again. :drool:

And Burnley lost it again, heavily.

[Mellberg]

We've took 1 point off Burnley having had nearly 50 shots over two games. Fucking shithouses :D

We're still a bit naive. Hopefully become more ruthless if we can keep the band together.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

1354776489443528704

Majestic, what a team.

[SincereTheRebel]

That is easily one of the funniest videos and captions ive ever watched

[Jimmy Floyd]

Has the account been hacked or something?

[Spoonsky]

:D

That has to be a peak for the role of social media in football.

[Ian]

The beautiful game.

[Jimmy Floyd]

You say it ironically, but the chief cleavage on Chelsea Twitter in the last two years has been between those who backed Lampard, and those (mainly overseas-based, as far as I can tell) who thought it was a mistake to leave behind the 'beautiful football' we allegedly played under Maurizio Sarri, quantified in things like pass totals and Jorginho completion stats.

I thought Sarri was one of the worst managers in our history but if you say that to a non-fan they just point at the third placed finish and the UEFA Cup win, so whatever, I don't know.

[Lewis]

And it ends by 'getting half a yard' for a shit cross into the mixer, so they might as well have just won the header off a goal kick.

[Don]

The man has barely had a chance to insert his Frankfurter in Mount's disgusting mouth. Judge his tactics in 6 months but don't start pretending Mr. Lampard had any fucking clue what he was doing.

[Jimmy Floyd]

I didn't say anything about Tremendous Tactics.

[Reg]

Love that Chelsea tweet. :D It must be written by someone employed for their social media skills and who never watches football unless they have to for work.


I see Brighton won the xG again. :drool:
We’re so good.

[Don]

This was the day I truly feared. Fabinho injured. Would have been such banter if Matip was out too.

[Luke Emia]

The lack of a centre half really does have the potential to see us end up without Champions League next year. Surely bringing forward recruitment 6 months or maybe buying someone who isn’t on the committees preferred list but can do a job for 6 months to see us through this is preferable to not finishing in the top 4.

[Jimmy Floyd]

If you finish 9th you get a higher draft pick next year.

[Baz]

Need to loan Caulker in again.

[Don]

The union of mixed race pretty boys has Jenas defending Trent like his mother's life depends on it.

[niko_cee]

How are Liverpool significantly more fancied with the bookies than Spurs in this one?

[Don]

Xg, mate.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Heung Min Son :drool:

He's so damn good.

Edit: Fuck VAR.

[Don]

Regression to the mean lads. It applies to dogshit VAR too.

[Danny]

Messi Lingard to West Ham appears to be a thing.

[Serj]

Thiago seems to overcommit when he's pressing high up the pitch. He has been getting bypassed too easily in almost every match that I've seen him so far. Maybe it's just a question of adapting to a particular style of play.

[Pleb]

Did VAR just fuck Mourinho in the arse again?

[SincereTheRebel]

Shocking defending from the Tottenham right-back, Dier and Lloris

[Don]

It's so quiet in here on certain games. Odd.

This Hendo at CB and Gini in deep is the template and short of a Chris Wood battering ram, it'll be fine, I just hope Hendo can stay fit (for his fucking tourettes if nothing else). Thiago has to stop his sensible soccer slides too. Aside from that, I'm running low on jizz.

[Luke Emia]

Matip looks like he could be dead again. Fuck me...

[Spoonsky]

No Matip ffs :(

Oh get in

[Pleb]

Title race back on?

[Manc]

Lots of players back on song for Liverpool. TAA, Mane, Milner, Firmino, but perhaps most important of all Wijnaldum. Klopp must have worked out having Thiago as the midfield pivot is suicidal.

[Spoonsky]

That was great. Felt back to normal, front three have come back to life.

[CJay]

Matip needs put down.

[niko_cee]

:D

If he was a racehorse it would have happened long ago.

[John Arne]

Fox Sports Australia interrupted a footy match to show some bloke staring into the distance, presumably asking himself why he's watching women's football.
And you thought BT was bad.

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[niko_cee]

Just catching up on the highlights of the Spurs game (lol), what was the deal with that Firmino 'handball' ruling out the Salah goal? I thought they changed that so it now has to be directly linked to the goal, and not miles back in the play? No?

[Bob Sacamano]

I think the Reading manager is a Don disciple with his BLM cohorts

[Don]

https://uk.soccerway.com/matches/2021/01/29/england/championship/reading-fc/afc-bournemouth/3345569/

Olise and Ejaria are the only 2 I'm familiar with but I've had a wank at the flags on the bench so cheers for the heads up.

[Bob Sacamano]

Lucas Joao is an absolute beast, Rinomhata and Laurent are decent too.

[phonics]

Mustafi to Liverpool?:drool:

[Don]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mpv3tomLEV0

Embarrassing that a top-tier elite prospect is so poor when it comes to flexibility. This is an area that football fitness (as well as general humanity) seems to yet understand and tap to unlock its potential rewards. Fucking throw-in coaches but leaving their players in this state. Brb, gonna contact Jurgen about becoming club stretch coach.

Edit: just watched the Haaland one, he's awful too. This is mad.

[Lewis]

We had a thread once about being able to touch your toes (obviously sit that one out lad) and Magic turned out to be a borderline cripple.

[niko_cee]

Joelinton haircut: Newcastle to take 'appropriate action' against forward (https://www.bbc.co.uk/sport/football/55865560)

I thought this was going to be a much more interesting story than a breach of covid rules. Disappoint.

[Reg]

Dreadful by Jude. I hear he's been good though and Dortmund have even been relying on him.

The Copa Libertadores final is tonight at 8pm UK time, on BBC iPlayer and red button. https://www.theguardian.com/football/2021/jan/29/santos-palmeiras-all-brazilian-final-copa-libertadores-rio-maracana

[Shindig]

Yeeeeeeeeeeeeeeah!

[Manc]

WBA are garbage.

[Lewis]

Why did Big Sam un-retire and hedge his reputation on this shit?

[Don]

Tim Vickery looks like COVID has got to him.

[Manc]

Gareth Barry is a perfect example of why the JJ's of this world shine in punditry. He's got the personality of a paper clip.

[Bob Sacamano]

Mbaye Diagne feels like a proper mid 2000's player

[randomlegend]

Liverpool u23s getting donned inside out by Diallo and Hugill.

[Don]

This City game is ideal conditions for Sheff Utd to knick something. They fucking gave away the cheapest shottest goal in the 9th minute and the potential is there for a nicely worked equaliser.

[Don]

:D

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His second was a panenka penalty. Generational. Baller.

[Don]

City taking it to the corner against Sheff Utd. Ah what a shit goal to giveaway to lose this.

[Mellberg]

Bye bye Baggies.

[niko_cee]

I saw some of that U23s game or whatever it was. An absolute bombscare across the board. Their 'keeper was doing Cruijjf turns and losing it on the bi-line, our defence was up to the above (and worse), there really isn't much hope for the next generation of footballers if this is the shit they're being taught on a regular basis. [/jumpersforgoalposts]

[niko_cee]

Meanwhile Real crashing and burning against Levante at home, with Militao having had himself sent off early doors (sure to further alienate him from the club, get in there Jurgen).

A.Madrid should absolutely piss it form here.

[Lofty]

Cedric getting a dogshit yellow early doors isn't a good sign.

[niko_cee]

Aye, United spend 15 minutes rolling around under the slightest contact and then Fernandes gets away with a fairly shocking challenge there. Plus ca change.

[Don]

15 mins in and I'll be fucked if I'm watching this shitfest. No Saka leaves that side useless and for the others, I'd rather just have a wank at xvideos if I want to see this many cunts.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

McTominay popping pills :eyemouth:

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Just take him off, he's clearly struggling ffs.

[phonics]

Do we think McTominay has the shits and is putting every single ounce of energy into not doing it on the pitch?

[Don]

I remember when I fell during a game of whatever the fuck on gravel and grazed my elbow and hip badly. I was headed inside in agony when my PE teacher made me stand in the winter sub-zero temperature, blood running down my limbs to explain to him why I was rushing inside.

[Lewis]

I remember when I fell during a game of whatever the fuck on gravel and grazed my elbow and hip badly. I was headed inside in agony when my PE teacher made me stand in the winter sub-zero temperature, blood running down my limbs to explain to him why I was rushing inside.

You could spin that into a sob story on the BBC website.

[phonics]

Fernandes getting into a fight with Xhaka and then raking his studs down Xhakas Achilles with no card means he’s definitely scoring the winner.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

If Martinelli isn't injured that's a mental decision to bring him off.

[niko_cee]

It's Martinelli, he's always injured.

There's something quite disconcerting about Bellerin's shorts.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

lol at Willian.

[niko_cee]

Yeah, after a good game against Fulham first up he's looking more and more like a classic Arsenal contract case. How many years left at £250k-a-week?

[phonics]

2 and a half. Absolutely awful. I’m not sure we’ve ever got a good deal off a rival.

[niko_cee]

I see Celtic lost today. Rangers can't actually be all that far off winning the league up there, although they do have that funny split thing, don't they?

[Jimmy Floyd]

They need 20 points from 12, assuming Celtic win the rest, so more or less done. Losing at home to St Mirren is good comedy value, although I see they are actually Scotland's 6th best side.

Motherwell are another of life's constants. Don't believe they have ever gone down in my lifetime, but also haven't done anything.

[Jimmy Floyd]

As for Willian, he is just a contract player. Always was. If he wants another one he'll put in an amazing six month stint at the end of this one. We knew this by the end which was why he utterly refused to sign a one year deal no matter how much we offered him - he just wants easy money. Arsenal were stupid enough to fall for it.

[phonics]

Stupid enough to fall for it or doing a favour to his agent for access to future deals. I think it’s the latter.

Like I don’t think Kia gets you 50 million quid each for shipping Oscar and Ramires off to China if you don’t take Pato on for a year as some sort of charity transfer.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Three year contract at those wages is a big old favour.

[phonics]

Three year contract at those wages is a big old favour.

Our previous director of football immediately resigned the week a lawyer looked at the Pepe deal and hasn’t been involved in football since. At this point I just assume 90% of transfers are massively corrupt.

[phonics]

I think I could stand about on the left, control the ball, turn back and pass 5 yards for only 180k a week.

[Jimmy Floyd]

I did think it a bit odd how Frank Lampard just summarily dismissed David Luiz from his sight as soon as he was appointed / the other way round, perhaps. Is there a published list anywhere of which players and managers are on whose books? Would make interesting reading.

[phonics]

It’s been reported why Luiz was dumped out. Apparently called him Frank instead of Boss/Gaffer. Lampard thought it undermined him.

[CJay]

This is so bad.

[CJay]

Why is Cedric taking free kicks? That’s Kane-on-corners levels of stupid.

[phonics]

David Luiz hasn’t scored one in 4 years and still gets to take them. I gave up questioning that stuff ages ago.

[SincereTheRebel]

Willian is getting bullied in these Arsenal free-kick taker decisions. My guess would be he has scored more career free kicks than all of Arsenal combined, yet on the edge of the box from the left. Cedric is blasting it over the bar.

[phonics]

Maybe Williams got a goal/assist bonus that would bankrupt us and he’s just trying to be a good club man.

[phonics]

David Luiz getting man of the match for ‘celebrating blocking a free kick’ might just be the best summary of the quality of this game.

The correct answer is Pepe or Wan-Bissaka.

[Lewis]

This has been wank. United's good players are knackered, and I would take Willian or any other cripple to play on the right.

[randomlegend]

Yeah that was gash. Get Diallo on the right wing.

[SincereTheRebel]

What happened to that Welsh Walcott they bought from Swansea?

[CJay]

Fernandes’ goal contributions in 2020 so far amount to a free kick and a penalty. :drool: Paging Don

[Danny]

And an assist against Fulham.

[CJay]

Ah, was going off FotMob app, I see that one is fantasy league official. Still.

[Don]

Are you suggesting Bruno has nothing to his game beside set-pieces and the odd goal contribution against goat herders? I won't have it.

On Rangers, Atletico might have La Liga wrapped up before they win the league :drool:

[niko_cee]

1 goal in 6 big games is that for United now? It's pitiful, but also great of the likes of Brighton, West Ham and Southampton to have effectively kept Ole in the job for the foreseeable by completely inexplicably losing their games against them.

[niko_cee]

How is that not a penalty for Southampton?

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

How is that not a penalty?

[Andy]

Good banter.

[Bob Sacamano]

South American football really loses its allure without fans.

Can see why they have to distract themselves with ticker tape and drums with each team taking a turn to roll around on the floor for 5 minutes

[Don]

As if being forced to spend my Saturday evening watching a Southampton - Villa training kickabout to save some obese fucks wasn't bad enough, they make penalty calls like that to rub in just how fucking shit this sport currently is.

[Luca]

I saw some of that U23s game or whatever it was. An absolute bombscare across the board. Their 'keeper was doing Cruijjf turns and losing it on the bi-line, our defence was up to the above (and worse), there really isn't much hope for the next generation of footballers if this is the shit they're being taught on a regular basis. [/jumpersforgoalposts]

“Luis Longstaff” is definitely an FM regen IRL. I’m not buying any other explanation.

[CJay]

South American football really loses its allure without fans.

Can see why they have to distract themselves with ticker tape and drums with each team taking a turn to roll around on the floor for 5 minutes

Scanning the lineups - the only player I recognise is 33 year old Luiz Adriano. Usually the best Brazilian sides have a couple of mavericks who’ve decided to spend their prime years in their home country. No wonder the standard is poor.

[Bob Sacamano]

Scanning the lineups - the only player I recognise is 33 year old Luiz Adriano. Usually the best Brazilian sides have a couple of mavericks who’ve decided to spend their prime years in their home country. No wonder the standard is poor.
If the league standing is anything to go by this is the equivalent of a West Ham/Villa Champions League final :drool:

Jorge Jesus absolutely donned the entire continent, if I was an average European coach I'd head over there to beat the piss out these binmen.

The absolute state of this;

1355619479598862341

[Shindig]

Tim Vickery's loving this. I hate you, Tim Vickery.

[niko_cee]

VAR is quite possibly the worst thing that has ever happened to football.

[Don]

What was that VAR about :D It never ceases to offend me.

[Andy]

Pathetic. Benefit of doubt should go to the attacking side in situations like that. Everyone wants more goals.

[niko_cee]

And obviously, if 'the sleeve' is now the hand ball line Sam Allardyce is, well, I was going to say having some singlets made up as we speak, but he'll just send them out in skins.

Wait a minute, that's the wrong way round isn't it? Long sleeves covering the hand all round!

[Mellberg]

About time we had one of them. I'll take it.

[Mellberg]

I think that's a goal FWIW. Thought the same of Watkins' at West Ham.

[niko_cee]

The handball was worse as at least the logic of the lines holds with the offside rule as it is, even though it's total shit.

[niko_cee]

Literally just clicked the Libertadores final on as that went in.

[Mellberg]

Nah, I don't think it was a pen. Hits his thigh first. Think LBW.

Not that I give a fuck :rave:

[Bob Sacamano]

1355615222191579136

There won't be another South American World Cup winner for the next 50 years, they are lightyears behind.

[niko_cee]

It's irrelevant if it hits his thigh first as he's going to block it with both his thigh and his arm, which is what he did, and it hardly deflects (if it even does) in an unusual way. It's not not handball just because you use your leg first, only if the deflection is weird and knocks the ball wildly into a flailing arm (a la Sissoko in the Champions League final). Oh wait.

[Shindig]

I dunno. The heat of Qatar might do something. And Covid.

[niko_cee]

Third reply in that twitter thread throwing some serious shade on Penaldo.

[Don]

Literally just clicked the Libertadores final on as that went in.

This. Those crowd scenes got me nostalgic. Open the clubs.

[randomlegend]

1355615222191579136

There won't be another South American World Cup winner for the next 50 years, they are lightyears behind.

Pretty sure that t-shirt costs like £800

[John Arne]

PSA: the weather in Qatar in Dec/Jan is really quite nice (20-25, and dry, rather than humid) and not at all what some people are talking about /richardkeys

[John Arne]

1355235763353481218

[niko_cee]

I see PGMOL are doubling down on that handball yesterday. Someone will have to explain to me how that isn't handball, when the Firmino one midweek, which deflects off an opponent's hand/arm, quite significantly, whilst he's being fouled, and is miles away from the final incident somehow is. Is the logic of that tiny legal touch that you could be diving to clear the ball off the line, graze it with your head and and then punch it away with your hand as long as you do it all in one motion? They're just making it up at this stage and I don't particularly blame them as football's rules really don't stand up to this level of forensic scrutiny. I'd be fascinated to know if the VAR would have overturned that handball had the ref given it on the pitch. Villa probably deserved it to after getting stiffed by the (subsequently changed) offside interpretation last week. The whole thing needs to go in the bin or maybe be replaced with some sort of challenge system (ugh) if Pandora won't go back in her box.

[Mellberg]

Conversation on a Villa forum I use where the old boys are basically in unison saying Grealish is the best player they've ever seen down the Villa. Considering they've watched us win the European Cup, that's a big claim, but he's now definitely the best I've seen. He's surpassed McGrath and Yorke this season. And the former won Player of the Year as a centre half playing for Aston Villa.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Grealish is the sort of player that makes neutral fans tune in to Villa games. I really hope you hold onto him, the league needs marquee players like that at teams that aren't Man U.

[Waffdon]

Why is Marcos Alonso starting Premier League games again and Reece James is not (apparently)

[Andy]

Conversation on a Villa forum I use where the old boys are basically in unison saying Grealish is the best player they've ever seen down the Villa. Considering they've watched us win the European Cup, that's a big claim, but he's now definitely the best I've seen. He's surpassed McGrath and Yorke this season. And the former won Player of the Year as a centre half playing for Aston Villa.

Since Barkley came back into the side and Grealish moved back to the left for me he's been the best player in the league.

I thought he was quiet yesterday compared to some of his recent performance and he still popped up with the most important part of the match.

Seems like the sort of player who raises his game when surrounded by other top players.

[Waffdon]

Why is Marcos Alonso starting Premier League games again and Reece James is not (apparently)

Alonso, Rudiger, Azpilicueta, Jorginho and Kovacic in a starting XI together is relegation standard :sick:

[Kikó]

Grealish makes everything look easy. There's a swagger about him that you don't see often in players. He was comfortably the best player on the pitch when we played Villa.

[Jimmy Floyd]

It's early days but these Tuchel team selections are concerning to say the least.

[Mellberg]

I think he's the best player in the league. It's at the stage now where he's so expensive he probably won't go. 100m isn't enough, but if Real Madrid or someone decide they like him then we'll have to see.

But yeah, the kid's a menace and can embarass the best players in the world. Absolute privilege having him in a Villa team at the min.

[Jimmy Floyd]

If I was in his boots I'd just want to be adored at the Villa, but then these are all people who choose to go on holiday to Dubai so they probably don't think like me.

[Baz]

It's early days but these Tuchel team selections are concerning to say the least.

You’d think after one game he’d know his best XI.

[niko_cee]

If I was in his boots I'd just want to be adored at the Villa, but then these are all people who choose to go on holiday to Dubai so they probably don't think like me.

It's the same with Kane at Spurs. He'll probably end up regretting never leaving even if he ends up a legend/breaks Greaves' goal record.

[AyDee]

Some odd decisions but he's presumably choosing based on training / players who are responding best to his instructions. Saying that, Reece James and Pulisic not starting in either game this week isn't ideal.

Mount starting though so game's in the bag.

[Mellberg]

If I was in his boots I'd just want to be adored at the Villa, but then these are all people who choose to go on holiday to Dubai so they probably don't think like me.

TBF the only time he's had his head turned we were entering our third season in the Champ and on the brink of insolvency.

Also, considering that was 2.5 years ago and this is somehow still a thing, I'm gonna post it one last time:

https://www.whoscored.com/Statistics

[Waffdon]

Some odd decisions but he's presumably choosing based on training / players who are responding best to his instructions. Saying that, Reece James and Pulisic not starting in either game this week isn't ideal.

Mount starting though so game's in the bag.

Pulisic has been a bit shit, to be fair. If Werner looks semi competent today, give Tuchel a knighthood

[Jimmy Floyd]

You’d think after one game he’d know his best XI.

It's more that his first instinct seems to be safety first, which when you are 9th or whatever we are is not going to help turn things around.

[randomlegend]

Christ I've just gone to look at the Chelsea line-up after reading this chatter. Absolutely rancid.

[Don]

He's clearly throwing this game to put an end to the Mount-Tammy axis of dogshit.

[Jimmy Floyd]

The Alonso for Chilwell one is the concerning one for me - Alonso has been total dogshit for two years, and Chilwell has been up there with our best players all year. It's a very strange one that reeks of dressing room politics.

[Giggles]

That Werner lad doesn’t look like he has it in him at all.

[Waffdon]

Nah, Chilwell hasn’t played well for weeks so he was due a dropping. Issue is Alonso reverting back in but then he’s probably the most natural wing back in football. He’ll probably score.

[Don]

Tammy Abraham trying to start something with Tarkowski :D sit your fucking giraffe limbs down you donkey.

[Waffdon]

Just taken out his own teammate now :D

[Waffdon]

Mason Mount and end product don’t go

[Don]

But he's been so active!

[Mellberg]

Chelsea obviously need a season for bedding in. They'll be decent next year.

[Don]

That Azpi goal looked dangerously like it came as a direct result of training ground coaching and instructions rather than bantering Jody Morris about his height.

[Jimmy Floyd]

The one criticism I will make of Mount is that I'm not sure that Mr Tumnus beard does a lot for him.

[Mellberg]

No Ndidi. No Vardy. Leeds might be a decent bet here.

[Waffdon]

Hudson Odoi is so good. Best passer at Chelsea by a fair bit

[Jimmy Floyd]

Hudson Odoi is so good. Best passer at Chelsea by a fair bit

If only he played against Erik Pieters every week.

[Bob Sacamano]

They drink it in the congo :drool:

[Waffdon]

If only he played against Erik Pieters every week.

Best player on the pitch against Wolves also. If only Mason Mount plays Fulham or West Brom every week, eh

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

That isn't a FB finish.

[Waffdon]

He was always scoring. He must average a goal every 3/4 games when played as a wing back

[Giggles]

Selection VINDICATED.

[John Arne]

Ben Mee just standing and watching is an interesting approach to defending.