Footballers that don't look like footballers

[-james-]

Sponsored by Nathaniel Phillips

https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/f/f9/Nat_phillips.jpg

[randomlegend]

Peter Crouch barely looks like a human being, nonetheless a footballer.

[Luca]

https://i.dailymail.co.uk/i/newpix/2018/07/26/19/4E9698A700000578-5996573-image-a-20_1532629146610.jpg

[Offshore Toon]

This is just going to turn into Giggles and Luca posting female footballers and upsetting Phonics.

[CJay]

I knew who this was going to be inspired by before even opening the thread.

He also doesn’t play like a footballer either.

[Luca]

This is just going to turn into Giggles and Luca posting female footballers and upsetting Phonics.

I posted Luke Shaw, so close enough, really.

How did I get lumped in with Giggles in all of this?

[Shindig]

Do Matt Le Tissier and Peter Beardsley count? I don't see them as playing professional sport for a living.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Ollie Watkins: CBeebies presenter. Unlikely to make the jump to serious TV roles.

https://encrypted-tbn0.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcQtw1kMcDWtz0Z9y5663Gsw7-PFVm9APXopAQ&usqp=CAU

Alisson: promiscuous heart throb on long running Spanish soap. Been through most of the female cast 'irl' too.

https://d3j2s6hdd6a7rg.cloudfront.net/v2/uploads/media/default/0002/08/thumb_107918_default_news_size_5.jpeg

Romaine Sawyers: 17 wickets in 9 Tests for the West Indies (2011-14). Dropped after a pay dispute with the board

https://static.fctables.com/upload/cj/cjun757c6890e8201d/romaine-sawyers.jpg

Andreas Christensen: resolved three notorious mathematical problems before the age of 20. Now being paid huge bucks at an American university wondering if his best is behind him

https://e0.365dm.com/18/11/768x432/skysports-andreas-christensen_4486110.jpg?20181113071728

Glenn Murray: been on the pro snooker tour for almost two decades, but the 2008 Welsh Open was his last ranking quarter-final

https://tmssl.akamaized.net/images/portrait/header/45693-1520605455.jpg?lm=1520605464

My main conclusion while researching this 5/10 post was how much 99% of footballers really do look exactly like footballers.

Scott McTominay looks like something that isn't a footballer, but I'm not sure what. I get World War II vibes from him - I think he may have been either the victim or perpetrator of a truly terrible atrocity somewhere on the eastern front.

[Baz]

https://s.hs-data.com/bilder/spieler/gross/253488.jpg

Highlighted quite remarkably when the stereotypical footballer (https://tbrfootball.com/static/uploads/27/2020/09/GettyImages-1228778280.jpg) plays on the opposite wing.

[Luca]

Scott could have played the leading role in Sam Mendes’ 1917.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Targett is a good one. Matt from accounts.

[Yevrah]

Jim's post. :D

[-james-]

Highlighted quite remarkably when the stereotypical footballer (https://tbrfootball.com/static/uploads/27/2020/09/GettyImages-1228778280.jpg) plays on the opposite wing.

Disagree here. If anything, Clive, he looks too much like a footballer.

[Boydy]

Alisson is dreamy.

[Manc]

Trifon Ivanov.

[Lewis]

He's got skin like a meth addict.

[randomlegend]

Alisson is dreamy.


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YaG5SAw1n0c

[Spammer]

https://pbs.twimg.com/media/EChb40-XUAE5gWY?format=jpg&name=medium

[Gray Fox]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YaG5SAw1n0c

It's for Baz to decide who needs to be outed.

[Smjffy]

Charlie Adam.

Looks more like a bricklayer who gets ripped all day.

[Danny]

Jim's post. :D

He has nailed it tbf. Cant argue with any of them :lol:


https://pbs.twimg.com/media/EChb40-XUAE5gWY?format=jpg&name=medium

Without cheating... Allan Cork right?

[Spoonsky]

I enjoy players like John McGinn and Adama Traore who really should be on the rugby field instead.

[-james-]

John McGinn is the personification of "wee guy".

[John Arne]

https://gyazo.com/a3d1db2de212b083212b779fd14818d0.jpeg

Dario Hubner, ice-cream man in Newport.

[Giggles]

Why am I getting tarred with the same brush as Luca?

[niko_cee]

:D

Poncy food pics.

[Spoonsky]

Dan James should be a TikTok star.

[Luca]

https://images.daznservices.com/di/library/GOAL/7b/3c/jack-grealish-aston-villa-2019-20_kjb5b1oqmotg1gtsla9oop9pe.jpg

He's either a greased-up club promoter in Wigan or one of those 18-22 year old Englishmen who go live in a hostel on the Gold Coast for two months to "get away from it all mate."

[Manc]

Nah, that's a classic shit footballer barnet.

[Jimmy Floyd]

No one looks more like a footballer than Jack Grealish.

[mugbull]

Grealish’s haircut is up there among the best

[Disco]

He has footballers hair, which is like saying someone dresses like a wrestler.

[Giggles]

He was never one of us. That’s too fine a mane and too English a face.

[Don]

Don't fucking crop the best bit :hubba::hubba:

[Luca]

Zlatan is the most footballesque footballer that ever footballed. Grealish is an Englishman-at-an-Aussie-hostel LAD.

[Baz]

He's either a greased-up club promoter in WiganHow did a Canadian get this description so spot on? :lol:

[Spoonsky]

Grealish’s haircut is up there among the best

Always makes me think of A Bug's Life.

https://external-content.duckduckgo.com/iu/?u=https%3A%2F%2Fi.ytimg.com%2Fvi%2F5CMM65_3KOA%2F maxresdefault.jpg&f=1&nofb=1

[The Merse]

I could reel off a list from the 90s but surely Julian Dicks was the most unlikely, and seemed to a bouncer at every club in the midlands in the noughties.

https://i.postimg.cc/W1pb3363/D0-AB6-E12-8-EF3-4158-9-A86-33-FA4881-EEE8.jpg

[Spammer]

He has nailed it tbf. Cant argue with any of them :lol:



Without cheating... Allan Cork right?

Aye it is

[Lofty]

That lad with the long hair who either played for Man City reserves or their New York outfit who went viral. Can't remember his name so a search was fruitless. He looked like the washboard operator in a skiffle band.

[Spoonsky]

Oh yes. Tommy McNamara :cool:

https://external-content.duckduckgo.com/iu/?u=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.gannett-cdn.com%2F-mm-%2F867ff8abe5c66d21525d14d4f9d24a403324d53f%2Fc%3D 0-54-1261-1002%2Flocal%2F-%2Fmedia%2F2015%2F08%2F01%2FWestchester%2FWestches ter%2F635740510957862572-soccer-5a.jpg&f=1&nofb=1

[Lofty]

He looks more like a footballer there, I was thinking of this picture:

https://i.ibb.co/tPZGRXs/C4-Fg7cd-WEAAO0-TF.jpg

[Reg]

The great Guy Butters:

https://seenews.net/wp-content/uploads/2019/08/c5855c14817c6ff9586a2dd0b559da6e.jpg

Although having seen the above picture. :D

[Kikó]

Tommy McNamara is a dream team player.

[Spoonsky]

Guy Butters might not look like a footballer, but he does look exactly like his name.

[Ian]

He looks more like a footballer there, I was thinking of this picture:

https://i.ibb.co/tPZGRXs/C4-Fg7cd-WEAAO0-TF.jpg

He's the son of the bassist of an old metal band, now standing in for his father because he's too old / ill / dead to tour any more.

[Disco]

His body looks weirdly long, I don't like it.

[niko_cee]

He's like the bastard love child of Legolas and whatever the dwarf is called.

[Ian]

Taz?

[Baz]

If someone told me this was a female Canadian 50m breast stroke bronze medalist, I wouldn’t immediately doubt it.

https://i2-prod.leicestermercury.co.uk/sport/football/football-news/article3882557.ece/ALTERNATES/s1200c/0_Youri-Tielemans-73.jpg

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Can we extend this to managers too? If so:

https://cdn.mos.cms.futurecdn.net/a4Rc7damohh9CeaUmVzHaW.jpg

Gareth Ainsworth.