Hillarious old people

[Spammer]

Her reaction to the bloke on Crimewatch was to tell me that he'd have been 'smothered in the hospital' if he was hers, a sentiment during which she clenched her legs together as if to say she'd have just been done with it the minute that head appeared.

Inspired by this quote (:D) I reckon we can get a thread out of this.

The best one from my gran was that 'there was none of that back in my day' about gay people, which lasted up until late dementia when she went full houseplant. My sister used to battle her about it until she realised she was tarnishing our lovely grandmas final years and ruining her own memories of her. Gran stuck at it though.

I was also at The Picture House in Leeds for a £4 all you can eat full English buffet last week (winning :cool:), where I went to the bogs after my first plate and was faced with an 80ish year old man man looking at me with disdain. He walked past me at the sink, gave me an up and down and then shook his head saying 'fucking hell' to himself as he walked out. Not sure what brought it on but it was great and I hope to do the same when I'm older.

[phonics]

I went to a lesbian wedding recently. The father in law used his speech to say, "It could have been worse, she used to hang out with a bunch of Indian kids back in the day and I didn't want a mixed race marriage"

[QE Harold Flair]

Old people always say what they like. I buck the trend and do so right now. Essentially they are fighting the same good fight as me on many occasions.

That father in law thing above sounds like a joke......

[John]

I was also at The Picture House in Leeds for a £4 all you can eat full English buffet last week (winning :cool:), where I went to the bogs after my first plate and was faced with an 80ish year old man man looking at me with disdain. He walked past me at the sink, gave me an up and down and then shook his head saying 'fucking hell' to himself as he walked out. Not sure what brought it on but it was great and I hope to do the same when I'm older.

What were you wearing at the time. Old people are more sensitive than most to fuckwittery like wearing a waistcoat in a casual setting.


I went to a lesbian wedding recently. The father in law used his speech to say, "It could have been worse, she used to hang out with a bunch of Indian kids back in the day and I didn't want a mixed race marriage"

You're one fat arsehole away from the best line ever to appear on Chuck.

[7om]

I worked in an Irish bar when I was about 17 and one drunken legend came up to me pissed one night:

'Are you a Jew?'
'No'
'You look like a Jew'

Then he walked off. Came up and apologised to me the next week but I still chuckle about it to this day. Got to appreciate that brute honesty.

[Spammer]

What were you wearing at the time. Old people are more sensitive than most to fuckwittery like wearing a waistcoat in a casual setting.

The only thing that stuck out was that I was wearing running shoes:

http://static2.jassets.com/p/Adidas-Ogin-Black-Running-Shoes-5202-7844111-1-product2.jpg

My normal shoes were at a friends' house :sorry:. That's all I can think of, unless he just didn't like the look of me.

[Toby]

I would probably look at those shoes in disgust too.

[Alan Shearer The 2nd]

Fucking hell.

[Benny]

When I was younger my mate was round mine and my nan asked him if we still had desks in school, which was quite funny at the time.

She's gone a bit brutal these past years, she was talking to my mum on the phone and apparently her friend had died, who was living in a home. My nan said it was lucky because she didn't like the home anyway, which wasn't said in a joking manner apparently :rosebud:

[Magic]

The wife's gran's sister or something refused to go the wife's sister's wedding because she thought her to-be husband was Turkish. He's not, they'd just been on holiday to Egypt from the photo she was shown and was tanned.

To this day she sends them Christmas cards and doesn't put his name in it. :D

She also sent us a card that had no writing in it, just a Merry Christmas card. And when I say 'sent' it was given to the wife's gran to distribute. Mentalist.

[Spammer]

My shoes had luminous orange, not luminous green. That's important to know.

[simon]

That makes them worse, if anything.

[bruhnaldo]

My Nana was rambling the other day when I was up visiting and long story short she just randomly comes out with "And that's why they shot Kennedy!"

I didn't really know what the fuck to say.

[John]

Those shoes are awful but I reckon you'd know if he was lolling at your shoes. More likely he was taken aback having thought he'd seen the ghost of Rocky Dennis.