TTH's biggest weirdo

[Offshore Toon]

Giggles getting up and turning the TV off over a swollen finger got me thinking, what's the weirdest thing that one of us does? As a community we've been pretty open about things, so let's celebrate and decide who TTH's biggest weirdo is.

[Baz]

It’s Mahow.

[Shindig]

Are we talking past or present? Because Gareth07uk or whatever he was called was an actual paedophile.

[Giggles]

TV?

[Boydy]

Are we talking past or present? Because Gareth07uk or whatever he was called was an actual paedophile.

Who?

[Offshore Toon]

It can be anyone, but you have to give a reason why.

[Shindig]

I'm talking way back. The Dugout. He got banned eventually and he had some ... stories that probably wound him up in a nonce wing.

[Disco]

Where do excessive coat wearing (SVN?) and eating lettuce in the cinema (Foe) rank?

[Foe]

Below travelling to Ukraine to meet a cyber girl I’d imagine.

Also below double trousers too.

Iceberg lettuce is a top quality snack.

[Offshore Toon]

What's the story behind excessive coat wearing again? Eating whatever you want in the cinema might look weird to the hyperinsecure amongst us, but imo that's a power move if anything.

So far:

1. Ukraine
2. Double trousers

[Disco]

Below travelling to Ukraine to meet a cyber girl I’d imagine.

Without a coat too.

[Shindig]

I hope he booked the flight at the desk.

[Foe]

Weirdo is just a perception though isn’t it. Someone’s norm is another’s weird.

Like hammer loves a bit of kinky shit but so do thousands of others. Weird to many, normal to them.

The Ukraine thing is a bit odd to me, but it might not to Mahow.

The double trousers is a bit odd to many, but was an attempt to appear normal to spikey.

It’s more peculiar behaviour than being weirdo.

Who’s got a man bun?

[Shindig]

There's nothing normal about being whipped by a 70 year old because, "It's the only time I feel safe and in control!" Hammer's a mentalist.

[Foe]

There's nothing normal about being whipped by a 70 year old because, "It's the only time I feel safe and in control!" Hammer's a mentalist.

You’ve sort of missed my point there quite beautifully.

[Spikey M]

The double trousers is a bit odd to many, but was an attempt to appear normal to spikey.



It most fucking certainly does not appear normal to Spikey.

[Offshore Toon]

Weirdo is just a perception though isn’t it. Someone’s norm is another’s weird.
Which is why I've opened the topic up for discussion instead of making a definitive list and asking for the thread to be closed.

The weirdest stuff is usually a desperate appeal to appear normal, and totally unnecessary but fueled by a lack of self-awareness. If it makes sense, it isn't particularly weird.

Sexual stuff is a bit different, but obviously can be ranked somewhere if they like eating shit. Kinkiness isn't weird, but it does depend how far you go. If Hammer was walking round in a gimp suit on a lead then, yeah, bit odd, but not quite Ukraine odd.

[Alan Shearer The 2nd]

Dark Soldier.

Speaking of which, is he ever on here now?

[Foe]

Spikey has a bit of nip to him.

/boom

[Offshore Toon]

Dark Soldier.

Speaking of which, is he ever on here now?
Yeah, still frequents. He posted a banging techno set on Friday.

[Offshore Toon]

Spikey has a bit of nip to him.

/boom
Spikey's weirdest moment was that "doo be doo" thing that Lewis will remember far better than me.

[Offshore Toon]

Shout outs to Henry and Harold too. The Garden Soccer stuff was fully mental, but probably a tad tongue-in-cheek, whereas Harold's intellectual insecurity resulted in a very strange stint on Teh Refuge. How long was he posting to himself on there in exile? 2-3 years?

[Spikey M]

You actually remember it, how funny.

[Manc]

Is any of this material archived?

[Offshore Toon]

I'm trying to find it and came across this:

https://www.tapatalk.com/groups/the_refuge_redux/viewtopic.php?p=44066#p44066

What was all that about?

EDIT: You copied somebody's post from TTH but can't get on the site to see who.

[mugbull]

GS probably the biggest nut i’ve seen

[Spikey M]

I'm trying to find it and came across this:

https://www.tapatalk.com/groups/the_refuge_redux/viewtopic.php?p=44066#p44066

What was all that about?

EDIT: You copied somebody's post from TTH but can't get on the site to see who.

It was a girl that used to post on the old forum black in the MySpace days. Chelsea fan I believe. Anyway, I put the moves on her, she added me on MySpace and I posted on her page saying, 'you actually added me, how funny, anyway... dobedo... hows you?' Or something equally fucking painful.

[Lofty]

Mantralux's religious fervour that Wenger's young guns would be world beaters was something to behold.

[SvN]

Mantralux was hilarious, with her adjusted database that had Walcott better than Messi and Ronaldo combined.

[Shindig]

I'm reminded just how much Henry really, really, really hates Baz. :D

[Spikey M]

Actually, my weirdest moment is measuring my head because Bam and Kiko are no good bullies.

[Foe]

Let’s keep garden soccer out of here. Top quality website, grade A sport.

[Disco]

Actually, my weirdest moment is measuring my head because Bam and Kiko are no good bullies.

Did you use one of those tiny rulers you get from christmas crackers?

[Spikey M]

Did you use one of those tiny rulers you get from christmas crackers?i

NO I USED YOUR MUMS FUCKING BELT.

[Disco]

I don't imagine that worked very well.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Garden Soccer would have gone MASSIVE in the lockdown era with today's social media. 15 years ahead of its time.

[Greg]

Whoever said that Hope Solo had the nicest butthole they'd ever seen. Thinking Trancemeister but could be wrong. Definitely got rapey vibes from that one.

[Giggles]

She has a growler like a lamb shawarma.

[Manc]

American lasses definitely have a particular head.

[Lewis]

I think 'weirdo' has to cover general behaviour and/or outlook rather than isolated incidents, so as hilarious as the SvN coat story is these days you wouldn't expect anyone in his real life to think he's strange with his business and his family and his gleaming pate. With that in mind, I think most people would be looking towards the likes of - in no particular order - myself, Yevrah, Giggles, Smiffy, and Pepe as an outside bet. Me for example. Everyone I know (except the old man, who I take after) thinks I'm some sort of crank. I don't think I am, and I don't play up to it. I just crack on. But I'm aware of the perception.

I would say Giggles.

[Smjffy]

40 posts to get a mention. I thought I was going to fly under the radar on this one.

I am an oddball but it doesn't reflect as well online as it does IRL as I sense on here I'm disliked more than liked whereas in real life it's the complete opposite. Nothing wrong with a small dose of weirdness so long as you're not twitching curtains or whatever.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

As if Lewis didn't mention me.

[Spikey M]

As if Lewis didn't mention me.

You've reverted back to your boring 1-0 Ronaldo early years. You need to step it up.

[Lewis]

It's hard to actually assess because - at least based on what we hear from you - the anxiety stuff prevents you doing half of the day-to-day things that you would normally measure 'weirdness' against. You're more of (merely) a shut-in.

[Jimmy Floyd]

I think 'weirdo' has to cover general behaviour and/or outlook rather than isolated incidents, so as hilarious as the SvN coat story is these days you wouldn't expect anyone in his real life to think he's strange with his business and his family and his gleaming pate. With that in mind, I think most people would be looking towards the likes of - in no particular order - myself, Yevrah, Giggles, Smiffy, and Pepe as an outside bet. Me for example. Everyone I know (except the old man, who I take after) thinks I'm some sort of crank. I don't think I am, and I don't play up to it. I just crack on. But I'm aware of the perception.

I would say Giggles.

You're not a crank, but you have a zero-bullshit approach which I can well imagine throwing a lot of people. It took me half an hour to get used to the unfettered directness when I met you, iirc. And that's me, an educated cynic who had read thousands of your posts prior to that. Idiots in offices must really, really struggle.

I can imagine Giggles being cut from similar cloth.

[Giggles]

I could go along with me in fairness, though I let most of it out here so I’m hugely different in real life. Unlike Lewis, by the sounds of it, I wouldn’t say anything even close to what I’d type here to anyone.

[igor_balis]

I think the forum works cus everyone here is a total weirdo, but it's largely lots of different types of weirdness that complement each other.

[randomlegend]

Harold is an actual maniac.

[Manc]

Genuine odd balls I don't mind, it's those that ham it up which need culling.

[Lofty]

No love for Bolton Massiv locking himself in his house before moving to Taiwan to teach housewives English with his cock?

[Shindig]

Did we ever find out if his bit on the side survived the moped crash?

[Spikey M]

No love for Bolton Massiv locking himself in his house before moving to Taiwan to teach housewives English with his cock?

Actually, 'Chicken on Pasta' deserves a mention.

[igor_balis]

is this that charlie bloke?

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Chicken on pasta was incredible.

[Spoonsky]

It's gotta be Charlie. I think he's still in Taiwan too.

[Luca]

You're not a crank, but you have a zero-bullshit approach which I can well imagine throwing a lot of people. It took me half an hour to get used to the unfettered directness when I met you, iirc. And that's me, an educated cynic who had read thousands of your posts prior to that. Idiots in offices must really, really struggle.

I can imagine Giggles being cut from similar cloth.

This. The most striking (and strikingly genuine) thing about Lewis is that he’s the same person in-person as he is online. To an absolute tee.

[Lewis]

Wore my medals and everything.

[Luca]

WWE-style Championship Belt with “TTH 1.0” on it.

[The Merse]

Leaving aside Harold, Saint and myriad odd types that passed through the old place whose usernames I'll never remember, Spoonsky spending his teens in Utah or whatever hanging out in these particular off topics with a by-then bunch of late 20s/early 30s blokes from UK with the odd smattering of Scandi always struck me as weird as fuck. Also, I never really got what the likes of Diljeet ever found in this place.

But, Harold. The fucking maniac. Giggles of the current crowd.

[Luca]

Harold was, in some ways, the antithesis to Lewis. Played the billy big bollocks (and played up the racism) on the board, but my sense is that he was just a lonely troll who wouldn’t say/do any the shit he talked about ‘irl’.

To be fair to Spoon, a lot of us were pretty young when we joined. Me, James, and a few others as well.

[Dark Soldier]

Dark Soldier.

Speaking of which, is he ever on here now?

Fucking straight edge these days ya cunt.

Its Gareth, as Shindig said. Noncepocalypse. Or Chinny and his build a bonfire views.

Also R1 and his jacking off in deserted mental hospitals thing.

[Dark Soldier]

Lets be honest though its Wedge.

[Spikey M]

We're all Wedge.

[Lewis]

Harold was more baffling than a weirdo. I think he was generally quite 'conventional', but it was hitched (arf) to what the fuck. I used to try and work him out, what it was beyond just being a bit thick, and I could never quite put my finger on it. You would tend towards a bizarre level of neediness, which constantly claiming not to care about the board would support, but a) why; and b) wouldn't you be better off just being a middling lol poster (he was quite funny) if you wanted to rub along than winding everybody up but then craving the interaction?

Remember when he claimed that most people in the country were middle class, Taz posted the Great British Class Survey showing otherwise, and then he went 'Er no this is the definitive study' and posted the exact same thing because he hadn't actually read any of it? That one sticks out, as does citing some low rent online dictionary definition of 'politics' at me because he thought Carl von Clausewitz's definition of warfare was one that I had personally formulated to disagree with him on something. What was he trying to achieve? Like I say, baffling.

[Lewis]

Also, what did he do for work that enabled him to be online for about twenty hours a day? That was always glossed over when he used to occasionally lose his rag and mock me for not having a job. Maybe he was weird actually.

[Spikey M]

I think he was just unwilling to accept he was wrong to the point that the E-Victory mattered above all else. It's a pretty major personality flaw in and of it's self, but it's downright self-destructive when you're a wing-nut shouting at a load of lefties (as we were for the most part, but our old age is shifting us all to the right) that will never agree with you.

[Offshore Toon]

I liked when Harold went to (the open) university and kept posting his results on Teh Refuge.

I'm not having Saint as a weirdo, though.

[phonics]

Also, what did he do for work that enabled him to be online for about twenty hours a day? That was always glossed over when he used to occasionally lose his rag and mock me for not having a job. Maybe he was weird actually.

My theory was that he sold drugs which is why he was always awake at all hours and disappeared off the face of the planet for a bit.

[Offshore Toon]

I think more likely is his mum or dad died when he was a teenager and left him a decent amount of money and property to push well into his thirties without working.

[Smjffy]

I still maintain that Harold never had my account despite what I said to Offy and I just made a poor decision. I can't believe I got permabanned for that but not the rest of the shit I put on you lot over the years. :D

[The Merse]

Harold was, in some ways, the antithesis to Lewis. Played the billy big bollocks (and played up the racism) on the board, but my sense is that he was just a lonely troll who wouldn’t say/do any the shit he talked about ‘irl’.

To be fair to Spoon, a lot of us were pretty young when we joined. Me, James, and a few others as well.

There were a lot more posters, and a much broader age range back then though.

And still, Spoonsky is lovely, and not a weirdo - I just found it odd that his character found it's way, in the state of the board at the time, and fitted in - even became a star turn. More somewhere to voice that than an accusation, anyway!

[ScousePig]

Harold was more baffling than a weirdo. I think he was generally quite 'conventional', but it was hitched (arf) to what the fuck. I used to try and work him out, what it was beyond just being a bit thick, and I could never quite put my finger on it. You would tend towards a bizarre level of neediness, which constantly claiming not to care about the board would support, but a) why; and b) wouldn't you be better off just being a middling lol poster (he was quite funny) if you wanted to rub along than winding everybody up but then craving the interaction?

Remember when he claimed that most people in the country were middle class, Taz posted the Great British Class Survey showing otherwise, and then he went 'Er no this is the definitive study' and posted the exact same thing because he hadn't actually read any of it? That one sticks out, as does citing some low rent online dictionary definition of 'politics' at me because he thought Carl von Clausewitz's definition of warfare was one that I had personally formulated to disagree with him on something. What was he trying to achieve? Like I say, baffling.

SG used to claim that anyone who owned a computer was middle class. It would have been 15 years ago so he might have had more of a point back then.

[Jimmy Floyd]

With Harold there was obviously a big secret as he clearly didn't work. Could be Offshore's suggestion, could have been medical, who knows.

[Shindig]

He was probably claiming top whack disability.

[phonics]

My original thought was getting money from being a 'carer' which was why he hated 'benefit scum' so much. As with anything right-wing, it's projection.

However, the enforced absence is only explained by a prison sentence.

[Shindig]

Or he's dead.

[Spikey M]

Maybe he just moved on?

Hahahahaha.

Yeah, dead or in Prison. Only explanations.

[Offshore Toon]

Maybe he still walks among us.

[phonics]

Or he's dead.

No there was a time when he had a registered account, posted under it normally, went missing your 9 months and then came back with a bunch of spam threads about dirty forrins.

[Bam]

When was he last on the fuge? Is that place still going?

[Spikey M]

Dunno, it changed to that god awful new forum design and I can't bring myself to look at it again.

[Giggles]

You can’t log in without a tapatalk account now. They must have took over zetaboards.

[Offshore Toon]

I went on there looking for Spikey's MySpace the other day. Nothing happens there anymore. I think the last post was from Mahow in February asking if this place had gone down. It's still handy for that, to be fair, but I think most of us would rather just have a night off than hang out at Teh Refuge these days.

[Giggles]

I just email Bam if this place goes down now.

[Spoonsky]

Leaving aside Harold, Saint and myriad odd types that passed through the old place whose usernames I'll never remember, Spoonsky spending his teens in Utah or whatever hanging out in these particular off topics with a by-then bunch of late 20s/early 30s blokes from UK with the odd smattering of Scandi always struck me as weird as fuck. Also, I never really got what the likes of Diljeet ever found in this place.

But, Harold. The fucking maniac. Giggles of the current crowd.

:D

That's a good shout. I'd have myself down as pretty weird to be honest. I think I stumbled upon TTH (having gotten into The Dugout via the Manager's Diary, where as a 12-year-old I wrote two 80,000+ word World Cup simulation-stories - I think Jimmy Floyd would remember that if nobody else - which shows plenty of weirdness in itself) as an only child, basically right as I hit puberty, and as soppy as this will sound it gave me a kind of community I hadn't experienced before, where I could connect with people across huge barriers of identity and have it not really matter at all. There was also something about this strange society of 50+ people who all knew each other and could somehow understand each other's jokes and references dating back years, that wasn't like anything else I'd known in life, and I'm guessing for most others here who don't live in villages that's the case as well. But there's no doubt that the fact my teenage years were as much shaped in the social cauldron of mid-20s Brits as they were in my high school had some kind of strange effect on me. At this point I'm pretty much normal to the outsider's eye, and the existence of this place and the amount of time I've spent on here is something known only to my girlfriend and a handful of my closest friends; but still, when I told my girlfriend about it after we'd been dating for a couple months, she said, after she'd finished lolling, that it made a lot of sense.

fuck that's a long post about myself

[Don]

That? That's just a bit of dust in my eye.

[Revolution]

I'm a huge fucking weirdo and I take absolute pride in it. But I'm also not active on any forums and have no social media so it's all good.

[mugbull]

Spoonsky pretty much exactly the same as me

[Lofty]

Are you still in a funk band Spoon?

[The Merse]

:D

That's a good shout. I'd have myself down as pretty weird to be honest. I think I stumbled upon TTH (having gotten into The Dugout via the Manager's Diary, where as a 12-year-old I wrote two 80,000+ word World Cup simulation-stories - I think Jimmy Floyd would remember that if nobody else - which shows plenty of weirdness in itself) as an only child, basically right as I hit puberty, and as soppy as this will sound it gave me a kind of community I hadn't experienced before, where I could connect with people across huge barriers of identity and have it not really matter at all. There was also something about this strange society of 50+ people who all knew each other and could somehow understand each other's jokes and references dating back years, that wasn't like anything else I'd known in life, and I'm guessing for most others here who don't live in villages that's the case as well. But there's no doubt that the fact my teenage years were as much shaped in the social cauldron of mid-20s Brits as they were in my high school had some kind of strange effect on me. At this point I'm pretty much normal to the outsider's eye, and the existence of this place and the amount of time I've spent on here is something known only to my girlfriend and a handful of my closest friends; but still, when I told my girlfriend about it after we'd been dating for a couple months, she said, after she'd finished lolling, that it made a lot of sense.

fuck that's a long post about myself

I enjoyed it, mind :D

Also, I definitely recall enjoying the TMD stuff, I did the odd bit there too.

[Lofty]

My favourite TMD was the Chris De Burgh stuff, can't remember the author.

[Lewis]

Speaking of TMD, Vic Flange claimed to be a successful middle aged man. Now whether or not he was funny after the first ten posts (not really), why was he writing sexually explicit stories for young lads on a Football Manager forum with his spare time?

[-james-]

I liked when Harold went to (the open) university and kept posting his results on Teh Refuge.

I'm not having Saint as a weirdo, though.

Saint was probably one of the most normal people that's ever posted on here.

[7om]

Speaking of TMD, Vic Flange claimed to be a successful middle aged man. Now whether or not he was funny after the first ten posts (not really), why was he writing sexually explicit stories for young lads on a Football Manager forum with his spare time?

That's a great shout.

Every now and then I'd wonder in there and read some of his stuff. I mean, it was pretty well written but it was smut on a football manager board at the end of the day. Weirdly, he also never seem to finish a story before popping up with a new one.

[Raoul Duke]

Saint was probably one of the most normal people that's ever posted on here.

Research on that

[Offshore Toon]

I wonder what Saint's Bulgarian property is worth these days.

[Shindig]

That's a great shout.

Every now and then I'd wonder in there and read some of his stuff. I mean, it was pretty well written but it was smut on a football manager board at the end of the day. Weirdly, he also never seem to finish a story before popping up with a new one.

At least I had the decency to rush to the finish. Ooh er.

[Lewis]

Saint was only really a low-level weirdo, but it was seemingly across the board and in every aspect of his life, so it probably added up to a lot.

[igor_balis]

Found harold



https://youtu.be/hWmxeaz6ftE

[Baz]

Angelsaint wasn’t so much weird, just that his English was absolutely dreadful.

[Offshore Toon]

Angelsaint was an unapologetic don. Certain nerds couldn't handle that so they used his poor English as an excuse to get him banned because they didn't like their irl inadequacy showing online.

He could barely string two words together, but he was better than you.

[Baz]

Me? Or...

[Giggles]

Me? Or...

All of us.

[Offshore Toon]

If you feel it might apply to you, then it applies to you.

[Giggles]

It applies to all the weirdos here. ie everyone.

[Panda Bear]

You're not a crank, but you have a zero-bullshit approach which I can well imagine throwing a lot of people. It took me half an hour to get used to the unfettered directness when I met you, iirc. And that's me, an educated cynic who had read thousands of your posts prior to that. Idiots in offices must really, really struggle.

I can imagine Giggles being cut from similar cloth.

Lewis would have made an excellent Russian.

[Jimmy Floyd]

My line manager is Russian and I have to agree with you. Niceties set to zero.

[Spoonsky]

The name of Utotri was mentioned in the last Hax session. He must be right up there with the weirdos. I don't even remember what made him so weird, but I'm certain he was.

[Ian]

He used to write dissertions as the OP for Eurovision, that's a little odd.

[John]

He pissed in bottles because he couldn't be bothered going to the toilet.

[Boydy]

He pissed in bottles because he couldn't be bothered going to the toilet.
It's no shitting on a magazine though.

[John]

It's no shitting on a magazine though.

That is deeply mental, but it was a one off. Utotri pissed in bottles regularly.

Foe pissing his pants because he couldn't find the light switch in his own bedroom and he thought the elastic would keep the piss in is much worse than Maz shitting on a copy of Loaded too.

[Boydy]

Wait, Foe did what? :D

Isn't Trancemeister a fully certified weirdo too?

[Vercetti]

Foe pissing his pants because he couldn't find the light switch in his own bedroom and he thought the elastic would keep the piss in is much worse than Maz shitting on a copy of Loaded too.

:D

Jesus.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Isn't Trancemeister a fully certified weirdo too?

He likes a gimp mask.

[Ian]

Foe pissing his pants because he couldn't find the light switch in his own bedroom and he thought the elastic would keep the piss in is much worse than Maz shitting on a copy of Loaded too.

:cab:

[Offshore Toon]

Foe Trancemeister

You're on trial, boys.

That's mental about Foe. Proper mental.

[Manc]

That is end of days behaviour from Foe.

[Spikey M]

Foe charging into an unlikely lead.

[SvN]

Who shat on a magazine?

[Lofty]

Did I tell you lot about me shitting in the first hole at Sittingbourne Golf Club during a wedding reception to win a £50 bet?

[Boydy]

Who shat on a magazine? Mazuuurk

[Ian]

Did I tell you lot about me shitting in the first hole at Sittingbourne Golf Club during a wedding reception to win a £50 bet?

More like shittingbourne amirite.

[Ian]

I keep thinking about that Foe story and I can't decide which is the most mental bit. I suspect it might be overestimating the watertight-ness of elastic.

Perhaps I should stop and just appreciate it as one glorious thing.

[Spikey M]

Art is multi-faceted. It can be appreciated for both individual elements and the piece as a whole.

[Ian]

You're so wise.

[Disco]

It's about time for my morning 'art installation'.

[Mazuuurk]

When nature calls, lads :sorry:

[Lewis]

Thinking about Maz and his magazine reminds me of another top tier headbanger: thelastnightintown (aka 'Towny', aka 'Nota Bene'). That all went to shit when he was made a moderator over the funtime Swedish option because Intergalactic Nonce wanted lols banished from his sections.

[7om]

Who was the pleb who finished every sentence with ‘trufax’ or ‘real talk’? Was it Jonny or Jonjo or something?

That guy was absolutely demented.

[Lewis]

JonWo. The Wo Man. He was funny on odd days, and the rest of the time you wondered why he bothered.

[Disco]

Also Timbo and his trampoline vendetta.

[7om]

JonWo. The Wo Man. He was funny on odd days, and the rest of the time you wondered why he bothered.

:lol:

That’s the one. Fucking freak.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Didn't someone take a shit in snow when walking to a friend's house when they were young?

[Shindig]

What was the full story of Magic pissing himself at an airport? Was it as simple as him not having money for a pay toilet or something?

[Magic]

What about Two Jeans Boom? He PMd me the other week. I haven't replied.

[Magic]

Vic Flange's drawing of Ronan ended me. :D

[mugbull]

JonWo was a star iirc

[Spikey M]

I used to get you and him mixed up so, yeah.

[Lewis]

Vic Flange's drawing of Ronan ended me. :D

I don't remember that, but it won't have been as good as the thing Alan made of him wanking over buildings.

[randomlegend]

Alan was such good value in the paint threads.

[Lewis]

That one he did of the Irish famine was a masterpiece.

[Magic]

I don't remember that, but it won't have been as good as the thing Alan made of him wanking over buildings.

LOL oh yes it was Al0n.

[Shindig]

I do wish some of those MS Paint threads got archived.

[Lofty]

Who was the ultimate Barcelona plastic?

[Ian]

I do wish some of those MS Paint threads got archived.

Sama brought some over but I dunno which ones.

[phonics]

The images were hosted on a site that died though which meant it couldn’t be pulled over.

[randomlegend]

Sama brought some over but I dunno which ones.

There's a thread where he copied over a load of images from the football moments one but 90% are dead now.

[Ian]

Oh. :(

[Lewis]

Who was the ultimate Barcelona plastic?

Do you mean Pokerface? He was Real Madrid, but it was probably all a lie. I think his IP address was in somewhere like Oldham when he was claiming to live in France.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Imagine pretending to live in France.

'Popped out to the creperie tonight, but not before Jean-Michel had come round and offered me coffee from a bowl. Oh la la, I told him, nice écharpe, is that for the winter?'

[igor_balis]

My worst pissing and shitting stories happened in consecutive days at Womad festival, 2008.

The first full morning my dad demonstrated "the right way to pour a gin and tonic", which turned out to be half and half. In a pint glass. I was 16 at this point, and hardly a seasoned boozer.

I got lost from my dad and his girlfriend at around 12pm, and spent the rest of the day staggering round the campsite, avoiding crusties and drum circles and shit. I don't remember much of the day, except going for a piss in a portaloo in this designated area with about 40 of them, and 200 levellers fans waiting to use them. You had to climb up a couple of stars to get to each individual cubicle. I was so battered that I lost my balance, and fell backwards with enough force to open the locked door (or, more likely, I forgot to lock it), and fall backwards onto the floor, with my nob out, presumably still pissing. I don't know what kind of reaction I got, but despite being an awkward enough piss shy dork to wait 10 minutes for a cubicle at west brom games to avoid the TROUGH, I was still unfazed enough to just get up, go back into the toilet, and flush and wash my hands.


The next day I felt so rough I just slept all day in my tent. Woke up at about 2am absolutely desperate for a shit, realised I wasn't gonna make it, so did a horrible wet booze poo into the only available receptacle, a tesco carrier bag. I forgot they have little holes in them to stop stupid children suffocating. Used a sock for paper. Only had the nerve to carry the bag to the bins once the sound of acoustic guitars had died down, at around 5 am, so I just sat silently with nothing for company except a bag of poo slowly leaking onto the previous day's t shirt. The following morning I had an exchange similar to homer and millhouse's in that simpsons episode with my dad

"it smells like shit in there, igor"
"...no it doesn't".


I've not been to a proper music festival in my life, and womad 2008 is definitely a big factor.

[bruhnaldo]

I shit in a bag at Bonnaroo once because like fuck am I hovering a portypotty on Day 4.

[randomlegend]

Saint was definitely a weirdo by the way. Even just his bizarre obsession with Messi not being very good was enough to label him as such.

[randomlegend]

I told one of my shitting stories already (when I shit myself going to work when I had flu) but I do have another.

A few years ago I did some summer work for British Sugar (when my dad worked for them) collecting soil samples from fields. I drove out to one one morning and when I got there I was desperate for a shit, but obviously in the middle of nowhere with no hope of a toilet in miles.

I got in the back of the van, lined a big bucket with a bag, shit in there and tied it up. Then I realised the back doors to the van couldn't be opened from the inside. Panic stations. Was trying to Google how to get out a van from the inside, but no internet. Couldn't even grovellingly call someone as there was no mobile signal. I thought I would just be able to climb through the front and get out the door but there was some metal cage setup to stop the heavy stuff in the back from coming through and smashing shit up.

Thought I was going to die there and be found with a bag of my own shit.

Eventually I managed to disassemble the cage thing and get out the front.

A couple of days later I happened to turn up at one field at the same time as another guy who was collecting different samples. He had the side doors of the back of his van open. Was just about to say to him "oh your van's different to minez it's got side doors" when I saw mine did too. And they opened from the inside :) Fml

[phonics]

Meeting Sama at a club, going to get a drink and finding he'd left and finding out on TTH that it was because he'd pissed himself and literally jumped the steel barriers to get out of there was a highlight.

Him turning up at my door to watch a Newcastle game a week after Halloween with silver paint on him from a robot costume was good too.

Not submitting Sama to the weirdo club, he was actually incredibly normal like every other TTHer I've met.

[John]

It's possible I was doing Foe a disservice when I said he thought he'd be fine because of the elastic. He said he thought it would be fine because he was 'wearing trunks', which I took to mean trunk boxers, the only possibly waterproof properties of which even a drunk person could assume would be the elastic. It's possible though that he meant swimming trunks, which would be even funnier.

Ian the funniest part is definitely that he's an engineer who couldn't find the light switch or door in his own bedroom.

[Ian]

See I went there first but the elastic....


Meeting Sama at a club, going to get a drink and finding he'd left and finding out on TTH that it was because he'd pissed himself and literally jumped the steel barriers to get out of there was a highlight.

Him turning up at my door to watch a Newcastle game a week after Halloween with silver paint on him from a robot costume was good too.

Not submitting Sama to the weirdo club, he was actually incredibly normal like every other TTHer I've met.

Sama is a top fella but he mixes all his Chinese food into one swirly mess so he's clearly a bit of a wrong'un.

[igor_balis]

Which TTHers have actually met each other?

[igor_balis]

I want a spreadsheet

[Spikey M]

See I went there first but the elastic....

Sama is a top fella but he mixes all his Chinese food into one swirly mess so he's clearly a bit of a wrong'un.

I'm going to need more information there. What exactly was he mixing? Mixing your noodles and main is the correct way to eat a Chinese, mashing spring rolls into it, less so.

[Ian]

I'm going to need more information there. What exactly was he mixing? Mixing your noodles and main is the correct way to eat a Chinese, mashing spring rolls into it, less so.

Whatever combination of things he got. For the sake of argument, let's say he and his other half were sharing a sweet and sour chicken and a beef in black bean with some egg fried rice and a tub of chow mein. He's getting all of that shit and mixing it into one heap of mixed-togetherness.

I was so appalled when I found out I did a fred for it and everything:
https://www.thethirdhalf.co.uk/showthread.php?401-Chinese-food-How-do-you-eat-it

[phonics]

Which TTHers have actually met each other?

You, Sama, Kiko is my list. Kiko's wife is too good for him and the man's a 9/10 already. What a nice person even if she did accuse me of being a Manc.

I've probably spoken to Mellin with us both being Erdington lads but not knowingly.

[Spikey M]

Yeah. That's not ok. 2 separate piles are needed there.

[Giggles]

I’ve met GS, Harold, and Bam. We go for a swift half every second Friday.

[Lewis]

Whatever combination of things he got. For the sake of argument, let's say he and his other half were sharing a sweet and sour chicken and a beef in black bean with some egg fried rice and a tub of chow mein. He's getting all of that shit and mixing it into one heap of mixed-togetherness.

I was so appalled when I found out I did a fred for it and everything:
https://www.thethirdhalf.co.uk/showthread.php?401-Chinese-food-How-do-you-eat-it

The state of Tobias thinking he's General Gordon because he took his fat fucking head to Hong Kong for ten minutes.

[Jimmy Floyd]

I've met a lot of TTHers, but none for some time now. Ones I can remember:

Lewis
Amigo
Jord (RIP in pieces)
dela (same)
Henry
Raoul
Kiko
Foe
GS
Sama
Luca
elth

Most of them were when I lived in London, don't get there much these days. All of them were nice, from what I can remember. Even Henry.

[Lewis]

I have met Floyd (twice), Amigo, 'Jord', Randrew, and manc sean (twice). I also saw Richie outside of an exam once, and he looks like a ginger Big Bird.

[randomlegend]

I've only met Lewis. I've prolly walked past one or two others in Norwich at some point.

[Spikey M]

I've been in the same club as John, who saw me but didn't say hello, the cunt, and the same pub as Wullie, which we only found out about retrospectively.

[randomlegend]

I can't remember if Lewis ordered milk or not when we met, I don't think he did y'know. I do remember him announcing to the bar girl that it was "a bit fucking morbid in here".

[Jimmy Floyd]

I had to buy Lewis a milk the second time (the first time I think he stuck to coke while me and Jord got hammered, and Amigo didn't understand the social aspect of drinking liquids, so his throat remained dry).

Every other meet I think involved getting slaughtered, which is the best way to do it.

[John]

I've been in the same club as John, who saw me but didn't say hello, the cunt, and the same pub as Wullie, which we only found out about retrospectively.

I only realised it was you about five minutes later, having spent that time trying to place your face and wondering who I could possibly know who was a big enough pleb to have painted little 90s acid rave patterns all over their face in neon paint, so you're the cunt here.

[Giggles]

Spikey :nono:

[Offshore Toon]

I assume the lists being posted are ranked in order of weirdness.

[Lewis]

The neon paint was so his friends didn't lose him.

[Ian]

Me and Fandan were in the same nerdy beer shop which we realised later when he described me being a nerd on here.

[Disco]

The neon paint was so his friends didn't lose him.

But only from the side.

[Spikey M]

I only realised it was you about five minutes later, having spent that time trying to place your face and wondering who I could possibly know who was a big enough pleb to have painted little 90s acid rave patterns all over their face in neon paint, so you're the cunt here.

Listen, right. Those hand prints were created by a heterosexual man who ended the night rolling around the floor in an Eccy fueled embrace, with the most Mancunian man I've ever met, whilst his future wife watched on. His enthusiasm was not to be quibbled with. He now owns a record label/agency and has put out music for Loco Dice and Dave Seaman.

I could have been an album cover.

https://i.ibb.co/2WrHBNG/Screenshot-20200409-193614-Facebook.jpg

https://i.ibb.co/yFxdYh6/Screenshot-20200409-193633-Facebook.jpg

[Giggles]

Which one are you?

[Spikey M]

Blue top.

[Spikey M]

The one with the BIGGEST HEAD.

*90% hair.

[Giggles]

That would have been my guess.

[SvN]

I saw Mellin outside the Bristol Pear (where I worked as a chef as a student), but wasn't sure enough to know it was him to say anything. It was only afterwards on TD when he said he saw me that I knew for sure.

The next day, the bar staff told me that some pisshead was asking if the Man United fan was working in the kitchen.

Not sure if that counts.

[igor_balis]

I've met phonics and mokbull. Both top lads.

[Lewis]

These brushes with Mellin, rather than actual meetings, sound like dodgy alibis.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

I once saw an Indian man who was the spitting image of Baz (with a different skin tone ofc), does that count?

[Lewis]

Of all the jokes you could have done about meeting people off the internet.

[Lofty]

Do you mean Pokerface? He was Real Madrid, but it was probably all a lie. I think his IP address was in somewhere like Oldham when he was claiming to live in France.

He rings a bell but I'm sure there was someone who was convinced Bojan was the next Maradonna.

[Mazuuurk]

I've met a lot of TTHers, but none for some time now. Ones I can remember:

Lewis
Amigo
Jord (RIP in pieces)
dela (same)
Henry
Raoul
Kiko
Foe
GS
Sama
Luca
elth

Most of them were when I lived in London, don't get there much these days. All of them were nice, from what I can remember. Even Henry.


Aww fuck you. We had a blast.

Apart from Floyd, I've met Kiko, Elth, Sandman and dela.

I also vaguely recall skyping with Tokey about a billion years ago.

[Giggles]

Aww fuck you. We had a blast.

Apart from Floyd, I've met Kiko, Elth, Sandman and dela.

I also vaguely recall skyping with Tokey about a billion years ago.

Tokey? Toby?

[Lewis]

Tokey. Computer wizard.

[Mazuuurk]

Thinking about Maz and his magazine reminds me of another top tier headbanger: thelastnightintown (aka 'Towny', aka 'Nota Bene'). That all went to shit when he was made a moderator over the funtime Swedish option because Intergalactic Nonce wanted lols banished from his sections.

He was a nutter. So was IJ.

Remember when I came second or something in one of these "best poster of the board" things we did back around then - this when I was just a little wilder - and everyone were like "yeah he's good but nah is he that good!?"

But I was pretty damn good. Old merits :drool:

[Jimmy Floyd]

Aww fuck you. We had a blast.

Apart from Floyd, I've met Kiko, Elth, Sandman and dela.

I also vaguely recall skyping with Tokey about a billion years ago.

Haha, I've tried to erase that evening from my memory. But yes, we did have a blast and that also involved getting slaughtered.

Christ I was so young then.

[Boydy]

I wanna go on the piss with Jim. :(

[Giggles]

I wanna go on the piss with Jim. :(

I think I do now too.

[Foe]

Lads. :(

I was drunk. I couldn’t find the light switch in my new flat in Shetland and I over estimated the capability of my boxer trunks.

Shame.

Not even the stupidest thing I did in Shetland either, but boy do I regret missing the finding the light switch whilst in the dark drunk class at engineering school.

[Spikey M]

What was the stupidest thing you did in Shetland?

[Lewis]

Entered a Biggest Head competition.

[Disco]

Entered a Biggest Head competition.

Sounds like the Shetland version of Monopoly "Won 2nd prize in a biggest head contest"

[Spikey M]

I've £10 on 'moving there'.

[Luca]

I have met Floyd (twice), Amigo, 'Jord', Randrew, and manc sean (twice). I also saw Richie outside of an exam once, and he looks like a ginger Big Bird.

Cunt.

I've met Lewis, Jimmy, Kiko (multiple times), ItalAussie, Taz, Sama (twice), angeldust, Josh, and Dmitry (fuck if I remember his username - he's an Aussie). All lovely. Had a drink planned with Amigo as well before the Coronavirus ruined it.

Sandman and I used to ring each other at New Year's for about three years running as well. What a man.

[Lewis]

Oh yeah. Sorry mate.

[Kikó]

Phonics is coming on a bit strong.

On the meeting front: Dr Barry, mellin, Sean, elth, foe, Sama, Luca, spoon, GS, Jimmy, Taz, cearles, rushy, maz, Byron, Duke,Lee, pen, benny, Simon and phonics.

Not bad.

[Mellberg]

You, Sama, Kiko is my list. Kiko's wife is too good for him and the man's a 9/10 already. What a nice person even if she did accuse me of being a Manc.

I've probably spoken to Mellin with us both being Erdington lads but not knowingly.

I'm from the other side of town lad. Kings Norton, along with my mates Chamberlain and Enoch Powell.


I saw Mellin outside the Bristol Pear (where I worked as a chef as a student), but wasn't sure enough to know it was him to say anything. It was only afterwards on TD when he said he saw me that I knew for sure.

The next day, the bar staff told me that some pisshead was asking if the Man United fan was working in the kitchen.

Not sure if that counts.

He was like Sherlock that fucker. So many questions. Just point the man out ffs. Main thing I remember from that is after asking after you realising I'd no where else to go other than "I know him off the internetz", so just ended the conversation and walked off.

[Mellberg]

And I've met Kiko, Sean and Dr Barry. We all went on the piss. Was decent.

[Dark Soldier]

Was it Pavel who was the Cannes Mr Bigshot geez? He was a top lad.

[Baz]

I’ve met Mike and Dave Challoner.

Neither by choice.

[John Arne]

Who was the guy who it was discovered cheated A LOT whilst claiming to be the best FM player ever. I seem to remember Lulinha scoring 100 goals every season.

Can't for the life of me remember his name. He didn't come over to the off topic section often.

[Foe]

Indoctrin

[Ian]

Am I remembering rightly that he even stupidly tried to share a tactic that obviously didn't work if you weren't relentlessly savescumming?

[ItalAussie]

I've met Luca, and elth and I have been trying to sort something out. I've talked to Fry and Queenslander a lot on Facebook, and a few other people slightly less frequently.

I'm open to meetings if people ever find themselves in Sydney. I've known some of you for longer than some members of my immediate family.

[Queenslander]

I've met Luca, and elth and I have been trying to sort something out. I've talked to Fry and Queenslander a lot on Facebook, and a few other people slightly less frequently.

I'm open to meetings if people ever find themselves in Sydney. I've known some of you for longer than some members of my immediate family.

November 2008 was our first chat on messenger. :|

[Shindig]

If I can't sort a trip abroad this year I'll probably wind up down London for a bit.

[Kikó]

Shindig informal pint meet 2020.

[John]

Dr Barry is a decent addition to the weirdo list.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Who was the guy who it was discovered cheated A LOT whilst claiming to be the best FM player ever. I seem to remember Lulinha scoring 100 goals every season.

Can't for the life of me remember his name. He didn't come over to the off topic section often.

I got him during an FM comp we were running where it was a half season challenge or whatever in Spain and you had to upload the save. He uploaded his suspiciously easy results and I found that he had edited the Real Madrid defenders to have terrible stats. Some effort really.

[mugbull]

I got him during an FM comp we were running where it was a half season challenge or whatever in Spain and you had to upload the save. He uploaded his suspiciously easy results and I found that he had edited the Real Madrid defenders to have terrible stats. Some effort really.

There was one FM competition where I took control of a Nigerian team, played a super attcking 4-2-2-2 and won nearly every game, then got accused of cheating because I saved the game before every match. Had proof that my laptop was crashing constantly, hence the constant saving, and you let me off the hook and then changed the rules for the next round. I still maintain that was 100% legit but given my fake identity at the time it looked suspicious af. The boy who cried wolf made an appearance

[Disco]

Didn't everyone do that? Standard practice on older versions.

[-james-]

There was the meet during the 2014 world cup that started with 5 a side at what I remember to be midday followed by a whole day's drinking. I remember Kiko, Raoul, Taz, SD and Hammer being there but I'm sure there must have been others. I think I fell asleep on a sofa at the pub during England 1 - 2 Italy.

Benny was there too actually. There was definitely a picture but it's presumably lost to the ages.

[Jimmy Floyd]

I sound like a generous commissioner. From memory I think IJ was on a massive anti-cheating crusade, would inform me who he decided was cheating, and left me to collect the evidence.

[Lewis]

Am I remembering rightly that he even stupidly tried to share a tactic that obviously didn't work if you weren't relentlessly savescumming?

The tactic was actually pretty decent. It's just that nobody was winning 17-0 with it.

[Lewis]

I sound like a generous commissioner. From memory I think IJ was on a massive anti-cheating crusade, would inform me who he decided was cheating, and left me to collect the evidence.

He got cocky with San Marino. I was happy to believe that you could play in the Brazilian league for long enough to build up a squad that hammered everybody, because we all got to those points with big European teams; but didn't he win Euro 2012 and then everything beyond with San Marino? Entering competitions was obviously fatal, but he had lost the dressing room beforehand.

[John]

I never understood why he took the cheating to such ludicrous extremes.

[Spikey M]

He was a Harrold alias by the sound of it.

[Kikó]

There was the meet during the 2014 world cup that started with 5 a side at what I remember to be midday followed by a whole day's drinking. I remember Kiko, Raoul, Taz, SD and Hammer being there but I'm sure there must have been others. I think I fell asleep on a sofa at the pub during England 1 - 2 Italy.

Benny was there too actually. There was definitely a picture but it's presumably lost to the ages.

I'll dig some out.

[Kikó]

I'll dig some out.
https://i.ibb.co/THqKHkc/IMG-20200202-WA0003.jpg (https://ibb.co/THqKHkc) https://i.ibb.co/t875fn4/IMG-20200202-WA0004.jpg (https://ibb.co/t875fn4) https://i.ibb.co/BzKkz7Y/IMG-20200202-WA0002.jpg (https://ibb.co/BzKkz7Y) https://i.ibb.co/FhhJcT4/IMG-20200202-WA0005.jpg (https://ibb.co/FhhJcT4)

[Don]

6 years. Fuck me, that's a beautiful walk down memory lane.

Edit: Who was the guy next to Benny...John something? Top lad.

[John Arne]

He was a Harrold alias by the sound of it.

I used to think that.

[Waffdon]

I can’t believe it’s been 6 years since that 5 a side thing. I’d have said 3/4 at most. Sheeesh

[Baz]

Is rushie still here?

[The Merse]

Met Toby (his head really is that big) and AE (does not look like a footballer).

[Spikey M]

AE :cool:

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Albert_Edward_(soccer)

I wonder if he's had any clubs since 2014 or has had to knock the whole thing on the head.

[bruhnaldo]

I checked for him on FotMob but no dice :(

[John Arne]

The livestream of the game against Des Moines was so good. And, he played well.

[Baz]

AE works in some kind of property leasing in America.

[Giggles]

I've just watched the new Horizon episode and the bit about what this does to your lungs has just made me think that the 'Flu' that me and my mrs had in January could have been this. It had already crossed my mind, but it just matches up so well.

I know it shares alot of symptoms with the Flu, including the potential to give people Pneumonia, but my wife had to have an x-ray on her chest because hers wasn't clearing up and the dr commented on it being odd that there were 'cloudy patches' all over her lungs and wanted to admit her then. Apparently that is odd, but not unknown, with Pneumonia following the Flu.

Still odds on that it was the Flu, but christ I hope we've had it.

You can get it again can’t you? Or at least nobody knows that you can’t.

[Spikey M]

You can get it again can’t you? Or at least nobody knows that you can’t.

Unknown I think, bit wrong fucking thread anyway. Fuck sake.

[Giggles]

We’re all weirdos so this covers everything.

[niko_cee]

The talk of the Barcelona weirdo upthread made me think of someone the attack blaugrana - was that a person on here or was that a custom status someone used back when those things existed?

[randomlegend]

You can get it again can’t you? Or at least nobody knows that you can’t.

There's no credible reports of reinfection and attempts to reinfect monkeys failed.

[Giggles]

There's no credible reports of reinfection and attempts to reinfect monkeys failed.

But nobody really knows yet. Same as everything else about this.

[randomlegend]

But nobody really knows yet. Same as everything else about this.

It's not that straightforward; we know a lot about this coronavirus because we know a lot about coronaviruses in general. No we don't know all the specifics yet but it's not like this is some completely new thing from space we know nothing about. The fact there's no credible reports of reinfection is positive. I don't claim to be keeping up to date with the bleeding edge of the research, but everything I've seen written by virologists so far says we should be confident about getting a good vaccine.

[Giggles]

It's not that straightforward; we know a lot about this coronavirus because we know a lot about coronaviruses in general. No we don't know all the specifics yet but it's not like this is some completely new thing from space we know nothing about. The fact there's no credible reports of reinfection is positive. I don't claim to be keeping up to date with the bleeding edge of the research, but everything I've seen written by virologists so far says we should be confident about getting a good vaccine.

That’s all you needed there. Things are either known or they’re not, and in nearly everything to do with this they’re not.

[randomlegend]

I mean, not really, but OK.

I'll try to explain it to you I guess.

If you've seen 10 similar things before which all react a certain way to a certain intervention, then the 11th similar thing is likely to react in a similar way to similar interventions. In this case we know things which are true about previous coronaviruses so we know there are things which are likely to be true about this one too, which helps guide you on where to start. Some of those things which were true for other coronaviruses might turn out not to be true for this one, but it's incredibly likely some of them will be.

If you have a brand new thing which you've never seen anything similar to before, you don't know what is likely to be true about it so you have to start completely from scratch.

[Giggles]

You know or you don’t. If you kind of maybe know, then you still don’t.

[Waffdon]

The livestream of the game against Des Moines was so good. And, he played well.

One of the great TTH moments.

[Spikey M]

You're applying a standard of knowledge to this that you wouldn't to pretty much anything else.

[randomlegend]

You know or you don’t. If you kind of maybe know, then you still don’t.

If you are playing football manager as a team you've never played as before, do you have absolutely no idea what formation will work? Or do you know 4-4-2 is likely to work better than 0-0-10 because of your experience playing football manager with other teams?

If someone invented a new sport and asked you to manage a new team, would it be harder to know what the best tactic for your team is than the football example or easier?

That's the difference (and if you can't understand that then you're braindead).