April..... well, not football [FOOTBALL]

[Mike]

Ughhh will we have to listen to how they’re a MASSIVE CLUB if they’re taken over.

[Gray Fox]

They are a massive club waiting to happen.

[Raoul Duke]

Rafa to the Toon and then Mourinho to Sunderland :nodd:

[Lofty]

Supposedly Arsenal are in the shit based on our sustainable financial model relying on matchday revenue so Kroenke might bin us off and let Nigeria's richest man save the day.

[Shindig]

Shola Ameobi's Arsenal. :cool:

[Lewis]

Newcastle are a small club with a big stadium. I don't simply mean that they fail the normal 'Big Club' test because they haven't ever won anything, but think about where they are. Newcastle is a comparatively small urban area; nobody lives in the rest of Northumberland; and County Durham is one of them football wastelands like Norfolk and the scone zone, where the bit that does like football is Sunderland (another nothing club with an out-sized stadium). I suppose you can do anything with human rights abuse money these days, so I'm not saying they won't ever become successful, but this idea that they are some sort of sleeping giant has no basis. If I was looking to piss money all over a football club I would find it hard to look beyond Leeds.

[The Merse]

Supposedly Arsenal are in the shit based on our sustainable financial model relying on matchday revenue so Kroenke might bin us off and let Nigeria's richest man save the day.

Wishful thinking I'd venture, from those who think Dangote is a better option than KSE, which he may be, but he's postured on the subject for about 4 years now and keeps mentioning 'projects' getting in the way.

Swiss Ramble is the best follow on our (and PL in general) finances around, he's got us as losing big (74% revenues) but it's nothing as drastic as elsewhere... Big thread to look through -

https://twitter.com/SwissRamble

Also, what the 'self sustaining' model has to with it I don't get really... Every club is losing here. It's lazy stuff.

[Offshore Toon]

Més que un grande club.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Newcastle are a small club with a big stadium. I don't simply mean that they fail the normal 'Big Club' test because they haven't ever won anything, but think about where they are. Newcastle is a comparatively small urban area; nobody lives in the rest of Northumberland; and County Durham is one of them football wastelands like Norfolk and the scone zone, where the bit that does like football is Sunderland (another nothing club with an out-sized stadium). I suppose you can do anything with human rights abuse money these days, so I'm not saying they won't ever become successful, but this idea that they are some sort of sleeping giant has no basis. If I was looking to piss money all over a football club I would find it hard to look beyond Leeds.

Exactly. They're a bit like Scotland, huge in their own loving eyes but irrelevant to everyone else.

[Offshore Toon]

You're such a tory.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Good.

[Shindig]

Newcastle are a small club with a big stadium. I don't simply mean that they fail the normal 'Big Club' test because they haven't ever won anything, but think about where they are. Newcastle is a comparatively small urban area; nobody lives in the rest of Northumberland; and County Durham is one of them football wastelands like Norfolk and the scone zone, where the bit that does like football is Sunderland (another nothing club with an out-sized stadium). I suppose you can do anything with human rights abuse money these days, so I'm not saying they won't ever become successful, but this idea that they are some sort of sleeping giant has no basis. If I was looking to piss money all over a football club I would find it hard to look beyond Leeds.

Man Utd and Liverpool are brands. Newcastle and Sunderland are cults.

[ScousePig]

Newcastle are a small club with a big stadium. I don't simply mean that they fail the normal 'Big Club' test because they haven't ever won anything, but think about where they are. Newcastle is a comparatively small urban area; nobody lives in the rest of Northumberland; and County Durham is one of them football wastelands like Norfolk and the scone zone, where the bit that does like football is Sunderland (another nothing club with an out-sized stadium). I suppose you can do anything with human rights abuse money these days, so I'm not saying they won't ever become successful, but this idea that they are some sort of sleeping giant has no basis. If I was looking to piss money all over a football club I would find it hard to look beyond Leeds.

As with everything else, some people overestimate the size of the clubs and some people underestimate them. The out sized stadium comments are fair, but 'never won anything' isn't unless you only count back certain years. I'm biased but I usually view Sunderland and Newcastle as slight underachievers with lots of potential, but not exactly 'sleeping giants'. Others would rightly argue that neither club have won anything in 50 years.

Leeds would be a good bet, and there's been talk of takeovers there for a while too, but I'm not sure what makes them a better proposition than Newcastle. Similar size club and fan base really.

[Lewis]

Leeds potentially have a relatively populous area all to themselves, a ready-made rivalry with an established club to HYPE up for broadcasting, and a much better historical brand for all of the football 'eritage jumble (that white strip would be perfect for that). From a blood-soaked cash injection perspective the city is also a much better bet for the sort of bent off the field activities that have accompanied Manchester City. Abu Dhabi have their bum-wiping fingers in all sorts of dodgy Mancunian property business, the in to which has obviously been their football involvement, so some human rights abuser could clean up on development there.

[Waffdon]

Chelsea and City blood money to fund them but they’re the only two clubs who seems to be doing remotely anything to help with everything ongoing at the minute.

Newcastle should be welcomed with their blood money.

[Jimmy Floyd]

We aren't that rich, Abramovich is. God knows how we're funding 78,000 shepherd's pies or whatever it is unless he's dipped his hand in his pocket.

The other clubs are probably all fearing death, even the big ones.

[Mellberg]

We have put a few sandwiches the other day so hopefully we're alright.

[CJay]

Anyone watching the World Cup Rewind show on BBC? Thoroughly enjoyed Brazil-France from Mexico ‘86 on the latest one. It involved a lot of famous players who I’ve never actually seen play before. Lol at the Brazil keep fouling the French forward and not getting penalised at all.

Such a different game even back then.

Out of interest - if a penalty hits the post and bounces back in off the keeper should it count?

[Shindig]

Yes. It must've happened in a shootout at least once.

[Ian]

Yeah that'd definitely count. It's basically live until the ball goes dead or it's signalled by an official or whatever. Hence those ones where it hits the bar and bounces out and back in and what-not. I'm sure there's a variant of one of those where the goalie touched it first too.

[CJay]

It was in that Brazil-France shootout, hence the question. The commentator asked too.

[Danny]

Like so


https://youtu.be/c00b3876vHE

[John Arne]

I thought the rule changes that during a penalty shootout the ball is dead as soon as it travels back in the takers direction. I may have dreamed that. Yeah, if the ball bounces of the post and goes in off the keeper .. surely must count, instinctly.

[John Arne]

More importantly, football here expected to return 14th May - behind closed doors.

[niko_cee]

There was an idea that the penalty shoot-out rules be extended to regular in-game penalties - ie the ball being dead if saved/hits post, so no rebounds - but it didn't come about. At the time I thought it was a mad idea, but I really fucking hate rebounds (seems so unfair when the taker gets to tap it in) and encroachment generally so maybe the mad people were onto something. Has it been mentioned that the stupid handball rule is allowed to be changed whenever football resumes again? I guess they'll have to stick with it for the rest of the current season if it ever sees the light of day again, but then hopefully that will be that.

[ScousePig]

Leeds potentially have a relatively populous area all to themselves, a ready-made rivalry with an established club to HYPE up for broadcasting, and a much better historical brand for all of the football 'eritage jumble (that white strip would be perfect for that). From a blood-soaked cash injection perspective the city is also a much better bet for the sort of bent off the field activities that have accompanied Manchester City. Abu Dhabi have their bum-wiping fingers in all sorts of dodgy Mancunian property business, the in to which has obviously been their football involvement, so some human rights abuser could clean up on development there.

Yeah, but Leeds is a rugby town.

[Lewis]

It's big enough to cover both (even Hull and Wigan managed it), and all of the other Yorkshire teams being crap would help too. There were loads of Leeds fans around when I was at school and Hull City were nowhere, and I don't even know what league Bradford are in these days, so you can count the white people left there in. The only impenetrable rugby area would be that square of inbreeding that fences off Castleford, Pontefract, Featherstone and Normanton.

[John Arne]

Phil Neville has been questioned for not calling a player who hadn't played for England for 3 year and having a good chat with her. She played 2 games in a meaningless tournament in 2015. Phil Neville took the England job in 2018


“Phil’s not spoken to me once,” says the softly spoken Spence, with no anger but a tinge of disappointment. “To not be given that chance makes me question: ‘Is it because of what happened?’ I think it is because of what happened, if I’m totally honest.”


Nathanial Clyne should be calling out Southgate pronto.

https://www.theguardian.com/football/2020/apr/17/drew-spence-phils-not-spoken-to-me-once-is-it-because-of-what-happened

[Smjffy]

Anyone know what Southampton's Yan Valery is supposed to have done?

Well....


https://i.imgur.com/iCWy6vy.jpg

That's beyond shitty.

[Gray Fox]

Anyone know what Southampton's Yan Valery is supposed to have done?

Allegedly he bought an abortion pill online and spiked his pregnant girlfriends drink with it to try and get rid. It caused complications and deformities but didn't kill the fetus. The baby died not long after birth instead.

[Shindig]

Okay, I was gonna go with breaking lockdown rules but that's a step above.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Fucking hell.

[Lewis]

That must be some sort of major criminal offence.

[Shindig]

It's attempted murder or GBH, depending on how the French decide life starts.

[Smjffy]

In the interest of fairness (not that that'll exist now it's out in the open) but reading some comments on Twitter and one chap suggests the Mrs is bipolar and could be making it up. Just to add a bit more meat to the story. I bet he's glad the stadiums will be empty.

[Don]

Waffs just tweeted 'Haha what a lad' too.

[Waffdon]

I’ll wait for the right time.

[Don]

https://www.bbc.co.uk/sport/football/52347927

This is genius.

[Andy]

It's attempted murder or GBH, depending on how the French decide life starts.

It was all in England.

[Andy]

In the interest of fairness (not that that'll exist now it's out in the open) but reading some comments on Twitter and one chap suggests the Mrs is bipolar and could be making it up. Just to add a bit more meat to the story. I bet he's glad the stadiums will be empty.

I saw this all unfold last week on Twitter, I dont want to defend him as if it's true he should be banged up for a long time.

There were conflicting tweets from the woman saying police had proof he had purchased the abortion pill online and also that they were looking for proof. Then also another post saying she was taking the NHS to court as she had sepsis for days and they hadnt picked up on it. It's all a big strange.

He hasnt played all season and until now no one really knew why, lots of rumours about attitude etc.

[Waffdon]

Is it even true? She seems a bit psycho going off her Facebook posts

[Raoul Duke]

The Nou Camp...won't be the Nou Camp for much longer :|

https://www.bbc.co.uk/sport/football/52371059


Barcelona did not have a shirt sponsor until 2010 when they signed a deal with the Qatar Foundation, although charity Unicef had appeared on their shirts from 2006.

[Lewis]

The Flu Camp.

[Shindig]

Mas Que Un Club just gets replaced with Wash Your Hands.

[Mellberg]

Look forward to them carrying on with that when coronavirus is a thing of the past, the horrible cunts.

[Jimmy Floyd]

El end delgado de la wedge.

[Lewis]

That Jose Mourinho shoot on Barcelona and UNICEF was probably his best ever moment.

[Jimmy Floyd]

lol at Newcastle fans welcoming their new dickhead overlords with fanatical glee, but also lol at Richard Keys and the Qataris losing their shit over it. All those states should be banned from the English game, but whatever.

[Smjffy]

BeIN Sports (https://www.theguardian.com/football/2020/apr/22/bein-sports-asks-premier-league-to-block-saudi-newcastle-deal-over-piracy?utm_term=Autofeed&CMP=twt_gu&utm_medium&utm_source=Twitter#Echobox=1587518603) have joined in too.

[Jimmy Floyd]

That's what I mean (they are just an arm of the Qatari state).

[phonics]

Uefa are drawing up regs for leagues that have to cancel. Uefa coefficient is mentioned which would put us in 4th.

[SvN]

Uefa are drawing up regs for leagues that have to cancel. Uefa coefficient is mentioned which would put us in 4th.

We'd be third somehow, ahead of Spurs and Chelsea.

https://www.uefa.com/memberassociations/uefarankings/club/#/yr/2020

[Lewis]

That sounds like the best/worst way possible to allocate things, so wahey let's get on it.

'Look, if we don't look after the Big Clubs...'

[Raoul Duke]

England are 4th in the World Rankings too :harold:

[niko_cee]

If they're going to be dolling out gongs based on spurious rankings, where better to look than the euro club index (https://www.euroclubindex.com/)?

[Yevrah]

A June resumption with the Euro final in August?

Is this with a view to fans travelling as normal by then?


No deadline has been put on making a final decision but the latter choice would seem more likely as it is hoped - by August - that travel restrictions will have eased.

If so, fucking rofl. They really do not get that their grubby little money soaked gravy train isn't just going to get back to normal.

[Jimmy Floyd]

I think it's more a case of just repeated postponement so they aren't liable in various contractual situations. Everything has an end date, though. If you were running things for the good of football, you would say game over and we'll have another go in September if we can.

Masses of football behind closed doors is about the least viable thing I can imagine.

[Shindig]

Okay, I'm warming to the idea of Liverpool being given the title under absolutely no ceremony. At best, with an open top bus parade on an empty bus. Through streets where the police presence is there to stop people gathering by the roadside.

[Smjffy]

Okay, I'm warming to the idea of Liverpool being given the title under absolutely no ceremony. At best, with an open top bus parade on an empty bus. Through streets where the police presence is there to stop people gathering by the roadside.

I'd rather not win it than to win it with the season incomplete but I sense there will no parade irrespective of what happens. I think if it does get voided then that's me and football done but then that's been coming for a while.

[Shindig]

What if the playing squad slowly follow the bus from a safe distance in their own separate cars? Like a procession.

[Smjffy]

Only if it's every living former Liverpool player in tow.

[Shindig]

Dalglish at the front of the queue. Not for the first time.

[Smjffy]

:drool: That's a vintage Shindig one liner.

[Waffdon]

Champions League not sorted by coefficient by the sounds of it then. Poor Arsenal.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Atletico Madrid Twitter (if one can find such a thing in the labyrinth of jajaja that makes up Spanish language twitter) will be absolutely seething with indignant fury.

[bruhnaldo]

You're saying they're not going to pick next year's CL based on coefficient? I hadn't heard they were considering that so I apologize if I'm literally just repeating what you wrote just wanted to be clear cause that kinda fucks United as well.

Edit: Though I don't think we deserve it or something I was just hoping to sneak in otherwise somehow cause I really thought we were making strides there toward the end.

[Jimmy Floyd]

The UEFA statement says in not so many words that the priority order should be:

1) finishing the domestic competitions if possible;
2) finishing the domestic competitions with some kind of shorter competition (presumably a playoff(s));
3) if no play possible, the national association decides qualification using a transparent process based on 19/20 sporting merit.

I can only imagine just what UEFA's definition of 'transparency' might be, but it probably involves women's clothing.

[Shindig]

I could really use that third option for some chaotic good.

[Lewis]

The World Cup Rewind was decent today. That John Mensah penalty against Uruguay has to be up there with the shittest ever taken.

[Baz]

Will Coronavirus be in FM next year?

[Foe]

Will Coronavirus be in FM next year?

I was thinking this actually, I wonder if someone has done this in the editor where they just postpone fixtures for 6-12 months and see what happens.

[Kikó]

I'm pretty sure I read Miles Jacobson come out to say they will not be including it.

[Foe]

I'm pretty sure I read Miles Jacobson come out to say they will not be including it.

Yeah doubt they’d include it as an official feature.

Can you simulate something like that in the editor though, and just see how the game reacts/responds?

[Smjffy]

I don't need no Covid to fuck up the FFP on FM.

[Don]

I unfortunately wasn't here to cover every last inch of this gaff with my love juice when Everton pulled off the Moise Kean signing. None of you know that I had him in my wildly succesful ff team for in excess of 10 GWs. So let me just put that aside and take advantage of my clean slate.

Remember those cunts who doubted Juve and called the Kean signing a massive coup? Hah.

[Lofty]

Yeah doubt they’d include it as an official feature.

Can you simulate something like that in the editor though, and just see how the game reacts/responds?

They should simulate the rest of the season from it's current status in FM and declare it the final standings.

[Spikey M]

1254802400407359488?s=19

[phonics]

1255117649467580420

I would take another Europa League run if they didn't give Liverpool the title. It'd just be too funny.

[Disco]

Trolling Liverpool out of the title would be an hilarious silver lining to all this.

[phonics]

Just realised we're in 9th. Wouldn't even have to do the Europa League.

[Don]

It's not ideal but we'll probably keep our UCL champions label and winning the next 3 league titles looks inevitable. Plus, imagine the scenes for the victory parade next summer, that would be a bit dulled if we were to win this year and have limited celebrations.

[Mellberg]

Didn't think we were gonna get the chance to wheel out the boom/bust cycle this year :drool:

[Don]

Hopefully they relegate the bottom three as things stand in the name of absolute fairness, too.

[Baz]

Plus, imagine the scenes for the victory parade next summer, that would be a bit dulled if we were to win this year and have limited celebrations.I’ll be there.

[Mellberg]

Hopefully they relegate the bottom three as things stand in the name of absolute fairness, too.

I'll take the hit for those salty tears.

[Don]

Oh I'll give you salty bodily fluids.

[bruhnaldo]

Man said win the next 3 titles like they haven't already peaked :drool:

[Don]

The big boys will barely be able to afford the merch in our front three/Alisson/VVD's online shop so unless Jurgen decides he needs to be closer to Germany's superior testing facilities, it's done brav.

[Lofty]

As if an act of God denying Liverpool the title won't be an even bigger hammerblow to their psyche.

[Disco]

Or give them just the thing they need to campaign about for thirty years.

[Jimmy Floyd]

The big boys will barely be able to afford the merch in our front three/Alisson/VVD's online shop so unless Jurgen decides he needs to be closer to Germany's superior testing facilities, it's done brav.

By the time we resume these guys will all be silver foxes and Klopp will be pushing up flowers (still with a massive grin on his face). I suppose Trent could do the experienced late-career-Cafu role at 39.

[Lofty]

I feel like any extended break favours the teams who need to overhaul their squads more than the teams who were playing well. Top players are likely planning their careers out with another big payday move to a top club in europe, which might be brought forward because they are losing playing time in real terms as the clock doesnt stop. If you thought you might do another season here then go you might think 'fuck staying a year longer than planned I'm 29!' Etc where if you're a club with a load of dross on the books and some contracts run out it's not the end of the world.

[Offshore Toon]

I wonder if post-Corona stats will become a thing if the break goes on for long enough.

[Lofty]

Now would be an excellent time for a football leaks-esque reveal of those players implicated in the Operacion Puerto doping case.

[phonics]

Him being in jail might be an issue. Them having already burnt all the blood bags so there's no proof would be another.

[Lofty]

The doctor knows the names though. Didn't he offer to reveal them in court and the judge was like 'nah it's alright'?

[Smjffy]

As if an act of God denying Liverpool the title won't be an even bigger hammerblow to their psyche.

I don't think anything is going to get in the way of that now purely because of the ££ and potential shit storm it would bring so * or not, we'll win the title some how.

I don't really care all too much either way at this point, I'd settle for watching a Sunday league match, just some proper sport will do.