The Coffee Survey

[Luca]

This probably deserves its own thread, given how wrong some people (Mahow) are, how ubiquitous a drink coffee is, and how much caffeine I've been drinking to stay sane.

Go on then.

[Kikó]

Fruity berry stuff is pure wank.

Pass it on.

[Lee]

Coffee is awful you fucking inbreds.

[Luca]

Knew Lee was a nonce.

[Luca]

Fruity berry stuff is pure wank.

Pass it on.

I'm onside with this view; I can see how people like the fruity stuff, but I prefer chocolatey coffee. This usually means I buy South American vs. African beans.

[Offshore Toon]

I've had loads of coffees that are supposedly 'amazing' by coffee snobs and I think I still prefer stuff like Nescafé Azera. Anybody getting excited about coffee is probably shit, anyway. Green tea wins on both elitism and health.

[John Arne]

Two ca phe sua da's (iced-coffee with milk) every morning, a latte in the afternoon if I'm feeling fruity.

[Lewis]

Hot drinks are rubbish.

[Luca]

Two ca phe sua da's (iced-coffee with milk) every morning, a latte in the afternoon if I'm feeling fruity.

Vietnamese iced coffee is wonderful, although I prefer regular milk to condensed.

[Spikey M]

Coffee, as per Lewis' Hot Drinks Theorum, is also shit.

HOWEVER, Coffee flavoured things are not. Tiramisu :drool:

[SincereTheRebel]

I don't drink coffee at all. Chocolate tea is far superior. Even english tea is better than coffee. Coffee has a really bad after taste and your breath suffers once you drink it.

[Giggles]

Espressos at home all the time. When I’m out working and in the petrol stations for lunch I buy the short black in Insomnia or an Americano in McDonalds. A drop of milk in both of the latter.

[Shindig]

I don't mind coffee but I only ever drink it if I'm in a hotel room.

[mugbull]

Someone should make a Coffee vs Tea survey

[Offshore Toon]

Coffee, as per Lewis' Hot Drinks Theorum, is also shit.

HOWEVER, Coffee flavoured things are not. Tiramisu :drool:
Coffee ice cream is pretty fantastic.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Coffee (including flavoured stuffs) is vile. The smell alone makes me gag.

[Kikó]

What the fuck is chocolate tea?

[Jimmy Floyd]

I like all of it, but my staple is instant. I keep some Illy filter stuff at home if I'm feeling fancy dan, and I'll have whatever when I'm out.

I can't be my best self without at least a couple of cups a day. I think the coffee snobs are people who maybe drink it a lot less than I do. Instant is great stuff and does a job.

[bruhnaldo]

do yourselves a favor and pick some of this up if they have it over there:

https://221khl3h8h781683yx3gqbls-wpengine.netdna-ssl.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/10/cafe-bustelo-logo-300x175.png

[Baz]

Coffee is awful you fucking inbreds.Yep.

Smells almost as bad as it tastes too. :sick:

[Giggles]

Italian espressos are by far the best too.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Yep.

Smells almost as bad as it tastes too. :sick:

Your best post ever.

[Lewis]

When Floyd and annoying women say things like 'I need coffee', is that a genuine chemical dependency that has built up through consuming it, or some sort of learned behaviour socialised wank?

[Jimmy Floyd]

When Floyd and annoying women say things like 'I need coffee', is that a genuine chemical dependency that has built up through consuming it, or some sort of learned behaviour socialised wank?

I don't NEED it, but my brain operates much better for its presence.

[Boydy]

You can get caffeine withdrawals, yes.

[Luca]

Italian espressos are by far the best too.

I’m agreeing with Giggles on a food-related post?

[igor_balis]

If i'm out, I like a ristretto or an espresso. At home I'll have a nice big cafetiere in the morning.

I am a big convert to sugar in coffee, though. Super strong dark coffee and brown sugar is quality. White sugar just makes it taste artificially sweet I reckon, but brown sugar is boss. It sorta makes my breakfast coffee a sorta pseudo-dessert.

[Giggles]

I’m agreeing with Giggles on a food-related post?

This one can’t be argued.

[Pen]

Yeah, espressos all the way, but at home we use french press and buy decent quality coffee. The brands are probably different to the ones most familiar in the UK so I won’t bore you with those. The UK is dogshit for coffee mind you, so that’s not a bad thing.

[igor_balis]

My mum always gets illy, and as a sneery indie loser I always moaned at her to get some independent boutique shit, but having tried loads of expensive "SUPER STRONG" beans/ground coffee, I had to begrudgingly agree that it is pretty great. Can get that proper rich depth of flavour without having to use shit loads.

[Kikó]

Italian espressos are by far the best too.

Portuguese are decent as well.

[Giggles]

Portuguese are decent as well.

God yes. One of my best mates used to bring me into a Portuguese run cafe in Portadown before we played golf for years and the espresso was amazing.

[Kikó]

They can't do long coffees but that Delta stuff they use is brilliant.

[Lewis]

I don't NEED it, but my brain operates much better for its presence.

Grow up mate.

[Luca]

Portuguese are decent as well.

The coffee in Lisbon was fantastic, yes. The Spanish are pretty good at it too.

The less said about the French, the better.

[Clunge]

If I'm at home, stove-top Bialetti pot.

If I'm out for a meal, espresso after dinner.

If I'm just out and about, small flat white, sometimes with extra shot.

[Luca]

Struggling to understand how Lewis got through a Ph.D in History without hot, caffeinated drinks.

He’ll say “superior genetics” or something, but that’s baffling.

[Clunge]

They can't do long coffees but that Delta stuff they use is brilliant.
Delta is fucking amazing. Easily my favourite coffee.

[Luca]

Oh, another (potentially unpopular) opinion:

People who have coffee with milk after lunchtime are an abomination.

[Kikó]

Alright Italy, wind it in.

[mugbull]

Pouring hot water over a coffee filter is “fancy dan”. The more you know

[Jimmy Floyd]

I'm under attack from the man-children and the snobs all at once, it's like being Tony Blair.

[Giggles]

Oh, another (potentially unpopular) opinion:

People who have coffee with milk after lunchtime are an abomination.

I have my coffee whenever I can get my coffee. Which one I get dictates the need for milk.

[Luca]

A splash is probably fine, but my girlfriend has a cappuccino after dinner. It’s a meal ffs.

[Kikó]

Evenings mean espresso. 1pm you can have a flat white or cappucino imo.

[Lewis]

Struggling to understand how Lewis got through a Ph.D in History without hot, caffeinated drinks.

He’ll say “superior genetics” or something, but that’s baffling.

It's sitting about reading and thinking. Who can't physically cope with that?

[Luca]

It's sitting about reading and thinking. Who can't physically cope with that?

Caffeine helps with mental alertness, not physical strength.

[Lewis]

I'm obviously operating at about half capacity.

[Pepe]

Add me to the "don't drink coffee" list, which seems to overlap with the "forum dons" list quite well.

[Luca]

My mum always gets illy, and as a sneery indie loser I always moaned at her to get some independent boutique shit, but having tried loads of expensive "SUPER STRONG" beans/ground coffee, I had to begrudgingly agree that it is pretty great. Can get that proper rich depth of flavour without having to use shit loads.

Illy and Lavazza are lovely, from one "sneery indie loser" (at least when it comes to coffee) to another. Crack on.

[niko_cee]

Oh, another (potentially unpopular) opinion:

People who have coffee with milk after lunchtime are an abomination.

Coffee after lunchtime is just wrong, full stop.

As for an after dinner espresso, if you're hellbent on having a massive stimulant at that time of day at least have the decency to stick a sedative/depressant in with it.

[Giggles]

Add me to the "don't drink coffee" list, which seems to overlap with the "forum dons" list quite well.

And then you ruined it.

[Luca]

Coffee after lunchtime is just wrong, full stop.

As for an after dinner espresso, if you're hellbent on having a massive stimulant at that time of day at least have the decency to stick a sedative/depressant in with it.

I find an after-dinner espresso helps settle the stomach. Mind you, I'm a 3-4 espresso per day person, so I'll have them at all hours.

[Jimmy Floyd]

You could just replace all your posts in this thread with 'I am Italian'.

[Giggles]

And he’s not even remotely is he?

[Jimmy Floyd]

I think there's a fair bit of ragu in the veins.

[Giggles]

I’d have said American or Canadian in a table quiz.

[Luca]

Parents were born and raised there and I’m a dual citizen. :nodd:

[Giggles]

I’ve aunts and uncles that moved to
England that have also married Irish, and their kids are about as Irish as Nick Griffin.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Are coffee wankers the worst sort of wankers?

[Spikey M]

I’ve aunts and uncles that moved to
England that have also married Irish, and their kids are about as Irish as Nick Griffin.

Yeah, but Americans (and Canadians with the French stuff) are obsessive about heritage. Probably because as Americans they have none of their own. That's why half of Boston will proclaim themselves proud Irishmen despite the fact that nobody in their family has been there since their Great Grandfather got on the boat.

[Luca]

I’ve aunts and uncles that moved to
England that have also married Irish, and their kids are about as Irish as Nick Griffin.

I have "Italian" mates who are about as Italian as Xi Jinping as well. It depends.

[Giggles]

Yeah, but Americans (and Canadians with the French stuff) are obsessive about heritage. Probably because as Americans they have none of their own. That's why half of Boston will proclaim themselves proud Irishmen despite the fact that nobody in their family has been there since their Great Grandfather got on the boat.

They’re some doses when they do come here too.

[Giggles]

I have "Italian" mates who are about as Italian as Xi Jinping as well. It depends.

Fair enough. Heritage is good.

[CJay]

I assume the gourmet option means using a french press / stove top? If so, that's me. I prefer to get fresh beans and grind them myself, but I really need to invest in a proper burr grinder. I have one of those terrible electric grinders that just obliterates the coffee, which isn't ideal. Never with milk.

Stovetop is the best but it's more of a faff.

Oh, and double espresso > dessert when you're out for dinner.

[Luca]

CJay > Mahow any time of day.

[Spikey M]

They’re some doses when they do come here too.

When we went to Dublin we did the obligatory Irish Whiskey Museum tour. It was awful. At the start we had to introduce ourselves to the group. It was 3/4 yanks. Including a fella that was 'Straight outta Boston, Home of the Irish! Yeah!'. *silence and blank smiles filled the room*

The tour ended with a whiskey sampling. 6 glasses each. My wife doesn't like it, so I had 12. It still wasn't enough to take the edge off.

[Queenslander]

Go to is a flat white with 2 shots but I have a pod machine at home now as I prefer to save money.

I cant really go into the speciallity coffee places anymore. I really despise hipsters and fake hippies these days :mad:

[Josh]

Put me in with the hate coffee crew. I love the smell though but still hate anything tasting of coffee. It's a shame as it takes the majority of a full genre of beer out and I'm the biggest beer wanker you've ever seen.

My wife though loves the shit. Makes us go here to pick out our beans. Full coffee wanker but I'm definitely snobbier about beer.

http://sqdte9mbh615zsvesmkh1eyq.wpengine.netdna-cdn.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/08/St-Marks-40-1-Porto-Rico-Importing-TA04.jpg

[Luca]

Put me in with the hate coffee crew. I love the smell though but still hate anything tasting of coffee. It's a shame as it takes the majority of a full genre of beer out and I'm the biggest beer wanker you've ever seen.

My wife though loves the shit. Makes us go here to pick out our beans. Full coffee wanker but I'm definitely snobbier about beer.

http://sqdte9mbh615zsvesmkh1eyq.wpengine.netdna-cdn.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/08/St-Marks-40-1-Porto-Rico-Importing-TA04.jpg

And to think we were becoming friends :nono:

[igor_balis]

Oh, and double espresso > dessert when you're out for dinner.

Affogato is the dream.

[Kikó]

Best thing we ever did was buy a De'Longhi Magnifica for the house. Amazon let me pay in installments as well so it was only a £50 hit a month.

Fuck your french press.

[Mike]

Big coffee fan. Didn't used to be though.

I'm happy to drink a decent instant, either before or during work. At weekends I tend to use a french press with ground coffee, I do have a bean grinder somewhere, but never really bothered with it. I also have a little Morphy Richards thing, that makes a single cup from ground coffee, it's decent enough for mornings like today where I fancy a proper one, but can't be bothered faffing.

[CJay]

I’m basically sworn off instant now. Never had one that tasted nice. Tbh, If coffee supplies were ever hit by Coronavirus then I think I’d just go off it rather than drink instant.

[Serj]

I'll drink any coffee, not because I really like them, but it has developed into a form of habit. Plus I do crave it if I don't have a cup or two per day. We usually have some sort of "gourmet shit" at home though and make it with an AeroPress, which is quite practical.

My girlfriend is a former 'barista' and has some strong opinions on the stuff, with her former colleagues being even worse. I don't really get enthusiasm about hot drinks, be it coffee or tea. There's definitely better and worse, but even the best cup of coffee/tea that I've ever had is at best a 7/10 compared to other drinks. A good cup of hot chocolate beats either, so maybe the self-declared artisanal people should get on a "third wave of cocoa".