Coronavirus Death Thread

[John]

You got the wrong weirdo that demanded they were banned for their own good.

Hammer didn't demand to be banned, did he? As I remember he went bonkers when I changed his name to Spammer and got banned for some racism.

Unless he asked for that lol Gavel account to be banned.

[Boydy]

6 week year old died in America after testing positive

A what

[Spikey M]

One and a half month year old. :(

[Giggles]

Just watched some news. That should be enough of a reminder not to for at least 4 or 5 days.

[Spikey M]

Just watched some news. That should be enough of a reminder not to for at least 4 or 5 days.

I've not watched it for about a week now. I watch the Press Conference each evening in case they announce an immediate SUPER-LOCKDOWN and I have to run up the road for emergency beers, but I normally know whether it's worth bothering with within the first 30 seconds.

[niko_cee]

As a counterbalance to the 42 dayweekmonthyearold dying, the care home we've managed to get it into (during lockdown) has 16 inmates and 11 staff with it apparently, most of whom had no real symptoms and only one of which is even in hospital, and not requiring critical care. I thought we might be in danger of bothering San Marino in the worldometer death per million stakes but, at the moment, it would seem not. For full disclosure an 80 year old comorbiditite did die, although I don't know if they were in the home.

[phonics]

1245469969284050945

He's just trying to be a parody at this point right? Chris Morris would say it was too brazen.

[Boydy]

1245467940390133760

Is that good

[phonics]

It's almost like the UK and the US did something about it 2 weeks after everyone else.

[Bernanke]

Is that good

Means you're winning.

[Spoonsky]

I'm watching a Trump press conference for the first time in four years. It truly is pure stream of consciousness.

"Many great books written about the 1917-1918 pandemic..."

[Boydy]

Don't worry though, Peston's on the case with his tough, no-nonsense journalism:

1245469969284050945

[Yevrah]

The FT need to stop with that shit.

Italy and Spain also had days at this point where "every day brought more new deaths than the last".

I wouldn't mind (as I think we moved to late), but they continually change the X axis to be whatever makes it look as bad as possible.

[Bernanke]

I'm watching a Trump press conference for the first time in four years. It truly is pure stream of consciousness.

"Many great books written about the 1917-1918 pandemic..."

Big beautiful dollars.

[Lewis]

Even as they all flop around being crap, Peston is easily having the worst tournament. I would imagine it comes down to whose 'sources' have suddenly become the most useless, but it all more than vindicates everything me and phonics have ever said about him being a fundamentally useless cunt.

[Don]

I was always quite handy at Angry Birds and by my eye that looks like UK/US/meaningful caucasian deaths should peak in the next two weeks tops. That's two more weeks of fearmongering BS until people can put down their boners and recalibrate. If I'm not balls deep in daily train tickets amd hookers come the first week of June I'll be astounded.

[Spoonsky]

I was always quite handy at Angry Birds and by my eye that looks like UK/US/meaningful caucasian deaths should peak in the next two weeks tops.

:D

dots

[Queenslander]

I have a bad feeling that more people are going to die offshore on cruise ships than on mainland Australia.



https://www.9news.com.au/national/coronavirus-cruise-ships-covid-19-infections-pose-big-health-risk/d49341db-274e-45a4-ac38-eacd313dacb9

[Lewis]

It's what they would have wanted.

[Queenslander]

:lol:

[Mellberg]

Fucking Angry Birds :lol:

[Mellberg]

I'm watching a Trump press conference for the first time in four years. It truly is pure stream of consciousness.

"Many great books written about the 1917-1918 pandemic..."

I like a lol at Trump as much as the next man, and love watching his conferences, although I wish he'd spotted something the other day. All the journalists were (rightly) giving him a hard time over his response to the virus. Then, once he walked off, they all left their intentionally spaced out seats and started chatting away and wanking each other off from about half a yard. Would've liked him to have clocked it and called them out. Shame.

[Spoonsky]

The thing is that Trump, at least in his speech, has finally got his head around the fact that this virus is a big deal and requires drastic measures. He's just a couple weeks of complete bullshit too late.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/entertainment-arts-52117797

K-pop star Kim Jaejoong has apologised for posting on Instagram that he was in hospital having contracted Covid-19, admitting it was an April fool's joke.

lol.

[John Arne]

Although just a blogger, this is a good read on the VN response.

https://hackernoon.com/what-the-west-can-learn-from-vietnams-response-to-covid-19-nt1zi32jl

[Shindig]

China has approved the use of bear bile to treat critically ill coronavirus patients.

The National Health Commission has recommended the use of Tan Re Qing - an injection that contains bear bile, goat horn and herbs - to treat patients with Covid-19.

But there is no evidence the mixture has any medicinal value.

#BearFlu2022

[Ian]

The rhinos will just be glad they're getting a break.

[Spikey M]

What we really need is Pangolin and Bat Jizz. Let's fuck this virus to death.

[thommo]

So one of our main supervisors in a production area is now off isolating for 2 weeks - showing symptoms and coughing a lot. I was with him and 4 others on Tuesday carrying out a safety certification for a new piece of equipment so who knows if I've managed to get it.

What really grates is that the dopey old twat has decided to pop in and pick up a laptop so he can carry on working at home when possible. He's spluttering and coughing over in reception - why hasn't he stayed home and why hasn't the company just locked him out the building?

[Magic]

950 for Spain.

[Jimmy Floyd]

So one of our main supervisors in a production area is now off isolating for 2 weeks - showing symptoms and coughing a lot. I was with him and 4 others on Tuesday carrying out a safety certification for a new piece of equipment so who knows if I've managed to get it.

What really grates is that the dopey old twat has decided to pop in and pick up a laptop so he can carry on working at home when possible. He's spluttering and coughing over in reception - why hasn't he stayed home and why hasn't the company just locked him out the building?

Because they don't care.

I just had the awful bitch shipping manager (who has actually face turned into a hero during all this) castigating the MD for allowing 2 previously self-isolated managers to come back into the office next Monday. His brain was on the point of melting in refusing to process the argument, and he stormed out almost in tears with frustration. It's all about business and their place in the business.

[7om]

What we really need is Pangolin and Bat Jizz. Let's fuck this virus to death.

Sounds like some shit Magic would watch.

[Ian]

Because they don't care.

I just had the awful bitch shipping manager (who has actually face turned into a hero during all this) castigating the MD for allowing 2 previously self-isolated managers to come back into the office next Monday. His brain was on the point of melting in refusing to process the argument, and he stormed out almost in tears with frustration. It's all about business and their place in the business.

Is he capable of dealing with any conversation that isn't just people telling him "Great idea, boss!" He sounds like the most easily intimidated man in the world.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Is he capable of dealing with any conversation that isn't just people telling him "Great idea, boss!" He sounds like the most easily intimidated man in the world.

Nope. He's one of those people who's a good administrator/organiser of pieces on the chess board, but absolutely despises conflict and cannot adapt his methods to changing circumstances. Sort of MarginBot3000.

You'd want him sorting out the army rations but you wouldn't want him anywhere near the trenches.

[Yevrah]

I always wanted to be much better at the people piece, but if this experience has taught me one thing so far, it's that I'm not that bad at it already.

[igor_balis]

Whoops. Sorry LR and Hammerstein.

LR, got me into The The by making me listen to uncertain smile. Hammer, sincerely asked me if I wanted to watch David icke with him and sent me a photo of a dead woman.

[Jimmy Floyd]

I'm convinced I will be a good manager one day. I already am in the sporting arena, and although business is a bit different, all it actually requires is a basic combination of brain/heart in the right proportions at the right times. It's not some ancient runes that only a select few can crack. The thing I will need to improve before I get there is being a bit less soft and more hard-headed when required.

This virus is, with great haste, teaching us all a lot about ourselves and each other.

[Yaysus]

1245467940390133760

Is that good

lol @ the china

[Ian]

I'm convinced I will be a good manager one day. I already am in the sporting arena, and although business is a bit different, all it actually requires is a basic combination of brain/heart in the right proportions at the right times. It's not some ancient runes that only a select few can crack. The thing I will need to improve before I get there is being a bit less soft and more hard-headed when required.

This virus is, with great haste, teaching us all a lot about ourselves and each other.

In my experience (and maybe I was lucky with the people I had to manage) management isn't that hard, idiots and arseholes just make it look that way.

[Waffdon]

Eddie Large broon breed. Whoever he is.

[Mellberg]

My old gaffer died from it yesterday. Mid 50s. Gutted tbh.

[Mazuuurk]

I like a lol at Trump as much as the next man, and love watching his conferences, although I wish he'd spotted something the other day. All the journalists were (rightly) giving him a hard time over his response to the virus. Then, once he walked off, they all left their intentionally spaced out seats and started chatting away and wanking each other off from about half a yard. Would've liked him to have clocked it and called them out. Shame.

This continously happens in the Swedish daily press conferences they do. They always say "keep apart for the post-conference interviews please" but EVERY time the journalists all rush up and form a big group.

[Lewis]

I thought I had put 25000 dead in the predictions, but I missed a zero off, so that's me out.

[Lewis]

lol at Peston SEETHING that the Deputy Chief Medical Officer 'slapped down' his question when all he did was correct him. Just get him off the telly for fuck's sake.

[Yevrah]

What is this shit about on the BBC too?


Testing becomes political problem in UK

Laura Kuenssberg

BBC political editor

The government has been talking about testing for a while. But there is now urgency on the issue, which has become an acute political problem.

At today's press conference, Matt Hancock - back from isolation - will attempt to show that he has a grip on the issue, after the virus spread much quicker than had been predicted.

The mood has shifted, with even strong supporters of the government expressing concern over testing and the provision of PPE.

This crisis has affected every single bit of government, and sources say Whitehall is doing all it can.

But when the eventual inquiry comes, how quickly the government got a grip on testing will be one of the areas where there will be difficult questions to answer.

A political problem? Have a three week furlough off.

[phonics]

Another one for the heap. Absolutely useless.

"My sources in Whitehall say that Whitehall is doing a bang-up job."

Just isolate yourself you daft bitch.

[Manc]

Still in brexit mode.

[Disco]

1245513642319151110

Americans being dumber than expected is hardly news but check out sign language Willy Nelson in the background.

[Boydy]

1183776022287634433

Same guy.

[Lewis]

I'm not sure what 'the government' is expected to do about getting personal equipment into hospitals. Hardware like ventilators yes, because they need to throw a load of money at major companies to switch production, but what are they meant to be doing about rubber gloves? Don't hospitals do their own procurement for day-to-day bollocks, and won't everywhere in the world be struggling for this stuff that is probably all made in China?

[Revolution]

Whoops. Sorry LR and Hammerstein.

LR, got me into The The by making me listen to uncertain smile. Hammer, sincerely asked me if I wanted to watch David icke with him and sent me a photo of a dead woman.

I'm the one who looks like you. God help us both.

[Waffdon]

That’s harsh on Igor

[Jimmy Floyd]

I'm not sure what 'the government' is expected to do about getting personal equipment into hospitals. Hardware like ventilators yes, because they need to throw a load of money at major companies to switch production, but what are they meant to be doing about rubber gloves? Don't hospitals do their own procurement for day-to-day bollocks, and won't everywhere in the world be struggling for this stuff that is probably all made in China?

They should GRIP IT and PREPARE.

[Jimmy Floyd]

I am grateful to NHS workers - like, really, really grateful - but I'm sorry, I'm not doing this clapping. It's not about me.

[Shindig]

I compare it to clapping pilots. You shouldn't applaud landing. It's bread and butter piloting.

[Lofty]

My wife's employer seem to think they are going to furlough some people for three weeks, the bring them back, and furlough a different group of people for 3 weeks, bring them back etc

That isn't how it works surely?

[Jimmy Floyd]

Nope. They have to demonstrate that there is no work for whoever they are furloughing.

[Lofty]

Nope. They have to demonstrate that there is no work for whoever they are furloughing.

That's what I thought.

[Waffdon]

Lol at Hancock saying they’ve followed scientific advice throughout having left ‘self isolation’ after just the 6 days instead of 7 or 14.

Twat.

[phonics]

I compare it to clapping pilots. You shouldn't applaud landing. It's bread and butter piloting.

This comparison would only work if during said flight, terrorists tried to hijack the plane, killing multiple stewards and then one of the pilots killed all the terrorists and landed the plane.

[Shindig]

Yeah. :cool:

[randomlegend]

I compare it to clapping pilots. You shouldn't applaud landing. It's bread and butter piloting.

Whatever it is we'll end up dealing with in the next few weeks, it definitely ain't going to be bread and butter NHSing.

[phonics]

A man has derailed a train trying to crash into a boat that has been turned into a COVID-19 hospital because... I'm not really sure why?

https://www.nbclosangeles.com/news/local/man-tried-to-derail-train-to-wreck-navy-hospital-ship-mercy-over-coronavirus-suspicions-feds-say/2339287/

[Spoonsky]

Eduardo Moreno, 44, of San Pedro was charged with one count under a little known federal statute of train wrecking

:D

[Raoul Duke]

A man has derailed a train trying to crash into a boat that has been turned into a COVID-19 hospital because... I'm not really sure why?

https://www.nbclosangeles.com/news/local/man-tried-to-derail-train-to-wreck-navy-hospital-ship-mercy-over-coronavirus-suspicions-feds-say/2339287/

To own the libs?

[Lewis]

Some dickhead has a vuvuzela down this street.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Same, I didn't hear any clapping but I did hear Slovenia 0-0 Algeria being re-enacted.

[Manc]

Firework display in my ends. Opted for the willycopter myself.

[Magic]

Some dickhead has a vuvuzela down this street.

Bagpipes here.

[Offshore Toon]

If it's going to be a weekly thing we might as well start singing songs. Sweet Caroline, Bat Out Of Hell, Crazy Frog etc.

[Shindig]

Bat out of Hubei.

[phonics]

If it's going to be a weekly thing we might as well start singing songs. Sweet Caroline, Bat Out Of Hell, Crazy Frog etc.


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NlJahe-ix9U

[Alan Shearer The 2nd]

Politicians being filmed clapping in otherwise silence is making me cringe.

https://twitter.com/timfarron/status/1245795342777450497?s=21

[Spoonsky]

His wife claps like a spastic too.

[Alan Shearer The 2nd]

His wife claps like a spastic too.
:D

To the point.

[Spikey M]

My Facebook is wanking its self silly over how great they all are for clapping. You're not sea lions, you cunts.

[Shindig]

I keep thinking of the Bono quote where he went, "Everytime I clap. A child in Africa dies."

[Lewis]

He should have that dog taken off him and destroyed. If it's so poorly trained that it can't clap for this, what's to say it won't savage the next defenceless child it comes across?

[phonics]

https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/270326079648956433/695372436706951288/unknown.png

lol

[Kikó]

https://www.reuters.com/article/us-health-coronavirus-france-toll/frances-coronavirus-death-toll-jumps-to-nearly-5400-as-nursing-homes-included-idUSKBN21K31I

1355 France.

[Magic]

Fuck thought the Yanks had steamrolled out tonight but fair play.

[Adramelch]

https://www.reuters.com/article/us-health-coronavirus-france-toll/frances-coronavirus-death-toll-jumps-to-nearly-5400-as-nursing-homes-included-idUSKBN21K31I

1355 France.

That's all the care home deaths counted as today though.

[Spoonsky]

https://www.reuters.com/article/us-health-coronavirus-new-orleans/why-is-new-orleans-coronavirus-death-rate-twice-new-yorks-obesity-is-a-factor-idUSKBN21K1B0

You're going to see higher mortality rates at younger ages in the U.S., because we are an exceptionally unhealthy country. Not just obesity but all kinds of heart problems and chronic illnesses.


“We had a case where a mom was already in the ICU and the daughter, who was obese, came in,” she said. “The daughter asked staff to wheel her by her mom’s room so she could say goodbye before she herself was intubated. We knew the mother was going to pass away.”

well fuck

[Shindig]

This is the kind of thing that could shake the American diet up for the better.

[Adramelch]

This is the kind of thing that could shake the American diet up for the better.

Don't be silly, how do you expect the American economy to recover without McDonalds?

[Don]

Hancock was sayin today on QT they're yet to find an antibody test that passes the sufficient required standards.

Niko pointed this out at the time IIRC but fam...

https://www.google.com/amp/s/amp.theguardian.com/world/2020/mar/24/matt-hancock-35m-coronavirus-test-kits-are-on-the-way-to-the-nhs

Transparency has been lacking about testing resources, suppliers, etc throughout this and I'm not sure there's any need for it beside covering their own arse.

[Yevrah]

I remember when they first talked about the antibody test, it screamed of bullshit.

[Don]

This covers it in full, actually.

https://www.theguardian.com/politics/2020/apr/02/no-10-seeks-to-end-covid-19-lockdown-with-immunity-passports

Immunity passports. Nigga stop reading my posts and passing it off as your own policy.

[Shindig]

Don't be silly, how do you expect the American economy to recover without McDonalds?

By pretending to be a Subway.

[Pepe]

This is the kind of thing that could shake the American diet up for the better.

As if. Instant soups are still the only thing that remains sold out in the nearby Walmart.

[Yevrah]

I've thought about that and it's an interesting one. If you haven't had it and you're in a low risk group I could see (as that article says) people would seek it out in order to leave the house.

At every turn in this the people who have behaved morally have been screwed.

Didn't behave like a cunt and stockpile toilet roll? Good luck getting any of that for a while.
Didn't behave like a cunt and stockpile food? Enjoy the scrums to get some now.
Isolated and followed the rules to the letter? Have fun staying inside for longer than those that didn't.

[Don]

Nature doesn't take too kindly to socialism and all its associated fluff. But we knew this.

I don't even know if the above makes, I've gone in too deep. I'll have a wank and return in the morning.

[Boydy]

What the fuck are you on about, Taz?

[Jimmy Floyd]

Socialism is basically an attempt to defy nature, at its basic core. In the wild world, there isn't a God to save you. In the civilised world, there is, because we've invented one called the state, but it's fragile as fuck.

Darwinism is basically a description of a market economy. Fortunately, we're fitter than most.

[Don]

My colleague will be fielding the Q&A tonight.

[Waffdon]

The weather for the next five days is going to cause mayhem, especially down south I reckon.

Would have been the first beer garden of the year :(

[Don]

The weatherboys on the news had clearly been told very sternly to wind their necks in.

They're gonna need riot police if they think I'm taking any shelter between the hours of 10:00-17:00 on Sunday.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-asia-china-52131940

Shenzen has banned dog and cat meat. Not sure how they'll cope on just live squid and bat anus.

[Queenslander]

Seems like enough Real Estate agents have been asking tennants to access their super to pay rent that the QLD Govenment have threatened fines of up $1 million if the practice continues.

[Spoonsky]

Socialism is basically an attempt to defy nature, at its basic core. In the wild world, there isn't a God to save you. In the civilised world, there is, because we've invented one called the state, but it's fragile as fuck.

Darwinism is basically a description of a market economy. Fortunately, we're fitter than most.

:D

In 'nature,' humans - and most other creatures - survive by sticking in groups and watching out for each other. The idea of a state isn't fundamentally different. (Obviously a lot goes wrong in between.)

[phonics]

Socialism is basically an attempt to defy nature, at its basic core. In the wild world, there isn't a God to save you. In the civilised world, there is, because we've invented one called the state, but it's fragile as fuck.

Darwinism is basically a description of a market economy. Fortunately, we're fitter than most.

If 'the market' was Darwinism half the companies out there wouldn't exist. Uber is the definition of 'the free market' and it doesn't work for anyone but stockholders.

Socialism also cannot exist because someone will always have more than someone else.

[Luca]

I'm not sure what kind of analysis you're doing, but Uber absolutely does not work for its shareholders. In fact, the only people it probably works for are its riders, who are benefiting from subsidized rides as a result of Softbank's deep and dumb pockets and the IPO investors who bought in at a valuation that they're never going to see again. Even at its pre-crash high, it was still trading at a 10% discount to its IPO price.

The shareholders have invested in a business without a sniff at profitability (something something underlying ride-sharing unit economics are profitable, which I don't buy).

[Queenslander]

The upper middle class whinging coming out of the Hilton this week has been great.

It is shame they arent forced stay an extra week just for the lols.
https://www.instagram.com/p/B-gB3fVjaH-/?igshid=9xm4a6qlyzfu

[phonics]

I'm not sure what kind of analysis you're doing, but Uber absolutely does not work for its shareholders. In fact, the only people it probably works for are its riders, who are benefiting from subsidized rides as a result of Softbank's deep and dumb pockets and the IPO investors who bought in at a valuation that they're never going to see again. Even at its pre-crash high, it was still trading at a 10% discount to its IPO price.

The shareholders have invested in a business without a sniff at profitability (something something underlying ride-sharing unit economics are profitable, which I don't buy).

lol at thinking profitability has anything to do with people investing in Uber.

[Luca]

Wait, what? Do you know what a shareholder actually is? Why do they invest, then?

[Queenslander]

The Didi blokes always tell me that Didi exist purely for our data, Same with Ola.

[Lofty]

Brother in Law has been furloughed, he is in the process of buying a flat. I think this would affect it but he thinks not.

[Luca]

Sure, but because the data can presumably be monetized in some way in order to return profit to the shareholders. It’s not like Softbank, Vanguard, or Blackrock are going around peering at the data.

Actually, phonics is partially right: some investors aren’t holding Uber because they think it’ll make them a profit. They’re (Vanguard, for instance) holding Uber because they are a large manager of passive index funds/ETFs and holding things, irrespective of their thesis on a company’s profitability potential, is what they do. Maybe that’s what he meant.

Edit: Queenslander

[Luke Emia]

Brother in Law has been furloughed, he is in the process of buying a flat. I think this would affect it but he thinks not.

He should tell the lender if he doesn’t want to commit mortgage fraud. Other side of it though is he probably isn’t going to be completing before he’s back to work as house sales aren’t completing at the minute.

[Queenslander]

Sure, but because the data can presumably be monetized in some way in order to return profit to the shareholders. It’s not like Softbank, Vanguard, or Blackrock are going around peering at the data.

Actually, phonics is partially right: some investors aren’t holding Uber because they think it’ll make them a profit. They’re (Vanguard, for instance) holding Uber because they are a large manager of passive index funds/ETFs and holding things, irrespective of their thesis on a company’s profitability potential, is what they do. Maybe that’s what he meant.

Edit: Queenslander

I know almost nothing about it I just assume Didi is up to no good when they are under cutting Uber as much as they are.

[Luca]

Having no idea about Didi’s underlying unit economics, I’m going to hazard a guess that it comes down to “something something CCP has deep pockets something something predatory pricing.”

Which, to be fair, was Uber’s original model against everyone else initially. Their Silicon Valley bucks just got dwarfed by CCP bucks in China. Or Xi told them to do one. Probably a bit of both.

[Queenslander]

Having no idea about Didi’s underlying unit economics, I’m going to hazard a guess that it comes down to “something something CCP has deep pockets something something predatory pricing.”

Which, to be fair, was Uber’s original model against everyone else initially. Their Silicon Valley bucks just got dwarfed by CCP bucks in China. Or Xi told them to do one. Probably a bit of both.

It has settled down a bit now but for a while $5 could get me anywhere and they pay their drivers far better as well.

Thanks for the information.

[Luca]

The early days of Uber were quite similar, actually. I was living in Boston in the summer of 2014, shortly after UberX launched; and they were giving away free money on (already discounted) rides like they were going out of fashion. So was Lyft. And so was Sidecar (RIP).

We’re talking like multiple $25-30 in free money promotions. Each was trying to use their respective Silicon Valley kitty to suffocate the others. You just knew you weren’t paying anywhere near the intrinsic value of the ride.

[Queenslander]

Yep that was Ola then Didi took it to a whole other level. They more vocal ones would plead with me not to use Uber because they were robbing them in comparison.

How many ride share where you are currently?

[Magic]

Boring.

Back to deaths, please.

[Queenslander]

:D

[John Arne]

I went for a drive into the city last night, around 10pm. Never seen it so deserted. A city of 9m-11m looked like scene out of a movie. It was kinda cathartic driving around so unimpinged by other drivers.

My missus went to the post office earlier and saw 2 blokes being fined 200k for not wearing masks.
If I see pasta or rice again, I swear and doing the honourable thing and knifing myself.

[Queenslander]

I went for a drive into the city last night, around 10pm. Never seen it so deserted. A city of 9m-11m looked like scene out of a movie. It was kinda cathartic driving around so unimpinged by other drivers.

My missus went to the post office earlier and saw 2 blokes being fined 200k for not wearing masks.
If I see pasta or rice again, I swear and doing the honourable thing and knifing myself.

Yeah staples can fuck right off.

[Queenslander]

1100 died in America today.

https://aje.io/pt34j

[John Arne]

https://gyazo.com/232d7e33086ec1fc436ec951914e8fe5.jpeg

[Spikey M]

Is that a CAPTCHA?

[Waffdon]

The hounding of Premier League footballers is a tad embarrassing.

[Ian]

1100 died in America today.

https://aje.io/pt34j

Traitors. :nono:

The Donald will be loading them into a catapult to fire over the wall at Mexico, Genghis Khan style.

[Shindig]

The upper middle class whinging coming out of the Hilton this week has been great.

It is shame they arent forced stay an extra week just for the lols.
https://www.instagram.com/p/B-gB3fVjaH-/?igshid=9xm4a6qlyzfu

Yeah, I saw some of that on the BBC website. It's an inconvenience, not a prison sentence.

[Jimmy Floyd]

It isn't really (re footballers), or at least they are in no position to be crying about it. If you are on any kind of gravy train you need to be able to recognise when it has pulled into the depot for a while.

It's really the PFA's fault rather than individual players.

Any sentence that begins 'What about...' is not a valid one.

[Spikey M]

What about this one?

[Jimmy Floyd]

Can't even see what you've written.

[Queenslander]

Traitors. :nono:

The Donald will be loading them into a catapult to fire over the wall at Mexico, Genghis Khan style.

Bernie voters!

[Queenslander]

Yeah, I saw some of that on the BBC website. It's an inconvenience, not a prison sentence.

That is awesome it made the BBC the fucking mongs. :lol:

[Queenslander]

The International students especially from India are so incredibily fucked at the moment. Share houses are relying on a $50 grocery bag of staples that the local Indian community donate each week to get by.

I wont but Id love to shame some people into donating some of their $750 to the cause.

So sad that our socialism is for us pure whites only.

https://www.brisbanetimes.com.au/national/queensland/indian-community-steps-up-to-help-international-students-20200331-p54fni.html

[Lewis]

This has all shown the practical limits of socialism. People care enough about their immediate family and friends to share resources, but not enough about the rest of 'society' not to stockpile them in the first place.

[Queenslander]

We dont give shit about our brown underclass at the best of times but you are absolutely right and when people do extend their resources they post about it on social media.

[Yevrah]

Building Nightingale at the Excel in 9 days really is quite the effort.

[Waffdon]

It isn't really (re footballers), or at least they are in no position to be crying about it. If you are on any kind of gravy train you need to be able to recognise when it has pulled into the depot for a while.

It's really the PFA's fault rather than individual players.

Any sentence that begins 'What about...' is not a valid one.

Football players pay more tax than most, Jonathon Walters (I know) put a decent argument forward regarding this. Just seems embarrassing to hound football players when you have the billionaires running these organisations refusing to dip into their own pockets. Would someone on £80,000 a year take a 50% wage cut? No. The players will end up doing something of that ilk through media pressure alone.

Marcus Rashford has set up something to feed hundreds of thousands of children in Manchester but fuck all gets said about that.

[niko_cee]

I agree it's easy and a bit pointless trying to hound the well-paid footballers, but, at the same time, the top top Premier League players could basically band together and bankroll all other levels of the professional game and barely notice it, I would imagine. They'd be feted forever more. Just need someone to front it up. What's Juan Mata up to?

[Queenslander]

NBA players and former NBA players will eventually own all of the NBL teams in Australia because the NBL is now broke which is quite exciting. The Ball kid reckons he bought Illawarra just this week.





NBA prospect LaMelo Ball will reportedly buy into Illawarra Hawks NBL team
https://www.abc.net.au/news/2020-04-03/nba-prospect-lamelo-ball-in-talks-to-buy-illawarra-hawks-nbl/12118180

[Waffdon]

The PL owners are worth a combined 80 billion quid. But let’s tell the players they should pay their colleagues wages instead of the persons in charge!!

[John Arne]

Hold on, I just have missed this. Have Tottenham and Newcastle really furloughed their non-playing staff, whilst keep players on 100% salaries? Jesus Christ.
I'm not near a computer, but I reckon 20% players salaries would cover that.

[Don]

Top-level football would definitely be one of the more enjoyable casualties of watching the leisure industry crumble as a result of this. Tourism obviously number one.

[randomlegend]

Literally 99% of human endeavour is "against nature" so idk what point Jimmy is trying to make there.

I take it you'll be choosing the natural option of dying from the next bacterial infection you get.

[Ian]

Hold on, I just have missed this. Have Tottenham and Newcastle really furloughed their non-playing staff, whilst keep players on 100% salaries? Jesus Christ.
I'm not near a computer, but I reckon 20% players salaries would cover that.

At least some of the owners could cover it without breaking a sweat.

I see Waff's point and I don't disagree that there are others who could be getting more flak.

BUT, still, if you're on £250k a week there's really no reason you couldn't lose a good chunk of that to help people out.

[SvN]

There's no problem furloughing staff, but paying them the extra 20% would be pennies to the clubs. It's the owners that should be getting the criticism, not the players.

Having said that, the PFA have come out of this looking like real cunts.

[Ian]

Gordon Taylor is an arse.

[Yevrah]

Everyone who is well off at the moment should be doing their bit to help at this time, and footballers are definitely part of that.

Clubs that are furloughing organisational staff and not paying the difference, while continuing to pay the players in full should be ashamed of themselves.

[Waffdon]

I think the players will end up doing something and would come across as a little bit twattish if the non playing staff were being hung out to dry and they did nothing. Having said that, it’s not their job and they certainly shouldn’t come under any backlash because the guy paying the wages worth a billion quid wants to save himself some money and get the tax payers to pay. The same owners who more than likely pay fuck all tax back into the economy whereas an average amount a PL player pay a year in tax is £1.5m.

The same can be said for a lot of the higher ups in multiple companies. But then that’s why they’re rich to begin with

[Jimmy Floyd]

Literally 99% of human endeavour is "against nature" so idk what point Jimmy is trying to make there.

I take it you'll be choosing the natural option of dying from the next bacterial infection you get.

Exactly. I could beat 999 bacterial infections, but the 1,000th one will get me. 1-0 nature.

[randomlegend]

If dying at 90 rather than 40 doesn't get you even 1 point vs nature then I'm not sure why you're bothering with anything at all.

[Magic]

Is it worth ordering clothes and other shit? Next have just emailed me to say they have cancelled all outstanding deliveries and won't be accepting online orders.

[-james-]

Is it worth ordering clothes and other shit? Next have just emailed me to say they have cancelled all outstanding deliveries and won't be accepting online orders.

Why would you need more clothes? I've been rotating the same three jumpers for the past two weeks. Same with underpants too aha.

[Lewis]

*decades

[Lewis]

I think Boris Johnson should conduct all government business from his settee from now on. It suits him.

[Henry]

Despite everything else, it is nice to see neoliberalism collapsing in real time. Whatever comes next, it will be different.

[Shindig]

It's concerning 40% of our tests these days are turning positive.

[Bernanke]

Despite everything else, it is nice to see neoliberalism collapsing in real time. Whatever comes next, it will be different.

Over/under on it being worse?

[Adramelch]

That happens when you don't do a lot of testing though, no? You're prioritizing patients that show symptoms that could be due to covid, of course the rate is going to be high.

[Yevrah]

It's concerning 40% of our tests these days are turning positive.

I'm surprised it's not higher given who we're testing.

[Shindig]

Now that I think about it, it's bound to be higher because you're coming to the end of the usual cold and flu season. So symptoms are more likely to be Covid.

[Don]

A news story in the British Medical Journal has appeared suggesting that four out of five cases of Covid-19 in China may be asymptomatic.

The story is based on figures released by Chinese authorities on Wednesday that revealed that of the 166 new infections identified in the preceding 24 hours, 130 people showed no signs of the disease.

Tom Jefferson, an epidemiologist and honorary research fellow at the Centre for Evidence-Based Medicine at the University of Oxford, told the BMJ that while the sample was small it might have important implications, not least since it could mean that the virus had been circulating for longer than thought and that a huge proportion of the population had already been exposed.

He said:

If – and I stress, if – the results are representative, then we have to ask, ‘What the hell are we locking down for?’

But others have pushed back against the remarks. Among them, Dr Bharat Pankhania, senior clinical lecturer at the University of Exeter, who said that, while many people may have encountered the disease and been unaware of it, low rates of hospital admissions in several parts of the country suggested infection was not widespread and that lockdown therefore remained important. He said:

The lockdown is only [doing] one thing, which is to stop a surge of cases so that the trickle that are created are able to be safely treated in hospital and their lives saved.

------------------

Mr. Jefferson, welcome to the party, sir.

[randomlegend]

Widespread testing in Iceland showed rates of about 50% asymptomatic infection, IIRC.

[Don]

Yeah but that's Iceland, innit. They probs priced out COVID-19 from entering.

[Waffdon]

They’re not even counting the amount of nurses that die, just the doctors. Jesus.

[Spoonsky]

https://www.cbsnews.com/news/georgia-governor-says-he-just-learned-that-people-without-symptoms-can-spread-coronavirus/

Absolutely incredible.

[Adramelch]

France have probably learned of John Arne's cup and are gradually adding the care home deaths. Good strat.

[John Arne]

Round 1 Results.
Also, quick note, small error in the original bottom right bracket. Switzerland were listed instead of Netherlands. Now fixed.

https://gyazo.com/6a054291fd97239a321b31345e8feb05.jpeg

[Don]

Run the scoring system by me again, you don.

[John Arne]

Have the UK updated their requirement/recommendations on masks yet? Or, is their simply not enough for the public - therefore, no public requirement?

[Adramelch]

Run the scoring system by me again, you don.

Deaths per 1 million people over the two days I believe.

[Bernanke]

Sweden out in the first round. Our approach is foolproof. :drool:

[John Arne]

Run the scoring system by me again, you don.

Number of deaths per 1m pop, cumulative over 2 days. So, USA 6 is actually 6.09. 1049 (1st apr) + 968 (2nd apr) = 2017 /331m*1m = 6.09

[Lewis]

Jean-Claude Van-Tam has just been on saying that masks are pointless in day-to-day life.

[John Arne]

Sweden out in the first round. Our approach is foolproof. :drool:

Highest scoring team to go out. You'd have won 10 of the 16 matchups - unlucky draw.

[Spikey M]

Lee , we've buckled. Moved our holiday to May next year. 7 days instead of 10 as well because the little one will have started school.

Hoping for a last minute deal at some point before them. Stay indoors you cunts.

[Spikey M]

The Yanks are going to fuck us in the quarters.

[Spoonsky]

The Yanks are going to fuck us in the quarters.

I had thought so but I'm not so sure, our massive population and later onset could see you guys inch it.

[Adramelch]

Unless they start posting ridiculous numbers (like 3000 dead per day), I think you'll be fine. The size of their population cucks them.

[Don]

The state of HIGNFY.

[niko_cee]

They're not doing it over zoom or something are they?

[Adramelch]

We had a department meeting yesterday where every postdoc was to give a presentation, but Adobe Connect which we were supposed to use for screensharing wasn't working so we ended up giving the presentations through the phone, with each person having the pdf open on their own computer. #techonology

[Baz]

Penalties :D

[phonics]

We had a department meeting yesterday where every postdoc was to give a presentation, but Adobe Connect which we were supposed to use for screensharing wasn't working so we ended up giving the presentations through the phone, with each person having the pdf open on their own computer. #techonology

It's a really nerdy thing to say but I've been really impressed with how good Teams is.

[phonics]

Establishment Democrats spending the last 18 months telling people that everyone loves their employer based health insurance followed by a global pandemic and the below paragraph is just a perfect microcosm of how shit they are.

1246077693889851392

[Bernanke]

The pearl clutching by the journalists in the press room whenever Donald say they ask "nasty" questions when he's on his bullshit is pretty infuriating. Fucking throw a shoe or something.

[Mazuuurk]

Widespread testing in Iceland showed rates of about 50% asymptomatic infection, IIRC.

Isnt the big debate how contagious you are with no sympoms though? As the virus is there in you, but very low levels right? Here they seem to think even if you do test positive while asymptomatic, the rate at which you infect other people at that point is low enough to let people out for the sake of society not grinding to a halt (at the cost of a few more infections).

But it may be a huge miscalculation :D

[Shindig]

Yeah, the fear is asymptomatic people have facilitated the big spread of the disease. Even if you're not asymptomatic, the five days it takes you to develop symptoms, you're seen as infectious.

[Mazuuurk]

My theory is thats why it keeps affecting the weak and elderly so bad and there keeps being outbreaks at nursing homes etc - a few droplets of someone asympomatic may not be enough to infect you and me (or its not enough for the virus to really get a foothold) but for Ruth aged 83 it's plenty, and away we go.

Completely unscientific, of course. CY@!

[Spikey M]

Didn't Goebbels say yesterday that all of the immunity tests have been a sack of shit so far and that's why we don't have them? Can we trust any study showing a load of asymptomatic people if the test is a dud?

Or are they using the tests that they use on a current cases?

[Shindig]

The tests for antibodies have been duds but the tests for the virus are coming up trumps.

[John Arne]

China, not content with giving Vietnam Coronavirus, are now ramming into our fishing boats and sinking them.


https://gyazo.com/520ccfcf9277c158cc05de50f18e7224.jpeg
https://gyazo.com/8b17cfaab8aa8a3bd5adf6e19a8d04de.jpeg

[Spikey M]

So is the test that Iceland did using the current case test and it showed a tonne of people that had it but felt fine? Or were they testing using a dud antibodies test?

If it's the former, I can't understand why nothing is being made of this news?

[Shindig]

China also tested some of their returning people and found out of 160, 130 were showing no symptoms. The thing with the asymptomatic numbers are how many of them might turn symptomatic in the following days.

Looking at the Italy and Spain graphs, I really wish we published recoveries. Just to get a better idea of what cases were active in the UK.

[Don]

A succesful antibody test exists, I believe, UK just bought theirs out the back of Del Boy's motor.

[Don]

Meanwhile, in Hampshire, officers and paramedics have told people to stick to physical distancing after three ambulances were called on a “selfish and avoidable deployment” to a man having a bad acid trip following a house party.

:****)

I'd be scared of having one too many zoots in these conditions, fuck acid :D

[Offshore Toon]

There's no greater sign of being a fanny than taking psychedelics then crying to the emergency services.

[Adramelch]

worldofmeters has new columns for testing per country. No idea where they get the stats or how accurate they are but it's something.

[Shindig]

I think everyone publishes test numbers.

[Lewis]

I'm struggling to see the point of all the testing beyond the obvious cases. It seems largely to be media-driven insofar as it's something them dickheads can get their heads around (targets, Whitehall, 'holding people to account', obsessing over sensible Germany, etc.); but to what end is it actually done, given that a) there is no chickenpox-style lasting immunity that might justify letting certain people back into pubs; and b) we're all going to have to get back out and chance it at some point.

[Shindig]

Extensive testing is usually done so they can catch cases early enough to isolate them. For politicians, it's a number to chase.

[Adramelch]

For me it's just a metric that helps understand when the rise in cases is due to increased testing or not.

[Don]

I'm struggling to see the point of all the testing beyond the obvious cases. It seems largely to be media-driven insofar as it's something them dickheads can get their heads around (targets, Whitehall, 'holding people to account', obsessing over sensible Germany, etc.); but to what end is it actually done, given that a) there is no chickenpox-style lasting immunity that might justify letting certain people back into pubs; and b) we're all going to have to get back out and chance it at some point.

Point a) seems like speculation and scientific evidence would lean on it being incorrect. If mine is Covid, I can confirm this shit don't just get flushed out in a week or two so those reinfections are probably as a result of shit testing to prove they had recovered.

[Magic]

700. :drool:

[Yevrah]

We are definitely not going to Sports Direct on Monday.

[Giggles]

700. :drool:

What the fuck is the :drool: for?

[Shindig]

I'm pretty sure Magic wants a huge death toll so he can have something else to worry about.

[Spikey M]

What the fuck is the :drool: for?

He's autistic.

[Lofty]

I'm struggling to see the point of all the testing beyond the obvious cases. It seems largely to be media-driven insofar as it's something them dickheads can get their heads around (targets, Whitehall, 'holding people to account', obsessing over sensible Germany, etc.); but to what end is it actually done, given that a) there is no chickenpox-style lasting immunity that might justify letting certain people back into pubs; and b) we're all going to have to get back out and chance it at some point.

I mean aren't the countries smashing the testing and contact tracing also beating the curve significantly more than we are?

[Waffdon]

Lol at Liverpool. You’ll Never Walk Alone Alone right enough

[niko_cee]

Well, as the song goes, sign-on . . .

[Jimmy Floyd]

The key thing we have done that a lot of countries haven't done (hi America) is taken the time to get the necessary economic safeguards in place, and the majority of people are fairly secure as a result. It's better, as a nation, for 10,000 more people to die of it than for all 65 million to be plunged into a decade of doom. Twitter emotional screaming may not agree but that's the sad truth.

Obviously there is a time when the lockdown does have to come in to prevent even greater exponential number of deaths and that's why it's here now and here to stay for a while. But to pretend in a liberal society (note: South Korea is not a liberal society) you can impose and hold draconian fully-enforced lockdowns when the disease has barely got going is complete pie in the sky.

[Waffdon]

It’s pathetic. Again, the players will come under scrutiny instead of the tax dodging cunt in charge.

[Shindig]

I'm bored so I've decided to mock up what our active cases curve is (in the absence of recovery data, I'm stuck with using deaths as a marker). I'm tempted to mock some up using Italy and Spain as a marker but their case numbers are fuller than ours so their recovery data will be bigger as well. Italy's seeing recoveries in excess of 1000 a day now. The curve's flattening but it would with the deaths climbing.

[Jimmy Floyd]

It’s pathetic. Again, the players will come under scrutiny instead of the tax dodging cunt in charge.

That's only because the press need to use the famous stars as headlines. We all know who the worst guys are.

[phonics]

Not to make a global pandemic about me but this as someone who makes content for online. Thjis COVID019 business is doing absolute numbers for us. We're getting a good 5-7x the amount of traffic we usually do on anything with Corona in.

[Giggles]

We’re busier than we have been in months too. Flat out and money is flying in.

[Lewis]

Them Italian numbers are decent. I might get that flight to Milan booked.

[Giggles]

Has anyone done a will or is there any means of doing one without a solicitor?

[Adramelch]

If the sources are correct that's a total of 2k deaths at care homes in France, which is more than a fourth of the total number.

[Spikey M]

This 5G stuff is hilarious. I mean, how could anyone not see the clear link between 5G and all these tech-savvy, early adopting pensioners carcing it.

[Don]

That's not how it works, you fucking jew lizard.

[Offshore Toon]

Burning stuff down will always be cool so I don't see the issue.

[phonics]

Two things I've enjoyed today.

1246077693889851392

1246535746900672519

[Don]

How does one embed tweets?

https://twitter.com/g__ferris/status/1246475565072371712?s=20

I mean there's some logic and sense in amongst it somewhere but the sheer lols of it make it very difficult to see.

[phonics]

[tweet] and just the numbers.

[niko_cee]

We're going to be on the French care home rollercoaster of death soon enough. Look out San Marino.

It's in three now and my sources tell me they won't be taking any of the covidites to hospital, but have, instead, shipped a biblical amount of (usually highly restricted) palliative care drugs to these places. Imagine being one of the care home workers in that scenario. No thanks. The hospital is empty as well (2 cases being dealt with, none in ICU). It's mental. If we aren't bothering to treat the old buggers what's the point in locking everything down?

[Lewis]

The police are loving this aren't they the sad cunts.

[Kikó]

Yep. More interested in flagging people going for a long walk than doing anything about the twats we're letting back of cruises. It's laughable.

Been reading elsewhere how loads of cases reported by medics of the young and it's rapid from healthy to deathly. Grim.

[Yevrah]

Any linkage Kik's?

[Kikó]

Post elsewhere:
After a week on the COVID unit a few observations.

This disease is scarier than we thought. It’s taking out an alarming number of fit young people every single day. We have tubed someone as young as 19. My sister is a doctor at Tameside and today she has tubed two people in their thirties. Every single day I’m seeing people below the age of 50 coming to our emergency department in acute respiratory distress. It is absolutely not a disease which only targets the elderly and co-morbid. I’m not sure how well reflected this is in the epidemiological data from Wuhan and Italy.

I can not thing of anything I’ve encountered whereby you can be fine and 7-10 days later be requiring a ventilator. Truly terrifying.

PPE is slowly improving - the guidance has shifted and we are better protected. But it’s too little too late, we were seeing the same patients 24 hours earlier with minimal protection.

I work in the West Mids and we’ve been asked to volunteer for redeployment to the Nightingale at the NEC. It’ll be split into two main sections. The first will be a step down unit for recovering patients and the second a palliative area for people who have reached their ceiling of treatment.

Our ITU is full and we are now managing patients in the operating theatre.

I’ve asked for a link so that people can donate towards our PPE fund for the production of visors. As soon as I have it I’ll post it here.

Stay safe and indoors.

[Shindig]

Looking at the Italy numbers, a quarter of cases (24,000-ish) are under 50 years old. About 111 of whom have died (as of 30/3/20)

[Giggles]

Is that from Facebook? I’ve read similar from at least 5 different sources the last few days. Two were identical (to each other, not that). All it’s missing is a prayer from all the angles in heaven 💓x💓x💓x💓x💓

[Yevrah]

:|

It would be useful to know if there's any way to tell (at a stage earlier than the obvious) if you're heading for death from it. Were that to happen to me I'd rather go in my chair at home saying what I can to friends and family over zoom than at a death camp in the Excel centre.

[Shindig]

Fuck that. I'd have to fight it. I keep thinking about David Abel deciding very early doors that, if he was heading towards a ventilator, he'd force himself to learn how to breathe. So he did.

[niko_cee]

You're not going to be 'heading for death' from it, you numpty. You're a large factor more likely to not even know you have it.

[Kikó]

Is that from Facebook? I’ve read similar from at least 5 different sources the last few days. Two were identical (to each other, not that). All it’s missing is a prayer from all the angles in heaven 💓x💓x💓x💓x💓

No, I'm not going to insult you with a Facebook bollocks

[Don]

'Death camp in the Excel centre' :D

I've priced the cigarettes per day line of that FIT AND YOUNG 19 year-old at 15.5 in case there's any punters out there.

[Shindig]

Weed mustn't be a factor. California's numbers are relatively sane.

[Yevrah]

You're not going to be 'heading for death' from it, you numpty. You're a large factor more likely to not even know you have it.

I did not speculate on the likelihood of me dying from it.

I did smoke for 20 years and vape now though, so I'd fancy my chances less than some, if you're asking.

[Giggles]

Might as well start smoking again, damage is done.

[Yevrah]

Might as well start smoking again, damage is done.

Not really.

As Richard Briers once said, smoking is a young man's game. I stopped just in time, maybe.

[Giggles]

You didn’t. Not after 20 years.

Smoking (and still working) are the main reasons I’m looking at getting my affairs in order.

[Yevrah]

You didn’t. Not after 20 years.

Smoking (and still working) are the main reasons I’m looking at getting my affairs in order.

Fair points that. I was thinking more of avoiding dying from cancer at 60 than Covid-19 now though. Genuinely don't know what it does to young smokers, beyond that obviously not being a good thing.

[Magic]

This Giggles meltdown is quite something.

[Giggles]

This Giggles meltdown is quite something.

:D Oh dear. From the lad that has 3 a day.

[Manc]

What are we predicting today? Mass orgies in the parks? Police brutality? 1000 deaths?

[Spikey M]

I'm having a barbecue and minding my own business.

[Giggles]

I’m going to have beans on toast at some stage.

[Kikó]

City's boys charging top dollar.

1246716628303306753?s=20

[Bernanke]

Mass orgies in the parks?

The debauchery that will take place when all this shit is over will be like nothing we've ever seen before. :drool:

[Kikó]

Swinging 60s like renaissance?

[Luke Emia]

What day are they banning exercise out of the home this week then?If it’s been mentioned today I’d imagine Wednesday or Thursday. Just in time for next weekend.

[Lofty]

City's boys charging top dollar.

1246716628303306753?s=20

Kyle Walker has been helping out key workers though: https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-8188793/Manchester-City-star-Kyle-Walker-hosted-sex-party-two-escorts-coronavirus-lockdown.html