Feb Footy: Southend United and football's demise

[Ian]

“I'd rather take a cheese grater to my cock [than watch Southend] at the moment.” - Spikey M, 05/01/2020.

Australia is ablaze, China’s insistence on eating bat arseholes has doomed us all and Jim Davidson has unveiled a portrait of “Mr Brexit.” But it’s not just everything else that’s catastrophically shit, football is too! And I can think of no better way to illustrate this than the state of Southend United.

How many managers have these cunts had?
The number of managers Southend United have had since Sky invented the sport in 1992 is a microcosm of the state of football as a whole. Any sense of permanence or stability is a myth as a series of men named Barry, Colin and Steve come and go. 20 managerial appointments in 28 years is typical of football in the 21st century, though with crowd trouble and racism on the resurgence perhaps the wider football community should take a page out of Southend’s book with their appointment of minority candidates such as Sol Campbell, Chris Powell and of course Phil Brown.

Which bastards are funding all this?
Why, the betting firms of course. If they’re making all the money off people’s weakness and probably involved in all sorts of corruption then of course Southend should get their slice of that delicious pie. It’s fine, because Paddy Power do loads of banter so they must be top lads. Southend being reduced to this having spent the last few years displaying the names of the Amy May Trust and Prostate Cancer UK can is, like so much at Southend United, a reflection of bigger clubs like Barcelona. If Barca, Mate have gone from having no shirt sponsor blighting their sacred shirt to taking that sweet Japanese tech money via Unicef and human rights abusers what choice do Southend have if they want to stay afloat?

So which bellend owns this rabble, anyway?
Well according to Wikipedia it’s Ron Martin who has (genuine Wikipedia quote here) “the most magnificent head of hair out of all 92 professional club chairmen” so he must be alright. But even a barnet as lustrous as his can’t hide the fact that an increasing number of football clubs are owned by, if not actual dictators, massive bellends.

With all this money swilling about they must be doing alright though, surely?
Wrong! They have suffered repeated financial difficulties and recently had to pay players directly from the owner’s pocket. With a handful of rich clubs setting the terms and throttling progress elsewhere Southend are just one club that perfectly displays the financial inequality that’s making life so difficult for many teams. Do you stay sustainable and settle for disappointment or push your financial boundaries and risk both the winding up of the club and your chairman not having enough money to adequately care for his magnificent hair*?

* I still haven’t Googled him, I’m just assuming Wikipedia isn’t lying to me.

So just how much does it cost me to go and watch this shower of shite? According to the most recent stats currently available (BBC’s 2017 Price of Football survey) a Southend ticket is between £22 and £25, by the time you factor in a programme to give you something to read instead of looking at the pitch and enough pies to take your mind off the fact that you’ve willingly chosen to attend a Southend match I estimate that a parent and two children going to the game would need to spend in the region of £350 every Saturday. And this isn’t even that bad! It merely holds up a mirror to the spiralling costs being forced onto fans who want to go and watch their beloved team of indifferent millionaires every week.

In Conclusion? If this detailed thesis hasn’t proven to you that football is a load of old bollocks and you should just stay at home watching Netflix then nothing will. Come on, sheeple!

Back by popular demand, the month’s big fixtures!
Saturday 1st February - Southend United vs. Lincoln City - 15:00

Saturday 8th February - Blackpool vs. Southend United - 15:00

Tuesday 11th February - Peterborough United vs. Southend United - 19:45

Saturday 15th February - Southend United vs. Coventry City - 15:00

Tuesday 18th February - Southend United vs. Gillingham - 19:45

Saturday 22nd February - Southend United vs. Burton Albion - 15:00

Saturday 29th February - Oxford United vs. Southend United - 15:00

[7om]

I've all but given up on football at this point. I think VAR being a shower of shite was the straw that broke the camel's back for me. Then you have clubs like Bury going under while we allow clubs like Man City to go mental spending tens of millions on squad players. It's just wrong.

Birmingham are a total laughing stock now. The ownership are so incompetant it's actually quite mesmerising watching it all happen. The result is I have absolutely no interest in the sport whatsoever any more.

[SincereTheRebel]

Im in manchester red for the wolves game. Im struggling to think of any man utd fans on TTH that I may recognise by face. If I do see you, it's onsight.

[Spikey M]

Fantastic stuff Ian. To address the main theme of your thesis: it is a very nice head of hair indeed. So nice, that Ron Martin and Gordon Ramsey actually have a time share on it.


https://www.echo-news.co.uk/resources/images/1925421.jpg

Of course it often comes down to choosing between bathing it in Treseme or paying the tax man, but it's the FA's fault if you really think about it.

[niko_cee]

Kepa benched for Chelsea.

:happycry:

[Jimmy Floyd]

This is usually when you find out why the likes of Penis Horseman are second choice.

On another note, I'm currently in a mystery location full of Liverpool fans (Sandbach services on the M6) and they really are disgusting animals. One of them just gobbed in the middle of the floor.

[John Arne]

This is usually when you find out why the likes of Penis Horseman are second choice.

On another note, I'm currently in a mystery location full of Liverpool fans (Sandbach services on the M6) and they really are disgusting animals. One of them just gobbed in the middle of the floor.

They are leaving it late to get to Southampton in less than 3hrs. Also, Sandbach was my local services, and is one of those service stations with a "secret exit" #TrueFacts. I guess you are on the southbound side?

[Jimmy Floyd]

I'm on the northbound side so I can only imagine that the 20 grown adults and about 10 kids in Mo Salah shirts are very lost indeed.

The secret exit must be very secret or else everyone in this dung hole would surely be making a beeline for it.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Tammy Abraham is shit.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

BT too scared to call that a dive.

[Waffdon]

He hit his knee, but was offside anyway. No idea why Chelsea refuse to put Reece James on every set piece

[Waffdon]

Mason Mount needs punted back to the championship

[Kikó]

Im in manchester red for the wolves game. Im struggling to think of any man utd fans on TTH that I may recognise by face. If I do see you, it's onsight.

You might see Manc Sean if Lewis hasn't murdered him.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Caballero :harold:

[Gray Fox]

Chelsea are dying to give everyone below them a chance to steal 4th. If this sticks though you'd imagine that's the top 3 sorted.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

And that's a quality header.

[Jimmy Floyd]

The idea that Kepa is shit is the biggest myth going, and I don't just say that because of his dreamy eyes.

[Gray Fox]

Does that Europa Cup 2.0 style competition come in next season?

[Jimmy Floyd]

UEFA Conference League. The jewel in the crown.

[John Arne]

Watford v Everton team news
Watford (4-2-3-1) Foster; Mariappa, Kabasele, Cathcart, Masina; Chalobah, Capoue; Pereyra, Doucoure, Deulofeu; Deeney.
Everton (4-4-2) Pickford; Sidibe, Mina, Holgate, Digne; Walcott, Sigurdsson, Delph, Iwobi; Calvert-Lewin, Richarlison.

Newcastle v Norwich team news
Newcastle (3-4-2-1) Dubravka; Fernandez, Lascelles, Clark; Yedlin, Bentaleb, Hayden, Ritchie; Almiron, Saint-Maximin; Joelinton.
Norwich (4-2-3-1) Krul; Byram, Hanley, Zimmermann, Aarons; Tettey, McLean; Rupp, Duda, Cantwell; Pukki.

Liverpool v Southampton team news
Liverpool (4-3-3) Alisson; Alexander-Arnold, Gomez, van Dijk, Robertson; Henderson, Fabinho, Wijnaldum; Salah, Firmino, Oxlade-Chamberlain.
Southampton (4-2-2-2) McCarthy; Ward-Prowse, Stephens, Bednarek, Bertrand; Romeu, Hojbjerg; Djenepo, Redmond; Long, Ings.

Crystal Palace v Sheffield United team news
Crystal Palace (4-3-2-1) Guaita; Ward, Cahill, Tomkins, van Aanholt; McArthur, Milivojevic, McArthy; Ayew, Zaha; Benteke.
Sheffield United (3-5-2) Henderson; Basham, Egan, O’Connell; Baldock, Norwood, Berge, Fleck, Stevens; Sharp, McBurnie.

Bournemouth v Aston Villa team news
Bournemouth (4-3-3) Ramsdale; Smith, Francis, Ake, Rico; Gosling, Lerma, Billing; H Wilson, C Wilson, Fraser.
Aston Villa (3-4-2-1) Reina; Konsa, Mings, Hause; Guilbert, Nakamba, Luiz, Targett; El Ghazi, Grealish; Samatta.

Real Madrid v Atletico Madrid team news
Real Madrid (4-1-4-1) Courtois; Carvajal, Varane, Ramos, Mendy; Casemiro; Valverde, Modric, Kroos, Isco; Benzema.
Atletico Madrid (4-4-2) Oblak; Vrsaljko, Savic, Felipe, Lodi; Correa, Thomas, Llorente, Saúl; Vitolo y Morata.

[Gray Fox]

Looks as if its 2021. Arsenal fans have plenty of time to prepare.


As for today, I see Southampton have gone for Shane Long. I feel like he always scores against Liverpool without actually having seen any stats to back this up.

[John Arne]

American pundits staring right down the camera when talking really is disconcerting. Talk to each other, weirdos.

[Smjffy]

Haaland again.

I'm going to rue saying he won't amount to much, aren't I?

[Danny]

Liverpool looking shaky at the back in the 5 mins I have been watching. Southampton just making shit decisions and not finishing well enough.

[John Arne]

Southampton should be 4 up here. Luckily Redmond can't shoot and Alisson is quality.

[niko_cee]

Potter's wankball is taking Brighton down.

Hard to pick three teams likely to finish below them in the league.

[Gray Fox]

Thank fuck for Alisson so far.

Southampton impressive, but sloppy passing has seen us try to set them up 3/4 times. Upsetting the midfield 3 by bringing Fabinho back in seems to have backfired. Ox on the left isn't really offering anything.

[John Arne]

Sancho now has 12 goals and 12 assists this season, highest in the Bundesliga.

[niko_cee]

I've not seen any of today, but going off his past two appearances, Fabinho should be nowhere near the first team at the moment. Henderson is going great guns in there.

[Danny]

Thank fuck for Alisson so far.

Southampton impressive, but sloppy passing has seen us try to set them up 3/4 times. Upsetting the midfield 3 by bringing Fabinho back in seems to have backfired. Ox on the left isn't really offering anything.

Nice assist.

[John Arne]

Haaland again :drool:

And the Ox :drool:

[John Arne]

Southampton definitely should have had a pen then :/

[Gray Fox]

Nice assist.

Okay let me try another one.

That Wijnaldum doesn't score enough goals for me...

[Danny]

Southampton definitely should have had a pen then :/

I didnt think it was a pen and I want you to lose every week :lol:

[John Arne]

I didnt think it was a pen and I want you to lose every week :lol:

:D I'll have to see it again. The initial challenge was good, but then I thought Fabinho caught him again...

[Danny]

I just saw another angle where he might have done actually. I honestly think it would have been soft.

[John Arne]

Here you go...

https://gyazo.com/f7094ed1203444adad86b91e33667ced.gif

[John Arne]

Also, can we sack Southgate for not persuading Haaland to play for England... #Brexit

[Danny]

On that angle I think I am with you. And as Henderson just scored I am turning this off.

[Shindig]

Hard to tell whether he's down due to the contact or lost his footing. Could've went either way.

[John Arne]

We're gonna win the league.

[Gray Fox]

Lovely stuff.

[-james-]

1223644165738827776


:happycry:

[Gray Fox]

Everton with the proper FM'ing of Watford there.

[Shindig]

I dunno how such a tepid 0-0 found us moving up to 10th.

[John Arne]

Our Super Cup match against Hanoi has been postponed due to Coronavirus.

[John Arne]

Liverpool: 100 points out of the last 102 available taken.

[niko_cee]

Thank christ West Ham are equal parts awful and generous. Hopefully they can continue to tank in their up coming 'hard run'. Some winnable games coming up for Brighton, but they usually only amplify the disappointment levels when they don't go the right way. Oh to win a 6-pointer.

[Gray Fox]

So do we give Henderson the Player of the Season award now or must we wait for May?

[Lewis]

Let's see what Nuno Nernandes can do with his fitness advantage first.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Haaland again :drool:



He also won a penalty too.

Smiffy's opinion is looking very Angelsaintesque.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Bruuuuuuuuuuuuuuuno starts.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Luke Shaw and 'Andreas' starting :sick:

[Spikey M]

Southend with their first home win of the season today. Well in Ian. :cool:

[Ian]

Southend with their first home win of the season today. Well in Ian. :cool:

If I've saved Southend then the OP would suggest I'm also going to save football as a whole.

[Lewis]

Am I just paying more attention to him or is 'Andreas' getting worse?

[Ian]

I've still no idea what he's supposed to be good at.

[Lewis]

Similarly, is Fred actually getting better or is he merely the only one who goes with a bit of purpose?

[Giggles]

I've still no idea what he's supposed to be good at.
It’s not soccer anyway.

[niko_cee]

This is a poor game.

[Ian]

Similarly, is Fred actually getting better or is he merely the only one who goes with a bit of purpose?

I think he actually is.... provided he doesn't touch the ball within 20 yards of the opposing goal.

[Giggles]

Why are liverpool fans everywhere so giddy today? I know they’ve a lot to crow about this season but it was Southampton. Did they break some record or all but seal the league?

[niko_cee]

They've probably broken some sort of record. Another one seems to go every week at the moment.

I think 22 points is the most a team has ever been ahead in the league or something, maybe. Also equaled City's run of 20 home wins and off in pursuit of Shankly's record.

[Shindig]

22 points is a record league lead.

[Giggles]

They've probably broken some sort of record. Another one seems to go every week at the moment.

I think 22 points is the most a team has ever been ahead in the league or something, maybe. Also equaled City's run of 20 home wins and off in pursuit of Shankly's record.

That makes sense.

[Gray Fox]

And because it's finally sunk in. Even for the most pessimistic of Liverpool fans.

[Giggles]

Jesus, it should have been fairly obvious when it was clear there was no challenger. Even the ones they threw away were because another team could muster some wins, but this has been a cert for months.

Personally, as someone who despises every molecule associated with the club, them running away with it is easily the most tolerable way of them doing it, which was surprising to me. Plus them doing it by winning every game being out the window is a massive relief.

[Ian]

There's been a real reluctance to accept that even if they weren't completely steamrollering it and had had a wobble that there's simply nobody in the league this season capable of stringing results together over a lengthy period of time.

[Lewis]

No more United games for two weeks. :drool:

[Giggles]

Who was the mong at the end? Number 20 I think.

[Gray Fox]

Dalot I believe.

[Giggles]

Dalot I believe.

He bad.

[SincereTheRebel]

Wan-Bissaka slide tackle accuracy is 100%

[Yevrah]

Jesus, it should have been fairly obvious when it was clear there was no challenger. Even the ones they threw away were because another team could muster some wins, but this has been a cert for months.

Personally, as someone who despises every molecule associated with the club, them running away with it is easily the most tolerable way of them doing it, which was surprising to me. Plus them doing it by winning every game being out the window is a massive relief.

They're still well on course for the most impressive league season ever, and most impressive by a country mile.

[Giggles]

They're still well on course for the most impressive league season ever, and most impressive by a country mile.

That’s true, they’re making hay. But a 100% season would be unheard of for anyone.

[mugbull]

The main reason I’ve always had a soft spot for Liverpool is because all the spastics on TTH hated them so much

[Smjffy]

Mourinho and his bus would be a welcome sight tomorrow tbh.

[Mike]

The main reason I’ve always had a soft spot for Liverpool is because all the spastics on TTH hated them so much

Theres this big thing that when we win the league the fans will be awful. In truth we'll celebrate the day we win it, then have a parade around the city at some point to celebrate again, like very club does. Then it'll be all focused on winning the CL again. ;)

EDIT:
Also, Danny Ings is still rightfully loved at Anfield.
1223657077731733505

[Kikó]

Who would sign Andreas if he was on a free?

I landed at a second division Spanish team.

[Gray Fox]

He's shite, at United and looking to be moved on, so a deal to Inter Milan seems nailed on.

[Bob Sacamano]

He's got a move to Turkey written all over him.

[Jimmy Floyd]

If West Ham go this year they won't be back. Fingers crossed.

[phonics]

On the scale of 1-10 on the 'new managment regime' I think Mezut Ozil playing a game north of the Watford Gap and trying to win the occasional header scores a 17.

[phonics]

There's no stadium that does manufactured grievances better than Turf Moor.

I posted this and then saw Nick Miller has handily made a list.

1223976608006057985

[niko_cee]

Arsenal fans, in the past, were serial offenders for the booing of high balls, one of the worst modern fan behaviours (up there with the 'ah your shit' after a goalkick routine) so nickmiller79 can get fucked with that critique.

[Lewis]

That period where they SEETHED themselves to death over all things Stoke could be seen as having foreshadowed the referendum result.

[Shindig]

I keep wondering if anyone's going to make a break from the mid-table stalemate but I could probably only see Southampton carrying anything close to form.

[niko_cee]

Sheffield United for 4th, and Chris Wilder for manager of the year after Klopp wins every single manager of the month award.

Ah, just seen he didn't get October. Presumably that was the month Liverpool drew a game.

[John Arne]

Most Arsenal players are also a bunch of petulent, play-acting, faux macho knobheads. Similar to Real and Barca, in that respect.

[phonics]

These are all perfectly reasonable points. To you all I say, "Booooo".

[Smjffy]

If Arsenal don't win today isn't that one win in eight league games for Arteta?

[John Arne]

Is Dani Ceballos still alive?

[Shindig]

Wikipedia still talks about him in the present tense.

[SincereTheRebel]

WengerIn

[phonics]

45 seconds before they got to boo. Poor from the Burnley fans.

[niko_cee]

Burnley are clearly going to get skanked here, they've missed an inexplicable number of chances.

[Lofty]

Theres this big thing that when we win the league the fans will be awful. In truth we'll celebrate the day we win it, then have a parade around the city at some point to celebrate again, like very club does. Then it'll be all focused on winning the CL again. ;)

EDIT:
Also, Danny Ings is still rightfully loved at Anfield.
1223657077731733505

Yeah not like the fanbase unironically dined out on the 2005 champions league win for ages. You might be one of the more measured ones but Liverpool seem to have an abundance of annoyingly loud tit fans.

Arsenal in dire need of the winter break I think, get the new players involved and a proper crack at the pre-season Arteta never had. Even if they don't win or even lose here can't deny the peformances arent much improved.

Apparently Watford's Joao Pedro is a nonce: https://www.mirror.co.uk/sport/football/news/watford-star-joao-pedro-dating-21414368

[John Arne]

Did I just see the Arsenal assistant manger with a pair of sunglasses clipped onto the front of his t-shirt?

[phonics]

THIRTEEN draws.

[niko_cee]

Did I just see the Arsenal assistant manger with a pair of sunglasses clipped onto the front of his t-shirt?

Yeah, I was wondering what was going on there as well.

[SincereTheRebel]

THIRTEEN draws.

Its not that bad.

[SincereTheRebel]

:D


https://youtu.be/IPVYpFuENE8

[mugbull]

Is footybite down for others too? Any alternatives?

[mugbull]

Found something

[John Arne]

That's a red, surely?

[bruhnaldo]

THIRTEEN draws.

always drives me nuts cause I always imagine "if only we found what 5-6 goals out of all these draws we'd win the fuckin league!" (though that wouldn't be the case this season, mind).

[phonics]

If you split them half and half, they'd be third.

[niko_cee]

That VAR delay is insane. What if City had scored in the interim? Would it have been disallowed in favour of them having a penalty?

[mugbull]

That VAR delay is insane. What if City had scored in the interim? Would it have been disallowed in favour of them having a penalty?

Yeah this is the absolute worst use of VAR i’ve ever seen. Fucking hell

[bruhnaldo]

I'm confused how football works tbh

[bruhnaldo]

I mean Lloris has certainly fouled Sterling right?

[niko_cee]

All worth it for that Mike Dean yellow card walkabout. Shame he didn't end it at Sterling, having already bypassed him on the outbound leg.

And no, that was the most looking for it of Harry Kane specials on the part of Sterling. Never a penalty. He was on his way down before what little contact there was.

Lloris well off his line as well. :harold:

[SincereTheRebel]

Yeah this is the absolute worst use of VAR I’ve ever seen. Fucking hell

In the Spanish second divison today with girona vs fuenlabrada

67 - sends off player A for a high boot
69 - goes to VAR
70 - referee overturns decision
71 - had to wait for player A to come back on as he went down the tunnel
72 - player A gets sent off again as he came on and went head2head with opponent players

:cab:

[Gray Fox]

If you split Liverpool into 2 teams of 'Liverpool Home' and 'Liverpool Away' then Liverpool Home would be in 5th with 12 games in hand.

Madness.

[Giggles]

If you split Liverpool into 2 teams of 'Liverpool Home' and 'Liverpool Away' then Liverpool Home would be in 5th with 12 games in hand.

Madness.

Have to be the best team in the modern era (since sky invented the game).

[niko_cee]

City must be approaching some sort of record on the missed penalties front, although I keep thinking Sterling missed that one against Wolves which didn't count.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

City :harold:

What the fuck is Lloris doing though?

[Gray Fox]

I never want this season to end.

[Spikey M]

Lol

[mugbull]

Harry Winks has started to grow on me these past few months

[Gray Fox]

I suspect Mourinho will absolutely be loving this.

[Giggles]

Might as well take what he can get these days.

[John Arne]

Do City know that they are 2-0 down? Passing around at the back when you are 4-0 is fine - but when you need a goal - perhaps play it forward once in a while.

[Spikey M]

1223998120759123968?s=19

[Giggles]

Quality.

1223693011852386307

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Uche :D

[Gray Fox]

Every time I've seen that Cancelo he's been dire.

[phonics]

Fifty Five Million quid. I have to assume there was something incredibly dodgy about where that money ended up going.

I just saw that Angelino who they let go on a free and bought back a year later for 16 million is now at Leipzig on loan. Another eyebrow raiser.

[Gray Fox]

Also if Liverpool win the next 6 games running, they'll win the league at Goodison park, with a trip to the Emptihad just after to receive the guard of honour.

It's like a Liverpool fan has written this story at this point.

[phonics]

By the way, is this year the best argument against a 'league where anyone can beat anyone' is a good thing. Everyone just looks distinctly mediocre.

[Giggles]

The more the way things are falling the more I’m happy Liverpool are winning this.

[Gray Fox]

Now when you say everyone...

[niko_cee]

The xG on the two City-Spurs games this season must be something else.

Liverpool should stick in a bid for Laporte in the summer.

[phonics]

Now when you say everyone...
You spent months fretting about every game saying you didn’t look good in the last one.

[Gray Fox]

I like to think I've turned the corner. Full on enjoyment mode now.

[bruhnaldo]

Can't wait for the next 2-3 months where they wax poetic about the days they didn't think all of this could really be possible.

[niko_cee]

Wax lyrical?

Maybe not.

It is odd watching games from a non-terrified perspective. It is obviously a good thing, but there is something in the dread.

[phonics]

Just lose one game please. It's all I ask. Just one.

[niko_cee]

Maybe they'll lose to Arsenal towards the end of the season.

You'd have to think that if they go far into the Champions League then they'll rotate heavily. That's the main reason City racked up their mammoth points total that season, they had nothing better to do.

[Jimmy Floyd]

They will lose one later on when they start resting people for the Champions League. Unless they prioritise their league record over a seventh cup, which would be mental.

[-james-]

The xG on the two City-Spurs games this season must be something else.

Liverpool should stick in a bid for Laporte in the summer.

City took over 30 shots in the Spurs area and scored twice, Spurs took 3 in the City area and scored four.

Won't see many bigger statistical anomalies than the second best team in the league winning it by twenty points.

[Mike]

Wax lyrical?

Maybe not.

It is odd watching games from a non-terrified perspective. It is obviously a good thing, but there is something in the dread.

It’s the not having to flinch whenever someone has a shot that gets me, gotten so used to duff keepers recently that it’s refreshing.

[phonics]

Its not that bad.

I want 19.

[Yevrah]

:D


https://youtu.be/IPVYpFuENE8

The fucking state of him.

[niko_cee]

City took over 30 shots in the Spurs area and scored twice, Spurs took 3 in the City area and scored four.

Won't see many bigger statistical anomalies than the second best team in the league winning it by twenty points.

Almost as if statistical analysis doesn't really provide much useful insight.

On the xG thing, I am still fascinated by it. Is the player who has the chance factored into the equation? I assume it should be, but then you're just delving even further into the realms of the subjective, which kind of undermines the whole idea of the thing.

My earlier penalty pondering led me to this website (https://www.myfootballfacts.com/premier-league/all-time-premier-league/premier_league_penalty_statistics/) and, I don't know how accurate all that is, but up until the turn of the millennium there look like there were about 5 missed penalties in the whole league per season on average. Even accounting for the fact that there are now more penalties the conversion rate seems to have tanked. Is that the 'keeper being allowed to move on his line, is it stats men predicting which way to dive (although the misses have gone up exponentially as well), is it modern players being gutless wankers? From 2005 onwards it's mental.

[igor_balis]

That period where they SEETHED themselves to death over all things Stoke could be seen as having foreshadowed the referendum result.

Tbf stoke fans booing Aaron Ramsey for having his leg broken by ryan shawcross is still my personal favourite of this genre.

[Lewis]

Just lose one game please. It's all I ask. Just one.

Won thirty-seven, dropped points to a toilet United. :harold:

[Gray Fox]

My earlier penalty pondering led me to this website (https://www.myfootballfacts.com/premier-league/all-time-premier-league/premier_league_penalty_statistics/) and, I don't know how accurate all that is, but up until the turn of the millennium there look like there were about 5 missed penalties in the whole league per season on average. Even accounting for the fact that there are now more penalties the conversion rate seems to have tanked. Is that the 'keeper being allowed to move on his line, is it stats men predicting which way to dive (although the misses have gone up exponentially as well), is it modern players being gutless wankers? From 2005 onwards it's mental.

I think the general standard of goalkeeping has improved. Obviously the top dogs are a cut above, but those playing for lower sides are at least in my mind, better than their counterparts of near 20 years ago.

Also helping is the fact that all of the takers penalties are able to be seen on demand, so a keeper could spend a session or two brushing up on their opponent before a game comes up.

[Yevrah]

My earlier penalty pondering led me to this website (https://www.myfootballfacts.com/premier-league/all-time-premier-league/premier_league_penalty_statistics/) and, I don't know how accurate all that is, but up until the turn of the millennium there look like there were about 5 missed penalties in the whole league per season on average. Even accounting for the fact that there are now more penalties the conversion rate seems to have tanked. Is that the 'keeper being allowed to move on his line, is it stats men predicting which way to dive (although the misses have gone up exponentially as well), is it modern players being gutless wankers? From 2005 onwards it's mental.

It's younger Millennials/the Gen Z generation, they're mostly soft as shit. Also explains why there are so few leaders these days and why Mourinho's ability to manage has fallen off a cliff.

I came up with this theory in the pub while pissed last week and I'm sticking to it.

[Kikó]

It's younger Millennials/the Gen Z generation, they're mostly soft as shit. Also explains why there are so few leaders these days and why Mourinho's ability to manage has fallen off a cliff.

I came up with this theory in the pub while pissed last week and I'm sticking to it.

Are you still pissed?

[Yevrah]

Are you still pissed?

Happy to take constructive criticism as to why it's wrong.

[-james-]

Almost as if statistical analysis doesn't really provide much useful insight.

The point of statistics isn't to mirror reality. The insight in this instance is basically that City would more often than not win the league if you ran this season again.



On the xG thing, I am still fascinated by it. Is the player who has the chance factored into the equation? I assume it should be, but then you're just delving even further into the realms of the subjective, which kind of undermines the whole idea of the thing.

It is generally not. There are very few players who over or underperform xG by more than 20% (https://twitter.com/footballfactman/status/1195270252004818944) so the effect isn't huge. Teams with better players do generally outperform their xG though, similarly Allison has meant Liverpool have absolutely beasted their xG against this season.

It really is just a more rigorous version of "City were unlucky today, on another day they score those chances and win".

[Lewis]

He says, pleading with the bailiffs as they empty his flat.

[Yevrah]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GfB4KXGJegU

The retraction at he start of this is something else.

Oh and Sir Henry Winter's on it too.

[mugbull]

Without about as much objectivity and proof as Yevrah, I claim that Gen Z are the greatest leaders out of any generation in history.

Conversion ranked has tanked because keepers have gotten better

[niko_cee]

Jesus, it just goes on and on.

:D

What the hell was said? Was that mook even chairing it? I thought I saw a bit of it and it had the lady presenter.

[Yevrah]

The one who chaired it is mysteriously off this week.

And it wasn't that bad, just very stupid. Using phrases like "everyone's got their fingers in the till" was daft.

[Jimmy Floyd]

I think Jonny Liew was on the last one, which normally increases the libel percentage by about four million.

[Yevrah]

Yeah, he was the one saying fingers had been in tills. The moron.

[SincereTheRebel]

Daniel made his debut this weekend playing 1 minute in a 1-1 draw.

https://www.bbc.co.uk/sport/football/51350804

[niko_cee]

That Sky apology thing got me to thinking about Gary Neville getting all chippy when the sky presenter bod gave it the 'those are Gary's views' corporate line earlier in the season. Was that after the alleged racism at the Spurs-Chelsea game? Which apparently never happened. They should make Nevile do a montage apology for that seeing as presenterman was apparently right to try and be somewhat equivocal.

[Gray Fox]

Very encouraging play from the youth team so far. I suspect Shrewsbury will pick them off on the counter with wiser heads, but good to see the effort.

[Shindig]

Half expected him to miss that. :D

[Gray Fox]

Shrewsbury with more fouls on Curtis Jones than shots. Pretty dominant from the youngsters so far and the visitors have started getting rougher with them.

[Smjffy]

1224798807575212037

:drool:

1224793884200460290

:drool: :drool:

[phonics]

The first one goes to absolutely nobody and the second one he goes down way too easily and clutches his untouched face.

[Gray Fox]

And in those 2 clips he's still done more than half the Arsenal team this year.

[Smjffy]

Third one will be a screamer into the top corner. Or at least we can only hope.

Very good effort in the first half but we need to create a little more. Fully anticipating Shrewsbury to nick one but so far so good.

[Pepe]

Nothing like SkIllz that end up in lost possession.

[SvN]

He'll be at Charlton by the time he's 23 and in non-league by 25.

[Gray Fox]

LiVARpool rides again.

[niko_cee]

How was that Shrewsbury goal offside? Isn't the guy at the bottom playing him on?

[Shindig]

This game misses Joelinton.

[Lewis]

How was that Shrewsbury goal offside? Isn't the guy at the bottom playing him on?

The lad who finishes it has his fingertips in front of the last defender when the first shot goes in.

EDIT: I didn't even see the defender below them. How have they missed that?

[Mike]

Remember when we disrespected the cup by winning! Easy that. :lol:

[Shindig]

Fuck this Earth.

[Smjffy]

:D Fucking boss!

[niko_cee]

The lad who finishes it has his fingertips in front of the last defender when the first shot goes in.

EDIT: I didn't even see the defender below them. How have they missed that?

Apparently it's something in the build up, but fuck knows what. It must go back to before when that replay starts as there's nothing ostensibly wrong with all that. The guy who eventually scores is offside when the first ball is played down the line, but there are several intervening events before he touches it so it can't be that, can it?

[Giggles]

Fuck this Earth.

Heard Kelly’s was a peach.

[Shindig]

They were both good strikes. As soon as Joelinton went off, we had nothing to aim for. Nobody wanted to take that role up.

[Gray Fox]

Absolutely amazing. The kids took Shrewsbury head on and didn't flinch. Every one of them ran themselves into the ground.

Curtis Jones is going to be a star.

[Smjffy]

Absolutely amazing. The kids took Shrewsbury head on and didn't flinch. Every one of them ran themselves into the ground.

Curtis Jones is going to be a star.

Everyone including....


Van Der Berg really is a terrible player, youngster or not. .

JA, your doubts should be firmly erased my friend. :cool:

[phonics]

Well done on a truly ridiculous over-reaction. It's a bottom half League 1 team at home :cab:

That Van Den Berg lad cost more than their record signing.

[Shindig]

Phew. Atsu made a big difference. Fully expect the baggies to turn us over but we're there.

[bruhnaldo]

Absolutely amazing. The kids took Shrewsbury head on and didn't flinch. Every one of them ran themselves into the ground.

Curtis Jones is going to be a star.

You've won 1-0 on an own goal after a legit goal was seemingly incorrectly ruled out.

[Smjffy]

You've won 1-0 on an own goal after a legit goal was seemingly incorrectly ruled out.

LiVARpool init.

https://i.ibb.co/XyG048j/EP9vgr-MX0-AMqwrl.jpg

[Ian]

I'd be astonished if these Liverpool youths don't win a joint, 11-way Ballon D'or inside five years.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Absolutely amazing. The kids took Shrewsbury head on and didn't flinch.

Today Shrewsbury; tomorrow Ludlow. Soon, all of Shropshire shall be theirs.

[Smjffy]

Well done on a truly ridiculous over-reaction. It's a bottom half League 1 team at home :cab:

It doesn't matter how you try and present it. Youngest team in our entire history playing perhaps the biggest match of their career thus far against a team who supposedly felt cheated whilst knowing the entire planet seemingly wanted you to lose.

It's more the manner in which they went about it that was impressive. Our playing style is instilled throughout every age group and it showed.

[Ian]

Is it too early for knighthoods?

EDIT: For him as well, why not.

[Smjffy]

What is it with Newcastle fans and dicks, Shinners?

1224829289943703553

[John Arne]

Am I missing something, or did once again the commentators call 'Neco' 'Nico'? Surely it's pronounced Neck-o, no?

[Ian]

I mean some of them are still pronouncing Solskjaer wrong after two decades so let's not get our hopes up about them correcting their error.

[igor_balis]

Wow what a historic achievement from the mighty liverpool youngsters, actually feel humbled to be alive for an event of that magnitude.

[Manc]

Is the demise of the cup in part due to the BBC consistently selecting shit games?

[bruhnaldo]

It doesn't matter how you try and present it. Youngest team in our entire history playing perhaps the biggest match of their career thus far against a team who supposedly felt cheated whilst knowing the entire planet seemingly wanted you to lose.

It's more the manner in which they went about it that was impressive. Our playing style is instilled throughout every age group and it showed.

Lmao fuckin hell.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Is the demise of the cup in part due to the BBC consistently selecting shit games?

I would say it is entirely due to the cup representing a much lesser % of the total money available in football. I honestly don't think there is a single other reason except for that.

[Shindig]

It's just dawned on me we've went to the Sixth Round in my football watching life than I ever realised. For me, it's not the money that's devalued the FA Cup but the way it's presented. Wembley semi-finals are dumb, playing the final on an evening instead of a sunny May afternoon, etc. And terrestrial TV doesn't devote three hours worth of build up to it any more.

[Smjffy]

Lmao fuckin hell.

You disagree where?

It was the youngster Liverpool side in history.
It was the biggest match of their careers to date (most, at least, perhaps not those that beat Everton)
Shrewsbury did feel 'cheated'.
Everyone was hoping Liverpool would lose because disrespect etc yaddy yaddah
The manner they went about the victory was indeed impressive
It was the same style of play we see from the first team, perhaps without the CB's spraying long direct balls up top.

:sorry:

[Giggles]

Letting Arsenal and Tottenham play that semi at Wembley in 1991 was the beginning of the end.

(Though really it’s the money).

[Smjffy]

It's just dawned on me we've went to the Sixth Round in my football watching life than I ever realised. For me, it's not the money that's devalued the FA Cup but the way it's presented. Wembley semi-finals are dumb, playing the final on an evening instead of a sunny May afternoon, etc. And terrestrial TV doesn't devote three hours worth of build up to it any more.

I don't think it's even that. Those older than ourselves it would be more tradition, those around our age it was the next viable trophy after the league and those younger, it's just a shitty domestic cup and most have seen European glory before FA Cup glory. Unless you support Arsenal, of course.

[Disco]

Plenty of little things have devalued the FA Cup but none of them would matter in the slightest if you got a giant heap of cash for winning it.

[Shindig]

Qualifying for Europe used to be that pot of gold.

[Smjffy]

Qualifying for Europe used to be that pot of gold.

Which begs the question, when the Europa Conference starts, just how much of a back seat will FA Cup taken?

And the league for that matter. "No, you finish 8th, our squad won't cope, no you, no, you."

[igor_balis]

I know why it would never happen, and the fair arguments against it, but I'd love the 4th champs league spot to go to the fa cup winners.

[Smjffy]

I know why it would never happen, and the fair arguments against it, but I'd love the 4th champs league spot to go to the fa cup winners.

It wouldn't really change anything though, would it? Wigan and Portsmouth are the only two who would have competed. I might be wrong but haven't the winners always been or ended up in the Champions League anyway? At least in the last 15-20 years.

[bruhnaldo]

But like the Europa League it would put a different light on the FA Cup, plus give whoever the odd out of the Top 6 even more incentive, especially if they've had a really bad season leading up to January for example.

[bruhnaldo]

CL: Top 3, FA Cup winner (Top 4 if FA Cup winner is 1-3)
EL: FA Cup finalist, League cup winner, 5th place

:D?

[Shindig]

I mean, do we have issues with the top teams winning cup competitions or .... Say what you want about Man City but their impact on the Premier League made the cups more valuable for the rest of the top sides. Hell, the losing finalists haven't always been top sides themselves. Watford, Villa, Palace, Stoke, Portsmouth, Hull all in the last decade.

[Jimmy Floyd]

It makes total sporting sense, in 4-qualifier countries, for the 4th spot to go to the cup winners. It would even make some more money overall by introducing the climactic jeopardy of win-or-bust football.

The reason it will never happen is that the top clubs wouldn't want to risk losing that revenue to Watford or whoever based on the results of one game. For the top 6/7, it's a better percentage to come top 4 than it is to win the cup.

[niko_cee]

Most of the 'top clubs' aren't going to finish in the top 4 so maybe now's the time to strike that deal.

[Mellberg]

That needs to happen. It's worked wonders for the Europa League.

[Disco]

The Premier League would block it in a heartbeat.

[Smjffy]

Would it not also effect the countries four spots when the likes of Watford, Villa, Palace, Stoke, Portsmouth, Hull etc get knocked out at the first hurdle each year?

[Mellberg]

You've got a European Cup winner in that list kidda.

[Lewis]

Think of the Goals, Skills & Assists Neymar or Bayern Munich could stick on Watford in the group stage. That would easily double the broadcast revenues.

[phonics]

Some Newcastle fan has been banned for life for getting his knob out and helicoptering it at opposition fans.

Meanwhile a Bournemouth fan has been banned for 3 years or racist chanting.

[Jimmy Floyd]

I honestly don't see the problem with dicks/tits/vag/whatever in a non-sexual context. Get over yourselves.

[niko_cee]

Winner of the Copa Del Rey for the Champions League?

[John Arne]

Quality from Walcott and Bernard.

Commentators absolute indignation that loan players aren't allowed to play against their parent clubs always a surprises me - seems somewhat logical to me.

[Ian]

If it wasn't a rule clubs would put it in the contract anyway, wouldn't they?

[SincereTheRebel]

1226136536514691074?s=09[/url]

[Mellberg]

Strange. Even stranger because they all either hit the woodwork or are blazed wildly over. It's like the definition of insanity in penalty shootout form.

[Gray Fox]

I see little arms was up to his old tricks again today. And by old tricks I mean being shite.

[John Arne]

Crewe with a 98th minute winner :D

[Giggles]

Did I just hear on the news that Everton are edging towards the CL places? I thought they were heading for relegation last time I noticed.

[Spikey M]

If I've saved Southend then the OP would suggest I'm also going to save football as a whole.

Annnnnd we're shit again.

RIP football.

[Ian]

Well I'm even so far so let's not jump to any conclusions.

[John Arne]

Leverkusen-Dortmund is a cracking game. Currently 2-3.
http://60fps.live/bayer-leverkusen-vs-borussia-dortmund/?utm_source=footybite

EDIT: VAR overruled. 2-2

[niko_cee]

I've been watching for 5 minutes and both sides have breached suicidally high lines to get through on the goalkeeper.

Havertz misses a sitter and Dortmund go up the other end and score.

:cab:

[John Arne]

Yup, defending has been awful by both. Agadou is a proper bombscare. Think both teams have hit the post twice each.

[Gray Fox]

What on Earth is this game?

[Shindig]

Man, the Pearson train's derailed.

[John Arne]

Achraf Hakimi is such a good player. Shame he belongs to Real Madrid.

[SincereTheRebel]

Verona beat Juve 2-1 which means inter can go top if they beat AC later.

[Giggles]

Looking at West Brom trying to take that corner, it should have been called off too.

[Giggles]

Fuck we really need a player like Molumby to kick on.

[John Arne]

:/

1226509259875192833

[niko_cee]

Werner's just missed an absolute sitter against The Gestapo.

Deary me.

[niko_cee]

I love whoever's doing co-comms alongside, I think, Derek Rae. Has to be the most German person going. There is no nuance.

Edit: apparently it's Jens Lehmann.

[niko_cee]

Ashley Young starting at fullback in the land of catenaccio and all that jazz is heart warming stuff.

[niko_cee]

lol at Inter

And I see things are going well for the Barca Binman on his old stomping ground.

[Mike]

Buggering my bet up the pair of them!

[niko_cee]

Things are looking up then.

Cracking hit by Brozovic.

[niko_cee]

Very up.

[SincereTheRebel]

Ridiculous header. 3-2' inter

[niko_cee]

Mental game. Until he popped up with an assist for the second I had no idea Sanchez was playing, and now he's off to be replaced by Eriksen.

[SincereTheRebel]

Sanchez always looks strange to me and I don't know why. My mom always used to tell me never to trust a man who does not have any hair on his face. Maybe that's the reason...

[Lewis]

Why don't Barcelona just get a proper manager in? Arsene Wenger would probably win the Champions' League with that lot.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Most things there seemed to be based around presidential politics. Thank God we don't have that. Chopper Harris running a populist campaign against the ghost of Matthew Harding every three years.