Apprentice 2019: Can blind people be just as smug?

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Yep.

[thommo]

One of the best tasks so far last night, I could barely watch at times. Lottie scolding Dean and claiming "well I can take 3 plates actually" whilst the food was sitting there ready to be served was incredible. :D

Fantastic to see the little fat posh rat fuck off out of the show too, what an absolute bellend he was.

[Ian]

I haven't watched You're Fired yet but I'm gonna guess he didn't have a great sense of humour about himself.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

I don't know if I should watch You're Fired.

On the one hand he's a massive tool and I don't really want to see more of him. On the other hand Tom Allen should royally take the piss out of him.

[Ian]

Yeah any good You're Fired host makes the dickheads look worse and will bring the nice ones in on the joke. And I've harped on about this enough but Allen is so much better now than he was at first

They do tend to choose well though. Jack Dee the only shit one since I've been watching.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

I've really liked Allen.

[Lofty]

https://i.imgur.com/migUE9O.jpg

Roller coaster guy is the right thing to search for. Some of his bantmates created a twitter or something for him.

I fucking come back lurking for the Mourinho bants and see this :D

[Shindig]

It's your gift to us.

[Pepe]

Lofty. :cool:

The tree still a thing?

[Ian]

I fucking come back lurking for the Mourinho bants and see this :D

:D

Had a good lol at that.

[Lofty]

Lofty. :cool:

The tree still a thing?

I am married to a new tree now.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

And TTH wasn't invited?

Wanker.

[Lofty]

And TTH wasn't invited?

Wanker.

To be fair it was in Greece so the majority of people weren't invited which went down like one of Magic's porn recommendations.

[Ian]

Music production. This should be good.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Little Mix? Fucking hell Dean.

[Browning]

I don’t want to call it a talent.... but it is a talent.

[Ian]

Is Lottie ever not seething?

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Thomas wants to cave Marianne's skull in.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

I've been in the music industry for 15 years now :D

Fuck off.

[Ian]

I've been in the music industry for 15 years now :D

Is that purely because she plays the fucking viola?

She's a pissing librarian.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Is that purely because she plays the fucking viola?

She's a pissing librarian.

I'd have loved if one of them called her out on it.

"Sorry, how old are you?"

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Just cut the whole song :D

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Oh great, get in a pro musician cut all his lines and have someone shit lay lyrics on the track.

[Browning]

Lottie better win this. The others are fucking clueless.

[Ian]

Thomas and Marianne playing into my prediction here.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

"No, they like me more..."

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Lewis fucked that hard :D

[Ian]

Good God what the fuck was Lewis doing? :D

[7om]

Claude in the club :D

He looked like he was going to top himself.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

We can do £525
Fine, you've twisted my arm £500

The fuck?

[Browning]

I hope they lose by that £25 now.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

It's annoying how much Lottie is pretending to like it.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Thomas should go but Alan clearly likes him and/or he has a good business plan so Marianne to go.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Karen throwing a mean right hook to Pamela there.

[7om]

Fragrances next week, you say?

https://youtu.be/GrEa3zUO2V8

[Yevrah]

The "shit" and "anyway, I'll leave it with you" are televisual gold.

[Smjffy]

The "shit" and "anyway, I'll leave it with you" are televisual gold.

Nothing beats the trampoline episode. No idea what season, though.

[Ian]

Thomas spoiled my prediction, the big mental twat. He looked fucking heartbroken though.

Lewis and Dean are both absolutely diabolical.


Fragrances next week, you say?

https://youtu.be/GrEa3zUO2V8

One of my favourite all time Apprentice moments.

The entire QVC task was also incredible.

And the fucking octopus.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3mljhDpT54A

I had forgotten just how good it was.

You could get that octopus and stretch it even further.
Well I think the main question then is, how stretchy is an octopus.

[Ian]

Even thinking about it now I feel the need to remind myself that they bought A FUCKING OCTOPUS.

It makes me happy.

[Browning]

Even if she loses, Pamela should be safe as houses. Those two guys were both fucking pathetic.

[wullie]

Odd that they focus on one thicko packaging of indepedent parfam but 'breath in the scent' on the other gets away with it.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

I forgot it was Wednesday until about 20 minutes ago so watching now.

Has Lewis THE MARKETING GURU gotten anything right? He always seems to be really wide of the mark.

Edit: Power is calling :D

[7om]

I spent the last fifteen minutes of that episode drooling over Pamela in that orange dress.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

I spent the last fifteen minutes of that episode drooling over Pamela in that orange dress.

She's by far the best looking in the season.

Stunned that it took this long for Dean to get punted.

[Browning]

I spent the last fifteen minutes of that episode drooling over Pamela in that orange dress.

Yep, she’s incredible.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

https://www.mirror.co.uk/3am/celebrity-news/posh-apprentice-star-ryan-mark-21026676

What a prick.

[Shindig]

A complex man of £1k caviar and £1.99 Happy Meals.

[Ian]

Lottie made about 79 different facial expressions in that that all gave me the heave. The 'delight' at mention of the Queen's perfume, the barely concealed glee when the other team were getting told off. I hope somebody rips her inside out next week.

[thommo]

Dean finally getting the boot at least makes up for the fact I have to watch that preening little cunt Lottie again next week. I couldn't name one thing he'd done correctly in the 10 weeks so far.

[Ian]

There are people who've gone weeks ago who might have been a bit rubbish but were definitely not worse than him. He is useless.

[SvN]

Dean finally getting the boot at least makes up for the fact I have to watch that preening little cunt Lottie again next week. I couldn't name one thing he'd done correctly in the 10 weeks so far.

It's amazing that he got so close to the interviews. Fluked it twice when he was PM and never seemed to be in the bottom 3.

[Ian]

He couldn't have looked more delighted when he got the chance to stick the boot into Lewis as well which is some going from a guy who couldn't string a sentence about the smell he was INTEGRAL to together.

[SvN]

Awkwardly pulling those crumpled sticks from his inside jacket pocket was so bad :D

[Ian]

He genuinely looked like he was going to stick his lip out and have a sulk over neither of them wanting to leave him on his own as well.

[thommo]

It's amazing that he got so close to the interviews. Fluked it twice when he was PM and never seemed to be in the bottom 3.

It was an utter miracle they won either of those tasks when he was PM. If they'd lost either, he was a goner. I can't understand what supposed business acumen he had to get on the damn show.

[Ian]

Well his agency apparently has actual professional crickets on it so it was probably just basically "give me loads of money and I can work on getting more high profile clients."

Although the website is fucking awful, with the player names popping up in a font colour that makes them barely readable.
http://www.fineedgecricket.co.uk/#our-players

You do feel like on Dragons Den they'd have asked him why the fuck he needs their money and to sod off.

[SvN]

:D

I think my favourite part of the website is how their "Goals and Values" have absolutely no relationship with the icons representing them.

https://i.imgur.com/gmErOQn.png

[Ian]

I mean it starts off sort-of working and then getting increasingly irrelevant as they go along.

"Diamonds are valuable that'll do. Global. Er, compass? You need a compass to know what direction you're heading in AROUND THE GLOBE. Great, fucking nailed that. Personal approach..... er.... well we've got this one that could be.... letters? Okay. And I want this anchor one in because I want a boat."

"Good job, boss! Now you get back to your crayons and we'll put this on the website for you."

[Ian]

Interviews tonight, lads. Last good episode of the series before what is now the utter pointlessness of the final.

[Giggles]

Interviews tonight, lads. Last good episode of the series before what is now the utter pointlessness of the final.

Good man. Haven’t watched much of this series but this is always a must.

[Ian]

Hoping Lottie gets an absolute shoeing.

[thommo]

Lottie has been banned from appearing on the spin-off show, either You're Fired or You're Hired. I guess that kind of confirms she wont win, otherwise what are they going to be talking about for 30 minutes after the final?

With the current batch of fucking idiots, there appears to be a lot more 'drama' being thrown around on social media.

[Ian]

So looking at it the BBC apparently received formal complaints from other candidates and threatened to take her fee for appearing on the show off her. She seems to be claiming she's decided not to appear on those to "take a stance", which sounds like a lie she's spinning to make herself feel better.

However my favourite part of the interview is her saying in one breath she's been on anti-depressants and anxiety meds, etc. in the past and then she's saying that if anybody's suffering because of things she's said they need to "toughen up."

Get her in the fucking sea.

[SvN]

I feel like Claude has been holding back waiting for the interviews to give her a proper kicking.

[Giggles]

What's she done to be banned?

[SvN]

Just be a horrible know-it-all the entire show. Nothing's ever her fault, she's brilliant at everything (she claimed to be an expert in wine because she helped her mate choose the wine for her wedding) and she's got 30 years of experience in business despite being 19.

[Ian]

She's also a perfume expert because she helped her friends choose theirs. And she got into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame because she played the oboe once or whatever the fuck else.

She's a nightmare.


What's she done to be banned?

Accused variously of racism and transphobia, including 'formal complaints' from other candidates. Probably throw bullying into the mix. As I said, she's claiming she has chosen not to go on them. But then she would, wouldn't she.

[wullie]

Is the mean Scottish fella doing the interviews again? Big fan of him.

[Ian]

From the clips last week it'll be:
- Mike Soutar, the mean Scottish fella
- Claudine somebody, the woman I'm not sure if she counts as shameful lustage or not.
- Claude, obvs. (Might watch him dismantle Solomon ahead of tonight's episode.)
- The other woman whose name I also don't know but who tends to annoy me almost as much as the candidates.

Who was it who called the Sandhurst twat a parasite? Was that Mean Mike Soutar?

[Browning]

Claudine and Pamela in the same room to be the highlight of the series.

[thommo]

I'm with you Ian, can't stand the 4th interviewer. Who did she replace from past series?

[Browning]

Did she replace Margaret or was there someone in between? Or did Karen do it before?

Edit- Margaret came back for a few years and then was replaced by Ricky Martin for one year before Linda took over.

[thommo]

Apparently she (Linda) replaced Margaret, and it's been 10 years since Karren did the interviews. :moop: Can't believe it's been that long.

Ricky Martin did it for 1 year between Margaret and Linda. That's been wiped from my memory.

[SvN]

I'm glad I'm not the one one who thinks Linda is horrendous. Not entertaining, she's just contradictory, rude for the sake of being rude, and downright boring.

[Ian]

Yeah they're clearly all told to be cunts* but Linda, if that's her name, often doubles down on it by seeming to just be outright wrong as well.

* Mean Mike is usually good value for jumping up and down on somebody then when speaking to Sugar after going "Yeah actually I thought she did quite well and has a reasonable plan."

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Claude is going to fist Lottie and it's going to great.

[Ian]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7_9IlYOgSLQ

Solomon's suspicious reaction when Claude says his application filled him with pleasure. He knows that's not the end of it. THEN he allows himself to start believing it's going well, and then the sucker punch comes.


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nv511qmtZfE

Fucking hell I'd forgotten how bad this was. :D

[SvN]

Yeah they're clearly all told to be cunts* but Linda, if that's her name, often doubles down on it by seeming to just be outright wrong as well.

* Mean Mike is usually good value for jumping up and down on somebody then when speaking to Sugar after going "Yeah actually I thought she did quite well and has a reasonable plan."

If Mike is the Scottish one, he always seems to have some sort of evidence of the candidate lying on their CV. Didn't he phone a university and find out someone had never studied there?

[Ian]

Sounds plausible. He definitely chased up on some sort of certification or accreditation that somebody had put on their website and hadn't got.

[SvN]

I also have memories of him checking companies house because they said they were the owner of a company, when it turned out they were a minority shareholder.

[Ian]

He does tend to be the one who does his homework and hits them with uncomfortable facts.

Linda whatserface just feels like she's going WELL I FUCKING HATE IT AND I HATE YOU WHAT D'YOU THINK ABOUT THAT, EH?

She's shite when she appears on You're Fired as well.

[Browning]

The first video I found of Mike is him telling a lady she doesn’t own a website that she claimed to own because he’s bought it and telling her to make him an offer. :D

[Ian]

Oh Christ I'd forgotten that. I need to find that.

EDIT

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PbeKCzBt-Ao

Hahahaha. God I love the interviews.

[Ian]

It's INTERVIEWS TIME MUHFUCKAS.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Power is calling...

[Giggles]

It's INTERVIEWS TIME MUHFUCKAS.

:joy:

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

She spelt pheasant wrong, the fucking peasant.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

21 stories isn't a skyscraper, is it?

Alan chatting bollocks.

[Browning]

Did she walk out? Amazing.

[Ian]

Claudine. :wub:

[Ian]

Did she walk out? Amazing.

I thought so but I think it was just the edit.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

I thought so but I think it was just the edit.

Yeah, it's a shame though. Would have been amazing had she walked.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

So Lewis is doing Club 21-35?

[Ian]

Mike. :D

I hate Linda as much as I remember.

[Giggles]

What’s this, the fucking X-Factor?

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Lewis getting rejected there was great.

[Yevrah]

This is a joke.

Ridiculously rude questions and then going soft on the one with a sob story.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Mike :drool:

[Browning]

Claude :D

[Ian]

Pamela was very clearly at it there.

Mike and Lottie was great too.

[Browning]

Mike going to the store. :D

He’s amazing.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

I feel sad about Mike getting ignored in the shop.

All he wanted was to be asked how his coffee was :(

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

"I've never seen a globe before" :D

[Ian]

Alright Pamela can fuck off. I thought she might be set for the final but she can get in the sea.

And Lewis and his globe business, Jesus Christ.

[wullie]

One of my favourites of the interview episodes was where Mike Soutar got someone to go from 'I'll have to check to see who wrote that lie' to 'I wrote that lie' in about 15 seconds.

[Ian]

One of my favourites of the interview episodes was where Mike Soutar got someone to go from 'I'll have to check to see who wrote that lie' to 'I wrote that lie' in about 15 seconds.

I vaguely remember that.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Wasn't that Bagwell?

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Nh0ZOPWewrc

It was Daniel.

[Ian]

Wasn't that Bagwell?

I hope you're not getting the name of Baggs the Brand wrong.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Pamela and Scarlett I feel.

[wullie]

Carina's always felt like a favourite but a bakery is a bit underwhelming for the skyscrapers and suits pretence of this.

[Browning]

Thomas fucking loved the bread. Of course he did.

[Giggles]

Tom Allen is fucking brutal at reading an autocue.

[thommo]

Decent round of interviews. Claude was particularly stern, but Mike again steals the show by going to the bakery, ordering something from Pamela, checking on Scarlett's qualifications and of course, the globe with Lewis.

How on earth did Lottie get through any vetting when she had no fucking costing on her business plan? I also hate how the waterworks do seem to come out, along with some sort of sob story. I just don't care, that's not important to the matter at hand.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Considering Solomon had pictures of sailboats on 1 page of his 2 page plan the vetting doesn't care.

[Smjffy]

Lottie would get it. :nodd:

I would have definitely come unstuck with the globe too. The baker who doesn't bake will struggle but Scarlett has to be favourite, no?

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Lottie would get it. :nodd:

I would have definitely come unstuck with the globe too. The baker who doesn't bake will struggle but Scarlett has to be favourite, no?
Are you attempting to start up a tour operating company though?

It was great from Mike because it was a simple request which showed that Lewis hadn't done any research into the country where he was meant to be sending 200 people on holiday.

[Ian]

The final (which will be shit, as is now tradition) is tonight lads.

Pretty sure it's been Sundays the last few years so thought I'd better warn y'all.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Almost forgot about it, thanks for the heads up.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Double barrel and the racist are back.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Dean not going last says a lot about those two.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

I didn't need to see his sex face.

[7om]

Scarlett Lily Mary Allen-Horton

Fucking hell

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Carina's advert is horseshit.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Although it's still 100 times better than Dean and his arm moving.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

What the fuck is this?

[7om]

So Carina's product is only good enough for prison food. Nice one.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

It's worth murdering for.

[Ian]

So Carina's product is only good enough for prison food. Nice one.

I was just thinking that. "Food so good you could serve it in prison."

Also if I never have to see Hyphen's o-face again that'd be great.

[7om]

I'd do terrible things to see Jemelin's tits. She's out of this world.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

I thought the whole chairs thing was practice before going into an actual car.

That's not the actual thing is it? They're at least going to add CGI?

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Fuck me, what a piece of shit that is.

[7om]

Nope, it's actually plastic chairs in a dimly lit garage. Fuck sake.

[Ian]

I thought the whole chairs thing was practice before going into an actual car.

I thought it was practice for that or before they did something on a greenscreen or something.

Fucking hell.

[Ian]

Hannah Squirrell. What a name.

[7om]

I'm sitting here laughing out loud. This show is a fucking circus.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

This is awkward.

[Ian]

Carina's pitch and answers were baaaad.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Scarlett is really composed.

[7om]

That TV advert might be one of the worst things I've seen.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

No you mong, he'd have known Panini was a football sticker album.

[Ian]

Scarlett winning this, then? The adverts were dogshit but they're irrelevant to the decision.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

He really liked Carina's shitty advert.

Has to be Scarlett though. Recruitment is always big, her business is already better than Carina's, she has a really good USP and she smashed her presentation.

[Browning]

The story they pitched for Carina’s ad was great. He could have escaped but he stayed to eat the bread, hence the “worth the time” tag. Then they turned it into they were giving it to him because it was his release day? What?

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

What the fuck?

[Ian]

Well, shows what I fucking know.

[Browning]

It’s 10:03 and I’ve already seen about 2 minutes 30 too much of you’re hired.

[Ian]

You're Hired is always shite. I don't even bother.

Too much fawning over Sugar for a start.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Yep.

I usually stop watching You're Fired about 3 weeks before the end too, not sure why though.

[Smjffy]

I thought the warning signs were there when he warned Scarlett about his other two recruitment businesses. I'm all for diversity, equality and what not but I am also of belief that woman should be judged solely on their merits and not their gender. I also find the fact she appears so emotional to be a bit of a slant again her.

Carina’s isn't a long term one either given how reliant on the family it appeared to be and the fact that it can be the best tasting bakery in the world but it'll never be Greggs, seems more reasonable to see it in a small town or village. :cool:

Overall I don't think any of the candidates were that good in this series.

[7om]

I didn’t have chance to watch the show last year and found the series on Dailymotion. Watched the first episode in Malta and this lot might be the biggest bunch of twats the show has ever seen. That northern lass with the massive lips... fucking Christ.

[Ian]

The octopus is still one of my favourite things so far.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/amp/technology-52813961

Didn't he have loads of claims on his website that were found to be false in his interview?

[Ian]

Yeah he was absolutely full of it.

[wullie]

He was pulled apart in seconds in the interviews and admitted in one episode that he didn't have a clue what he was doing, can't help but admire a neck that brass to keep doing it.

[Ian]

I'm sure it was the art one where he admitted he hadn't a clue what he was talking about but the customers were lapping up his bullshit. And then yeah, I seem to recall it was the Scots fella who dismantled his business plan in pretty short order about his hangover "cure."

[-james-]

1265601043511066626

I can't.

[Ian]

This is why Sralan Lord-Sugar gets to do the firing.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

:lol:

Fucking hell.

[wullie]

It's so strange that even experts can't explain it!

Just ask this scientician

https://i.imgur.com/kzRXu7g.gif

[Ian]

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/entertainment-arts-57761478

Claude missing the next series. Tim Campbell replacing him. I wasn't watching Apprentice yet back then so I have no thoughts on him.


The businessman had the accident in April while riding an electric bike that injured his right leg so badly doctors considered amputating it.

:|