The Marvel Films - Spoilers up to Cap'n murica TWS

[Yevrah]

Afternoon.

So after all the hype and legions of (what I suspect to be) man children claiming how great Endgame was, I've decided to run through all the Marvel films, from the beginning and in full. I've seen a few before, but none outside of phase 1 bar Ant-Man. For those not familiar, here's the list up to the end of phase 3:

https://i.postimg.cc/PrmRwQ4Z/Marvel.jpg (https://postimages.org/)

I'll be reviewing each of them as I go so there will be spoilers, but please no spoilers for any film later than the last film I've seen (which I'll list in the thread title).

Got it? Good.

EDIT: Clearly not got it, so no discussion of any films after the one listed in the thread title please, even in spoiler tags. Imagine any film beyond that listed in the thread title doesn't yet exist.

[Yevrah]

Iron Man (2008)

I'd seen this before and remembered it being bang average, but on second viewing.... it's actually pretty good.

Robert Downey Junior is great in the role and Gwyneth Paltrow and Jeff Bridges provide the eye candy - Jeff's beard and shaved head combo is marvellous. The opening in an Afghan (is it?) cave is great as Stark builds his prototype suit to escape in and with so much of the film taken up with that and him then getting the finished version to work there's little time for protracted scenes of robots hitting each other, which is nice.

A solid 7/10 overall.

[Ian]

Maybe get the notion that they're only enjoyed by whatever you deem to be man-children out of your head first. They range from genuinely excellent to a bit crap. I don't personally think there's a proper shitfest among them.

Iron Man is a decent film held together by an excellent performance from Downey Jr.

[Mike]

Having watched them all, they go from being bang average to 100% deserving of the hype around them.
How much time are you leaving between each?


Baz needs to do this too. Get involved lad.

[mugbull]

Why would you do this to yourself

[Gray Fox]

I think the first Iron Man is good, then there's a bit of a lull as you go through with them being okay right up to about The Winter Soldier. That film is a turning point and they become properly good after that.

The only one I've not seen is Captain Marvel, which seems to be taking ages to come out.

[Pleb]

According to the purists Thor: Dark World, The Incredible Hulk and Iron Man 2 are shit.

I can't really comment as I started with Guardians then Captain America before realising how brave and bold Disney Marvel were with their MCU storyline.

[Yevrah]

How much time are you leaving between each?

As little as possible, but am watching them with a friend so it'll take longer than if it were on my own where realistically I'd knock through them in a week.

[Yevrah]

Why would you do this to yourself

Because they're supposed to get really good, so let's see.

[Giggles]

That's a great list, never even thought of Wikipedia having it. I've seen IM1, IM2, Thor 1, bits of Captain America 1, and bits of IM3. I think I asked before but I can't find it, so what are the ones that need to be seen to get to the end with the story relatively intact?

[Pleb]

All of them.

[Yevrah]

The Incredible Hulk 2008

Fuck me, where do I start with this one - A complete mess of a film.

Firstly, it takes the inexplicable decision to remove any suspense in the build up to Edward Norton becoming the Hulk by just showing you the highlights reel of that in the opening credits, with the film actually starting with him hidden away in Brazil, part time bottler, part time scientist trying to cure himself.

Secondly, the casting is terrible. Liv Tyler can't act, Ed Norton is a shit Hulk (not that you can see much of him when he turns mind, due to the dreadful CGI) and Tim Roth still thinks he's in a Tarantino movie. There's one reasonably intriguing thread where Norton is getting help from a mysterious scientist, which sets you up to thinking "well at least he'll be good when he turns up". He isn't. But not only is he not good, he's a monstrously irritating twat. Now I think about it there wasn't a single character I was sympathetic to in the entire film.

The action sequences are terrible and have no jeopardy or pain whatsoever, a million bullets fly around the set but they can't hurt Hulk so you end up just wanting to shout at the screen "stop shooting you fucking morons", anything to stop the headache. Then because the film is so shit, you end up picking holes in minor plot points. They only have $40 to catch a bus, which is a problem at that point, but when he goes angry and wakes up in Guatemala it wasn't? Characters find each other in seconds in huge cities. There's just absolutely no continuity, presumably from the bloated mess they ended up with originally being edited to within an inch of its life.

Despite also being no longer than the other films, it drags and drags, taking an eternity to come to an end. I can't remember what the much criticised Ang Lee Hulk was like, but it must have been going some to be as bad as this.

A generous 3/10.

[SincereTheRebel]

I wanted to do something similar but it takes up so much fucking time. Ill just take your review as fact and claim ive watched them.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

I think I skipped all of the Hulk films and I didn't miss a thing.

[Yevrah]

How do you mean all of them? There's only one.

[Mike]

As little as possible, but am watching them with a friend so it'll take longer than if it were on my own where realistically I'd knock through them in a week.

See I'd give a little time between, so you don't get burnt out on the super hero good times.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

How do you mean all of them? There's only one.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hulk_(film)

Didn't realise that the Eric Bana one wasn't part of the MCU and I thought there was a third somewhere but I seem to have made that up.

[Yevrah]

See I'd give a little time between, so you don't get burnt out on the super hero good times.

Watching them at my friend's pace will hopefully help with that.

[Gray Fox]

Both Hulk films need ignoring and were considered non-canon to the MCU, but then a character from the Norton Hulk film comes back in phase 2/3 so we have to accept it.

Ruffalo is a much better guy for the job that Norton though.

[Yevrah]

It's definitely canon no? Tony Stark turns up in the bar to meet the general at the end.

And no spoilers please.

[Gray Fox]

Norton Hulk is canon. Just pretend he was Ruffalo all along and everyone has amnesia about the events of the film.

[Yevrah]

Yeah, when I was rooting through the cupboard to find the films I already owned I wasn't immediately sure it was part of anything.

[Yevrah]

That's a great list, never even thought of Wikipedia having it. I've seen IM1, IM2, Thor 1, bits of Captain America 1, and bits of IM3. I think I asked before but I can't find it, so what are the ones that need to be seen to get to the end with the story relatively intact?

Just watch them all or don't bother.

That sort of comment reminds me of a mate of mine who I otherwise dearly love, who is always on about just watching the last series of something if he's not that motivated to watch it. Which has always struck me as a dreadful idea.

[Baz]

Is it a female friend? :huhu:

[Yevrah]

Is it a female friend? :huhu:

That I'm watching them with? Yes Barry, it is.

[Giggles]

Just watch them all or don't bother.

That sort of comment reminds me of a mate of mine who I otherwise dearly love, who is always on about just watching the last series of something if he's not that motivated to watch it. Which has always struck me as a dreadful idea.

I wouldn't have anywhere near the time on my own to watch them. Would take me 3 years at least. Though you're probably right, I'd be better with a summary and then just watch the endgame one.

I'd be with your mate on not having the will to go back if a TV series is well into it's life but I wouldn't bother with the end either. It's a very very rare occasion that I wouldn't just skip any TV series once it's got to series 2 and I've missed 1.

EDIT: I've also seen one of the avengers ones, I remember after someone mentioned Ruffalo. Probably the first one.

He changes into the hulk midway through punching some big metal beast thing and making it go up in the air. Logi is the main 'villain' in that one.

[Ian]

Norton Hulk has its moments. The reason it doesn't have the origin is because it's a confused sequel to the Ang Lee one I think? Even though that's not canon.

Alternatively they just did what they'd later do with Spider-Man and go "Right lads, you know the drill, let's not piss about with the radioactive spider again."

The very last Norton scene 100% ties into Ruffalo though. Of the next few Yev has I am most curious how he sees the first Captain America because I have very different views of that from watching it the first time to a recent rewatch.

[Lewis]

I always figured the Hulk film was a rush job to re-boot the character before the first Avengers film. It is also a bit of a shit character as far as having its own film goes.

[Byron]

As someone who has already watched every MCU film, I can spare you the trouble Yev;

Ignore - Brings very little to the MCU universe and can be skipped

Incredible Hulk
Thor: The Dark World

Mediocre - Should be watched for some context but otherwise okay at best

Ant Man and the Wasp
Iron Man 2
Captain America: The Winter Soldier
Avengers: Age of Ultron

Decent - Brings a lot of context or just solid mindless fun in general

Ant Man
Guardians of the Galaxy 2
Thor
Spider-Man: Homecoming
Captain Marvel
Iron Man 1
Iron Man 3

Good - Stands on its own feet

Captain America: The First Avenger
Guardians of the Galaxy 1
Doctor Strange
The Avengers
Avengers: Infinity War

Outstanding

Thor: Ragnarok
Black Panther
Captain America: Civil War
Avengers: Endgame

[Ian]

I was about to post a small defence of Ant Man because it's good fun and Rudd is great and then I saw you've got Winter Soldier in your mediocre category.

Get your head read you lunatic, it's still probably the best thing they've done.

[Byron]

Oh don't get me wrong, Paul Rudd carries Ant-Man, anyone else and it would likely be a forgettable movie.

Winter Solder spoiler below


Winter Soldier might need a re-watch, but it left precisely no impression on me besides 'Hey it's Bucky! Now he's trying to kill everyone!' I'm aware I may be very much in the minority, but the fact that I remember more about every other movie is telling.

[John]

That's a pretty egregious spoiler.

[Yevrah]

I fucking knew this would happen, thank fuck I didn't see it.

Right, no discussion of any films beyond the one listed in the thread title from this point on.

[Byron]

Whoops, typical that I wouldn't read the one rule of this thread.

[Yevrah]

:D

It was only a matter of time Byron.

[Ian]

"Reason: Literally the only rule in the thread is no spoilers "

:D

[Mike]

The only one I've not seen is Captain Marvel, which seems to be taking ages to come out.

It's out now :)

[Smjffy]

Cheers Yev. I planned on doing exactly this but didn't know the order.

[Pleb]

You lot are making me rewatching the whole MCU :sherlock:

[Gray Fox]

It's out now :)

Thanks babe <3

[Yevrah]

Iron Man 2 (2010)

After the shambles of Hulk it was nice to get back to familiar and comfy RDJ company. Not so much a film this one, more how one might imagine a propaganda piece for Tony Stark would be if he actually existed, interspersed with Mickey Rourke, who one can only imagine was in it due to him being flavour of the month at the time. Was the character he played even in the comics?

As for the rest of the cast, Sam Rockwell was irritating (as he is in almost everything he's in) and Scarlett Johansson seemed to exist primarily to be leered at (I mean seriously, some of it just wasn't on for a kids film), albeit it was nice to expand the characters in the world a bit with her introduction as Black Widow.

The end (with robots hitting each other) is shit, but on the whole it passed the time and was relatively watchable to that point.

I'll go for a 5/10, but on a different day it probably could have been a 4, with Mickey Rourke and RDJ elevating a flimsy script and plot somewhat.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Whiplash is indeed in the comics:

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Whiplash_(comics)

https://images-na.ssl-images-amazon.com/images/S/cmx-images-prod/Item/33538/FEB100616_1._SX360_QL80_TTD_.jpg

[Yevrah]

Ah, fair play. Well Rourke played him well.

And now I think about it, the scene in Monaco was excellent.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

IIRC the Rourke version is slightly different to the comics and also takes a bit of inspiration from another Russian villain too.

[Yevrah]

Thor (2011)

I should probably start by saying I liked this film, but there were a number of things that stopped it being that good. While it's alright to have nods to the real world and highlight how ridiculous superheroes are, Branagh decided to do it so often that it somewhat undermined the piece and continually takes you out of the world you're supposed to be inhabiting.

I stand to be corrected on this one too (please, no spoilers,) but I just don't like Loki as a character, he doesn't feel anywhere near threatening enough and his redemptive play at the end of the film just hammered that home.

Chris Hesworth as Thor is very swoon and I can't think of how they could have cast him any better, but wasn't overly convinced about the rest of the cast or characters. Another nod to the marvel universe with bow and arrow man was nice, but (as I've long said) when you have a Norse God it's hard to see how they'll get round every needing any of the other characters to well, do anything.

Overall there just doesn't feel as if there's enough meat on the bones for this to stand as a properly good standalone film, but on the plus side at this point (4 films in) you can really see the world take shape and the nods to the other films/characters are great.

6/10, enjoyed it.

[Lewis]

Thor gets more powerful as the films go on, but Hulk always seems a bit under-powered when (from what I understand) in the comics he can seemingly do whatever he wants. And Loki is a bit shit and gay. I think people just like Tom Hiddleston playing him a bit camp.

[Yevrah]

Captain America (2011)

Now we're talking, the best film so far and the first one that might actually be properly good.

The lead in to him becoming Captain America was great and he's a character you can really root for as a result. A proper ensemble cast as well, and the film while being good on its own also fitted excellently into the marvel universe with all the Howard Stark stuff.

First proper bit of feeling with the ending being very well done and almost tugging at the heart strings with him missing his date.

7/10. Very close to an 8 and for the first time I can see how these films might actually live up to the hype.

Looking forward to rounding off phase 1, with the Avengers, hopefully tomorrow.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Thor gets more powerful as the films go on, but Hulk always seems a bit under-powered when (from what I understand) in the comics he can seemingly do whatever he wants. And Loki is a bit shit and gay. I think people just like Tom Hiddleston playing him a bit camp.

I believe he's meant to be the second strongest Avenger in the comics behind Thor.

I found Loki takes a bit to warm up, maybe it is down to Hiddleston but I did find the character to get better after the first Thor film.

[Lewis]

He survives nuclear blasts and all sorts of mad shit in the comics. Plus he gets stronger the more wound up he gets, so technically has no limit to his power.

[Lewis]

http://i65.tinypic.com/35dajxi.png

[Smjffy]

Iron Man (2008)

I'd seen this before and remembered it being bang average, but on second viewing.... it's actually pretty good.

Robert Downey Junior is great in the role and Gwyneth Paltrow and Jeff Bridges provide the eye candy - Jeff's beard and shaved head combo is marvellous. The opening in an Afghan (is it?) cave is great as Stark builds his prototype suit to escape in and with so much of the film taken up with that and him then getting the finished version to work there's little time for protracted scenes of robots hitting each other, which is nice.

A solid 7/10 overall.

Iron Man (2008)

I disagree. I still think it was average and probably would have been a flop without Robert Downey Junior. Jeff Bridges I thought was a cameo from HHH but yes, a marvellous combination but I think it was a bit of a rubbish todo between him and RBJ given he put the hit out on him. I don't know....I struggled to suspend the belief at times. Most notably the explosion near the end when they were on the roof. Bit of a meh film in my opinion.

5.5/10 overall. Failed to keep me interested. To think Nicolas Cage or Tom Cruise could have played the role....fuck ha.

[Yevrah]

I think the biggest problem these films have (at least to the point I've reached) is something that plagues all 12A's, in that when making a film with a suggested lower age limit of 8 it's hard to deal with adult themes within that restriction.

Not impossible obviously, but it naturally means that so much of the violence has no jeopardy or pain, which (like all the Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon nonsense) is just boring.

No need for anyone to post how that might change in the future as those films don't exist yet in this thread.

[Henry]

Meh. They're reasonably diverting junk food, often a decent spectacle but there's no depth or real quality to any of it. It exists to perpetuate itself.

[Raoul Duke]

This would have been mega:

https://i.redd.it/ysb2t5g2arr01.jpg

https://www.reddit.com/r/marvelstudios/comments/8c3dcj/what_if_the_mcu_was_made_in_the_90s/

Some great calls in there.

[Yevrah]

Avengers Assemble (2012)

Thought the start was really good as they all came together, but it then hit a monstrous lull during the incredibly dull fight sequence in the Air Base, which bored the shit out of me. It did however serve one purpose in I think that it made for a good lead up to the final battle, which is the most I've enjoyed a 'robots hitting each other' 30 minute scene ever.

Loki remains rubbish and looked like a naughty schoolboy being taken away at the end rather than a destroyer of worlds.

6/10.

[Ian]

Yeah I don't think Loki's built up enough for his Xanatos gambit thing to be convincing so it just seems like he spends a lot of the film losing after the opening sequence.

[Giggles]

How do you edit the thread titles?

[John]

How do you edit the thread titles?

Double click beside them. It's computer only.

[Ian]

I thought that was how it worked but it doesn't work for me. Is it permissions-based?

[John]

I thought that was how it worked but it doesn't work for me. Is it permissions-based?

It could be. On the old board you could edit your own thread titles but I don't know if that's changed.

[Ian]

I'll go into the "How to use the board" thread instead of here.

[Yevrah]

Iron Man 3 (2013)

I can see why they haven't made any more of these since this one. Not a bad film, but not particularly good. A ptsd Tony unless penned by David Lynch only works for so long and it outstayed its welcome here. Guy Pearce was good as always, the actors villain if you will, and Rebecca Hall was alright, but by the mid-point in the film it just felt like there was nowhere left for the Tony Stark story to go in isolation and it didn't.

Didn't like how the Iron Man suit was so easily fucked by heat and the way Pepper survived was lame, as was the acting from RDJ when presumably he thought she'd died. It was as if he knew what was coming and responded accordingly.

5/10. Not the worst film so far, but far from good too.

[Yevrah]

Phase 1 Summary

So up to the end of Phase 1 I'd rank the films in the following order of preference:

Captain America (2011) 7
Iron Man (2008) 7
Avengers Assemble 6
Thor (2011) 6
Iron Man 2 (2010) 5
The Incredible Hulk (2008) 3

For an average score of 5.7, putting the series so far somewhere between mediocre and good on average.

I can see how the world building is reeling me in though, so I'm confident that rating should improve into phase 2, albeit it hasn't with Iron Man 3.

Not expecting much from Thor The Dark World, but should be at least two, maybe three bankers after that as phase 2 is finished.

[Lewis]

Dark World is a bit wank, but you get a lot more Anthony Hopkins phoning it in, so it evens out.

[Henry]

I can't remember so well but you might be a little harsh on The Incredible Hulk. Otherwise I basically agree with that overview.

[phonics]

Captain America getting a 7 means your scale is way off or you'll think the rest of them are masterpieces. It was fucking awful.

edit: I remember writing out a few things on Facebook nearly a decade ago when posting on Facebook was still normal. Turns out, I really didn't enjoy it.

https://imgur.com/LzICmP8https://i.imgur.com/LzICmP8.png

https://imgur.com/LzICmP8

[hfswjyr]

The biggest surprise for me in this thread is that Lewis follows the Marvel movies. Who would have thunk it?

[Ian]

I'm sure he's talked about them quite a bit in the film thread when the conversation comes up.

[Smjffy]

The Incredible Hulk 2008

Fuck me, where do I start with this one - A complete mess of a film.

Firstly, it takes the inexplicable decision to remove any suspense in the build up to Edward Norton becoming the Hulk by just showing you the highlights reel of that in the opening credits, with the film actually starting with him hidden away in Brazil, part time bottler, part time scientist trying to cure himself.

Secondly, the casting is terrible. Liv Tyler can't act, Ed Norton is a shit Hulk (not that you can see much of him when he turns mind, due to the dreadful CGI) and Tim Roth still thinks he's in a Tarantino movie. There's one reasonably intriguing thread where Norton is getting help from a mysterious scientist, which sets you up to thinking "well at least he'll be good when he turns up". He isn't. But not only is he not good, he's a monstrously irritating twat. Now I think about it there wasn't a single character I was sympathetic to in the entire film.

The action sequences are terrible and have no jeopardy or pain whatsoever, a million bullets fly around the set but they can't hurt Hulk so you end up just wanting to shout at the screen "stop shooting you fucking morons", anything to stop the headache. Then because the film is so shit, you end up picking holes in minor plot points. They only have $40 to catch a bus, which is a problem at that point, but when he goes angry and wakes up in Guatemala it wasn't? Characters find each other in seconds in huge cities. There's just absolutely no continuity, presumably from the bloated mess they ended up with originally being edited to within an inch of its life.

Despite also being no longer than the other films, it drags and drags, taking an eternity to come to an end. I can't remember what the much criticised Ang Lee Hulk was like, but it must have been going some to be as bad as this.

A generous 3/10.

I was pleasantly surprised to see Edward Norton as Hulk so I was expecting something good but it just never happened. I actually preferred him as Banner than Hulk. The rest however left me wondering this is really the right thing for me. Iron Man wasn't anything special, a bit average and this was worse. It did drag too, there was a point in the film where I thought it was coming to an end and sat there thinking "Hmm, that was short" only to realise I was barely half way in. It probably should have ended there tbh. 2/10.


Iron Man 2 (2010)

After the shambles of Hulk it was nice to get back to familiar and comfy RDJ company. Not so much a film this one, more how one might imagine a propaganda piece for Tony Stark would be if he actually existed, interspersed with Mickey Rourke, who one can only imagine was in it due to him being flavour of the month at the time. Was the character he played even in the comics?

As for the rest of the cast, Sam Rockwell was irritating (as he is in almost everything he's in) and Scarlett Johansson seemed to exist primarily to be leered at (I mean seriously, some of it just wasn't on for a kids film), albeit it was nice to expand the characters in the world a bit with her introduction as Black Widow.

The end (with robots hitting each other) is shit, but on the whole it passed the time and was relatively watchable to that point.

I'll go for a 5/10, but on a different day it probably could have been a 4, with Mickey Rourke and RDJ elevating a flimsy script and plot somewhat.

Yes! I said I'll fuck it off Iron Man 2 was crap but I think it just about did enough to continue. I didn't like Rourke in this, nor his character but at least I got the story as to why he was attacking Stark/Iron Man, a better reason than Obadiah in the first movie. I reckon you could have condensed both Iron Man 1 & 2 into one film, mind. Fuck the Hulk one off (I don't know if he late becomes important or not)

Overall, Iron Man 2 gets a 6/10 but doesn't make me overly excited for whatever follows. Thor next but I think I've seen it without realising.

[Yevrah]

Thor: The Dark World (2013)

For quite some time this ambled along and I was bored shitless, but bizarrely it was actually redeemed by Loki somewhat in the final acts of it. Nice twist at the end as well.

5/10

Captain America: The Winter Soldier (2014)

Very good. Very good indeed. A film that both stands alone and compliments the series very well. They need to stop pretending people have died though, it's happening almost once a film now and enough is enough.

8/10

[Ian]

I think, to that point, The Dark World is comfortably Loki's best film. It's also a complete waste of however much they paid Christopher Ecclestone.

I do love Winter Soldier though. I think it's the first one since The First Avenger where I really felt they'd done the comic book movie vs. [genre] thing and absolutely nailed it.

[Pleb]

Endgame is getting rereleased in theatres with a post credit scene thrown in for good measure.

[Henry]

Endgame is getting rereleased in theatres with a post credit scene thrown in for good measure.

Nakedly an attempt to catch up with the Avatar box-office record, which they're currently just a bit short of.

[Smjffy]

I gave up on it. :moop: I got to Captain America TWS but I don't know.....I find him incredibly dull, perhaps one of the shittest heroes and then because I had seen Guardians of the Galaxy before I just fucked it off.

[Yevrah]

I’ve paused for a bit but will be back on it soon.

[Pleb]

Age of Ultron is shit. Ant Man is alright but then again it picks up roughly when phase 3 kicks off.

[Giggles]

I thought that Endgame ended all this, so why am I seeing a trailer for a new Spider Man?

[Yevrah]

That’s not for discussion in here.

[Giggles]

That’s not for discussion in here.

Go and lie in your piss, it's a simple question. Everyone knows that Endgame was billed as the last in the series without giving away any spoilers.

[Yevrah]

It’s fucking clear as day as to what this thread is for and what it’s not for. Why be a dick about it?

[Limoutsonik]

Go and lie in your piss, it's a simple question. Everyone knows that Endgame was billed as the last in the series without giving away any spoilers.

There is no "last in series" in the same vain that comics have never "ended" in real life either. Spiderman:Far From Home ends the so called "Phase 3" which is called the "The Infinity Saga". The next movie after Spiderman whichever one that is,kicks off Phase 4 where the new newly acquired film rights for the X-Men and Fantastic four are going to be put into use.

[Giggles]

There is no "last in series" in the same vain that comics have never "ended" in real life either. Spiderman:Far From Home ends the so called "Phase 3" which is called the "The Infinity Saga". The next movie after Spiderman whichever one that is,kicks off Phase 4 where the new newly acquired film rights for the X-Men and Fantastic four are going to be put into use.

That makes sense. I didn't know there were actual phases of these.

[Giggles]

It’s fucking clear as day as to what this thread is for and what it’s not for. Why be a dick about it?

You don't own and moderate a thread just because you started it you big baby.

[Disco]

The point is to keep making money so until people stop going to watch them they're going to keep making/re-making them.

[Yevrah]

You don't own and moderate a thread just because you started it you big baby.

I mean, I do.

[Kikó]

He's such a bellend.

[Giggles]

I'll take that as a compliment coming from King Bellend. Nice of you to take a break from blowing yourself to chime in though.

[Giggles]

Also, can someone quote that seeing as he's an even bigger fucking baby.

[Pepe]

Giggles. :cool:

[Disco]

"Lie in your piss" is a new one on me.

[Giggles]

Captain America is on E4. I forgot how lol the cgi to make him look small and young was. The scene in the back of the car with yer one is horrendous.

[Adamski]

"Lie in your piss" is a new one on me.

Enjoy.

[Pleb]

Wondering if Yevrah ever attempted to carry on with this

#shamelessthreadbump

[Yevrah]

Wondering if Yevrah ever attempted to carry on with this

#shamelessthreadbump

I did over the last week as it happens.

Saw Guardians of the Galaxy tonight, which was just lovely. Not as good a story as Winter Soldier for me, but the characters were great.

[Yevrah]

I'd probably rank the first ten thusly:

Winter Soldier
Guardians of the Galaxy
Iron Man
Captain America
The Avengers
Thor
Thor The Dark World
Iron Man 2
The Incredible Hulk
Iron Man 3

Onto Age of Ultron (which I haven't seen) and then Ant-Man (which I have) and that'll be phase two done. Haven't seen anything else yet from that point onwards.

[Pleb]

Was not a fan of AntMan when I watched it back but it's a good movie.

Winter Soldier is top 10 for definite. It properly picks up when Phase 3 starts naturally.

[Yevrah]

Jesus, Age of Ultron is toilet and looong toilet at that.

Maybe not quite as bad as Iron Man 3, but certainly down there.

[Ian]

Winter Soldier is great.

[Yevrah]

Some more today:

Ant-Man - I quite like this one. It's not top tier, but the cast is good and the story half decent.

Captain America Civil War - Bit average and I don't know why it wasn't an Avengers title.

Doctor Strange - Started very strongly and then went a bit wanky. Poor ensemble cast and characters, albeit Cumberbatch was good.

[Lofty]

Ant-Man is good because it is a lot more comic than the other MCU films, and even when being heroic Laing is hapless. The train set fight is brilliant at encapsulating everything that makes it good.

Civil War is a Captain America film purely because the comic had the same name. It is definitely more of a sequel to Ultron than TWS. TWS really is top tier stuff, plenty of Nick Fury actually doing things, annoying they have seemingly binned a winning formula in favour of the paint by numbers stuff of later films.

[Yevrah]

This may be a combination of Marvel fatigue (which is definitely setting in now) and how good the first one was, but Guardians of the Galaxy II is really quite crap and massively overlong.

[Yevrah]

And five post credit scenes (3 of which are absolute shit)? Get the fuck.

[Ian]

Guardians 2 definitely isn't as good. The stuff with Ego is probably better than anything involving Ronin but on the whole it's a worse film.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Guardians 2 definitely isn't as good. The stuff with Ego is probably better than anything involving Ronin but on the whole it's a worse film.
100%

[Lewis]

The prison break is the best standalone scene in any of the films.

[Yevrah]

Watched Spiderman Homecoming this morning and for me, it's up there with Winter Soldier and Guardians of the Galaxy. Perfect amount of character building vs. things hitting each other.

[Ian]

I like Homecoming a lot and it helps that they didn't waste half the film doing the origin story again.

[Pleb]

Watched Spiderman Homecoming this morning and for me, it's up there with Winter Soldier and Guardians of the Galaxy. Perfect amount of character building vs. things hitting each other.
Before Spider Verse came out it was arguably the best Spiderman film.

[Ian]

I'd include Spider-Man 2 in that particular argument.

Not that it matters because Spider-Verse still wins.

[Pleb]

I agree with that statement as well.

[Raoul Duke]

Slightly hijacking Yev's thread: I've just watched X-men: Apocalypse - it's not bad but I'm hoping Disney can Marvel-ifiy it a bit. Shame Hugh Jackman's time has gone as he was the absolute perfect Wolverine. Would love some sort of X-men/Deadpool/Avengers cross-over shenanigans :drool:

[Ian]

Apocalypse is a total snoozefest you mad bastard.

[Gray Fox]

We did at least get Logan out of Jackman before he left the role.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Apocalypse is a total snoozefest you mad bastard.

Although it wasn't as bad as Dark Phoenix, which was such a good comic arc.

[Raoul Duke]

It wasn't great, but I was just in the mood for it. Dark Phoenix I'm still yet to watch but not got high hopes.

Someone just needs to make a series of great X-men movies, and if anyone can, Disney can. And also they need to have Gambit in them :nodd:

[Lofty]

The best X-Men films, in order, are Logan, Days of Future Past and X-Men 2. First Class, The Wolverine and X-Men are fine. New Mutants, X-Men 3 and Apocalypse are shite, alongside the Wolverine origin film. Not even bothered with Dark Pheonix. If Famke Janssen couldn't sell me that story no-one can, she can Xenia Onatopp me to death any time.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

It wasn't great, but I was just in the mood for it. Dark Phoenix I'm still yet to watch but not got high hopes.

Someone just needs to make a series of great X-men movies, and if anyone can, Disney can. And also they need to have Gambit in them :nodd:
X-men 1 & 2 were pretty good I thought. I also liked Days of Future Past a lot.

Although yes, more Gambit is needed.

[Ian]

I'd be surprised if Feige plumped for the same obvious X-Men as were the main ones in the Fox films. I suppose there's not much getting away from Professor X and Magneto but really I'd love it if they found a good way to swerve them and Wolverine, Jean Grey, etc. in the first instance.

Get some Gambit in there, give me some Cyclops who isn't such a fucking drip, just something a little different.

EDIT: X-Men 1, X2, First Class and Days of Future Past are all good. The rest not so much but they've all got their moments.

The fastball special with Frasier. :drool:

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

I'd be surprised if Feige plumped for the same obvious X-Men as were the main ones in the Fox films. I suppose there's not much getting away from Professor X and Magneto but really I'd love it if they found a good way to swerve them and Wolverine, Jean Grey, etc. in the first instance.

Get some Gambit in there, give me some Cyclops who isn't such a fucking drip, just something a little different.

EDIT: X-Men 1, X2, First Class and Days of Future Past are all good. The rest not so much but they've all got their moments.

The fastball special with Frasier. :drool:

There are loads of cool X-Men characters that haven't been used, quite a few were in the decent TV show The Gifted. Polaris especially so who is the daughter of Magneto.

Fantomex would be really cool as would The Starjammers (an alien group who are led by Cyclops' Dad who is very Han Solo-esque), you can also bring in Forge who had some cool stories with Storm. I also like Colossus' sister as well but I think she was used in The New Mutants (which I have yet to watch).

[Baz]

My wife wants to watch Wonderwoman 1984 for some reason.

Is it a shite superhero pew-pew flick like the majority of these, or a decent film like Spiderman Homecoming?

[Ian]

https://marvel.fandom.com/wiki/Eye-Scream_(Earth-616)

If it's not Eye-Scream I don't care.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

My wife wants to watch Wonderwoman 1984 for some reason.

Is it a shite superhero pew-pew flick like the majority of these, or a decent film like Spiderman Homecoming?

It's shite, which is a shame as WonderWoman was brilliant.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

https://marvel.fandom.com/wiki/Eye-Scream_(Earth-616)

If it's not Eye-Scream I don't care.

Including banana split? Holy shit, he's too OP to be included.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

https://marvel.fandom.com/wiki/Eye-Scream_(Earth-616)

If it's not Eye-Scream I don't care.

https://marvel.fandom.com/wiki/Soft_Serve_(Earth-616)

We can also have a beautiful romance in the film.

[Lofty]

There are loads of cool X-Men characters that haven't been used, quite a few were in the decent TV show The Gifted. Polaris especially so who is the daughter of Magneto.

Fantomex would be really cool as would The Starjammers (an alien group who are led by Cyclops' Dad who is very Han Solo-esque), you can also bring in Forge who had some cool stories with Storm. I also like Colossus' sister as well but I think she was used in The New Mutants (which I have yet to watch).

She is, though Anna-Taylor Joy is not worth the watch alone for that heap.


My wife wants to watch Wonderwoman 1984 for some reason.

Is it a shite superhero pew-pew flick like the majority of these, or a decent film like Spiderman Homecoming?

I watched it recently and it is terrible, really poor compared to the first film. Not even pew pew though, it's almost like a TV film. Even just switching your brain off for it is bad, never mind when you start thinking about all the fucking plot holes.

[Lofty]

Review nails WW84, tells you the plot but is it that bad: https://youtu.be/PeieblTIw7A

[Raoul Duke]

The first Wonder Woman film was complete bollocks. No idea why it got such positive reviews.

In Marvel news: there's a Hawkeye TV show coming to Disney+

[Bernanke]

The Hawkeye thing looks dull as shit.

The first WW was better than average but overrated (especially the third act is pretty bad), even if some of the fish out of water stuff in the beginning is charming. WW84 is an insult to filmmaking.

[randomlegend]

The first Wonder Woman film was complete bollocks. No idea why it got such positive reviews.

In Marvel news: there's a Hawkeye TV show coming to Disney+

Hard agree. It was awful.

[Yevrah]

Thor Ragnarok is probably the best Thor film, but is weird in that it's basically an out and out comedy without being particularly laugh out loud funny. Good ratio of narrative vs. things hitting each other though.

[Lewis]

And Chris Hemsworth does comedy acting like this (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V2FToyZil3I).

[Alex]

The best thing about Ragnarok is that it introduces Korg, who is the single best feature of the entire MCU up to this point.

[Yevrah]

Black Panther is alright. Wakanda a cracking setting, but the film lacks a punch to make it compete with the best Marvel efforts.

Avengers Infinity Wars is good, but I thought the end was properly lame.

[Ian]

Black Panther is a rare example of the opposite of the Marvel villain problem. Wakanda's a good setting as you say but it's a fairly so-so film on the whole but with a good villain propping it up a bit. I think Jordan as Killmonger is really good.

[Yevrah]

Ant Man and the Wasp and Captain Marvel are both pretty good, with some nice set up for Endgame, which I'll watch today.

Quite excited about that, it's been a long road.

[Ian]

I didn't care for Ant Man and the Wasp at all but yeah, Captain Marvel is fun.

Given you've largely enjoyed this so far you should like Endgame and having watched it all so close together be able to fully appreciate how many things they tie into it.

[Lewis]

The problem with Captain Marvel was that her only weakness was being just too damn sassy and independent, which makes her a crap character, because how do you write her a typical superhero weakness without Disney putting a bomb in your car?

[Ian]

That is definitely true and... well, I'll wait until Yev's a film or two further in before adding what I was going to add.

The "Just A Girl" scene in that film was fun but the song choice could hardly have been more "LOOK AT WHAT WE'RE DOING!!"

[Yevrah]

Endgame is good, but could and perhaps should have been so much better. Chief problem is the time travel stuff, which is absolute balls, but somewhat redeemed by the last 15 minutes.

[randomlegend]

Yeah, time travel just always introduces inconsistencies and stuff. It was still good but I was sad that was the way they chose to solve it.

[Lofty]

I have attempted both Black Panther and Captain Marvel and turned them both off bored.

[Pleb]

Onto phase 4 :drool:

[Baz]

Bloody hell Yev, rattling through these.

[Yevrah]

I don't fuck about Baz.

Sadly, but on balance I was probably right before I started about whether they were worth watching. They're kids films, albeit probably very good kids films, but kids films nonetheless - So many times I watched things happen that made me think I'd have loved that when I was younger.

[Lofty]

I watched 1989 Batman again last night and I completely missed the fact Vicki Vale is basically distracting the Joker with an alluded to blowjob in the finale in previous viewings :D

[Raoul Duke]

This amused me:


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Tf-_230SjbM

I watched Ten Rings and The Eternals recently. The former was better than I thought it would be (but still descended into a CGI punch-fest) and the latter was all over the place. They did that thing where they assume I will care about the main characters whilst giving me absolutely no reason to. It was ok as a film but there were far too many characters for it to hold together with any real weight of story.

[Spikey M]

That's basically a recreation of the photo I posted (the one of me with my mate) that started Head-gate circa 2003.

[Ian]

This amused me:


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Tf-_230SjbM

I watched Ten Rings and The Eternals recently. The former was better than I thought it would be (but still descended into a CGI punch-fest) and the latter was all over the place. They did that thing where they assume I will care about the main characters whilst giving me absolutely no reason to. It was ok as a film but there were far too many characters for it to hold together with any real weight of story.

Don't read the below, Yev:
I was quite liking Shang-Chi right up until this colourful martial arts-y film had CGI being punched in a sea of greybrown. Surely at that point they should have leaned into the weird, colourful aesthetic they'd done in the forest scenes, say, and go all-out on wire-fu type stuff. Decent film but it's a crap last twenty minutes or so.

[Ian]

I've now watched The Eternals and:
Boy oh boy is it dull. Bottom three MCU films.

As Raoul said it relies on you giving a fuck about, like, eight new characters it's just introduced (Lads, you put DC to shame but NOT doing this with the first Avengers film, c'mon) and it's also about 45% lore and 45% setup for future shit and then 10% sprinkled throughout where it remembers to try and be a film in its own right.

Yawn.