Help

[Magic]

I know there is a depression thread but I need all the help possible.

My 16 y0 brother last night apparently was set to take his own life. It was only his girlfriend phoning my dad telling him he'd said goodbye etc that stopped it. I am furious nobody told me, keeping fucking secrets especially ones like that isn't a matter of trust or privacy, it's bottling things up. He's got high functioning autism, and has struggled with depression for a couple of years. Doctors keep fobbing him off. He's not on any meds.

The rents are away to go on holiday for 5 days, he stays in room outside the house, anyone got any advice? I am not happy about him being out there at all but what can I do? That's his room.

[-james-]

How are your parents alright with fucking off on holiday in these circumstances?

[randomlegend]

Has anyone been with him to a doctor's appointment? He may play it down or not be able to express well how he's feeling (or the doctor might just be shit and need pushing to deal with it properly by someone with the strength of personality to do so). If not then ask him if he'd be happy for you (or whoever would be the best person) to go with him and advocate for him.

Not sure I fully understand the other issues. He's living in the shed or what? Don't really get what you're saying. I doubt there's much you can do about where he's staying unless you can offer him an alternative he wants to take.

With regards to helping him with his depression, making and plans with him and stuff is probably a good bet. Depressed people often don't want to get out and are resistant to it but it does help (even if they insist it doesn't). Something regular like playing squash once a week or something. Trying to convince or logic someone out of depression doesn't work, telling them you're there doesn't work, but actually being there and involving yourself in their life in my experience is much more likely to have a positive impact.

Stuff like CBT is good for depression but accessing it via the NHS is a fucking nightmare in my experience (although you live in a different area so YMMV). If it's something which can be afforded then finding someone who offers CBT privately would probably be very helpful (you'd probably need to look for someone comfortable for dealing with someone with high functioning autism - which it would also help with I would think).

[John]

Confiscate their fucking passports.

[Magic]

How are your parents alright with fucking off on holiday in these circumstances?

It's probably best they aren't here, in fairness.

[Magic]

Has anyone been with him to a doctor's appointment? He may play it down or not be able to express well how he's feeling (or the doctor might just be shit and need pushing to deal with it properly by someone with the strength of personality to do so). If not then ask him if he'd be happy for you (or whoever would be the best person) to go with him and advocate for him.

Not sure I fully understand the other issues. He's living in the shed or what? Don't really get what you're saying. I doubt there's much you can do about where he's staying unless you can offer him an alternative he wants to take.

With regards to helping him with his depression, making and plans with him and stuff is probably a good bet. Depressed people often don't want to get out and are resistant to it but it does help (even if they insist it doesn't). Something regular like playing squash once a week or something. Trying to convince or logic someone out of depression doesn't work, telling them you're there doesn't work, but actually being there and involving yourself in their life in my experience is much more likely to have a positive impact.

Stuff like CBT is good for depression but accessing it via the NHS is a fucking nightmare in my experience (although you live in a different area so YMMV). If it's something which can be afforded then finding someone who offers CBT privately would probably be very helpful (you'd probably need to look for someone comfortable for dealing with someone with high functioning autism - which it would also help with I would think).

No, he insists he goes on his own.

My concern is he isn't immediately in the house, it's like a granny flat room attached to the house, which you need to go outside and has an internal lock on the door.

[randomlegend]

Not sure what you can do about that if he doesn't want to move. He's 16 so he can do what he likes form that POV (as far as I know?)

[Lewis]

As if you're the well-adjusted one.

[Magic]

Not sure what you can do about that if he doesn't want to move. He's 16 so he can do what he likes form that POV (as far as I know?)

I know, I wasn't going to force him to do anything. I think you're right about keeping him involved, it's each to their own in this godforsaken fuckfest, no wonder we're all raving mad. I can't wait to get my own place.

[Spikey M]

Going away on holiday? U wot m8?

[Baz]

My 16 y0 brother last night apparently was set to take his own life. It was only his girlfriend phoning my dad telling him he'd said goodbye etc that stopped itWas he though?

[Pepe]

Take him in with you.

Or are you also living there?

[Magic]

Was he though?

I don't know...who does? Not even he will know, in moments of great desperation anything is possible. He said he was ready to do it last year when I did chat to him. Again, who knows but it would be incredibly naive and foolish to ignore.

[Magic]

Take him in with you.

Or are you also living there?

I'm living in the main bit of the house yes. This is a fucking unbearable atmosphere. There are so many little intertwined issues between all in the household it's an extremely fractious and difficult environment.

[Magic]

Stepmum's mum: Quite ill, unfit, pretty sure dad hopes she dies soon but doesn't really bother anyone.

Dad: Not talking to 17 y0 sister, she called him a cunt so he refuses to take her to work now. This is causing my step-mum sleeping issues, and having a huge knock on effect as she does everything around the house

Step-mum: The main wall for the grief. Has suffered with depression for 20 years. Has sleeping issues, back pain, and sometimes her meds cause her to be vacant.

26 y0 sister: Doesn't talk to my step-mum, is really horrible to her, and everyone else. Dad's golden girl. Hates my 17 y0 sister more than anyone else for some reason and is brutal to her.

17y0 sister: Called my dad a cunt, hates him, he always calls her fat etc. Has just split up with her boyfriend of 2 years so another one to add to the misery pile. Kind of gets on with my 16y0 bro as they both have the same parents.

16y0 brother: Isn't speaking to step-mum (his mum) because she told us all about his depression. Hates dad too as he gives him such a hard time. Gets on well with 26y0 probably because they are both social freaks.

REMOTE STAFF:

32y0 sister: Lives in Blackpool, works in a shop and is an alcoholic, single and pretty sure her daughter is starving slowly. Only eats sweets and has rotten teeth. Such a fucking shame she's an angel but has had to know how to look after herself since like 3. Her dad is a fucking cunt.

34y0 sister: Lives in Manchester, also going through a divorce, 2 kids, very nasty. Financial threats etc. She's got a new boyfriend now (lol). I forced her to get an appt for her 8 y0 son as I'm sure he's got autism as well. She has done so. Gives my step-mum most of the emotional strain just by venting, but step-mum takes it all on personally.

[bruhnaldo]

why the FUCK do you keep using 0's for O's for the fucking love of FUCK

[SvN]

The timing is perfect for a fly on the wall series about the Magic household.

[Lewis]

The Tragic Johnsons.

[Shindig]

I dunno what inspiring words I can offer if the kid's a high-functioning autist. "Chin up, mate. You're only 16." That's the best I can manage.

[Pepe]

'Chin up, you could be Magic.'

[Spikey M]

'You're the only high functioner in the family'

[Baz]

Sounds like your brother had the right idea. :sick:

[Magic]

My 17 year old sister made me a frozen breadcrumbed fish fillet and some undercooked chips.

Waaahhh wahhh wahhhhh do be do dooooo.

[Spikey M]

I own that you cunt

[Magic]

In the next episode, 34y0 brings her new boyfriend up from Manchester to meet the family at 18y0s birthday party. Magic's ex-wife, who wasn't initially invited, emotionally blackmailed 17y0 in to an invite. It is ripe for a huge emotional war. Will magic glass his ex? Will his big sister and her kids be murdered and dumped in the sea?

[Magic]

All true, sadly.

[Spikey M]

Were your mum and dad related prior to their wedding?

[bruhnaldo]

lmfaoooo holy shit i'm literally in tears