So this place is still kicking eh?

[Bartholomert]

I guess it's true, you never really leave, you just take a break.

[Queenslander]

:joy:

[John]

How you feeling about the Trump regime?

[Queenslander]

Married with kids?

[Giggles]

Going around in a knotted jumper but still wondering why the room falls silent every time he walks in.

[Bernanke]

We need an income and BMI update.

[-james-]

And an update on the sexual battery case.

[Baz]

Alright mert.

[SincereTheRebel]

Going around in a knotted jumper but still wondering why the room falls silent every time he walks in.

Cant forget about those shorts to match lad.

[Pepe]

Mert. :cool:

[Kikó]

How's being a lawyer mert?

[Bartholomert]

How you feeling about the Trump regime?

In terms of overall effectiveness and organization, as assessed in a vacuum, pretty bad. But, he's been present (if not maybe entirely responsible) for three invaluable macro course-altering developments that would not have occurred under Clinton:

1) Tax reform. The new tax law was an urgently necessary and an unqualified objective improvement from the status quo. It will prolong American economic hegemony for another 20+ years beyond its previous expiration date.
2) Radicalization and unmasking of the Left and MSM. You need the pendulum to reach its apex before enough of the populace is exposed to and therefore alienated by the insane theories of intersectionality and collectivism now popular (if not demanded in return for participation) in the circles of the socio-cultural coastal elites. He's likely expedited the process of returning to a normal health society.
3) Judicial nominees. Probably the most significant success (and direct divergence with the Clitnon counterfactual) of Trump is his unprecedented rate of confirming new federal judges (who are overwhelmingly Originalist in their reading of the Constitution). More than anything, it will single-handedly ensure our system of governance and protections for religious liberty, privacy, free enterprise, etc. will be perpetuated for at least another generation.

He's going to win again in 2020. Unless the Democrats nominate someone nearing moderate, which seems unlikely given the rabid unhinged demands of their core base.

Also, after four years in DC, I am so sick of politics. These days I stick to mindless sports fandom and sports betting to fill in the hours before I have to come back into work.


Married with kids?

Single for around six months now, the longest period I've gone without a girlfriend since I was 16. I wish I could say I was single and/or unmarried by choice but in fact it's because (surprise!) I am now about 30 lbs away from being attractive to the quality of woman I would want to seriously spend time with. In fact, I've begun a self-imposed period of isolation (as of...Saturday) to focus on fitness for a few months, after which I think I'm ready to seriously look for a long-term partner.

If we want to talk "sloots" I would say that my views on the world have evolved...a lot. Reading the posts in this thread was almost jarring in reflecting how much I've changed from my previously cultivated persona.


We need an income and BMI update.

Income: I'll be comfortable if overworked for my entire life barring some unforeseen career ending development.
BMI: After hitting 165 lbs at one point 2L year of law school (what a time that would have been to post about my "exploits"), I'm now at an absolutely embarrassing post-bar exam 195 lbs. I partially came back to this place last night because of hunger induced insomnia and restlessness (see also self-induced isolation and lifestyle of being a lawyer). Time to get back on the wagon.


How's being a lawyer mert?

The work is genuinely interesting and challenging (it feels almost like an intellectual hobby or strategy game), but it's a bit lonely if I'm being honest. I got bounced out of ~Big Law~ (well I didn't get full-time offered after my clerkship for reasons that weren't entirely in my control and had in part to do with changing management), and landed at a reputable boutique in DC for my practice area. Everyone I work with is at least ten years older than me, and most are even older than that. I come in around 9 AM and will work till anywhere between 6-9 PM depending on what we have due that week, supplemented by a few hours a day on the weekends. A lot of that time is just grinding out work product (billing requirements) and being by yourself in your own office (hence the loneliness). I don't know if that's 'bad' in terms of workload, but it feels fine and anyways it's gotten to the point where I feel like "well what else do I have to do with my life" so I work. I guess that's kinda sad? Most of my friends are in the same boat if not worse.

[SvN]

That last post almost came across as tolerable. Boo, we want the old Mert.

[Giggles]

He's started off like a human in the past too before reverting to type.

[bruhnaldo]

It's ok Mert you could be 150 pounds away from being attractive like YA BWOI here.

You'll be fine once you fully adjust to your new lifestyle and get right with your diet and exercise routine.

[Bartholomert]

That last post almost came across as tolerable. Boo, we want the old Mert.

I'm turning 27 this year. My back hurts, my knees can't handle more than 30 minutes of cardio, and college girls remind me of my little sister. I might try to sneak in some risque social commentary every now and then but I doubt we'll ever see a return to the mythical days of "if you don't think grinding with drunk sloots in the frat basement and making out with them is the height of the human experience, you're a jealous pussy"...


He's started off like a human in the past too before reverting to type.

We'll see how much repressed bitterness will come to the surface once I hit Week 3 or 4 of consistent calorie deficits and my hormones start playing tricks on my mind.

If you want some vintage "Red Meat" Mert, I had three different girls in my bed Friday / Saturday / Sunday about a month ago. I'm absolutely indubitably done with that life. I've proven to myself that I can sleep with a different cute girl almost any day of the week if I really put my mind to it. It's meaningless, ephemeral, leaves you feeling empty, and I think legitimately damages your psyche. No more.

[Bartholomert]

It's ok Mert you could be 150 pounds away from being attractive like YA BWOI here.

You'll be fine once you fully adjust to your new lifestyle and get right with your diet and exercise routine.

Yeah I've been saying that to myself for a few months now...I'm adjusted, just being lazy. Anyways time to rediscover A E S T H E T I C S again.

[mugbull]

Your politics are still absolutely idiotic, but you seem more self-aware than before. Onwards and upwards.

[Bartholomert]

Can I have my username changed to Bartholomew? For privacy reasons. No significance to the name, just think it sounds Forum Username-y.

[Panda Bear]

You know that sleep deprivation is strongly linked to weight gain, right?

[Spikey M]

Bartholomew :D

[Mazuuurk]

You dont want people to know you’re Mert so you want it changed to Bart? Clever boy.

Welcome back, Bart. Glad to see ypu may have grown up a bit :thbup:

[Offshore Toon]

Mert has inspired me to go for a run. I'm totally with him on A E S T H E T I C S lets do this.

[Ian]

Bartholomew? Behave.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Simpson
the Apostle
Ogbeche

Any other famous Barthlomews he could be naming himself after?

[Panda Bear]

Bartholomert or Merttholomew.

[Bartholomert]

Mert has inspired me to go for a run. I'm totally with him on A E S T H E T I C S lets do this.

:thbup:

I'll migrate to the Exercise thread with more graphically detailed updates soon enough...

[Panda Bear]

Seriously, how much sleep are you getting every night?

[Mazuuurk]

For some reason a lot of more or less famous people sailing were called that. Batholomew Dias, Portuguese explorer and Batholomew ’Black Bart’ Roberts, infamous pirate (I recently bough this kids book about pirates for my son and its fucking ace :cool: )

[Bartholomert]

Seriously, how much sleep are you getting every night?

Sorry I missed your post above. Good to see you're still here too...

I'm aware of the connection between sleep (and related perpetual exhaustion) and weight gain (all those years on bodybuilding.com). It's definitely a factor in the depreciating physical condition and forms part of the reasoning for the decision that I need to enact a self-imposed "isolation", because otherwise I become tempted to invite the girl(s) I'm talking to over during the week and we never end up sleeping at a regular time.

[Lewis]

Alright Mert.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Simpson
the Apostle
Ogbeche

Any other famous Barthlomews he could be naming himself after?

Bartholomew Allen aka The Flash.

[Offshore Toon]

:thbup:

I'll migrate to the Exercise thread with more graphically detailed updates soon enough...
I've got about 30lbs to drop too so maybe we should race.

[Shindig]

We need more Mort license plates.

[Dark Soldier]

27 and chatting like man is old. Calm it

[mugbull]

27 is ancient

[Magic]

I want more RED MEAT. Blue, please.

I'm talking the air as well. :drool:

[Kikó]

I'm struggling to believe Mert is 27. Thanks for the update as well - genuinely interesting.

[Bartholomert]

I've got about 30lbs to drop too so maybe we should race.

Weekly weigh-ins via video recording on Whatsapp to ensure compliance / not holding onto anything, venmo each other $50 if we haven't dropped at least 1.5 lbs since the previous weigh-in? $250 to whoever hits 30lbs first? I'll be happy to go 2 or 3 to 1 re: payments. We can even make it it's own thread with pictures to keep it interesting.

Srs. I'm doing it with another friend of mine already.

I open the public weight-loss competition to anyone interested.


I'm struggling to believe Mert is 27. Thanks for the update as well - genuinely interesting.

Well 26. 27 in December (hence turning 27 this year). I've been on the forums since FM '05.

It's definitely not young young, and more in the young professional category.

[SvN]

Will those videos be posted before or after the video of your 10 3 pointers in a row?

[Spikey M]

Don't balance your gut on the towel rail.

[Bartholomert]

Will those videos be posted before or after the video of your 10 3 pointers in a row?

I'll attempt it today if my computer camera can be angled to see the rim and where I'm shooting from. I'm sure I'll be able to at least get 7-8/10 to demonstrate feasibility.

[Kikó]

Weekly weigh-ins via video recording on Whatsapp to ensure compliance / not holding onto anything, venmo each other $50 if we haven't dropped at least 1.5 lbs since the previous weigh-in? $250 to whoever hits 30lbs first? I'll be happy to go 2 or 3 to 1 re: payments. We can even make it it's own thread with pictures to keep it interesting.

Srs. I'm doing it with another friend of mine already.

I open the public weight-loss competition to anyone interested.



Well 26. 27 in December (hence turning 27 this year). I've been on the forums since FM '05.

It's definitely not young young, and more in the young professional category.

You're 27.

https://m0.sportsjoe.ie/wp-content/uploads/2015/06/12162553/arse-tweets.jpg

[Magic]

I've started on the weights again. Need bulk now I'm a dedicated sloot hunter.

[Spikey M]

You need to get back with your bitch wife for the sake of your TTH legacy.

[Magic]

You need to get back with your bitch wife for the sake of your TTH legacy.

Fuck off, she's a psycho.

[SvN]

She's also single-handedly responsibly for your quarter final appearance in the TTH tournament. Rough with the smooth.

[bruhnaldo]

Wow even Magic has returned.

Glorious days.

[Bartholomert]

I made the video of me hitting 10 3s in a row. This having not played for a few months due to a hip/groin injury, and after doing chest/tris and 20 minutes of cardio beforehand (as you’ll see I’m barely jumping because my calves are cramping up), etc etc.

Will upload once I get back from the gym.

[Bartholomert]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iGf22rfdei8

[Offshore Toon]

Mert donning it.

Weekly weigh-ins via video recording on Whatsapp to ensure compliance / not holding onto anything, venmo each other $50 if we haven't dropped at least 1.5 lbs since the previous weigh-in? $250 to whoever hits 30lbs first? I'll be happy to go 2 or 3 to 1 re: payments. We can even make it it's own thread with pictures to keep it interesting.

Srs. I'm doing it with another friend of mine already.

I open the public weight-loss competition to anyone interested.



Well 26. 27 in December (hence turning 27 this year). I've been on the forums since FM '05.

It's definitely not young young, and more in the young professional category.
I get why you're doing it, but I don't have much cash to throw around and my recent form diet-wise has been dreadful. I'm calorie counting now, though, so there's no lying to myself when bingeing. Plus its the final sprint to summer. 1kg-2kg a week from here and by the first festival at the end of May all should be well.

I get what you mean about not feeling young. I'm 28 and really don't feel young. The 40+yos at work get upset when I say that I'm old and they're definitely old, but women tend to come in with the mindset that old = bad. I'd much rather spend time with them than an 18yo, though. Saying that, I have more energy now than I've ever had in adult life, so I don't feel like getting older is crippling me. Maybe I'll feel worse about ageing when I'm past 30 and slowing down.

[Mazuuurk]

Guys, you can always just send each other dick pics without cash having to be involved :flirt:

[Pen]

Mert being a full grown man is a dark reminder how long I’ve spent here and how old I am 😬

Good to have you back even if we rarely agree on things.

[7om]

Welcome back, Mert.

I was in DC a few weeks ago but forgot you were there. Next time I'm back let's play HORSE.

[Bartholomert]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iGf22rfdei8

Quoting for the haters on the new page.

Can I have my username changed to Bartholomew tho?

[Spikey M]

Bartholomert.

[SincereTheRebel]

195 pounds and an embarrassment? Im about 205 pounds and a complete beast.

[Spikey M]

You're not a manlet though.

[Bartholomert]

Bartholomert.

I would settle for this tbh. Just as long as it's not exactly my first name.

[SincereTheRebel]

You're not a manlet though.

I had to google what a manlet is :D

[Pen]

I enjoyed the name joke Shindig made. I think Mort is the winner here.

[bruhnaldo]

What kinda fuckin children's YMCA court are you shooting on that that's a 3 pointer tho

[SvN]

Genuinely very impressive, but it does look closer than the 3 point arc to me. But what the fuck do I know?

[phonics]

I too could hit 10 for 10 from the 3 point line if my 3 point line started at the free throw line.

[-james-]

I too could hit 10 for 10 from the 3 point line if my 3 point line started at the free throw line.

Could you?

[Lewis]

'I've got the shoes and everything.'

[SincereTheRebel]

I too could hit 10 for 10 from the 3 point line if my 3 point line started at the free throw line.

Proof or it didnt happen and Mert is proven to be far superior.

[phonics]

I haven't picked up a basketball in a decade but I'm pretty sure I could hit that many free throws. Someone send me a ball.

[Bartholomert]

What kinda fuckin children's YMCA court are you shooting on that that's a 3 pointer tho

It's my apartments mini basketball court.


Genuinely very impressive, but it does look closer than the 3 point arc to me. But what the fuck do I know?


I too could hit 10 for 10 from the 3 point line if my 3 point line started at the free throw line.

Here is a video I made before hitting 10 of me going 5 for 5 that shows greater perspective of where I'm shooting from. It's consistently beyond the college 3-point arc (and not a free-throw).


https://youtu.be/-AveARBnM88

PS Bartholomort is also acceptable. Pls tho name change.

[Pepe]

But could you do it on a cold windy night in Albuquerque?

[Adamski]

I would settle for this tbh. Just as long as it's not exactly my first name.

On the bright side, I just found your twitter (amongst other things) and was disappointed to learn that you hadn't used it since 2015 but absolutely delighted to learn that yes - you guessed - it still has more followers than phonics.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Now here's a question for those who have shot some b-ball hoops in their time. Wannabe Magic Jordans, if you will. Can you score an own basket?

[phonics]

Now here's a question for those who have shot some b-ball hoops in their time. Wannabe Magic Jordans, if you will. Can you score an own basket?

You can but it doesn't appear on your stats. The basket is given to the player on the opposite team who was closest to you at the time.

[Mazuuurk]

That sort of sounds like wanking.

[bruhnaldo]

That's not even a high school 3 pointer but I'ma just let you cook my guy

[Pepe]

I bet the ball is not even regulation.

[bruhnaldo]

Shooting 10 free throws in a row is still generally impressive though let's be fair.

[phonics]

Not when it's clearly a phone set to record and you just shoot until you get 10 in a row.

[igor_balis]

Simpson
the Apostle
Ogbeche

Any other famous Barthlomews he could be naming himself after?

Breit

[Kikó]

Ten free throws is impressive. Not sure why phonics is being such a pansy with this.

[phonics]

Basketball was the only organised sport I was good enough at to get into the team (in the UK, lol at trying to compete against a bunch of 6'5 african dudes in Geneva) so I'm just getting high on my own farts with this argument.

[Offshore Toon]

Mert looks like such a yank in those videos.

[Baz]

Now here's a question for those who have shot some b-ball hoops in their time. Wannabe Magic Jordans, if you will. Can you score an own basket?I saw it happen once, in PE at school. A lad (Swanny) received the ball, completely panicked and just chucked it. In it went. The whole class went nuts. Was from about half way too.

Me and my mate still bring it up all the time. :D

[bruhnaldo]

Not when it's clearly a phone set to record and you just shoot until you get 10 in a row.

To be fair though at least he does the whole bit where he clearly hits "record" on his phone and then shoots.

I'm sure that shit must be exhausting.
Mert do u have one of those new fancy iPhones with the app that can record your shots or whatever it was supposed to do?

[Bartholomert]

To be fair though at least he does the whole bit where he clearly hits "record" on his phone and then shoots.

I'm sure that shit must be exhausting.
Mert do u have one of those new fancy iPhones with the app that can record your shots or whatever it was supposed to do?

I just used my laptop, angled it to show the basket, clicked record and shot. Started over if I missed before 5 and then 10 in a row. Nothing fancy involving phones.