CV

[Manc]

So i've finally got round to brushing up my CV and was wondering how we all tackle them. Any buzzwords you consider a must? Is two pages the ideal length? Do you employ bullet points? Do you consider the design & layout a key component? The more detail the better? Are there better ways to spend a Saturday?

[Jimmy Floyd]

I keep it to one page (irrelevant jobs from the mists of time get the chop as I don't think employers care about those), and I'm a no statement at the top man - let the facts speak for themselves. It depends on your personality, sector, and general way of going about things though. There isn't a right way.

[Yevrah]

Don't make it too wordy is key. If it's hard work for someone to trawl through it and understand your skills they just won't bother.

[Boydy]

Always bullet points. When I worked for a recruitment agency I had to change people's CVs so that they had bullet points. And don't do one of those 'personal statement' things, they're cringeworthy.

[Shindig]

Personal statements and soft skills are only really for people lacking work experience, to be honest. If I did one now, it'd just be my current job responsibilities and any academic shit the job would call for. Probably. I haven't touched mine in five years.

[Boydy]

Personal statements and soft skills are only really for people lacking work experience, to be honest. If I did one now, it'd just be my current job responsibilities and any academic shit the job would call for. Probably. I haven't touched mine in five years.

Yeah, pretty much. We used to get CVs in from accountants and other finance folk who'd have like 10-15 years experience at big name companies and they'd still have a personal statement that'd include shit about their hobbies and their family. I mean come on.

[mo]

(irrelevant jobs from the mists of time get the chop as I don't think employers care about those)

See when I apply for jobs it's usually using an application form and they always want full employment history and explanation of any gaps as well (which is kind of annyoing - I'm a professional, no convictions, what would I be hiding?). So the gabs I had between jobs 12 years ago have been magically erased now.

[phonics]

As a designer, I've seen a lot of 'designed' CV's. They're all awful, including my own.

[SvN]

Make it look presentable, but don't go over the top. If you do, it better be incredible.

[phonics]

Make it look presentable, but don't go over the top. If you do, it better be incredible.

Had one from our recent web producer recruitment and he had star ratings for various programs, most of which went between 4-5. I told my boss I consider myself a 3* designer at best and this guy's worse than me. He got an interview but never got to my stage of it so we'll never know.

[igor_balis]

Would someone write my CV for a tenner and 5* positive rep?

[Lewis]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K_25l7nwMmA

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Would someone write my CV for a tenner and 5* positive rep?

I'm sure Shinners would love to do it.

[igor_balis]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K_25l7nwMmA

Honestly don't know where you got this idea I'm some kind of wacky zany well random guy. I'm not seething as such, because the reality is probably much worse, just a bit confused.

[Lewis]

We're into the meta stages of it now. Play on.

[igor_balis]

do you want me to role play for you daddy

[Lewis]

Let's crowd source your CV.

[phonics]

The reason everyone thinks igor is weird is because he has a generally positive outlook which weird everyone out.

[Spikey M]

Igor needs to be careful. At the moment he's typecast as a ZANY and loveable little tyke. But there's been a few bite backs lately.

Eegs (I reckon that's how you shorten Igor), embrace it. This is who you are. Trying to disprove it will see you undertaking the equivalent to a 17 year old Spikey measuring his head, checking online to see what the average head measurement is, then posting his measurements in the Mugshot thread to show THOSE CUNTS BAMSTER AND KIKO THAT I DON'T HAVE A TINY. FUCKING. HEAD.

Here we are 13 years later. I'm married, 2 kids, decent job, own my own house. To the people of TTH? idiotmouse with a tiny head. And I wouldn't have it any other way.

Now vote Jimmy over that you cunts.

P.s I was leaning back, my mate was leaning forward. Also he's 6'3" and I'm 5'10". It was a trick of the camera.

P.P.S And I don't have a caravan.

[Offshore Toon]

Nice try not bringing FaceParty up.

[Spikey M]

Haha you actually replied. Anyway, dobedo, hows u?

[igor_balis]

:D

I enjoyed your analysis Spikey M. If I'm Patrick Stewart, TTH can be star trek and I can save my serious Shakespearean acting for West Brom message boards? I'm really good at metaphors.

I can relate to the head thing, except I get accused of having a huge head rather than a tiny one. And I can't argue back because it really is genuinely fucking grotesquely massive. Mum persuaded me to try on a hat in M&S cus she was just curious to see how I looked wearing one, and then proceeded to break the EXTRA LARGE one I'd picked up. Chastening moment.

[Lewis]

'Ooo, he's 6'3" and I'm 5'10"!' Yeah, 'cause he has a normal head.

[Giggles]

Another bite, unexpected.

The main thing with him is that if he was telling you he had waffles for tea, it would have to involve an elaborate story about train stations, house parties, and an awkward situation before finally getting to the fucking waffles. Because he's WACKY and ZANY.

[igor_balis]

:D

I can't be annoyed by that because I'm too amused by the fact that you're so consistently on-brand that you can't even write a hypothetical post I'd make without linking it somehow to brown oven baked stodge.

[Giggles]

They were in my head because Greg Wallace was in the waffle factory the other night on BBC 2. Plus, I could picture you eating them for your tea a lot.

[igor_balis]

though in fairness I would deserve criticism for needlessly complicating a post about fucking waffles, that sounds like an awkward enough situation in itself

[mugbull]

Any buzzwords you consider a must?

I would think this is hilarious and retarded, but a lot of companies screen applications sent through shit like LinkedIn with AI text bots that look for specific words, so at the end of the day this might actually be mission critical these days.

[mo]

I would think this is hilarious and retarded, but a lot of companies screen applications sent through shit like LinkedIn with AI text bots that look for specific words, so at the end of the day this might actually be mission critical these days.

I concur - quite often employers are looking to see if you're mentioning the right sorts of things, so I suppose pay close attention to the wording of the ad/person specification. The last application letter I wrote, I went through the person specification and tailored my letter to that. Although time will tell if that has actually paid off or not.