The Magic Finally Gets A Divorce Thread

[Magic]

Stick that on reddit Baz you cunt.

Be posting a lot more on here now I'm about to spiral in to a black hole of depression and self destruct.

[Kikó]

What have you given up?

[Pepe]

:console:

[Pepe]

Will we be getting the tanning-cam secret files?

[Disco]

Saviour of the board :drool:

[Alex]

Stick that on reddit Baz you cunt.

Be posting a lot more on here now I'm about to spiral in to a black hole of depression and self destruct.

Don't worry lad, once we get promoted you'll forget all about it. :cool:

[Magic]

What have you given up?

I'm desperately trying to cling on to my dignity, if nothing else.

[Spikey M]

Chin up mucker. :console:

[Lewis]

I'm desperately trying to cling on to my dignity, if nothing else.

She'll be having that as well.

[phonics]

Sorry to hear.

fyi the rest: All unnecessary/harsh jokes in Magics direction in this thread will carry warnings.

[Magic]

Hey I don't mind really. My focus is now being as amicable as possible and having grace throughout this whole process. I am terrified. I have never lived on my own and feel like I'm going to implode every time I think about my daughter. Kissing her goodnight and leaving tonight was a pure PTSD moment.

[Lewis]

If someone ends up banned can they still see the board on weekends?

[phonics]

lol that's very good.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

It was probably for the best.

For you, her and the kid. Although you probably don't think that now.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

If someone ends up banned can they still see the board on weekends?

:D

lol

[Magic]

If someone ends up banned can they still see the board on weekends?

Even if they don't they'll all have to pay maintenance (towards Baz's beer fund).

[igor_balis]

Magic, at least you can come to Rugby for a nice big sesh now. You can even kip in my spare room.

[igor_balis]

In all seriousness though, without wanting to be too much of a fanny, you've always been one of my favourite people on here and I really do think everything will work out alright. As far as your daughter goes, I'm 10000% sure that it's better for a kid to be brought up by single parents than parents stuck in a hugely dysfunctional and irreparable relationship. I think it's gonna be a lot easier for you to be happy, motivated and generally engaged with life away from what was pretty clearly a fucked marriage, and that can only be a good thing for you and ya kid. luv u xx

[Lewis]

Even if they don't they'll all have to pay maintenance (towards Baz's beer fund).

The board will have your back during all this. You can have that money for a Batman outfit and a ladder.

[Baz]

Congratulations.

[Panda Bear]

Obviously we've only heard one side of things, but over the years we've heard Magic work through self-help books, see a doctor about mental health issues, and generally try to find ways to be a better person in his relationship despite his awful stories. Did she ever do anything, or just blame Magic the entire time?

[Pepe]

I think she did a kickboxer.

:safetywink:

:uhoh:

[Magic]

I caught her trying to set up an affair.

[Giggles]

Sorry to hear MJ. Enough of us said before that it might be the best thing in the long run so I really hope it is.

[Spikey M]

LR ain't wrong.

[Panda Bear]

I caught her trying to set up an affair.You deserve better.

You will be okay. This is going to be the hardest time of your life, but you will be okay.

Whatever it is that you need to do for yourself and for your daughter, you can do it.

[Mike]

Hope things pick up for you now :)

Your daughter will be fine, we always say in work it’s better for a child to have two happy parents who aren’t together than two miserable parents who are.

[SvN]

Long overdue, especially after the kickboxer incident, but ultimately the right thing to do. For you and your daughter.

[Shindig]

For the kid's sake, I hope she sorts herself out as well. She can't be straying every so often or wind herself up in a string of shit relationships.

[Magic]

I'm wandering around the house in floods of tears looking at all the drawings she's done of us and family pictures as well. Shit. My entire life for 11 years has just literally disappeared in front of my eyes.

I know in reality it isn't as final as that but this is about to be a long, horrible journey no doubt about it. It's also regurgitated all my buried feelings that I experienced from my own parents' horrific divorce.

Fun times.

[Alan Shearer The 2nd]

Well that's a bit shit, sorry to hear.

[Boydy]

Sorry to hear, Magic. I'm sure it's probably the right thing to do though.

[Spikey M]

Try to think logically (difficult I know), how much do you see your daughter during the week? You will be at work most of the time and her at school(?). Being a 'weekend dad' sounds shit, and obviously you are missing out a bit which is horrible, but try to keep it in perspective. You can still have weekends and it can be 1 on 1 without your cunt of a wife dripping all over your floor.

[John]

Try to think logically (difficult I know), how much do you see your daughter during the week? You will be at work most of the time and her at school(?). Being a 'weekend dad' sounds shit, and obviously you are missing out a bit which is horrible, but try to keep it in perspective. You can still have weekends and it can be 1 on 1 without your cunt of a wife dripping all over your floor.

Correct.

One toxic relationship can spoil a dozen previously good ones, so while this is a chapter of your life ending, and there will be a feeling of loss inherent in that, your other relationships will be better for it.

As I remember you'll actually be binning more than one poisonous cunt with this move, as her entire family sounded just awful.

You'll be a better man, and a better dad, for this. Cry and shout and punch the walls all you need to for now, but assuming even a tenth of what you told us was true this is a wholly positive move.

[-james-]

Sorry to hear, Magic.

Time to up sticks to South Carolina and bang some college sloots.

[Pepe]

Sounds to me like you have your head in the right place. Your daughter is what matters, so just make sure that you are happy when you're together. Oh, and don't go talk shit about her mother when you're with her, that never leads to anything positive. The other side might not extend you the same courtesy unfortunately, but still.

[Magic]

Try to think logically (difficult I know), how much do you see your daughter during the week? You will be at work most of the time and her at school(?). Being a 'weekend dad' sounds shit, and obviously you are missing out a bit which is horrible, but try to keep it in perspective. You can still have weekends and it can be 1 on 1 without your cunt of a wife dripping all over your floor.

Monday: Take her to swimming and put her to bed
Tuesday: Pick her up from mum's and put her to bed
Wednesday: Pick her up from dad's and occassionally put her to bed
Thursday: Take her for dinner after gymnastics and put her to bed
Friday: Usually family friday, dinner together and watch a film
W/E: Again usually more family stuff

We're staying amicable so I'd quite like to do the stuff above, put her to bed and then leave but not sure if that'll float.

I've started changing my bank accounts and looking for a place to stay.

Our mortgage is fixed until Sept next year, I'm willing to pay the mortgage and give them time to get accustomed to me not being there and also to find a place to stay beyond the sale in Sept.

[Spikey M]

Ah. Fair enough. I can only advise to get these things agreed legally if that's the case. Unless you deem her trustworthy enough not to use your kid as a weapon if there's any drama?

[Lewis]

It might be worth toning down things like 'poisonous cunt' and 'the right thing to do' until we know for certain he's past the caving in and going home stage.

[SincereTheRebel]

That "kid as a weapon" tool is super scary/.

[Lewis]

That said, do we have those laws that Tony Soprano donned talking to every good divorce lawyer in the area? Might be worth looking into.

[Magic]

It might be worth toning down things like 'poisonous cunt' and 'the right thing to do' until we know for certain he's past the caving in and going home stage.

I am 100% past that stage. Like I said I've already changed my wage to my dad's bank account until I get another one out.

Trying to find a flat now.

[Lewis]

Well in lad get them scummers out your life.

[Spikey M]

Isn't your dad, erm, well. Maybe someone else's account?

[Baz]

I caught her trying to set up an affair.How did that even come about?

We've all thought for years you'd be better off out of there but obviously didn't know the full story, and it's easier said than done when you're on the outside looking in.

Best of luck with it all. Hopefully Waffdon can hook you up with some rebound babes.

[Spikey M]

It was probably Waff trying it on with her the little shit.

[SvN]

Give us the affair details - how exactly did you catch her? Does she deny it? Who's the guy?

[Kikó]

Correct.

One toxic relationship can spoil a dozen previously good ones, so while this is a chapter of your life ending, and there will be a feeling of loss inherent in that, your other relationships will be better for it.

As I remember you'll actually be binning more than one poisonous cunt with this move, as her entire family sounded just awful.

You'll be a better man, and a better dad, for this. Cry and shout and punch the walls all you need to for now, but assuming even a tenth of what you told us was true this is a wholly positive move.

This.

Great news in all honesty. Move on, enjoy being single and find someone who isn't so corrosive.

[Spikey M]

Did the Newsagent not have this weeks Heat SvN?

[Magic]

She had been really (really) standoffish for around 4 weeks and nasty as hell. Her phone was always in her hand and face down.

She left it on the sofa last night so I trusted my gut and had a look. Found pretty appalling messages such as 'desperate to have a wee affair!' and 'I'll come to your house etc' and requests for videos. It was like an arrow through the heart, in all honesty, because I thought we were on ok terms and we had a great day today.

Confronted her and she went all pale. Not sure if she wanted me to find it or not or how far it would have went or indeed how far it has gone already. That is a moot point because it doesn't affect the outcome. Apparently he was one of her work mate's mates from Glasgow but no idea if I believe that either.

[randomlegend]

'desperate to have a wee affair!'

Wow.

[Magic]

Wow.

Unfortunately that is verbatim.

[randomlegend]

Quite frankly you showed some saintly levels of restraint not setting her on fire after reading that.

[Disco]

That sounds pretty rough, not that there's a nice way to find out. Still, doesn't sound like she was trying very hard to save the relationship so good riddance. Try and keep it amicable is my only advice, everything else will be 1000% easier if you both be (semi)rational about it.

[Magic]

Quite frankly you showed some saintly levels of restraint not setting her on fire after reading that.

And I'm not telling people the real reason why, just saying we decided it was best for all.

[Magic]

That sounds pretty rough, not that there's a nice way to find out. Still, doesn't sound like she was trying very hard to save the relationship so good riddance. Try and keep it amicable is my only advice, everything else will be 1000% easier if you both be (semi)rational about it.

Absolutely. Life is too short.

[AyDee]

Hope everything works out alright for you, Magic. I echo everyone's sentiments about you being better off.

I don't know anything about divorce law in Scotland but hopefully it can be an amicable enough divorce for you.

[Alan Shearer The 2nd]

Fucking hell that's rough.

[Boydy]

And I'm not telling people the real reason why, just saying we decided it was best for all.

That's impressive magnanimity on your part. It must be tough but well done, it's the best thing to do.

[Giggles]

Ordinarily I'd be all for destroying her but yeah, she's your childs mother still so fair play taking the higher road with the info.

[Boom-Boom-18]

Horrible situation but I am sure it will work out for the best in the long run.

[bruhnaldo]

Ya the only reason to be cool with this bitch is so she doesn't try to poison your daughter against you while you're not around.

I fucking hate this person and I don't even know either of you.

[Mazuuurk]

This sucks Magic but, it was always gonna happen sooner or later I guess. May as well plow through the shite now and come out better for it in the end.

Hopefully you'll end up playing this nicely (the way it seems you do), living the single life for a while (at which point she'll attempt to 'get you back' - mark my words), and then eventually meet someone who actually makes you happy most of the time :sorry:

[Spoonsky]

Obvious to say but we're here for you Magic, no matter how shitty it gets \o

[Magic]

Let's not forget I'm a fucking bastard as well.

I'm going to try and as I said maintain my dignity and self respect throughout and rebuild myself that way.

I'm a total mess now though lads, feel like I'm on the verge of a mental breakdown.

[Mazuuurk]

Apart from us, who are obviously here as your main men, do you have any kind of other support-net you can turn to to go out and get pissed and have a rant with?

[Pepe]

Should do a band reunion.

[Manc]

How old is the kid?

[Bam]

Let's not forget I'm a fucking bastard as well.


That's true, lets not. :henn0rz:

[Kikó]

He's not called tragic custard for nothing.

[Queenslander]

Sounds to me like you have your head in the right place. Your daughter is what matters, so just make sure that you are happy when you're together. Oh, and don't go talk shit about her mother when you're with her, that never leads to anything positive. The other side might not extend you the same courtesy unfortunately, but still.

This really is such solid advice.

[Magic]

We had a heart to heart last night. I accepted everything, no hard feelings. I get why she was 'looking for a buzz' no idea if she'd have followed through with it but things really sucked. Also our kid knows now too but not sure if it's sinking in. Tried to explain we're on the same team now, and there will be no more upsetting shouting or arguing.

I am in total disarray. I cry every time I set foot in 'my' house. It's like the STOP button has been pressed instantly, I can't sleep in my bed, I can't hear my daughter snoring, I can't cozy up to my wife, or watch stupid programmes with her. Devastating.

I might vent on here quite a lot so I apologise for that in advance. I need (NEED) to get my shit together with work but I'm really worried I won't be able to. I just cannot be arsed and feel like telling everyone to just fuck off.

EDIT: What is really strange is I can't tell now if the Prozac is working or not, I want to come off them but it might not be the best idea. Fuck sake.

[Greg]

Probably worth seeing a doctor before making any changes to your medicine mate. Hope it all works out for you.

[Alex]

I need (NEED) to get my shit together with work but I'm really worried I won't be able to. I just cannot be arsed and feel like telling everyone to just fuck off.

I don't think anyone would blame you if you took some time off work mate, given the situation. I'm sure that would be relatively easy to sort out with a doctor. But, saying that, I imagine sitting around the house all day with little else to occupy your mind probably isn't a particularly appealing thought either at the minute.

[Lewis]

http://i64.tinypic.com/jhzs6h.png

[Waffdon]

Let’s get a flat together, MJ.

[phonics]

It would be like Andy Carroll moving in with Kevin Noland but there's just two Andy Carrolls.

[Panda Bear]

Don't you fucking dare go off your medication right now. If anything, you might benefit from upping your dosage during this spell.

[Panda Bear]

As for work, you're allowed to request time off in the event of personal emergency. This qualifies.

If they don't give you the respect you deserve for this, then definitely get a new job.

[Spikey M]

Err, yeah, I don't think we should be coming off or increasing medication without speaking to a Dr first.

[Panda Bear]

Err, yeah, I don't think we should be coming off or increasing medication without speaking to a Dr first.

Well, yes.

[Lewis]

If there was ever a time to dabble surely it's these carefree early separation days.

[Kikó]

Get the gear in with Waffles.

[Foe]

Single dads are cool these days magic. Assuming you've still got some hair and a bit of talent on an instrument you'll be fine.

Embrace it and enjoy when you're around your kid. Great opportunity to go out and do shit when you have her, rather than just amble about the house in your pants.

Chin up and keep on rolling. She sounds shit anyway.

[Mazuuurk]

Ah fuck, if that's the score then I'd be really fucked if me and my lady split.

[Baz]

And I'm not telling people the real reason why, just saying we decided it was best for all.Why is this? I know you say you’re a bastard but surely you’ve not been caught doing anything as bad as texting someone saying you’d desperately like an affair? If it was the other way around, would she not throw you under the bus so all your joint-friends would side with her?

[SvN]

Because he needs to maintain a civil relationship with her, for the good of the child. It's not about scoring points or doing what she would do.

[Magic]

Listen it isn't like this was a glorious, loving relationship. We both neglected each other terribly and that was the last straw. Unfortunately I was ok to remain status quo until my hospital appointment (today, funnily enough) where I was hoping to get an ADHD diagnosis and re-start my life.

I didn't want to go private as I thought what harm could it be waiting another 5 months. Well, there you go.

[Kikó]

Because he needs to maintain a civil relationship with her, for the good of the child. It's not about scoring points or doing what she would do.

Absolutely this. No time for scoring points when there's a kid in the mixer.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

If it gets nasty the kid suffers the most.

Magic is playing it right thus far.

[Magic]

It won't get nasty.

I really can't comprehend my life at the moment. One minute totally safe and secure, now I'm living in my dad's basement, can't eat, heavily depressed, fucking my work up, can't see my daughter because every time I do I fall apart. Fuck sake.

[SvN]

I don't want to put the boot in, but it hasn't been safe and secure in years based on your posts here.

[Magic]

I don't want to put the boot in, but it hasn't been safe and secure in years based on your posts here.

I know, I was probably sleepwaking and/or deluded. However, it was all I knew. Now I have nothing.

[randomlegend]

You've got me.

[SvN]

At least now you can hopefully focus on actually having a happy life.

[Magic]

Well I pretty much got my ADHD diag, going back tomorrow to start meds.

Having had an almost 2hr therapy session the guy thought there might be other issues waiting to rear their head when I told him my life from childhood to now (lol).

I can't say I feel suicidal, but it can't be far off it. I have never, ever felt as low as I do now.

[Magic]

rip

:D

Touche.

[Manc]

Kickboxer 6: Gubbed.

[Spikey M]

Have you made any steps towards formalising your arrangement Magic? How are you getting on?

[7om]

Hope it all works out for you, Magic.

[Magic]

Thanks everyone.

I've had a complete and utter nervous and mental breakdown. I didn't eat for 3 days, I cried like hell, I didn't sleep etc. I truly bottomed out, worst I have ever felt. I actually did contemplate taking my own life. Won't lie.

So, I'm starting my recovery. I want to be friends with my wife, we're actually really good friends anyway but we just can't live with each other, too different. We haven't gotten on this well for years and years. I am really happy with this outcome. I am still hurt and angry about the messages but I would have been quite happy to tootle on being miserable because I was so content. Not fair on either of us.

My meds are helping, I feel way more organised I've actually created a Google calendar to do the weekly schedule. We know we'll be busy (especially me re-discovering myself) so we're taking an ad-hoc approach to looking after Amber, and will utilise our extensive network of babysitters wisely. Going to meet the teacher next week to explain about our decision and my diagnosis so if she has even an inkling of it we can action it straight away.

I have to find new hobbies, I'm joining the council gym, I've got a book on my Adult ADHD and I'm going to start a journal of my feelings so I can see progress.

Just thinking about all this is literally making me feel sick, but it's that homesick kind of feeling, sort of like first day of a new school rather than absolute dread and not wanting to live.

Overall, holy shit this actually might have been the right thing to do. However, I still feel desperately afraid, nervous, anxious and stressed. But there is hope I feel. decision and

[Giggles]

This split sounds the right thing but you won't be friends with your ex wife. No matter how good the intentions it won't work that way in the long run and the sooner you both start going forward without thinking that the better it'll be as regards a big blow-up later. I can understand at this stage how the thought can help though.

[Foe]

Joining a gym is a good start as it'll give you some schedule to follow but suggest joining some kind of team club / sport.

God forbid even something like crossfit. Find a new group of people completely outwith your existing circle. Fresh start, new you and great chance to meet new people.

It's good to talk though or write your feelings down though.

You going to start playing drums again?

[Spikey M]

Agree with Giggles. Friends with your wife isn't going to last. You're both starting your own new lives and at some point that will involve one of your toes getting stepped on. Being civil and pleasant is positive, but I think a level of distance should be kept and any contact not related to your daughter is probably not going to help in the long run.

[Foe]

Shit will hit the fan when either of you meet someone else.

It's inevitable, particularly if the other one hasn't quite come to terms with it. It might be you on the receiving end, and you need to get your head around that and accept it as a possibility for the sake of your daughter.

TTH is there for you if you need.

[Magic]

This split sounds the right thing but you won't be friends with your ex wife. No matter how good the intentions it won't work that way in the long run and the sooner you both start going forward without thinking that the better it'll be as regards a big blow-up later. I can understand at this stage how the thought can help though.

I disagree, I know a few people who are so amicable they can have cups of tea at respective houses, still text a bit (not daily or anything) and are just good friends.

[Ian]

Are they friends though? Or just friendly? Because there is a difference.

[Giggles]

I disagree, I know a few people who are so amicable they can have cups of tea at respective houses, still text a bit (not daily or anything) and are just good friends.

Well I can only hope you're right.

[Magic]

Are they friends though? Or just friendly? Because there is a difference.

Indeed, a fair point. It'll be very hard the whole dating piece, very hard indeed. However the more I think about it I really don't think we loved each other romantically so it actually might not be. It'll be the step thing that does me in most.

[Ian]

Friendly is achievable. I think being friends is not only a little unrealistic but not necessarily a good thing because it's an attachment of sorts. Friendly detachment so you can not have shit going down any time you try and sort stuff out regarding the kid but also not care when she's seeing other people or whatever is the key.

[Magic]

Joining a gym is a good start as it'll give you some schedule to follow but suggest joining some kind of team club / sport.

God forbid even something like crossfit. Find a new group of people completely outwith your existing circle. Fresh start, new you and great chance to meet new people.

It's good to talk though or write your feelings down though.

You going to start playing drums again?

I actually hate playing sports tbh. Even 5s. Yes going to start playing drums again, absolutely.


Agree with Giggles. Friends with your wife isn't going to last. You're both starting your own new lives and at some point that will involve one of your toes getting stepped on. Being civil and pleasant is positive, but I think a level of distance should be kept and any contact not related to your daughter is probably not going to help in the long run.

I know mate. Like I said it isn't like we'll be going to the pics together or anything, but I'd love to be friendly enough to perhaps to go mutual friends weddings (together?) if there is no scope for 4 people and just 2 during the day, if that makes sense.


Shit will hit the fan when either of you meet someone else.

It's inevitable, particularly if the other one hasn't quite come to terms with it. It might be you on the receiving end, and you need to get your head around that and accept it as a possibility for the sake of your daughter.

TTH is there for you if you need.

I already have. Everything will hurt big time, I know that. It wouldn't take much to have me bubbling again really but I'm being very open about this and talking about it like fuck, am I hell bottling it up. I know who and who not to open up to though.

[Magic]

Friendly is achievable. I think being friends is not only a little unrealistic but not necessarily a good thing because it's an attachment of sorts. Friendly detachment so you can not have shit going down any time you try and sort stuff out regarding the kid but also not care when she's seeing other people or whatever is the key.

Yeah I think I can't define friendship at the moment. I didn't really have any as my entire focus, my entire life was her. I need to learn how to rebuild these neglected friendships and find new ones. At present, a friendship to me is maybe a text once a month or a night out every now and then.

I'm hoping this will help me to realise the difference between a good friendship and a good relationship.

[Magic]

As an aside, I'll be going to pick up most of my clothes and other bits and bobs tomorrow (coffee machine, work stuff, toiletries etc) and I think I might break down again. I am hoping not to.

Also I will be using TTH as an outlet, so sorry about that in advance. It's good to get it all off my chest to impartial people who don't have any bias.

I'll make sure my kid is sleeping so she doesn't see me moving out. Heartbreaking.

[Spikey M]

I know mate. Like I said it isn't like we'll be going to the pics together or anything, but I'd love to be friendly enough to perhaps to go mutual friends weddings (together?) if there is no scope for 4 people and just 2 during the day, if that makes sense.

Absolutely. You're bonded for life through your kid, so there's going to be events you both want to be at and will be united through. If you can balance that with a respectful amount of space and boundaries they you'll be on to a winner.

[Magic]

Sorry I meant to say I am going to live with my dad for a few months, I enjoy the company with all my siblings and I don't feel stable enough to live on my own just yet. I have my own room in the basement and my kid can stay here anytime. Going to put money away, I basically will be paying out £650 plus some living stuff then anything else is pure saving.

Hopefully my comish starts to come in.

[Magic]

Also the morning of my peak mental breakdown, I accidentally dropped my car keys in a big pile of dog shit.

[Giggles]

Don't get her too used to you paying for everything though. Proper permanent arrangements need to be made about the house.

[Spikey M]

As an aside, I'll be going to pick up most of my clothes and other bits and bobs tomorrow (coffee machine, work stuff, toiletries etc) and I think I might break down again. I am hoping not to.

Also I will be using TTH as an outlet, so sorry about that in advance. It's good to get it all off my chest to impartial people who don't have any bias.

I'll make sure my kid is sleeping so she doesn't see me moving out. Heartbreaking.

You seem to be doing everything the right way. Just keep putting one foot in front of the other.

My wife's mate split up with he husband in June after he was caught doing the same stuff your wife was, and the situation is utter madness. Their 5 year old still doesn't know they're split up*. They're telling him he's living with his nan and grandad because it's closer to work. They've taken him to Lego Land and spent the night, very uncomfortably, in the same bed rather than just telling him. Fuck knows how and when you come clean at this point. They have his best interests at heart, but still. Madness.

*he must know really. He's not thick.

[Magic]

Don't get her too used to you paying for everything though. Proper permanent arrangements need to be made about the house.

I know, I just want to help and support but that isn't my role anymore. I just want to make sure my daughter is 100% ok. I feel nauseous thinking about it.

The mortgage contract expires in Sept, it will be going on the market in August and it'll probably sell within a week.

[Ian]

Also the morning of my peak mental breakdown, I accidentally dropped my car keys in a big pile of dog shit.

I know that for you this would have been a proper "Welp, just when it couldn't get any worse" sort of a moment but I properly lol'd. I'm sorry.

[Offshore Toon]

Joining the gym will do you a lot of good. Being able to see and feel positive change does wonders for the mind.

[Lewis]

Mert

[Lewis]

Feel like Nick Fury at the end of Infinity War tagging him.

[mugbull]

I'm pretty sure Lewis took that approach as well, not sure why he's deflecting

[Shindig]

Mert can't help him. He's a cuck.

[Bam]

joining the gym will be good to see some fine gash on the treadmill. :drool:

[Spikey M]

In Dundee?

[Bam]

Yeah true.

[Kikó]

Dundee fitness first has a combo of huge blokes, old women and relatively attractive women. He'll be fine.

[Foe]

Need a spotter :uhoh:

[Foe]

Just to be clear. I'll be spotting women, not helping you lift.

[Magic]

And they'll be ignoring you because you have no hair.

[Foe]

The beauty of the hunt is that just doesn't matter.

[Waffdon]

Dundee fitness first has a combo of huge blokes, old women and relatively attractive women. He'll be fine.

That’s been gone for years, hasn’t it?

[Kikó]

It's DW but they're the same mob.

[Smjffy]

Don't worry MJ, my partner and I ended it yesterday too. You'll be alright.

[Bam]

How much did she fleece you for in the end?

[Smjffy]

£6,000 near enough.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

:D

lol.

[Smjffy]

I know. Just think of the squad I could have built.

I prefer to think of the positives. Money comes and goes but it was worth it for a short time.

[Baz]

Hannah Banana RIP

[Bam]

Money does not come and go and some Romanian slag just nicked six bags off you.

[Smjffy]

Each to their own. Money doesn't come into it when it's your family. She might not have been my mother but I eventually got my head around that. Natural to feel sceptic.

We only parted ways because I moved back to my home town and she wanted to go be with her mam.

[SvN]

How did she con you?

[Smjffy]

She didn't. It's a non issue

[Waffdon]

Someone was found washed up on Carnoustie beach this afternoon and I legitimately shit myself and check MJ’s latest activity straight away. Not good for a Sunday.

[Boydy]

How's the weekend been, Magic?

[Magic]

Fine, just been for a swim.

[Waffdon]

Come out in the ferry next Friday, Son. Or Sunday for Christmas Jumper night out x

[Lewis]

That second one might end up with a new meaning.

[7om]

:D Christ

[Bam]

Who could turn down a night out with Waff and the 'LADS'? :lewis:

[Giggles]

Right here. I'd rather give myself a back, sack, and crack with a micro plane.

[Bam]

:D

[Offshore Toon]

Lewis. :D

[Raoul Duke]

Feel like Nick Fury at the end of Infinity War tagging him.

This was mega

[Waffdon]

Who could turn down a night out with Waff and the 'LADS'? :lewis:

Sophisticated night out with the missus I’ll have you know.

[Bam]

You wanted Magic to go out with you and your missus? This is going down the Kiko-Phonics swingers path by the sounds of it. :|

[Waffdon]

He needs an uplift. I’m sure he’d appreciate the generosity.

[Spikey M]

It'll take more than your skinny jeans to turn him.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

It'll take more than your skinny jeans to turn him.

The coke has done wonders for his figure.

[Waffdon]

I’m not about that life anymore, Sir. Well, special occasions only.

[Kikó]

You wanted Magic to go out with you and your missus? This is going down the Kiko-Phonics swingers path by the sounds of it. :|

I refute this allegation.

[Spikey M]

I refute this allegation.

The coke has done wonders for his figure.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Kiko wouldn't let Phonics' shrivelled up diseased worm near his wife.

Keeks probably likes a bit of rough now and then though, makes him feel alive.

[Bam]

The coke has done wonders for his cock.

[Mazuuurk]

Or is it the other way around...? :sherlock:

[Bam]

Probably. :charm:

[Waffdon]

Kiko wouldn't let Phonics' shrivelled up diseased worm near his wife.

Keeks probably likes a bit of rough now and then though, makes him feel alive.

Lol, what.

[Lewis]

I saved this (https://i.ibb.co/6DWM8RM/XzhT0xp.jpg) picture ages ago because it looked like 'Daws' and now it finally has its moment. :happycry:

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

:D

Glorious.

[phonics]

I refute this allegation.

I refute the smiley face he used. I think it would be a pleasant experience for all involved.

[Bam]

I refute the smiley face he used. I think it would be a pleasant experience for all involved.


He wants to fuck Mrs Kiko and Mr Kiko. :D

[Boydy]

Have you seen the Kikos?

[Smjffy]

His Mrs is a bit tasty in fairness to him but then so is he.

[Bam]

He wants to fuck Mrs Kiko and Mr Kiko. :D
No.

[Spoonsky]

Sounds like you’re doing great Magic all things considering. :thbup:

[bruhnaldo]

Wow there's even thread tags.

[Kikó]

I saved this (https://i.ibb.co/6DWM8RM/XzhT0xp.jpg) picture ages ago because it looked like 'Daws' and now it finally has its moment. :happycry:

Half me, half De Gayer.

[Lewis]

Half you, all Fox.

[Kikó]

IN THE FACE.

sperm.

[Magic]

Just packed my entire life in to my car and moved it down to my dads. :(

Granted I left a lot of it up there just the stuff I needed but had the same heart-wrenching anxiety, terror and dread I had when I moved from the family home age 14 in with my dad. :(

[SvN]

Get your matching Ted Baker suits on and head down to the pub.

[Baz]

How've work been with you?

Presumably you're "off sick" at the moment?

[Magic]

Ex-wife in being a cunt shocker.

[Boydy]

What's she doing?

[Lewis]

Taken him back.

[Spikey M]

Magic, seriously, you need to get everything sorted legally. Get a Lawyer and get money, access, responsibilities and rights agreed and written down. Everything you've told us points to her not being decent/stable enough to be trusted with an informal agreement.

Get things sorted formally. Keep your relationship civil, but ultimately you will need boundaries.

[Magic]

Taken him back.

She's not that bad.

[Spikey M]

She probably is.

Don't.

[Magic]

Magic, seriously, you need to get everything sorted legally. Get a Lawyer and get money, access, responsibilities and rights agreed and written down. Everything you've told us points to her not being decent/stable enough to be trusted with an informal agreement.

Get things sorted formally. Keep your relationship civil, but ultimately you will need boundaries.

Of course I will, if its required.

She's gutted I'm not a fucking mess, and that I've really taken this opportunity to change my life for the better.

[Manc]

Get the van.

[Spikey M]

Of course I will, if its required.

She's gutted I'm not a fucking mess, and that I've really taken this opportunity to change my life for the better.

That alone tells you that it is required. If she wants you to be a mess, she can make you a mess. She holds all the cards right now.

[Danny]

That alone tells you that it is required. If she wants you to be a mess, she can make you a mess. She holds all the cards right now.

1000% times this. How can someone be low enough to be "gutted" the person they were looking to cheat on isn't a mess?

You got yourself out and you are using this as a kick starter to get yourself right again. You are going right. As Spikey says she seems vindictive enough to try and drag you back down.

[Magic]

Of course. But I won't let her. I'm stronger than that now. I have grace, dignity and self respect.

[Spikey M]

'Hey, can I see my daughter tomorrow?'

No, busy.

'Wednesday?'

No.

'Thursday?'

Nope.

She very easily can.

[Vercetti]

Has someone given MJ the Yul Brenner speech from Cool Runnings?

[Ian]

Of course. But I won't let her. I'm stronger than that now. I have grace, dignity and self respect.

Are they cats, fish or what?

[Danny]

Of course. But I won't let her. I'm stronger than that now. I have grace, dignity and self respect.

And that, based on what you are saying, is only going to make her stoop lower.

[Queenslander]

Imagine what she can do to you in the next 12 months without the protection of custody papers etc?

[Magic]

Scots Law isn't like that.

[Queenslander]

Fair enough, sorry mate.

[Magic]

Watching your kid go screaming in to the other car to be taken back home is pretty hard, I won't lie. And I thought I was doing well.

[Manc]

Kidnapping?

[mo]

Watching your kid go screaming in to the other car to be taken back home is pretty hard, I won't lie. And I thought I was doing well.

Thing is, it's still early days yet. You've got more setbacks to come I'm afraid, but your ability to cope with these will build over time.

[Magic]

Thing is, it's still early days yet. You've got more setbacks to come I'm afraid, but your ability to cope with these will build over time.

I didn't cry or anything, but it pretty much shat on my night. Couldn't enjoy the match at all and went for a quiet walk along the beach. I guess the difference is I spent that time thinking about how I could be the best I can possibly be in order to ensure happiness for us. That alone is an absolutely huge change of mindset.

[Shindig]

Remember that kids are retarded. They'll cry over anything.

[SincereTheRebel]

Stay strong Magic you scumabg.

[Adamski]

Ah shit Magic, sorry to hear this. Sounds like you're being really positive about it though.

[Magic]

Omg mini John is back. This makes it all worthwhile. :drool:

[SincereTheRebel]

Magic

Nice little match for you


https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-6593469/England-keeper-Jordan-Pickfords-pregnant-fianc-e-engagement-ring-cut-off.html

[Ian]

Oof.

[Magic]

Feel her pain. :(

Except mine was like £150, and I couldn't give a fuck.

[Magic]

I am desperately unwell, so I may update this thread on my experiences so far.

[Manc]

Please don't.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Please do.

[Boydy]

Share if it helps. Don't if it doesn't.

Hope you're okay.

[Magic]

It will. Its not for anyone to lol at really just maybe highlight the unexpected difficulties and at the same time unexpected pleasant bits.

[bruhnaldo]

#MagzLetsTalk :)

[John]

Please don't.

Fuck off forever.

[Giggles]

If it helps then it helps. Glad to hear there's some pleasant bits at this stage anyway at least.

[Magic]

The Good:

I am happy within myself (happier). It is a daily struggle and seems so easy to just give up. But I won't. I am on a treatment plan and it is doing wonders for my mental health.
I am developing a seriously good relationship with my daughter. We have vision boards, and she's actually a bloody good drummer.
I am in so much more control of my finances. My credit card spend is minimal and I buy what would benefit me (and my daughter).
My ADHD is under control. The medication has worked wonders and I am a totally different person in work.
Exercising is really helping me as well. 3 x a week at the gym. I have little else to do at this point so putting it to good use.
I am exploring old friendships and re-igniting, obviously only those that will benefit from me, and I will benefit from them.
My depression, or the remnants of it, have all but disappeared (for now). I am fully weaned off the Prozac which is great.
I seem to be really connecting with my family, all sides of it.

The Bad:

My ex-wife is still a bit of a cunt, she'll never be empathetic, I see that now even towards our daughter.
This results in most conversations being ok, but they are always centred around poor old her. I'd love to cave her skull in, don't get me wrong, but her doing well is CRITICAL to my daughter's wellbeing.
I am lonely. No point in hiding that. I occasionally get homesick.
I feel sometimes I am walking a tightrope and have to fight like a warrior to stay on.
It is hard to admit I am living with my dad. No shame in that I know but I've been independent since 19. This is a step back.
I am financially struggling, having taken that big pay cut and not sold what I had expected. Paying a mortgage and board is difficult.
I am finding it hard to socialise. When you're married, who cares. It's fine if you sit on your phone or only talk to that couple you know. As a single, that is unacceptable behaviour really.
I cannot bear to look at new photos of my ex. Cannot bear it. I need to get over this I know, but time etc.

The Ugly:

I got my daughter to open up, turns out she thought it was all her fault and she shouldn't have 'let me go'. Her world is crushed etc. She doesn't even wish to be a mermaid anymore (her wish since day 0), just to have me back in the house. I've never really been heartbroken before, truly heartbroken. But I think I was at that point. I almost turned myself inside out not to burst in to tears and apologise.
She wrote me a heartbreaking card apologising for being upset. If anyone made my kid feel like that, I'd kill 'em. How can it be when that person is you.
She keeps referring to 'never say never' and 'you might get back together' which is like a knife being plunged in to your heart.
In fact, the only ugly is the emotional distress of my daughter. It is horrific. Absolutely...horrific. It generates churn and sorrow like nothing else.

I am so determined to have an aligned approach for our daughter I may have conceded on a few things. I have bit my tongue repeatedly. When our house sells in September, I can be a lot more assertive. It just feels like one wrong move and things could go very bad. So I'm trying to keep her sweet. That's not to say I'm only doing it until I get the money, but I'm not bending over backwards to accommodate a single-minded, selfish cunt.

I've drawn my red-line (she DOES NOT move school) and beyond that nothing is of my concern, unless it is to do with my daughter.

#warandpeace

It is hard, very hard. But it's been so worth it now. No more constant anxiety, tension, arguing, wasting my life etc. Wonderful. I am not thinking too far in to the future, but taking it day by day as best I can.

Had I not had ADHD, would I be divorced? Maybe not, but I certainly wouldn't be married to my ex, put it that way. :)

From the 8th of December, 2018, my life began again. And now I can fulfil my dreams, my goals, my vision. This time, though, I have all the incentive in the world to achieve it.

[bruhnaldo]

Magic i have to say reading that makes me very happy for you.

Your feelings w/r/t your daughters feelings are obviously very normal and expected. Hell, my parents got divorced when I was 18/19 and I still felt like maybe I had something to do with their unhappiness. It's natural, I think for most people, to go through those feelings. Obviously, she'll have it a little more difficult given her age to process these emotions, but how you're handling all of these things is so great.

I'm so happy to hear she's a good drummer and you guys are making great memories together. This will only continue to get better as you work through the transition together and I'm so excited for you.

Your ex has always been extraordinarily self-centered so I'm not surprised she's doing the same now. All I can say is just keep positive with your daughter and do your very best with your ex especially when she's around. Let's be honest, at the end of the day your daughter will grow up and realize it's not her (your daughter's) fault but likely "her crazy psycho mum". She'll still love her mum, but she'll respect you for being good about it and not trying to put your daughter in between your difference with your ex.

I'm really excited to see how your relationship with your daughter blossoms. You'll ironically likely spend more time together because you'll have to MAKE the time to go DO things... instead of just being around in the same house and that being enough.

Much love your way, e-friend xx.

[Magic]

Yep, that's exactly how I feel. It's pure, quality time. Not taken for granted in any way at all.

[Boydy]

Sounds like you're handling it all very well and making good strides in terms of your mental health. KUTGW.

[Panda Bear]

Magic, two things.
1. I am proud of you, and you are doing the right things. I cannot imagine how difficult this is for you.
2. If you're feeling lonely, play Haxball with us. :henn0rz:

[Kikó]

In other good news*, I'll be up in March Magic and we can have a beer.

*it's a joke. I'm delighted you seem to have found some peace in your life. My parents split when I was young and it turned out ok. Kids are resilient. Be a good dad like you are.

[SvN]

How come your house is definitely selling in September?

[Magic]

In other good news*, I'll be up in March Magic and we can have a beer.

*it's a joke. I'm delighted you seem to have found some peace in your life. My parents split when I was young and it turned out ok. Kids are resilient. Be a good dad like you are.

I'd genuinely make a big effort to come and see you mate. :thbup:

[Magic]

How come your house is definitely selling in September?

On market in June, sale date 2nd of Sept when fixed mortgage ends.

It will sell instantly and I'm not being presumptuous.

[SvN]

Are you able to buy yourself once it all goes through?

[Lewis]

When my brother bought his first house his bird clocked that the owners were separated and they were able to knock them right down.

[Magic]

Are you able to buy yourself once it all goes through?

Yep! It may not be as big or nice but yes. In the same area.

[Clunge]

Every bit of that sounds rational, reasonable, sensible, logical, understandable and inevitable. It sounds wholly like you’re doing your bit, holding up your end of the bargain, doing best by your daughter and crucially yourself, and stoicly riding out the worst of it. It sounds so dumb and basic to say it, but you will get your life back with the help of some graft right now. I also don’t think you can underestimate those most basic of changes like exercise and just catching up with people that have fallen by the wayside. And the right meds, ofc.

Good luck amigo.