Public toilets

[leedsrevolution]

Lift the fucking toilet lid up for fuck sake. Who are these people who can’t use fucking toilets.

[igor_balis]

assumed this was a hammer thread for a second

[Kikó]

The wild pissing circle is always a highlight.

[igor_balis]

Oh actually I have a decent public toilet anecdote. Went for a shit in some toilets near Manchester Victoria. Bloke went into the cubicle next to mine, and quite audibly started wanking. No, it couldn't have been anything else, I know what wanking sounds like.

I don't like shitting in public toilets at the best of times, so if it was closer to rabbit pellets on the Bristol Stool Chart I'm sure my sphincter would have seized up and I'd have made a hasty escape to finish my dirty work later. However, it was a fucking disgusting hangover ale poo, with the smell, appearance and consistency of a chicken and John Smiths jalfrezi, pausing would have been physically impossible. Took about five minutes, and when I finished the geezer was still at it in the next cubicle.

Came out and a bloke with his small son had a look of absolute disgust and I'm still not sure if it was because of the smell coming from my cubicle or the sound coming from the next one.

[niko_cee]

I didn't think most public toilets had lids.

[Lewis]

I find more annoyance in sinks than the toilets themselves. The ones that only give you cold water make me seethe, and which wank thought square, flat-bottomed sinks were a good idea? Sinks are (or were) a solved problem. If the bottom is flat then the water goes all over.

[Spikey M]

There a fat, stinking old cunt at my work that doesn’t even pretend to wash his hands. It doesn’t matter how many people are in there, he will exit the cubicle, start an awkward conversation (whether you’re at the sink of urinal) then exit with you.

[mugbull]

Kill him

[Shindig]

Our work has previously had a shit bandit and a piss bandit. We suspect it's one of the cleaners. I have one simple request when it comes to this stuff: Flush your shits, please. Our building is awful for that.

[igor_balis]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N3reAaVYkSE

[SincereTheRebel]

I don't think many people actually look in public toilets after it has been flushed for speed purposes.

I don't think people will stay to clean the mess they have left, because of its a public toilet.

The private toilets are much better. I would rather pay the £1 in the turnstile for a much cleaner place.

[bruhnaldo]

I don't think many people actually look in public toilets after it has been flushed for speed purposes.

Oh God at my job that's like my #1 nightmare to walk out and have left a mess of any kind and someone come in right after me

[Pepe]

How hard is it to shit at home every morning?

[SincereTheRebel]

I usually drop the bomb within an hour of getting out bed and once i get home. Turns out its every 12 hours or so. However, someones I try and force it out in the morning, but I cant.

[Boydy]

How hard is it to shit at home every morning?

Boss gets a dollar, I get a dime, that's why I shit on company time.

[Spikey M]

Being paid to take a shit is an underrated pleasure. I’ve known people that have stroked one out in the toilets, which is the logical conclusion, but I’m not willing to lower myself that far.

[John]

Boss gets a dollar, I get a dime, that's why I shit on company time.

That's the worst possible version of 'Life is shit and then you die, so fuck the world and let's get high.'

[Baz]

Which is apparently the shit version of "life's a bitch and then you die, that's why we get high."

[Baz]

Cos you never know when you're gonna go.

[Spikey M]

Which is apparently the shit version of "life's a bitch and then you die, that's why we get high."

Which is the shot version of:


https://youtu.be/YOn4vg0JIAo
:drool:

[SincereTheRebel]

When I buy a box of chocolates. I know exactly what flavours are in the box. I prefer Quality Street over Roses and Celebrations because of the purple one and the long chewy toffee gold.

Things must be different where Gump is from. Chocolate must be like Revels, but they are all the same shape and size.

[Kikó]

How hard is it to shit at home every morning?

Why would you do that?

[Giggles]

I don't want to use the work toilets. People can hear.

[SincereTheRebel]

I don't want to use the work toilets. People can hear.

What noises are coming from your toilet time? (don't answer that)

My friend claims his brother. When he goes to the toilets he likes to take off all his clothes. Regardless if it's at home or in a public toilet. I never believed him.

[mugbull]

if you drink coffees, you're gonna need to shit more than once a day

[bruhnaldo]

What noises are coming from your toilet time? (don't answer that)

i'm sorry..do you shit in silence? (don't answer that)

[Spikey M]

Americans can’t do anything quietly.

[Shindig]

Bruh can't shit without chanting U-S-A!

[Jimmy Floyd]

People who get all prissy about piss and shit can do one. We all do it, get on with it.

'Ooh the seat might be dirty!'

Of course it's dirty, it has people's naked arses on it daily. Get over it.

[Spikey M]

I don’t care how dirty your arse is. Just wash your fucking hands.