New football thread (week commencing 14/04/18)

[Pleb]

Saturday
Southampton v Chelsea - 12:30 - Sky
Burnley v Leicester City
Crystal Palace v Brighton
Huddersfield v Watford
Swansea v Everton
Liverpool v Bournemouth - 17:30 - BT
Tottenham v Man City - 19:45 - Sky

Super Sunday
Newcastle v Arsenal - 13:30 - Sky
Man Utd v West Brom - 16:00 - Sky

MNF
West Ham v Stoke - 20:00 - Sky

Tuesday
Brighton v Tottenham - 19:45 - Sky

Wednesday
Bournemouth v Man Utd - 19:45 - Sky

Thursday
Burnley v Chelsea - 19:45 - Sky
Leicester v Southampton - 19:45

(http://www.live-footballontv.com/)

[Pleb]

Oh yeah Villa versus Leeds tonight if your Magic and/or you give a shit.

[Lewis]

Proper SUPER SUNDAY that.

[SincereTheRebel]

Wolves will be promoted to the big league once they beat those scumbags at sunday lunchtime. Will be in the building.

[Giggles]

What sort of kick off time is that on a Saturday?

[Pleb]

Title match init.

[Magic]

2,3,4,5-0 and 3-0 with Snodgrass to score at any time.

Any of those come in and I've at least doubled my money.

[Jimmy Floyd]

I doubt we'll win either of those games. Might as well play the kids.

[niko_cee]

2,3,4,5-0 and 3-0 with Snodgrass to score at any time.

Any of those come in and I've at least doubled my money.

I'm not ashamed to admit this raised a smile.

[Magic]

That's the most Leeds Utd thing I've ever seen. I want to frame it.

Didn't expect them to be so shit.

[Ian]

Leeds Leeds Leeds.

[Pleb]

http://www.bbc.co.uk/sport/football/43760286

Pep knows.

[Shindig]

Hopefully Arsenal concentrate on Europe enough to field a team of Emanuel Frimpongs against us.

[Baz]

Honestly not that bothered if we beat Bournemouth; I just can’t wait for the Roma game at Anfield now. :drool:

[Spikey M]

2,3,4,5-0 and 3-0 with Snodgrass to score at any time.

Any of those come in and I've at least doubled my money.

:rosebud:

[John Arne]

If anyone wants to watch some proper football before the EPL, Ho Chi Minh City FC taking on Nam Dinh at Thiên Trường Stadium on a proper boggy pitch.

https://www.facebook.com/550088555327315/videos/603013060034864/

[niko_cee]

Chelsea really are absolute cancer at the moment. Could do without them gifting Southampton 3 points here.

[Giggles]

Long should have stayed down there the twat.

[Dquincy]

Chelsea really are absolute cancer at the moment. Could do without them gifting Southampton 3 points here.

Why?

[niko_cee]

Brighton interest.

Although it makes the rewards of doing Palace even greater, I suppose.

Chelsea may as well biff Conte this evening. How many hundred million is it Hazard is meant to be worth?

[Giggles]

They fucking deserve to go down for this.

[niko_cee]

:jayjay:

I'm claiming an assist on that one, sorry Andy.

[Waffdon]

Giroud :drool:

[Magic]

Saving accas all over the place.

[Disco]

Turned over in 15 minutes by a team who aren't really trying, they should be relegated for this alone.

[phonics]

Hopefully Arsenal concentrate on Europe enough to field a team of Emanuel Frimpongs against us.

Jens Lehmann was playing outfield in training today we're so short of midfielders.

[Giggles]

Take Southampton out back and put them out of their misery.

[Magic]

Mark Hughes. :lol:

With him and Pardew's recent run now hopefully that merry go round of shite English managers is put to bed.

And Welsh.

British.

[Lewis]

lol at Harry Kane being up for Young Player of the Year. Those age brackets must have been out of date for about thirty years now.

[John Arne]

Gonzalo Guedes looks like one very, very good player.

[Mike]

That Salah goal!

[Giggles]

Can someone not do the right thing and Haaland him?

[Giggles]

Fulham :harold:

[phonics]

And Wolves go up. Has there ever not been a Midlands club in the top division?

Leicester/Forest/Derby don't count.

[Giggles]

That Ricky Villa goal that they always show wasn't all that special. Is it just because it was in a final?

[Mike]

Even Hendo is mocking Kane :D

985225671222923264

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Clearly outside the box.

[Giggles]

There's about 8 here for City if they want them.

[Shindig]

http://www.bbc.co.uk/sport/football/43771452

Calm down, lads. It was a penalty she didn't even give.

[Giggles]

Juventus really need to get over themselves.

[John Arne]

Has Buffon come out and admitted that he acted a prick, yet?

[Giggles]

Has Buffon come out and admitted that he acted a prick, yet?

He seems the type that will defend his actions to the grave.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

http://www.bbc.co.uk/sport/football/43772072

Giggles is spot on.

[Ian]

What a shithead.

[Kikó]

In Portuguese football news, Benfica v Porto at 6 today to decide the title. Benfica need to avoid defeat and it'll be there's pretty much.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Every development on the Buffon story winds me up even more. Just who does he think he is?

Michael Oliver should come out and call him a corrupt fucking greaseball.

[Kikó]

They should do a sports relief boxing match.

[Giggles]

Never realised there was a Sky Sports Football way up on 407 and thought Wolves were on BT.

[Giggles]

How many of these are on loan with wolves? I presume they'll be splashing cash next season though.

[Jimmy Floyd]

They're all on loan from Mendes, even if they're officially signed for Wolves. Someone told me the other day they are all being paid under the odds to stay within FFP (and presumably paid the rest under the table).

[Giggles]

Presumably everyone will be rooting for them to go back down then. I like them even more now.

[Jimmy Floyd]

They should piss top 6 really.

[phonics]

Everything I've seen of Joe Willock is that he's really not any good at all so lets see how he does against FEC Jonj.

[Baz]

I like the Wolves “model.” So many clubs have rich owners who are just happy to paddle about it whichever league they bought them in, whereas Wolves have bought* a load of really good players and play really good football. They’re even better than the Leicester team who came up. They really could quite easily finish in the European qualification spots next season, the way they’re going.

*see Jimmy’s post re Mendes.

[Magic]

Cheats.

[phonics]

Mustafi is balling at being beaten at the near post.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

:lol:

[Jimmy Floyd]

Willock will be playing for Southend by 2020 and Sutton by 2022.

[Pleb]

Not before Torquay signs him on loan first that is if we survive not going out of business.

[Spikey M]

People from Wolverhampton, with the exception of those from Dudley, have the worst accent in the country. If their mob start calling in to Radio and TV shows then they will need to be removed from the league with force.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Like Watford fans, they get massively defensive if anyone questions their 'model'.

[Lewis]

I wonder which MODEL has proven to be the most successful. Swansea don't really have one now; Southampton are on their way out; Chelsea are on the verge of becoming Arsenal; Burnley will end up getting sanctioned for racist selection policies... They seem pretty time-limited in competitive leagues. The factory farm Portuguese and Dutch teams can sign a load of wank for years and then come back because nobody replaces them. Here you muff a summer up and you're in trouble.

[Shindig]

Wowzers. :D

[Foe]

Is arsene wengers hit rate with youngster even that good?

For every fabregas there's an Armand traore or Craig eastmond.

Seems to give a load of youngsters a chance, but a whole lot of them seem to basically fall straight down the system.

[Samadini]

Diame is ridiculously good at the moment. He's shown this form for months now. It's hard to believe after how poor he was at the start of the season.

Benitez :hail:

[Shindig]

Safe as owt. If we catch Burnley, I'll go bananas. Everton, West Brom, Watford our next three.

[John]

Vidic in the studio? Prick has a cheek to talk about defending when he could never win a header himself.

We are abysmal. If Celtic had really gone after us in that first half they'd have scored nine.

[Spikey M]

Impressive stuff from Newcastle, considering they spent about 50p in the summer.

[Lewis]

According to the interview there Victor Lindelof replaces Eric Bailly because they need someone to bring the ball out a bit as West Brom sit back. Does that mean Jose Mourinho thinks Chris Smalling - whose composure and passing he has openly lolled at in the past - is his best defender? It does doesn't it. I'll miss most of the first half now figuring out what MIND GAME this is.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Sounds like the sort of claptrap managers come out with when it's just general rotation for an irrelevant game.

[Lewis]

He does seem to like Smalling. I bet he keeps him for his goal threat, so hopefully Big Sam remains at Everton so they can bilk them out loads for Phil Jones.

[Giggles]

Exactly. Makes it sound like he's doing something when in reality he could have drawn the team out of a hat against this lot.

[igor_balis]

we're actually playing alright

[Bernanke]

Thiis Donnaruma-save. :drool:

https://streamja.com/21V3

[John Arne]

WBA essentially need to win today to avoid relegation... and Ben Foster is wasting time at 0-0. I mean, think about the situation for 10 fucking seconds. You desperately, desperately need 3pts, and you are wasting time hoping for a 0-0.....

[Lewis]

This is the worst game I've watched all season.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

:face:

[Jimmy Floyd]

BOING BOING

I'll miss that chant, although in fact I won't as I watch loads of Championship anyway.

[John Arne]

Quality knock back from Matic :drool:

[Giggles]

:D fucking hell.

[Lewis]

Everyone has been toilet today, but Antonio Valencia has probably got himself replaced off the back of this.

[Gray Fox]

So Arsenal have yet to win a single point away from home in 2018.

Nailed on to smash Atletico.

[Andy]

5 points away from safety. Doubt we will get another 5 points all seaosn. Shambles.

[Gray Fox]

West Brom next have a game against Liverpool, who will be 3 days before a Champions League semi-final. Dom Solanke and Danny Ings should provide the baggies all the impetus they need for the next leg of their great escape.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Sky Man just called it a 'topsy-turvy Premier League season'. Chaps, the title was easily secure after about 5 games and they'll win it by 15+ points. Meanwhile, there's been little of interest elsewhere in the league.

[igor_balis]

we were good, utd were fucking toilet

[Spikey M]

Sky Man just called it a 'topsy-turvy Premier League season'. Chaps, the title was easily secure after about 5 games and they'll win it by 15+ points. Meanwhile, there's been little of interest elsewhere in the league.

Even the ‘relegation battle’ has been shit.

[Magic]

I am absolutely astonished. That is one team you could put your mortgage on never getting points against the scum.

[Baz]

West Brom next have a game against Liverpool, who will be 3 days before a Champions League semi-final. Dom Solanke and Danny Ings should provide the baggies all the impetus they need for the next leg of their great escape.Klopp wants 2nd though so Firmino and/is Mane will feature if necessary to spoil Darren Moore’s party.

[Giggles]

This shit anti climax winning of the league is fitting for such a shit season.

[Waffdon]

Thiis Donnaruma-save. :drool:

https://streamja.com/21V3

That’s one of the best saves I’ve ever seen.

[Ant]

Fair play to City. Best team by a mile and fully deserved.

[Ian]

That’s one of the best saves I’ve ever seen.

The thing about that save is that rather than it just being a reaction save that pundits wank over even though it's two feet from the guy is he's watched the attacker and is already diving the right way before he's connected. Proper goalkeeping.

[Kikó]

That was laughably shit.

And Porto scored a last minute screamer to win the league in Portugal.

[Adramelch]

Benfica still have to play Sporting away so it's not like the draw would have been a great result for them really. In any case there's still 4 games to go and while my money is on Porto to win the league of course, they lost 2 games against bottom half teams this month.

[Foe]

Psg smashing Monaco 7-1 to win the title shows how odd the French league is. A league where a team regular smashes opposition by 4, 5 or 6 and puts 7 past the previous years champions.

[phonics]

As if this weekend of football couldn't get any worse. I now have to listen to 'Rafa to Arsenal' talk as if it's not complete nonsense.

[Browning]

https://twitter.com/paddypower/status/985791370110689280

No idea how to post that properly, if it even can be done, but the fucking state of that video by Man City. Football is dead.

[Magic]

Psg smashing Monaco 7-1 to win the title shows how odd the French league is. A league where a team regular smashes opposition by 4, 5 or 6 and puts 7 past the previous years champions.

And yet Bayern have a bigger points difference. In fact, nearly all the top leagues have huge gaps to 2nd.

[Magic]

https://twitter.com/paddypower/status/985791370110689280

No idea how to post that properly, if it even can be done, but the fucking state of that video by Man City. Football is dead.

God. You can easily see some PR wankers all sat around circle jerking each other over that.

[Kikó]

Benfica still have to play Sporting away so it's not like the draw would have been a great result for them really. In any case there's still 4 games to go and while my money is on Porto to win the league of course, they lost 2 games against bottom half teams this month.

Don't see it happening now. Benfica have to make sure they don't drop out of the top two and lose the champions league spot.

[CJay]

This has been a terrible game with a ridiculous number of fouls. Trashcan heart man in charge.

Stoke are a very bad team.

27 fouls and counting.

[Giggles]

That was unexpected.

Hart :harold:

[CJay]

Woof. Crouchy. :drool:

[Giggles]

Shithouse beanpole goal fest :drool:

[Magic]

Jesus Christ.

https://www.leedsunited.com/news/team-news/23277/cast-your-vote-for-the-player-of-the-year-awards

Ezgjan Alioski, Pablo Hernandez, Kemar Roofe, Samuel Saiz and Toby Nye have been nominated for Leeds United’s Player of the Year.

Toby Nye is one of these sick kids who's parents associate themselves with a football club so they can crowdfund to go for private healthcare.

:sick:

[Gray Fox]

Mainz v Freiburg tonight. A cross is handballed at the end of the first half but nothing was given. The players were mostly in their changing rooms by the time VAR awarded the penalty and this farce happened.

https://streamable.com/8znol

[Ian]

Crouch. Carroll. Get 'em on the plane.

[Lewis]

I wonder when they made that City video. They must have had it ready to go last week, so why not tenuously blame it for their Champions' League shitshow?

[niko_cee]

Thank God for 'Wor Andy'.

[mo]

Mainz v Freiburg tonight. A cross is handballed at the end of the first half but nothing was given. The players were mostly in their changing rooms by the time VAR awarded the penalty and this farce happened.

https://streamable.com/8znol

Fucking hell. This is exactly why VAR needs to be binned.

[Mazuuurk]

OK i've just noticed Evra is in West Ham :cab: when did that happen?

[phonics]

This story about Guardiola walking around in socks is the ultimate boring 'quirky' story.

[phonics]

"Daniel Sturridge (Liverpool)
His loan spell has gone exactly as many feared it would, with injuries restricting the striker to just 83 minutes after Albion reportedly paid £2million to borrow him for half a season while also paying his £120,000-a-week wages in full."

Mark that one down as 'not the best transfer' on the checklist.

That's nearly 5 million quid for 83 minutes.

[Lewis]

It will be interesting (in the 'lol' and moving on with your life sense) to see where him and Joe Hart go this summer. You could see Hart going down a division to FRONT UP and PROVE HIMSELF, but Daniel Sturridge seems like a wanker and the Championship having four games a week would put him at a clear fitness disadvantage.

[SvN]

They'll probably end up at a newly promoted side.

[SincereTheRebel]

Go overseas. Ligue 1 seems alright.

[SincereTheRebel]

Just saw :drool:


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=alR6wqlLnyc

[Pepe]

:cool:

[Lewis]

I've just looked at the Championship table for the first time to see where they could go, and Sturridge to [The] Villa seems an obvious one if they come up. What about Hart? [The] Villa have him from United on loan, so Steve Bruce will be programmed to make it permanent for more than is reasonable, and Cardiff have got Paddy Kenny locked down for the foreseeable so they're out.

[Giggles]

I forgot Moura existed.

[Baz]

Only turned it on at half time. Seems like a smart choice.

[Mike]

Own goal that Kane one then? Brighton should appeal for it :D

[Giggles]

Fucking hell :face:


986290622490345478

[Disco]

Good job none of them had @xXxpUsSySlAyEr420

[Kikó]

I'm going to have a word with my brother in law on wtf that's about. They're massive on "fan engagement" at the moment so this is all the wanky nonsense I'd expect.

[Baz]

I like it.

[Giggles]

I'm going to have a word with my brother in law on wtf that's about. They're massive on "fan engagement" at the moment so this is all the wanky nonsense I'd expect.


http://www.abc.net.au/news/image/7797710-1x1-940x940.jpg

[Kikó]

Have you got a larger image?

[Giggles]

I like it.

I would never be in.doubt for a second that you would. It's a bit LAD innit.

[Baz]

What happens if their twitter handle is different to their instagram one?

Could you find out for us, Kiko?

[Kikó]

Will do mate.

[Giggles]

Have you got a larger image?

They're all the same size on a phone.

[Giggles]

The refs cunted that.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Have Spurs got a massive bottle of 4th place in them? I reckon they might do.

[-james-]

Wouldn't that mean Chelsea winning at least three more games this season? I don't see it.

[Dquincy]

The refs cunted that.
A phrase not used often enough.

[phonics]

Just saw :drool:


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=alR6wqlLnyc

His own players joining in the :O's


Wouldn't that mean Chelsea winning at least three more games this season? I don't see it.


Chelsea winning their game in hand would leave them 5 points behind with Burnley, Swansea, Newcastle away and Liverpool at home. Whereas Spurs are at home to Watford, Newcastle, Leicester and away to West Brom.

It's doable but it requires 1) Chelsea giving a shit 2) Salah scoring so many goals that Kane gives up on the golden boot.

edit: To work that out I had to check the league. Newcastle in 10th on 41 points. Fucking atrocious.

If Everton and Leicester stop being clown shows it would still be 12 teams that are absolute garbage.

Arsenal are still going to finish top 7 without winning a point away from home.

What happened? The money has made teams worse is my only explaination.

[Ian]

Clubs with more money than they know what to do with (what they can mostly do is overpay) and hurling shit at the wall rather than trying to build a team.

[John]

Aguero has made the PFA team of the year for the first time. How the Dickens can that be the case? Has he not been top scorer in the league two or three times since signing?

[Mazuuurk]

On a side note to what Phonics said I reckon Kane "chasing the golden boot" might actually be detrimental to his output and Spurs as well.

No striker has ever benefitted from really really really wanting to score.

[phonics]

I'm not sure about that, going by the punditry of the 90s 'wanting it more' is just about the only thing that mattered.

[SincereTheRebel]

Aguero has made the PFA team of the year for the first time. How the Dickens can that be the case? Has he not been top scorer in the league two or three times since signing?

Once in 2014-2015. Surprised me too.

[Giggles]

Winter break maybe in 2020.

http://www.skysports.com/football/news/11095/11336411/english-football-winter-break-agreed-in-principle-for-2020

[-james-]

Aguero has made the PFA team of the year for the first time. How the Dickens can that be the case? Has he not been top scorer in the league two or three times since signing?

I wonder if he's in the team because of his omissions in previous years, because it's hard to make a case for him being in the team this time.

[Lewis]

They voted about two months ago, so him going apeshit in January/February will also have been fresh in the mind. It should have been one of the Liverpool forwards or Leroy Sane.

[Baz]

Firmino easy. He’s Salah’s Assistant.

[Lewis]

Yeah but look at him. He's a disgrace.

[niko_cee]

So are United really going to bin Pogba this summer? It would be beyond funny if they did.

[Baz]

Yeah but look at him. He's a disgrace.He’s everything Rojo wants to be.

[randomlegend]

So are United really going to bin Pogba this summer? It would be beyond funny if they did.

I'd rather bin Mourinho than Pogba (and Martial who is also rumoured).

[Lewis]

I would rather watch Lukaku take corners with his right foot than Rashford.

[randomlegend]

This referee is excellent.

[Giggles]

Someone other than Mourinho isn't going to make Pogba into what they need him to be. Stick him wide and buy a proper midfielder.

[Lewis]

He's been good tonight with Martial as an outlet. Him and 'Alexis' just fall over each other.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Martial is the one I'd back if I were United manager, although the idea of me being United manager is fairly comical. Would make a good film project for the 36 days I stayed in charge and I could do an after dinner tour on the back of it.

[Foe]

Penalty or no penalty then?

Similar to the CL one. No angry Buffon though, no penalty.

[randomlegend]

That was a penalty.

[Lewis]

The biggest United news to me this week was that they have an under-23s side (which got relegated), but it turns out it's just the politically correct term for the reserves.

[randomlegend]

Apparently our U23s are the last of the old youth system and are wank. The u18s won the league.

That was a great goal.

[Lewis]

I wonder what sort of money a twenty-two year old United reserve is on assuming that their existence is one where the club doesn't rate them enough to loan them out but needs them around to fulfil its reserve team obligations.

[Lewis]

Yeah lad Daley Blind. :cool:

[Raoul Duke]

Blind's hair is weird

[Magic]

Some incredible Serie A games tonight and BTS decide to go with a deflated Juventus v relegation candidates Crotone.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Under 18 teams winning leagues is bad news as it sets them up to stagnate. Chelsea evidently haven't worked this out yet.

All you need is one kid a year with a great work ethic, particularly at United where Scott McTominay can rock into the team on determination alone and look more or less the part.

[Lewis]

You need enough players to meet your quota obligations. If they're good, or can contribute to your balance of payments, then that is an added bonus. All that shite about City winning forty titles in a row with a team of half-caste Mancunians. Barcelona and La Masia (mate) haven't produced a decent young player in a decade.

[randomlegend]

Angel Gomes is gonna be a superstar.

[Lewis]

That lad with the afro looks handy as well. Plus his hair will give the newspapers loads to write about.

[Jimmy Floyd]

You need enough players to meet your quota obligations. If they're good, or can contribute to your balance of payments, then that is an added bonus. All that shite about City winning forty titles in a row with a team of half-caste Mancunians. Barcelona and La Masia (mate) haven't produced a decent young player in a decade.

Yesterday's Team of the Year.

Atletico Madrid
Real Madrid, dumped and then a trip around Bolton, Sunderland etc
Velez Sarsfield
Germinal Beerschot / Ajax
Valencia
Odense / Ajax
Genk
Independiente
Tottenham
Arab Contractors

You can't tell me anyone has any idea how to create a good youth system. Especially not the fucking Dutch, whose self-indulgence has permanently run football there into the ground. As someone once said, 'It's fucking luck.'

[Lewis]

I think so. The teams in Portugal and the Kingdom of the Netherlands that are usually cited as having great academies provide more opportunities for younger players through necessity (this spate of decent United talent similarly getting a go because 'LvG' had fucked his recruitment up), but I fail to see how all of the wealthier clubs aren't basically rolling with the same ideas and facilities.

[Giggles]

That's frugal.

987357791126990848

[Giggles]

Dylan Watts is a very tidy looking player. Is he rated at all at Leicester? Does anyone here follow Leicester now? Max Power?



.