Football

[John Arne]

Trent is having a nightmare here.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Klopp paying the price here for his thicko comments about old people and Brexit yesterday. Roy Hodgson and the Nation of Croydon won't let that slide.

[Gray Fox]

Fuck me, get the horse placenta on Clyne pronto.

[Waffdon]

Mane hahahahaha

[SvN]

He must be lagging.

[Boydy]

Klopp paying the price here for his thicko comments about old people and Brexit yesterday. Roy Hodgson and the Nation of Croydon won't let that slide.
What did he say?

Also, Hodgson would definitely be remain.

[Jimmy Floyd]

What did he say?

Also, Hodgson would definitely be remain.

He said something along the lines of 'You must make decisions for the whole country, not just for old people in the countryside'.

Hodgson would have voted remain but he wouldn't be adding #FBPE to his twitter profile or having a massive whinge about it.

[John Arne]

Palace time wasting already... and the ref doing fuck all about it. /seething

[John Arne]

Who would have thought that a midfield three of Henderson, Milner and Wijnaldum would be so stodgy. They are providing zero support for the front three.

[Gray Fox]

Milner off for Lallana please.

The 3 of them almost look too worried to pass the ball forwards.

[John Arne]

Benteke :D

[Waffdon]

That’s mental not giving a yellow card for that.

[Gray Fox]

That's mental from both Mane and the ref.

[John Arne]

How has Mane not been booked for that?

[Gray Fox]

Good decision from Klopp to hook him, but jesus he should have been off.

[Jimmy Floyd]

The main entertainment in this game has been the Sky commentator having absolutely no clue which of Palace's black players is which.

[Lewis]

United look like they should score about six today, so pile onto the 1-1.

[Lewis]

The Macho Man just blocked a pass by deliberately leaning his arse into it. Player of the Year.

[randomlegend]

This is nice, we aren't playing like complete turd.

[Lewis]

An away team haven't phoned it in to this extent since the Ferguson days though.

[randomlegend]

Well then clearly this signals the start of another era of Ferguson-like dominance.

[Lewis]

Exactly. Beaten by Messi Lingard before they even set off.

[Shindig]

I'm worried about how wasteful we're being.

[randomlegend]

Exactly. Beaten by Messi Lingard before they even set off.

I can only assume that Eric Bailly isn't playing as Swansea refused to come out the dressing room at all if he was.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Carvalhal (why do people fucking refuse to pronounce his name properly when Carvalho is no problem at all? CARVAL-YAL) is a proper jobbing mid table manager who will chuck games like this and the cup game vs Spurs, but win the games that matter.

I have a few bob on 2-0 United so if Mourinho could please oblige with a turd show in the second half.

[Magic]

Hughes. :harold:

[randomlegend]

De Gea is unbelievable.

[Bob Sacamano]

Bilel Mohsni resurfaces :cool:

[Shindig]

Three home wins on the bounce, lads. Fortress.

[John]

Bilel Mohsni resurfaces :cool:

I fucking love him. The day he knocked an opposition player on his arse then started doing bodybuilding poses and kissing his biceps in front of the sixteen furious away fans is the highlight of our journey back up through the leagues.

[phonics]

Mark Hughes making West Ham look like world beaters. Great manager.

[Jimmy Floyd]

I have a few bob on 2-0 United so if Mourinho could please oblige with a turd show in the second half.

I'll always love you, Jose.

[-james-]

Dortmund have done their best Belo Horizonte 2014 impression here. 5-0 down at half time, the lot of them just wandering about looking lost.

[Trancemeister]

Zlatan scores in his LA Galaxy debut

[Trancemeister]

980184059392425984

Fucking thunderbolt

[Trancemeister]

How the hell do you embed tweets on here?

[Giggles]

How the hell do you embed tweets on here?

Put the number at the end of the URL into TWEET tags.

[Trancemeister]

Zlatan scores again 4-3 on stoppage time.

[Shindig]

Has there been any "You still got it!" chants?

[John]

Got to wonder why Zlatan hasn't been involved in any way at Man Utd if he's fit enough to do that a couple of days after they let him go. He's old and obviously couldn't do the same running as Lukaku, but he could still have played his part.

[Trancemeister]

Galaxy turned 0-3 to 4-3 win.

[John]

Has there been any "You still got it!" chants?

I doubt it. That would imply that he might not have still had it and they don't like to entertain the idea that their league is a retirement home.

[Trancemeister]

980186608950497280


That's it. He must come to world cup .

[Giggles]

He should be swiftly told to fuck off if he does decide he's going.

[Bernanke]

I'd rather end up third in the group without Zlatan than go out to Brazil in the next round with him in the team. Just let it go.

[Bernanke]

764821914451836929

I guess that goes for the MLS now as well.

[Pleb]

980184059392425984

Fucking thunderbolt
Woof.

[Lewis]

That Sadio Mane dive must be the shittest one we've ever had in this country.

[Giggles]

Moo.

[Gray Fox]

It's a shame the ref booked him to be fair. Could have done with the retrospective diving panel having a look.

[Jimmy Floyd]

It's quite cute how excited Swedes get about Ibrahimovic. Was always shit for their national team as well.

[Bob Sacamano]

I fucking love him. The day he knocked an opposition player on his arse then started doing bodybuilding poses and kissing his biceps in front of the sixteen furious away fans is the highlight of our journey back up through the leagues.

I'd love to know what he's been upto in his 2 years out the game.

[John]

I'd love to know what he's been upto in his 2 years out the game.

Whatever it is, I bet it's hilarious. There's a video on YouTube of him getting made up like Michael Jackson in the Thriller video, but then doing nothing related to the video itself and just keeping a ball up for thirty seconds. It's wonderfully shit.

EDIT - So good.


https://youtu.be/frirsZZmIIQ

[John Arne]

Fuck you, Zlatan.

[Andy]

Mark Hughes making West Ham look like world beaters. Great manager.

It's not his fault.

We have the worst keeper in the league, no attacking midfielder and the worst selection of centre backs in the league. Our 20m steiker looks like he's never scored a goal in his life. Charlie Austin our one hope doesn't get the ball and is the most unfit player in our squad.

The failure to replace Fonte and VvD has cost us dearly. Hoedt and Stephens are both great on the ball but terrible at the bread and butter things. We have no link between midfield and attack, just a load of shit wingers.

[SvN]

My brother in law had £50 on Saints to go down at the start of the season at 20-1. Looking like a cracking bet.

[phonics]

It's not his fault.

We have the worst keeper in the league, no attacking midfielder and the worst selection of centre backs in the league. Our 20m steiker looks like he's never scored a goal in his life. Charlie Austin our one hope doesn't get the ball and is the most unfit player in our squad.

The failure to replace Fonte and VvD has cost us dearly. Hoedt and Stephens are both great on the ball but terrible at the bread and butter things. We have no link between midfield and attack, just a load of shit wingers.

The Black Box does seem to be absolutely fucked TBH. Saw that Southamptons wage bill has gone from 12 million to 120 million in 6 years. The box didn't seem to factor in massive inflation.

[-james-]

There's surely a way of getting more out of that Southampton collective. Lemina, Hojbjerg and Romeu would start for most of the league. But I suppose relying on Charlie Austin can't be good, I suppose.

[Shindig]

I think somebody can but Hughes doesn't strike me as the type to rattle cages or put his arm around you. Especially seeing as he ditched Stoke who are a mere one point below them.

[Giggles]

I think somebody can but Hughes doesn't strike me as the type to rattle cages or put his arm around you. Especially seeing as he ditched Stoke who are a mere one point below them.

I thought he was sacked.

[Shindig]

Even worse. then. :D

[SincereTheRebel]

I'm getting tired on how pundits claim wilshere is such a talent. He does not contribute goals, assists or tackles won. He is ordinary at best.

[Lewis]

Are all these empty seats a BOYCOTT or is getting there just a pain in the arse on Easter Sunday?

[Jimmy Floyd]

Good service on the Piccadilly Line, there's no excuse.

[Jimmy Floyd]

lol at the flapping French goalkeeper. Victor Moses most underrated player going at the moment. Utterly superb this season.

[Giggles]

Why did Chelsea start that useless streak of piss? Is Courtois injured?

[SincereTheRebel]

That is atrocious goalkeeping from the Argentinian. Watching it again, it looked like he slipped or just fell over.

[Ian]

"The ball was all over the place!"

Pretty sure it went in nearly a straight line and he fell over.

[Jimmy Floyd]

I don't think he would have saved it anyway. It was like a curveball left in the zone. Late dip and I don't think he could have stretched and tipped it over.

[SincereTheRebel]

lol at the flapping French goalkeeper. Victor Moses most underrated player going at the moment. Utterly superb this season.

He gave tottenham the ball for the goal with some stupid chip

[Jimmy Floyd]

Every player gives the ball away like that 3 times a game, you only get looked at for it if the oppo happen to lash one in 20 seconds later.

[SincereTheRebel]

Every player gives the ball away like that 3 times a game, you only get looked at for it if the oppo happen to lash one in 20 seconds later.

He is due for the operation now.

[Waffdon]

That’s ridiculous from Dele Alli :drool:

[Jimmy Floyd]

Gary Neville is always far too quick to slate defending. Literally nothing we could have done about that.

[Ian]

That's a lovely goal.

[Waffdon]

Every player gives the ball away like that 3 times a game, you only get looked at for it if the oppo happen to lash one in 20 seconds later.

I don’t think he has good games. I’m shocked he managed to not hit a Spurs player for Morata’s goal.

[mugbull]

Is Christensen even that good?

[John]

Caballero is a fucking div. Diabolical from Christensen also.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Marcos the Murderer managing to tackle Christensen there summing up the former's defensive abilities.

[SincereTheRebel]

All of those goals spurs have scored are gifts. Shocking defending for all of them.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Is Christensen even that good?

He's a 21 year old with superb ability who needs backing. Think a defensive Dele Alli. Reads the game brilliantly. Still sometimes lacks confidence in tight spots.

[Jimmy Floyd]

I don’t think he has good games. I’m shocked he managed to not hit a Spurs player for Morata’s goal.

His general wing back play is excellent, first touch especially. Obviously he's not Cafu.

Our weak link is midfield, apart from Kanté we don't have any midfielders at the club. Fabregas needs to move to MLS or Serie A.

[SincereTheRebel]

How has tim bakayoko been?

[Jimmy Floyd]

How has tim bakayoko been?

Should be in Ligue 2 coming off the bench for Niort or similar.

[Waffdon]

How wasn’t that a foul? :D

Lol if he’s ended Belgium’s hopes with that.

[Jimmy Floyd]

I think that's the worst refereeing decision I've seen for a long time.

[Giggles]

You'd probably see ten worse a weekend, but lol all the same.

[Baz]

How has tim bakayoko been?One of the worst players in the league.

[Giggles]

:face:


980420099420164096

[niko_cee]

That Sadio Mane dive must be the shittest one we've ever had in this country.

I don't get this one. It's obviously a ridiculous dive, but I remember being lectured ad nauseam after the Spurs debacle about how "any contact is a foul!" and yet the same argument no longer pertains with the same pundits, apparently. Is it a penalty if he falls over faster (the slo-mo replay does no favours i this regard)?

Went to Brighton on Saturday. Bad times. Completely undeserved, but Murray had a seriously bad day and when you don't really create that much you can't be missing sitters and penalties. Izquierdo is a ridiculously frustrating player. Such is the absolute predictability of his cutting in Leicester were covering it off with a man to just nick the ball in advance of him doing it, and yet he continued doing it, every time he had the ball. Highlight was Ndidi going mental after being sent off. Looked like he was having a fit. I think this makes next weekend against Huddersfield officially MASSIVE. Really need a win from that one. If they stay up Brighton need to seriously overhaul their attacking options. I'm not sure any of them are really up to it, the jury can be out on the new signings, but Murray, Hemed and Baldock isn't a forward line-up that is going to do anything 90% of the time. Knockaert is also in the twilight zone between being too good for the Championship and nowhere near good enough for the Premier League (entirely down to the mental side of the game as well, which I always find hard to understand) and if March had any end product whatsoever he'd be amazing. Just glides past players, and then does nothing with the ball. Maybe he can improve on that though.

[Spikey M]

What’s hard to get? He didn’t fall over with the contact, he stayed on his feet, decided he shouldn’t have, then through himself to the ground. That’s a dive. Going down immediately with contact is ‘making the most of it’.

[niko_cee]

Making the most of it, generating contact, whatever you want to call it, is diving.

[Spikey M]

Generating contact, I agree. Going down after contact (that you could have stayed on your feet after) is different as often you’d be putting yourself at a disadvantage by staying up. That’s what Mane realised too late.

I suppose the difference to me is that in one respect you just aren’t putting in the effort to stay up, in the other you are actually making the effort to go down.

[Shindig]

If Shelvey winds up going to Russia, it's a waste of a seat. Diame is the wind beneath his wings.

[niko_cee]

I just don't find the idea that Mané falling over faster making it a penalty (which it would have to have been as the Palace player clearly sweeps at and makes contact with his leg/foot) particularly satisfying (in the any contact is a foul world). Realistically, most contact isn't sufficient to make a player actually fall over. Maybe it's one of those ones where it isn't either a foul or a 'dive' in the strict sense of the term (ie no contact) and I guess the ref/linesman just assumed there wasn't any.

[Spikey M]

I just don't find the idea that Mané falling over faster making it a penalty (which it would have to have been as the Palace player clearly sweeps at and makes contact with his leg/foot) particularly satisfying (in the any contact is a foul world). Realistically, most contact isn't sufficient to make a player actually fall over. Maybe it's one of those ones where it isn't either a foul or a 'dive' in the strict sense of the term (ie no contact) and I guess the ref/linesman just assumed there wasn't any.

The penalty should probably have been given for the kick of the leg, yeah. But it wasn’t that that made him throw himself to the floor, it was his realisation that he should have done so a second earlier.

[Magic]

Pardew gone. :harold:

[SvN]

That has to be up there with the worst managerial spells of all time.

[Danny]

If Shelvey winds up going to Russia, it's a waste of a seat. Diame is the wind beneath his wings.

Unless he is joining the rest of the knuckledraggers in flying himself out for a scrap it’s not a worry.

[Magic]

That has to be up there with the worst managerial spells of all time.

Hughes taking Southampton down with 0 wins from his reign will better it.

[phonics]

Nah. Pardew had four months and got less points than that poor bloke Wolves put in charge for 5 games when they'd already gone down.

[Giggles]

It's about time they went down for a while anyway.

[Lewis]

They seem like the sort of outfit who will be down for about a decade if they fall out, and then when they are ready to come back up franchising will have been brought in and the Bristol Pirates will be at the front of the queue.

[Jimmy Floyd]

God I'd love to see them attempt franchising. Would kill it stone dead.

[Lewis]

From the current league you could do a straight swap between Huddersfield and Leeds; West Brom could leave for [The] Villa and their new purpose-built sixty thousand seat Cadbury Arena; and then Burnley and Stoke are gone for a West Country outpost and... Cardiff I suppose. The Oxford Dons are next in the queue.

[phonics]

The 10 minute long Arsenal-Stoke highlights on MOTD had 1 Stoke chance and a Stoke corner directly the post only for the analysis of a 3-0 victory to be spent saying it was undeserved and 'they got lucky there'

I live for making Danny Murphy seethe.

edit: lol

https://pbs.twimg.com/media/DZxa03BXUAEHEut.jpg:large

[Disco]

The Bristol Slavers is probably a bit on the nose, I would howvever settle for 'Privateers'.

[Lewis]

Yeah because that covers Somali pirates as well (which is what I was going for). Good thinking.

[Shindig]

That has to be up there with the worst managerial spells of all time.

I still see Niall Quinn's six straight defeats at Sunderland to be the benchmark. Also, West Brom might've fared better if Pardew and Carver switched roles.

[Giggles]

I'd stuck on Preston because of Maguire/Cunningham/Browne, but God it's absolutely diabolical fare.

[Magic]

David Hockaday, a man who once fielded 8 forward players on the pitch.

Fin.

[Jimmy Floyd]

From the current league you could do a straight swap between Huddersfield and Leeds; West Brom could leave for [The] Villa and their new purpose-built sixty thousand seat Cadbury Arena; and then Burnley and Stoke are gone for a West Country outpost and... Cardiff I suppose. The Oxford Dons are next in the queue.

Norwich would get a franchise as the yellow and green is a good brand and the dot location would look good on the TV map graphics.

[Lewis]

Norfolk must the least football-friendly region in England, so a decent compromise would be to boot Watford and give Cambridge a team to service water shortage country.

[Giggles]

Only one man can save Brom now.

http://i.dailymail.co.uk/i/pix/2010/02/26/article-1254092-08730C6F000005DC-221_308x185.jpg

[Jimmy Floyd]

I've got Portsmouth v Wigan on and those fucking bells are still there. How have the rest of the Portsmouth fans not had him committed by now?

[Shindig]

They have no other fans.

[Spikey M]

What happened to the screaming woman at Arsenal games? Is she still there?

[Boydy]

What happened to the screaming woman at Arsenal games? Is she still there?

Nah, Merse stopped going.

[SincereTheRebel]

One of my favourite websites at the moment is top tackles. They post the best tackles from games daily. This one is the pick from the weekends game



https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wYju5roJzfc

[phonics]

I'd heard it described but that's even worse than I'd heard. It looks like he goes out of his way to step on his balls.

[Shindig]

The first replay makes it look like he's taking a proper run up for a punt.

[Lewis]

lol Scott Brown as well.

[SincereTheRebel]

Here is another absolute beauty


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gp7pC5HjO10