The All New Jobs Thread

[Shindig]

I'm only visiting in March because I can't get leave any other time of year.

[niko_cee]

I recall there being a fairly efficient airport bus, although that may have been to get to Newark.

[Boom-Boom-18]

There's lads going around in yellow cars that will give you a lift in exchange for money.

I am sure there is but that also costs £70. Uber is showing at £30-£40 but it isn't something I have used before, will have to check it out.

[Boydy]

Drop it.
I'll ask Lewis then.

[Spikey M]

I'll ask Lewis then.

I think he’s referring to someone Shinners was living with signing up to the old board to out Shinners as a pissy scroat.

[Kikó]

Uber is fine or the yellow cab. Make sure you get the cab though and not hustled by private cabs which I've seen happen. It's a fixed rate on the cab about $75.

[Pepe]

Just hop on the subway.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Real smart guys come in from Newark.

[Pepe]

Real smart guys avoid going to that dump.

[mugbull]

New York is cool but it doesn't hold a candle to Lawndawn

[Josh]

How would you recommend getting from JFK airport to hotel?

Where are you staying? And what time are you arriving?

[Danny]

How would you recommend getting from JFK airport to hotel?

When I went a few years ago I just took the Subway. Right outside the airport right into Manhattan

[Boom-Boom-18]

Where are you staying? And what time are you arriving?

I am staying at the Wyndham New Yorker and arriving around 4PM (NY Time) Wednesday 23rd. The subway would appeal if we weren't carrying suitcases.

[Josh]

I am staying at the Wyndham New Yorker and arriving around 4PM (NY Time) Wednesday 23rd. The subway would appeal if we weren't carrying suitcases.

You should get a pretty cheap Uber (comparatively) around that time. Likely cheaper than the yellow taxis. It's really straightforward getting an Uber as when you attempt to book it it will tell you where to stand. This changes depending on terminal but often it's the arrivals area.

For less hassle the yellow cabs will sort you out and only around 10 bucks more and will be more familiar. Do not accept any taxis apart from the line for the yellow cabs or your booked Uber!

If you have large suitcases it really is easier to grab a taxi. It will be dark by the time you go through immigration so the subway can be daunting (including at least 1 line change).

Hotel is meant to be really nice - just 10 minutes walk from where I work.

[Boom-Boom-18]

You should get a pretty cheap Uber (comparatively) around that time. Likely cheaper than the yellow taxis. It's really straightforward getting an Uber as when you attempt to book it it will tell you where to stand. This changes depending on terminal but often it's the arrivals area.

For less hassle the yellow cabs will sort you out and only around 10 bucks more and will be more familiar. Do not accept any taxis apart from the line for the yellow cabs or your booked Uber!

If you have large suitcases it really is easier to grab a taxi. It will be dark by the time you go through immigration so the subway can be daunting (including at least 1 line change).

Hotel is meant to be really nice - just 10 minutes walk from where I work.

Thanks Josh, appreciated. We will opt for a taxi.

[Boydy]

Really don't like my project manager. She seemed to take a disliking to me over a question I asked at the very start of my time here and although there's been periods of her seeming okay, she'll also be a prick and I think it all goes back to that. Or maybe she's just a prick to everyone about everything. I dunno.

We have a junior PM who deals with most of the stuff on my team now though and she can ask you to do things without being a knob.

[mo]

Really struggling with motivation to get work done outside of lessons at the moment. Know I'll be off for paternity next week so in my head I'm going "fuck it" but still have deadlines for this week. Don't think going to Oxford Uni helped today, and have training 4-6 tomorrow. Really going to have to pull my finger out, especially as I know I'll be observed on Friday as well.

[Spikey M]

Really don't like my project manager. She seemed to take a disliking to me over a question I asked at the very start of my time here and although there's been periods of her seeming okay, she'll also be a prick and I think it all goes back to that. Or maybe she's just a prick to everyone about everything. I dunno.

We have a junior PM who deals with most of the stuff on my team now though and she can ask you to do things without being a knob.

My new 'Senior' is a recently promoted 70 something that knows the job inside out but is completely, and obviously, IT illiterate. She has a go at me for using shortcuts (ctrl+c etc) and can't cope with me using 4 windows across my 2 screens.

It's fucking painful.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Right click copy right click paste must genuinely cost the economy a few billion pounds a year.

[Shindig]

"Oh, I'm no good with spreadsheets, me."

Had to teach someone how to add and rename a sheet the other week.

[Baz]

My bosses boss now sits next to me. Says to me last Friday “err are you any good with excel?”

That’s my job, mate. My job that you interviewed me for. I just nodded in confusion.

He then gave me a long winded description of freeze panes, so I did it in a few seconds and then went and made a cup of tea while seething he’s on triple my wage.

[Offshore Toon]

I had a colleague ask me to make her a 2019 version of a spreadsheet, then once I'd made it from the 2018 spreadsheet and started deleting stuff she kept screaming "NO! WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!

[Boydy]

Really don't like my project manager. She seemed to take a disliking to me over a question I asked at the very start of my time here and although there's been periods of her seeming okay, she'll also be a prick and I think it all goes back to that. Or maybe she's just a prick to everyone about everything. I dunno.

We have a junior PM who deals with most of the stuff on my team now though and she can ask you to do things without being a knob.

She was being a prick today again to pretty much everyone.

Was talking to one of the other guys on my team about her and he said he'd heard about that question I asked at the start. He also told me a story about how he'd almost quit because of her about a year ago and how she then didn't speak to him for like three months. Apparently she's clashed with pretty much everyone at some point.

[Foe]

Is it Christmas yet?

Turned down a day trip to London for work tomorrow and opted to dial in from my desk. Sounds like a snooze fest so I'm hoping I can slip away unnoticed.

Curry Wednesday too. :(

[Spikey M]

What was the question Boyd?

[Boydy]

I asked why we had to pay for our own background checks then have it expensed rather than them just paying for it up front.

[Spikey M]

Go away and make something better up.

[Boydy]

You what?

[Baz]

What he really said was “hurdy durdy CRB durdy me own pockits, so it is.”

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

What he really said was “hurdy durdy CRB durdy me own pockits, so it is.”

DBS now.

Made a right fool out of yourself there, MATE.

[bruhnaldo]

I think they make you pay for it because they figure if your background is fucked up you're not going to pay to waste their time and your money.

If they pay for your background check and you're a complete psycho then it's not their dime.

Probably saves the company a good bit if you really think about it.

[bruhnaldo]

Or, ironically, you pay for it and you're a psycho and then they just don't hire you and they still don't waste their money.

[Spikey M]

All of the above. I had a job do it to me years back, but it was only a shit agency job. What sort of firm are you working for Boyd?

[Giggles]

Work just bought me a nice steak and 8 pints.

[bruhnaldo]

I was about to complain but I'm literally covering at another facility and they've given me $30/day for food so I could've easily sorted a nice steak if I wanted to go sit at Applebee's by myself.

[Pepe]

Work just bought me a nice steak and 8 pints.

Took any pictures?


I was about to complain but I'm literally covering at another facility and they've given me $30/day for food so I could've easily sorted a nice steak if I wanted to go sit at Applebee's by myself.

:harold:

[Giggles]

Took any pictures?



:harold:

I'be only ever done it once outside my own home and felt like a cunt.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

I was under the impression that Applebee's was the pits.

[Panda Bear]

I was under the impression that Applebee's was the pits.
So are the standards of the average American, which is why they're the perfect match.

[Danny]

Applebee’s :sick:

Come on Bruh!

[bruhnaldo]

I'm covering in a very rural town where Applebee's is literally the most exciting thing going on.

Probably should've mentioned that because without context, well, you get what you have above.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Surely they must have a diner that is better than Applebee's though.

[Giggles]

Is there not a place like the ones you see on Diners, Drive-ins, and Dives in every town?

[bruhnaldo]

There may be, I'm not very adventurous with food to be honest.

I always fear I'll get food poisoning so I just stick with Taco Bell.

They tell me there's a lot of great food trucks but there's something about getting food from a large van that puts me off.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

The Mexican food truck I went to in Los Angeles was immense.

LA has nothing going for it other than good food trucks.

[Giggles]

There may be, I'm not very adventurous with food to be honest.

I always fear I'll get food poisoning so I just stick with Taco Bell.

They tell me there's a lot of great food trucks but there's something about getting food from a large van that puts me off.

Best BBQ I ever had was from a caravan type thing in Austin.

[bruhnaldo]

Don't get me wrong, I'm positive that food trucks probably have the best food ever (especially for the price), but I'm a gigantic pussy.

[Ian]

Have you suffered from food poisoning before?

I've had it twice, once from somewhere you'd go "Well yeah that's gonna happen" and once where you wouldn't at all so I've long since decided that unless somewhere is obviously filthy it's not worth worrying about.

[bruhnaldo]

Nah, I haven't personally if I'm honest.

I've probably missed out on a lot of fantastic cuisine but idk it seems like a decent trade.

[niko_cee]

Food poisoning is, generally, a myth.

It's something else.

[SvN]

People assume they've got food poisoning if they have a runny shit within 24 hours of eating. The reality is much more severe.

[Kikó]

Sounds like I need to click into your post for further details?

[Pepe]

We are currently in the interview process for three positions. Looking at all these people's resumes, I have no idea how they ever hired me.

[phonics]

Ive been sat in interviews for the last week which seem completely pointless as not once have I been asked for feedback.

[Foe]

Had a 2 hour workshop yesterday at work about basically "how we should be doing our job".

Everyone in the company is going through it.

What a colossal waste of time and effort.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Things like that are total shite and forcing people to do them is usually an example of management getting bored and needing to justify their existence.

[phonics]

Ive been sat in interviews for the last week which seem completely pointless as not once have I been asked for feedback.

All of them have been rejected. That was well worth the 5 hours I spent this week.

[phonics]

All of them have been rejected. That was well worth the 5 hours I spent this week.

We need a inhouse web designer/producer/master. Salary is 80k pa. Send me a PM if you are/know someone who's interested.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

I'll do it for 40.

[phonics]

I’ve got about six jokes about you struggling to get your foot in the door and I made none of them.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

There are no females, right?

[phonics]

85%. You wouldn't be able to get a thing done. The rest are homosexual males and me.

[SvN]

Inhouse jobs are awful. They pay so well for a reason.

[phonics]

Inhouse jobs are awful. They pay so well for a reason.

That's just a normal salary over here. A half decent one bed flat will set you back 1.5k if you find a good deal.

[SvN]

Oh right. They do typically pay about 20% higher in my experience, and with good reason.

[Foe]

My year end review was pretty positive and my rating reflects that "exceeds". Which means, despite being an idiot, the company does actual rate me reasonably highly even after the brutal cut backs we've seen over the years.

I've spotted a job online that would be perfect for my pal and subsequently found out that it's basically for the team I work in. Is that a bad idea? Anyone worked with an outside of work friend?

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

85%. You wouldn't be able to get a thing done. The rest are homosexual males and me.

I would like to officially withdraw my application.

Thank you.

[Shindig]

Off the phones for a month. Good riddance to a long week, although today was pretty sound. Got a couple of nods from claimants for me being so understanding and such. I imagine this is how Mike feels everyday.

[Jimmy Floyd]

My worst nightmare about to become a reality. A French customer is coming to visit who speaks no English and the boss has asked me to come to lunch with them and simultaneously translate.

I'll be like that goon who stands next to Bielsa.

[Baz]

Getting paid extra for it?

[Jimmy Floyd]

Lol no. Free lunch, but I guess there's no such thing as one of those.

[phonics]

My worst nightmare about to become a reality. A French customer is coming to visit who speaks no English and the boss has asked me to come to lunch with them and simultaneously translate.

I'll be like that goon who stands next to Bielsa.

I've got a friend who makes absolute bank doing that stuff for WEF.

[Spikey M]

"Makes absolute bank"

You're about 40, Fam blud fam innit.

[phonics]

Only people who actually are about 40 get mad at the slang people use.

[Baz]

Preach.

[SvN]

"You're about 40"

"No u r"

[phonics]

CY@

[Jimmy Floyd]

I've got a friend who makes absolute bank doing that stuff for WEF.

Proper ones get paid shitloads. Me winging it, lol. Especially s this is the sort of industry where they'll happily sink a bottle of wine over lunch and then head straight back to the coalface.

[Spikey M]

You're blacking up?

[phonics]

Proper ones get paid shitloads. Me winging it, lol. Especially s this is the sort of industry where they'll happily sink a bottle of wine over lunch and then head straight back to the coalface.

That sort of tedium pays so much. I could probably make the equivalent to my yearly salary transcribing and subtitling audio/video interviews in about 3 months but I'm not sure I could take it.

[Jimmy Floyd]

You're blacking up?

They'd probably ask me to do that if it meant increasing revenue by 30 euros.

[Disco]

We're being asked to sign up to illegal (and very pointless) trading terms by one of our idiot customers. Fun times, I might refuse to do it and see what they say.

[Spikey M]

Reply 'I'll sign, but I want paying in Cocain if that's how we're doing things.'

[Disco]

I'm going to ask for 'Elton rates' for re-writing their silly contracts (that I still don't intend to sign).

[mo]

There is a Head of History job going at a school local to me that I'm considering applying for. I thought the school had a pretty good rep but the last Ofsted was fairly damning and a friend of mine knows the former Head of History and described as a 'horrible' school + the history classrooms are/were 'portacabins', which has dented my enthusiasm a bit. Might still go have a look around and see if for myself.

[Giggles]

Now you're talking.

https://www.irishtimes.com/business/technology/intel-prepared-to-invest-8bn-in-new-leixlip-development-1.3787348

[Pepe]

If it's anything like Intel here, be prepared to receive 1,600 new Chinese/Indian engineers.

[Giggles]

If it's anything like Intel here, be prepared to receive 1,600 new Chinese/Indian engineers.

There's always a few Indians but the workforce here is mainly Irish and ex NEC Scots.

[Panda Bear]

The worst thing about dealing with immigrants--pretend Lewis or someone else wrote this, not me--is that it takes so much more effort to interact with them because you have to navigate cultural and language barriers, and people are fundamentally lazy.

[Shindig]

People in general or those people? I find it's not a question of laziness but more (at least when dealing with them over the phone), I don't want them to agree to something they don't comprehend.

[Lewis]

I would have said the worst thing was the smell, so please remove my name from those sentiments.

[Spikey M]

I would have said the worst thing was the smell, so please remove my name from those sentiments.
I was half way through writing this response. Fuck sake.

[Offshore Toon]

The rape isn't ideal either.

[Shindig]

You can't tell if they're objecting, what with the language barrier.

[Baz]

What the fuck’s going on in this thread. :nono:

[Pepe]

How's the paedo business going?

[Spikey M]

How's the paedo business going?


I did have a one year old hanging off my leg while dishing out

Quite well.

[SvN]

Had someone resign today, only 5 months after taking the job. Annoying but understandable. They're a proper introvert and moved here for the job, so they just spend their evenings sat bored, alone. They're moving back home.

[Lewis]

You should have given them one of those TTH business cards.

[Baz]

There's a waft of dirty bumhole everytime the gay man who works in my office is close by. He normally smells nice. Clearly got bummed on Valentines Day right? :sick:

[Spikey M]

Don't get banned before the results are announced you muppet.

[Spikey M]

I have to carry out my first eviction tomorrow. It's a gang affiliated property with police presence required.

When the police don't bother to show up and I get murdered, please ensure all my positive rep is left to the winner of Greg vs Josh.

[Lewis]

What's your job mate, sticking your head under the door to make sure they're out? :youpi:

[Spikey M]

Nah, it's SHAGING YOUR MUM.

[Lewis]

That's some commute.

[Jimmy Floyd]

I was off yesterday with flu and really shouldn't be in today, but being off sick bores me to tears so I filled myself full of drugs and came in. The first couple of hours were shit but now I've reached such a magnificent narcotics-fuelled high that wild horses couldn't drag me out of here. Is a painkiller addiction that bad? I'm considering it.

[Ian]

I have to carry out my first eviction tomorrow. It's a gang affiliated property with police presence required.

When the police don't bother to show up and I get murdered, please ensure all my positive rep is left to the winner of Greg vs Josh.

More importantly, which one do you want to posthumously vote for?

[Spikey M]

More importantly, which one do you want to posthumously vote for?

I survived, so the world will have to wait and see.

[Ian]

You're a right tease.

[Boydy]

I am going to fucking crack up. I was off Friday and Monday. On Thursday just before I was about to leave, I discovered the village idiot on my team had overwritten some new code I'd committed with his own crap. Annoying but not too big a deal as it was a fairly minor fix. I stayed till half six to fix it as it was being released to the customer for testing on the friday.

Come in this morning and it turns out he fucking overwrote it again on Friday when I was off and the customer is telling us it isn't working. Yeah, no shit.

Then it's also been discovered today that someone else has somehow managed to remove another bit of code of mine from the previous release that has now gone into production with our latest release.

Fuck me.

[phonics]

#DevLife

[Raoul Duke]

I am going to fucking crack up. I was off Friday and Monday. On Thursday just before I was about to leave, I discovered the village idiot on my team had overwritten some new code I'd committed with his own crap. Annoying but not too big a deal as it was a fairly minor fix. I stayed till half six to fix it as it was being released to the customer for testing on the friday.

Come in this morning and it turns out he fucking overwrote it again on Friday when I was off and the customer is telling us it isn't working. Yeah, no shit.

Then it's also been discovered today that someone else has somehow managed to remove another bit of code of mine from the previous release that has now gone into production with our latest release.

Fuck me.

Do you not have some kind of pull request process?

[Boydy]

Nah, we just create a branch for our own features then merge it into the integration/release branch once it's ready to go. You should see any conflicts though so people aren't being careful enough about them.

We're supposed to have a peer review system but in reality the peer reviews hardly ever get carried out. Guess who my peer reviewer is. :moop:

[Raoul Duke]

They that sow the wind, shall reap the whirlwind

[phonics]

Write a load of comments in his code saying that he thinks the boss is a racist or something.

[Boydy]

Write a load of comments in his code saying that he thinks the boss is a racist or something.

You can see who added what.

[Spikey M]

They can think that far ahead, but not far enough ahead to stop morons deleting other people's work?

[Shindig]

"Boydys code, do not touch." Should do it. Also, there's probably two other coders moaning about how some eejit overwrote their code.

[Giggles]

Newish lad in work thinks you've to be friends outside work :moop:

That'll need a high level of ignorance to nip in the bud.

[Ian]

How is he trying to instigate said friendship?

[Giggles]

How is he trying to instigate said friendship?

I think it's more like he expects 'mates' and to give a hand with stuff at weekends and all. Like yesterday he asks what I was doing at the weekend and I just said I was going to the sisters for a few pints. "Oh, it's just that we're moving the son into a new house and could have done with a hand". I just laughed and then he says "bit of help would be great". In the end I just told him that it wasn't going to happen even if I was doing no more than sitting watching TV all weekend.
He keeps telling me about his kids, etc too and not picking up that I sound completely uninterested and change the subject to something to do with work. I'm going to have to just tell him I couldn't care less if they all spontaneously caught fire.

[Jimmy Floyd]

That's delinquent behaviour (from him). You can't stroll around asking random people to help you move your son into a new house. The fact that he has a son suggests he is 40+ and should know better too.

[Baz]

He’s not really done anything wrong there, other than unknowingly approached an unusually unfriendly colleague. :happycry:

[Giggles]

Now when I say newish, he's been there 6 months but in that time there has been zero out of hours interaction to warrant it.

[Giggles]

He’s not really done anything wrong there, other than unknowingly approached an unusually unfriendly colleague. :happycry:

Being the main point here.

[Kikó]

No chance I'm helping someone I've just started working with to move house.

I barely go out for drinks with the people I work with and I've known then for 4 years.

[Foe]

A storm in a teacup brewing at work.

The company expects me to go on some rota of on call, which is effectively about 4 weeks out of the year I carry a pager, can't be more than an hour away from the office and can't be drunk.

It's not in my contract T and Cs nor my roles and responsibilities. The reward for giving up almost a month of the year of freedom? The equivalent of a 1.7% pay rise.

Thanks, but no thanks.

Trying to work out whether they are going to force me to do it against my will. If so I'm probably going to file a grievance with HR.

Anyone ever had to deal with something like that? Any tips? I'm part of a "communication forum" which is effectively a stop gap between HR and the company employees so I brought it to the table there, apparently I'm not the only one just ignoring the emails at the moment.

[Giggles]

In my experience, rightly or wrongly, companies can do whatever they like a lot of the time. You'll end up having to do it.

One certainty also is that HR is the company always. They won't help.

[Raoul Duke]

A storm in a teacup brewing at work.

The company expects me to go on some rota of on call, which is effectively about 4 weeks out of the year I carry a pager, can't be more than an hour away from the office and can't be drunk.

It's not in my contract T and Cs nor my roles and responsibilities. The reward for giving up almost a month of the year of freedom? The equivalent of a 1.7% pay rise.

Thanks, but no thanks.

Trying to work out whether they are going to force me to do it against my will. If so I'm probably going to file a grievance with HR.

Anyone ever had to deal with something like that? Any tips? I'm part of a "communication forum" which is effectively a stop gap between HR and the company employees so I brought it to the table there, apparently I'm not the only one just ignoring the emails at the moment.

Yeah, 100% fuck that. If it's not in your contract then it's something they need to incentivise you to do in order to change your terms of employment. Maybe you could just stop working Mondays or have a three hour lunch break and see if they're cool with other arbitrary changes?

[igor_balis]

I'm a selfish cunt but I'd laugh in the face of one of my actual real life friends if they suggested it would be nice if I helped them move into their new house. I have no problem with socialising with colleagues, but that's limited to getting drunk and occasionally shagging female colleagues. Not a trip to B&Q.

[SvN]

A storm in a teacup brewing at work.

The company expects me to go on some rota of on call, which is effectively about 4 weeks out of the year I carry a pager, can't be more than an hour away from the office and can't be drunk.

It's not in my contract T and Cs nor my roles and responsibilities. The reward for giving up almost a month of the year of freedom? The equivalent of a 1.7% pay rise.

Thanks, but no thanks.

Trying to work out whether they are going to force me to do it against my will. If so I'm probably going to file a grievance with HR.

Anyone ever had to deal with something like that? Any tips? I'm part of a "communication forum" which is effectively a stop gap between HR and the company employees so I brought it to the table there, apparently I'm not the only one just ignoring the emails at the moment.

That's ridiculous. I pay £70 per day for people to be on call at weekends and bank holidays.

[Foe]

The worst part about it for me is if you get screwed and end up on the rota over Xmas time.

You get your days back so it doesn't actually cost you annual leave on the hope you don't get called. I'd be completely fucked though being stuck in Aberdeen and unable to go and see family as they live more than an hour from the office.

This is in addition to the expectation that if there's an issue in my actual job/role they can call me and ask me for help. Last Boxing Day is spent about 3 hours pulling together a risk assessment for a platform issue.

Seems to be empoyers with a view that society is willing to basically just devote their life to the company. No thanks. I work hard but there's a line which is the work/ life balance and I'll be the person to decide whether I cross it, not you.

[SvN]

One of either two things should be happening:


They either pay you a very large amount when you're called out, but a smaller/no amount for being available
You're paid a decent amount whenever you're on call, regardless of whether you're called out



It looks like they're trying to get away with neither.

[Offshore Toon]

I'm a selfish cunt but I'd laugh in the face of one of my actual real life friends if they suggested it would be nice if I helped them move into their new house. I have no problem with socialising with colleagues, but that's limited to getting drunk and occasionally shagging female colleagues. Not a trip to B&Q.
I've previously thought that I might actually be able to get along with you irl but now I think you're probably as much of a twat as your posts make out. Why would you not help out a friend?

Anyway, I helped a girl at work move something once and I massively regretted it. At the time I got on with her quite well and, although it was effort, I guess I just thought I should do the nice thing. She offered to buy me a pizza to say thanks, but I declined. These days I find said girl incredibly irritating, as she's the type of twat that assumes having neighbouring desks means you want to hear about how her dad has sweetcorn as part of a roast for the tenth time, so it had a huge impact in helping me realise that giving up your own time for nothing is thick as pigshit.

[igor_balis]

I've previously thought that I might actually be able to get along with you irl but now I think you're probably as much of a twat as your posts make out. Why would you not help out a friend?

Ohhh no the thing is I'd happily offer to help my pals move a piano or whatever, I'm more objecting to the kinda passive aggressively suggesting it. If my mate said "i'm moving out, it's going to be a right pain in the arse" i'd offer to help, and if my mate said "igor you twat, help me move out" i'd also help. To be honest if they said "it would be nice if you helped me" I probably WOULD help them. I'd just think it was a weird mealy mouthed way of asking.

[Spikey M]

The first vote saving CLIMB DOWN of the competition. :drool:

[Giggles]

Yep. Should have just told him to do what he likes and fuck off :drool:

[Spikey M]

The pressure has completely got to him. Finish him Shinners. Your time is now.

[Lewis]

I helped my friend move and their idiotic approach to things like moving all the small shit in before furniture just ended up annoying me.

[Shindig]

He sees the lasses at work as only shags? I'll sound the phonics signal.

[Baz]

I helped my friend move and their idiotic approach to things like moving all the small shit in before furniture just ended up annoying me.That is literally the wrong way round.

[Giggles]

He sees the lasses at work as only shags? I'll sound the phonics signal.

He's coming up with the justice hashtags as we speak.

[Disco]

I'm with Igor on this, the point wasn't about not helping a friend it was people you work with assuming that sort of relationship.

[Bam]

I barely go out for drinks with the people I work with and I've known then for 4 years.


Not even if it was informal and your wife was walking past by chance?

[igor_balis]

wankers

[Offshore Toon]

Ohhh no the thing is I'd happily offer to help my pals move a piano or whatever, I'm more objecting to the kinda passive aggressively suggesting it. If my mate said "i'm moving out, it's going to be a right pain in the arse" i'd offer to help, and if my mate said "igor you twat, help me move out" i'd also help. To be honest if they said "it would be nice if you helped me" I probably WOULD help them. I'd just think it was a weird mealy mouthed way of asking.
Okay, we're cool.

[igor_balis]

Okay, we're cool.

You helping me build a shed cool, or just not calling me a twat cool?

[Spikey M]

Are they mutually exclusive? Because I'd help you build the shed and call you a twat.

[Giggles]

I'll have to listen to every detail of the house move tomorrow :boydy:

I'll have to nip him with something really rude early on.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Are they mutually exclusive? Because I'd help you build the shed and call you a twat.

You're not building a shed properly if you're not calling someone nearby a twat tbh.

[Spikey M]

I don't think I've built anything without calling someone/something a cunt.

Usually a screw that won't turn, the cross threaded cunt.

[Offshore Toon]

You helping me build a shed cool, or just not calling me a twat cool?
I'd be up for building a shed whilst getting hammered.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Just been told I've been 'selected' to go to the Munich trade show for us. Lovely stuff, I'll have to pretend to know what I'm talking about for 5 straight days.

[Kikó]

Not even if it was informal and your wife was walking past by chance?

Fuck off back to your caravan.

[phonics]

Just got an e-mail form the Director of the IMF who has several million dollars for my organization. Seems weird that he has a gmail account but I've sent him my Western Union details none the less.

[Pepe]

Just been told I've been 'selected' to go to the Munich trade show for us. Lovely stuff, I'll have to pretend to know what I'm talking about for 5 straight days.

Five days on a trade show sounds like vein cutting stuff.

[Pepe]

Just got an e-mail form the Director of the IMF who has several million dollars for my organization. Seems weird that he has a gmail account but I've sent him my Western Union details none the less.

Slip him a TTH card.

[Ian]

Live stream it, Jim.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Five days on a trade show sounds like vein cutting stuff.

Wednesday to Sunday as well. I don't have any real knowledge of the product, nor the gift of the gab, but other than that I'm ideally suited to it. I think they just want me there for my 7/10 French, 6/10 Spanish and 4/10 German.

[Bam]

Fuck off back to your caravan.


You calling me a traveller? How very odd. :cab:

[Spikey M]

Scaffolder. West Ham fan.

You tick more boxes than I do Bam.

[Bam]

Scaffolder. West Ham fan.

You tick more boxes than I do Bam.

Yeah, but you're from Southend! :dc:

[Disco]

Just been told I've been 'selected' to go to the Munich trade show for us. Lovely stuff, I'll have to pretend to know what I'm talking about for 5 straight days.

Silver lining, it isn't in Stuttgart.

[Shindig]

Well, that was a day. The civil service breeds a special kind of jobsworth who cannot and will not bend procedure. Not only that but they'll explain how it's wrong step-by-step. Every time. For longer than they need to.

[Kikó]

You calling me a traveller? How very odd. :cab:

Spikes knows.

[randomlegend]

My next job is on the 'frailty' ward, affectionately known as 'Windsor Hotel'. It's where all the old buggers sit before the find them somewhere to go to. Also the registrars and stuff I have are great.

Going to be such a doss :drool:

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

You think you're frail? Try having a migraine you twat.

[Spikey M]

That's a bloody good joke there mate.

[Shindig]

Good end to the week, that. One claimant informed us they were running back to the assessment centre with a weapon because their claim was stopped.

[Spikey M]

In fairness, your lot have fucked up 70% of our tenants over this last month, so you deserve something stabby in the ribs.

'We're going to pay the monthly amount, but we're going to do so 4 weekly. THEN - and here's the genius bit - we'll skip 4 weeks once a year!'

Just pay monthly you fucking pricks.

[Shindig]

Our lot? DWP don't pay my wages.

[Spikey M]

Your lot.

[Spikey M]

Actually, thinking about it, it (UC) is paid monthly as it arrives the same date every month for the tenants. So why is there a 'skipped cycle' once a year for landlords? Mental.

[Shindig]

That is odd. Like they're trying to dodge a month at the end of the tax year.

[Lewis]

When I was on the rock and roll I made a point of asking all the staff I encountered what they thought of Universal Credit, and every single one of them said it was an infinitely superior system.

[Spikey M]

It is as long as you're not on it.

[Lewis]

I was, although I don't have kids and rent and made-up disabilities to complicate matters.

[Shindig]

They say the same about PIP. That points-based, evidence system where you couple have your fibromyalgia assessed by a mental health nurse. When DWP say something is better, it usually means it's cheaper and they don't have to do as much because they've farmed off chunks of the process to a third party.

[Spikey M]

Oh UC is genius from the DWP's perspective. It's mostly automated so they only really have to pay people to check ID's and stuff, and even that is done through an App for the most part.

The problems kick in when you work and you're on it. Especially if your wages fluctuate, or if you get anything but monthly pay and you get an extra pay date fall in your assessment window. Which happened to FUCKING EVERYONE over Christmas.

[phonics]

Today it was announced that we've had another person cured of HIV. The second in 10 years. So my day has been derailed arranging interviews for journos, which after writing that sentence, seems a rather negative angle to take on something quite important.

[Baz]

Everyone with HIV have given themselves HIV, right?

[phonics]

What?

[Disco]

Only two? Quite a few left to go then.

[phonics]

Only two? Quite a few left to go then.

It's not particularly useful as you have to have Leukemia as well but I guess two for the price of one in that sense?

[Disco]

I can cure you but first I have to give you Leukemia!

https://i.imgur.com/rwYAq1V.png

[Spikey M]

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/health-47421855

"The researchers say it is too early to say the patient is "cured" of HIV."


http://static.vibe.com/files/2015/09/15141246/Why-You-Always-Lying-Full-Video.png

[SvN]

Been a brilliant few weeks at work. We're absolutely overwhelmed with work at the moment and it's meant I've had to get involved for the first time in ages, and I've loved it. In some ways I wish I could go back to just being a designer day in, day out because the work is so enjoyable. Also had a meeting with our biggest client today to present some new work which went over really well, and has probably secured £100k of revenue over the next 12 months.

Plus I offered a job to a previous work experience student this morning, who accepted it on the spot.

I'm just waiting for something to go wrong. Perhaps the office will burn down over the weekend.

[Jimmy Floyd]

It does sound like the first five minutes of a sitcom episode, so you'll end up with the company shutting down within a week.

I did an £18k deal today with some dodgy French exporter that they would never have got near without my language. I'm starting to think that they should probably be paying me quite a bit more.

[SvN]

One thing I've realised over the past two years is that hiring is really difficult. I try to be diligent; I personally interview people and even go to the extent of doing paid trial days/weeks to see how they get on. But the last three people I've hired are all gone. I used to give the former boss so much shit about him hiring people that were crap, and my record has been even worse.

Do we have any recruitment wankers here that can tell me where I'm going wrong?

[igor_balis]

I've now somehow managed to make exactly the same fuck up at work for the 4th time. It's ridiculous I've not at least had an informal warning for being a total div.

Correctly inputted the sort code and account number for a bill payment but then typed the wrong reference. This time was like the first two times - non-existent reference so just took 20 mins on the phone to the company's customer service team to retrieve the money from some holding account.

The 3rd time was ridiculous though. Not only had I managed to mistype the credit card reference number (e.g. the card number), I'd somehow managed to defeat the Luhn formula and type in some other person's credit card number. Fixing my fuck-up wasted about 10 hours collectively of the time of myself, management and the two customers.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

It's nice to see that are banks have such competent workers.

[bruhnaldo]

I'm a selfish cunt but I'd laugh in the face of one of my actual real life friends if they suggested it would be nice if I helped them move into their new house.

Shit I hope your new tinder chick makes you into a stuffed animal next you sick fuck

No i didn't read any of the rest of this thread for context but still wtf is wrong with you

[igor_balis]

Shit I hope your new tinder chick makes you into a stuffed animal next you sick fuck

No i didn't read any of the rest of this thread for context but still wtf is wrong with you

ha, i wouldn't mind my mate just asking me to help them do something. i was just objecting to someone doing it like Giggles's mate, in a passive-aggressive indirect way. "please help me do this thing" is a lot better than "it would be really nice if you helped me do this thing". but now I'm typing it out i'm starting to doubt whether it really makes much of a difference.

[Shindig]

Do you not copy and paste references in for payments?

[Spikey M]

It does sound like the first five minutes of a sitcom episode, so you'll end up with the company shutting down within a week.

I did an £18k deal today with some dodgy French exporter that they would never have got near without my language. I'm starting to think that they should probably be paying me quite a bit more.

There won't be a better time to ask the question.

[Raoul Duke]

One thing I've realised over the past two years is that hiring is really difficult. I try to be diligent; I personally interview people and even go to the extent of doing paid trial days/weeks to see how they get on. But the last three people I've hired are all gone. I used to give the former boss so much shit about him hiring people that were crap, and my record has been even worse.

Do we have any recruitment wankers here that can tell me where I'm going wrong?

Hiring is pretty much the hardest business problem.

Why are they not working out? What’s your current hiring process?

[Jimmy Floyd]

However you do it, there is going to be a very large amount of luck involved.

[SvN]

Hiring is pretty much the hardest business problem.

Why are they not working out? What’s your current hiring process?

The word "process" is generous - there isn't one really. For the last three frond end developers, I've just posted on the usual jobsites/twitter/our own website and then interview. There's no parameters that determine a successful interview - it's largely down to "vibe", with their skillset being secondary (unless they're completely under qualified). If the interview goes well, we ideally get them in for a day to see how they fit in (we pay them for this), set them a few basic tasks and then if all is good, hire them.

[Boydy]

One thing I've realised over the past two years is that hiring is really difficult. I try to be diligent; I personally interview people and even go to the extent of doing paid trial days/weeks to see how they get on. But the last three people I've hired are all gone. I used to give the former boss so much shit about him hiring people that were crap, and my record has been even worse.

Do we have any recruitment wankers here that can tell me where I'm going wrong?

Why have the three you hired left?

[SvN]

One guy left after 3 months with no explanation, he just got another role - since then, he's had 4 jobs in 18 months so I think he's just a tosser. One was the guy I sacked, and the third one moved here from Poland and couldn't settle in the area so moved back after 6 months.

[Raoul Duke]

The word "process" is generous - there isn't one really. For the last three frond end developers, I've just posted on the usual jobsites/twitter/our own website and then interview. There's no parameters that determine a successful interview - it's largely down to "vibe", with their skillset being secondary (unless they're completely under qualified). If the interview goes well, we ideally get them in for a day to see how they fit in (we pay them for this), set them a few basic tasks and then if all is good, hire them.

Sounds like you might have hit a few duds, but you could perhaps standardise your evaluation criteria somewhat. It matters less if you're hiring juniors but it can't help to have a bit of rigour around it.

For a start you could do a screening call to find out if they're idiots before you get them in. If it's a development role, depending on the level, there are some common whiteboard or coding exercises they could do. Do you have a CTO or Lead Dev who can help assess technical quality?

The other thing to think about is your on boarding and reviews process. How do you get them up-to-speed and contributing? How do you give them feedback as they're getting started?

[Jimmy Floyd]

Over to you, Giggles.

[phonics]

Sounds like you might have hit a few duds, but you could perhaps standardise your evaluation criteria somewhat. It matters less if you're hiring juniors but it can't help to have a bit of rigour around it.

For a start you could do a screening call to find out if they're idiots before you get them in. If it's a development role, depending on the level, there are some common whiteboard or coding exercises they could do. Do you have a CTO or Lead Dev who can help assess technical quality?

The other thing to think about is your on boarding and reviews process. How do you get them up-to-speed and contributing? How do you give them feedback as they're getting started?

I think with any design agency, you're never going to have a better than 70% success rate. You can put in all the parameters in the world and it won't change much.

I believe Google did an investigation on their own hiring practices and found an exact success/fail rate of 50%.

edit: The above stat is fake news. Sorry. I conflated the Google report with the general average which is between 40-60%

Google say they have an 86% success rate but they're not only picking from the absolute cream of the crop but each interview is interviewed 4 times by 4 separate people. You'd be half a team down for a week for every hire you made at that point.

edit2: SvN, do you need a designer? I'm reliable and looking to come back. You already know all my flaws.

[Giggles]

Over to you, Giggles.

Eh?

[phonics]

Jimmy wants you to call him a nonce for talking in HR about 'standardizing evaluation criteria'

[Giggles]

Jimmy wants you to call him a nonce for talking in HR about 'standardizing evaluation criteria'

Funnily enough that was the exact point I zoned out and stopped reading. If I wanted to see a grown man fellate themselves I could find a video somewhere.

[Danny]

We used to have potential new hires field a basic accounting test. If you had just finished school it should be a breeze. If not, recruiting gave you high level prep anyway. That used to filter out serious duds, until we were told we couldn’t make people do it anymore.

Since then we have expanded the interview process to have people meet their “peers” in the role they are applying for. Too many people have opened up ‘too much’ and had themselves counted out almost instantly by saying some dumb shit.

[Baz]

My team at work are about to launch a new “campaign” but are still trying to come up with a name. They’ve made mock posters with twitter handles on but haven’t actually registered any of them, because I don’t know. Tempted to register all the leading candidates and put a goatse profile pic on them. :baz:

[SvN]

Sounds like you might have hit a few duds, but you could perhaps standardise your evaluation criteria somewhat. It matters less if you're hiring juniors but it can't help to have a bit of rigour around it.

For a start you could do a screening call to find out if they're idiots before you get them in. If it's a development role, depending on the level, there are some common whiteboard or coding exercises they could do. Do you have a CTO or Lead Dev who can help assess technical quality?

The other thing to think about is your on boarding and reviews process. How do you get them up-to-speed and contributing? How do you give them feedback as they're getting started?

To be fair, the three that all left were juniors - perhaps that's the problem. I do like to train people to do things our way rather than trying to convince them that their way isn't how we want them to do things. Purely on about front end development here by the way - so HTML/CSS mostly, with a bit of JS.

At the interview stage, I'm more interested in their attitude, willingness to learn/respond to feedback and general intelligence to be honest - skills can usually be taught at the level they're working at, providing they have at least minimal experience.

They're trained by one of the lead developers and he's also in the interviews with me - he has his say on the candidates, and to date we've never disagreed. Once they're hired, we do monthly reviews for the first 3 months then quarterly reviews after that for the first year. I'm not entirely sure on the ongoing, less formalised process for feedback because I let the lead dev handle that, but I do know that they have weekly code reviews for the first month at least.

[Jimmy Floyd]

My boss just asked me if I'd go clean shaven to our trade fair (I currently have a shortish, reasonably neat beard as I have since I joined the company. Think very long stubble, trim once a week sort of beard). I'm not sure if it was a serious request or some kind of test, but I said I would not go clean shaven as this is how I choose to look. He just said 'ok' and booked my flights.

Not sure about that one.

[Ian]

It sounds like he either just doesn't much like proper facial hair or just doesn't think yours constitutes an actual beard.

[Spikey M]

There goes that raise you wanted, hippy.

[Danny]

And while you are at it, shave those sideburns.

[Foe]

And while you are at it, shave those sideburns.

Brilliant.

[Baz]

Just received an e-mail sent to me and a few others, with a list of actions to be completed by certain people by certain dates.

One of them is aimed at the stupid 50 year old woman who does next to no work, yet constantly takes credit for the work done by me. A lot of it. All the time. I hate her. It says ‘when you’re back from your weeks holiday please can you show BA (me) how to do mail merge letters.’

Are you fucking kidding me? :moop:

[Giggles]

Just received an e-mail sent to me and a few others, with a list of actions to be completed by certain people by certain dates.

One of them is aimed at the stupid 50 year old woman who does next to no work, yet constantly takes credit for the work done by me. A lot of it. All the time. I hate her. It says ‘when you’re back from your weeks holiday please can you show BA (me) how to do mail merge letters.’

Are you fucking kidding me? :moop:

It surely wouldn't take long to come up with a plan to destroy her. Get on it.

[Baz]

I’m open to suggestions.

I’ve started putting a white B in cell B69 of all my spreadsheets, where possible. Small steps.

[Spikey M]

Step 1, take credit for what you've done. Email your manager telling them what you've done that she's taking credit for.

Step 2, tell them if you already know how to do something.

Step 3, stop being so moist.

[Baz]

:worried:

Her and my manager are practically best mates, so it's a fine line.

[Mike]

Will she know how to mail merge? If not play dumb then let her mate know she couldn’t show you but thankfully you already knew.

[Baz]

She definitely will not.

Hopefully I can find a way to let everyone know she failed but it’s okay cos I already knew, without having to pretend I didn’t know. If that makes sense?

[Offshore Toon]

Just act like you don't know much about it, so you'd like her to show you how she does it as you think you could learn from her. Then when she shits the bed, make out like what you know is pretty obvious, standard stuff and she'll look like even more of an idiot.

[Offshore Toon]

The woman who sits next to me, whose life is a constant tragedy, had a bit of a 'mare again this week. The highlight was on Wednesday when she was sat with her head in her hands for about ten minutes at her desk, so our manager went over and asked if she was alright, to which she muttered "my toes are cold."

[Giggles]

She needs to just fucking end it at that stage.

[Offshore Toon]

Pretty much, yeah. Everybody has tried to help her but she never follows through with any advice, so she just cycles through these episodes (she does have it pretty rough tbf) and at this point we all just kinda ignore it and get on with things. The worst time was when she was lying in the corner of the room with her eyes closed just whimpering for an hour or so. I've told her time and time again to just go home when she feels like that, but I guess when it happens so frequently she'd only be in half the time and that creates different issues.

[Shindig]

Problem is, if she took time off for it, she'd barely be in. We have someone like that who's on flexi. Since she came back from a stint on the sick, she's never seen past 3:30pm. And she wonders why she's skint.

[Smjffy]

Today I went from commis chef to chef de partie. :-D

[SvN]

So you get to set the time on the microwave now?

[Mazuuurk]

Those things sounds like wanky titles used in French political parties.

[Baz]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i8YYLctCco8

[Spikey M]

Our daughter gets called our Sous Chef and she's fucking shit. Food all over the floor, all over her face, in her hair, everywhere. And she's in a superior position to you Smiff. You must be truly awful.

[mo]

Interview tomorrow for Head of History job. Trying to think positive, but it's now just dawned on me that this may well make it 3 for 3 if I don't get the job. I can hear the start of the phonecall and know how these things go. Hard to take constructive criticism when you've just been told you weren't up to scratch.

But I don't think I can prepare any further really. Got a night without the baby so will hopefully get a decent night's sleep at least.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Good luck. My mate was going for an assistant head job recently (or something of that ilk), lost out to someone else internal, and was a bit despondent as he doesn't think he'll ever move on from head of year 7, which he currently is. I said Jesus, you're twenty-six. Which he also is. From the outside I'd guess it can take you down unexpected roads.

[phonics]

I don't think we had a head of year under the age of 40 let alone a department but I guess turnovers so high you assume you'll be Headmaster by 40 these days.

[Spikey M]

This (https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-5679241/Essex-teacher-kicked-female-pupil-branded-f-ugly-barred-classrooms.html) is my old Head of History, and he also went on to Deputy Head status after my time.

and

This (https://www.echo-news.co.uk/news/14530498.former-teacher-faces-child-porn-allegations/) is my old Head Teacher. He went on to be a Governor and a Magistrate after my time.

There's two strategies to see you reach the top. Both have their risks, granted, but, yeah, you know, have you considered hitting/noncing the kids?

[niko_cee]

From my piecemeal understanding of the education employment advancement system you either have to be an insider or to be (effectively) moving sideways to get jobs. I've a friend who recently became a head where he did whatever training it is you have to do to become one (not the school he was an assistant head in) after unsuccessfully applying for numerous other head teacher roles. I think he, somehow, lost out to the same candidate on more than one occasion for those jobs, which seemed a bit mental.

Edit, or the above. Dark side ftw.

[Panda Bear]

SvN, regarding your hires:
1) the pillock was always a pillock, and you were probably too nice about it;
2) tossers who can get 4 jobs in 18 months never present as tossers until they've already tossed; and
3) when you mentioned the homesick girl, I thought you meant she lived in like... Birmingham and moved to Southampton for the job rather than moving all the way from Poland. that's a huge leap.

that just sounds like luck rather than hiring practice

also

do you guys allow for the whole "can terminate without cause in first three months of employment" thing

[Panda Bear]

@mo

aren't you in your early to mid thirties? if you don't get the position, you're still fine going forward. in all likelihood, you're probably just perceived as being too green/young because ageism

[phonics]

This (https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-5679241/Essex-teacher-kicked-female-pupil-branded-f-ugly-barred-classrooms.html) is my old Head of History, and he also went on to Deputy Head status after my time.

and

This (https://www.echo-news.co.uk/news/14530498.former-teacher-faces-child-porn-allegations/) is my old Head Teacher. He went on to be a Governor and a Magistrate after my time.

There's two strategies to see you reach the top. Both have their risks, granted, but, yeah, you know, have you considered hitting/noncing the kids?

It's wild that I left the UK so long ago that there literally aren't stories online of the various abuses teachers committed.

[SvN]

SvN, regarding your hires:
1) the pillock was always a pillock, and you were probably too nice about it;
2) tossers who can get 4 jobs in 18 months never present as tossers until they've already tossed; and
3) when you mentioned the homesick girl, I thought you meant she lived in like... Birmingham and moved to Southampton for the job rather than moving all the way from Poland. that's a huge leap.

that just sounds like luck rather than hiring practice

also

do you guys allow for the whole "can terminate without cause in first three months of employment" thing

All three points are correct, but I just wish I was better at judging people. Although deep down I never felt 100% on any of them to be honest - but that was also true about the last successful hire, who has turned out brilliantly. I've already replaced the latest leaver with someone who's graduating Uni in June, and I feel very good about it - so she'll probably resign after a week.

And yes, we can terminate with one week's notice within the first 3 months.

[mo]

Good luck. My mate was going for an assistant head job recently (or something of that ilk), lost out to someone else internal, and was a bit despondent as he doesn't think he'll ever move on from head of year 7, which he currently is. I said Jesus, you're twenty-six. Which he also is. From the outside I'd guess it can take you down unexpected roads.

Yeah I mean at 26, he's less experience than I am (by a year). I'd say age is against him becoming a senior leader at the moment.


I don't think we had a head of year under the age of 40 let alone a department but I guess turnovers so high you assume you'll be Headmaster by 40 these days.

Our head who just left was 45-ish, in post for 5 years and had been a head elsewhere before for a couple of years. A lot of HoDs at ours are early 30s, but granted more experience than I am.


This (https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-5679241/Essex-teacher-kicked-female-pupil-branded-f-ugly-barred-classrooms.html) is my old Head of History, and he also went on to Deputy Head status after my time.

and

This (https://www.echo-news.co.uk/news/14530498.former-teacher-faces-child-porn-allegations/) is my old Head Teacher. He went on to be a Governor and a Magistrate after my time.

There's two strategies to see you reach the top. Both have their risks, granted, but, yeah, you know, have you considered hitting/noncing the kids?

Only read the first link properly and it made me feel unwell. Hitting some of them has briefly flashed across my mind but, you know, it's just too high-risk a strategy.


From my piecemeal understanding of the education employment advancement system you either have to be an insider or to be (effectively) moving sideways to get jobs. I've a friend who recently became a head where he did whatever training it is you have to do to become one (not the school he was an assistant head in) after unsuccessfully applying for numerous other head teacher roles. I think he, somehow, lost out to the same candidate on more than one occasion for those jobs, which seemed a bit mental.

Edit, or the above. Dark side ftw.

Much like any other industry, it can often be a case of 'who you know'.

@mo

aren't you in your early to mid thirties? if you don't get the position, you're still fine going forward. in all likelihood, you're probably just perceived as being too green/young because ageism

This is true. I am 33, and with 5 years under my belt, not as experience as others my age. Average age of school leaders is likely 10/15 years lower than what it was when we were at school due to retention issues and lack of decent recruitment strategy.

All in all, I feel a lot better. A bit like when you think you've just gotten a major fault in your driving licence, I feel a bit like the pressure is off, so maybe I'll relax and proceed unimpeded.

[Foe]

My job is changing at some point in the next few months. Probably going to be worse too so I'll hopefully look for other roles. Be interesting to find out whether I'm allowed to leave though.

[Giggles]

SvN, regarding your hires:
1) the pillock was always a pillock, and you were probably too nice about it;
2) tossers who can get 4 jobs in 18 months never present as tossers until they've already tossed; and
3) when you mentioned the homesick girl, I thought you meant she lived in like... Birmingham and moved to Southampton for the job rather than moving all the way from Poland. that's a huge leap.

that just sounds like luck rather than hiring practice

also

do you guys allow for the whole "can terminate without cause in first three months of employment" thing

Someone moving from Poland isn't that big a deal. I don't think there's anyone left there at this stage.

[Foe]

A good proportion of them are hotties so let's be inclusive. :yn:

[Jimmy Floyd]

I deal with the Poles on a daily basis and there isn't a better nation of people out there. Zero fucks given, zero bullshit, they just get on with it.

Apart from the Kubica online fans, who are clinically insane.

[Giggles]

I deal with the Poles on a daily basis and there isn't a better nation of people out there. Zero fucks given, zero bullshit, they just get on with it.

Apart from the Kubica online fans, who are clinically insane.

Definitely. Abrupt and straight to the point. Makes them a dream to deal with.

[Spikey M]

I've never met a Pole who wasn't decent. Our IT technician is Polish and he's great. The first time I met him he was talking about the IT crowd and just kept saying 'Cheese Burger' over and over again. I've either not seen the episode or I'm missing the reference, but I enjoyed the inversion of him schooling me on British TV.

[phonics]

The Dutch are similar in their no bullshit approach but also want you to do everything their way and any other angle you'd like to approach the issue from is deemed 'crazy' or a waste of time. Which is annoying but you work around it. However, the amount of 'this guys a fucking idiot' or 'did you hear about this person, doing x, so bad' they told me makes me assume they were saying exactly the same stuff about me when I wasn't there.

[bruhnaldo]

I've never met a Pole who wasn't decent. Our IT technician is Polish and he's great. The first time I met him he was talking about the IT crowd and just kept saying 'Cheese Burger' over and over again. I've either not seen the episode or I'm missing the reference, but I enjoyed the inversion of him schooling me on British TV.

i feel like i've watched that show at least 4 times completely and have no fucking idea what "cheese burger" is in reference to

[phonics]

i feel like i've watched that show at least 4 times completely and have no fucking idea what "cheese burger" is in reference to

I don't think it's a reference to anything either. I think he was just calling Spikey a greasy cunt. Also, foreigners seem to fall in love with random words like they're funny to say? I went to uni with an estonian bloke (total weirdo) that was similar.