[Football] Midweek Fixtures - Premier League, plus various cups (30/31 Jan)

[Reg]

19:45 unless stated.

Tuesday
Swansea v Arsenal
West Ham v Crystal Palace
Huddersfield v Liverpool - 20:00 BT Sport 1

Sheffield Utd v Aston Villa - Sky Sports Football
Atalanta v Juventus (Cup SF 1st Leg) - Sky Sports Mix / Red Button
Rennes v PSG (League Cup SF) - 20:05 BT Sport 3
Moreirense v Porto - 21:00 FreeSports

Wednesday
Chelsea v Bournemouth
Everton v Leicester
Newcastle v Burnley
Southampton v Brighton
Stoke v Watford
Man City v West Brom - 20:00
Tottenham v Man Utd - 20:00 BT Sport 1


Fraserburgh v Rangers (Cup 4R) - 19:30 Sky Sports Football
Milan v Lazio (Cup SF 1st Leg) - Sky Sports Mix / Red Button
Monaco v Montpellier (League Cup SF) - 20:00 BT Sport 3

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Why do they put the cup draw on The fucking One Show these days?

[Jimmy Floyd]

Monday night cup draw is a nonsense. It should be cut to Graham Kelly at 5.55 on a Sunday night.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Making fans outside shake hands?

What the fuck is this shit?

[Reg]

Sheffield Wednesday v Notts County or Swansea
West Brom v Southampton
Chelsea v Hull City
Leicester v Sheffield United
Huddersfield or Birmingham v Manchester United
Millwall or Rochdale v Newport or Tottenham
Brighton v Coventry
Wigan v Manchester City

We haven't got to the quarter-finals in my lifetime so getting through would be great (even if it means making Wullie sad).

[Jimmy Floyd]

All 10 home teams wear blue or blue and white stripes. Reckon we might sneak onto BT again.

[Spikey M]

Why do they put the cup draw on The fucking One Show these days?

Because nobody in their right mind watches it otherwise.

[Baz]

We’ll be back tomorrow. Time to smash huddersfield.

[Kikó]

Benfica officially lost any chance of the league tonight. Rotten season.

[Pleb]

That Huddersfield cup game screams a Mourinho MELTDOWN!

[Giggles]

Nothing on Sky again, useless pricks.

[phonics]

Love a fog match.

[phonics]

You can see the water rolling off the ball :drool: Old school. This would have been called off at the old place.

[niko_cee]

Liverpool's line-up would probably work better as a back 3 with Miler at right wingback.

'Virgil' on the bench is a vote of confidence.

[phonics]

He must be nackered after barely playing for 6 months.

[phonics]

"Arsenal haven't got their crisp passing game on yet" ignoring that 1) Arsenal haven't had crisp passing in 5 years. 2) The pitch is so wet the balls moving at about half the speed it should and bouncing weird.

[Mazuuurk]

Someone who wants to share a good stream of the Arsenal game?

[phonics]

Not the most original thought but I think Arsenal would be better off shooting more and passing less.

[phonics]

I was intrigued as to the Swansea advertisement hoarding and got more than I bargained for.

https://i.imgur.com/z9ooPWY.png

[phonics]

Lol. Agent cech.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Does Aubameyang realise he'll never play Champions League again?

[-james-]

I doubt there will be a worse game this season than this Huddersfield - Liverpool one. Huddersfield just want it over with, and Liverpool haven't created a clear cut chance all game.

[-james-]

Huddersfield just got a throw in 8 yards from the goal line. Here we go.

Straight to Karius.

[-james-]

It's ERUPTED into life now. I'm eating my words.

lol Arsenal.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Arsenal :harold:

[Samadini]

Newcastle are going down. Too many teams have started to improve. Can't see us doing better than 3 of them.

[Mazuuurk]

Ironically these types of games are exactly why having someone like Giroud is great. Arsenal trying to pass the ball around in what is borderline a swamp is farcical to watch as the Swansea players could take basically crawl and still catch the ball.

[Magic]

Our game sounds exceptionally dire.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Carlos had a dream.

Promoted three on the fabled glass mountain now.

[niko_cee]

Does Aubameyang realise he'll never play Champions League again?

Hasn't he been constantly linked with China? I doubt he's that bothered.

All in on the wafer cup now for them though, which should be do-able. Is he allowed to play in that?

It is, indeed, looking bleak for the three teams that came up. Brighton desperately need something tomorrow night (and then a win against West Ham). Having said that, they'll probably stay up by beating Spurs, United and Liverpool in their last 4 games.

[phonics]

We've conceded more goals than West Brom. The banter era is back baybay.

[Jimmy Floyd]

I keep seeing this 'banter era' shite, what does it mean?

[Lewis]

'Swansea stun Arsenal' is the BBC headline, as if it was 2004.

[Lewis]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0CVmsKbifX0

'We're all fucking normal mate.'

[Jimmy Floyd]

You have to hand it to Ty. Rest of the cunts are throwing women and children out of lifeboats, and he's still there conducting the band in his White Star Line beanie hat. Love you till the end.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

:drool:

That's glorious.

[Spammer]

Frustrating night last night for THE MIGHTY BLADES. Two points outside of the playoff zone now, which is a bit annoying.

THE MIGHTY BLADES

[Jimmy Floyd]

Props for the amount of carthorses you had on the pitch by the end of the game though.

[Mazuuurk]

You have to hand it to Ty. Rest of the cunts are throwing women and children out of lifeboats, and he's still there conducting the band in his White Star Line beanie hat. Love you till the end.

Are you moving on to films now?

[Jimmy Floyd]

Real events, m8. Although I did chuck a pre-2000 song in there just for you.

[Mazuuurk]

Anyway for what it's worth, in terms of people who go on Arsenal Fan TV, it's a refreshing type of cuntery.

[John]

Titanic is a film Floyd, you div.

That's reminded me of some Yank news outlet headlining their coverage of the Costa Concordia sinking with 'REAL LIFE TITANIC!', so thank you.

[Mazuuurk]

Whatever it was, it's an elegant metaphor for Arsenal.

Actually maybe not, at least Titanic sunk pretty fast. Arsenal is more like a dementia patient slowly deteriorating into some sort of shit and piss-stained demise.

[-james-]

Is Cenk Tosun rubbish? I've not seen him yet but he's been dropped to the bench in favour of Niasse.

[Lewis]

United's attack suddenly looks mega with 'Alexis' chucked in, so watch them all run into each other and lose 1-0.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

834377006045343745

'Alexis' to run wild.

[Foe]

Rangers playing on a highland pitch which is the sort of thing you'd see in your local park. If you Iived in the 1990s.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Fucking lol.

[Lewis]

What was that whopper Phil Jones doing there?

[Jimmy Floyd]

Rangers playing on a highland pitch which is the sort of thing you'd see in your local park. If you Iived in the 1990s.

Having been to Fraserburgh, reckon 1990s is being kind. Nice to see a few proper fatties though.

United Twitter has been on full defence re. City's spending the last few days, but the reality is they're in a battle for 2nd, 3rd and 4th with clubs whose resources they dwarf. City by far the best team and not relevant.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

We were robbed!

Get VAR on the case. 20 minutes and a reversal.

[randomlegend]

Cheating route one bastards.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Lukaku :cab:

[Shindig]

Have we missed a penalty in our game? BBC's text coverage has awarded us one but not followed up with who missed it.

EDIT: Joselu. Twat.

[Lewis]

United Twitter has been on full defence re. City's spending the last few days, but the reality is they're in a battle for 2nd, 3rd and 4th with clubs whose resources they dwarf. City by far the best team and not relevant.

I wonder if those are linked.

[mugbull]

Dele Alli is genuinely retarded

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Phil Jones has been hitting the whisky hard in preparation for this game.

Good finish.

[SvN]

Jones is playing like he's just woken up from a coma.

[Lewis]

I was about to post calling Lukaku (has he ever received a through ball?) an idiot but fucking hell I don't have the right.

[randomlegend]

Holy shit that was bad :D

We've looked pretty good this game but totally fucked ourselves with two absolutely amateur pieces defending.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Usual toothless shite from us by the sounds of it, although having not a single forward named in the squad probably hasn't helped that. Callum Hudson-Odoi might genuinely be our best hope off the bench.

Oh and Christensen is knackered so the season's a write off.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Don't worry boys, only an hour or so until Verón rifles home the fifth.

[Jimmy Floyd]

lol, Crapayoko strikes again.

[-james-]

Son and Alli have been proper excellent. Lukaku looks hilariously out of place.

[Waffdon]

Chelslol

[mugbull]

Son and Alli have been proper excellent. Lukaku looks hilariously out of place.

Alli has bungled a half dozen attacks

[Jimmy Floyd]

Is there an app where you can track Guus Hiddink's movements around the globe?

[-james-]

Alli has bungled a half dozen attacks

He's stretched United constantly. Runs have been class.

[mugbull]

He's stretched United constantly. Runs have been class.

Yeah, that's why he starts every game, he knows where he should be. Unfortunately he's blind to everyone else

[SvN]

Fellaini has been completely Chadwicked there. What the fuck?!

[Lewis]

This is like that winter period when 'LvG' was about to be sacked every weekend. People just stood about being useless.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Did he bring on the wrong midfielder?

A 5 minute appearance?

[Shindig]

Fuck sake.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Oh and lol at Chelsea.

[randomlegend]

We are playing like shit now. We have to play 4-3-3 in these games, a midfield 2 of Pogba and Matic get completely over-run.

If Fellaini isn't injured then lol at that...

[SvN]

This isn't just a poor performance, half of them look like they couldn't care less.

[Mike]

Boss this.

[Shindig]

I wouldn't call that a good point. At least Brighton were held. This relegation battle might go down to six clubs and goal difference, at this rate. Had we won, we'd be two points off 10th. And two points off 17th. This is like Championship Manager when the goals dry up 20 years down the line.

[Waffdon]

Dele Alli :D

I love him

[randomlegend]

Yeah mate petulantly kicking people what a legend :D

#livelovesesh

[-james-]

He's been proper shit ever since I said he'd been proper good.

[SvN]

Lukaku will end up going back to Everton in 18 months for about £30 million.

[Lewis]

I would take that in the next hour if it was offered.

[Waffdon]

Yeah mate petulantly kicking people what a legend :D

#livelovesesh

Correct.

[Kikó]

Completely clueless.

[Lewis]

I hope Randrew's brother WAAAAAAYs in his face before bed and tips him over the edge.

[randomlegend]

He was more interested in the fact we lost to Huddersfield a while ago because Liverpool beat them 3-0 so that means Liverpool are better than Man Utd.

[Lewis]

No wonder you were seething if he's donned you that hard.

[CJay]

Hey we're now up to third and 3 points off second. Not a bad set of results.

Bournemouth thrashing Chelsea at Stamford Bridge like that must be right up there in terms of shock results.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Apparently Fellaini has a nagging injury.

Bullshit.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Hey we're now up to third and 3 points off second. Not a bad set of results.

Bournemouth thrashing Chelsea at Stamford Bridge like that must be right up there in terms of shock results.

It happens to us once/twice a season these days. Burnley ran riot in similar fashion in August.

Eddie Howe has form for pinching the points from the Bridge as well, the David Cameron era Tory scamp.

[CJay]

It happens to us once/twice a season these days. Burnley ran riot in similar fashion in August.

Eddie Howe has form for pinching the points from the Bridge as well, the David Cameron era Tory scamp.

True. I think Nedum Onuoha rampaging through your defence for Sunderland in a 3-0 win was the first of its kind.

[Danny]

That Chelsea team :drool:

http://news.bbc.co.uk/sport2/hi/football/eng_prem/9180668.stm

[Magic]

Malouda and Kalou. :harold:

[Waffdon]

Four full backs in defence plus Zhirkov :D

That’s brutal.

[Jimmy Floyd]

The Useless Brothers ended up winning the lot, 12 major trophies between them at Chelsea.

[ScousePig]

What a time to be alive that was. We were genuinely pretty good then, but not again until Allardyce's brief spell. I can't remember many other times post Reid.

We're possibly about to hit the nadir, after securing a young Liverpool midfielder on loan and a striker from Albion Rovers.

[John Arne]

Rofl, lol etc.

[Samadini]

I think I called him out for being a complete an utter cunt the other week, but Kenedy is instantly our best player by a mile (other than Diame who I'm now convinced is a Monstar and has stolen the talents of a world class midfielder (check one of the top teams to see who is out of form)). Genuine quality crosses that actually go where they're supposed to :drool:. I figured he would have some technical ability and flair, but be a twat with it, but was actually really mature on the ball, made lots of good decisions. Don't have an option to buy :(

[Jimmy Floyd]

He doesn't have a future with us I don't think (in this day and age you don't come back from slagging off the Chinese) so get involved.

[Shindig]

Kenedy on one flank and Ritchie on the other should reap some rewards. Especially with Ritchie on the pitch to take the penalties. :moop:

[Samadini]

That Joselu penalty miss was as inevitable as that Benteke one earlier in the season.

Poor Joselu actually had a decent game, semi decent at quite a few things other than finishing.

[Ian]

Top Space Jam reference, Samadini. :cool:

[Jimmy Floyd]

Christ I couldn't remember what that was from. The shame.

[Lewis]

That Gary Neville and 'Carra' debate was good, even if they are a year behind TTH in realising that Chelsea are no longer a MASSIVE club (is there anything we're not miles ahead with?). It should be a regular thing.

[Jimmy Floyd]

We should be back at Ken Bates era levels really. I have no idea how we won the league last year, Pep and Mourinho each had by far the poorest season of their respective careers (well, apart from that run to November Jose had with us) and Conte had an absolute blinder.

I'll confidently say that subject to further MASSIVE state backed investment elsewhere, or other black swan events, City will win at least seven of the next ten titles and United will win any leftovers.

[Magic]

Everybody says that but maybe we'll see an arsenal or spurs title win?

[Magic]

:harold:

[Jimmy Floyd]

The one thing I'm really confident on is that Liverpool will never win it again, and I mean literally never again. The city doesn't have the emotional strength anymore. Too obsessed with football.

[niko_cee]

Well, at least until they unearth the world's largest bitcoin deposit under Fenway Park.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Even if that happened they'd just blow it all on a short stop. 86 years they waited, I'm sure Liverpool fans will be just as patient.

[niko_cee]

Pep at short-stop, Mourinho catcher.

[Jimmy Floyd]

And Pardew designated hitter.