[Football] Weekend Fixtures (19-22 January)

[Reg]

http://www.live-footballontv.com

15:00 unless stated.

Friday
Derby v Bristol City - 19:45, Sky

Saturday
Brighton v Chelsea - 12:30, Sky
Arsenal v Crystal Palace
Burnley v Man United
Everton v West Brom
Leicester v Watford
Stoke v Huddersfield
West Ham v Bournemouth
Man City v Newcastle - 17:30, BT

Sheffield Wed v Cardiff - 17:30, Sky

Sunday
Southampton v Spurs - 16:00, Sky

Inter v Roma - 19:45, BT

Monday
Swansea v Liverpool - 20:00, Sky

[Jimmy Floyd]

This is where my 'agreed goalless draw' system would come into its own. At least three of these games simply don't need to take place, and everyone can use their Saturday for something more productive if both managers agree to a 0-0 result the night before.

[Kikó]

Burnley away is going to be a gravel fest.

[SvN]

Burnley 0- 1 Man Utd
Lingard '88

[Lewis]

http://www.football365.com/news/veron-ferdinand-keane-man-uniteds-real-biggest-transfers

:cool:

[Magic]

That Inter Roma game should be delish.

[niko_cee]

This is where my 'agreed goalless draw' system would come into its own. At least three of these games simply don't need to take place, and everyone can use their Saturday for something more productive if both managers agree to a 0-0 result the night before.

You lumping your boys into that equation?

[Jimmy Floyd]

Undoubtedly. There's simply no need for that game to be played.

[Magic]

Hopefully City absolutely melt Newcastle.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Our team is tragic today. Howard Webb still in goal, Batshite up front and Crapayoko in a two with Kanté. 5-2-3. Might go and put some My Chemical Romance on and slash my wrists.

[Adamski]

Our team is tragic today. Howard Webb still in goal, Batshite up front and Crapayoko in a two with Kanté. 5-2-3. Might go and put some My Chemical Romance on and slash my wrists.

Nice post, Magic.

[John Arne]

Very, very soft pen for the Arabs in the Vietnam-Iraq game. 1-1.

[Magic]

Nice post, Magic.

I've repped him.

[John]

That's a pure FIFA goal.

[Magic]

Shiteon. :harold:

[Jimmy Floyd]

The Brighton midfield pair are in serious need of some help here.

[Jimmy Floyd]

God bless you, Jon Moss.

[John]

Solly March looks like a very tidy little player.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Jon Moss has a Peter Osgood sex doll at home.

[niko_cee]

Brighton tried this 5 at the back wank against Liverpool and got spannered so Christ knows why they've gone back to it.

No point wasting a penalty in a lost cause so no great tragedy they didn't get either of those shouts.

[Magic]

That's what you get when you employ BAME to prove a point.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Christensen is an absolute don. Should be young player of the year unless Sterling still qualifies.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Sterling does.

[Lewis]

Does he qualify as 'home grown', or will they have to sell him to United in a couple of years and sign Micah Richards?

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

He does but they're always going to need Micah Richards.

[Jimmy Floyd]

He's homegrown, you only have to be 'registered' here.

David Luiz and Alonso guarding our left, less a bombscare than an entire insurgency campaign. And how shit is Batshuayi. Decision making of a baby.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

I'd suggest that everyone backing off from Hazard isn't the best way to defend against him.

[niko_cee]

That's what you get when you employ BAME to prove a point.

I reckon they black Hughton up on that weird pre-match line-up thing they do on sky (where all the players do odd poses).

[Jimmy Floyd]

I think this might be his best game ever. Everyone else has been shit, and because of him we've won 3-0.

[phonics]

954718589956841472

twat

[niko_cee]

Well, him and the ref.

Tomer Hemed fantasy football owners despair. They probably have been for a while though, in fairness.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

That's a cracking pass by Musonda.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

954718589956841472

twat

:harold:

[Jimmy Floyd]

Well, him and the ref.

Tomer Hemed fantasy football owners despair. They probably have been for a while though, in fairness.

Shane Duffy owners aren't exactly delighted with life either.

[niko_cee]

Brighton paying for being bigged up beforehand for not conceding many from open play this season.

Luckily I subbed Ryan out of nets this week.

[Reg]

Hmph. We were better going forward than we have been in months. Should have scored, should have had a penalty, hit the post. But it seemed to come at the expense of defending at all. That second goal was world class but that fourth was a shambles - all three centre backs acting like it's a warm up drill and they're not really there to put pressure on, just some moving objects to amuse the attacker.

niko_cee We didn't play a 3/5 v Liverpool, that's the first time we've played it. I don't think we should abandon it just yet. Particularly because Schelotto looked really good going forward and the idea of playing March up front was promising.

[CJay]

For some reason I've opted for Burnley - United. Likely going to be dull as ditchwater.

Anyone see Dyche's denial of the worm-eating yesterday? He couldn't sound guiltier if he tried. :D

https://www.theguardian.com/football/video/2018/jan/19/sean-dyche-burnley-worms-video

[phonics]

Monreal with 2 assists and a goal within 13 minutes.

[Ian]

Get Wenger an extension.

[John]

Someone named John-Joe O'Toole has scored for Northampton. That's a stage name, it must be.

[phonics]

Whoever does Palaces set-pieces isn't getting one. I know that.

[John Arne]

954720158622269443

:drool:

[randomlegend]

We looked great the other day, but we're absolute turd again this afternoon.

[randomlegend]

What a finish that is.

Lukaku is brilliant as well, you can all suck a dick.

[Lewis]

He is weirdly good at putting other people in, but he's been falling over his cock all afternoon.

[randomlegend]

Everyone just expects him to be a good target man because he's tall and strong, but he's much more of a "good with his feet for a big man".

EDIT: Someones going to link that compilation of him failing to control the ball 100 times now.

[Jimmy Floyd]

What happens to Tony Marshall and Trashford when 'Alexis' comes in?

[Lewis]

Yeah, as long as nobody is within five feet of him.

[randomlegend]

I would imagine 'Alexis' will mostly play centrally (behind Lukaku) or on the right. Martial deserves to keep his place, and it's our right side which is much more of a problem.

[Shindig]

The relegation battle looks far too tight for comfort.

[John]

You can't be a 'good feet for a big man' player when your first touch is routinely so bad that your second is a flimsy tackle.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Niasse :drool:

Tosun will be one of the worst signings ever I reckon.

[randomlegend]

There's apparently been a horrendous injury to McCarthy in the Everton - West Brom game. Got a video Magic?

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Double leg break.

[randomlegend]

Everyone on reddit seems to think that means both his legs broke, lol

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

I hope you schooled them with your medical knowledge.

[randomlegend]

"AS A FIFTH YEAR MEDICAL STUDENT...."

Nah, but I did find the video. Not worth the effort Magic, mate.

[Magic]

They were more concerned about Rondon and his greeting the big fat poof.

[Lewis]

That would have been 4-0 with some better decision-making (fair play Paulp Ogba being a greedy cunt when he had carried it seventy yards).

[niko_cee]

All the promoted sides are currently in the process of sinking without trace.

[phonics]

Crystal Palace have lost just two of their last 13 league games, both of which have come against Arsenal, while Arsenal’s last two league wins have come against Crystal Palace.

Can we play them every week?

[-james-]

Why is De Bruyne's runt brother playing left back?

[John]

Newcastle averaging one pass a minute so far.

[John Arne]

Oh look, Ciaran Clark in being a shit defender shocker.

[Kikó]

Proper grind out shit performance today. Someone like Sanchez is going to improve our forward play massively

[Samadini]

Life savings should have been put on a Man City clean sheet today, whatever the odds were.

[-james-]

You can still get about 26% interest on your entire bank balance, paid out in about half an hour, if you get involved now.

[Samadini]

Imagine having a bank balance.

[-james-]

Imagine indeed.

[Magic]

Life savings should have been put on a Man City clean sheet today, whatever the odds were.

:)

[Samadini]

:drool:

[Andy]

19th with Spurs tomorrow.

Pellegrino still in his job and no signings. I think the new owners are going to wait till February to get rid of him as they either don't want to spend money or don't have any money to spend. Doesn't make any sense, they spent 200m on the club six months ago and they're happily watching everything go tits up.

[Raoul Duke]

Careful what you wish for. AVB is out of a job right now.

[Lewis]

Jesus, he's still only forty.

[Giggles]

Careful what you wish for. AVB is out of a job right now.

Didn't he completely retire from soccer to become a rally driver (and is laid up after doing so now)?

[Max Power]

19th with Spurs tomorrow.

Pellegrino still in his job and no signings. I think the new owners are going to wait till February to get rid of him as they either don't want to spend money or don't have any money to spend. Doesn't make any sense, they spent 200m on the club six months ago and they're happily watching everything go tits up.

Glad you found Puel too boring... he'll do for me.

Mahrez going for £75m+ in the summer and he's still underrated.

[Andy]

Glad you found Puel too boring... he'll do for me.

Mahrez going for £75m+ in the summer and he's still underrated.

It was mind numbingly boring last season but at least there was a clear plan and a style Puel was trying to implement. Puel had it a lot harder last season as well as we had so much fixture congestion with the Europa and cup run.

We have been getting progressively worse since Koeman left and I'd be surprised now if we stay up considering our run in. It's been so bad since the cup final last year I feel like I've become unattached from the club.

[Max Power]

It was mind numbingly boring last season but at least there was a clear plan and a style Puel was trying to implement. Puel had it a lot harder last season as well as we had so much fixture congestion with the Europa and cup run.

We have been getting progressively worse since Koeman left and I'd be surprised now if we stay up considering our run in. It's been so bad since the cup final last year I feel like I've become unattached from the club.

He's a lovely boring French bastard and I wouldnt have him any other way. He does have Mahrez/Vardy etc to work with so maybe we are seeing the best of it.

Youll still stay up, so much dross down there and theres enough quality to stay above water but probably made an error in binning Puel no?

[niko_cee]

I tend to think Southampton will stay up for the same reason, but next week's game against Brighton is MASSIVE. Loser could easily be for the drop. :uhoh:

[-james-]

You could tell me more or less any combination of the bottom eight will be the ones that go down, bar probably Palace, and I'd believe you. My three seem to change week on week.

[-james-]

I reckon Brighton will be fine, if they can remember how to do whatever it was they were doing before December.

I think they'll finish above Newcastle, who I don't think I've seen play well all season.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Rafa is doing an amazing job at Newcastle. They should be 20th.

[Adamski]

All joking aside, how satisfying was that Leeds result.

[Bernanke]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VIJB7e8roaY

:cool:

[Shindig]

Rafa is doing an amazing job at Newcastle. They should be 20th.

Probably. My big worry is that the teams around us have switched managers and the second wind that can sometimes comes from that. There's no movement from us.

[Andy]

He's a lovely boring French bastard and I wouldnt have him any other way. He does have Mahrez/Vardy etc to work with so maybe we are seeing the best of it.

Youll still stay up, so much dross down there and theres enough quality to stay above water but probably made an error in binning Puel no?

Looking like we should have kept Puel, although I think the real issue stems from not backing him properly when he first came to Saints. We sold Pelle, Mane and Wanyama and signed Boufal, Redmond and Hojberg which is a clear downgrade, he didn't get to even spend half the money we raised through those transfers. You can't expect to build on a sixth place finish with such a poor attitude.

Then since that summer we appointed Pellegrino which was obviously a poor appointment and have failed to back him properly. Partly due to the terrible decision made around Van Djik.

We should have sold him in the summer for 75m and re invested that cash ontop of the 25m we spent on Lemina and Hoedt.

We also decided to give Forster a new improved five year deal and he's got to be the worst keeper in the league.

If we had either financially supported Puel or signed a decent manager to replace him and financially supported him we'd be a solid top ten side rather than 19th. Joke.

[Giggles]

955024582989279233

[Jimmy Floyd]

Mafia-style execution, I love it.

[Giggles]

Paul Merson has just prematurely came all over Phil Thompsons face.

[Jimmy Floyd]

No win in seven for Burnley, Dyche can only be one bad game from the chop. Allardyce surely on the brink as well.

[Giggles]

Did Watford not turn down an approach recently?

[Jimmy Floyd]

They turned down a load of compo money from Everton, so now that they're presumably having to pay him off big style, the joke's on them.

[niko_cee]

That's funny, even for Watford and their mental manager rotation policy.


Allardyce surely on the brink as well.

Everton could sack him and go back to Plan A. Paying off Big Sam probably wouldn't be the £8m or whatever it was they were going to pay Watford, so it's cost neutral and the ship has been (sort of) righted to boot.

[Giggles]

They're actually blaming the distraction from the Everton approach in leading to his sacking.

[Andy]

He clearly had his head turned by their approach, must be hard for the players to fully buy into his methods if they think he's going to jump ship at the first chance.

[niko_cee]

It's a shame as I could have seen him taking them down and then moving onto his next victim as his inexplicable good manager status remained intact.

[Jimmy Floyd]

He's become a battleground in the football culture war, and unfortunately for him, this winter has seen the Proper Football Men make slow but steady territorial counter-gains against the previously unstoppable march of the hipsters.

[-james-]

Will a PFM ever win the league again?

[Disco]

They would automatically relinquish their status.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Will a PFM ever win the league again?

You could very plausibly argue Jose Mourinho to be a PFM, at least in his current guise, but no English manager has won the top flight since 1992. Off the top of my head I think Harry Redknapp might have come closest since about 1995. The brand is tarnished.

[phonics]

Craig Shakespeare tried to say that Leicester title was his not Ranieri's. Which is a very PFM thing to do.

[Lewis]

Mourinho was well on his way to being one in his first Chelsea spell, with his press conference banter, Frank Lampard/John Terry as his references, and occasionally talking a load of shit about managing England. Now he sits sulking in his hotel he can't buy a positive headline for love nor money, and he probably earns far too much anyway.

[Boydy]

Is he still living in that hotel?

[SvN]

It's a Travel Tavern.

[Jimmy Floyd]

How can you live in a hotel that long? Having to remember your keycard all the time and not to touch the minibar.

[Yevrah]

Why the fuck would he live in a hotel for any length of time?

[Giggles]

Why the fuck would he live in a hotel for any length of time?

I did it for 3 months before, it was fucking shit after a while. Though I imagine he's in a much nicer one than a Homewood Suites.

[Boydy]

It's a Travel Tavern.
:D

That's exactly what I was thinking.

[Disco]

The idea of Jose and his big plate.

[Lewis]

'I'm not criticising the hotel or the staff. They have a very hard job cleaning those small plates.'

[Jimmy Floyd]

He was going out of his way yesterday to say how great Mike Dean was. Even Arsene Wenger can't be enough of a mug as to rise to that one, surely.

[Jimmy Floyd]

The boy Cochrane for Hearts will be a proper player. Beautiful touch and happy to get stuck in too.

[Pleb]

Well this game is a barrel of laughs.

[Spoonsky]

Some of the dorm buildings here at McGill are 'hotel-style', which means they're actually old hotels that the university bought and renovated. The rooms are massive though they're doubles, and you have a private bathroom, but I can't imagine living in a hotel for 9 months.

[Ian]

The boy Cochrane for Hearts will be a proper player. Beautiful touch and happy to get stuck in too.

It probably only looks that way because he's playing in Scotland. If he's actually any good Celtic will buy him and either keep him forever or ruin / waste him.

If they don't want him but he's too good for the rest of the SPL he'll go to whoever the equivalent of Wigan are these days.

Also, Google images suggest he is in fact a 1990s Childrens BBC presenter or boyband hopeful. Based on the hair at least.

[Waffdon]

It probably only looks that way because he's playing in Scotland. If he's actually any good Celtic will buy him and either keep him forever or ruin / waste him.

If they don't want him but he's too good for the rest of the SPL he'll go to whoever the equivalent of Wigan are these days.

Also, Google images suggest he is in fact a 1990s Childrens BBC presenter or boyband hopeful. Based on the hair at least.

He’s only 16 but he does look a player. 2001, Jesus. :sick:

Played brilliantly when Hearts pumped Celtic 4-0 the other week.

[Ian]

I'm not quite (legally) old enough to be his dad but it's a close-run thing.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Kevin Friend giving a vile performance here. Guessing or first ruling every decision.

Spurs probably need a winner here or top four getting away from them.

[Giggles]

Went to look up Watfords new manager and, errrr.


http://i66.tinypic.com/2vjub6c.png

[Jimmy Floyd]

Must be the least inspiring appointment of all time. Not done anything of note in the game. I know Watford fans knock one out over the Pozzos, but where is their club actually going when managers are sacked irrespective of performance.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Out of idol curiosity I've just looked up Premier League managers (since football began in 1992) who are dead:

Brian Clough
John Lyall
Howard Kendall
Ian Porterfield
Alan Ball
Ray Harford
Graham Taylor

I believe that all the rest are still alive. Truly remarkable that some of the alcoholic cunts on the list (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_Premier_League_managers) are not yet pushing up daisies.

[Magic]

Kevin Friend giving a vile performance here. Guessing or first ruling every decision.

Spurs probably need a winner here or top four getting away from them.

He's a troll. Must be.

[Magic]

The boy Cochrane for Hearts will be a proper player. Beautiful touch and happy to get stuck in too.

Yep. Hopefully he makes the right moves.

[Reg]

Good time to tune in to Inter-Roma for anyone not watching. Fairly quiet for much of it but livening up now.

[niko_cee]

This new Watford man must have spent quite a bit of his life being confused with Javi Garcia (even if there is a big age gap).

[CJay]

We look a bit sleepy so far.

[Luke Emia]

I'm beginning to believe that we perform some kind of Chelsea 'Operation' on any defender that walks through the door.

[Lewis]

It's all falling into place for Arsenal to pinch fourth.

[CJay]

Swansea have been impressive - great energy and timing in the tackle. That said, we’ve been very poor all night.

[Giggles]

That was wonderful from Firmino.

You can always count on Liverpool for nights like this.

[Baz]

Shambles.

[SvN]

What a wonderful day.

[Raoul Duke]

They should have brought Coutinho on, he'd have changed the game

[Shindig]

Whelp. That's us kinda sealed unless Mike Ashley finds a buyer or a completely new outlook on life.

[Spoonsky]

Really frustrating game. At the same time it feels like those games used to happen all the time, hasn't been one for a while now.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Carlos had a dream :drool:

[Ian]

A FAMOUS VICTORY say the BBC.

[Magic]

That's the perfect bottling Scouse result. Amazing game beating the unbeaten leaders then shatting it to bottom of the table bilge with the RECORD SIGNING making the mistake that led to their goal.

:harold:

[Waffdon]

What the fuck was that? :D

[Waffdon]

Conte’s record is fucking dreadful against an awful Arsenal team.