[FOOTBALL] 2018 January Transfer Window Thread

[Jimmy Floyd]

Ashley Barnes :drool:

Marina = genius. I hope these missives are all pieces of genius PR designed to lower expectations.

[niko_cee]

:D

Doesn't he even have previous with Chelsea after nobbling someone with a horror challenge?

[Lewis]

https://s10.postimg.org/rhgvvqu89/2222222.png

lol

[Reg]

Barnes. I think that's my favourite yet. :D

Craig Mackail-Smith to Real Madrid next.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Barnes. I think that's my favourite yet. :D

Craig Mackail-Smith to Real Madrid next.

You laugh now to mask your fear, because you know Glenn Murray will be next.

[Reg]

Heh heh. The Guardian's "10 things to look out for this weekend" included Murray's 'audition' yesterday. I took it as tongue in cheek but perhaps they were serious.

[niko_cee]

Chelsea would be as well sticking Gary Cahill or David Luiz up front, if that's really the way they want to play, rather than most of these mugs they are being linked with.

What's Carlton Cole up to these days? The prodigal son returns.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Some are saying it's all a smokescreen for Edin Dzeko, but I'm not sure about that.

[The Merse]

I’m massively pissed off with Wenger, Gazidis, the players, the whole fucking lot. But, I don’t see why people are criticising this deal from an Arsenal perspective.

Had Sanchez had more than 6 months left of his contract, then fair enough, but to me we’ve signed the kind of profile of player we’d have spent £30m+ on in the summer in exchange for a guy with 6 months left, no appetite to play for the club and no intention of staying beyond the end of that contract. It’s actually as good a deal as we could have got, and if we link Mikita up with his old mate from Dortmund by sealing the Aubameyang deal then it might look an even better bit of business. Three years too late, but still decent business.

[Jimmy Floyd]

I think it's a decent deal as well but ALEXIS FOR MKHI STRAIT SWOP? HAHA LOL UNITED UNITED

Arsenal have had the better if anything as they've just written off a future transfer fee versus the difference between Sanchez and Mkhitaryan's output between now and May, which won't be that big if there even is one.

United, on the other hand, have sacrificed the fee for Mkhitaryan and massively increased their wage bill, so they'd better hope Sanchez is good.

[Waffdon]

Some are saying it's all a smokescreen for Edin Dzeko, but I'm not sure about that.

You’re getting him and the full back by sounds of it. Dzeko would suit the formation really well. The video of Totti and Dzeko yesterday confirms something’s happening.

[Jimmy Floyd]

What are they going to do with all that money, rebuild the Colosseum? Good to know we've returned to the good old days of buying people who do well against us in Europe though.

[Lewis]

It suits both teams, but 1) 'Alexis' is miles better; and 2) lol at Arsenal for letting it get to this stage.

[randomlegend]

I think it's a decent deal as well but ALEXIS FOR MKHI STRAIT SWOP? HAHA LOL UNITED UNITED

Arsenal have had the better if anything as they've just written off a future transfer fee versus the difference between Sanchez and Mkhitaryan's output between now and May, which won't be that big if there even is one.

United, on the other hand, have sacrificed the fee for Mkhitaryan and massively increased their wage bill, so they'd better hope Sanchez is good.

We just got a new tractor sponsor mate, the money is irrelevant.

[Baz]

What are they going to do with all that money, rebuild the Colosseum? Good to know we've returned to the good old days of buying people who do well against us in Europe though.If he turns out to be as good as Drogba... :drool:

[The Merse]

It suits both teams, but 1) 'Alexis' is miles better; and 2) lol at Arsenal for letting it get to this stage.

Point 2 applies to just about everything about the club for some time. I’m of a mind to say that many of us (I’m one of the worst cases) were pious apologists of Wengerism for so long only has only exacerbated it. But on further reflection I don’t think it makes a blind bit of difference and instead only serves to make us the fans look as big a bunch of pricks as we’ve always accused Spuds of being.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Just seen Tammy Abraham in the car park at work. Loan recall, you heard it here first.

[SincereTheRebel]

It suits both teams, but 1) 'Alexis' is miles better; and 2) lol at Arsenal for letting it get to this stage.

This is just the first part. Ozil is in the exact same situation. It should never have got to the stage once, but it has happened twice.

[Shindig]

Just seen Tammy Abraham in the car park at work. Loan recall, you heard it here first.

Is he the guy you're interviewing?

[phonics]

This is just the first part. Ozil is in the exact same situation. It should never have got to the stage once, but it has happened twice.

He's got a player of equivalent value for Sanchez and literally no club apart from a bunch of Turks have come in for Ozil. I'm not sure what's expected of poor Arsene at this point.

[phonics]

Interesting statistical piece about 'BIG MEN' and the dwindling nature and quality of crosses in the Guardian today.

https://pbs.twimg.com/media/DUIwszPWAAEdgt3.jpg

https://www.theguardian.com/football/blog/2018/jan/21/andy-carroll-peter-crouch-chelsea-west-ham-united-stoke-city

[Jimmy Floyd]

That may be so but we have Davide Zappacosta and he delivers crosses even better than he delivers two coffees and a panini to my table in Piazza San Marco in about 15 years' time.

GPG was 2.68 at last count, that doesn't seem to really change no matter what tactical trends are in and out.

[SincereTheRebel]

He's got a player of equivalent value for Sanchez and literally no club apart from a bunch of Turks have come in for Ozil. I'm not sure what's expected of poor Arsene at this point.

And I wouldnt get too excited about those dortmund boys either. Dortmund players do not seem to do well once they leave and end up being accepted back their with open arms a few years later.

[phonics]

Arsenal haven't got between 70-75 points twice in the last 10 years (68 once and 79 once). It doesn't matter who comes in, who comes out. Nothings changing that outside of a change of manager which could go either way and is more likely to go to 68 than 79.

[Jimmy Floyd]

That's the genius of Arsene Wenger. Watch them roar past Spurs in the next three months.

[phonics]

German tabs reporting that we're going player exchange crazy.

Aubameyang's done, Giroud will join Dortmund for 6 months while they find a long term replacement and he gets to play for his World Cup spot.

[Lofty]

To put the ‘HAHA ARSENAL ARE TERRIBLE LETTING ÖZIL AND ALEXIS RUN THEIR CONTRACTS DOWN’ lulz in perspective, Mata can leave United on a free this year. He’d be worth £50m in this market I reckon?

[Lewis]

Didn't they extended his contract the other week? Not that he is worth that much.

[Jimmy Floyd]

I'd have him back tomorrow.

[phonics]

Add Mata in and that Chelsea dressing room is just far too nice. You'd let 90% of the team date your daughter at this point. 5 years ago that was unthinkable.

[Lofty]

Didn't they extended his contract the other week? Not that he is worth that much.

Rumours today Valencia are interested in him on a free this summer. He’s 29 and brings far more to a team than £20m rated Theo Walcott.

[SvN]

There's absolutely zero possibility he leaves for free this Summer. It's the entire reason why we have these 4+1 contracts.

[randomlegend]

Yeah, the club has an option to extend Mata's contract for a further year. The rumour was it was triggered the other week.

[SincereTheRebel]

The same article about mata, also put fatboy shaw with an extra year also.

[Mazuuurk]

Drogba was orders of magnitude better in the air than Crouch.

Yes I know, he was better at everything. Crouch has never been very good at heading the ball, but just by being so fucking tall he will reach these really tall dipping crosses that perhaps others could not. And it would have just been interesting to see how many goals a player like that would score if they were in a top team that basically just tried to do crossing and crossing only.

[phonics]

Peter Crouch's jumping height is lower than both Drogba and Girouds...

[Mazuuurk]

Read this:


Burnley's English forward Ashley Barnes, 28, is now a target for Blues boss Antonio Conte in his search for a new frontman.


Dunno if true obviously but what the fuck seems to be the obsession from Chelsea in buying a mediocre English striker? :cab:

[Mazuuurk]

Peter Crouch's jumping height is lower than both Drogba and Girouds...

Is it? The guys is a fucking lighthouse, he doesn't have to jump that high.


Of course he's not as good as Henrik Larsson was who could stay mid-air for a few seconds and wait for the ball, because he knew how the Matrix worked or something.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Dunno if true obviously but what the fuck seems to be the obsession from Chelsea in buying a mediocre English striker? :cab:

Need a physical striker, need homegrown players, and the cross-section in that Venn diagram is this list of mugs.

They're all significantly better than Batshuayi anyway tbh.

[phonics]

Is it? The guys is a fucking lighthouse, he doesn't have to jump that high.

I believe the old stat was that Peter Crouch standing up straight is taller than Peter Crouch jumping for the ball because of how he has to arc his body to get lift.

[Jimmy Floyd]

He never really powers a header, does he? Just sort of deflects it in the direction he wants.

[phonics]

La Liga (note not the clubs) have just signed 9 Saudi's and will be distributing them to the clubs in the league.

This is DEFINITELY NOT CORRUPT. There are DEFINITELY NO PAYMENTS tied to this. This is COMPLETELY DIFFERENT to them getting annoyed about Qatar stealing Neymar.

[Lewis]

Speaking of bent Arabs, we missed a blinding article (https://medium.com/@NcGeehan/the-men-behind-man-city-a-documentary-not-coming-soon-to-a-cinema-near-you-14bc8e393e06) on City last month.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Pay drivers finally come to football. Usain Bolt will play for United next.

[SincereTheRebel]

Qatar and Saudi Arabia are two separate countries separated by a border lad.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Schooled by Sincere.

Poor Lolwis.

[randomlegend]

955500480582500353

What a shit announcement video :D

[SvN]

I'm genuinely pissing myself with laughter at that video.

[phonics]

Pogba got Stormzy. Alexis brings Chopsticks with a synth pedal.

[randomlegend]

https://i.imgur.com/Lv4sq2X.jpg

And the picture. Christ alive. He looks retarded.

[Jimmy Floyd]

That is like some third world car advert from 20 years ago.

[phonics]

We made a gif of him tapping the badge and got some belting quotes.

955502180743761922

lol as if

[randomlegend]

He was actually an Arsenal fan as a kid wasn't he?

EDIT: https://www.uefa.com/memberassociations/news/newsid=832354.html

Not a kid, but still.

[Jimmy Floyd]

I don't think I want anything more than for 'Alexis' to be a Torres-style failure.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

955500480582500353

What a shit announcement video :D

:D

[Kikó]

That's a cracking video. It's what football is all about imo, sends shivers down the spine.

It's a pretty top signing as well. He's obviously brilliant and performs at a higher level than the Armenian.

[Lewis]

They should make a 'Welcome to Manchester' poster and have Ian Brown interview him.

[Magic]

Jesus Christ that is poison. To think some phonicsesque cunt probably got paid millions to make that makes me sick.

[Giggles]

955502555525599233

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Jesus Christ that is poison. To think some phonicsesque cunt probably got paid millions to make that makes me sick.

At least it wasn't the actual cunt himself who made any money.

[The Merse]

Speaking of bent Arabs, we missed a blinding article (https://medium.com/@NcGeehan/the-men-behind-man-city-a-documentary-not-coming-soon-to-a-cinema-near-you-14bc8e393e06) on City last month.

Shared that with a citeh supporting mate a little while back. You have to acknowledge there are cunts abound in football, but these lot are amongst the worst and it’s the most well articulated article with any degree of brevity that I’ve seen on the subject.

[SincereTheRebel]

Jose has got quite a few high profile names wrong in the past. Lukaku, KDB, etc. He isn't going to be wrong on this one. Taz just isn't clinical enough. He isn't a match winner. He needs to take himself to another level. If he somehow finds his dortmund form, it is still a backwards step from sanchez.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Jose has got quite a few high profile names wrong in the past. Lukaku, KDB, etc. He isn't going to be wrong on this one. Taz just isn't clinical enough. He isn't a match winner. He needs to take himself to another level. If he somehow finds his dortmund form, it is still a backwards step from sanchez.

lol.

[randomlegend]

He means that Mkhitaryan is a backwards step from Sanchez for Arsenal. Which he is.
Sir Andy Mahowry

[Lewis]

Get some new glasses Monghow.

[SincereTheRebel]

From my perspective, Taz is a worse replacement for the soon to depart Ozil. The replacement for Sanchez has yet to arrive.

[Kikó]

Speaking of bent Arabs, we missed a blinding article (https://medium.com/@NcGeehan/the-men-behind-man-city-a-documentary-not-coming-soon-to-a-cinema-near-you-14bc8e393e06) on City last month.

He's nailed it. Surprisingly, someone like David Conn doesn't seem to care.

There's no interest in covering the story really. Proper journalists don't become football journalists and this is a bit too current affairs to bother with. It might stop you getting the next puff piece with Sergio or Pep.

[Pleb]

From my perspective, Taz is a worse replacement for the soon to depart Ozil. The replacement for Sanchez has yet to arrive.

You mean this one right? (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Henrikh_Mkhitaryan)

[Mazuuurk]

Why are you calling Miki targaryen "Taz", Sincere?

[Danny]

Saying he looks like him.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

He means that Mkhitaryan is a backwards step from Sanchez for Arsenal. Which he is.
Sir Andy Mahowry

Fuck off and have a magnesium bath you prick.

[randomlegend]

:cab:

It's getting a bit weird now.

[Pleb]

Mkhitaryan will probably now have a huge form spike which results in everyone including TTH comparing him to Henry or Vieira if I need to be controversial.

[Reg]

That video's kind of great in a terrible way. But they should have used a real recording of that chant rather than having it sound like something you'd hear opening a club themed birthday card.

[Pleb]

Nothing will top that shitfest that was Tevez to Man City with a title parade thrown in just for lols.

[Lewis]

He's nailed it. Surprisingly, someone like David Conn doesn't seem to care.

There's no interest in covering the story really. Proper journalists don't become football journalists and this is a bit too current affairs to bother with. It might stop you getting the next puff piece with Sergio or Pep.

Nick Cohen raised it in the Guardian and he just had a load of people calling him a bitter rag.

[Raoul Duke]

Nicked off Reddit: Sanchez & Mkhytaryn:

https://i.imgur.com/jgQVJAg.jpg

:D

[randomlegend]

Already starting to come out that the £500,000 a week wages were nonsense. He's apparently on the same as Pogba.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

He accepted less because of Lingard.

955521470591045633

The opportunity to milly rock with the mandem was too great to pass up.

[Lewis]

Would love to Milly Rock with the Mandem.

[Baz]

Same.

[Lofty]

Already starting to come out that the £500,000 a week wages were nonsense. He's apparently on the same as Pogba.

Read an article that clarified he is on £500,000 after tax if you include image rights and bonuses, which sounds more realistic (in this crazy world). He could argue for a lot more money in his position given his hand was strengthened by his contract position and compared to Ibra, Pogba and Lukaku he has the advantage of not being too old (Ibra) but proven calibre at the highest level for many seasons so less paying for ‘potential’ (Lukaku/Pogba).

[phonics]

Lol the reason why Henrik (it's what I'm going with until I can spell his name) didn't get a fancy signing video is because when it went up you can hear an audible cut of him saying 'So Pierre, when are you joining me?' or something so they had to delete it until the deals done.

[Giggles]

955753354008891392

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Lol the reason why Henrik (it's what I'm going with until I can spell his name) didn't get a fancy signing video is because when it went up you can hear an audible cut of him saying 'So Pierre, when are you joining me?' or something so they had to delete it until the deals done.

Henrikh, mate.

[phonics]

HM it is.

[Weaver]

David NGog has been reunited with Owen Coyle... at Ross County.

Some career he’s had - 45 career club goals since his career started in 2006.

[phonics]

A weeks after the announcement of Schalke's Goretzka. Former Dortmund captain, Matts Hummels has come out slagging off the Bundesliga for not having any good teams apart from Bayern. Wonder why that is?

[phonics]

Sturridge to Inter is ON apparently.

Icardi to move on in the summer?

[Gray Fox]

They can have Sturridge if we can have Icardi and give them some money.

[phonics]

Considering the only mooted reason he wants to leave is to win things and stop being the 4th/5th best team in the league...

I doubt it. Icardi to Real when they realise Daniel Levy is a tedious man to deal with is my bet.

[Gray Fox]

Stop saying things that make sense!

To be fair we need in other areas way before another forward.

[Mazuuurk]

What you need is a Playmaking, Creative midfielder who can unlock tight defences such as Swanseas last night with feats of sheer brilliance when all else fails.

You should look to Barcelona really, they have one who is perfectly suited for your team in that way.

[Gray Fox]

Iniesta is a bit old for me.

It's alright. Coutinho will be back from his injury soon. I'm so glad we didn't sell him without replacing him because that would have been really fucking stupid.

[Jimmy Floyd]

You have Kader Keita in the summer, right? And Ben Woodburn.

[phonics]

Remember when everyone said Jon Flanagan was world class? lol.

[randomlegend]

You're never going to be world class with a name like Flanagan, it's impossible.

[phonics]

I've said this before but I'll say it again. I do think my name held me back from ever being a professional footballer. You just can't hear Martin Tyler say it without sounding weird.

[Jimmy Floyd]

What names do English people need to have to be world class? Peter Guthrie? Alan Stevens?

Brian Baxter?

[Mazuuurk]

Harry Kane. Have you heard a Spanish commentator say it?

It sounds like they are shouting a Hurricane warning every time he scores.

[phonics]

What names do English people need to have to be world class? Peter Guthrie? Alan Stevens?

Brian Baxter?

Dixie Dean is a world class name.

[phonics]

https://pbs.twimg.com/media/DUPFC8UWAAAGjZP.jpg:large

TRANSFER WINDOW WINNERS

[Jimmy Floyd]

As it's grown longer since United won a title, so the United fanbase has become more and more touchy about things. They wouldn't have needed to count retweets when Alex Ferguson was there. We just took it all for granted.

[-james-]

Maybe I'm remembering wrong, but I always thought Jon Flanagan was pretty good. I'd forgotten he existed, and was quite surprised to see he was still at Liverpool. He's basically made for Burnley or someone. Klopp probably shudders in disgust at the sight of him in training.

[Jimmy Floyd]

I reckon they'll finally get a league win in the next two years.

Firmino
Sané - Keita - Salah
----
Robertson - Virgil - Gomez - TA-A

Just need to sort the midfield out and maybe upgrade Firmino (and have depth in those forward positions).

[Mazuuurk]

Doubt Sane will move there to be honest.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Not Leroy. His brother, Madio.

[Reg]

If they get Alisson they'll have a good chance.

[Lewis]

They won't.

[niko_cee]

Flanagan was decent until he got injured for ages and the came back as a wife beater.

Floyd's theory is good, but overlooks the fact that they'll probably lose key players in the next 24 months and so it's a constant cycle of trying to find someone as surprisingly good as Salah has been (watch his season go off the cliff now, mind) which is almost impossible. Unless THE SYSTEM takes over.

[SvN]

If Salah continues his current form for say, another season, you've got to fancy him to move on.

[The Merse]

I remember when we were always a keeper and a midfielder away from winning the league...

[phonics]

Arsene hasn't conceded the title yet. There's still time.

[Gray Fox]

Firmino is an odd one. His play in the build up and linking it all together is fantastic, however he doesn't score enough for me. As evidenced by last night. A more clinical finisher smashes that header in late.

I'd like to see how Firmino would take to the attacking midfielder role.

[Gray Fox]

Phil Neville is the new head coach of England Women.

[Jimmy Floyd]

The Class of 92, Day of the Triffids style takeover of the English football establishment continues. Gary Neville may be the front man, but I reckon Nicky Butt really pulls the strings.

[Magic]

Hoping for some decent allegations against him.

[phonics]

He's already been deleting tweets today saying women should be in the kitchen/looking after kids.

[Magic]

He's deleted his account apparently. The FA really are thick.

[Foe]

David N'gog signs :cool:

[phonics]

How do you not do a basic advanced search for 'sexist'

https://i.imgur.com/g1875Wd.png

lol.

[Mazuuurk]

Err, Lass Diarra just signed for PSG.

Which must mean he's still alive, which is the weirdest bit in that.

[Raoul Duke]

The Class of 92, Day of the Triffids style takeover of the English football establishment continues. Gary Neville may be the front man, but I reckon Nicky Butt really pulls the strings.

https://www.theguardian.com/football/ng-interactive/2018/jan/23/david-squires-on-ryan-giggs-phil-neville-and-the-class-of-92s-expanding-empire

[Jimmy Floyd]

https://www.theguardian.com/football/ng-interactive/2018/jan/23/david-squires-on-ryan-giggs-phil-neville-and-the-class-of-92s-expanding-empire

He's nabbed about three TTH gags in that one. Maybe we should make him pay for the server.

[randomlegend]

Man City are apparently signing Aymeric Laporte.

[Gray Fox]

Spending the "Sanchez money" a lot more wisely than on Sanchez.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

65m Euros apparently.

They love spending big on defenders.

[niko_cee]

And goalkeepers, and midfielders, and attackers.

[Lewis]

Working on the basis that Nicolas Otamendi is their most capable defender, either John Stones goes to the bench or this other bloke does. Either way, why?

[Shindig]

Kenedy's arriving, apparently. Like, after months of protracted buildup. Hopefully we get Jorgensen sealed as well. Someone. Anyone.

[Andy]

Working on the basis that Nicolas Otamendi is their most capable defender, either John Stones goes to the bench or this other bloke does. Either way, why?

Pep wants them to play 352. It's only the Mendy injury which forced them to play with a back four.

[Mazuuurk]

Why change what they are doing right now though? :cab:

[Reg]

Pep wants them to play 352. It's only the Mendy injury which forced them to play with a back four.
I can't believe he would switch back with the form of Sterling and Sane.

[Andy]

Why change what they are doing right now though? :cab:

You've got to constantly evolve to stay at the top and be the best.

[Andy]

I can't believe he would switch back with the form of Sterling and Sane.

This is true, they could play 343 but that would mean either Silva or Kdb dropping out which is very unlikely.

With a third centre back it just gives them more options and a bit more squad dspth. They struggled over Christmas and they will again if they keep progressing in the Champions League.

Stones played a lot in pre season as a holding midfielder so perhaps Pep sees it as strengthening two positions.

[phonics]

I was reading this 'Where Are They Now' on the Guardians 'Top English Talent of 2008' article that I'm 90% sure we discussed on the old forum.


http://www.planetfootball.com/quick-reads/revisiting-20-future-england-stars-picked-guardian-2008/


It's incredible how many of these players story ends with 'Moved to Tottenham/Chelsea for lots of money at the time, went out on loan for years, now they're playing in League One'

[SvN]

Wasn't John McEachran the original FEC?

[Jimmy Floyd]

That was John Curtis, iirc.

Josh McEachran got his dick wet with some model/pop star or something at about 19 and never recovered. I am enjoying the progress of his younger brother (under 17 World Cup winner) George through our setup though.

https://sortitoutsi.net/file/image/27609

[Magic]

Hilarious about Woods and Taiwoo pair of cunts.

I'd say none of them really failed that much apart from that idiot Jose Baxter who just seems like a massive fuckwit. Was Nile Ranger every really rated at all?

[Mazuuurk]

You've got to constantly evolve to stay at the top and be the best.

Yeah alright, but I'm not sure if that means you have to change formation.

In fact, as far as I know Guardiola really hasn't changed much about the way he wants his teams to play since he got started at Barcelona, and it's all been working well enough all this time.


I dunno, playing a 3-5-2 would likely put Sane as a wing back (!?) or on the Bench, and Sterling as a Striker, or on the Bench (if Jesus is fit), and that just seems odd to me.

And like you said, 3-4-3 would leave either Silva or KDB out of midfield, and I don't think they would function as well as central midfielders without each other either as it would be a bit harder to keep the ball (even for them).


So all in all chaning things up doesn't make sense at all. Getting a new CB in for the long run, I don't see why not do that, as their Central defenders are probably the worst part of the team.

[phonics]

Yeah alright, but I'm not sure if that means you have to change formation.

In fact, as far as I know Guardiola really hasn't changed much about the way he wants his teams to play since he got started at Barcelona, and it's all been working well enough all this time.


I dunno, playing a 3-5-2 would likely put Sane as a wing back (!?) or on the Bench, and Sterling as a Striker, or on the Bench (if Jesus is fit), and that just seems odd to me.

And like you said, 3-4-3 would leave either Silva or KDB out of midfield, and I don't think they would function as well as central midfielders without each other either as it would be a bit harder to keep the ball (even for them).


So all in all chaning things up doesn't make sense at all. Getting a new CB in for the long run, I don't see why not do that, as their Central defenders are probably the worst part of the team.

He played 3 at the back all the time at Bayern.

[Mazuuurk]

He played 3 at the back all the time at Bayern.

I didn't mean the formation, I meant his mentality. Just in general, Guardiola doesn't strike me as the type of manager who completely adapts his play a lot, he just tries to perfect the one thing he wants his team to do (pass around). Mourinho is sort of the opposite.

[phonics]

I think it's quite the opposite. He adapts pretty much every match. It's the one thing all his players say, how much he concentrates on the opposition and how to exploit the spaces they leave.

[Andy]

Yeah alright, but I'm not sure if that means you have to change formation.

In fact, as far as I know Guardiola really hasn't changed much about the way he wants his teams to play since he got started at Barcelona, and it's all been working well enough all this time.


I dunno, playing a 3-5-2 would likely put Sane as a wing back (!?) or on the Bench, and Sterling as a Striker, or on the Bench (if Jesus is fit), and that just seems odd to me.

And like you said, 3-4-3 would leave either Silva or KDB out of midfield, and I don't think they would function as well as central midfielders without each other either as it would be a bit harder to keep the ball (even for them).


So all in all chaning things up doesn't make sense at all. Getting a new CB in for the long run, I don't see why not do that, as their Central defenders are probably the worst part of the team.

He started the season 352 until Mendy got Injured. I think because he wanted two up front, the form of Sterling and Sane will probably change his thinking though. You can't bench those two at the moment.

[phonics]

Southampton have signed a striker called Guido Carrillo who I've never heard of but plays for Monaco at a cost of 20m.

[SvN]

About time they signed a striker. If he's any good, it might save them from going down.

*checks Wikipedia page*

Nah, they're fucked.

[phonics]

TBF, everyone said the same when Gabbiadini came in this time last year and he beasted it for a month or two.

[phonics]

https://pbs.twimg.com/media/DUT_3KOXcAAnba9.jpg:large

United might have their Noodle sponsorships but do they have BLOCKCHAIN?

[Mazuuurk]

He started the season 352 until Mendy got Injured. I think because he wanted two up front, the form of Sterling and Sane will probably change his thinking though. You can't bench those two at the moment.


Yeah well, that's what I was saying - why change anything right now?

[randomlegend]

https://pbs.twimg.com/media/DUT_3KOXcAAnba9.jpg:large

United might have their Noodle sponsorships but do they have BLOCKCHAIN?


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KE_jypWSGWY&feature=youtu.be

You can shove your blockchain mate.

[phonics]

What's the people who murder the Rohingya's got to do with this? Do they run them over with the tractors?

[Jimmy Floyd]

I was thinking, you need tractors to harvest the wheat that feeds the chickens who, in turn, lay the eggs for noodles. It's a clever, clever strategy by perhaps the world's foremost business mind, Ed Woodward.

[Disco]

#SomehowAboutTractors

Getting started on the new job already?

[niko_cee]

What's the deal with Joao Mario at Inter? I thought he was supposed to be the tits (SaintNews)? Is he a holding midfielder or more or a run-abouter? Or is he just shit?

[phonics]

lol at how much ElNeny hates Sanchez.

There was this one in December.

947111775866114049

and now

956561273646469120

[SincereTheRebel]

How is the second one aimed at alexis?

[John]

The first one is a bit of a dig at Chile not qualifying for the world cup but it seems more like something you'd say to a mate who was missing out than to someone you really disliked.

It would certainly be a turn up for an Egyptian footballer to have a pop at someone for being a mercenary twat.

[Spikey M]

How is it not?

[Mazuuurk]

How is the second one aimed at alexis?

He's suggesting that "before" some players were not fighting enough or being motivated enough. Whether that was just Sanchez himself or if it was the whole team because of Sanchez, I doubt he means Coquelin.

[SincereTheRebel]

He's suggesting that "before" some players were not fighting enough or being motivated enough. Whether that was just Sanchez himself or if it was the whole team because of Sanchez, I doubt he means Coquelin.

Yeah. I can see what he means now.

[phonics]

I caught a line today that I thought would warm Jimmy's cockles.


he manager is ‘particularly unhappy’ with the way Granovskaia, one of owner Roman Abramovich’s most-trusted aides, handled two particular transfer negotiations.Conte is thought to have identified Leonardo Bonucci and Fernando Llorente as his main targets last summer, but neither were delivered.

Former technical director Michael Emenalo previously acted as ‘a buffer’ between the two, but that role now belongs to Cudicini. The former keeper is an ‘unusual figure’ at Stamford Bridge, Hughes writes, because ‘he is almost universally popular’.

[Jimmy Floyd]

I still think Cech should have waited his turn in 2004.

[-james-]

Llorente. :cab:

[SincereTheRebel]

Pastore has rejected a chance to sign for liverpool and llucas moura is touring the spurs training ground allegedly.

[Kikó]

What's the deal with Joao Mario at Inter? I thought he was supposed to be the tits (SaintNews)? Is he a holding midfielder or more or a run-abouter? Or is he just shit?

He's high energy breaker upper. Can't score but gives everything so probably be a good player for West Ham. I think he was starting to drop out of Spalletti's plans so he move names sense.

[Mazuuurk]

Moura I can sort of get as a squad player for Spurs, because they do have quite little depth.

But really, what are Liverpool and Spurs doing sniffing around fucking League UUHN rejects?

[Jimmy Floyd]

Market value, PSG desperately need to sell.

[Mazuuurk]

Why, it's not as if they would be making a profit on those players anyway?
Maybe it's like how my lady feels she needs to buy shit just because it's on sale sometimes.

"Do you need new shoes?"
"No not at all but look, these are HALF OFF!"

[Jimmy Floyd]

They need to dump their salary (and even on a footballing level, who wants highly paid wasters mooching around the training ground if they're not going to play).

[Lewis]

Chelsea should bring Peter Kenyon back now that Ed Woodward is all the rage.

[Andy]

They can have Les Reed.

[Jimmy Floyd]

We've got Marina who is not only a transfer genius but also an empowered woman (and her predecessor was a black man). Manchester United is just a parade of old, white men.

[Lewis]

'Yeah? How many Twitter followers you got?'

[Jimmy Floyd]

We overtook Arsenal at one point, but they're now 1.3 million ahead of us again. We've won the league in that time, so rather than glory-hunting the modern attraction must be narrative-hunting.

[phonics]

I love that Wenger makes a comment about 'You praise clubs that haven't won anything in 25 years' and the press immediately runs to Pochettino to say, 'Did you hear Arsene Wenger say you're shit?'

[Mazuuurk]

They need to dump their salary (and even on a footballing level, who wants highly paid wasters mooching around the training ground if they're not going to play).

I get that PSG wants to get rid, I just don't get why anyone like Liverpool or Spurs would want to buy those players.

Someone like West Ham or West Brom might want them.

[phonics]

You link yourself with Spurs and Liverpool to get the West Ham/West Broms interested.

[Mazuuurk]

Makes sense.

[SincereTheRebel]

I love that Wenger makes a comment about 'You praise clubs that haven't won anything in 25 years' and the press immediately runs to Pochettino to say, 'Did you hear Arsene Wenger say you're shit?'

Speaking of trophies, i was under the impression that coutinhio won trophies at liverpool. Wiki claims he left trophyless since 2012. I didn't realise that at all. That means the old SAS were trophyless too if its correct.

[Jimmy Floyd]

I get that PSG wants to get rid, I just don't get why anyone like Liverpool or Spurs would want to buy those players.

Someone like West Ham or West Brom might want them.

Sure, but the fact that PSG want rid means their market value is less than it would otherwise be so, logically, it's a good time to pick them up.

It's kind of like seeing biscuits on offer in the supermarket. There's a price point at which biscuits, even if you don't need them as such, become a good investment.

[randomlegend]

The fact Lucas Moura is struggling to get games ahead of Neymar, Mbappe, Di Maria, Draxler etc. doesn't make him shit. He's still a good player.

[phonics]

No, I think the fact that he wasn't doing a fat lot before any of those players arrived might be the better indicator.

[Baz]

He’s got potential though (despite already being 25).

[John]

He's bonkers fast and not much else, he's basically Walcott with a worse hairline. He reminds me of Poot.

[Mazuuurk]

Sure, but the fact that PSG want rid means their market value is less than it would otherwise be so, logically, it's a good time to pick them up.

It's kind of like seeing biscuits on offer in the supermarket. There's a price point at which biscuits, even if you don't need them as such, become a good investment.

Not if you're only going to realistically play them in the Cups and 5-10 league games per season for two years. No way you sell them with a profit after that (and after they've aged another 2 years and wasted the last ounce of what their potential might have been if any was still there).

Basically, it's like buying those biscuits because it was a good deal and then never eating them, so you throw them away when they've gone bad and what was the point in the first place?

[John]

Lucas will see plenty of game time for Spurs, and Pastore would see plenty of game time for Liverpool or whoever else he signs for.

[Disco]

Especially when Salah moves on next summer.

[Baz]

Especially when Salah moves on next summer.For £230m :drool:

[Lewis]

If Southampton go down who will get the best part of that? Watford?

[Jimmy Floyd]

Dortmund reserves I suspect.

I've decided I want David Wagner at Chelsea when the hairpiece goes. Failing that, Mark Hughes for the lulz.

[Lewis]

If ever there was someone set up to fall foul of everything at Chelsea then it is that nerd.

[phonics]

David Wagner will refer to himself in the third person in public at some point.

[phonics]

Aubameyang is done without Giroud.

While Giroud has been linked to Chelsea for 35m. I couldn't watch him in a Chelsea shirt :(

[Jimmy Floyd]

Seems like we're doing a triangular on it. Aubameyang to Arsenal, Giroud to Chelsea and Batshuayi to Dortmund.

A triptych on the theme of desperation.

[phonics]

Giroud would be such an excellent signing for you I can't believe we're even considering it.

[John]

That would be a healthy profit on Giroud. They must have paid less than half that for him.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Giroud would be such an excellent signing for you I can't believe we're even considering it.

We gave you Cech for buttons because Abramovich was on a dopamine hit or something, these things work in mysterious ways.

[phonics]

We gave you Cech for buttons because Abramovich was on a dopamine hit or something, these things work in mysterious ways.

Yeah, Agent Cech. Cheers. Not sure he's won us 15 points in 4 years let alone per season. Although when the alternative answer is David Ospina, you have to ask yourself what the question is.

[SincereTheRebel]

Giroud is the only somewhat consistent goal scorer arsenal have. I dont know if giroud want to leave for lack of first team football but him leaving arsenal as backup to chelsea as backup sounds not that good.

[-james-]

Charly Musonda to Celtic on an 18 month loan.

He'll be primed and ready to slot right into the first team setup when he returns, at the start of the 19/20 season, at age 23, after a year and a half in the SPL.

[John]

That's annoying. He'll piss the SPL.

[phonics]

A Chelsea academy player playing in the first team, good one m8.

[Reg]

We've got Ulloa on loan. Fantastic news. Sad times for Baldock though.

[SincereTheRebel]

Newcastle have made an enquiry about sturridge on a loan deal according to SSN

[John]

A Chelsea academy player playing in the first team, good one m8.

Andreas Christensen has been a pretty solid presence in the first team this season.

[phonics]

Only because the centre back they paid 40 million quid for is a joke.

[-james-]

A Chelsea academy player playing in the first team, good one m8.

https://farm3.staticflickr.com/2112/2350197149_4a2f82e6a5_z.jpg

[Jimmy Floyd]

Charly Musonda to Celtic on an 18 month loan.

He'll be primed and ready to slot right into the first team setup when he returns, at the start of the 19/20 season, at age 23, after a year and a half in the SPL.

Under new manager Brendan Rodgers.

[Kikó]

https://farm3.staticflickr.com/2112/2350197149_4a2f82e6a5_z.jpg

Joe Cole?

[Disco]

That's where they grow Contes hairpiece.

[phonics]

Sturridge to West Brom on loan.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Not quite the San Siro, is it.

He'll be 29 this year, what a waste. 55 games/17 goals in the last four seasons.

[phonics]

To be fair, I can sort of understand turning down the Milan clubs. What's the point of moving to Italy for 6 months to sit behind Mauro Icardi or Pannetone or whatever the Milan one is called.

May as well do the same and move up the road.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

I'd rather live in Italy for 6 months than West Brom.

[Kikó]

Probably wetter in Milan though so it's for the best.

[phonics]

Milan is a crap city for garbage people.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

And yet it's still better than the Midlands.

[Lofty]

It’s better for family reasons apparently so he’s still nuts I bet.

[Magic]

There's nothing wrong with the Midlands.

[Lewis]

West Brom are going to ride that fitness advantage all the way to safety. :drool:

[Pepe]

:harold:

[Mike]

Isn’t he from the midlands?

[Baz]

Yeah he already lives in Birmingham doesn’t he? Same as Troy Deeney, which is why he’s often linked with West Brom.

[phonics]

Lucas Moura to Spurs is done. He's better than Moussa Sissoko I guess?

[Giggles]

Lucas Moura to Spurs is done. He's better than Moussa Sissoko I guess?

I'm better than Moussa Sissiko.

[John]

Laporte has bought out his contract with Bilbao. I reckon he'll be a cracking signing.

[Jimmy Floyd]

It's hard to see how United will be able to get the title out of City's grasp in the foreseeable. Under Mourinho they'll just always have more of those shitty draws than a well-peopled Pep side will. Add to that nobody will want to hear him moaning about City spending 50 million on defenders for the next four seasons (plus United actually spend bigger on individuals), so I predict a classic third season MELTDOWN.

[Raoul Duke]

Are Arsenal going to play 4-4-2 then?

[Jimmy Floyd]

They really need to sign a big black wardrobe with a 60 inch neck for their midfield. It's hopelessly lightweight at the moment.

[Magic]

It's hard to see how United will be able to get the title out of City's grasp in the foreseeable. Under Mourinho they'll just always have more of those shitty draws than a well-peopled Pep side will. Add to that nobody will want to hear him moaning about City spending 50 million on defenders for the next four seasons (plus United actually spend bigger on individuals), so I predict a classic third season MELTDOWN.

Let's hope so because they're starting to look accomplished.

[Mazuuurk]

Are Arsenal going to play 4-4-2 then?

Seems like the only logical thing to do for them to me. Basically how Barcelona seem to be playing at the moment with Countinho and Iniesta on the "wings" (thats how the preview team looks anyway but honestly I don't quite understand the formation when looking at it).

Which, with when you're not Barca in La Liga and have Ozil the Ogre and Micki the Machine bombing up and down the wings and prioritizing defence will be a true stroke of genius in the PL.

[Shindig]

Man, we are so fucked. We really needed those imaginary Chinese and Arab investors to save us.

[Baz]

Aubemayang to Arsenal
But only if Dortmund can have Batshuayi
Who can only go there if Chelsea can have Giroud

Very strange transfer(s).

[Giggles]

Everybody, or nobody, wins.

[Raoul Duke]

Agents win

[Jimmy Floyd]

Here we see the mercurial genius of Marina sticking out press releases about Ashley Barnes. £15 million for jee-roo now feels like deal of the century.

It was probably like that thing Tyrion does in Game of Thrones. Give various journos the names of shit beanpole strikers and see which ones end up in the paper.

[Giggles]

Chelsea need to get a taxi down to pick up Lucas Moura.

[phonics]

958110718343163904

So good.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Why has Conte got such a raging hard on for Llorente?

[John]

He signed him at Juventus and didn't play him, maybe Llorente is just a really lovely man.

[Davgooner]

It's fucking piss-your-pants exciting, this.

[Jimmy Floyd]

He signed him at Juventus and didn't play him, maybe Llorente is just a really lovely man.

There's no doubting his gorgeous come-to-bed eyes, but then we also signed Ross Barkley so that can't be the answer.

One way or the other we're set for some thrilling transfer action in the next 48 hours.

[Mazuuurk]

Aubameyang in for Giroud out doesn't feel 100% to me. Aubameyang is probably the better striker, but who knows how he'll do in the PL and for Arsenal (Dortmund play quite differently with more space to run on), and he essentially seems quite similar to Lacazette who has still been doing pretty decently IMO, but would probably suck on the wing.

So all in all it takes you as a team from having two distinctly different options up front - Pace or Power really, two two very similar options - Pace or maybe More Pace.

Now getting a completely class player in is always good I guess, but it sort of seems a bit like Arsenal just got rid of the biggest disturbance in the dressing room only to potentially risk another one straight after by A) bringing in a bit of a joker and B) creating competition for spots.

[phonics]

Don't go to Chelsea Olivier. They won't love you like I do.

[Jimmy Floyd]

If you want Pierre it's actually in your interests to say to Giroud now go on go, walk out the door, just turn around now cos you're not welcome anymore. At a cut price, too.

[Mazuuurk]

Alright Gloria.

[John]

Lacazette played off the wing for years for Lyon and did very well. The pace and position were the main things fueling the four years of Henry comparisons.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Aubameyang
Lacazette - Micky - Wenger
Wilshere - Xhaka
Monreal - Mustafi - Koscielny- Hector

Obviously Arsene won't actually field himself as an Egil Olsen-style wide target man, but I can't think at the moment who else they have as attackers.

[SincereTheRebel]

You have to be a special talent to score goals consistently from season-to-season. Pierre to arsenal smells a little bit like torres to chelsea. Pierre is just about to reach his expatriation date.

Arsenal have played multiple formations this season and it appears they clearly do not know which one is best suited to them.

[phonics]

Aubameyang
Lacazette - Micky - Wenger
Wilshere - Xhaka
Monreal - Mustafi - Koscielny- Hector

Obviously Arsene won't actually field himself as an Egil Olsen-style wide target man, but I can't think at the moment who else they have as attackers.

I've heard there's some German bloke hanging around called Mezut.