Christmas 2017

[Lewis]

It seems to have become a New Board tradition that I start these (http://www.thethirdhalf.co.uk/showthread.php?446-Christmas-2015) things (http://www.thethirdhalf.co.uk/showthread.php?1357-Christmas-2016), so here we go again. What miserable shit has everybody got planned this time round? I was going to buy a Festive Bake today but it was £1.50 so fuck them. I went for a McFlurry - with double the Crunchie bits - instead and admired the festive, Christmas tree-topped anti-terrorism blocks.


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VmSRcOUmLK8

P.S. Die Hard is not a Christmas film.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Die Hard most definitely is.

Only Christmas thing I've tried so far this year is McDonalds Beef and Cheese burger. I don't know how they managed to fuck up a cheese sauce, it's one of the worst things they've done.

[Pepe]

The only thing I care for is: are we doing a WDYTOE?

[Baz]

I’ve nothing new to say since the last WDYTOE (http://www.thethirdhalf.co.uk/showthread.php?1359-Festive-WDYTOE-Spectacular&p=148882&viewfull=1#post148882) so nah.

Everyone should make a point of watching Coopers Christmas Camera (http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1242777/) (not to be confused with the similarly-titled film from a couple of years ago) because it’s a cracker. If you don’t mind National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation (who doesn’t? it’s hilarious) then this is similar, if not funnier, and I wish it was more well-known so it was on ITV on Boxing Day or something.

[Spikey M]

I’m round the In Laws on Christmas Day, which is good as the mother in law does a good bit of dinner. The only down side is that they live in the arse end of nowhere so I will have to drive there and back. Oh well, my Whiskey can wait until we get home.

[Adamski]

I’m round the In Laws on Christmas Day, which is good as the mother in law does a good bit of dinner. The only down side is that they live in the arse end of nowhere so I will have to drive there and back. Oh well, my Whiskey can wait until we get home.

Whisky you cunt.

[Dave.]

I will never understand why people dislike the Christmas period. There is loads of sport on, loads of good food to be had and drinking copious amounts of alcohol is actually encouraged. Christmas is an awesome time of year.

[Spikey M]

Whisky you cunt.

I’m going to get some Jack Daniels just for that.

[Spikey M]

I will never understand why people dislike the Christmas period. There is loads of sport on, loads of good food to be had and drinking copious amounts of alcohol is actually encouraged. Christmas is an awesome time of year.

I work with a few like this. They claim it’s because it costs too much, which I would get if they only disliked the run up to Christmas. But to dislike the actual day and those that follow you’re either old and alone or you’re just determined to be a miserable cunt.

[Giggles]

Whisky you cunt.

He must prefer nice stuff rather than burnt brandy.

[McAvennie]

I really dislike the ridiculous Christmas pre-amble, but once Christmas Eve arrives I'm all for 3 days of family celebrating. Big fan of Christmas food and my wife cooks us a perfect dinner every year.
Three days of work after Christmas and then off to the inlaws in Scotland for Hogmanay and more food and booze.
Awesome fun

[Magic]

Hoping for some decent festive terror attacks.

[Spikey M]

What are you doing for Christmas Magic?

Genuine question, not a snide one.

[Giggles]

I love Christmas once it gets within a few weeks of it. This Christmas in October and November can get to fuck.

[Kikó]

We're off to Scotland for Xmas and New year to stay with the in laws. It's a nice time of year with them as they're all chilled out and interesting people compared to the shouting match it usually is at home with my nan.

We've already had the first of two Christmas work drinks , next one next Thursday then can chill out as all our contingent workforce is told not to work to save money so it'll be a ghost town from the 7th onwards.

[Giggles]

I said I'd go to my party after and really regretting it now, but they've bookedy room so I'll have to show up.

[Kikó]

Just eat all the free food like I am.

[Giggles]

Just eat all the free food like I am.

It's a fucking sit down dinner, which probably ranks as the main reason I shouldn't have bothered going.

Nights like this should be finger food only, so you can drink properly.



.

[Jimmy Floyd]

I've got the dreaded Korean Christmas do on the 7th and then after that should be a pleasant family affair. My sister and her husband are round (having got married about 6 weeks ago) so he should enjoy our family traditions which involve silly amounts of food and shit presents.

I'm back to work on the 27th too, living the dream.

[Spikey M]

I’m off from the 21st to the 2nd. :drool:

[Giggles]

I’m off from the 21st to the 2nd. :drool:

I'm back the 4th :cool:

Going to head to the folks on the 23rd and the wife is going home the same day. We'll catch up again around the 27th or 28th, probably back in our own house.



.

[Foe]

There's a significant risk I end up offshore over xmas. That would be significant bullshit, so it better not happen.

This Christmas will be pretty crap though even if I'm at home. It'll be nice to see my parents / sister but my cat died a couple of months ago and I normally spend most of my christmas days playing with him.

On the plus side, it's the best meal of the year and there's loads of snacks. Vol-au-vents :drool:

[Raoul Duke]

Just put our tree up :cool:

I've used up a bunch of holiday so have every Monday off from now until January, coupled with two weeks off at Xmas.

We're going to Belgium to see her parents, which is normally pretty good fun and loads of good food and booze.

[Shindig]

Might stay over at my folks for Christmas. I'm seeing a fair bit of them prior though so we might have nowt to talk about. Plus my old room is kinda a storage cupboard. Work's meal is the 20th which will probably be uneventful because it's happening during work hours.

[Lewis]

I've got the dreaded Korean Christmas do on the 7th and then after that should be a pleasant family affair. My sister and her husband are round (having got married about 6 weeks ago) so he should enjoy our family traditions which involve silly amounts of food and shit presents.

I'm back to work on the 27th too, living the dream.

What would you prefer: him trying to force his Jocko Christmas traditions on you, or for him to just sit talking about them for days?

[Raoul Duke]

Had a load of those 'pigs in blankets' crisps earlier. They're just smokey bacon with the volume turned up. Decent though.

[Yevrah]

To clear this up, Die Hard is a film set at Christmas time, rather than a Christmas film.

[Dark Soldier]

I'm off from the 23rd for four days, and also the 28th due to the rota, but in NYE and New Year's Day. I do fuck all for New Year anyway so give a shit,

Manly gonna be eating way too much, getting hammered on whiskey and weed, and caning the Switch.

[Giggles]

To clear this up, Die Hard is a film set at Christmas time, rather than a Christmas film.

Well that's wrong.

[Yevrah]

What makes it a Christmas film then?

[Giggles]

What makes it a Christmas film then?

Its message.

[Raoul Duke]

The Whisky Exchange's Spirit of the Year was announced the other day: https://www.thewhiskyexchange.com/feature/spiritoftheyear - I picked up their winner last year and it was great (a pineapple-infused rum).

[ScousePig]

Our Christmas play rehearsals are well under way at school. This year our play is called 'The Stars Are Coming Out For Christmas'. It's alright.

My sister's up on the weekend of the 16th so that's my home Christmas weekend, then I break up on the 22nd so we're going to my partner's mum's house on Christmas Eve. I was going to book for Barcelona but she breaks up a week before me so it's difficult to get away.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

What did your husband think of it, Raoul?

[Ian]

I'm at my sister's where there will be her family (four of them), me, our parents and no less than 6 of my brother-in-law's irritating family.

Because she doesn't have room for everybody to have a sit-down meal she's doing what she did two years ago: a massive Christmas buffet. So all the stuff you'd expect (turkey, joints of meat, pigs in blankets, yorkies, gravy, etc.) but without me having to sit and pretend I want to talk to the dickheads. I'm pretty pleased with it.

[Yevrah]

A "pineapple infused rum" would make a good accompaniment to a burger on a chopping board for 9.

[Lewis]

I bought a breakfast today for 8.5, but they let me ditch the mushroom and tomato for more sausages so my first encounter with decimal pricing bollocks was a positive one.

[Jimmy Floyd]

I strongly dislike pigs in blankets, and I've never really known why. I think it's because it feels like cheating, food wise, with two excellent foods in one 'dish' and nothing to make it shit. I like to earn my enjoyment of the nice parts of meals with tastes and textures that aren't so pleasing.

[Adamski]

You hate it because it’s good?

[Ian]

So just stuff some sprouts with cabbage and have them turn about, Jimmy.

Don't deny yourself the piggy goodness for whatever perverse reason it is you're really doing it.

[Giggles]

I strongly dislike pigs in blankets, and I've never really known why. I think it's because it feels like cheating, food wise, with two excellent foods in one 'dish' and nothing to make it shit. I like to earn my enjoyment of the nice parts of meals with tastes and textures that aren't so pleasing.

That's absolutely ridiculous.

[Raoul Duke]

I strongly dislike pigs in blankets, and I've never really known why. I think it's because it feels like cheating, food wise, with two excellent foods in one 'dish' and nothing to make it shit. I like to earn my enjoyment of the nice parts of meals with tastes and textures that aren't so pleasing.

Might be the most wrongheaded thing ever posted on this board, and Angelsaint posts here occasionally.

[Jimmy Floyd]

So just stuff some sprouts with cabbage and have them turn about, Jimmy.

Don't deny yourself the piggy goodness for whatever perverse reason it is you're really doing it.

I didn't really explain it that well. They're the kind of things Mahow or Lewis would eat ten of, whilst not having the sprouts. I need that grilled tomato on the plate to make the bacon taste better.

[Dark Soldier]

You're fucking schizo mate

[Lewis]

Nonce.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

I didn't really explain it that well. They're the kind of things Mahow or Lewis would eat ten of, whilst not having the sprouts. I need that grilled tomato on the plate to make the bacon taste better.

Mate, I'd have 10 and eat a mountain of sprouts.

I love vegetables and sprouts (when they're not overcooked) are kings.

[Danny]

Its message.

Fuck the Germans?

https://www.maxim.com/entertainment/the-argument-is-over-and-die-hard-best-christmas-movie-ever-2017-12

And to keep up with the more recent topic, Pigs in blankets are so good I introduced them to the in laws (yes, American) and I got a text two days asking how I made them as they wanted more.

[Baz]

And to keep up with the more recent topic, Pigs in blankets are so good I introduced them to the in laws (yes, American) and I got a text two days asking how I made them as they wanted more.

Are they blind?

[Magic]

Are they blind?

Lol.

[phonics]

I'm on holiday next week and back in on the 18th January :cool: I'll have forgot what a job is.

[Jimmy Floyd]

That's literally more holiday than my annual allowance.

This is another glorious 'the boss isn't in' week (remarkably she always manages to take holiday when the office socials are on, I like her style) so I've already slated my shitty colleague once for trying to be too clever on Excel, and made him change it back.

[phonics]

That's literally more holiday than my annual allowance.

This is another glorious 'the boss isn't in' week (remarkably she always manages to take holiday when the office socials are on, I like her style) so I've already slated my shitty colleague once for trying to be too clever on Excel, and made him change it back.

Think I've mentioned this before. I had holidays left from my internship where they'd have to payout if they let me go, then put me on a temp contract where they'd have to payout if they let me go, then gave me the job. Meaning I had 30 something days of holiday to take over the course of 3 months.

[Magic]

I've had 11 extra days already this year, I've still got 3 days left of my allowance and 5 months until it's renewed.

[Baz]

Is Gremlins a Christmas film?

[Shindig]

https://s3.amazonaws.com/tribeca_cms_production/uploads/article/header_marquee/52b0c9828528620cf9000003/large_Gremlins-Gizmo.png

Absolutely.

[Mike]

Second Nativity in work today, after nailing the rehearsals last week, yesterday the boy I support (he has autism) shouted to himself while the other children sang, fell over on the way to stage and sat down on stage. All on video too! His parents are in watching today’s performance.

As for other Christmas news, I have a Lego Star Wars advent calendar :cool2:
I’ve alnost finished Christmas shopping too.

[Giggles]

Why do M&S not sell vouchers online? Twats.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Because their customer base are stuck in the 1970s.

[Lewis]

I had a Festive Bake today, and it was alright. lol - lol - at Greggs having different prices to eat in or takeaway. Who do they think they are?

[Giggles]

I never seen Greggs with a sit down, unless it was a communal type thing.

[Lewis]

Come to think of it, it's probably to keep the homeless out.

[Waffdon]

They opened a pretty swish sit down Greggs in Dundee as well. Is it not open 24/7 in Newcastle/England?

[Alex]

I had a Festive Bake today, and it was alright. lol - lol - at Greggs having different prices to eat in or takeaway. Who do they think they are?

I always wonder when I go in (which is quite often, there's one right near work) and they ask me that, what would they realistically do if I said "takeaway" and then just sat down anyway. Remove me from the premises?

[Lewis]

That sounds like something you should find out on behalf of the board.

[Alex]

I'll see what I can do. I don't want to go too far and blot my copy book with the local Greggs though. I'm far too attached to the place.

[Magic]

I'll see what I can do. I don't want to go too far and blot my copy book with the local Greggs though. I'm far too attached to the place.

Go to one like 3 streets down then.

[Lewis]

No need to walk past two of them.

[Weaver]

They opened a pretty swish sit down Greggs in Dundee as well. Is it not open 24/7 in Newcastle/England?

There’s one (or more) open in the city centre 24 hours, and it’s amazing after a night out. Who wouldn’t want a pack of four sausage rolls and a gingerbread man at 3am?

[randomlegend]

I had a Festive Bake today, and it was alright. lol - lol - at Greggs having different prices to eat in or takeaway. Who do they think they are?

They have to don't they? It's a legal requirement I thought.


I always wonder when I go in (which is quite often, there's one right near work) and they ask me that, what would they realistically do if I said "takeaway" and then just sat down anyway. Remove me from the premises?

I've done it in 'Pret' a few times and they couldn't give less of a shit.

[Spikey M]

You pay some sort of Tax to eat in, it’s why all fast food places ask. It’s just that McDonalds pay the tax themselves (or spread the difference over all orders) but Greggs do it as intended.

[Giggles]

They've took the fudge bar out of the selection boxes. Pack it up lads, it's cancelled.

[Lewis]

There was one in the one I had the other day. Maybe you got a crap one.

[Spikey M]

How you made them. :D

[Pepe]

We've decided to grill some steaks for Christmas this year. :drool:

[Boydy]

Went to Sainsbury's earlier as I had to pick something up from the Argos that's not inside it. Place was fucking mental. Ugh. Fuck Christmas.

[Lewis]

My mother got me a monkey puppet. :cool:

[Magic]

M&S what a load of expensive shite their party food is. :sick:

[Mazuuurk]

"Party food" what the fuck is that.

[Spikey M]

Take a wild guess.

[Magic]

It's food that is dressed scantily and dances round the plate for attention.

[Giggles]

"Party food" what the fuck is that.

https://m.tesco.ie/mt/www.tesco.ie/groceries/product/browse/default.aspx?N=4294953197&Ne=4294954028

Epic is what it is. Epic beigeness.

My local shop is bedlam too. The arrow system had completely broken down in the carpark, as has the queueing system in the shop itself, and I'll say there'll be a row down there soon. Nothing like Christmas to bring out everyone's inner cunt.

[Jimmy Floyd]

I literally couldn't get into my local Tesco to get my lunch today. I'd have needed longer than the hour available just to park. The queue was so long in the car park and when there are no spaces (this is one of the mega size retail park Tescos) it becomes like the Wild West with people just chucking all rules of the road out the window. Three times I had to stop and wait for some cunt to do a U-turn because they were driving directly towards me.

Ended up going to the local petrol station instead.

[Lewis]

All the knobheads go out today and tomorrow thinking that it makes sense to avoid Christmas Eve, and then Christmas Eve ends up being dead for the thinking men who avoid today and tomorrow.

[-james-]

Spent the best part of half an hour getting to the front of the queue in the cheese shop, and then spent forty quid on a load of mould. Worth it.

[Kikó]

The sunset here is always gorgeous.

https://i.imgur.com/m8QJ3q6.jpg

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

I couldn't get into Waitrose as the queue for the car park was ridiculous.

Went to Sainsburys instead where I quietly seethed at the stupid woman who was dicking about having packed her shopping whilst I was waiting for the space, dickheads just stopping randomly to say hello blocking everything up and the queue length at the tills.

[Spikey M]

I’ve got to brave Tesco for the fresh stuff tomorrow. There’s a real chance of violence if I don’t sleep again tonight.

[Giggles]

I'm going to be at my Tesco at 6am for opening.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Giggles knows. Only way is to do it while the lazy twats are in bed.

[Disco]

Yup, doing all my shopping tomorrow at 8am.

[Magic]

Another moan about M&S; their shit receipt coupons and fucking old people.

"Can I use this?"
"This?"
"And this?"
"Oh I've also got.....................this too?"
"No? Why not?"

Die old cunt.

[Giggles]

Giggles knows. Only way is to do it while the lazy twats are in bed.

Yep, can never have too many complaints about somewhere being busy when you rock up along with everyone else.

Tender stem broccoli
Small smoked gammon loin
Veg stock pots
Tiger loaf
Job done.

I'll be home and back in bed by 6:45.

[Boydy]

For some reason the huge Tesco in my town isn't 24 hours but another town about 20 minutes away has a huge 24 hour Tesco and Asda. I was going to head into town tonight to get a few things before the shops close but I might just wait till about 3am and go to Asda.

[Spikey M]

We did most of ours last week. Just the stuff with a short shelf life to go. Fuck doing a proper shop the day before Christmas Eve.

Collected the Turkey and Ham from the butchers today. Queue out the door. 45 fucking minutes. Grabbed some more pork Scratching though.

[Giggles]

For some reason the huge Tesco in my town isn't 24 hours but another town about 20 minutes away has a huge 24 hour Tesco and Asda. I was going to head into town tonight to get a few things before the shops close but I might just wait till about 3am and go to Asda.

Is that Antrim? I used to always do a fortnightly shop in that Asda at around midnight on a Friday before they opened the one in Portadown.

[Lewis]

I was behind a woman in Tesco the other week whose card got rejected, so she then not only tried (and failed) to pay in euros, but tried (and failed) to argue that she was doing them a favour because the amount she was offering was worth more pounds than what the stuff cost.

[Magic]

I was behind a woman in Tesco the other week whose card got rejected, so she then not only tried (and failed) to pay in euros, but tried (and failed) to argue that she was doing them a favour because the amount she was offering was worth more pounds than what the stuff cost.

What absolute melt carries Euros around in Hull?

[Lewis]

From what I could gather it was her leftover holiday money. You can actually change foreign currency in that Tesco (it's one of the mega ones), so she should have just gone and done that rather than thinking she could reform the shop from within.

[Boydy]

Is that Antrim? I used to always do a fortnightly shop in that Asda at around midnight on a Friday before they opened the one in Portadown.

Yeah, it's a proper beast of an Asda.

[Baz]

Finished for Christmas. Can’t wait to eat myself fat over the next ten days. :drool:

My mates wife told me she had Celebrations for breakfast this morning. That’s about the right line.

[Giggles]

Yeah, it's a proper beast of an Asda.

Still the best one up there.

[Boydy]

Just been. Nice and quiet. :)

[Giggles]

I'm back and all too. Parcel Motel and a couple of Tescos. Fairly busy already, you'd be mown down by wenches in the veg and meat aisles.

[Spikey M]

We did most of ours last week. Just the stuff with a short shelf life to go. Fuck doing a proper shop the day before Christmas Eve.

Collected the Turkey and Ham from the butchers today. Queue out the door. 45 fucking minutes. Grabbed some more pork Scratching though.

Piece of piss. Got a parking space as close as you can without having a spastic badge and didn’t need to brave the meat isle. The booze got a bit frantic, but most of the plebs were fucking about with boxes of Fosters and Magners so me and a couple of old boys had free reign of the ale (n den we wil c).

[Giggles]

I'm all packed up. All I've to do now is set up the security cameras and head for the folks.

[Magic]

Fuck I've got to to go the shops today at some point today. Was thinking this evening as it'll be less busy?

[Shindig]

Mine wasn't bad this morning.

[Boydy]

Piece of piss. Got a parking space as close as you can without having a spastic badge and didn’t need to brave the meat isle. The booze got a bit frantic, but most of the plebs were fucking about with boxes of Fosters and Magners so me and a couple of old boys had free reign of the ale (n den we wil c).

Meat isle? That must be some size of supermarket.

[Weaver]

"Party food" what the fuck is that.


Take a wild guess.

Not enough love for this first time around :D

[Spikey M]

Meat isle? That must be some size of supermarket.

It’s the local 24 hour one. It has a meat isle, butchers counter, fish monger and deli. It’s pretty big.

Aaaaaand it’s just clicked. Get back on your Isle, Bouldy.

[Magic]

What's so great about having a meat isle?

[Spikey M]

Aisle.

[mo]

I had to have a local anaesthetic yesterday for a filling - it's been over 24 hrs now and my tongue and part of my gum are still numb. I've read it could be a couple of days until it wears off in some cases (usually 3-4 hrs) so Christmas is potentially ruined.

[Magic]

Aisle.

:D

Yes an island of meat in a supermarket would be quite something.

[Mike]

Done my gift giving today which included, but wasn’t limited to, a trip to my parents to give them there’s, Baz was there so that was handy as I gave him his (he’s outdone me again) and played with his daughter which was nice.
Been my nans where I got to eat some chocolate cake then I had a pub tea and a pint. Not a bad day really.

[Magic]

wasn't too bad. Though I took a basket instead of a trolly to avoid queues and use self service and it backfired as now I can't feel my arms .

[Boydy]

Where are you spending Christmas, Magic?

[Magic]

Sorry did somebody say something?

[Giggles]

:D

[Boydy]

Can't work out if he won't say anything any more because he's divorced and we'll laugh at him or he's not divorced and we'll laugh at him.

[Giggles]

Can you get one that quick there?

Although, I think it's just you.

[Giggles]

TV is so fucking shit at Christmas.

[Spikey M]

TV is so fucking shit at Christmas.

I’m watching the Eurovision episode of Father Ted on demand. :cool:

[Baz]

I watched the Only Fools And Horses before where Del is on TV with Jonathan Ross.

[Giggles]

I've no demand stuff or anything as the WiFi is too slow and the normal TV is bollocks. They've made some Stars in their Eyes thing for BBC1 and it's muck. Cinderfuckingella is on RTÉ.

[Baz]

I've no demand stuff or anything as the WiFi is too slow and the normal TV is bollocks. They've made some Stars in their Eyes thing for BBC1 and it's muck. Cinderfuckingella is on RTÉ.Put football (https://www.reddit.com/r/soccerstreams/comments/7lq2rb/1945_gmt_leicester_city_vs_manchester_united/) on? :sorry:

[Giggles]

Put football (https://www.reddit.com/r/soccerstreams/comments/7lq2rb/1945_gmt_leicester_city_vs_manchester_united/) on? :sorry:

There's no football on. There was some Dutch football on SS Mix earlier but I don't care.

Also, WiFi too slow, as I mentioned.

[Shindig]

That U2 thing was abhorrent. Bono has AIDS and, despite writing classic songs, he has to ruin them by cutting into other classic songs by artists. "Hey, let's make With or Without You better by slapping on the chorus of Love Will Tear Us Apart. It's about divorce too!"

Cat Deeley should've slapped the cunt.

[Giggles]

I'm watching the news :(

[Lewis]

My brother has moved house, so he felt compelled to invite us down here, and everyone involved (other than me who isn't arsed) is quietly seething about the situation.

[Boydy]

Who all is involved?

Also, post dog pics.

[Lewis]

My brother, his fiance, and my mother. None of them like each other, but none of them want to admit it.

https://s14.postimg.org/y28er2fpd/Photo0531.jpg

[Giggles]

That's a pot worth stirring.

[Jimmy Floyd]

That wine rack tells me all I need to know.

[Lewis]

That holds the overflow from the wine cooler. I know they are pretty common now (we have one at home), but this one is massive.

[Giggles]

Does wine be cold? I always thought it had to be at room temp

[randomlegend]

White cold and red at room temperature isn't it?

[Kikó]

White chilled before you serve it. Not always.

[Giggles]

If I'm drinking it I've got ice and 7up in it anyway.

[Lewis]

I've got a box of Pepsi Max chilling on the patio.

[Giggles]

What's on the menu tomorrow then folks?

No breakfast or starters here as we eat early. Dinner is turkey, ham, bird stuffing, stuffing balls, croquettes, roast spuds, carrots, parsnips, broccoli tips, sprouts, and Yorkshire puds. Gravy, bread sauce, and cranberry. I'll have all except the sprouts, they're just not pleasant.

Bailey's trifle and a banoffee for dessert. Couldn't be arsed making the pecan pie after all.



.

[niko_cee]

Beef Wellington and some massive veggie loaf thing. Creamed spinach, glazed carrots and shredded sprouts as the sides (roasties as well, natch).

Standard pudding or ice cream bombe dessert options.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Roast beef, yorkshires, and all the veg including a superior way of doing sprouts that involves frying them with bacon and chestnuts.

Also doing scrambled eggs & smoked salmon for breakfast, a pint of something wintry at the pub at midday, and then endless crisps & chocolate in between times.

[Baz]

Going my mums for dinner. She’s got turkey, beef, pork and ham. :drool:

Combine all that meat with pigs in blankets, roast potatoes, enough sprouts to feed a small village and whatever other veg she’s got in (probably mashed carrots and turnip) and we’re laughing. She’s even got some new big square plates to fit it all on. Can’t wait!

Only downside is I’m driving. Oh and we’ve gotta to the in-laws in the evening to be bored to death.

[Adamski]

Haven’t encountered Yorkshire’s with Christmas dinner before.

First Christmas in the new house, family coming over which means no driving required for the first time in years :drool:

We have a three bird roast, a ham most probably with 5 spice and maple syrup, pigs in blankets, roasties, sprouts, carrots and red cabbage.

[Giggles]

They're nice, I'd have them with anything within reason.

I've to go pick up the wife in the morning too which will be about 4 hours and keep me off the sweets, so I'll demolish dinner for the first time in years.

[Magic]

Haven’t encountered Yorkshire’s with Christmas dinner before.

First Christmas in the new house, family coming over which means no driving required for the first time in years :drool:

We have a three bird roast, a ham most probably with 5 spice and maple syrup, pigs in blankets, roasties, sprouts, carrots and red cabbage.

It's acceptable if you're not having Turkey like Jim, but if you're putting it on that plate then GET IN THE SEA

[Giggles]

It's acceptable if you're not having Turkey like Jim, but if you're putting it on that plate then GET IN THE SEA

The whole idea is one of the biggest wankerys of all time. But I'd never doubt you on that count.

[SvN]

Yorkshire puddings are amazing. I've no idea why some people will only have them with beef.

[Shindig]

I'm annoyed I didn't pick any up.

[Magic]

I had to pick up some frozen ones. Needless to say I'm ashamed. Needless to say mind your own business Steven.

[Magic]

The whole idea is one of the biggest wankerys of all time. But I'd never doubt you on that count.

It's absolutely not. Turkey and Yorkshires? Get to fuck.

[Giggles]

It's absolutely not. Turkey and Yorkshires? Get to fuck.

Yeah, crime the century. You're clutching at more straws than a scarecrow having a wank with this wannabe middle class thing.

[Lewis]

They go with whatever. #Yorkshire #BNP #roast

[Magic]

Yeah, crime the century. You're clutching at more straws than a scarecrow having a wank with this wannabe middle class thing.

It's nothing to do with class or pretensions. Its common sense.

[Giggles]

It's nothing to do with class or pretensions. Its common sense.

It's just needlessly being a notionable twat.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Mum went to Sainsburys earlier and spent £475.

[Magic]

It's just needlessly being a notionable twat.

I'll remember that next time some cunt pours syrup on my T Bone.

[Boydy]

Yeah, crime the century. You're clutching at more straws than a scarecrow having a wank with this wannabe middle class thing.

:D

l

[Giggles]

I'll remember that next time some cunt pours syrup on my T Bone.

Yep that's the same.

[Magic]

:D

l

You've really got it in for me, haven't you? I hope your turkey is overcooked.

The best thing about Christmas for me is all the mailing lists I've subscribed to sending me merry christmas emails.

[Magic]

Yep that's the same.

It's exactly the same. No place on the plate.

[Jimmy Floyd]

I used to be a radical on this point, but I've now softened to a position that Yorkshire goes best with beef, but the Lord will not frown on you having it with other foods of your choosing.

I'm still not having pigs in blankets #notodoubleporking

[Giggles]

I used to be a radical on this point, but I've now softened to a position that Yorkshire goes best with beef, but the Lord will not frown on you having it with other foods of your choosing.

I'm still not having pigs in blankets #notodoubleporking

Tell that to Mrs Beeton above.

[Reg]

I never used to have pigs in blankets with a Christmas lunch but what an addition are. Mighty things.

[phonics]

I used to be a radical on this point, but I've now softened to a position that Yorkshire goes best with beef, but the Lord will not frown on you having it with other foods of your choosing.

I'm still not having pigs in blankets #notodoubleporking

That second para would have you defending yourself in The Hague if there was any justice in this world.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Would you have cheddar wrapped in cheesestrings? It's the same thing.

[phonics]

No because cheese strings are shit.

I've just realized I forgot to pack my Switch. :(

[Giggles]

Never had pigs in blankets with the dinner but in my years in the western most part of your United Kingdom I found that they used to have cocktail sausages with the Christmas dinner and it was good stuff.

[Boydy]

You've really got it in for me, haven't you? I hope your turkey is overcooked.

The best thing about Christmas for me is all the mailing lists I've subscribed to sending me merry christmas emails.

No, not at all.

That grin was at the scarecrow turn of phrase, not at you.

I hope you have a lovely Christmas and your turkey is cooked perfectly.

[Kikó]

There's a huge turkey, roast tatties, red cabbage thing (?) and then whatever they chuck in. I'm going to get some pandoro or pannetone in a minute for dessert.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Speaking of Pandoro/Pannetone, I've got these two:

https://www.amazon.co.uk/gp/product/B00XUH7N28/ref=oh_aui_search_detailpage?ie=UTF8&psc=1

https://www.amazon.co.uk/gp/product/B00AB27BJ0/ref=oh_aui_search_detailpage?ie=UTF8&psc=1

Lemon is bought every year, first time buying the pear and chocolate though.

[Lewis]

Between the crap food, the racist characters, and the ritualised child abuse, European attempts at Christmas are atrocious. No wonder they were always so anti-Semitic.

[phonics]

I didn't realize Pannetone was that popular until I went to the shops this year and they were sold out of 9 kilo loaves of the stuff.

[Giggles]

I was thinking of pannacotta until Phonics mentioned loaf.

[Pepe]

We bought $50 worth of steak. It's going to be a good Christmas. :drool:

[Giggles]

We bought $50 worth of steak. It's going to be a good Christmas. :drool:

Yours sounds absolutely epic.

[Samadini]

Stopped at the service station and got some wanker m&s beef and onion crisps which were not bad at all. Pipe of pink coming next, easily the best, should have got more than one.

[Waffdon]

There's a huge turkey, roast tatties, red cabbage thing (?) and then whatever they chuck in. I'm going to get some pandoro or pannetone in a minute for dessert.

Ferry tonight x

[Giggles]

I'm raging I forgot to pick up pork scratchings.

[Lewis]

Stopped at the service station and got some wanker m&s beef and onion crisps which were not bad at all. Pipe of pink coming next, easily the best, should have got more than one.

That sounds like fifties code between two gay blokes.

[Boydy]

'Pipe of pink'?

[Boydy]

That sounds like fifties code between two gay blokes.

:D

That was what I thought.

[Kikó]

Ferry tonight x

You missed your chance.

[Giggles]

:D

That was what I thought.

Leave Magic alone.

[Samadini]

Prawn cocktail ffs

[Samadini]

Got a pipe of brown as well. I'm a fucking pervert clearly.

[Giggles]

Prawn cocktail ffs

Pringles? The PC ones are so fucking good :drool:

[Magic]

Leave Magic alone.

Merry Christmas cunt

[Giggles]

Merry Christmas cunt

Same to you, you big bollix :) :beer:

[Giggles]

Got a pipe of brown as well. I'm a fucking pervert clearly.

I'd happily devour a brown pipe as soon as I'd finished swallowing a whole pink.

(Brown are smokey bacon aren't they?)

[Waffdon]

You missed your chance.

Fair.

[randomlegend]

You've really got it in for me, haven't you? I hope your turkey is overcooked.


:lol:

[Mike]

Going my mums for dinner. She’s got turkey, beef, pork and ham. :drool:

Combine all that meat with pigs in blankets, roast potatoes, enough sprouts to feed a small village and whatever other veg she’s got in (probably mashed carrots and turnip) and we’re laughing. She’s even got some new big square plates to fit it all on. Can’t wait!

Only downside is I’m driving. Oh and we’ve gotta to the in-laws in the evening to be bored to death.

This. But without the driving and the in-laws.
That part of my day will be filled drinking parts of the three different kegs my Dad has gotten and playing World Cup 98 Monopoly with special day guest The Reid.

[ItalAussie]

Merry Christmas from Down Under!

https://media1.agfg.com.au/images/content/600/1173.jpg

[randomlegend]

Lewis said Ital was fat, but christ.

[Lewis]

What.

[John]

My Aunt's house, where she will cook an absolute feast in her four ovens. Usually there's turkey, ham, and beef wellington along with a hundred types of veg, soup of some kind to start, and a swanky pudding that never gets touched.

There's usually 5-7 of us and my Aunt is a vegetarian so they must eat nothing but leftover sandwiches in that house until new year.

[mo]

At my parents with my sister and her atrocious children. Over priveledged and under appreciative. At least it’ll be over relatively soon.

[randomlegend]

What.

You definitely told me that when we met,

[Lewis]

He was probably not fat by then so I doubt it mate.

[randomlegend]

Your memory's going.

[Lewis]

Listen, Games Workshop...

[randomlegend]

My hairline might be receding but at least I've not got early onset dementia.

[John]

Forgetting to finish sentences now. Fuck sake Lewis.

[Pleb]

I completely forgot that my household has a Baileys coffee at 3pm exactly.

I'll just stick to a Jack Daniels ta.

[Kikó]

Fair.

I'm only joking. I can't drive and I can't the old man in law to drive me to meet an internet friend.

Not yet.

[Ian]

My sister's sister-in-law has only just today bothered to confirm that they're coming tomorrow. I mean, because there are too many people she's doing a big sort of buffet thing anyway but I'd still have told them to fuck off by now.

[AyDee]

Ended up drinking on an empty stomach [unintentionally] from 3-11 yesterday. A stupid mistake indeed, although bar the initial bloody sick I've actually felt pretty good today.

[John]

My sister's sister-in-law has only just today bothered to confirm that they're coming tomorrow. I mean, because there are too many people she's doing a big sort of buffet thing anyway but I'd still have told them to fuck off by now.

They've definitely had something else fall through.

[Ian]

They do it for literally everything so I think they're just cunts who always plan to man up and tell their family "No, we'd rather do [occasion] by ourselves" and then bottle it.

Me and my sister are more honest with each other and we'd have told each other days ago to make a decision or not bother coming. We'd have had the argument and then got on with life. My brother-in-law's family are more about unspoken rows and simmering resentment.

[igor_balis]

hope everyone appreciates my high quality christmas avatar

[igor_balis]

i can count the pixels ffs how do you make it look not shit

[Kikó]

Pm Bam.

[Waffdon]

I'm only joking. I can't drive and I can't the old man in law to drive me to meet an internet friend.

Not yet.

Taxi bruh

[phonics]

Everyone just skipping over that Johns aunt has four ovens?

Do they film a downmarket Bake Off there or something?

[phonics]

The B&B I'm staying at has ceilings so low I think it was designed for invalids. Been here less than 15 minutes and already caned my head twice.

[igor_balis]

You've really got it in for me, haven't you? I hope your turkey is overcooked.

The best thing about Christmas for me is all the mailing lists I've subscribed to sending me merry christmas emails.

I got a merry christmas email from a recruitment agency and a happy birthday email from a Preston North End forum. Why did I join a fucking Preston forum?

[igor_balis]

'Pipe of pink'?

Pipe in the pink, one in the stink?

[Ian]

I thought all this had come up in either a crisps or Pringles thread ages ago. I've had Sama referring to them as "a pipe of [colour]" to me for long enough now that I genuinely catch myself doing it sometimes.

[Spikey M]

The B&B I'm staying at has ceilings so low I think it was designed for invalids. Been here less than 15 minutes and already caned my head twice.

You’re in the right B&B then.

[phonics]

Less of that, it's Christmas you tiny headed twat.

[Boydy]

Muppet Christmas Carol on Channel 4 now.

[Baz]

Christmas Eve tea shall consist of a lifetimes supply of cheese, mac and cheese jalapeño bites (dunno), Moroccan spiced lamb kebabs and mulled wine and onion hotdog sliders, aka “party food tea.” :drool:

There’s also been talk of her having a baileys hot chocolate so I may as well crack open some Swiss beer to mark the occasion.

[niko_cee]

Why does everyone seem to hate their family and/or in laws?

I find it hard to believe life can be that much of a cliché, but maybe I've just dodged a lot of bullets and found the sweet-spot of non-dickhead family units (certainly both my family and the wife's have dickhead potential on the outlying members).

[Baz]

Why does everyone seem to hate their family and/or in laws?

I find it hard to believe life can be that much of a cliché, but maybe I've just dodged a lot of bullets and found the sweet-spot of non-dickhead family units (certainly both my family and the wife's have dickhead potential on the outlying members).For me it’s because my family (mum, Dad and mike) are proper boss and spending time with them is dead fun. So then when I have to go to the in-laws (mother in law, father in law, brother in law) and experience a really weird fuck-up of a family where they’re all scared of the Dad and don’t even have a Christmas dinner cos the parents are in bed and the brother just eats crap food all day and I have to go round and pretend to enjoy a buffet that I have to eat on my knee in the living room, oh god even writing about it is ruining tomorrow already. :(

[Baz]

In better news, my Finnish secret santa recipient liked his gifts:

https://i.imgur.com/oefS19C.jpg

[Giggles]

Why does everyone seem to hate their family and/or in laws?

I find it hard to believe life can be that much of a cliché, but maybe I've just dodged a lot of bullets and found the sweet-spot of non-dickhead family units (certainly both my family and the wife's have dickhead potential on the outlying members).

I don't hate mine, I just couldn't spend the day with them as the dinner and food fest wouldn't be the same. Her sister in law would have loads of half raw veg with one slice of turkey for the dinner and then afterwards there would be one box of quality street on the go while you sip a long neck for an hour.

Plus they've kids and kids always seem to want extra attention at Christmas which trumps everything as a big no no.

[Spikey M]

Why does everyone seem to hate their family and/or in laws?

I find it hard to believe life can be that much of a cliché, but maybe I've just dodged a lot of bullets and found the sweet-spot of non-dickhead family units (certainly both my family and the wife's have dickhead potential on the outlying members).

I’m round my in laws and cool with it. Good bit of grub on offer round there and we get on well enough.

[Kikó]

I'm at my in-laws and it's great. It's just great food and good chat. They're moderate on the booze which is probably a good thing. My actual parents make me regress into a kid and I have running battles which is fucking boring.

This is dinner tonight http://www.olivemagazine.com/recipes/one-pots/portuguese-fish-stew-caldeirada-de-peixe/

[mo]

At the in-laws tomorrow, and as her sister (and her knobhead other half + kids) won't be there I'm really looking forward to it, They do a cracking Christmas dinner and the monopoly game usually provides friendly competition rather than all-out fallout.

[Ian]

Why does everyone seem to hate their family and/or in laws?

I find it hard to believe life can be that much of a cliché, but maybe I've just dodged a lot of bullets and found the sweet-spot of non-dickhead family units (certainly both my family and the wife's have dickhead potential on the outlying members).

I like my own family a lot, as these things go. My mum is increasingly insane but I like my direct family and my brother-in-law a lot. His family are dickheads, but fortunately I barely have to spend any time with them. Tomorrow I'll hide in the kitchen with my sister and help her when she needs extra hands.

And drink, of course.

[phonics]

I ordered chicken liver pate for starters at this place and it was the size of a plate and came with 6 slices of toast. Result.

[Adamski]

Why are you in a B&B you little melt?

There’s not many finer aspects of Christmas than the daily Terrys Chocolate Orange :drool:

[AyDee]

My girlfriend's family are ace. Spent Christmas with them the last couple of years and they go all in for the food and alcohol, so it's a merry time. This year I'm staying with my mum, just the two of us, which will be lovely but not as exciting or indulgent as if I was at the girlfriend's.

Has everyone actually been watching a lot of Christmas stuff? I think I watch less every year. It's nice being reminded of warm Christmas feelings and memories of when you have watched the same film over and over, but it's just all a bit meh. I think the only Christmas stuff I've watched this year is Elf and The Nightmare Before Christmas; I've not even seen Die Hard yet, or the Gavin and Stacey Christmas episode (classic). Maybe I'm just boring.

[Lewis]

Sez niko as he suppresses his crisp-loving, Brexit-supporting, 'I lived in Australia and all I got was good coffee honestly' self in all aspects of his off-board life.

[Ian]

I don't think I've watched a single overtly Christmassy thing so far.

And if we're counting Christmas films that aren't really Christmas films then Kiss Kiss Bang Bang is the best.

[phonics]

Why are you in a B&B you little melt?
I live in a different country from the rest of my family and my mums got ideas above her station that prevents us staying in an Ibis.

[phonics]

Four pound sixty a pint though. I thought the only positive of Essex is that everyone's tight? I pay that in Geneva and we're on triple the salary.

[Adamski]

I live in a different country from the rest of my family and my mums got ideas above her station that prevents us staying in an Ibis.

Aren’t you home for Christmas though?

[phonics]

Home as in the U.K. I live in Switzerland.

[Adamski]

Home as in the U.K. I live in Switzerland.

I know you do.

If you’re now in the same country as your family why are you staying at a B&B instead of your house?

[phonics]

Family = everyone who aren't my parents...?

[phonics]

Oh I think I get you, my family don't have that many spare rooms with their kids coming up for the holidays as well.

[Shindig]

Family = everyone who aren't my parents...?

Lol, dead parents. Although my folks too have the spare room problem. Plus it's not like they're miles away.

[phonics]

I saw Jaydon Sancho at London Stanstead as well. He was wearing the Dortmund training jacket and the rest of his getup including his suitcase was budget Nike joints. He's the first 'celebrity' I've ever recognized but I did it through logical reasoning rather than having any clue who it was.

[John]

Everyone just skipping over that Johns aunt has four ovens?

Do they film a downmarket Bake Off there or something?

She had three put in at chest height along one wall, then the specific hob she wanted was somehow cheaper if it was attached to an oven, so she's got that one too. She cooks a lot so as excessive as it is, she does use them all.

[randomlegend]

Merry Christmas you bunch of cunts.

[Lewis]

Merry Christmas to everyone who isn't in 'The Group'.

[Lewis]

Actually 'Daws' is alright. The rest of them. Nah mate.