FOOTBALL! Liverpool vs. United (and some other less exciting games)

[Baz]

Well it's almost time for the most exciting football match of the season: Liverpool vs. United at Anfield. :chief:
Liverpool's top goalscorer and overall best player, Sadio Mane, is injured. Meanwhile United's Belgian scoring genius with a twenty-four inch penis, Romelu Lukaku, was supposed to be injured but isn't. But thankfully Fellainimaina is. Well, supposedly. (I've put him in my fantasy team, just in case.)

Anyway, fixtures:

Friday 13th October
St Johnstone vs. Rangers (19:45) BT Sport 1
Birmingham City vs. Cardiff City (19:45) Sky Sports

Saturday 14th October
Liverpool vs Manchester United (12:30) Sky Sports
Burnley vs. West Ham United
Crystal Palace vs. Chelsea
Manchester City vs. Stoke City
Swansea City vs. Huddersfield Town
Tottenham Hotspur vs. AFC Bournemouth
Watford vs. Arsenal (17:30) BT Sport 1

Wolves v Aston Villa (17:30) Sky Sports
St Albans City v Boreham Wood (12:30) BBC red button

Sunday 15th October
Brighton & Hove Albion vs. Everton (13:30)
Southampton vs. Newcastle United (16:00) Sky Sports

Monday 16th October
Leicester City vs. West Bromich Albion (20:00) Sky Sports

[Pleb]

Baz stealing Reg's thunder I see.

The FA Cup is back and Torquay get Aldershot Town away. Oh well there's always next year. Meanwhile up in Anfield the Sacked One will probably take it 1-0.

[Baz]

Baz stealing Reg's thunder I see.I have a lot of spare time.

[Pleb]

:cool:

[Shindig]

We've only had two Saturday kick-offs so far this season. :moop:

[Kikó]

I'm never too confident after an international break and still without ogba. Can see this being a draw with old yellow teeth being annoying as usual.

[Baz]

Old yellow teeth = ... Klopp? :rosebud:

[Jimmy Floyd]

Can't wait for Jeff Stelling on Saturday.

We said that Crystal Palace fans had been waiting a long time for a goal... well now... the wait... IS OVER! Chris Kamara

[Luke Emia]

We are getting stiffed by United at the weekend. Cue maniacs saying that Klopp needs sacking and Gerrard to be put in charge.

[Baz]

Hopefully it’s the other way round and United Twitter is jealous of Oldham for getting Scholes.

[Luke Emia]

Wouldn't get your hopes up. No way we keep a clean sheet and as soon as they score we are fucked. It pains me to say it hurt United do look very good, I fancy them to win it. then we have to hope Mourinho implodes in his third season next year.

[Lewis]

In theory United could touch them right up on the counter-attack, but their ponderous starts could let Liverpool in, so it probably depends on whether Ander Herrera can shithouse Coutinho out of it.

[Giggles]

In theory United could touch them right up on the counter-attack, but their ponderous starts could let Liverpool in, so it probably depends on whether Ander Herrera can shithouse Coutinho out of it.

Best thing for everyone is if he took the red early on for snapping his two knees.

[niko_cee]

Liverpool haven't beaten United since Moyes have they (in the league)? So it's probably about time to sort that. Whoever the new David Ngog is to get the late settler. Solanke?

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Lukaku could have a field day against ZONAL MARKING.

Aim for his head at every set-piece, just a shame we don't have the dual threat with Fellainimaina.

[Pleb]

Coutinho to thomp one in before the Lukaku gets two quickfire goals to save the tie.

[Boydy]

I really can't see any hope for Liverpool this weekend.

[Spoonsky]

Think I'm going to wake up at 7:30 to watch this. It better be one of those 'big games' where Liverpool play inexplicably well.

[Shindig]

Speaking of old boys in management, Steve Watson's managing Gateshead now. Hope he's good at it.

[Weaver]

Juventus vs Lazio, Roma vs Napoli and Inter vs AC Milan in Serie A this weekend.

Dortmund vs Leipzig and Atlético vs Barcelona going on too.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Speaking of old boys in management, Steve Watson's managing Gateshead now. Hope he's good at it.

I was driving through Gateshead the other week (don't ask) and thought this should really be a Football League club. Loads of money poured into local facilities, 'football area', with a nice big parent club next door.

[niko_cee]

2-1 United would be the standard Mourinho title-winning result, so let's hope that doesn't happen (it is likely). First goal will be critical as both sides will want to sit and wait for the other to come on to them. I reckon it'll be a bit of a shitfest, as is typical of this game.

[Ian]

Is Liverpool / United consistently the worst of the "big" fixtures in England? I feel like most of the other big ones have at least had peaks and troughs of good and shit games but I feel like Liverpool and United have the odd outlier in oceans of drab draws or one-sided affairs.

I may be speaking through my arse and it's just that it's the one I have typically been nervier about in the past.

[Giggles]

No they are regularly shit.

[Lewis]

That is probably true.

[Lewis]

Is this nerd from the Liverpool fan channel the Chelsea rent boys one?

[Giggles]

Speaking of which.

https://i.imgur.com/J5KDEjj.png

[Lewis]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FeU_9hMBSR8

It is as well, and I now have 'rent boys' in my Twitter search history.

[Kikó]

Jonathan Wilson is a massive bore.

[Jimmy Floyd]

I still have that game as the absolute peak lol of the period, narrowly edging out the Barcelona 2-2. Tomas Kalas ffs.

[Reg]

Is Liverpool / United consistently the worst of the "big" fixtures in England? I feel like most of the other big ones have at least had peaks and troughs of good and shit games but I feel like Liverpool and United have the odd outlier in oceans of drab draws or one-sided affairs.

I may be speaking through my arse and it's just that it's the one I have typically been nervier about in the past.
I reckon when atmospheres are that intense it can make for worse games (see Merseyside derby). Or maybe it's just been bad luck.

The Young and Fellaini game under van Gaal was good.

[Shindig]

I was driving through Gateshead the other week (don't ask) and thought this should really be a Football League club. Loads of money poured into local facilities, 'football area', with a nice big parent club next door.

We've come close under Gary Mills a couple of times but we really can't hop the fence. Part of the problem with having more illustrious neighbours is how their reserve talent wind up at league clubs on loan, leaving the kids to wind up at non-league clubs. Even then, the young bastards might prefer to sit in the youth setup until their contracts are up.

[Baz]

Liverpool Starting XI: Mignolet, Gomez, Matip, Lovren, Moreno, Henderson, Can, Wijnaldum, Salah, Coutinho & Firmino.

United Starting XI: De Gea, Valencia, Jones, Smalling, Darmian, Herrera, Matic, Young, Mkhitaryan, Martial & Lukaku.


:youpi:

[niko_cee]

Back 5 with Herrera and Matic in midfield?

Nice.

[Waffdon]

Young will be in midfield. It’s a bog standard 4231 to me anyway.

[Lewis]

'Possession is for the mathematicians.' :cool:

[Kikó]

Smalling :/

[Waffdon]

The build up on Sky is something else. Liverpool haven’t won the league since 1990 for fuck sake :D

[Ian]

'Possession is for the mathematicians.' :cool:

Who said that?

[Jimmy Floyd]

The high pan camera at Anfield gives a great view of Mourinho's classic five at the back.

[Lewis]

Who said that?

Bit of a daft question that mate.

[Magic]

As if it was going to be anything other than a shit fest. The only difference between that fixture and West Brom Stoke is the levels of coverage.

[Waffdon]

Martin Atkinson is just an awful referee. Always seems to get the big games too.

[Ian]

Bit of a daft question that mate.

Could be either of them, to be fair.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

De Gea :drool:

My word.

[Lewis]

Some Dominik Hasek skills there.

[Waffdon]

Lukaku is getting shown up again. He’s pretty fucking awful when having to hold the ball up, hence never doing it for Everton in a big game.

[Jimmy Floyd]

They all wank on about the save, but Salah absolutely botched a simple follow-up for either him or Coutinho.

[Baz]

Martin Atkinson is just an awful referee. Always seems to get the big games too.I’m on 2 pens awarded @ 20/1

[Reg]

Lukaku is getting shown up again. He’s pretty fucking awful when having to hold the ball up, hence never doing it for Everton in a big game.
Yeah his hold up play has been really poor; I reckon that little kick was deliberate as well.

[Lewis]

When Ronaldo comes back Anthony Martial should probably start the bigger games up front.

[Ian]

Lukaku will be handy to bully the shit with but a striker with a brain would be more useful for the big games.

[Pepe]

You can't say that.

[Ian]

It's fine, some of my favourite beers are Belgian.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Lukaku will be handy to bully the shit with but a striker with a brain would be more useful for the big games.

Is there a correlation between dick size and brain size?

[John Arne]

This is when we need someone like Woodburn on the bench.

[John Arne]

Why the fuck has Sturridge got so much jewellery on? You’re in the fucking bench - be ready to come on.

[Baz]

What a game. :sleep:

[Jimmy Floyd]

The point United fans will tire of Mourinho is when he is still serving up this sort of performance in year 4.

[John Arne]

Replacing your front 3 and hoping that it makes the midfielders better. How very FM of Klopp.

[Kikó]

What a shit show.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

What a memorable game.

[Baz]

Aye. Right, do I watch Spurs vs Bournemouth, Palace vs Chelsea or City vs Stoke?

[Giggles]

Mourinho will be delighted with that but it was diabolical to let them keep a comfortable clean sheet.

[Kikó]

Honestly the shittest game I've seen united play in years. Liverpool absolutely deserved to win for their intent but they were crap. Klopp took off his best players thankfully.

Darmien is one of the worst professional footballers ever.

[Lewis]

That was the worst they have played since 'LvG' was on the brink that Christmas, so it says a bit about both teams that it still seemed reasonably comfortable.

[SvN]

Seems like Mourinho decided the 0-0 was enough at half time, because we showed no intent whatsoever in the second half.

[Reg]

Darmien is one of the worst professional footballers ever.
I reckon he might have conned himself into a reputation of a "solid, reliable full back" by not being very good at attacking.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Darmian is a classic case of building a reputation on one's nationality. If he was Swedish or Senegalese he'd never have made it this far.

[SvN]

He's been awful since he joined United. He needs to go.

[CJay]

Henderson, Can and Wijnaldum have great energy and generally battle well in midfield, but they're all a bit samey and lacking a proper spark. I'd rather see us drop Coutinho back there and stick Chamberlain on out wide. We'll never progress beyond our current state with that midfield 3 starting every week.

We're also terrible at converting decent chances. We created more than enough today to get a goal if we had anybody who could actually put them away consistently.

I don't get why Mourinho approached that so negatively. The one time Lukaku and Mkhitaryan had the ball down on the deck and sped the play up they went through us with ease.

[Lewis]

This interview explains it to some extent. In short, the midfield died after the first half and he couldn't change it.

[Ian]

Is there a correlation between dick size and brain size?

If there is then I've been fucking robbed.

[Giggles]

Can't wait for Jeff Stelling on Saturday.

We said that Crystal Palace fans had been waiting a long time for a goal... well now... the wait... IS OVER! Chris Kamara

Didn't take long. They've been good so far.

[Jimmy Floyd]

He gave it a proper shout too. That's my boy, Jeff.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Hiddink in charge by teatime tomorrow.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

City have just pumped 3 past Stoke in about 4 minutes.

[Kikó]

It's a genuine mystery how city have won the league only a few times over the last 7 years with the players they have.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Shit managers.

[Disco]

Other teams got more points.

[phonics]

Really struggling without Aguero.

[Kikó]

Ah yes. Hanks disco.

[Magic]

Leeds are falling apart again it seems.

[Giggles]

#rip

919195346886103040

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Didn't realise that he passed away.

He will be missed.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Arsenal :harold:

Well in, Tom.

[Magic]

Wengy. Dav. :D

[Adamski]

It's a genuine mystery how city have won the league only a few times over the last 7 years with the players they have.

Wouldn’t the same apply to Utd?

[Reg]

Definitely not. Fergie was winning things with (relative) scraps, Moyes 'dealt' with everyone ageing, van Gaal did the same and sold good players to buy worse ones, and finally this summer the squad turned into arguably top 2.

[Giggles]

Never gets old. Twats.


919272345948311552

[Reg]

Bruno. :( We were a bit lucky there. Still, not too bad a result. I'm pleased for Knockaert, that could be the start of a good season for him.

Watching De Bruyne on MOTD last night, the guy is ridiculous. It's like he has somehow lifted automatic passing from a 90s football game and everyone else is stuck dealing with real life physics.

[John Arne]

Commentators in the Southampton-Newcastle obsessing over the fact that Yedlin wasn’t given a second yellow for a tackle. Like every tackle since has been “if you didn’t book Yedlin, you can’t book player x”, bringing up for the fact that he should’ve been sent of every 2 minutes. Talk about creating a narrative. The tackle wasn’t that bad either, a deffo foul, but not exactly malicious.

[Jimmy Floyd]

It was an absolute nailed on yellow. Kevin Friend was properly first ruling that whole match.

[Giggles]

Bruno. :( We were a bit lucky there. Still, not too bad a result. I'm pleased for Knockaert, that could be the start of a good season for him.

Watching De Bruyne on MOTD last night, the guy is ridiculous. It's like he has somehow lifted automatic passing from a 90s football game and everyone else is stuck dealing with real life physics.

I hear Moloumby was on the bench today. Was there loads of injuries or is he pushing? He scored a hat-trick for our U-21's or U-19's the other night.

[Shindig]

Wish we'd won that.

[John Arne]

It was an absolute nailed on yellow. Kevin Friend was properly first ruling that whole match.

M'eh. I think yellow's are dished out way too easily nowadays /nostalgia.. My issue was more the Sky coms making it out to be SUPER SUNDAY RED CARD OUTRAGE.

[Reg]

Giggles Well Sidwell and Kayal are both out so we needed a centre mid, but Hughton was very complimentary about him earlier in the season.

[Waffdon]

De Bruyne played at least 3 or 4 utterly orgasmic passes in that game yesterday. Shame he’s nowhere near that form for Belgium.

[Magic]

Fuck sake can't believe I missed the Milan derby.

[Kikó]

It was a proper game of football that. Two teams going at each other. Glorious.

[Lewis]

Yeah, and one of them lost. How naive.

[Magic]

Betis 0-4 Valencia
Betis 3-4 Valencia
Betis 3-6 Valencia

Lol.

[Kikó]

Yeah, and one of them lost. How naive.

And you were a fan of van Gaal.

[Lewis]

He was a legend.

[Spoonsky]

Napoli in first in Serie A. :drool:

With a perfect record I should add.

[phonics]

José Mourinho is minded to sign a new contract at Manchester United (https://www.theguardian.com/football/manchester-united) but will do so only if he believes the terms reflect his achievements at the club and its current status under him.

The manager is almost halfway through the three-year deal he agreed in summer 2016. In his first season at United Mourinho won two major trophies, the EFL Cup (https://www.theguardian.com/football/2017/feb/26/manchester-united-southampton-efl-cup-final-match-report)and Europa League (https://www.theguardian.com/football/2017/may/24/manchester-united-ajax-europa-league-final-match-report). Claiming the latter ensured the club returned to the Champions League after his predecessor, Louis van Gaal, could guide the side only to fifth place.


Mourinho earns around £15m a year but is thought to want a marked improvement on his package of salary and incentives to reflect the success he has brought and the team’s evolution under him.

lol. 15 million quid a year doesn't get you much these days does it?

[Lewis]

'LvG' IN.

[Magic]

Napoli in first in Serie A. :drool:

With a perfect record I should add.

I caught their win over the Giallorossi. Looked pretty dece. Lol @ Raja's hair though fffffffs.

[Alan Shearer The 2nd]

The fat fuck's put Newcastle up for sale.

[Lewis]

I caught their win over the Giallorossi. Looked pretty dece. Lol @ Raja's hair though fffffffs.

:gay:

[Lewis]

That smiley should be BANNED.

[John Arne]

Timothy Weah (son of George) scored a hattrick for USA U17's tonight, the second was a beaut.


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NCAu3yRFx6s

[John]

Steve Clarke is the new Kilmarnock manager, and used his press conference to whinge about not getting sufficient applause for his job at West Brom.

[Kikó]

Haha. I saw that. What a boring man he is.

Also, you've got 4* manager Owen Coyle is managing Partick.

[Shindig]

Timothy Weah (son of George) ...

President George Weah. :dc:

[Waffdon]

Watford in fourth popped up out of absolutely nowhere. That Silva is a decent manager.

[phonics]

They're 7 points off Everton in 16th with 90 to play for. The table won't matter for another couple of months.

[Foe]

Haha. I saw that. What a boring man he is.

Also, you've got 4* manager Owen Coyle is managing Partick.

By Patrick you mean Ross county yeah?

[Kikó]

4* memory.

[Adamski]

By Patrick you mean Ross county yeah?

By Patrick you mean Partick yeah?

[Magic]

Steve Clarke is the new Kilmarnock manager, and used his press conference to whinge about not getting sufficient applause for his job at West Brom.

Lol at failed English managers ending up there, also with the same surname.

Hopefully see a dece wee rant fae that mong prick that posts vids on FB now.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

By Patrick you mean Partick yeah?

By Partick you mean Partick Thistle yeah?

[Pleb]

That point for the Brom has just got themselves out of a very tight bottom 10.

[igor_balis]

Steve Clarke is the new Kilmarnock manager, and used his press conference to whinge about not getting sufficient applause for his job at West Brom.

In his defense he did have a cracking half-season with us. 30 points by christmas and the following season we were 16th when we put him on gardening leave. Obviously not the time or the place, but whatever.

[John Arne]

President George Weah. :dc:

Not yet. He faces a run-off next month against some other bloke :dc: :)

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

So, can Harry Kane do it on a warmish Tuesday night in Madrid?

[Giggles]

So, can Harry Kane do it on a warmish Tuesday night in Madrid?

Meh, Bakeoff.

EDIT: TV here are showing Maribor and Liverpool instead anyway. Christ :D


.

[Shindig]

Not yet. He faces a run-off next month against some other bloke :dc: :)

George took 39% of the vote first time around. I'd say it's nailed on but African politics are ... y'know, fun.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

George took 39% of the vote first time around. I'd say it's nailed on but African politics are ... y'know, fun.

He took the majority in the first round in 2005 (only 28% but still) and then lost to Ellen Sirleaf in the second round.

Three of four opinion polls suggested that Boakai will win so Weah has it in the bag.