WEEKEND FOOTBALL 30/9 - 1/10 sponsored by "A lovely autumn afternoon here at..."

[Mazuuurk]

30 SEPTEMBER
(which is Saturday)


12:30 Huddersfield Town - Tottenham Hotspur

15:00 AFC Bournemouth - Leicester City
15:00 Manchester United - Crystal Palace
15:00 Stoke City - Southampton
15:00 West Bromwich Albion - Watford
15:00 West Ham United - Swansea City

17:30 Chelsea - Manchester City


1 OCTOBER
(which is Sunday)

12:00 Arsenal - Brighton & Hove Albion

14:15 Everton - Burnley

16:30 Newcastle United - Liverpool


I even changed the fucking times to UTC for you shitheads.
And yeah I don't give a fuck about other leagues, so live with that please.

[SvN]

I even changed the fucking times to UTC for you shitheads.
And yeah I don't give a fuck about other leagues, so live with that please.

https://s3.amazonaws.com/colorslive/jpg_512x512/417226-f2Gpxnn_GzgfgNJi.jpg

We should be wiping the floor with Palace, really. Last season this would've been nailed on for 1-1.

[Kikó]

I'm not sure WOR WOY has a good record against United so I'm expecting the normally sized penis of Lukaku to slap them about.

[Giggles]

One fixture worth the time still beats last weekend by one

[niko_cee]

I wonder whether City will be going with Courage Benjamin or Courage Sergio for their shirts tomorrow.

[phonics]

I wonder whether City will be going with Courage Bernard or Courage Sergio for their shirts tomorrow.

ftfy

[John]

Does that have another meaning, because you certainly haven't fixed it.

For maximum mawk they'll go with Mandy on the front and Aguero's number.

[phonics]

Does that have another meaning, because you certainly haven't fixed it.

For maximum mawk they'll go with Mandy on the front and Aguero's number.

913093710606413824

[Lewis]

That Duncan Castles seems to be the butt of every joke on Football Twitter, but there he is, making a living from writing bollocks. I keep seeing verified accounts of people describing themselves as the 'Chelsea correspondent' or whatever as well, so who is consuming all of this shit?

[phonics]

Bayern have gone for the bloke who got sacked at Dortmund after falling out with everyone because he's a bit of a cunt. I get moving on from Carlo but lol.

[McAvennie]

And Ancelotti already hilariously linked with the West Ham not-yet-vacant position.

Not that I wouldn't run naked around the Stadio Olympico if it happened, but yeah

[Reg]

That'd be weird. It'd be interesting to see how good he is at a club like that.


One fixture worth the time still beats last weekend by one
Chelsea v Man City, presumably? That should be good. I suppose there's a chance that Chelsea will get an early goal and then make it tedious.

For biased reasons I'm looking forward to Sunday. Always glad when an away game of ours is picked for telly, and there's Milan v Roma at 5pm.

[ScousePig]

Down in the Championship, Simon Grayson has had a go at Sunderland fans.

http://www.chroniclelive.co.uk/sport/football/football-news/simon-grayson-lays-moaning-complaining-13695976

He's basically said those having a go are armchair fans coming out of the woodwork who have probably never been to Ipswich away. I don't think he possibly could have said anything worse.

He's under pressure and people want him gone already. I would say it's only a matter of time, but sacking him would cost money we probably don't have, and as he appears to be a bit of a 'yes man', he's probably exactly what Short wants anyway.

[John]

Huddersfield are suicidal here. Kane could get ten if they don't sort themselves out.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Fisting in progress.

[Waffdon]

Harry Kane is just so, so good.

[Ian]

Presumably in today's market, plus English tax, plus Levy tax, Kane won't be sold by Spurs for less than £4.5bn.

[John]

Is that complete donut at the back for Huddersfield the same Mathias Jorgensen who was once the best defender in Football Manager? He looks like he'd struggle to defend his dinner from a toddler never mind a Premiership goal from Harry Kane.

[Boydy]

He looks like he'd struggle to defend his dinner from a toddler

:D

[Baz]

Harry Kane is just so, so good.It’s outstanding. I can imagine being a Spurs fan watching him is almost as enjoyable as when Liverpool fans got to watch Suarez every week. #jelly

[John]

'Spurs have been the best team in the league in terms of amassing points over the last two seasons', says Red Nev. Well isn't that completely fucking meaningless then.

[Giggles]

It’s outstanding. I can imagine being a Spurs fan watching him is almost as enjoyable as when Liverpool fans got to watch Suarez every week. #jelly

#somehowabout :cool:

[John]

Dean Whitehead looks like he's been drawn by a beachfront caricaturist.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Imagine how good Kane would be if he didn't have cerebral palsy.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Palace :lol:

[Giggles]

I keep being really glad when I see Palace losing but it always takes a bit before I remember Allardyce isn't there.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Fellainimania doesn't even need his head.

Young with a brilliant ball again.

[bruhnaldo]

World Clashley Young === > Fellainimania :drool: x 10

[Lewis]

The 'World Clashley Young' stuff is barely even ironic anymore.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Berahino :lol:

[bruhnaldo]

The 'World Clashley Young' stuff is barely even ironic anymore.

Feels good knowing I've literally always rated him despite the world telling me I was crazy :drool:

[Shindig]

Down in the Championship, Simon Grayson has had a go at Sunderland fans.

http://www.chroniclelive.co.uk/sport/football/football-news/simon-grayson-lays-moaning-complaining-13695976

He's basically said those having a go are armchair fans coming out of the woodwork who have probably never been to Ipswich away. I don't think he possibly could have said anything worse.

He's under pressure and people want him gone already. I would say it's only a matter of time, but sacking him would cost money we probably don't have, and as he appears to be a bit of a 'yes man', he's probably exactly what Short wants anyway.

You can't really pop at the fans when they've had the last two years. All a fan can do at that point is voice frustration.

[Lewis]

Feels good knowing I've literally always rated him despite the world telling me I was crazy :drool:

Were you a member when he signed? Someone who shall remain nameless (Mahow) cried non-stop for about three weeks he was that against it.

[Lewis]

Speaking of which, was I the only person who thought Nemanja Matic was a top, top signing? He's been passing it about like just about past-it Paul Scholes today.

[Lewis]

Is 'dictating the tempo' still in use, or have the fifteen year old fan accounts moved the lingo on from Football Manager? 'The Wilshere Role'.

[bruhnaldo]

Were you a member when he signed? Someone who shall remain nameless (Mahow) cried non-stop for about three weeks he was that against it.

Oh yea I was all for it... thought he was going to be the next great #7 since he wore that at Villa :drool:


Speaking of which, was I the only person who thought Nemanja Matic was a top, top signing? He's been passing it about like just about past-it Paul Scholes today.

I wasn't convinced by the fee but I figured he could at least "do a job" but he's been immense this year.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

https://ichef.bbci.co.uk/live-experience/cps/624/cpsprodpb/vivo/live/images/2017/9/30/df811f7c-96a9-4c10-a9be-56bdf53044f2.png

Fellainimania :rave:

[Lewis]

If that song is so inaccurate, what is putting Lukaku off balance every time?

[niko_cee]

Is Arnautovic injured?

[Lewis]

He's just going to get thirty of those this year.

[Ian]

Running wild. :cool:

[Lewis]

Crystal Palace looked a bit less horrendous today, given that they had a few injuries, but fucking lol at no goals in seven games. I wonder who will actually take them down. It must be tenth time unlucky for Steve Coppell.

[Mellberg]

Young's delivery is unreal and always has been. Brilliant player. Has wasted the last 5 years though.

[Mellberg]

And since Jimmy coated the Villa off we've won four on the bounce. Thanks Jim :cool:

[Raoul Duke]

Silva shaving his hair off has completely thrown me. Looks so weird.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

When he first unveiled it, I thought City had bought Sneijder.

[Waffdon]

Fkn Willian :D

That makes absolutely no sense.

[Waffdon]

What an awful five minutes for him so far.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Had money on Morata to score :(

[Waffdon]

Had money on Morata to score :(

Hoping Sky Bet void it. They’re normally excellent.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Hoping Sky Bet void it. They’re normally excellent.

Mine was a betfair special with Jesus to score too. Doubt they'll refund.

[Raoul Duke]

Why did Morata come off? Injured?

[Giggles]

Why would they refund? Tough shit like.

[Waffdon]

Why would they refund? Tough shit like.

Faggot.

City deserve that - Conte absolutely fucked it.

[Giggles]

Faggot.

City deserve that - Conte absolutely fucked it.

What do you want? Get paid on the bets that turn up and get the ones that don't cancelled? :D Mong.

[Waffdon]

What do you want? Get paid on the bets that turn up and get the ones that don't cancelled? :D Mong.

No, I was stating Sky Bet are known for it with their Request of Bets. Of course I’m going to hope they’re feeling generous again.

Get back in your closet, ya pikey bastard. Smiffy is gon’ get you.

[Giggles]

Well for what it's worth I hope they don't :thbup:

[niko_cee]

This sounds like a bit of a donning.

[Gray Fox]

I only saw the last 20 minutes or so, but City had them completely smothered.

[John Arne]

Delph: "This was for Benji, if you're watching, that was for you, Big Man".

That attempted wink :D

https://gyazo.com/af123edcbe8e655c7ae045204014cdaa.gif

[Lewis]

He looks blacked up.

[Weaver]

Amiens vs Lens abandoned after a part of one of the stands collapsed:

914196811493060608

[Adramelch]

Delph: "This was for Benji, if you're watching, that was for you, Big Man".

That attempted wink :D

Isn't that just him blinking?

[Giggles]

That was a class cross for Utd's second. Everything seems more right when we've a strong Man U :drool:

[Giggles]

These game of the day things on Sky are far too long though. Nobody would avoid the result these days so there's no need for all the boring shit, 10 minutes of highlights would do.

[Waffdon]

Amiens vs Lens abandoned after a part of one of the stands collapsed:

914196811493060608

Tremendous scenes. Looks like a throwback to the 80s.

[Baz]

Top trolling from Delph there. He’s only getting games cos “Benji” is dead.

[Giggles]

Who is Benji?

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Mr. Chorizo.

[Giggles]

Is it Aguero because of the car crash?

[Baz]

Who is Benji?Mendy.

[Giggles]

I could have guessed for a month and never have landed on that. Is his name not Bernard Mendy anyway?

[Ian]

Benji. (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Benji)

[Kikó]

He used to support Blackburn.

[Giggles]

Benjamin Mendy :face:

[Waffdon]

That Saiz bloke for Leeds looks a bit good. Just runs at folk every time.

[Giggles]

Wednesday :cool:

[Waffdon]

The linesman with the worst offside call in history, there.

[-james-]

Brighton are gonna be fine I think. Stephens and March for England. :nodd:

[-james-]

That BT sport ad with Sutton, Jenas & Savage is the worst thing ever.

[Waffdon]

Koeman is dreadful.

[SvN]

He's made a right pigs ear of their team this season.

[-james-]

Ribery's just done his ACL I think, which has put a smile on my face.

[Lewis]

I had only seen Everton in the two Manchester games (one alright, one hopeless), but this game could have lasted a week and Burnley would have coasted the 1-0 home. Another team spending their major windfall on crap.

[Pen]

Bit of a cunty thing to say. (at Harmez)

The whole Everton team looks shit. Koeman will go during the break I think.

[five time]

It's like an FM save where the AI keeps buying big money signings for one position. They have Sigurdsson, Rooney, Klaasen and Barkley who all want to play off a striker but they have none and no wingers either.

Was Sigurdsson on the right of a 442 today if I'm reading the lineup right?

[Waffdon]

It's like an FM save where the AI keeps buying big money signings for one position. They have Sigurdsson, Rooney, Klaasen and Barkley who all want to play off a striker but they have none and no wingers either.

Was Sigurdsson on the right of a 442 today if I'm reading the lineup right?

Left mid, Vlasic was on the right - he’s a winger tbf but shite.

[Kikó]

I'm surprised Rooney has remained shite.

[Shindig]

Are we holding an applause for Freddy Shepherd? We bloody are. :D

[Danny]

I'm surprised Rooney has remained shite.

Lets just keep this beauty bumped.


£10 on Rooney getting 30+ goals.

Edit:

This one too after he scored once.


All those who laughed at me for saying Rooney would hit 30+ goals must be choking on their own vomit now.

[Mike]

I’ve got a fiver on BTTS both halves on the Liverpool game so get ready for a 0-0

[niko_cee]

That never seems to happen when the ball's pinging around in the Liverpool box following a set piece.

[John Arne]

I think I would genuinely prefer Woodbury or Solanke ahead of Sturridge. He's such a thick footballer, with a shite first touch and never competes for aerial balls.

[Danny]

Can’t kick a ball right either

[John Arne]

Offft, what a rocket.

[Danny]

Great hit from the former Inter and future Barca playmaker.

[Gray Fox]

Can't wait for the £150m bid in January.

[Boydy]

I think I would genuinely prefer Woodbury or Solanke ahead of Sturridge. He's such a thick footballer, with a shite first touch and never competes for aerial balls.

Yeah, I'm really starting to hate him.

Was he ever actually good or did Suarez just make him look good? Suarez could probably have made me look good that season.

[Mike]

Classic Liverpool

[randomlegend]

Even if Rooney had had a great season he wasn't getting close to 30 fucking goals.

[Waffdon]

Niko is going to be on suicide watch.

[John Arne]

FFS... Sturridge always standings far side of a defender, so whenever we break he is too far away from either Mane or Salah and doesn't make himself available.

And now he gives it away and it leads to a goal. Please fuck off.

[niko_cee]

Niko is going to be on suicide watch.

More than used to it, but that goal was taking the piss a bit.

At least he wasn't offside.

[Boydy]

If van Dijk isn't going to happen for Liverpool, they could do a lot worse than Lascelles.

[Reg]

Knockaert being dropped already is concerning. We were alright though, not sure there's much more we could have done.

Didn't think I'd see Fabio Borini as a right wing-back in Serie A.

[niko_cee]

Can't wait for the £150m bid in January.

For Van Dijk?

[Gray Fox]

Van Dijk wont fix anything. The midfield is far far too attacking. Watch the gap between the deepest midfielder and our centre backs every time the attack breaks down. 1 good ball through and you've got a 1v1.

But it's never going to change, so enjoy groundhog day.

[John Arne]

I'm not quite sure what else Gomez is expected to do there. It's not that high, and he wins the ball cleanly.

Also, why did Atsu go off - I thought if the oppo was booked, you didn't have to go off the pitch anymore??

[John Arne]

Van Dijk wont fix anything. The midfield is far far too attacking. Watch the gap between the deepest midfielder and our centre backs every time the attack breaks down. 1 good ball through and you've got a 1v1.

But it's never going to change, so enjoy groundhog day.

Yup. I like Henderson - but we need someone like Matic or 24yr old Lucas just to sit their and read the game.

[Foe]

Knockaert being dropped already is concerning. We were alright though, not sure there's much more we could have done.

Didn't think I'd see Fabio Borini as a right wing-back in Serie A.

Ac Milan are a pretty average team these days, so in the "he's pretty energetic" stance I can see why they've done it.

[Reg]

Re: Liverpool, the full backs are too gung ho as well. It doesn't seem to make sense as with the more direct play they're not going to keep the ball and pin the opposition back as often as a Pep team / current Real Madrid etc.

Foe Yeah, maybe. He wasn't too bad first half, although El Shaarawy had a lot more space than Florenzi the other side.

[niko_cee]

My lay Liverpool when Sturridge starts pays dividends again.

[Shindig]

If van Dijk isn't going to happen for Liverpool, they could do a lot worse than Lascelles.

Don't give them any ideas. Decent point that we could've binned or added to. At this point, Klopp might as well ditch defending in training and just get them to start finishing more.

[Adramelch]

Apparently Barcelona played in their 2nd shirt, the one with the Catalan colors, while Las Palmas played with a spanish flag on their shirt to support a united Spain. Bit silly.

[John Arne]

Behind closed doors, too. Mes Que Un Club.

[niko_cee]

They should just take that as the result of the referendum.

[bruhnaldo]

Two goals for that poncy midfield dickhead Isco :drool: