Weekend football 15/09 - 17/09

[-james-]

Why are people still using last weekend's thread? Fuck this place is a disgrace


Friday

https://i.imgur.com/W2Kvuye.png

Saturday

https://i.imgur.com/Lz05CYP.png

Sunday

https://i.imgur.com/3cIOQFg.png

[igor_balis]

I hope Pulis sees sense and doesn't go with Polish Man, Barry and Livermore as the midfield 3. Maybe krychowiak and barry with mozza as the #10. And Nyom at right back and Brunt/Gibbs left back.

[Jimmy Floyd]

I'm surprised Gibbs went there, I hadn't noticed him being 6 foot 5.

Sociedad to turn Madrid over on Sunday night.

[igor_balis]

I'm surprised Gibbs went there, I hadn't noticed him being 6 foot 5.
Aye, he might have signed him but at Brighton we went with Craig fucking Dawson at right back and moved right-back Nyom to left back. Never change, Tony.

[phonics]

The man hates left backs.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Left backs are brilliant. Full backs in general are my favourite players actually. Them and pure goal poaching strikers.

[igor_balis]

Agreed. On the latter, watching Kevin Phillips take apart the Championship 8 or so years ago was a bloody joy to watch, and on the former, Igor Balis is a cult right back we had in the early 00s.

[phonics]

Remember when Lee Hughes was good?

[CJay]

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-41280150

Clarke Carlisle's gone missing, apparently. I thought he was hit by a train or something, or was threatening to jump in front of one? Have I totally made that up?

[John]

It's beyond me why BT keep putting Sutton on our games.

Their advert for whatever their new panel show is with Sutton and Savage furiously bantering seems to be designed to showcase what insufferable bellends they are.

[John]

Ally McCoist being told he needs to 'get out more' because he knows that Argentina are struggling to qualify for the World Cup is a new low in the gleeful ignorance of our football coverage.

[Bob Sacamano]

Charlie Daniels is great fun.

[Jimmy Floyd]

This Bournemouth v Brighton game is a sad, sad spectacle. Bournemouth are going down and probably not getting 30 points. Brighton, meanwhile, are approaching the game as if they're San Marino and any foray into the opposition half is cause for a national holiday.

[Weaver]

All 22 players look scared to take a risk, so far. Defoe/King have no chemistry as a strikeforce and Hemed/Gross are doing exactly the same as each other.

No added on time at the end of the half sums it up.

[Lewis]

Eddie Howe looks like a cross between Zac Goldsmith and Tommy Robinson.

[Jimmy Floyd]

There's no more certain Tory voter in the Premier League than Eddie Howe, unless Franks Lampard sr and jr still count.

[niko_cee]

This Bournemouth v Brighton game is a sad, sad spectacle. Bournemouth are going down and probably not getting 30 points. Brighton, meanwhile, are approaching the game as if they're San Marino and any foray into the opposition half is cause for a national holiday.

:D

There can't have been many more toothless teams than Brighton knocking around the Premier League years. I still can't believe they managed to score last week, let alone put 3 past a "Tony Pulis Team". Desperately need an actual striker, bless old Hemed. Maybe Izquierdo can speedster them something from the game.

[Lewis]

There's no more certain Tory voter in the Premier League than Eddie Howe, unless Franks Lampard sr and jr still count.

I would put money on Steven Gerrard being a secret Conservative voter.

[Jimmy Floyd]

I really like Solly March as a player. One of those who I've seen play in about 20 different positions and always done a good job. England could, and do, do worse.

[Ian]

I think I'm actually confident for Sunday. God help me.

[Lewis]

I'm more excited about the probable return of Big Fat Luke Shaw in the midweek League Cup game.

[niko_cee]

Is Jamie Carragher Ibe's agent or something? I'm not having this 'Jordon' rubbish. Dele Alli can fuck off with it as well.

I'm curious as to where you've seen March play Jim, not that he isn't decent. He's featured for England in age group games I think.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Is Jamie Carragher Ibe's agent or something? I'm not having this 'Jordon' rubbish. Dele Alli can fuck off with it as well.

I'm curious as to where you've seen March play Jim, not that he isn't decent. He's featured for England in age group games I think.

On telly a lot last season, and once live randomly (which is worth TV 5 games for appreciating a player like that).

As for Dele Alli, I see he's been signed by Mendes, if he couldn't come across as more of a colossal arsehole that will make him do so.

[niko_cee]

I meant more positionally.

Brighton's route to survival is figuring out how best to obtain corners, as that's about their only attacking threat. I dread to think what it'll be like when we're down there in early December. Triple captain Dunk for that one.

[Reg]

Shame, as we were alright the first hour. We hadn't created much but neither had they. Lost the plot a bit for the last half hour.

The huge downside of Dunk's block-happy style is when he goes diving in like a melon for the equaliser.

[Jimmy Floyd]

I meant more positionally.

Brighton's route to survival is figuring out how best to obtain corners, as that's about their only attacking threat. I dread to think what it'll be like when we're down there in early December. Triple captain Dunk for that one.

I reckon I've seen him on both flanks, in the centre of midfield and at right back, though it's possible I've imagined some of those.

I think they'll just about, and I mean just about, stay up. Unlike Bournemouth they're not going to get fisted in every away game.

[Reg]

I think you may have merged him with another player. The 'both flanks' bit is right, and he's been used sparingly behind the striker. Definitely an exciting player.

[ScousePig]

I really like Solly March as a player. One of those who I've seen play in about 20 different positions and always done a good job. England could, and do, do worse.

Yeah I like him too when I've seen him. They have another wide-ish player I've liked when I've seen him, although it's been very few and far between. I think he might be called Murphy.

[igor_balis]

I still miss Shane Long. Such a hard worker.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Nice to see Loftus-Cheek continue to amble around like a lazy fuck under the false impression he has achieved anything in his life.

[Boydy]

I completely missed Southampton getting rid of Puel.

[CJay]

I know it’s only Palace, but Lemina looks quality for Southampton.

[Giggles]

I still miss Shane Long. Such a hard worker.

I completely forgot he was ever there.

[CJay]

Hard work doesn’t really make up for a complete lack of goals from your lone striker. He’s good for a big cheer from the crowd when he runs really hard and barges someone off the ball, but he’s probably not good enough to start at this level.

[igor_balis]

Hard work doesn’t really make up for a complete lack of goals from your lone striker. He’s good for a big cheer from the crowd when he runs really hard and barges someone off the ball, but he’s probably not good enough to start at this level.

I see your point, but I think that kind of player can work in specific circumstances. It worked with us, because

a) our midfielders bombed forward and scored a lot of the goals, especially the wide players

b) once Long had knackered defenders for an hour, we could send on bloody Lukaku to take advantage

[niko_cee]

Just seen Palace's next 3 fixtures. Problematic, particularly if they lose this one.

[Waffdon]

Nice to see Loftus-Cheek continue to amble around like a lazy fuck under the false impression he has achieved anything in his life.

He's been their best player by a mile today and was voted their best player last month. Benteke's finishing has just been awful.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Long has absolutely no intention of scoring goals, or even taking shots. It's not what he's in the team to do.

[Jimmy Floyd]

He's been their best player by a mile today and was voted their best player last month. Benteke's finishing has just been awful.
Not just his finishing, everything Benteke does is awful.

[igor_balis]

Top commentary, there.

[Waffdon]

Commentators just had an absolute mare there :D

I don't know how James McArthur is a profession footballer.

[igor_balis]

I was only half paying attention, but I think what happened was: co-commentator waxin lyrical about Southampton midfielder, commentator says "yeah he was left out by De Boer in his last game" errrr, that's Crystal Palace not Southampton. Then he realises his error, and corrects himself by saying he was getting confused with Ward-Prowse. Also a Southampton player.

[Giggles]

I see your point, but I think that kind of player can work in specific circumstances. It worked with us, because

a) our midfielders bombed forward and scored a lot of the goals, especially the wide players

b) once Long had knackered defenders for an hour, we could send on bloody Lukaku to take advantage

The missing piece in that scenario is more likely to be Lukaku than Shane Long.

[Jimmy Floyd]

This Palace team is just packed full of players who need to be taken to the knacker's yard. Andros Townsend is another one. If my decision making was as bad as his, I'd be dead.

[igor_balis]

Andros is a player I always thought was shite. I remember saying this at the pub, and a load of the FOOTBALL BANTZ LADZ who were the "popular kids" at my school took the piss and implied I only thought that because I didn't actually play football. I'm not sure what relevance this anecdote has to anything, but whatever.

[Lewis]

There has been a whiff of Sunderland about them since some time last year (I would like to put it on Alan Pardew dancing, but it probably pre-dates that), so what a don Big Sam is.

[Jimmy Floyd]

There you go, Roy giving Ruben the hook, me and Roy are football experts.

[Waffdon]

This commentator is fucking pathetic.

[CJay]

Palace have just been laying the ball back to a defender to punt into the box for the last 20 minutes of this match. Totally devoid of any creativity.

[igor_balis]

Barry, Krychowiak and Morrison midfield today, very happy with that. And we've got a left-back playing at left-back! I can just about accept Dawson at right back.

[Gray Fox]

Liverpool: Mignolet, Alexander-Arnold, Matip, Klavan, Robertson, Can, Milner, Salah, Coutinho, Firmino, Sturridge.

Subs: Karius, Wijnaldum, Lovren, Henderson, Moreno, Oxlade-Chamberlain, Solanke.

That's just all out attack, everywhere. There's 1 capable defender in the entire 18.

[Boydy]

Moreno not starting though!

[Gray Fox]

Moreno deserves some slack. He's started well this season. He's been great as an attacking full-back. Just the centre-back on his side is utter wank. Either Lovren or Klavan.

[Boydy]

Fuck off, he's shite.

[Danny]

There you go, Roy giving Ruben the hook, me and Roy are football experts.

Probably not a comparison you want to make for yourself.

Palace next 3 games in the league:

City (A)
United (A)
Chelsea (H)

They could have zero points and goals after 8 games :drool:

[SvN]

Burnley fighting the good fight.

[Gray Fox]

What kind of shite was that from the two centre backs?

[John Arne]

Salah :drool:

[John Arne]

What kind of shite was that from the two centre backs?

I've no idea why Klavan came across and completely left his man. Awful stuff.

[Waffdon]

Jesus and Aguero are going to run riot all year. They should piss this league if Kompany stays fit long enough. An upgrade on Fernandinho/Otamendi and they're complete. Hopefully 'Pep' fucks it.

[mugbull]

Coutinho :D

It's incredible that Barcelona were ever willing to spend that much money on him, and just as unbelievable that Liverpool said no. He's the most hot and cold player on earth

[John Arne]

Sturridge really should be able to hold the ball up by now.... useless prick.

[Giggles]

Coutinho :D

It's incredible that Barcelona were ever willing to spend that much money on him, and just as unbelievable that Liverpool said no. He's the most hot and cold player on earth

Piss and wind merchant. Few highlight reel goals keeps the aura alive.

[Boydy]

Had Liverpool and Burnley drawing in an accumulator today. Shame the other results didn't come off.

But that was always going to be one of those games where Liverpool struggle.

[Gray Fox]

And so the cycle continues. A competent centre back to partner Matip and we probably pick up a 1-0 win against a tough Burnley team. As it is we're lucky to claim a draw.

[niko_cee]

Whenever you see Sturridge on the team sheet for Liverpool at home you should lay the fuck out of them. At the very least you'll be able to trade out for a profit when they're toiling in the second half. He really isn't suited to dealing with a parked bus.

[Shindig]

What are we doing in 4th? :D

[John Arne]

Ince and Schmeichel :)

https://gyazo.com/f02937a84c0c50cf7da986b3dbd781e2.png

https://gyazo.com/9b33442403723258fdf634e7ed281b63.png

[John]

Commentators just had an absolute mare there :D

I don't know how James McArthur is a profession footballer.

My mate, who now fits radiators, partnered him in central midfield from U12 to U15 and was always the better of the two.

[-james-]

My mate, who now fits radiators, partnered him in central midfield from U12 to U15 and was always the better of the two.

Sounds like a story someone who fits radiators for a living would tell about the time they played with a premier league footballer.

[John]

Sounds like a story someone who fits radiators for a living would tell about the time they played with a premier league footballer.

If you were going to pick a player to make that boast about surely you'd pick someone better than James McArthur. It does but we've been mates since I was seven, so I saw plenty of those games and he actually was the better player.

[Gray Fox]

'arry has gone from Birmingham.

[mugbull]

Fucking Swansea

[7om]

We really are an absolute joke of a football club at this stage. Embarrassing in every way.

[Giggles]

Preston :cool:

[Danny]

We really are an absolute joke of a football club at this stage. Embarrassing in every way.

Sacked as well. I figured it would be him running away complaining about his gammy knee.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Why was Pep seething about the penalty taker when 5-0 up in the 89th minute? Is he so perfectionist he's thinking about goal difference in September?

[Samadini]

What are we doing in 4th? :D

:cool:

Lascelles will get all the attention at the back with his match winning goals, but Clark is turning into one of the best signings we've made for ages. He's genuinely really good and clearly a leader, but seems happy to let Lascelles grow into that role, doesn't seem to have an ego about him at all. Exactly the kind of player the team had been lacking for a while.

[Weaver]

Are we thinking Lascelles and Clark are going to carry on at CB then? The first game was Clark and Lejeune, and actually I've been impressed by Mbemba in the games I've seen too. Nice problem to have, I guess.

[Samadini]

It's definitely an awkward one as you'd think Lascelles is the weakest of the bunch, but you can actually see him improving all the time, he's clearly being coached well and working hard (can't remember the last time we've been able to say that about players in a Newcastle side) and obviously he's captain.

Benitez dropped Mbemba after the Wolves game last year and seemed to hate him after that, I read it was down to Mbemba ignoring instructions, but he was good when brought back for the run in last season and has done well here out of position, so might have won back some trust.

As you say, nice to actually have that problem, rather than worrying about which shitcunt is going to fuck up each week. Will be interesting to see who will play the most games.

[Shindig]

:cool:

Lascelles will get all the attention at the back with his match winning goals, but Clark is turning into one of the best signings we've made for ages. He's genuinely really good and clearly a leader, but seems happy to let Lascelles grow into that role, doesn't seem to have an ego about him at all. Exactly the kind of player the team had been lacking for a while.

I don't want to jinx Clark. When he signed, all I could remember him for was own goals. Remember when we went years without scoring from corners? Lascalles is the player Steven Taylor wanted to be. Our run of fixtures looks decent, too. Might be nicely positioned when we go to United in November. I'm getting ahead of myself. Great.

[Waffdon]

Chelsea could have had an absolute field day today if they played Bakayoko/Kante together. Their bench has went from being a shambles to one of the best in the league.

[Max Power]

Some hattrick from Dybala. Every goal a beauty.

[Jimmy Floyd]

I have to say, playing Fabregas as part of a two against a team that has some sort of pace in it does not fill me with confidence. I'd have benched Pedro and played Bakayoko or, if he's not fit which I imagine he isn't, even played David Luiz in midfield again.

[SincereTheRebel]

No ozil in the starting 11 is good news. It would have been better in my opinion to also not start ramsey. El neney would have been a better defensive option.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Table football with Mark Strong & Taron Egerton vs Kevin Bridges & Matthew Vaughn?

That's what Sky have been missing.

Edit: Kevin Bridges? lol, Jeff.

[Waffdon]

I have to say, playing Fabregas as part of a two against a team that has some sort of pace in it does not fill me with confidence. I'd have benched Pedro and played Bakayoko or, if he's not fit which I imagine he isn't, even played David Luiz in midfield again.

Xhaka and Ramsey as a two so Kante should be fine on his own. Wenger will never learn.

[phonics]

Interesting choice to go for Iwobi, Wenger thinking giving away possession in attack being a bigger issue than the Xhaka, Ramsey axis is a weird one.

Same team that beat them in the community shield. That's what he said about the team that played against Liverpool (in respect of the FA Cup final) and that went swimmingly.

Will be interesting to see how the 3 at the back deal with Morata who's far less of a headcase than Costa which was clearly the issue in the previously mentioned final.

Thank christ Hazard is still injured is all I can say.

[Waffdon]

Offfft, Cahill is playing. Rip

[Reg]

Interesting choice to go for Iwobi, Wenger thinking giving away possession in attack being a bigger issue than the Xhaka, Ramsey axis is an weird one.
I think the Arsenal attack might be about having loads of speed to stretch Chelsea's back three.

[phonics]

909388907464331264

Woof.

[Reg]

Ramsey was already off wandering before that Pedro shot. Do they just practice keepy uppies during training?

[Waffdon]

Pedro :D

What was he even doing?

[SvN]

Trying to be too clever.

[Pen]

Decent game so far. Arsenal looking surprisingly competent.

[Waffdon]

Gary Cahill again :D

Absolute fraud.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Lacazette :D

[Foe]

That David Luiz failed overhead kick is exactly why Mane shouldn't have been sent off.

As Jim etc said, he kicked him in the face, therefore should that also be a red card? No chance.

Accidental collisions are going to be part of football.

[Waffdon]

They were completely different.

[Spikey M]

That David Luiz failed overhead kick is exactly why Mane shouldn't have been sent off.

As Jim etc said, he kicked him in the face, therefore should that also be a red card? No chance.

Accidental collisions are going to be part of football.

Mate. MATE. They're not even in the same ball park.

[Pen]

Yeah, definitely unfair to get sent off after going studs up on someones face.

[Giggles]

That David Luiz failed overhead kick is exactly why Mane shouldn't have been sent off.

As Jim etc said, he kicked him in the face, therefore should that also be a red card? No chance.

Accidental collisions are going to be part of football.

Yeah, no.

[Lewis]

Fellainimania running wild from the off, with Antonio Valencia and World Clashley Young as full-backs. :drool:

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Odds on Fellainimania elbowing Rooney?

[Lewis]

I once thought that winning the league with Wayne Rooney in midfield was the lollest possible way to do it, but if they did it with Ashley Young becoming the regular left-back it would blow that out of the water.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

https://ichef.bbci.co.uk/live-experience/cps/624/cpsprodpb/vivo/live/images/2017/9/17/8376f782-881a-414d-855c-3def4e4fbb16.png

Beeb reckon that Mata has blacked up for this.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Conte dropped the ball slightly there, Pedro was pointless and we should have started Bakayoko if he was halfway fit.

[SincereTheRebel]

Good to see arsenal play like a team. If ozil played any part in this, they would have lost.

Ozil should only feature in home games against shit teams. Yeah, im going that far

[Waffdon]

Everton have some good players but their lack of pace/width and the fact Williams and/or Jagielka start every game will fuck them.

[phonics]

Losing Wellbeck was a massive blow there. Thought taking Lacazette for Sanchez instead of Iwobi was a mistake but eh, I'll take the point.

Ramsey getting motm over Monreal is a shocker. Got in Moratas head from the off to the point even Mustafi being an idiot couldn't pay off.

[Jimmy Floyd]

The Ramsey man of the match decision was hilarious. Well done Aaron, you weren't run over like a drugged up hedgehog.

[bruhnaldo]

World Clashley Young about to drop two perfect dimes on Lukaku's dome :drool:

[Pen]

I thought Mustafi was the best player on the pitch.

For the money Everton spent last summer I don't think their team is worse than it was.

edit: Maybe that's a bit harsh, but they don't look like a team that could dislodge any of the top six.

[SvN]

Surprised at how crap Chelsea were today.

We should piss this, Everton have been awful so far this season.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

acestream://92376ea16e80c90f2727c49e05fc5e4b75eae3e9

One of the best acestreams I've used. It's flawless.

[Jimmy Floyd]

The arty filter on the player profile pictures on Sky Sports properly wind me up. It's not a serial drama ffs, and Cuco Martina is not in an edgy boy band.

[SvN]

Thanks for that 'How, much better than the one I was using.

[Ian]

Fucking Tony V. :cool:

[Lewis]

Best ball he's struck since 2012.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Thunderbolt.

That's a proper hit.

[SvN]

What a fucking goal that is.

[Waffdon]

Thundercunt :drool:

[Pen]

Woof. That was brilliant.

[phonics]

I am loving Koeman being shown up for the charlatan he is when he cant put 11 behind the ball and kick you up in the air.

[Lewis]

There could be a great YouTube video of Juan Mata celebrating other people's goals.

[Ian]

There could be a great YouTube video of Juan Mata celebrating other people's goals.

Would it be as good as the Darren Fletcher one? There was a period of about three years at United where Fletcher was first to celebrate with / jump on the goalscorer what seemed like every goal United scored.

[Waffdon]

Is Neville taking the piss regarding Pickford saving that strike?

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Everton might want to try bringing a few more men back into defence.

[Lewis]

Would it be as good as the Darren Fletcher one? There was a period of about three years at United where Fletcher was first to celebrate with / jump on the goalscorer what seemed like every goal United scored.

Probably how he mashed his intestines up.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Is Neville taking the piss regarding Pickford saving that strike?

He's talked a stream of absolute guff, even by his standards, ever since this kicked off. Topped off with 'This is Everton Football Club.' as a standalone sentence.

[SvN]

I keep thinking Matic is Jonny Evans.

[niko_cee]

Topped off with 'This is Everton Football Club.' as a standalone sentence.

:D

I noticed that too.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

:sick:

[Lewis]

That was an expected goal.

[Pen]

Should've scored there. Awful finish.

[Ian]

How many chances was it Andy Cole was said to require to score one? And is Lukaku better or worse on that front?

[Jimmy Floyd]

Tom Davies is a fucking quality player and needs to be an England starter asap.

[Giggles]

Tom Davies is a fucking quality player and needs to be an England starter asap.

He'll get a move to Liverpool next summer and be with Hull by 2020.

[John Arne]

I've never really appreciated just how shit Morgan Schneiderlin is. No wonder Utd farmed him out so quickly.

[John Arne]

Also, why are Everton playing a flat back 8?

[niko_cee]

That's pretty much what everyone south of 6th do these days.

Actually, were Everton the original bus parkers?

[Jimmy Floyd]

Did Rooney used to play for United?

[Giggles]

Did Rooney used to play for United?

He used to be able to finish too.

[ScousePig]

There has been a whiff of Sunderland about them since some time last year (I would like to put it on Alan Pardew dancing, but it probably pre-dates that), so what a don Big Sam is.

Exactly what I thought watching them yesterday. The whole place seems a bit resigned to relegation at the moment.

[Baz]

I love it how bad Everton are.

[John Arne]

Why is Rooney still on the pitch? He's playing shit. Bring DCL on.....

[Jimmy Floyd]

Gylfi is playing in some other match in the Icelandic third division. No idea why he took Davies off.

[Lewis]

Everton should build the side around Rooney clipping balls to the right-back.

[John Arne]

Gylfi is playing in some other match in the Icelandic third division. No idea why he took Davies off.

Indeed. Davies looked a little tired, but he was Everton's best, and most creative player by a mile.

[SvN]

That foul on Lingard is a perfect example of why you shouldn't try to stay on your feet.

[Lewis]

United's front six have been shit, and Lukaku looks hungover.

[Waffdon]

Rooney just slows absolutely everything down.

[Jimmy Floyd]

United's front six have been shit, and Lukaku looks hungover.

He looked good before that miss, but it seems to be haunting him. I presume bringing Lingard on was one of those 'messages to the board' that managers are supposed to do.

[Waffdon]

Why would you stay 5 at the back? :face:

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

That was nice.

[Waffdon]

Ashley Williams and his pathetic hair fucks up at least twice a game.

[Lewis]

That was alright though. This would definitely have finished 1-1 at any point between 2014 and this morning, so the title is guaranteed.

[Weaver]

Is Sigurdsson playing alongside Schneiderlin here? Looks like a front three of Sandro with Mirallas and Calvert Lewin.

Why won't gaffers drop their back three systems in games like this? Pochettino had everyone in the Swansea half for the last 20 minutes yesterday, but he wouldn't take off any of his back three and then they had Dier mopping up in front. Should've lobbed Dembele on, and Koeman should stick Besic or someone on for Williams, so Sigurdsson can get involved up top.

[Lewis]

lol at the SEETHING Everton fans there.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Romelu :cool:

[Giggles]

That's a goal to paper over the cracks.

[SvN]

Hulk Hogan style ear-cupping :cool:

[Lewis]

Him being Everton's leading Premiership goalscorer sounds surprising when you first hear it, but then you remember that they were shit forever, Tomasz Radzinski was barely there, and that Duncan Ferguson never actually scored any goals.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

What a crumble in the last 5 minutes.

[niko_cee]

Unlucky Jimmy.

Everton are so wank.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Everton have bungled their way into the rellie zone here.

[Waffdon]

Martial is far too good to be on the bench.

Swear every Man Utd game has been 1-0 and then a blitz of goals at the end.

[Reg]

I reckon we could finish above Everton this season, they look really bad.

United looked like 'play badly and win' title winners. Should be them v City all the way, I think.

[Jimmy Floyd]

I'm sticking to my unbeaten shout. They have the best shot stopper, the best defensive coach and enough not shit players going forward that they shouldn't fail to score very often. That said, losing Pogba for this length of time is a big blow.

We'll be a strong third, maybe second if one of them shit the bed. Fourth is up for grabs.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Sociedad-Madrid will be good kicking off shortly. Adnan Januzaj's barmy army to crush the Ronaldo-less monster.

[niko_cee]

United look very much like Mourinho's Chelsea who were very adept at running up the score without ever looking in any way actually threatening as an attacking force.

It doesn't feel great hoping that 'Pep' can fight the good fight.

[Pleb]

I'm sticking to my unbeaten shout. They have the best shot stopper, the best defensive coach and enough not shit players going forward that they shouldn't fail to score very often. That said, losing Pogba for this length of time is a big blow.

We'll be a strong third, maybe second if one of them shit the bed. Fourth is up for grabs.
Man Utd
Man City
Chelsea
Tottenham/Liverpool

^Top four...

[Shindig]

Liverpool aren't making top four. They ship too many and can't finish.

[Yevrah]

Him being Everton's leading Premiership goalscorer sounds surprising when you first hear it, but then you remember that they were shit forever, Tomasz Radzinski was barely there, and that Duncan Ferguson never actually scored any goals.

With the actual reason being that David Moyes killed strikers.

[Lewis]

I'm sure Andy Johnson and Yakubu would have been rattling in thirty a season under anybody else.

[Waffdon]

Jermaine Beckford, Marcus Bent, Nikica Jelavic, Louis Saha, Landon Donovan, James Vaughan. :sick:

[Lewis]

Louis Saha was the only one with 'quality', and he was an actual cripple.

[Yevrah]

I'm sure Andy Johnson and Yakubu would have been rattling in thirty a season under anybody else.

Thirty? If a striker scored 10 under Moyes he was having a blinding season.

[Jimmy Floyd]

The 'otherwise disappointing Everton strikers' are the most dangerous players in the league. Denis Stracqualursi was fucking deadly.

Oumar Niasse is like Pele without the erection issues.

[Waffdon]

Niasse is the pick of the bunch. Christ, they've had some shite.

[Danny]

Cant forget this one. (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Joe-Max_Moore)

[Jimmy Floyd]

Victor Anichebe is now playing for Beijing Enterprises in the Chinese second division.

[Ian]

Has anybody better represented the idea of stealing a living in the Premier League than Victor Anichebe as a striker? For players who were actually playing regularly.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Steady on, a goal every 7.3 games is a solid return.

[John]

Nikica Jelavic was shit hot as long as he only had time to touch the ball once. Two touches and it was game over.

[Ian]

I can't imagine Hernandez had many for United where he took more than one touch.

Obviously his very first was one of the exceptions when he kicked it in off his own face in the charity shield.

[phonics]

The real answer is Danny Graham.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-41305915

Free money.

[Jimmy Floyd]

https://ichef.bbci.co.uk/news/624/cpsprodpb/1A8A/production/_97849760_e1d858b1-e9ee-479f-990c-577867a787cd.jpg

I lolled.

[Kikó]

Is that our Wayne?

[Jimmy Floyd]

Your Wayne, not my Wayne. Two year driving ban and 100 hours community service.

What does community service actually involve? Cooking meals for the homeless?

[Lewis]

Probably coming out of international retirement.

[Kikó]

He had already spent a few hours picking up trash the other night.

[Lewis]

The fun police (http://www.football365.com/news/lukaku-24-inch-penis-song-is-branded-racist) have struck. He's going to have to measure it for them.

[Jimmy Floyd]

It is marginally preferable to Alvaro Morata hating the fucking yids, I'll give it that.

[Lewis]

Their best bet for that is to dispute the Tottenham connection, and try to prove that a majority of Spaniards are anti-Semites (which they probably are).

[Jimmy Floyd]

http://www.bbc.co.uk/sport/football/41317495


It says the lyrics, about the size of the Belgium striker's penis, are "offensive and discriminatory".

What a clause. I reckon they could have bunged a few more bland describing words in before 'penis' though, if they were really trying.