My Wife's In Labour

[Baz]

https://www.growtopiagame.com/forums/images/smilies/willy.gif

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Name it after me.

[The Merse]

Good luck lad.

[Waffdon]

Love it. Get the Snapchat's rolling.

[Pleb]

:cool:

[-james-]

Name it after the board. Doug.

[Shindig]

Henry. The only option.

[Mike]

According to my work this isn't a good enough reason for me to have a day off.

Good luck Baz.

[Shindig]

"But it's mine."

Sorted, Mike.

[Magic]

Enjoy having your lives ruined.

[Lewis]

Henry. The only option.

Seconded.

[phonics]

Hennorz

[Giggles]

Enjoy having your lives ruined.

That would be my thinking too.

[SincereTheRebel]

International Superstar Soccer Pro Evolution

[Spikey M]

Yeah, Henry. Or Henrietta.

[Adamski]

My friends mum growing up was called Henrietta Dick, which was always enjoyable unless you were Henry.

[Weaver]

Let's name it after Mark, Dugout legend.

Best of luck, Baz.

[phonics]

Rule 1. No Marks allowed.

[Kikó]

The obvious answer is reg.

I don't know how this has happened Baz but congrats.

[Disco]

I blame The Reid.

[phonics]

I don't know how this has happened Baz but congrats.

When a man and a woman love each other very much...

[Pepe]

Jeremy.

[SincereTheRebel]

When a man and a woman love each other very much...

Loves it raw.

[Raoul Duke]

Good luck Baz.

I still can't reconcile 'Baz the husband/father/home owner' with the floppy-haired scamp gurning at the camera and harassing idiots in shit nightclubs

[Mike]

He still does that too.

[Spoonsky]

Since Baz still has the face of a baby, do you think the baby will have the face of a 30-year-old? Like a Scouse Benjamin Button.

[Alex]

Good luck Baz. Unfortunately I don't have any advice for you. I'm sure these things just fall in to place once an actual baby exists that you need to take care of though. It'll be fine.

How old are we thinking before the kid gets it's own TTH account? Next generation right there.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Knowing Baz, he'll set up an account within a week for it.

[Shindig]

And then include him / her in all their Football Manager network games.

[7om]

Good luck, Baz.

[Magic]

Knowing Baz, he'll set up an account within a week for it.

Has he handed out advertisement cards to the nursing staff?

[Foe]

The future GS generation.

Hope it all goes well chief.

[Spikey M]

He's a virgin so I don't see how it could possibly be his.

[Baz]

Sorted it lads. :cool:

[Lewis]

Shoved it back in.

[Disco]

Sorted it lads. :cool:

Congrats man, what flavour did you get?

[Baz]

Congrats man, what flavour did you get?Pink.

[Foe]

Zink is the perfect name.

[Pleb]

She's going to be a right minx I bet.

[Baz]

Of course she is.

Takes after Magic's wife me.

[John]

She's going to be a right minx I bet.

What an incredibly strange and unsettling thing to say about a newborn baby.

[Gray Fox]

Congrats Baz.

Just make sure to leave some TTH cards in waiting rooms around the place.

[Shindig]

She has her dad's ears, I'll bet.

[Spikey M]

She's going to be a right minx I bet.

:D u wot m8

[ScousePig]

'Henrietta - Garden Soccer Legend!'

A glimpse into the future of TTH. Congratulations, by the way.

[Giggles]

She's going to be a right minx I bet.

Well that's a rapey as fuck thing to say.

[McAvennie]

Congratulations

[Jimmy Floyd]

Many congrats. With genes from Baz, and someone who consciously decided to marry Baz, I'm sure you'll have a lot of fun together.

Pleb probably meant it as in Minnie the Minx, not as in signs outside shops in Soho.

[SvN]

Congrats Baz. I'll probably be reviving this thread around this time next year :|

[Boydy]

I can't get my head around this at all but congratulations, Baz.

[SincereTheRebel]

If

[niko_cee]

Are you going to give her a name 20% of the grandparents hate (http://www.telegraph.co.uk/education/2017/09/13/fifth-grandparents-hate-grandchildrens-names-survey-finds/)?

[Mike]

Met her this afternoon and she's amazing :wub:

[Boydy]

If Baz doesn't do some sort of Lion King style video to just introduce her to TTH, I'm going to be disappointed.

[Browning]

Congrats Baz. My little one is 2 and a half now. It's tough work but so worth it.

[Baz]

How horrific was the whole situation? That's all I want to know.Epidurals are life, mate. Pubs should sell them; I'd be bankrupt.

And it's all about the midwife. Ours was amazing and the same one from start to finish, which I think made a massive difference. Plus I got sent home before the dreaded first poo so swerved that one. :baz:

[mugbull]

First poo of your daughter? Or first poo of your wife post-daughter? I bet both are stinky.

[mugbull]

That reminds me - do unborn infants not have to pee or poop? Is it all done through the umbilical cord? Or do they just shit shit shit inside the woman's vagina?

[mo]

That reminds me - do unborn infants not have to pee or poop? Is it all done through the umbilical cord? Or do they just shit shit shit inside the woman's vagina?

I think a basic biology lesson may be required.

Congrats Baz. I watched MotD at 2.30 this morning as 10 month old decided it was time for a break from sleeping. So yeah. I recommend you have a decent series ready to watch at those weird times in the morning. I watched most of South Park doing night feeds.

[Spikey M]

That reminds me - do unborn infants not have to pee or poop? Is it all done through the umbilical cord? Or do they just shit shit shit inside the woman's vagina?

They're not meant to poo until they're born. Sometimes they do it inside when distressed and it can cause major problems for both the mother and baby.

Bad, the 'first poo' is misleading, it's more a series of tar like shite. You ain't off the hook yet.

[Spikey M]

I think a basic biology lesson may be required.

Congrats Baz. I watched MotD at 2.30 this morning as 10 month old decided it was time for a break from sleeping. So yeah. I recommend you have a decent series ready to watch at those weird times in the morning. I watched most of South Park doing night feeds.

I watched Breaking Bad in its entirety during my daughters 12 weeks of colic. Every cloud.

[Magic]

Baz. :cool:

[niko_cee]

Meconium.

:sick:

+1 for the pain intervention as well. Fuck the NCT, get in there with the diamorphine and epidural ASAP.

[Baz]

Bump.Protip: epidurals are life.

Good luck.

[Mazuuurk]

Yeah thats what I found with any fears I had about having kids: nothing is worse than the whole labour process (and maybe the few days after it, which sort of is included). So from then you generally just get positively surprised.

Anyway, I hear, up until the teens.

[Spikey M]

You clearly didn’t have a kid with Colic.

[Giggles]

Never could see the point in them at all but you probably need your own I suppose. Thankfully the Mrs has zero wish for them either.

[Mazuuurk]

You clearly didn’t have a kid with Colic.


No, true.

That seems like some sort of really extended form of torture.

[Spikey M]

No, true.

That seems like some sort of really extended form of torture.

Fucking horrific. 3 months of screaming, for 3 hours, (nearly) every night.

Then it took us 9 months to get her in a cot because we could only stop the screaming by letting her sleep being held. On the plus side, I did manage to watch Breaking Bad and a few other series that had been on my to do list.

[Adamski]

Never could see the point in them at all but you probably need your own I suppose. Thankfully the Mrs has zero wish for them either.

Surely the point is rather obvious.

[Giggles]

Surely the point is rather obvious.

To wipe your chin/arse when you're old? That thought had entered my head before when I thought about it but I don't know if it outweighs putting in 16-20 years for the privilege.

[Spikey M]

There’s a couple of main points to them, none of which are to wipe my arse (mainly because I’m not a sinister nonce).

1) Because for all their faults, kids are fun and rewarding in their own right.

2) Because otherwise the mussies will take over, innit.

Also - fuck giving all my stuff to the government when I carc it.

[Giggles]

I just can't see them as anything other than a complete nuisance.

[Spikey M]

Probably a good job you’re not having them then lad.

Sad to see Ireland fall to the Islamic sword though.

[Giggles]

The Poles won't let it go that easy.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

We're not interested in the tinpot place.

Suck it dry before moving on.

[Magic]

LR. :cool:

The child. :console:

[Giggles]

We're not interested in the tinpot place.

Suck it dry before moving on.

Yeah. You're not Polish.

[Spikey M]

And the Ukrainian certainly didn’t suck it dry before moving on.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

:D

ffs.

[Shindig]

Heh. Magic can't smack his kid now. :D

[John]

And the Ukrainian certainly didn’t suck it dry before moving on.

She just about bled him dry though.

[Spoonsky]

:cool:

[Spikey M]

Ophelia? Yeah, if it’s black it probably isn’t yours. Congratulations to your other half though.

[Giggles]

Ophelia? :face:

Some people just shouldn't be allowed reproduce.

[Shindig]

Alright, Brian. Calm your tits.

[Kikó]

Nothing wrong with the name. Shakespearian.

My sister just had a similar terrible birth experience and she looked broken afterwards. My sister in law though had her second on Sunday and she just powers them out without problem.

Hope your wife recovers well.

[John]

Giggles used to be part of the Full Name Crew and he has absolutely no place slagging Ophelia.

Congrats LR. Sounds like a bit of an ordeal but hopefully it's smoother from now on.

[Giggles]

Giggles used to be part of the Full Name Crew and he has absolutely no place slagging Ophelia.

Congrats LR. Sounds like a bit of an ordeal but hopefully it's smoother from now on.

Ophelia is name wankery. Does he think he's in Hollywood or something? Read too many issues of Hello.

[John]

How many Hollywood Ophelias do you know? The only two Ophelias who come to mind for me are Ophelia Lovibond, who is English, and the one from Hamlet, written by an Englishman.

[Giggles]

How many Hollywood Ophelias do you know? The only two Ophelias who come to mind for me are Ophelia Lovibond, who is English, and the one from Hamlet, written by an Englishman.

The current trend for name wankery, not the specific name.

[Kikó]

It's a classical Greek name. It's not like he's named her Michone.

[Giggles]

It's a classical Greek name. It's not like he's named her Michone.

Ah, the wife's Greek? Makes more sense now.

[Magic]

:D

Giggsy and Spikesy in full on wanker mode here.

Ophelia is a great name for a future heroin addict.

[Giggles]

Its a nice name you absolute wankers :D

I'm just still scarred by the hurricane :D

Seriously though, glad to hear all's good with the whole thing.

[Giggles]

Spikey will kill me for being nice.

[Giggles]

I do like 'Full Name Crew' though.

[Shindig]

Magic named his kid Amber Rose. After his favourite pornstar. Never forget that.

[phonics]

The only way you can shorten Ophelia is 'Oaf'.

[Ian]

If it gets shortened it'll be to "Fee" (Or however she chose to spell it) I'd imagine.

Or I suppose "Lia" like Leah if she wanted to shorten it to the end of it.

[Spikey M]

Don’t worry, her little brother Tre will look after her when he comes along.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

The name is fine, it's just unfortunate timing with the storm.

[Magic]

Ah of course, all she'll ever here is 'remember that storm in October 2017 called Ophelia lol ure named afa that! Tosser!'

[Pepe]

Philly.

[Kikó]

Phi phi.

[Magic]

The only way you can shorten Ophelia is 'Oaf'.

Lol @ this millennial logic.

[Pepe]

Offy.

[Adramelch]

It's a classical Greek name. It's not like he's named her Michone.

That said, it's not even used in Greece.

[Magic]

apart from the occasional 'popopopopopolous' the Greek team reads more like a Hungarian one, to me.

[Pepe]

Hasn't every non-disabled, under-60 Greek person left already?

[Shindig]

Dionisis Choitis is still there at 40. My mistake, he plays in Cyprus.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Nope.

He went back to Greece a couple of years ago.

[Alex]

Congratulation LR.

I think Ophelia is a very nice name, too. Sort of classic but also interesting, and proof that it's possible to give your child an unusual name without it being something completely naff and chavy. Good choice.

[Giggles]

Come on now, it's at least a bit chavvy.

[Spikey M]

As long as she’s African American it’s fine

[Disco]

Come on now, it's at least a bit chavvy.

Well it is now.

[Lewis]

It's one of those names that probably rests on who is saying it. In a nice posh voice it would sound like a nice posh name, but over in West Yorkshire you end up with 'Uffeeleeurr' rattling through the air like a car alarm.

[Baz]

Pink.
Got a blue one now too. :baz:

[-james-]

The affiliate link possibilities. :drool: