Weekend Football 8/9 - Return of the V-League!!

[phonics]

I can't drink before games any more. I'm too much of a lightweight that my head is broken during the game and I can't concentrate.

[John Arne]

Karius in goals :face:

[John Arne]

Karius, Gomez, Matip, Lovren, Moreno, Can, Henderson, Wijnaldum, Salah, Firmino and Sane.

Coutinho on the bench.

[Boydy]

Fuck off Moreno. Seriously, why is that useless cunt seemingly being rehabilitated this season? He's shite, get him out to fuck.

[Spoonsky]

Against Sevilla especially.

[John Arne]

I like the fact that the further back you go, the more slapstick we get.

Forwards.. great, midfield... solid, defense... crap, goalie... bombscare

[John Arne]

Fuck off Moreno. Seriously, why is that useless cunt seemingly being rehabilitated this season? He's shite, get him out to fuck.

Yup. As soon as Coutinho comes back in, I suspect Milner will be back there.

[Jimmy Floyd]

They should absolutely murder Sevilla, who are these days a bunch of lightweight South American timewasters.

[Waffdon]

Yup. As soon as Coutinho comes back in, I suspect Milner will be back there.

Robertson must be a horrific trainer. One game and he's man of the match. Pure shite.

[John Arne]

They should absolutely murder Sevilla, who are these days a bunch of lightweight South American timewasters.

I just watched our U19's hammer their U19's 4-0... I swear every one of their players were lightweight, diving, greasy little fucking snidey cunts.

[Magic]

What game then?

[Magic]

HAHAHAHAHA!!!!!

Fucking haha! :D

[CJay]

Come on.

[John Arne]

Lovren :D

[Magic]

They should absolutely murder Sevilla, who are these days a bunch of lightweight South American timewasters.

:happycry:

[Max Power]

Spurs - Dortmund is good. Nice to see one of my fave actors Stanley Tucci in the away dugout as well.

[CJay]

Looks like Can has reverted to type, making terrible decisions.

[Waffdon]

That Dortmund goal was incredible.

[John Arne]

:happycry:

It's the 10th minute. At least wait until the second half before claiming your e-victories.

[Magic]

Glad I changed to the yids. Dece game this.

[Magic]

'Reverse pass' is another nauseating term that can get to fuck.

[John Arne]

That's better.

I swear every one of Seville's throw-ins have been a foul throw. The left brings his arms in front of him, and the rightback lifts both his feet off the ground /pedantry

[John]

Ederson back playing already? Get that red card rescinded.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Clueless Magic wrong again.

[Magic]

Clueless Magic wrong again.

Wrong about Salah being an Egyptian God? I don't think so.

[John Arne]

So annoying when players miss pens. Bloody Firmino.

[Waffdon]

The fuck was Aubameyang playing at there? It'd be 2-2 if he didn't stupidly swipe at that.

[CJay]

So annoying when players miss pens. Bloody Firmino.

Don’t even care. He’s so great. Links play so beautifully.

Moreno should have squared that to the back post.

[John Arne]

Don’t even care. He’s so great. Links play so beautifully.

Moreno should have squared that to the back post.

Oh, don't get me wrong - I bloody love the little fella. Our best player so far this season (closely followed by Mane).

[Max Power]

Aubameyang two yards onside there, awful call.

Fun game.

[John Arne]

Sevilla manager Berizzo sent off for throwing the ball away twice... I mean, you're the fucking manager and you're acting like a fucking kid. Mong.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Argies are all the same. Normally they do it when their team's winning though.

[John Arne]

:face:

https://gyazo.com/f8e3bcb5e56c168c7c3d12f14bf3fc5b.gif

https://gyazo.com/2a6a47593526500b5a384a240a06b885.gif

[CJay]

We really are so sloppy.

[SvN]

Where's Magic? Get in there my son.

[John Arne]

Yeah, there was a certain inevitability about that.

[John]

What a twat. Liverpool really do need to sort their defence out. There's little value in having such a good attack if you're just going to concede every time a competent opponent goes forward.

[SvN]

Coutinho getting a standing ovation :D

[John Arne]

Coutinho getting a standing ovation :D

No, he didn't. A round of applause, that was about it.

[SvN]

Obviously the appropriate way to welcome the return of someone who desperately wants out of the club.

[John Arne]

Obviously the appropriate way to welcome the return of someone who desperately wants out of the club.

Erm, ok.

[John Arne]

908059484567883777

[Magic]

So has the £180m footballer scored a hatrick yet? :harold:

[Magic]

Why do people always assume THE ENGLISH TEAM will destroy? Only MJ knows.

[SvN]

Hanging on at the end, too.

[John]

Klopp at the end there, 'why did you do that? What have I done?'

He's embraced the city.

[John Arne]

So has the £180m footballer scored a hatrick yet? :harold:

You're obsessed.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Liverpool are Irish, not English.

[John]

Son is genuinely easier to understand than Harry Kane.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Harry Kane is a national treasure. It'll be a real pity when he goes to United.

[-james-]

Kane would be a £200 million player if nobody knew what he sounded like.

[Shindig]

I'd be a £200m player if nobody knew what I played like.

[niko_cee]

Absolutely mugged (again). Some fairly next level shit on the defending front though. Jesus. Lovren playing with the calm authority of a man who knows the alternative is Ragnar 'The Most Expensive Estonian in History' Klavan.

Thought their 'keeper had a belting game.

[Kikó]

Cologne have been on the piss on Upper Street all day. Quite a turnout. The sirens have been blaring all afternoon.

[-james-]

https://twitter.com/EmanDaGoonn/status/908330461134512128

Decent effort

[Magic]

Atalanta to dick Everton.

[Magic]

Atalanta to dick Everton.

:thbup:

[Reg]

Milan 3-0 up against Austria Vienna after 20 minutes. That Andre Silva chap has slipped under my radar until this season, he any good?

[Magic]

Bloody hell they're destroying Everton.

[-james-]

Skenderbeu doing a job in Kiev. :cool:

[Magic]

2-0 :harold:

[Adramelch]

Gotta love the name FC FCSB that Steaua are sporting this days.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Skenderbeu doing a job in Kiev. :cool:

Sycnronised celebration where they all pull their BTTS coupons out of their socks?

[Magic]

This is what happens when you have to overcome shite like Brighton and Huddersfield instead of actual teams with footballing ability. Unlucky English teams.

[Magic]

3. :D

Dots.

[Jimmy Floyd]

I'm not watching it, but the Everton XI looks mesmerisingly bad.

[Magic]

It is shocking. And the team who hasn't played in Europe for 26 years looks every bit at home (even though they aren't technically at home either).

[Adramelch]

What do you mean they're not technically at home?

EDIT: Nevermind, livescore has them playing at their stadium but it seems that's not the case.

[-james-]

It's being played two hours away because Atalanta's stadium apparently doesn't meet UEFA's standards. Considering some of the shite that gets to the group stages and doesn't have that issue, I wonder how much of a dump it is.

[CJay]

Which stadium is it? Atalanta look good - and their second goal was brilliant - but Everton have been woeful.

[phonics]

Playing Maitland-Niles instead of Wilshere :( It's over.

[Adramelch]

Which stadium is it? Atalanta look good - and their second goal was brilliant - but Everton have been woeful.

The one Sassuolo have been using as of late. Reggiana are the resident team so to speak.

[phonics]

Arsenal match has now been delayed by an hour because the Cologne fans are being dicks or something.

[Adramelch]

Good win for us (AEK). Haven't seen us playing in the knockout rounds of a european competition in a decade and we have a very good chance of going through (despite being 4th seed). Gotta love a lucky draw.

[phonics]

20 thousand Koln fans have turned up at the stadium. They have an allocation of 2900 :D

[John]

Just seen the goals from the Everton game. The third shows some of the worst defending I've ever seen. Keane looked like he'd forgotten which sport he was playing.

[Adramelch]

Second was a really beaut.

[John]

That was a lovely finish, but there was still some very shoddy defending.

I reckon this BT interviewer has talked Koeman into battering a few of his players.

[Adramelch]

That was a lovely finish, but there was still some very shoddy defending.

I reckon this BT interviewer has talked Koeman into battering a few of his players.

All three had shoddy defending but at least the second you can forgive courtesy of the finish.

[John]

Jenas was good fun there. Keown had been talking about how the delay might affect fans, some of whom he reckons won't bother now that the game is scheduled to finish at about eleven, and Jenas popped his neb in to allay any fears that the players might have been warming up too early.

[phonics]

These streams are fucked, are BT Sports just playing a different game until the Arsenal match kicks off?

[Jimmy Floyd]

If this was Turks or Russians, we'd be shitting our collective pants.

Thank goodness for the Germans and their 'football culture', ja ja, Currywurst for me bitte schön and a side order of pre-ironic social norms.

[phonics]

They've taken over about 6 sections apparently. You have to scan your ticket to get through the turnstiles normally so I've got no idea how they've done so.

[Lewis]

Haven't the stewards shit themselves and let them in?

[phonics]

Can we borrow them for the Doncaster match next week? They've only sold about 10 thousand tickets.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Haven't the stewards shit themselves and let them in?

Is there a precedent for this sort of thing?

Absolutely no way the game will take place if there are thousands more in than there should be.

[phonics]

908410544364941312

[Max Power]

Seems they've bought tickets in the home seats and are trying to pile from there into the away end. Would be surprised if the game went ahead.

[Magic]

The one Sassuolo have been using as of late. Reggiana are the resident team so to speak.

:D

This reminds me of Cagliari and Cellino.

[phonics]

Seems they've bought tickets in the home seats and are trying to pile from there into the away end. Would be surprised if the game went ahead.

Games going ahead anyway because they think the idea of dispersing this many angry fans will cause even more chaos then it already is :D

Don't think Koln fans will be going to any more away games if UEFA have anything to do with it.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Does Steve Bould do ticketing as well? What an absolute shambles.

Cologne should get booted out of the competition.

[John]

These streams are fucked, are BT Sports just playing a different game until the Arsenal match kicks off?

They're showing the Marseille game for now.

Do you not have a TV?

[phonics]

Weirdly enough British Telecom don't think Switzerlands a target market.

[Adramelch]

:D

This reminds me of Cagliari and Cellino.

Hey that's Reggiana of Taffarel fame!

[Lewis]

908414544111947776

:harold:

[Magic]

908414544111947776

:harold:

:D

That's amazing.

[Magic]

They've all bought Arsenal tops and are in the home end. Some cunt just posted a video of German songs booming around the home fans. :harold:

[Magic]

Cologne winning at home already.

[John]

Weirdly enough British Telecom don't think Switzerlands a target market.

Presumably football is a thing shown on Swiss TV though.

[John]

This bouncing thing is handy, you can see people joining in all round the stadium.

Some finish from the Koln boy, but what the fuck was Ospina up to? That was Almunia revisited.

[Bernanke]

Good win for us (AEK). Haven't seen us playing in the knockout rounds of a european competition in a decade and we have a very good chance of going through (despite being 4th seed). Gotta love a lucky draw.

What do you think of Jakob Johansson?

[phonics]

Presumably football is a thing shown on Swiss TV though.

On cable.

[John]

This Koln kit is one of the worst I've seen in years.

[Adramelch]

What do you think of Jakob Johansson?

Very good player, at least for the level we're playing at. And to think he joined us when we were in the 2nd division. Obviously we paid big bucks but still.

[Weaver]

Arsene Wenger's jacket tonight is superb - takes some cajones to try and pull that off.

[phonics]

Why do the BT commentators keep banging on about the goal as if it was a worldie. If a professional footballer can't hit an open goal from 40 yards they should probably just give up.

Good to see Walcotts still dogshit though.

[John]

Is a bit of a fruity lining.

Ainsley Maitland-Niles should be read out in disapproving monotone by Jeremy Paxman, not excitedly by noted fat bampot John Hartson.

There's fucking 'If Messi had scored that...' popping up again. That needs to die more urgently than any other sporting cliche. If Messi scored it nobody would care because it wouldn't be in the top three hundred most impressive things he's done this year.

[phonics]

"I'm not sure what Theo Walcott is doing" could be used in every match he's played since that hat trick against Croatia.

[John]

Has there been a falling out between Keown and Adams? Fucking bizarre comment from Keown if not.

'When I played with Tony Adams I didn't rate him as highly as everyone else.'

[phonics]

I understand what he was trying to say but it was a bit clumsy.

[John]

So do I and there are a hundred ways to say it without shitting on your old partner.

[Giggles]

Didn't Adams and Wenger fall out? Maybe Keown is in the Arsene camp.

[Reg]

Keown also had a go at Wenger this year or last, saying he was never a coach. He just seems to be a bit of a prat, and a shoddy commentator/pundit.

[Magic]

Keown is a cunt. A boring, stretched cunt.

How is Adams doing at that club he was/is managing? :harold:

[John]

The Koln fans are having a ceilidh by the sounds of it.

[Magic]

Wretched*

Or stretched. Both apply.

[John]

That's magnificent from Sanchez.

[phonics]

Dear BT, that's a great goal.

And Wilsheres on :drool: I'm in a good mood now.

[John]

It's amazing how quickly and early that stand opposite the camera is emptying.

[Magic]

Is the Shire of Wilt still kicking around? What an achievement.

[John]

That one doesn't even work. You're closer to slagging off that Aussie right back who played under Schteve at Twente.

[SincereTheRebel]

I watched the whole arsenal game. They have to play elneny in the center midfield against chelsea. They are asking for trouble if they bring back in the ramsey. I would partner elneny and xhaka vs chelsea.

[phonics]

Think they'll go to a back 4 next week. Elneny, Xhaka, Ramsey.

[SincereTheRebel]

I thought three at the back was the way forward for him? Also get rid of ozil too. He does not fit being being wide right in a 343. Regardless of what formation they play against chelsea. He also shouldnt be in the 11.

[phonics]

It's not working whatsoever, They just mark the players in front of the ball and then whoevers role it is to take it out, loses it and Arsenal get counter attacked.

[phonics]

Vitor Guimares broke a record yesterday. First team to play in Europe and not feature a single player from the continent.

Oh and another statistic from last night


Also, good to see a competitive debut for Reiss Nelson who came on, didn’t look out of place, and in 7 minutes made more successful passes than Theo Walcott did in 83.
150k a week

[Adramelch]

They brought in a portuguese guy as a sub!

[SincereTheRebel]

Walcott expired about three years ago. Give him his testimonial and fuck him off.

[Lewis]

More than that, surely? As soon as he stopped being a 'young player' (whenever that was) he became a write-off.

[SincereTheRebel]

More than that, surely? As soon as he stopped being a 'young player' (whenever that was) he became a write-off.

He had a excellent goal scoring season four years ago or so when he scored 20. He should have been sold immediately after that season. Arsenal are usually good at selling players at the right time, just after they have a good season, they fall off. Theo still being at arsenal, in my opinion, cost them oxlade.

[Adamski]

That reads like a positive to me.

[bruhnaldo]

having a ceilidh

a fucking what

[Kikó]

It's deep fried haggis stuffed with fish and chips.

[Raoul Duke]

More than that, surely? As soon as he stopped being a 'young player' (whenever that was) he became a write-off.

His career peaked when he got the hat trick versus Croatia. Absolute bobbins since then