Shit from school

[Offshore Toon]

Every now and then I still think/say "wha yu mean when yu say half-caste?" Anybody else have to read that (https://genius.com/John-agard-halfe-caste-annotated) poem in school? Reading it back now its so shit. Its no wonder poetry was always seen as crap.

Anyway, we're all similar ages and the syllabus can have changed that often so lets share some shit memories from school.

[Alex]

Yes, we read that too. I can still vividly remember our English teacher picking the single, non-white kid in the class (he actually was mixed race) to read it out loud in it's entirety the first time we looked at it, which managed to stun even a group of incredibly rowdy, not particularly interested teenagers into a very awkward silence.

She also gave an incredibly cringeworthy demonstration of the type of accent John Agard would read it in as well. She wasn't being a dick or anything, though. She was a really nice lady actually. Stuff like that just wouldn't happen anymore though, I don't think.

The other one I can recall is "Presents From My Aunts in Pakistan", although not as well.

[Spikey M]

There was that shit poem about an onion as well.

Fuck off Carol, love. (http://emilyspoetryblog.com/2013/03/08/valentine-by-carol-ann-duffy/)

[Spikey M]

Yes, we read that too. I can still vividly remember our English teacher picking the single, non-white kid in the class (he actually was mixed race) to read it out loud in it's entirety the first time we looked at it, which managed to stun even a group of incredibly rowdy, not particularly interested teenagers into a very awkward silence.

She also gave an incredibly cringeworthy demonstration of the type of accent John Agard would read it in as well. She wasn't being a dick or anything, though. She was a really nice lady actually. Stuff like that just wouldn't happen anymore though, I don't think.

The other one I can recall is "Presents From My Aunts in Pakistan", although not as well.

One of our teachers blacked up and sang 'Because I got High' at our last year 11 assembly. Scouts fucking honour.

[Alex]

You ask me what I mean
by saying I have lost my tongue.
I ask you, what would you do
if you had two tongues in your mouth,
and lost the first one,
the mother tongue,
and could not really know the other,
the foreign tongue.
You could not use them both together
even if you thought that way.
And if you lived in a place you had to
speak a foreign tongue,
your mother tongue would rot,
rot and die in your mouth
until you had to spit it out.
I thought I spit it out
but overnight while I dream,

Heavy stuff.

[Alex]

One of our teachers blacked up and sang 'Because I got High' at our last year 11 assembly. Scouts fucking honour.

:D

I really don't think it's a stretch to say that this would make all of the national newspapers if it happened now.

[Alex]

It was a big tune at the time though, let's allow him that.

[Spikey M]

:D

I really don't think it's a stretch to say that this would make all of the national newspapers if it happened now.

I don't remember it generating much of a reaction beyond bemused amusement back then either.

[Offshore Toon]

Yes, we read that too. I can still vividly remember our English teacher picking the single, non-white kid in the class (he actually was mixed race) to read it out loud in it's entirety the first time we looked at it, which managed to stun even a group of incredibly rowdy, not particularly interested teenagers into a very awkward silence.

She also gave an incredibly cringeworthy demonstration of the type of accent John Agard would read it in as well. She wasn't being a dick or anything, though. She was a really nice lady actually. Stuff like that just wouldn't happen anymore though, I don't think.

The other one I can recall is "Presents From My Aunts in Pakistan", although not as well.
Wait, you're white? I thought you were Indian?

There was that shit poem about an onion as well.

Fuck off Carol, love. (http://emilyspoetryblog.com/2013/03/08/valentine-by-carol-ann-duffy/)
That one was shit, but it worked in my favour as I remember getting top marks for talking bollocks about it.

Heavy stuff.
I remember that one. These really are terrible.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Every now and then I still think/say "wha yu mean when yu say half-caste?" Anybody else have to read that (https://genius.com/John-agard-halfe-caste-annotated) poem in school? Reading it back now its so shit. Its no wonder poetry was always seen as crap.

Anyway, we're all similar ages and the syllabus can have changed that often so lets share some shit memories from school.

I hated that poem (and most of our 'Anthology' book) so much.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Educating Rita, especially the film version, was also pretty grating.

Julie Walters is a twat.

[John]

There was a video about a deprived kid stealing pens or something and getting busted which was particularly shit. Unless I'm conflating two shit videos his name would have been Buddy.

[ScousePig]

I remember the half-caste poem. Year 6 did a talent show the other month and one of the (autistic) girls sang Mad Hatter by Melanie Martinez, which was a bit risky.

[Boydy]

I don't remember doing any of those poems in school. I've quite liked all the ones posted too.

[Raoul Duke]

We did Seamus Heaney at school. Don :cool:

[Spikey M]

I don't remember doing any of those poems in school. I've quite liked all the ones posted too.


https://i.ytimg.com/vi/YaG5SAw1n0c/maxresdefault.jpg

[Shindig]

We had Half-Caste read to us by a yorkshireman. It didn't hit as hard. He was kinda bothering with the accent but it just made him sound more Yorkshire. We all got shown the Valley Parade fire video, didn't we?

[Offshore Toon]

We had Half-Caste read to us by a yorkshireman. It didn't hit as hard. He was kinda bothering with the accent but it just made him sound more Yorkshire. We all got shown the Valley Parade fire video, didn't we?
Not in school. It was part of stewarding training, though.

[Mellberg]

Half-caste was a load of complete horseshit. I thought it at the time and still think it now. We should've studied Wordsworth ffs.

[Giggles]

All that poetry bullshit should be done away with for practical stuff. Most people can't use a capital letter correctly yet you've gone wasted on that and Shakespeare.

[Spikey M]

Fucking Shakespeare. I remember someone arguing that 'nobody really likes House music' and getting slated for it, but I am convinced that people that claim to like Shakespeare are just trying to take hipsterism to a new level of cuntery.

[Offshore Toon]

I don't remember being fussed in school, but I enjoyed The Tempest during college. Oddly enough they never forced Shakespeare on us on my English courses.

[ItalAussie]

Fucking Shakespeare. I remember someone arguing that 'nobody really likes House music' and getting slated for it, but I am convinced that people that claim to like Shakespeare are just trying to take hipsterism to a new level of cuntery.
There's some good Shakespeare, but not all of it. And it's meant to be performed - reading the script is just not the same thing.

The Henry IV plays are actually fantastic.

[Spikey M]

There's some good Shakespeare, but not all of it. And it's meant to be performed - reading the script is just not the same thing.

The Henry IV plays are actually fantastic.

In fairness I've only been exposed to Macbeth although we did watch a straight to VHS production of it and I still wasn't a fan.

I loved Of Mice and Men and a book about the end of the world (of which I have lost the name), I just couldn't get past Ye Olde English in Shakespeare.

[Offshore Toon]

Lenny. :(

I have heard people say that those who don't like Shakespeare have only seen Shakespeare performed badly, though obviously even good Shakespeare won't be for everyone.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

We touched briefly on some 'urbanised' version of Shakespeare a few years ago at uni.

Some guy had changed the language to 'appeal to the yoof' and get them off the streets.

I didn't understand any of the language so be thankful of the original, Spikey.

[Offshore Toon]

I've only seen Macbeth and it was a bit shit, but the picnic we took was banging. I'm all up for giving it another shot, but not if it's some amateur nonces.

[mo]

Wife got us tickets to see Shakespeare performed out doors, around this time last year. A Midsummer Night's Dream, I believe. It was fucking wank and took them until 11pm to get to the interval so we left at the break. Decent picnic still didn't salvage the evening. Never again will I be duped into something like that again.

[Giggles]

Maybe some people could conceivably find it not shit, but the main point is that the school day is short, so would people not be better learning useful things like spelling and punctuation in English class? Teaching useless shite like Shakespeare and poetry is like dragging teenagers in for maths class and showing them DVD's instead.

[Pepe]

Don't they teach punctuation and spelling in the UK?

[Giggles]

Don't they teach punctuation and spelling in the UK?

I presume they do, but even more time would be useful as opposed to plays and poems that are of zero use. If there's enough time as it stands for the useful stuff then give the time to maths or science.

[Offshore Toon]

Maybe some people could conceivably find it not shit, but the main point is that the school day is short, so would people not be better learning useful things like spelling and punctuation in English class? Teaching useless shite like Shakespeare and poetry is like dragging teenagers in for maths class and showing them DVD's instead.
:D

You're ridiculous. If somebody currently leaves school with a poor grasp of spelling and grammar then it's likely because they didn't put the effort in. There's absolutely no need to dedicate more time towards spelling quizzes.

[Giggles]

:D

You're ridiculous. If somebody currently leaves school with a poor grasp of spelling and grammar then it's likely because they didn't put the effort in. There's absolutely no need to dedicate more time towards spelling quizzes.

I get that. But what's the point in wasting time with things that are of no use whatsoever? Like I said later, give the time to important subjects if useful English can be covered in the time it has now.

[Lewis]

They should just teach adding up to a thousand and how to wire plugs.

[Spikey M]

Finance Management should be a class.

[Giggles]

Finance Management should be a class.

Be a whole lot more useful than all that sucketh mine fucking dicketh crap anyway.

[Spikey M]

German?

[Disco]

I didn't enjoy Biology classes so I don't think anyone should be taught that, waste of time.

[Giggles]

I didn't enjoy Biology classes so I don't think anyone should be taught that, waste of time.

Hardly a comparison. It's about real world use, not enjoyment of a subject. Did you even read anything before your quip?

[Pepe]

I've heard that critical thinking is a useful 'real world' skill, but I wouldn't know.

[Offshore Toon]

I get that. But what's the point in wasting time with things that are of no use whatsoever? Like I said later, give the time to important subjects if useful English can be covered in the time it has now.
I take it you want to sack off art lessons as well? Philosophy is all talk and no action, so get rid. History has been done. Students should be taught how to drive a forklift from year 8 so they're prepared for the real world!(!!!!)

[Henry]

All that poetry bullshit should be done away with for practical stuff. Most people can't use a capital letter correctly yet you've gone wasted on that and Shakespeare.

Fuck you, and fuck practical use.

Education is its own reward.

[Offshore Toon]

I've heard that critical thinking is a useful 'real world' skill, but I wouldn't know.
I've heard that too. What would that actually involve?

[Giggles]

I take it you want to sack off art lessons as well? Philosophy is all talk and no action, so get rid. History has been done. Students should be taught how to drive a forklift from year 8 so they're prepared for the real world!(!!!!)

For the most part, yes.

[Pepe]

I've heard that too. What would that actually involve?

Daily close readings of GS's posts.

[Giggles]

Fuck you, and fuck practical use.

Education is its own reward.

Education is fine. But all that shit like poetry has no use or business in the system.

[Disco]

Hardly a comparison. It's about real world use, not enjoyment of a subject. Did you even read anything before your quip?

Reading is for losers. I was learning how to use proper punctuation, you know, something with a real world application.

[Giggles]

Reading is for losers. I was learning how to use proper punctuation, you know, something with a real world application.

I never mentioned reading so you're very far wide of the mark in your smart arse argument. I've no problem with the teaching of properly constructed modern language. I'd consider it essential really.

[Henry]

Education is fine. But all that shit like poetry has no use or business in the system.

Poetry helps one understand the world in a deeper way by facilitating communication of the poets thoughts and feelings through a much more distilled language. Much the same way music does.

If you were less of a philistine you'd realise the pivotal role that Shakespeare has on the very language that you speak every day.

[Giggles]

Poetry helps one understand the world in a deeper way by facilitating communication of the poets thoughts and feelings through a much more distilled language. Much the same way music does.

Music would have no business in education either. It's a hobby.

[Pepe]

The classes were I learned the most were all literature classes, but that's because the professor was an absolute don. I took a couple others with regular professors and those were shit. Had my only exposure to the field been on those, maybe I would be tempted to agree with Giggles. Apart from that, the Logic course I took during high school was also great, even though I only took it for a few months because I dropped out soon after. Do they teach Logic in the UK? I don't think they do in the US, or at least that's what I've been told.

[Offshore Toon]

To be fair, Giggles did admit he had no imagination a few months ago.

[Offshore Toon]

The classes were I learned the most were all literature classes, but that's because the professor was an absolute don. I took a couple others with regular professors and those were shit. Had my only exposure to the field been on those, maybe I would be tempted to agree with Giggles. Apart from that, the Logic course I took during high school was also great, even though I only took it for a few months because I dropped out soon after. Do they teach Logic in the UK? I don't think they do in the US, or at least that's what I've been told.
Shit. Giggles is right.

[Offshore Toon]

I did also found that the teacher made a huge difference in English lessons. Up until year 9 I had crap teachers so it was just a lesson to piss about in, but in year 10 and 11 I had a great teacher. If it wasn't for my English teacher at college then I wouldn't have done English alongside history. It helped that he practically sucked me off in every feedback report.

[Pepe]

Shit. Giggles is right.


I did also found

Indeed.

[Shindig]

R.E. degenerated into some sort of ethics debate class.

[Offshore Toon]

Where bad in that?

[phonics]

Indeed.

Woof.

[Reg]

I kinda switched off in secondary school after being academic in infant and junior school, so I have really few memories of poems, novels etc ('Of Mice and Men' was good though.)

In junior school our headmistress insisted on starting every assembly with a Christian prayer (I'd guess 5% of us prayed at home, if that). She also made one of our sports days non-competitive to remove the possibility pressure/rivalry. Presumably there were students beheading each other over egg and spoon races in previous years.

In secondary school we had half a term of Fantasy Football (back in the days of newspapers' versions, so the teacher had to do it all manually on an excel sheet or something.) It was one of the choices for 'enrichment', which was our school attempting to sound posh/like Nazis enforcing propaganda on us.

[phonics]

I aced school up to 8th Grade when I moved to Geneva and they were so far ahead of me, my confidence got dented and I turned into the class skipping stoner instead.

[ItalAussie]

In fairness I've only been exposed to Macbeth although we did watch a straight to VHS production of it and I still wasn't a fan.

I loved Of Mice and Men and a book about the end of the world (of which I have lost the name), I just couldn't get past Ye Olde English in Shakespeare.

This is one reason that watching the play helps. You kind of get attuned to it, and you can start listening to it and picking up the words and themes, rather than struggling over the language.

But yeah, you do need to get over that roadblock in order to enjoy the good ones (The Tempest, Henry IV, etc.)

[ItalAussie]

Wife got us tickets to see Shakespeare performed out doors, around this time last year. A Midsummer Night's Dream, I believe. It was fucking wank and took them until 11pm to get to the interval so we left at the break. Decent picnic still didn't salvage the evening. Never again will I be duped into something like that again.

Midsummer Night's Dream is the worst. I never really warmed to most of the comedies really.

[ScousePig]

Advocating the teaching of life skills is fine, but correct grammar and punctuation isn't really that. Nor is basic algebra. It's the ability to understand something in a contextual way that matters.

[ItalAussie]

Yup. Being able to interpret and understand things that have been written. Literature happens to be things that are written, and therefore good to learn to understand and pick up themes, motivations, etc.

You don't learn about literature just to learn about the specific items you're taught in that specific class.

EDIT: Have you been away, Scouse? I feel like I haven't seen you post in a while. Glad you're here/back.