Lukaku vs Morata

[Spoonsky]

Time to settle this the only way we know how.

Who will score more goals this season?

[Giggles]

Divock Origi.

[Shindig]

Lukaku. Chelsea's goals are spread across more players.

[Reg]

Lukaku and he'll solve United's problems of a) wasting chances and b) not getting comfortable leads, meaning they'll draw fewer games and finish higher in the table.

[niko_cee]

I think Lukaku will do well to match Zlatan's league goals from last season.

[Lewis]

Lukaku and he'll solve United's problems of a) wasting chances and b) not getting comfortable leads, meaning they'll draw fewer games and finish higher in the table.

Yeah, that. Ooh, he doesn't score in big games! Jose Mourinho mate. He could have turned BOTTLER Riquelme into a big game player.

[Shindig]

Plus they're not accommodating Rooney any more.

[John]

Private poll. :nono:

Morata will get more. I think Lukaku will score a good number, but he has the first touch of a rapist far too often and I think that'll hold him back more at United than it did at Everton.

[Shindig]

Why has it always got to be about first touch with rapists?

[mugbull]

I think Lukaku, by a margin of 5-7 league goals. Morata's goalscoring record is pretty shit for someone of his valuation, but he'll do better at Chelsea for sure

[Adramelch]

To be fair Morata's goals/minute ratio is pretty impressive, but I guess getting on when your team is already 3 goals up and scoring another one skews stats like that. Still, think Lukaku will grab more.

[Pleb]

Imagine if this was on Sky Box Office. The PPV rates would go through the roof.

[Adamski]

Why has it always got to be about first touch with rapists?

Would a touch as good as Shindigs jokes work a bit better?

[Raoul Duke]

Morata looks like a bit of a tap-in merchant, and has the whiff of a flat-track bully about him. He'll probably do alright (Chelsea are more than capable of beating The Shit) but I reckon Lukaku will get more as Utd's midfield doesn't contribute all that much.

[Magic]

Boreata.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Lukaku.

I've never been completely sold by Morata plus the Premiership experience.

[ItalAussie]

You'd think I'd be right behind Morata, but in truth, I'm not sure.

[The Merse]

Where the fuck is Lacazette the machete in this poll?

[niko_cee]

Do you have to pronounce it Laca-zetty for that to work?

[Spikey M]

Morata.

Lukaku could get away with his dodgy control at Everto because nobody sits back against them. He's going to have no space at United and his second touch is going to be a very rare sight indeed.

[Spikey M]

Do you have to pronounce it Laca-zetty for that to work?


Or Machete as Mach-ett.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

888328849423052800

Not too shabby but it does look like Man City have got another keeper who loves a fuck up.

[Jimmy Floyd]

He's literally kicked it into an empty net. Calm your passion.

That keeper, like all South American keepers, will be dogshit.

[ItalAussie]

He's literally kicked it into an empty net. Calm your passion.

That keeper, like all South American keepers, will be dogshit.

https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/originals/67/f0/c0/67f0c0f459710bf4af11739066afe7cf.jpg

[Jimmy Floyd]

Is that Claudio Taffarel? More or less a case in point.

[rush]

I've got a number of bets on that Morata will get 15 goals or less; Costa seemed/seems to create chances for himself which Morata doesn't strike me as being able to do (based on nothing more than his face and demeanour).

[randomlegend]

He's literally kicked it into an empty net. Calm your passion.


Have you ever played football? That's a great finish.

[Lewis]

Yeah, making up for his SHIT FIRST TOUCH.

[Kikó]

Ederson will be good. He's only a young keeper.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Have you ever played football? That's a great finish.

I'm going to spend all season making sly digs at United players and see how many monitors you get through.

[SincereTheRebel]

I feel lukaku will do better than morata. Lukaku is the real deal, whereas morata for me. Isnt all that proven. Scoring goals in an elite real madrid team is different compared to scoring goals for a shit team like everton.

That being said, morata has to to compete with that chelsea shirt. That chelsea striker curse that someone has pointed out on here (insert name for your credit here). Its still there waiting for him.

[Jimmy Floyd]

You mean the Operation? Alvaro (first name terms, me) will be going under the knife tomorrow and the diagnosis will be terminal.

Costa must have elbowed the surgeon to death before procedure.

[ItalAussie]

Is that Claudio Taffarel? More or less a case in point.

I'm going to be honest, it was more the pose of shocked disapproval that I was going for. If I wanted to pick an actually good South American goalkeeper, I'd've pulled up Chilavert or something.

[Jimmy Floyd]

They're all either shit, mad or both. Who was that nutjob who used to go in for Sao Paulo? Rogerio Ceni? Off his face.

[Mazuuurk]

Dida was sort of alright and fairly stable for a while. Though the fact that he's the best example I can think of sort of reinforces your point really.

[randomlegend]

I'm going to spend all season making sly digs at United players and see how many monitors you get through.

:harold:

[Jimmy Floyd]

I've spent all day refreshing r/chelseafc and apparently we still play in blue.

[ItalAussie]

Just looked through a list of great South American goalkeepers, and I really can't find an exception. Chilavert was excellent but also crazy. Taffarel was never as good for his club as his country. Everyone else (Dida, Julio Cesar) had a few consistent years before losing the plot. In terms of steady solid European careers, Carlos Roa is probably the best of them, and even he packed it all in to become a Seventh-Day Adventist at one point.

[Pen]

Argentina had someone quite good recently but can't remember who it was.

[randomlegend]

Romero has been great for United, despite obviously being very much second fiddle.

[Lewis]

That one from the 1978 World Cup who wore the wrong shirt number.

[Pepe]

Higuita.

[Magic]

Lacazette the Machet. :lol:

[Spoonsky]

Private poll. /o\

[Ian]

Dida was sort of alright and fairly stable for a while. Though the fact that he's the best example I can think of sort of reinforces your point really.

I know you said "for a while" but Dida dived because a pitch invader shouted at him. He's never even a half-hearted exception.

[Reg]

I'd be pretty happy being 'sort of alright' with a World Cup winner's medal on my mantelpiece.

I'd have to get a mantelpiece first, though. Forget the medal.

[Lewis]

Dida was rubbish, but saving those Juventus penalties ten yards off his line was lol.

[phonics]

Remember when this debate was Thierry Henry vs Ruud Van Nistelrooy.


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DAtlzSvJudg

[John]

Van Nistelrooy never scored more league goals than Lukaku did last season and Henry only scored more twice in eight years. It's not like the thread is Amr Zaki vs Afonso Alves.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Remember when this debate was Thierry Henry vs Ruud Van Nistelrooy.


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DAtlzSvJudg

'Clay Davis all scenes' is in my related videos for that, see you in the morning.

[Ian]

Van Nistelrooy never scored more league goals than Lukaku did last season and Henry only scored more twice in eight years. It's not like the thread is Amr Zaki vs Afonso Alves.

Yeah.

BUT.

Van Nistelrooy, mate,

.....

That's basically the only argument I have but I'm not just going to stand by and let Romelu fucking Lukaku outdo Ruud van Nistelrooy, Even if it is correct / objective / statistically correct.

I'm also not happy about your besmirching of Amir Zaki's amazing six-month career (before and after which he simply didn't exist) but I'll try and defend that when I'm drunker than I am now.

[Lewis]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oZdi2pbxFXY

[John]

I'm not saying he's as good as Van Nistelrooy, he obviously isn't there yet. Just that Wire videos must be used with caution, as Floyd's night being ended at quarter past ten shows.

From the related videos on that. What the fuck was he up to doing a Q&A at the fucking Oxford Union?

[Lewis]

Probably lmaoing about the time he tried to write Ashley Cole off.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

888753387747016704

The Machet at his best.

[ItalAussie]

It's crazy to me that Van Nistelrooy only played five seasons at United.