Wdytoe 2014

[Samadini]

Hammerstein -


Knocked this together in half an hour. There's a surprising number of people who I've definitely seen a fair bit of but who don't seem to bring up distinctive memories. I think it's to do with me viewing this place without avatars or signatures and I often just read posts without looking at who people are.

adamski — Don't know much about him really, seems alright though.
Adramelch — Greek geezer in Spain. Good at Werewolf, sound.
AE — No lasting impressions
Alan Shearer The 2nd — Yep
Alex — Named after the disosaur from Tekken so he's a bit of a ledge really
Andy — No lasting impression, sorry!
Apples — Oz from the Werewolf game.
Bamster — Sent him a PM a while back on someone's advice. Ffs.
Benny — Good to have a round, a whizz with the photoshop which is always good for lols and generally just a decent part of the scenery
Boydy — As above really, though don't think the photoshop applies
Byron — Good lad
Captain Trips — Made me megalol with a few of his comments in the relationship thread about Ant. The 'I luv u 5eva' had people looking at me in the office
cearles — Cereal
chaodck — Good lad, standard
Charlie — I like him
Chinny Hill — Has some mental ideas in my book but good to have around to give the place a bit of diversity and shit. Diversity is important, isn't it.
Chrissy — Felt sorry for him a bit after Snazz's weird ratings game as I don't think he got what he was after and was a bit hurt by it. He's a good lad and it's good to see someone who hasn't let this place make him too cynical. Has hope and dreams about doing something with himself that he wants to do. Massive respect for that. Don't let this place bother you.
CJ — Yup
Corduroy — Pearl Jam song
Danny — Lad from FMG. Comes and goes I think but I've liked him since 2005
Dark Soldier — Don't see him that often nowadays but seems like a good bloke and his reviews in the Movie thread have put some much more interesting titles on my 'to watch' list.
Davgooner — Seemed to hate me at first because he thought I was Weisenheimer from FMG. I'm not so it's cool now.
Demerit — Another TTH poster.
diljeet — I don't know.
Dj_Luca — Yeah. Part of the scenery, good shit.
eltharion_doa — Seems pretty clever, and careful to remain balanced when he's making a point. Usually has something sensible to say.
Fandan — ?
Five Time — Dunno
Foe — Confuse him with Charlie for some reason. Part of the scene, adds to debates and shit.
FrancisWalsh —
Fry Crayola — Always have time to listen to his views on computer games, has helped me a fair bit over the last year or so with questions and advice on games and computers and that. Helpful, adds to the serious discussions and shiz and a valuable TTHer. Good luck with any future games, and respect for putting one together because I've tried playing about with making daft little games and found it fucking impossible to do anything.
Hammerstein — Ledge
Harold Bishop — I like him really. He's fucking abrasive and seems to enjoy winding people up but he adds flavour to the place
Henry — Not seen him as much recently but I seem to agree with the generality of what he says in the politics thread and shit like that. Seem to remember him being a lot more present in the past though.
hydrocephalus — Not seem him as much nowadays, Madhatter from FMG I think. Good lad.
Ian — Shit at Haxball ;). Good lad though.
ItalAussie — People say he's arrogant but I don't think he comes across like that. Knows a lot about stuff I don't know shit about so I like to read his posts on that stuff (proper science, maths etc)
Jimmy Floyd — Good lad
John — Get him mixed up with Toby
John_Arne — good bloke
Kikó — Sometimes get him mixed up with Yevrah for some reason. Good contributor though, and so is Yev so I guess it's a compliment if you don't mind being indistinguishable from someone else. I think it's mostly because I view the forums without avatars or signatures though.
kizmarlo — Only noticed him more recently but seems safe
Laurent Robert — Yes he's sound
LeeCovFox — One of the most solid members of the place.
LeedsRevolution — Seems to turn up every now and then and make a big noise and then disappear again. I don't mind that.
Lewis — Full of lol from a lot of his comments but tbh seems to have a problem with just saying something directly. Would rather wrap it up in some obscure reference that will either make people be like 'oh yeah I get what he's saying!' or 'ooh er I don't know what he means'. I think he likes that though. Has made me laugh quite a few times but seems fucking cynical towards pretty much everything and I imagine I'd probably worry about him if I knew him in real life.
Lofty — LAD. Adds to the atmos and provides the lols. Carry on.
Luke Emia — Sorry to hear about his hip stuff, hope that works out alright.
m1j1browning — One of the only other contributors to the League One thread, for that I like him.
Magic Johnson — Turned up again, seems alright. Don't really know him though.
mert — Not seen him recently so I think he's got the message. He's like Harold but I find Harold endearing for some reason, Mert is just a bit of a cunt.
mf_phonics — Good lad
Mike — Baz's friend. Not sure what Baz did wrong, but I have the impression that Henry didn't like him. Mike's name is too bland that he'd really have to make a big noise for me to remember him. As such he part of the background for me.
Minister De la Funk — Cool name, can't think of anything else. Decent enough then.
Multi — Good lad
Nick — good lad
nickfootie5 — Good lad
niko_cee — good lad
Offshore Toon — Good lad, I think I pissed him off early doors with the page 3 thread though.
Okay_Amigo — Good lad
P_3 — good lad
Palmer — Good lad
Panda Bear — Ahh, the philosopher. Like his posts, I think we see things in a similar way, would probably enjoy going to the pub with him.
Pen — Finnish, or Icelander or something. Lives upwards somewhere anyway. I like him.
Pepe — Good lad
Pleb — Good lad
Randomlegend — Good lad
Raoul Duke — Good lad
Regista — Good lad
Reiver — Good lad
Rocchi — Good lad
ScousePig — Good lad, adds to the football threads and seems to actually be able to play the game to a decent level himself. With the internet being the domain of the armchair footballers, fair play.
sergeantdisco — good lad
Serpent Gazeux — Seems pretty miserable really. When he's not moaning about his job he's moaning about something else or pouring scorn at someone for something. Kudos for the awards and the Werewolf though as they take a fair bit of effort. He's seems a bit like Lewis except he seems to hate everything more. Lewis at least seems to be entertaining himself.
Shindig — Good lad.
Simon. — Good lad, WDYTOE was perhaps a bit early this time round but fair play as it's always something people want to do, whether they admit it or not. Decent contributor, don't think i've spoken that much to him directly though.
SincereTheRebel — seems to have a problem with writing grammatical sentences but you know what he's saying so it doesn't matter. good contributor and bloke to have around
Smiff — Quietened down now that Liverpool have fucked it up, was having it large good and proper beforehand and I think I missed how he responded to the Chelsea game. Decent bloke though and hope he's doing alright nowadays.
Snapman — Wednesdayite I think.
Snazz — Baz apparently. Turned up out of the blue to gauge everyone's numerical opinion of each other and then disappeared. His reviews of each grade were hilarious though.
SpokesmaN —
Spoonsky — Writes well for a ten year old. Seems to look up to Lewis though which is a bit daft.
SvN — Hates Ant. That's my most lasting impression. Not sure why, but meh. Good lad.
Taz — One of my favourites. Often makes me chuckle. Just hope he's being ironic a lot of the time.
The Merse — Good lad
7om — Good lad
Toby — Confuse him with John, though I think it's usually Toby that I read. Has a big head apparently.
Townsend — His new persona is loltastic, don't remember him beforehand.
Trancemeister —
Vim — Posted seriously horrendous pictures of that Boston bombing, even after everyone pleaded with him to stop.
Waffelz — Not seen him as much recently. Had a bit of a meltdown in the Werewolf thread. Good lad though.
Weaver — Good lad
Wullie — Seem to think he's the bloke who got involved with the Albanian mafia but that's someone else. Good lad
Yevrah — Him and Kiko are basically the same person in my memory. Both good posters though.
Zimidy — Dunno. Good lad I guess, nothing really springs to mind though :sorry:




Benny -


Here we go, if I left you out it means I like you but don't really have much more to say, please don't get offended and take it as a challenge for next year.

adamski
Seems alright, I don't think we really interact too much but I find myself confusing a lot of the newer Scottish members as they seem to share similar avatars too? Might have just made that up.


Benny
:eyemouth:


Byron
Bit of a bakewell, from Ashford so you know he'll pick up a 2p coin if he saw it sticking out of a dogs arse. Apart from that he's alright, get's whooshed a lot and loves a TTH seethe.*


Captain Trips
"Look how cool I am, I don't even know who any of you are, I'll ask for dating advice though". Give over, loser.


cearles
RIP Curly.


chaodck
Seems a good egg, bit uninteresting though tbh.


Charlie
Has an impression of me as being personal and cuntish, which might be true but I don't particularly see it myself. I'm probably going to consider my posts a bit more now but in truth I often post my first thoughts and don't consider them any further.*


Chrissy
Quite like how open he is on the forum, not many of us share videos of ourselves. Brave man, although he did shit his bed :cab:


CJ
Doesn't post much outside of football threads, does he? Don't know if he's busy or perhaps I had a wrong memory of him, seemed to remember him posting more and being non-bakewell.


Corduroy
Depressingly funny, but I do wonder if his life is as bad as he makes out.*


Davgooner
The man, the myth, the legend. I don't want to ever see a mugshot of the man, as I know it'll ruin my perception. He thought the restaurant next to Dover's Premier Inn was alright though, so his taste buds must be dead.


Demerit
Offered some help when discussing buying a place in London (how naive), nice guy.*


Dj_Luca
What a don, sent me his CV and helped me with mine, making me feel inadequate as he's achieved more in a couple of years than I have in life. Sucks bro.


Foe
Knows he's a bit of a wet lettuce and I quite admire his openness (like Chrissy) with the board. People may mock but there aren't many of us on here who would share some of the stuff he has.*


FrancisWalsh
Quite often I find myself wondering if he actually watches Tottenham or whether he is a bit like GS in that he takes a little pride in getting predictions of his team underperforming right.*


Fry Crayola
I'm sure it's no secret that I find him a bit of a wet blanket, he seems to want to read into posts more than you probably should and is quick to judge. It's not a problem as it's a messageboard and if you're taking anything personally on it you should take a break, but I can see how his posts can get to people.


Hammerstein
Tim nice but dim. Said you were a teacher? Some of things you ask make me question that at times but generally a nice enough chap.


Harold Bishop
One of those posters you wonder what he gets from the forum, seems to argue with anyone about anything and I'm sure a lot people don't take him seriously. Even though he's had some complete mares (won't admit it though), he sometimes has some good points but because it's him people won't accept them.


hydrocephalus
Our paths don't cross much but from what I can tell he's a pretty decent young man, seems to have been at Uni forever though...


Ian
Doesn't post much these days, perhaps the glory of his early years*


ItalAussie
Less time for the place and comes off far less patronising as a result, either because he cares less or simply finds himself more aware of this perception and alters his posts. Ultimately likeable though and maybe I've grown up but he seems quite fair in his modship too.


Jimmy Floyd
I used to like a him a lot more than I do now, although I can't really pinpoint why that is. Don't get me wrong, I don't dislike you (relief I'm sure) but there's definitely a narky side to you that I've noticed and you do have some odd views on football at times.


John_Arne
Notice him a lot more than I used to, whether that's him posting more or us crossing threads more than we did before. Quite funny and I'm not sure why I've heard the story as to why he lives in Vietnam. Why do you live in Vietnam?


Kikó
He's quite shit but his room mate is pretty cool, so he has that going for him. Looking to move to London in the upcoming months so I better not be too horrible to him, he'll find me.


kizmarlo
Fairly decent new poster (are you new?), think he's not quite found his 'style' yet on the forums. Quite often makes the obvious jokes or milks a joke a little too much, but we've all done it. Will be a solid 8/10 next year, I'm sure.


Laurent Robert
Smashed his greenhouse. Sorry mate. Just the same in real life, and his exploits are legendary amongst these boards.


LeeCovFox
Gone from funny pervert to middle aged man in a single year. I like his stories more than the serious job posts, but that's just me. I guess I come on here for lols more than anything serious, so I quite often gloss over the Job thread.


Lewis
Now Lewis is a decisive figure for me. On the one hand, most of his sly digs are pretty funny and I enjoyed reading his posts on history and war. Also, Randrew seems to have found their meet pleasant enough, so he can't be a cock in real life. On the other hand though, most of his digs aren't really necessary and come off as trying too hard. He'll probably say I try too hard too, but to me often his digs are aimed at those who probably can't take it on the chin.


Lofty
His stories weren't to everyones tastes, but I found them hilarious and his roller coaster picture has stood the test of time for me. How can you not find him funny?


Mahow
Shell of a man, nothing like the posting beast he once was. I'm not sure what happened, but this isn't the Mahow we all signed up for. How's the gaming chair?


Mellin
Was cool on the Xbox but he's never here anymore. Maybe he's joined Richie in his final resting place? I don't know, was kind of hoping he'd turn up to the kick about so I could take the piss out of his accent but I don't think he's coming.


Multi
Seems pretty helpful the few times I've ventured in the fitness thread, apart from that to me he's your run of the mill poster and is happy to have a seethe and to have some lols. Good man.


nickfootie5
My fellow Photoshopper, I've had some good times in the mugshot and 'where are they now' thread. Occasionally I go back to look at that picture of Lofty as the Korean PM, superb stuff.


niko_cee
I find him quite funny, but I'm not sure why to be honest. Comes and goes from the forum and I feel like I only really seem him in football topics, but I might be wrong there.


Offshore Toon
Had a great spell before he moved to Uni but I imagine he's been too busy since. He used to be a divisive figure but I think you can't help but like him these days. Has a knack for making a decent thread too and perhaps over the summer he can give the forum a boost, as I imagine it's going to be pretty dead outside the WC sub forum.


Palmer
Why hasn't he come to a meet yet? Lives in London yet he's bottled it, so I imagine he's got a face like the elephant man or he's Rik Waller's body double. Until that time, he'll be that mental image to me. However I think he might be a handy-andy so when I move to London and need a new chest of drawers, I hope I'll be getting mates rates for a Palmer Original.


Panda Bear
Talks some absolute rubbish sometimes, which he puts down to his medication/depression. Quite an honest poster but I don't really see what he gets from this place anymore except the odd Werewolf game or having in-depth conversations with mert which read like someone threw up a thesaurus.


Pen
I'll never forget our meets in Manchester, him in his full kit, strolling up to the pub. What a geezer. Look forward to his return to England some day, hopefully I'll have a full kit by then too.


Pepe
He's never fucking happy is he? So much negativity, hopefully you're more positive IRL otherwise I feel sorry for your missus. However, I do find his putdowns and negativity actually quite funny so what I'm saying is, you're a cunt but I find you funny :bas:


Pleb
You were pretty weird on Fifa, have a memory of having a chuckle over FIFA because you were saying something funny on the mic.


Randomlegend
Randrew is a great nickname, hopefully you take to IRL too.


Raoul Duke
Helpful man, given me a lot of information over email and hopefully it'll come to fruition this summer. Looking forward to meeting him and part of the original FIFA mandem, so a legend basically.


Regista
The football thread guru, took the baton from Weaver and firmly shoved it up his arse and smeared it across Weaver's face in the process. Including TV schedules in the OP was a genius idea and it's a shame on all of you that no-one thought of it sooner.


ScousePig
Bottled the meet, what a drip. I used to think he was a bit of a gimp but over the past year or two my opinion of him has changed. Seems a nice bloke, bit prone to name drop in the Regular Football thread though. One day we'll meet and he'll probably glass me, as he's from up north.


Serpent Gazeux
Pope Gazeux is a bit of a hero to the board, when you think about it. Pepe proved what a mess a werewolf game could be if done by the wrong Mexican, so I have respect for his contributions. I feel he has a very different outlook on life, due to his religion, but I think a lot of the time it is tongue in cheek when he denounces those who go against his beliefs. I'm led to believe he's nice IRL and I can't see why that's not true. s


Shindig
I always get confused, do you actually work or do you pretend to? All I can think of is posts in the job thread saying people are being let go from his work but he always remains… Are you a bit of a big man on campus there or are you in the firing line too?


Simon.
Mr. Simon, the bottling bake well. Hopefully he meets my expectations at the kick about, seems a likeable person from Facebook. Has a bit of beef with Lewis and I get a guilty pleasure when I see it rear its head every now and then. One of my favourite people on here as he's happy to have a bit of fun and also to engage in a paragraph war when it comes to football games.


SincereTheRebel
The trivia machine. Unintentionally funny and seems to have learnt the English language by watching American films, 'the fuck outta here'. Given me a few photoshop lols too.


SpokesmaN
Keeps us up to date with transfers and through that he creates lot of conversation.


Spoonsky
I think he's a bit sensitive at this point in his life. I can't remember how old he is (16?) but I'll put it down to that. There's an inherent want in all of us to 'be accepted' and I think with age you learn to deal with it better, I felt guilty a few weeks/months ago when I made a remark about him coming to the kick about and he took it in a way I didn't intend. Anyway, enough psychological analysis from me. Enjoy your school days, working life sucks.


SvN
Never posted a picture of his coworker with the big tits, what a bakewell. However I should probably befriend him


Taz
He's going to seethe when I nutmeg him in a couple of weeks, so I'll try and soften the seethe now. I find him probably one of the funniest people on here and I only bother reading the 'somehow about Liverpool' threads when he's arguing with GS or Smiffy.


The Merse
Prone to the odd wall of text, which I instantly skip as I can't be dealing with it. Seems alright when posting other stuff though.


7om
The man, the enigma. What is it about America that's keeping him there? How fit is his Asian wife? Is she a Tia Tanaka or is she an Asumi Yachi? What kind of scientist is he? Did he invent AIDS? Who knows, but he should be researched.


Toby
Abandoned us for a girl, the melt.


Townsend
Bit of a plod along type of poster, you read his post, have a smile in your head and then continue on as if it didn't happen. I don't mean this as a diss, I just can't think of a nicer way of putting it. I don't find you annoying, unfunny or just unlikeable, but at the moment I find your posts a bit forgettable.


Trancemeister
Mr. Transfer, I enjoy his updates and it saves me making the effort to browse the web to keep up to date.


Waffelz
Less of a knob these days, much welcomed. Feel he had a mini-crisis last year and told a few fibs, however I don't know what goes on his life so it could be completely understandable. Either way, I think he's more interesting to read now than he was last year.


Weaver
Big Weavs was a terrific left back for the FIFA mandem, will always be in our hearts.


Wullie
Funny, not much more to say though I'm afraid. Felt a bit harsh skipping him as I do enjoy his (sparse) posts.


Yevrah
Sometimes I find his football views painful, but he seems to have calmed down after doing that parody (giving managers time etc.), although he was joking I think a part of it rubbed off on him. He'll always be at TD and it's a good thing, as not many people here can start a discussion like him.




Simon. -


Job done. Fucking have it.

http://i.imgur.com/INrn7iD.gif

adamski — He's new, he's not overly offensive and I've not much more to say than that. It's always nice when we get new people on the board, as it's much more of a rarity these days. Stick around, son.

Adramelch — I write the same shit about Adra every single year and nothing will ever change. He's Greek, he's a decent chap and that's about it. I promised myself that this list would be fun to write, but we're off to a poor start.

AE — Alb! It sucks that Colorado didn't work out for him. But that's the nature of football and I hope it doesn't see him dip out of the game, when he's clearly a very good player. Find another club and make it there. Good luck!

Alan Shearer The 2nd — I know he posts, but I can't really remember anything of substance. You can take it either way, it means that you're not doing much wrong, but then again, I'd struggle to think of anything to say about him, if he died suddenly. 'Newcastle fan, liked BMW's, erm, yeah.'

Alex — Probably the best 'part-timer' that we currently have on the board. He has a music collection bigger than the whole of TTH put together and he seems to have heard of everybody that's ever stepped into a studio and recorded something. It's mightily impressive. I remember him mentioning that he'd love to open a record store someday, so I hope that comes to fruition.

Andy — See Shearer. Lovely chap, but not all that interesting.

Apples — Got married recently, iirc? A victim of the dreaded TIMEZONE DIFFERENCE, Apples would probably be more of a fixture if he didn't live on the other side of the planet. He's always seemed alright though.

Bamster — Bam's facking boring, bruv. I don't av a facking thing to say 'ere, awright?

Benny — Benny is clearly awesome. You'd think you'd get tired of the Lofty photoshops after a while, but it turns out that that's not true. They remain as fresh as the did on the day he posted that infamous rollercoaster picture. The switch between being a Blackburn fan to a Spurs one has been interesting. Normally you could simply put it down to being a GLORY SUPPORTER, but Blackburn have probably won more than Spurs over the last 20 years, so who knows what it's really all about? By the way, what is it that you do for a living? I want to say something that involves graphics, but I'm really not sure. I don't think anyone really knows, to be honest. You're like the Chandler of TTH. Does your girlfriend look like Courteney Cox? :drool:

Boydy — Has a shit job, apparently. Which is a shame, because he's obviously very intelligent. I remember something about a masters degree in the works, so hopefully that works out and you go into a career that you actually want to be in, what that may be.

Byron — Lovely chap. I can't think of too much to say about Byron, as he doesn't really seem to push to boat out too much with regards to his own opinions. Either that, or he does and they're all completely inoffensive and standard, that I haven't noticed. Apologies if that's the case. Maybe become a bit more like Saint. Ram it down people's throat. The people will love you for that.

Captain Trips — He cares, really. He likes to pretend that he doesn't have the foggiest who any of us are, but deep down he knows us all deeply and desperately wants to be involved in some form of TTH meet. I know it, you know it, we all know it. Just embrace it and become a happy chappy. Posting wise, he's not as bad as he once was. He's toned down all of that I AM A REAL AMERICAN (just wanted an excuse to quote that Hulk Hogan song) shit and has become much better for it. Take note, mert.

chaodck — He seems like a really, really happy guy. I love that. We have too many negative people on TTH and chaodck breaks the mould a little bit with his beaming smile and his extravagant cooking skills. What's it like to live in Chile? Is it much different to living in other parts of South America, or more of the same? The whole continent intrigues me, and I'd love to visit there one day.

Charlie — Charlie is fantastic. His dog seems like the best dog ever (sorry Sama and Frank) even though it completely destroyed his sofa. And living in Taiwan must be incredibly awesome/interesting. I'm not sure I'd be buying weed in the country for the sheer fear of spending the next 20 years in a Taiwanese prison, but props nevertheless. How long are you planning on staying out there for?

Chinny Hill — To be honest, it is pretty funny when he comes onto TTH completely steaming and berates anybody who he doesn't like. In fact, apart from that, I don't think he really posts all that much anymore. So at least when we do see him, it's thoroughly entertaining. Oh, and I should mention he's really helpful in the Computer thread when he's sober. I like that version of Chinny as well.

Chrissy — Fucking hell, the shitting the bed story is up there with my all time favourite TTH stories. I just find it wonderful in every single way. Good luck with the comedy stuff though. I've not watched any of the Youtube videos, mainly because my Scotch isn't up to scratch, but you seem like a pretty funny guy. Don't give up on it.

CJ — I used to enjoy the World Football thread when it was Sama on his own, madly following the Colombian title race or whatever. These days the CJ/Taz love in over Irish football just causes me to skip reading the thread. Irish football ain't got shit on South America. CJ is cool though. Pretty part time these days, but he still chimes in with interesting stuff once in a while.

Corduroy — I guess he fell off. I remember the days when people were talking about Cord taking over Wullie's role of 'the funny one' on TTH. He always seemed reluctant to take up that role and has since then faded into the background. He occasionally comes out of his shell and posts something, but it's barely noticeable anymore, and that sucks. Think he's gone through a fair bit of IRL stuff iirc, so it's understandable.

Danny — Think he still posts, but not much. Decent guy.

Dark Soldier — It's awesome to hear that he's now well on his way to getting his life in order. For a long time I think that a lot of people (myself included) believed DS to be this extravagant enigma of a poster, who didn't give much of a fuck about anything. But I think recently people have started to appreciate him a lot more and realise that he's done a lot of good stuff on the board and is always willing to help people out. He's a top man really, even if he is only a part-timer on the board these days.

Davgooner — Occasionaly very funny and the rest of the time he's pretty decent. I think he's been around for donkey's years and has probably seen it all about three times over, which explains his posting style fairly well, I think. Not much more to say than that, really.

Demerit — Demerit is an estate agent, right? He's decent in the Werewolf games but is pretty much only background noise around the rest of the forum. I don't have anything bad to say, really.
diljeet — He's still around, so you have to give him some credit for that. Better men than him have left the board because of the abuse they've been subjected to. Although I think that's subsided over recent years, as I think everyone has got tired of telling him that he's shit. So it seems everybody has taken to ignoring him instead, which I think is better for everyone.

Dj_Luca — Baller. Should post more. I'd love to meet Luca IRL, as he comes across as a very interesting person. So yeah.

Foe — It's strange that out of most the posters on here, Foe probably has one of the highest paying jobs. He's taken a lot of stick over the years, but that's quite brilliant. If I'm right, that is. But he must be up there. Anyway, I've always been a fan of our tiger-onesie wearing friend and would happily meet up for a drink if he's ever anywhere near to me.

FrancisWalsh — He still depresses me. Think I wrote something similar last time around, but his general disdain for everything isn't even entertaining. Like when GS rants about how shit his job is, at least it's an entertaining read. Giggles' posts aren't even that, so what's the fucking point? Be happy!

Fry Crayola — I'm very tempted to write something sexist in here, just to get him riled up.

Hammerstein — Hammerstein is an interesting fellow. I can't really make him out and I'm not sure whether he's just a bit eccentric or a full on mental. He's good for the board though as he posts some very interesting stuff and is always trying to initiate discussion. Which is something TTH desperately needs at times, because the majority of us are lazy fucks, who cannot be arsed to even type a few things on a keyboard. Right now the WDYTOE thread is undergoing a seethe about how I've not yet followed through with a list. I'm upto this point now and I'd just like to say that you're all lazy cunts. I'll also be intrigued to see if any fucker pulls this part of Hammerstein's entry up, instead of skipping the whole fucking list and only reading their own name. If I'm taking this much effort to write the first list, you better fucking read it. Jesus, I'm seeting. Anyway.

Harold Bishop — That rant would probably have sat better under Harold's entry. Time and time again he manages to sucker people into arguments and goes on to proclaim e-victories because he keeps arguing until the other person dies of complete boredom. Offy said a few months back that IRL Harold is probably the most normal person going. He's probably right.

Henry — He's hardly around these days. He's probably one of the people that Harold has quite literally bored to death. Chalk up another e-victory for the man of the people.

hydrocephalus — James is cool. I think he's probably a Greek Van Wilder but that's not a bad thing in any way. He ends up with a fit Tara Reid, after all.

Ian — I never really understood the 'fuss' about Ian. As in, I think a lot of people had him down as one of the best posters on the board, which is a little bizarre from my point of view. That's not to say that I don't like him, I think he's a sound chap. But he's maybe a little overrated.

ItalAussie — He rarely posts all that often these days, but it's generally interesting enough when he does.

Jimmy Floyd — Jimmy is an interesting character. I actually find him pretty hilarious, all things considered. I don't think that he actually truly believes most of the stuff that he posts (mainly the foreigner stuff) but then again, who actually knows? He has some very odd views on football and other things, but it's entertaining nonetheless. And he does offer a good amount of insight on many different topics when he's got his serious hat on.

John — John is awesome. His posting has taken a back seat over the last 12 months, but he still brings the tunes regularly into the Dropbox folder we have setup. I'm massively grateful, as I'm pretty rubbish at downloading anything house related. I tend to just Youtube various mixes and then forget about them as the weeks go by. He should post more on the board again.

John_Arne — One of the slightly mental Liverpool fans iirc. They're always fun to have around, so yeah.

Kikó — Kiko is another one of my favourite posters on the board. He keeps everything light-hearted and has a very dry sense of humour. Has a good taste in music as well, so I'd imagine some serious shapes are going to be pulled at the Kickabout afterparty™.

kizmarlo — I don't think Kiz fully understands how TTH 'works' yet. He's been extremely prone to going off on one and having a proper seethe over some quite nothing comments in various threads. He's often ended up backtracking once he's been mocked for seething, which is never a good thing. If you're going to have a seethe, fully commit to it. It's better for everyone, that way. Anyway, he seems like a nice chap in general and I'm sure he'll be a very good poster in a year or two.

Laurent Robert — Sama is like a dog with three legs, who you can't help but love. But then he will often gain much sympathy, because it sounds like he has a genuinely shit time of it sometimes. Would love to meet him IRL and I'm sure he's a wonderful man.

LeeCovFox — Lee is fucking hilarious. He rants about his job in a similar way to GS, only he adds a wonderfully pervy edge to everything which makes his posts that much more brilliant. If he hasn't been locked up in the next five years, he could easily be on Yev levels of stature with regards to the board. I must say, I don't like Nigel Pearson though. He strikes me as a proper chancer, even though he's done very well to get Leicester promoted.

LeedsRevolution — A bit of a tard, really. Think he's been through a fair amount of real life shit, so I can excuse it, but yeah. Although he's been much better over the last six months than he was during his early days.

Lewis — Lewis is an all round top, top, top man really. I know he finds my life decisions completely baffling (and arguably stupid) but I like to think he respects me a little because I've decided to fully commit to them. He's one of those posters who you can tell are exactly the same away from the board as they are on TTH. Which must be incredibly interesting, as I can imagine a lot of people reacting to him in peculiar ways. I think that's probably why he doesn't have many proper friends IRL. Not because he's socially retarded like I once believed, but more because he will literally say exactly what goes on in his head. And it will run people up the wrong way and then they won't take the time to actually get to know him. I think that's one of the reasons why he's so liked on TTH. Because he's been around long enough that we all know him better than pretty much everyone does IRL and we realise that he's a fantastic bloke.

Lofty — He's still utterly disgusting but equally hilarious at the same time. The rollercoaster picture is immortal and will forever be used as a way to sum up Lofty's personality more than anything words ever could. Although the infamous 'tea incident' of a few years back does a pretty good job of it. That remains one of the strangest and funniest stories that I've ever read. :D

Luke Emia — The hip story and the cyst thing must have been properly horrible. Good luck with your recovery. :)

m1j1browning — Good in the Werewolf games, kind of unnoticed everywhere else. See Demerit really.

Mahow — It's cool to see him pursue teaching (I think?) and get his shit together. Obviously that has taken its toll on his posting quite a bit, but I don't feel like we're missing much. A big criticism of Mahow was that there was a shitload of posts without any of them really saying anything. So now that the volume of posts have faded, nobody really cares. Especially as it's for the greater good, as I'm sure his actual life is better because of it.

MartinSAFC — Played some poker with him on Pokerstars a few months back, which was pretty cool. Very sound bloke.

mert — Very part-time these days, which most will have absolutely no problem with. Maybe he's starting to outgrow this place? Who knows. Either way, the record became boring and repetitive a long time ago.

mf_phonics — I don't really have much of an opinion either way. He seems to annoy some people, but I've never really had that problem with him.

Multi — Has a tendency to go all alpha-male and start sounding like Mert if you get him on the topic of women. Which sucks, because apart from that, he's alright. Multi strikes me as the kind of person that really doesn't fit in to the stereotype of the board, in that he's very different as a person to most of us. But he makes it work fairly well and it's always cool to have people that are different.

nickfootie5 — Deleting names for fun now. Come at me. Nick's photoshop skills are better than Benny's. There, I said it. The North Korea photo was an utter masterpiece and there should be some sort of award given out for that alone. Apart from that, he's a solid poster. Good on all things Chelsea and decent everywhere really.

niko_cee — I disagree with a lot of niko's opinions on football and I'm of the belief he's the same about mine. He comes across as a sound person though and he's good to have around.

Offshore Toon — I've always gone through stages of liking and disliking Offy. At the moment, I'm pretty neutral. He's not been around for a little while due to uni exams, I believe, but when he is around it's always decent for the board. He creates activity, he knows how to make a good thread and is one of those people that you do miss a little bit when they stop posting.

Panda Bear — Panda's Facebook is more of a news website than a profile about him these days, which is kinda weird, but he makes it work. He flits in and out of TTH as and when he pleases, but it's always good when he's around. Would happily go for a drink with him if I ever visit Canada or whatever. Plus he seems to be a bit of a boss with women, so it couldn't be bad to hang around with him for a few days and leech off the leftovers. :cool:

Pen — Benny's entry on Pen had me genuinely lolling and I'll struggle to ever top that. Pen is obviously awesome and whenever he's England again, we should go for a drink again.

Pepe — Pepe has grown on me a lot recently. For a long time I never really understood the 'hype' surrounding him, but recently I've decided that I love the type of poster he is. Never serious, here for the BANTER and just generally pretty funny.

Randomlegend — RAAAAAAAAAANDREW. He's alright, really.

Raoul Duke — Raoul is around a lot, so I feel like I should have more to write here than I do. It's not like Demerit or Browning where he's background noise, because I don't think he is. But I'm just struggling to write anything decent. Maybe he doesn't share all that much about his personal life? I dunno. Seems like a lovely chap, anyway.

Regista — Reminds me of a young me. So puritan, so heated on my views on football and generally a bit of a 'good football, mate' warrior. I've calmed down since those days because it just gets tiring banging the same drum over and over again. You'll probably get to that point soon as well, Regista. But yeah, in general I think he's one of the best newbies we've had here in a while. Post more about other things than football (if you already do, then sorry) and you'll be one of my favourites in no times.

Rocchi — Can't say too much, but he's a decent newcomer.

ScousePig — A bit of a baller, if his exploits in the regular football thread are anything close to the truth. It's a shame he's not going to be at the kickabout, because we could've formed quite the partnership. Now I'm stuck with Benny, who's footballing skills I seriously doubt.

Serpent Gazeux — I've said it before, but GS is one of my all time favourite posters. He has a way with words that I just find brilliant and his general disdain for most things is pretty amusing. He's recently transitioned into one of the LADS, which is something I wholeheartedly welcome. Now we've just got to get you drinking and you'll be a fully fledged member of the TTHLADMATES community.

SincereTheRebel — His general wonder and curiosity for the most trivial of things is awesome. It's like Sincere is an alien who's landed on Earth and is just trying to figure the world out. His written English has improved tenfold since posting on here (something I think most of us could say) and he seems like he's learned an awful lot in general over the last few years. He's just a proper champion all round, really.

Smiff — I sympathise a lot with Smiffy because he takes a massive amount of stick for simply pouring his heart out on the board. I think a lot of people are quite guarded with what they post on here and I think it's very refreshing to see someone post exactly what's going on in their lives, no matter how shit it might be. I can sort of relate to some of the stuff that he's gone through (obviously on nowhere near the same scale) because I think that I'm prone to making the same mistakes over and over again, much like Smiffy. I think that if he became more guarded and more aware of what he posts on here, it wouldn't be the same, so I hope he doesn't change. Although I have to say, the Liverpool stuff was absolutely hilarious and I can't leave that out of this entry. :D

Snapman — More than a little bit weird/mental, but pretty fucking funny when he wants to be. Post more.

Snazz — It is Baz, there's just no chance it's not. He's still cool though, I don't think I really disliked Baz all that much.

Spoonsky — It's been interesting to see how Spoonsky, Vim and Waffelz have grown up over the last few years. I think Spoonsky has been influenced by the board the most out of the three and I think he's consciously tried to model his personality on a couple of the older lot from here. There's splashes of Lewis, Toby and Panda all in there, which becomes very strange when I say that I find him pretty fucking annoying. He's not done anything offensive to me and I don't believe he's a cunt or anything like that, there's just something there which I find irritable. I apologise that I can't pinpoint exactly what it is.

SvN — SvN is a decent, all rounder. Can't say much more than that.

Taz — Taz is a proper champion. His posts on football are pretty boring these days (unless he's being serious, when they actually become very good) but he's still a complete boss on every other section of the board. I just hope he doesn't bottle booking this pitch for the 14th, otherwise he'll have the whole board seething. I'm actually pretty glad the responsibility is no longer mine, as I'd have been fucked.

7om — Fuck working 80 hours a week in a lab. Fuck that so much. I would also like to echo Benny's question about your wife. Is she actually fit? Are we talking Asa Akira levels of Asian beauty, or does her vagina resemble a dead animal like most of the Asian porn that's on the internet?

Toby — Like 7om, I also wonder what Toby's girlfriend is like. Maybe she's the controlling, trouser-wearing type because he's practically disappeared since he's been with her.

Townsend — I'm not sure what's happened, but he's descended into full mental recently. He seemed so normal as well. What the fuck has happened?

Trancemeister — The gimp mask. :D Hahahahahaha.

Vim — Vim seems to have undergone a transformation much similar to my own, where a once athletic, fit individual with so much potential has become overweight and ruined everything. We should try and diet together, or something. Vim is cool though, I like him.

Waffelz — I get the feeling that Waff has gone through an awful lot of personal stuff over the past few years and that's kind of made him into the person he is now. He seems a little bit damaged and insecure and has taken up a bit of a narcisstic, cocky persona as a sort of cover up. I may be out of line and comepletely wrong with that, but that's the impression I get. Be more like the old Waff. He was naive, but positive and full of potential. This version just rubs me up the wrong way and I'm sure I'm not alone in that.

Yevrah — He remains a complete collusus. His posts often read like a tabloid newspaper article, but they're every bit as entertaining. Like a tabloid newspaper, he's wrong a good percentage of the time, but who really cares? He got Moyes watch very right and Taz has not been the same since. That's a proper e-victory. Take note, Harold.

[Samadini]

Townsend -


My meagre effort:

Boydy — Miserable boring cunt, probably a virgin.
Byron — Seems like a nice guy.
Captain Trips — Trips is sound as, I'll always remember how he acted upon his arrival, like an absolute mong but these days he's a good poster.
chaodck — What a nice guy, sorted some custom kits out for me and was ridiculously helpful about the whole thing. I can't imagine this guy ever falling out with anyone, he's just too nice. :thbup:
Chinny Hill — Dumb cunt.
Dark Soldier — Remains a sound bloke but I miss his writing, always used to enjoy reading pretty much anything he'd written.
Foe — As sound as they come.
Fry Crayola — I think of Fry as the main beardy bloke of the forums. He's a bit mental and probably has some weird hobbies but overall he's a good sort.
Hammerstein — I've read his posts on the education system with some interest but aside from that a brief dredge of my mind isn't coming up with much.
Harold Bishop — This lads fucking mental. Most threads he participates in quickly go downhill but occasionally when he's not on his soapbox he can actually be quite a good poster.
Henry — Henry is one of my favourite posters. Many years ago I thought he was an utter, utter cunt but he's matured well.
Ian — Absolute top bloke whether he's hosting hax or waxing lyrical in the gamezine.
ItalAussie — What a boring, soppy mincer.
Jimmy Floyd — Utter, utter twat. The sheer pretension and pomposity of this guy is unreal. Most of his posts read like he has one hand raised in the air to deliver a lecture because he thinks he knows everything. You're a cunt.
John — Seems an alright bloke, lucky to avoid a square go after giving me a few points but he knows the score when it comes to music so we're cool.
Kikó — Kiko seems like a well rounded chap.
kizmarlo — Seems to be trying quite hard recently, a bit like Spoonsky when it comes to wanting a pat on the head but as a grown man he has no excuse.
LeeCovFox — Lee is a proper bloke. He's worked hard and got himself a decent job and it's always interesting/entertaining to read his views and experiences on both football and his missus.
LeedsRevolution — The Rev. Another like Trips who has settled down.
Lewis — I quite like Lewis, he's a funny guy but a very odd bloke too given the lack of friends and such.
Lofty — I love this guy. His taste in books is impeccable and most of his contributions to the forum are a varying mix of hilarious and gag inducing.
Magic Johnson — Fuck off back to whence you came.
Mahow — Fucking weird, I saw an autostic/mongo perusing the spice rack in a Sainsbury's once and thought that could be him but to be fair he's alright.
mert — A bit like Harold in that any thread he's in goes downhill but with absolutely no redeeming qualities.
Multi — Living a good life, lifting and ploughing.
Offshore Toon — One of the best geezers on the boards, doesn't seem to be posting as much recently which is a shame.
Panda - Sometimes this guy can seem a bit mental or a bit pretentious. But actually he's a lovely bloke, he's gone through some serious depression issues but the majority of his posts remain positive and he seems to have an ability to see the best in even the worst posters.
Pen — I like Pen a lot, helped me to understand Ice Hockey a bit better.
Pepe — I'm running out of steam now but getting to Pepe has reinvigorated me, such a top lad, doesn't take it too seriously and makes good contributions all over the shop.
Regista — New blood, he's made a promising start.
Serpent Gazeux — Can be a negative, miserable cunt and can be guilty of posting like Jimmy but does enough to redeem himself the rest of the time.
Simon. — The boards main LAD. Seems like a normal bloke.
SincereTheRebel — Gets high marks for his babe thread contributions and also for the occasionally inadvertent hilarious post.
Smiff — Smiff is obviously unhinged but I love him and I'm always rooting for him when it comes to the mental health thing. He's just a nice guy.
Spoonsky — Tries so hard, desperate for the likes of Lewis' approval but as he's just a bairn you can't fault him too much.
Taz — Taz is a quality poster, applies no filter to anything he says and a lot of what he posts is probably what you're thinking yourself but haven't got the baws to say.
The Merse — A shared passion for Scottish rugby will always see me and the Merse bound tightly together like an octopus and it's prey.
7om — Tom. Always enjoy having this guy in a hax room and to be fair I'm going to put it out there and say he's my favourite poster. He seems like quite a normal guy and has a laugh without any pretensions.
Toby — Many think he's just a big headed cunt but Toby is actually a gentleman. Will always call a cunt a cunt which you can respect.
Waffelz — Waffelz can be seen growing before our eyes. From an irritating little brat to a big cunt. I jest he's a good lad.
Yevrah — Yev can be like a terrible mix of Jimmy and GS, miserable and negative as fuck, posting like a pompous prick. But most of the time he's got more a human side to him than the pure cunt that is Jimmy. It's also worth saying that his opinions are better founded and he's often right. A great contributor to the FM thread recently too.



Serpent Gazeux -


Adramelch —A quiet contributor who occasionally keeps things ticking over in the threads he partakes in. I don’t have anything particular that I can add to this, largely because he is neither offensive nor a cunt. I would welcome an increased posting contribution, which is probably more than I can say for most people.

AE —I like AE because he’s an inoffensive type. Whilst there have been certain bumps along this particular road, Abortion-gate in particular being a difficult one to charge over and pretend the wheels haven’t loosened a little, he’s largely come through unscathed. I was genuinely gutted for him whenever I heard he’d been released by that MLS side, but that’s just one of those things. It’s also pleasing to see that most people have moved on from taking the piss. Whilst he’s unlikely to win a Nobel prize (are any of us?), at least he’s not a prize cunt and I’ve come to value that a lot more than I did when I was a yoooooof.

Bamster —I would like to pretend I “get” Bamster, but I’m afraid I get the impression he’s sitting there in his boxer shorts with a smug look on his face every time he posts something sarcastic. Then he’ll turn to his wife and explain that he’s just “e-donned this mug” or “put him in his place”. I can’t remember the last time he made a post that didn’t appear to be dripping with barely-concealed contempt at still being alive.

Benny —He’s a top lad, Benjamin. The switch of support from Blackburn to Spurs was a surprising one, but I suppose nobody wants to go to Lancashire to watch a load of chicken farmers take the piss.

Boydy —I must prefix this entry with a caveat: I like Boydy. Having asserted that particular point, it pains me to say that he can be very, very annoying. This doesn’t manifest itself in outburst of “lol”, immaturity or general childishness. It’s worse than that, because it comes through as absolute bizarre black-and-white idealism that is wholly separated from the real world. His views seem to oscillate depending on the latest leaflet he’s read or which political activist he has been talking to in the street, and his perpetual whinging, whilst providing amusement given its inevitability, does start to grate a little bit. He was once a fine poster, but has become something of a parody of himself. Absolutely BOTTLED a suggested meet in the summer of 2010 as well. He’s a good lad, but I think it’s getting lost as he thrashes around to try and find an identity for himself. A little prone to pointed sarcasm as well which doesn’t come across in the harmless fashion you’d hope it’s intended.

Byron —A criminally under-rated poster. He keeps things ticking over very nicely in numerous threads. He should probably post a lot more than he does.

Captain Trips —Trips is one of those posters who could be perfectly normal, reasonable, acceptable or any other synonym thereof you may choose. Alas he appears to have deliberately positioned himself as a contrarian weirdo with a car crash love life which may or may not be completely fictional. With prejudice already strong against him on the grounds of being American, it’s hard to see what he hopes to gain from it. Attempting to position yourself as the Mug’s Mug is fair game if you’re looking to establish a niche for yourself on here, but it needs to come with occasional wit otherwise you just end up as Zimidy-lite.

chaodck —I really like Chaodck, but I’m always left with the unfortunate impression that he posts irregularly because he’s on day release. I wouldn’t be going to any barbecues at his house in case I end up under the patio, let’s put it that way.

Charlie —I like Chaz, but I find it very difficult to believe that people are paying him money to teach them English. With the greatest possible respect, if Chaz is the best you can do in Taipei then you simply haven’t looked hard enough. That said, I don’t find it remotely difficult to believe that he’s effectively swapping English lessons for sexual favours. It’s all a bit World War II whenever the Germans would swap food for sexual favours from desperate peasants who were fleeing east to avoid the Russians. It’s things like this which explain why Germany is half the size it used to be and why Vlad the Impaler thinks the world owes him one. You’re contributing to that rampant twattery. Fucking stop it.

Chinny Hill —Chinny has performed a remarkable feat by confirming that he’s not a complete waste of space. Quite how he has pulled himself back from the brink of impending fuckwit clause I don’t know, but manage it he has.

Chrissy —He means well, but there’s really only so much leeway you can give to someone who literally – literally – shits the bed.

Corduroy —He continues to describe himself as the introverted weirdo in the corner who only speaks up whenever he’s asking someone to open the door for him because he doesn’t want to touch the handle. I think he’s unfair on himself. He has a quiet wit and he’d probably don a TTH meet. Perhaps the third or fourth meet he goes to so he can acclimatise to the sort of dons who turn up to this sort of event, but acclimatise he would. Piss-taking aside, you’re a good lad and whilst I’m not going to pretend to know you I think you’d go very far if you simply showed a little bit more confidence in yourself.

Dark Soldier —He’s a bit like Vladimir Lenin after he took a stroke and had to get wheeled around in a chair. By that I mean he doesn’t post that much anymore and only makes occasional input as and when he feels the need, but that input comes with the voice of authority behind it. He’s effectively the board’s “spiritual head” (alright, Buddha) by virtue of longevity and a general wisdom which he occasionally hands down. He appears to be doing well recently “IRL”, which is fucking tremendous news. Good luck with it all, sir.

Davgooner —He’s a quality poster, Dave. I wouldn’t be remotely surprised to find he’s been arrested for flashing people, however.

Demerit —I like Demerit. I think he works as an estate agent, but I can’t be sure because he never mentions it.

diljeet —The receptor of some unwarranted bile. He’s clearly a couple of grapes short of a full bunch, but let’s give him the benefit of the doubt. He’s inoffensive and doesn’t really deserve the collective head-shaking that follows his latest admittedly shit post. Do your thing, ‘jeet lad. Ignore the haters.

Dj_Luca —Well, he’s a fucking legend isn’t he. He might want to take a holiday at some stage to try and give everyone else a chance to do something worthwhile, but that’s going to be up to him. I might make it a deliberate policy to try and befriend him “IRL”, so when he ends up running the country I can either get a job or some sort of peerage.

eltharion_doa —Elth used to specialise in a superior tone, confidently dismissing and striking down those who did not immediately accede to his point of view. He appears to have mellowed. Fuck knows why. Maybe it’s because he actually has enough money to buy food now, or perhaps he’s just realised he was impressing no-one. He’s a quality poster now when he does turn up though, so I welcome the change.

Foe —Having had the good fortune to meet Foe, I can confirm that he is a “top, top” bloke. I will hear no words of ill will directed towards him, although his assertion that he felt he’d need a “bullet proof vest” if he was in Belfast did register like a punch to the chin because it made me realise how much of a shithole everyone must think the place is.

FrancisWalsh —Giggles’ move from introverted Yorkshire Ripper-in-waiting to a more extroverted approach to life has been quite the transformation. From admitting he used to pull the curtains on his days off and hope no-one knocked the door to confessions of looking up hookers in the local area and taking women out, he’s moved from an impending suicide case to someone embracing a zest for life. I’d like to think it’s because he met someone who saw through the contempt for life, but really I think he saw heroes like me and Lewis enjoying life and decided he wanted a piece of that particular pie. Granted he goes about it in a slightly different way which I’m sure the Lord would not approve of, but I suppose you can’t have everything. I would invite you to a Belfast meet, but I think you’d probably end up hanging yourself.

Fry Crayola —His forced bohemian-ism is somewhat grating, as are his repeated attempts to pitch a tent on the moral high ground to judge the rest of us mere mortals. I wouldn’t mind if he didn’t look like a cult leader, but this unfortunate image combined with the moralising has you thinking that if you transplanted him to first century Judea he’d be expecting scrolls written about him. I don’t especially mind him however, although the occasions on which we cross paths do tend to follow a similar pattern. Fry moralises, I mock, he reaffirms his moralising, I get bored and then someone wanders in and gets sarcastic. Fair play on developing the game, by the way.

Hammerstein —He’s allowed to work with children. Think about that.

Harold Bishop —Harold is amusing whenever he’s not talking about religion. Everything non-religion based is generally okay, even if he does sometimes become somewhat bogged down in a particular viewpoint. And rather than cede ground, he just digs a deeper trench and hopes the tanks don’t make it over onto the other side. The religious discussion is Harold’s black hole, an absolute dumping ground for time and will to live. Yet he continues to have the debate and repeat the same points over and over again. I just don’t know why he bothers.

Henry —I like Henry. Granted there are occasional times when his blind idealism simply has to make way for realism and he utterly refuses to cede the ground, but what can you do.

Ian —Ian’s an excellent poster. I don’t really have much that I can cite beyond this because he hasn’t said or done anything which is deserving of ire or ridicule. Using that as a barometer he’s actually quite boring, but this place would lose a lot if he didn’t bother.

ItalAussie —Miles better than he used to be. Whilst he very clearly reads and re-reads every post he makes to the nth degree before then immediately editing it to reflect for fear it’s not quite perfect he does mean well. I couldn’t be fucked running the board, for instance. I’m also fairly sure that he reads a copious amount of material on Wikipedia before venturing into any topic outside his immediate comfort zone, but that’s not necessarily a bad thing because he doesn’t – generally – act the twat over it. There are moments where he lapses into the old-school condescension that grated with everybody, but he mostly avoids this particular dishonour and I think we all welcome it.

Jimmy Floyd —He’s a quality poster and deservedly in the top two for however many years in a row it has been now. I’m not sure what the ones above are on about frankly, but so be it. You’d struggle to find a topic he doesn’t smash out of the park.

John —He’s mellowed massively in recent months which is a great shame as watching him explode on some unsuspecting wanker remains one of the great sights of the board. I’m hoping that he’s just building the seethe and once someone sets him off it’s going to be like the moment Krakatoa erupted in 1883 and you could hear the fucking thing half-way across the world.

Kikó —Having met Kiko, I can confirm that he’s a top bloke. His contributions to the forum aren’t especially varied as he mainly keeps himself to the football side of things, but his contributions in there are always worth a read. It’s welcome having fans of other teams on here who are measured in their opinions, although I did enjoy his continued early confidence that Moyes was not the Chancer’s Chancer. He took the ribbing after Sunderland knocked them out on penalties at the Meet quite well, although his borderline flirting with the narth Laanndaaann quiz master in an attempt to earn us a few points didn’t pay off in the manner he was hoping for. Still – legend.

Laurent Robert —hihi – top bloke, is Sama. It’s a great shame he doesn’t post more, although the cardboard box doubling as a bedside table has to rank as quite possibly the single most depressing thing I may ever have seen on this board. It was almost worthy of organising a fundraiser for him, the poor bastard.

LeeCovFox —Lee’s quality. I enjoy his input into the jobs thread because he, like me, has had the contempt for a lot of it beaten into him through the sheer passage of time. Where some of you are idealistic and start out with grand ideas of loving your job and loving life because of it, people like Lee and me have reconciled ourselves to the daily grind up Mount Purgatory. Whilst I now ascend a much easier face of the Mountain, Lee continues to be knee deep in shit as he tries to wade to the top. Like Sisyphus shoving a massive boulder up the Mountain constantly only for the fucking thing to fall every time he nearly reaches the top, such is Lee’s life in public sector management. Right when he thinks he has achieved something it’s then that someone, somewhere, will fuck it up for him. Or so he claims. Questions remain as to whether “Lauren” is real, and he is surely going to be questioned at some stage for his Humbert Humbert-esque confession about getting hot and bothered on the bus, but you can’t have everything. He probably reads Lolita as an educational book rather than the novel it is.

Lewis —He probably is the best poster on the board, even though there appears to be a growing minority in Club anti-Lewis. A purveyor of putdowns that I’m sure more than one of us have stolen for real life use, he largely dons most of the topics he turns to. We might have to get involved in another World War II “what if” discussion, because they’re usually quality. I don’t really know how he managed to end up with two shits in the awards, but I suppose we can probably ascribe it to jealousy and move on.

Lofty —I don’t really know where to go from here. You have two sides to Lofty. You have the LAD banter where he brings out the slightly-grotesque “Pain Train” pseudonym to try and get a cheap laugh. Then you have the other side where he appears to be one blow in his personal life away from bursting into tears. His recent travails with his most recent partner has been an eye-opening indication of the inherent twattery that exists in modern Britain, and really he should be getting himself onto some sort of TV show to justifiably bitch about the state of it. Yet for all the attempted aloofness over it, he just needs some brave fucker to give him a hug and tell him he’ll do alright for himself. I think we’d all welcome it if he imposed some boundaries on the topics he’s willing to share on the forum, however. Or at least put a fucking disclaimer on some of it.

Mahow —The strange sense of ridicule that engulfed him after what I will term “The Shoebox Episode” was wholly unmerited. That it came from the likes of Boydy was also a laugh. This sort of conduct, especially given How’s previous admissions of an introverted outlook, should have been met with enthusiasm and metaphorical pats on the shoulder. Granted he may have completely weirded her out, but he put himself on the line a little bit. Fair fucking play.

manc sean —He doesn’t post very much anymore, and I welcome this because he contributed little beyond Fanboy Elitism and suspect grammar.

Mellin —Don Mellin. Post more, for fuck sake.

mert —This ground will be well covered by other people, so I am reluctant to effectively repeat what is now accepted wisdom. We all know the score here, so let’s just move on.

mf_phonics —Phonics is a strange one. Sometimes he comes across perfectly reasonable and almost friendly, and then he’ll suddenly lapse into “utter cunt” mode and start spraying everyone with shit. I don’t know why this happens, nor do I really care, but less of the latter would surely be welcomed. I’ve assumed he’s just attention seeking but it’s a bit difficult to know. His occasional input into the politics threads belie a general lack of understanding of the topic he is engaging in.

Panda Bear —He doesn’t really post that much anymore, although I would like to register my surprise that he managed to not only sign up for but actually participate fully in a Werewolf game. I’m unsure how much of his life narratives are embellished. One hopes that there is a certain degree of exaggeration otherwise he’s probably close to throwing himself off a bridge that he hasn’t had the chance to lead the bohemian lifestyle espoused in the novel Trilby by artist twats in Paris in the nineteenth century. I also don’t know if he’s joking when he talks about his abhorrence of footwear. You’d fucking hope he is.

Pen —Pen needs to post a lot more than he does, although I realise this is unlikely given that the vast majority of his time on here was previously spent when he was at work.

Pepe —He’s mellowed rightly in recent months, although quite what he brings to the wider forum I’m not really sure. I think we treat him like a bit of a mascot really, not because we’re racists but because he doesn’t really serve much of a purpose beyond that. It’ll be a shame if he does get deported, because then we’ll have no-one to rally around when Team Twat start getting arsey about things again.

Randomlegend —A bit of a lad, really. He seems a decent guy, struggling through the Slough of Despond rightly to the other side. I’m pleased to see him doing better. He’s improved a lot as a poster in recent years.

Raoul Duke —Duke is s quality bloke. I’d like to see him post more on here than he does as he clearly knows his onions and some of you would benefit from his input on matters.

ScousePig —I really like Scouse, and his contributions in the football thread are always worthwhile. When you break it down into technical crap within the sport, Scouse is probably one of the strongest posters we have. He just seems to “get” football in a manner that some people don’t. I believe he’s doing well at university and generally, and this is welcome news.

Shindig —I barely notice Shinners’ outside the jobs thread, but his contributions in there are excellent.

Simon. —I like Simon a lot, but there appears to be a growing minority who think he’s some sort of retard who is slowly regressing into a fool. I couldn’t tell you why this is the case. I’ll restrict myself to saying that Simon means well and should probably be given a little more leeway if he happens to be acting the cock. His oft-stated ambition of becoming a professional football coach remains somewhat far-fetched, and you do get the unfortunate impression that he’s hoping to bump into “Jose” at the petrol station and be taken on as some sort of mentee. The chances are slim, but keep plugging away. Tobias’ dream was to get a job not involving data entry and he managed it, so there’s no reason you won’t be prowling the touchlines of the Camp Nou translating for the manager one day.

SincereTheRebel —He’s a moron, but he means no harm.

Smiff —Well, this is a difficult one. He appears to move effortlessly between Plain Ease and the Slough of Despond depending on whether or not he’s had a good day at work. I can’t quite make a determination of his mindset and whether he’s just hopeless and desperate for someone to point him in the right direction or attention seeking a bit. The non-cunt in me wants to think it’s the former because to permit yourself to act in such a way to the point people on here might actually worry you’re going to top yourself would be a bit much. I like Smiffy, but I think he needs to work out what he wants from life and go from there. The constant reversion, doubting and chucking things up when it doesn’t work out isn’t working. You’re not a bad guy, Smiffy – I hope you get sorted.

SpokesmaN —Does he talk about anything that isn’t Celtic? What’s even the point?

Spoonsky —I still think Spoonsky is about 13, and some of his posts recently have indicated an underlying mertishness which should really be crushed under the Mormon yoke immediately to prevent the contagion spreading further. I don’t really have a problem with Spoonsky. He occasionally belies his age with some of his commentary on certain subjects, but this is inevitable. You’d think he’s lined up to replace Floyd when the latter finally calls it a day.

SvN —He’s a very good poster. I don’t have much more to say beyond this, but he’s a good enough poster to deserve not being culled from the list.

Taz —He’s a little bit of a parody of himself sometimes, but the vast majority of what he says is very clearly said tongue in cheek.

7om —7om is a quality poster. There seems to be a small cartel of twats whose names escape me right now who don’t view 7om in the manner that is expected. You don’t take a three-figure winning margin as Best Newbie without something going for you, so anyone questioning 7om’s unassailable right to claim “top poster” status needs to have a word with themselves. With that said, I do have to say that is mightily convenient that his wife’s dad just happens to own a massive company in the field he’s working in. Convenient. Not planned for career advancement. Obviously.

Toby —Tobias appears to have an issue with me which occasionally manifests itself in an unprompted and unprovoked barbed comment or two. I don’t especially mind, having ascribed it to continuing resentment over the proliferation of “Tobias”, but it’s about two years later and it’s still happening. Perhaps it gives him a purpose beyond ascertaining that there’s a world beyond Shetland, I don’t know. I don’t dislike him, but would I trust him to go the shops for me? Probably not. I think he’s still trying to claw his way through the Valley of Humiliation that ensued following the Two Shits shambles. That’s also been a year and a half but you get the very firm impression that he carries the burden of those Two Shits every time he confirms a post – as if he’s just waiting for everyone to dismiss his views out-of-hand on the back of it. Stay strong, Tobias, lad.

Townsend —If you were able to unfreeze Oetzi and teach him English, he’d probably get on like this.

Trancemeister —I don’t notice him outside commentary on Scottish football, usually Celtic-related. The rules of Northern Irish society dictate I dislike him for this, yet I don’t find myself caring enough about Scottish football to muster anything more than complete indifference. I think he’s on the wind up sometimes, or tries to be, but is continually met with that indifference from people who aren’t me. You’d think he’d probably be seething, but instead I think he recognises no-one really cares. He reconciles himself to it and has a go the following week in his attempt to generate a reaction but gets met with that indifference. And thus the cycle repeats itself.

Waffelz —Has improved massively in recent months but is always going to be tarred with the childish, post boosting brush. It took Mahow about four years to move past the post boosting tag, and that’s only because this guy waded into his turf. You’d think Mahow would fought a better rearguard action, but faced with a pincer movement of Waffelz and Dim Vim there probably wasn’t much he could do. You can decide for yourself which of Waffelz and Dim Vim are the Germans and which are the Soviets pushing the Pole out of his natural turf. He’s alright though, is Waffelz. I don’t particularly give a shit about Dundee United, but at least he gives a shit about a team. He could probably do with recognising the rest of us don’t care that much. Is there not a Dundee United-specific forum you can go and post on when that topic needs to be discussed?

Wullie —Obviously not at his peak any more, but those rare occasions when he hits the heights are worth the wait.

Yevrah —Yevrah is outstanding. I don’t know what grounds the doubters have, but they’re mugs and they’re wrong. Yes, matters can be a little black and white with Yevrah sometimes but that’s part of the appeal. Put him up as your barrister and he’d don the fuck out of matters for you in no time. He’d have the jury believing Hammerstein wasn’t walking about the cloakroom sniffing coats. He’s absolutely vital to the board and his continued contribution should be encouraged and welcomed.

Zimidy —Zimidy has the great misfortune of not maturing as the years have gone by. A few of us have had prolonged spells of twattery, where the sole object of your contribution appears to be winding up people who take the bait. Mellin can attest to the now-six-years-ago (fucking hell) scandal of “Fuck you, pay me” for Gaz Baz. It was a long road back, but somehow it was traversed to the heights of now. Zimidy continues to sit at the bottom of the hill, flicking his spit at people walking past and looking desperately around to see if his mates are laughing. I’m not sure what he even gets out of it because we all just ignore him now.




Chrissy -




I am going to work on an alcoholic fuelled system of "Good Petal", "Awright Petaland just "A Petal".


adamski — The lad is from Ayrshire. Possibly thinks a fox is a gay dog. On the list of folks I would buy a pint but wouldn't take home. Good Petal.


kizmarlo — Love his FM input on the your game sections etc. Has argued like fuck over some points but he has a spinal cord and doesn't back down. Oh and it was really good watching your chimp out in TDPL :) Verdict - Good Petal


Nick — Has to put up with everyPetal doesn't he? Really sound guy and has the patience of a saint. Administrating this place must be like picking peanuts out of elephant shit at times, as its a clusterfuck of false accounts, xenophobia and outright stupidity. Good Petal


Offshore Toon — One of my favourite posters. Love reading his pish when I scan through a thread. Starts the best threads on here as well. Good Petal.


Serpent Gazeux —Is very opinionated on the Scottish independence banter and keeping the Union together. More passionate than most Scots I speak to. So fair play to him for giving a fuck that so many of us don't. Another that I enjoying reading the posts of. Very much a Good Petal.


Vim — Good input on the FM side of things. Gets in about it like a junkie with a depository. Sometimes results in some shite but all round good vibes nonetheless. Good Petal.


Adramelch — Aye well, he posts. Naw fuck it. Not going to hold back. You cunts have fucked the Euro for the rest of us. Verdict - Awright Petal.


AE — Aye, some proper legendary stuff with the football and shit. Then what the fuck happened? Explain yourself. I had dreams of stalking and fucking everything. Wanted to name drop you in drunken conversations of knowing "of you" when you got famous. You have fucking ruined my life. Verdict - Good Petal

Bamster — I have been taught never to speak ill of my elders. Thank fuck you are on here, as I feel fucking young with you around. Good Petal.


Benny — A sensible and thoughtful poster. Knows a Petal when he sees/reads one. Possibly why he has my card marked as a total and utter Petal. I don't hold this against him though. Very much a nice guy and rarely posts anything I disagree with. Good Petal.


Byron — He's from Kent or Essex or some shit? No doubt survived the floods (was that Somerset?) and is enjoying life. "Money is no object" in restoring whatever wealthy lifestyle you had before the countries plumbing was fucked. Stay strong. Me being an unfunny weird fuckwit aside, really enjoy his posts. Verdict - Good Petal


Captain Trips — Fucking American right? A smart one too. Paradox right there for stereotypes around the world. A bit fucking concerned post Scottish Independence that he'll invade for our oil. Just mind, as someone else said on here, its Shetlands fucking oil when you're launching the Napalm. Oh and Dundee are complicit. Carpet bomb the fuck out of Scumdee. I am 100% sure we WOULD notice and would laugh as a result. I fucking hate Dundee by the way. Fucking Jute, what the fuck is Jute anyway? I am not googling it. I'll remain happy in my ignorance that no one really gives a fuck about what Jute is and as such there is my views on it. Aye so Trips. You post some insightful comments and some inciteful comments. Try to stick to one or the other as I like you dude, I really like you. Not in an IP tracking way, more in a "oh look what he's posted" way. Verdict - Good Petal

chaodck — Alexis Sanchez and miners. I am going to pray for your emotional well being after the Spain game and the join with you in the laughter as the Dutch lot on here send you hate mail after your lot pumps them. Oh and tell the squad to fucking pump Australia. Can't have those cunts getting good at another sport. The English have just about dealt with the cricket and Rugby superiority. Oh your FM content for shirts etc is good as is your posting on here. Verdict - Good Petal

Charlie — This is from the heart. If you think shouting at.... :) ahhhh nearly had you there. Seriously though. Shouting at neighbours over daft shite. Wise up. :) See that smiley, that infers its jokey. Its the internet way of saying "Hey I am being a total snide Petal, but hey there is the smiley, its BANTER! BANTZ". In all seriousness, couldnae give a flying fuck about what you get up to dude. Best of luck over in the distant west and enjoy life dude. Its for living. Cannae be any worse than fucking Bolton at any rate. Kudos to you. Verdict - Good Petal

Chinny Hill — How's being a councillor treating you? UKIP on the rise. Uber Alles and all that jazz. You are one of the Hitching's disciples and no doubt are labelled as "easily led" by many on here. It doesn't matter. If it wasn't for you and Flair I really wouldn't be exposed to right wing bollocks at all on he internet, so keep it up. You cannae have debate or an argument if everycunt agrees. You have a place here as a result. Keep up the Petal work Verdict - Awright Petal

Corduroy — Mr ying yang. I thought I was temperamental. Buy a kitten, don't strangle it. Awright Petal.

Dark Soldier — Funniest poster on here behind Lewis. Back in the day when I used to lurk and browse the forum (internet dogging of its day) his posts were the ones that made me laugh. Never meet your heroes they say. I suspect, like Benny, you have sussed me for a Petal. Hopefully a good one. Extracts The Urine rather well on threads and never takes himself seriously. Good Petal


Davgooner — An establishment of innuendo and levity. Keep up the good work and well done on winning a trophy. One liner merchant. I'll possibly be re-reading your posts to steal your banter, as fucked if I have any decent shit of my own. Good Petal


diljeet — I'm going to edit this afterwards. Just so you know what its like :) Don't want to type anything else as I am against internet bullying. Petal


Dj_Luca — Get me some fucking sarnies. Good Petal

eltharion_doa — Apparently you are the proverbial dogs baws. I used to read your posts WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY back in the day with interest. Have you had the temerity to have an actual life in the meantime. Selfish. - Good Petal

Foe — You fucking sicken me with your happiness and general approach to life. You gloriously nonchalant cunt. Good Petal.


FrancisWalsh — You are the mental Spurs Petal right? Don't frequent the same threads as you. Well in on whatever it is you do. Benefit of the doubt given. Good Petal.


Fry Crayola — I have typed in Scottish at times in the post purely for you :) I would love for you to take a week off work and do your own list dude :)

Hammerstein — A poster that makes an effort to engage and be a good cunt. Good Petal.



Harold Bishop — Not going to bash the Petal. He may be utterly wrong but by god does he fucking keep those blinkers on and keeps fighting the fight. Hitchens is dead by the way. Fucking let it go. Verdict - Awright Petal


Henry — Properly gets upset by shit on here at times. Though it adds to the scenes. Fights the left wing/fuck racists fight very hard. For that, Good Petal.


Ian — Sound guy, fills the ranks and the threads out. Gives a fuck but doesn't give a fuck. Which is the key to forum success. Good Petal.


ItalAussie — Aye the trains always ran on time under that Petal eh. Something seriously sinister going on with you. Admin dude, slightly suspect. Just what are your vices, fucking out with it. Enough of this respectable shit. Good Petal.


Jimmy Floyd — I fucking hate Chelsea. Bought a strip when I was younger with Coors on it. They wont he Cup Winners cup and I loved the team with Vialli and Gullit. Live was pretty fucking good. They were my English team. Being a Killie fan at school I didn't have any real success to cling on to, but there was my English team winning and doing it in style. Then you fucking sold out. I couldn't be a smug cunt anymore and now I don't have an English team in protest as you only get to choose one and anything else is fucking whimsical and suspect. Just how can you emotionally remunerate me for my damaged 20's/ I have watching the EPL the past 10 years with virtually no interest and just fucking seethed at Chelsea winning the title under Jose, cause I couldn't take part. My life is fucked. Hope your happy. There is a deep, horrible fucking black hole in my soul and its where Chelsea was once in my heart. Fucking lovely bloke, intelligent and engaging poster. A credit to the board and internets humanitarian effort. Top cunt. Verdict - Good Petal.


John — Really solid awright Petal. Rangers fan but despite this awful handicap, he has managed to produce some excellent posts and generally help tide shite over here. Good Petal.


Kikó — 26 Caps for Spain impresses no Petal. Good Petal.


Laurent Robert — Another funny dude. Keep it up dude. Good Petal.


LeeCovFox — I just keep thinking of Cartman mocking Kenny for being fucking poor when I think of Lee. Fuck knows why. Good Petal.


Lewis — Easily the funniest Petal on here. Also a total cunt as well. However, if he wasn't both, it would be contrived. He is obviously just being himself on here and some of the posts are sharp, if not brilliantly dismissive. Good Petal.


Lofty — YOU, you total fucking Petal. No matter what I do. You are up there with the Petal that told me to type in lemonparty and blue waffle into google. There is NO FUCKING EXCUSE for the turd in the bowl post. Fucking lovely Petal. Train fucker as well. No doubt rolling in it when he's no posting it. Good Petal.


Mahow — Is no doubt a lovely guy. I have hardly had any interaction with him on here. Mores the pity. Good Petal.


Mellin — Another decent Petal Part of the fire damaged furniture. Good Petal


mert — Is utterly seething, no doubt, at that cunt in the U.S. Elliot Rodgers, beating him to it in the "women won't fuck me - I have firearms, Chimp Out 2014". Always next year you misogynistic cunt . cunt .

mf_phonics — Not seen him post much. Awright Petal .


Panda Bear — You are fucking mental, like proper mental. I'm giving you the Good Petal vote as I am slightly fucking concerned what will occur if I don't. You post some random shite at times dude, truly random. Good Petal .



Pepe — You are actually a welcome addition to this place in recent years. Fuck all the "the board is fucked" threads/posts. Your an example of fresh foreign blood coming in and raising the bar. Good Petal .



Randomlegend — The clue is in the name. Another good Petal .



Raoul Duke — Another solid poster across the TTH threads. Neither awesome nor shite, just a good Petal .


Shindig — You got mentioned on stage at a gig I was at by Stewart Lee. Fucking nice one you Petal . Good Petal .

Simon. — Really ok dude. Fuck the guys giving you a hard time on here. Fuck them hard. Good Petal .


SincereTheRebel — Proper awesome Petal with excellent taste. Give this Petal some respect. Good Petal .


Smiff — Got a loan of a tenner you 50/50 risk taking Petal ? Good Petal .


Spoonsky — Due to legal proceedings and possible issues regarding interaction with this poster, I cannot comment. Good Petal . Young Petal , but good Petal .



SvN — You scare me.



Taz — Scouse. Good Petal . Oh and Saurez is a dirty cheating Petal regardless.


Toby — Takes a lot of stick but I'd buy him a few pints. Good Petal . The definition of "Seeth" on here to some.



Waffelz — Your lot lost to the farmers. You'll never recover from it. WWE thread spoilers aside, he's a good Petal .


Yevrah — Poor version of a Jimmy clone.


7om Very good Petal .





All the views are from my drunken self and much love to you all for posting on this board, regardless of what type of cunt you are.



As Jimmy says, if you don't like the above, fucking type up your own and slaughter me.

[Samadini]

Kizmarlo -


On my mentions so far, I'm glad people seem to think that I'll be a non-cock once I've settled-in, gives me something to work towards, I suppose.

In the meantime, here's my first TTH list.

adamski — Know adamski from the FM Sections, and he seems to have made the transition quite well over here.

Adramelch — Decent guy, really saved my ass with some translation stuff for work, which was nice.

AE — The whole Draft saga made AE shine in a different light. He's meek and mild, like a cuddly otter, and just comes across as rather pleasant and humble; which is great.

Alan Shearer The 2nd — Don't really know much about him, but do see him posting in the football threads every so often. He's not offended me, and yet he's still not done anything to actually stay in memory whatsoever. He's like a homemade vegetable stew - alright.

Andy — Seems to be able to 'kick-off' sometimes, or at the very least seem to be on the verge of it, but also is passionate about his club, which is nice. Always helps that he seems knowledgeable on the game as a whole, too.

Apples — I'll follow Simon here and say that the timezone issue is a bit of a bitch to overcome. The only time I've really experienced Apples is in a Werewolf game where he was a bit of a cock, but to be honest, I can hardly talk when it comes to those things so I'll let it fly.

Bamster — I only know to PM him with any questions. Nothing else.

Benny — I actually really like Benny. He can be confrontational and refer to the TTH standard of calling anyone that isn't in the top 20 posters a fucking idiot, but sweet lord are his photoshopping skills hilarious. When he's not acting the (brilliant) class clown, he does piss me off a bit, but as I've said, the hilarity that spews forth from his talented fingers negates that.

Boydy — I don't have a strong enough opinion of you to put anything worthwhile whatsoever, and I don't know why that is. So I'm leaving this up here as a reminder to actively find out more about you. You've been warned.

Byron — When it comes to FM, I still have my solid 'feels' for Byron, but he seems to have gone a bit quiet over here.... Maybe quiet is harsh, but it does seem like he only posts to :drool: about potential signings at West Ham and/or post middle of the road stuff about real life. Get some bacon on the go.

Captain Trips — I remember his old Team America routine from a while ago, and that was really fucking dull. However, he seems to have calmed-down a bit, which is nice. However, I feel bad for having to say that I don't really know much about the guy as everyone else seems to have strong opinions either way about him. Time will tell.

chaodck — :wub:

It's all been said before over 'that other place' on the forum. However, I'd like to add that chaodck and I could easily be stars in a shit 80s police drama. I'd be the furious whippet that beats people up and gets into trouble; and chaodck would awkwardly gurn in the background to much hilarity, smile and get us both off the hook.

Charlie — His tales from Taiwan can be great and often get me genuinely laughing out loud, but he also has a tendency to be a cantankerous prick to boot, as with most of the people here. Still, he makes me laugh, so much like Apples, I'll give it time.

Chinny Hill — An absolute bore. I can't even bring myself to say that I 'hate' the guy, or anything like that, because he's just so... special. His anti-Welsh comments really do rile me because if they came from someone who wasn't alcohol dependent, I could laugh them off. But, he's just some pissed-up Northerner with nothing better to do than to slag-off others just because they're from a different part of the same country by dropping-in shit puns and claiming that as some sort of e-victory. I shouldn't bite-back, but he's just such a cunt.

Chrissy — I've crossed swords (not in a gay way) with Chrissy in the past, but have a lot of respect for him due to his knowledge of FM and will continue to do so. I used to find his comedy angle a bit of a bore previously, but it seems to have cooled-off of late, and he's settling down into some happy medium which is nice to see. He needs to get some confidence and just go with 'it' though, whatever 'it' is in the future, as I'm sure he'll be fine - but just seems a bit tentative at the moment.

Danny — Of no note to me. I felt it's worth keeping him on the list though, as I'm sure we've interacted in some way, but I cannot remember it at all. Hopefully it wasn't terrible/great and causes this entry to backfire.

Dark Soldier — I was surprised to hear that DS had some stuff going on, as he's always seemed alright to me. But hey, this is an internet forum, who knows? Still, I like his interaction with the FM side every so often, and he's a generally good guy by the sounds of things. Says things as he sees.

Demerit — I only really remember Demerit posting in the Job thread, or in the werewolf games, so again, not much to go on. Decent enough.

eltharion_doa — Strange one this, but I know he was one of the guys who pissed me off when Cardiff were relegated by calling 'seethe'. I get that I'm a hot-headed, bad-tempered twat, but if I wanted to get trolled I'd revert to acting like a teenager and going on 4chan rather than put up with some shit attempts from grown men on here.

FrancisWalsh — Seems a bit of a miserable fuck. Not that I mind. The essence of 'vanilla'.

Fry Crayola — Made a game :sorry:. I'm sorry I don't know more about you though, as people seem to have a fair bit of positive affection for you.

Hammerstein — Weird chap who comes-out with some weird stuff and some very different personalities each day, too. I do worry that he might 'do a Townsend' at some point in the future as he seems to be a bit prone to it, which would be a shame, as he's generally innocuous.

Harold Bishop — See Chinny. Those two are probably normal, nice guys in real life, but they're both the walking definition of this generation's internet culture, they're both pathetic in that sense.

Henry — I've always enjoyed it when I've been in a thread with Henry. Even if it's turned into another bicker between me and some other twat, Henry's presence has seemed to cool things down and move things along quickly. We have too many members of the board at the moment who are too quick to post a one-liner that continues the shit form, and Henry's a good example of how to walk away when you're already ahead.

hydrocephalus — I don't know him from the 'James' days, so his name kinda fucks me off as I neither get any reference nor how to pronounce it. However, he's one that's never tried to pick on the new kid in my eyes, so kudos for that.

Ian — Ian's a nice guy, and seems to be getting some bad press in these so far. He's a good, solid poster - nothing to moan about and nothing applaud either (well, there probably is, but I can't think of anything right now). I know he gave me rep for my chimp-out flowchart in that Werewolf game, so I know he's also got a sense of humour, which is nice. Keep chugging along, you might not be getting the glory, but you're exactly the sort of poster this place needs to keep a hold of.

ItalAussie — Seems a bit condescending generally, but not overtly. He doesn't rile me with it, it just seems a bit... inaccessible. I'm sure if he worked on his tone there could be many more informative discussions on this place, but maybe it's the Admin role that makes him feel obliged to be a bit 'off'?

Jimmy Floyd — Jimmy comes across to me as a middle-class, accentless Adrian Chiles. A bit bumbly, a bit funny in a Dad-kinda-way, and a hint of dim but with the ability to try to talk his way into and out of arguments with ease. I mean that in a nice way, by the way. Miles Jupp would have been a better comparison, really, but fuck it. Chiles has the football link, so I'll go with that. Maybe a hypothetical love-child between the two...

John — John can be a twat, but at least his consistent in his approach, and I respect that.

John_Arne — One of the 'somehow about Liverpool' crowd. There's too many of them on here.

Kikó — I don't know if our recent discussion was him being himself, as I've previously always got on with Kiko, but his celebrating Glazer dying on his own was like seeing an old squaddie getting pissed on his own in a dark corner of a pub and talking to his 'mates'. That 'article' was proper facepalm material.

Laurent Robert — Another person that gets called a different name day-in, day-out and I don't have a fucking clue who people are talking about. This is 'Sama', right?

LeeCovFox — I can't remember who, but someone picked Lee up on his great contribution to the board. Every post he makes seems measured, but not in an Ital way. His opinions are worth reading, and he doesn't go around being a twat for the sake of it. His Job thread updates can get a tad boring at times, as it's basically 'got a meeting til 3pm, then home on call for four days' or something to that effect. To my knowledge, the Job thread is currently the home of GS' existential ramblings and unemployed Scotsmen. Your stuff just seems to break up the momentum a bit in there; but that's not to say you're not a top, top bloke.

LeedsRevolution — Previously had no experience of him, but his shit at the end of the season stuck. If you don't post often, why just jump into arguments? Once a cock, always a cock now, as I doubt he'll be about to change my opinion of him much.

Lewis — Lewis strikes me as a kind-of cooler, more clever little brother. Always ripping the shit into me, but I still admire the fact he's great at what he does. Hopefully once I settle-down we can have a giggle and I can parody his inner monologues a bit more. Also one of the guys who really doesn't get it when I'm being sarcastic or 'faux-seethe', and jumps on it. Please stop that. #seething

Lofty — He's still utterly disgusting but equally hilarious at the same time. The rollercoaster picture is immortal and will forever be used as a way to sum up Lofty's personality more than anything words ever could. Although the infamous 'tea incident' of a few years back does a pretty good job of it. That remains one of the strangest and funniest stories that I've ever read. :D

Luke Emia — Never really saw much of Luke before his medical situation, hope everything goes well for you.

m1j1browning — There seems to be two sides to browning, and I guess that's because there's two sides to me. On one occasion, we can chat away nicely and get on, and then there's the other times when he calls me an idiot. Either way, you're sound enough, just liven it up a bit.

Mahow — I like Mahow, and I also like how he's cooled-down a bit of late to focus on real life. Good on you. However, this does mean that I don't have much to say, compared to others. Gutted.

mert — Boring fuck. Still pops in every so often to tell us that guns are a good thing and that the US is the best place in the world and that women deserve to be raped, or some similar garbage.

Multi — A bit like Mert when it comes to the opposite sex, maybe it's a Turkish thing? Still, posts a fair bit about football and isn't a complete empty-headed twat, so good on you.

Nick — Incredibly sound guy on the FM sections, but seems a tad dull on TTH. Still, got a lot of time for the secret Welshman, so keep up the good work.

nickfootie5 — Another one for the hilarious images. A bit grouchy at times, but giving Benny some hilarious competition can only be a good thing for both of you, and us.

Panda Bear — Yet another person that I haven't been around for years to get to know like others. His posting style seems lazy and dismissive, but there are still times when he posts good stuff, so I don't know what's going on there.

Pen — Benny's entry on Pen had me genuinely lolling and I'll struggle to ever top that. Pen is obviously awesome and whenever he's England again, we should go for a drink again.

Pepe — Pepe has absolutely no time for me, or anyone else new on the forums, which is a shame. I don't know if that's just his general negativity coming-through or not, but it's a real ball-ache to try and break though to be accepted.

Randomlegend — Nice guy, not spoken that much on the forum but I get a good impression of him.

Regista — Top lad. Tries really hard to impress, but without coming-across like a mentalist like me. I have no doubt he'll integrate seamlessly, especially with those magnificent opening posts for the football threads.

Rocchi — Don't know much about the guy, but he's another Scot, so I'll be wary until he endears himself. Still, seems nice enough.

ScousePig — I'm pretty certain that we've locked horns at some stage, but he always seems pleasant the next day. Clean start, innit. And I like that. Perhaps he'd just forgotten who I was, and I've condemned myself, but fuck it. Decent guy.

Serpent Gazeux — OK, this is going to seem really fucking stupid here, but GS' persistent hatred for me actually eats me up inside. I genuinely think that if I could keep calm for more than 20 consecutive minutes, and he could stop supporting Liverpool, we could be friends. His constant displays of utter disdain for me though sometimes genuinely wonder what the fuck I'm doing wasting my time on TTH, as to be belittled by GS feels like getting slapped in the face with a live hand grenade. Chill out with me, MATE.

Simon — Nice bloke, and I'm sorry to say that I don't have much else to go on here. Thanks for the vote of confidence in your list, by the way. I'll strive to do you proud :hail:

SincereTheRebel — Top guy, and I always feel terrible for giggling at his juvenile curiosities, but they come from a really good place; honest.

Smiff — Liverpool :D

Seriously though, I've got a fair bit of time for Smiffy, footballing matters aside. Hopefully he can stop running away from everything at the drop of a hat and challenge things head-on. I get the impression that people don't mind you pouring your heart out in threads about your issues, and genuinely want to care, but you're going the way of the boy who cried wolf with all this 'I had treatment lined-up, but moved to Derby instead', or some other similar nonsense.

Spoonsky — I've not had anything to do with Spoonsky, really. Seems a nice enough kid (ROLF HARRIS, LOL), but hasn't stood-out to me as much as he obviously has with a lot of others on here who have witnessed him grow-up whilst frequenting this place.

Taz — Taz is a self-parody that is parodying Yev's 'more time' parody concurrently. Still, hilarious though. Got a bit unbearable around the title race, but seems back on track now, which is great. Seems to be the ringleader of the masses on this place, in as much as if he says something even slightly disagreeable, there'll be seemingly masses of people ready to back him up with a cheeky 'seething' or ':drool:'.

7om — Nice guy and seems harmless enough. I don't see the celebration of him that GS does, but at the same time there's nothing bad about him at all. A bit of an Ian, really.

Toby — No strong feelings either way as he seems to have pretty-much disappeared as I became active over here. Not that the two are linked, obviously.

Townsend — Previously was completed vanilla, and then suddenly went on an almighty binge of foul language and not much else. Like a shit wrestler with his terrible smack-talk, and needs to calm the fuck down.

Trancemeister — Posts line-ups for games. That's literally all I know him for.

Vim — Used to chat a lot of FM with him, and seems a nice kid.

Waffelz — He's a nice guy, but seems to hold some sort of faulty complex about trying to be Taz #2. We don't need another one. Still, his hyping of Dundee's youngsters is a joy to behold because all Scottish football is shit.

Yevrah — Like DS, but better (absolutely no offence to DS with that). I'm sure he doesn't like me, but fuck it, it's entertaining. If he left, I'm pretty certain this place would fold.



Randomlegend -


Right then:

Adramelch — He’s the Greek who mainly posts on football right? He was wrong about Di Maria and Carvajal, and me telling him so seems to have done him in since he hasn’t made a post since. He’s generally really good on the football side though and is worth having around.

AE — We had a proper little exciting moment with AE’s footballing appearance, although I understand this hasn’t really panned out which is a shame.

I seem to have largely missed what GS termed ‘abortion-gate’ but I hope you’ve sorted out whatever it was that happened. AE always comes across well, I don’t think I’ve ever seen him have a bad word to say on here. I’ve not seen him around much lately, so perhaps he’s posting less which would be a shame, or perhaps I’m just unobservant.

Bamster — Beyond being the recipient of stammering PMs from Hammerstein and assorted perplexed newbies, I’m not sure exactly what Bam does. In my head he’s someone who was more active in a previous ‘age’ of the board and simply lives off a reputation, but whether this is true or not I don’t know.

In real life I envisage him as a cockney wheeler-dealer sort, probably running a market stall, but again this is baseless. I think if anything Bamster is a good illustration of how poor a grasp of the people on this board I’ve managed to attain after so many years.

Benny — He does a great job ticking the place over during the day time along with a few others and his photoshop exploits go almost without saying. In the upper echelons nowadays for my money.

Boydy — I don’t notice him that much at the moment, but when I do he tends to be being a bit stubbornly mental about something. The one which stands out recently was him getting mad about them wrecking that history project to bring people to trial for murder. I mean…O_O

I suspect he’s a good guy though and I reckon we’d get on. Last I remember he was trying not to end up with a job he hated, so I hope that works out for him.

Byron — Byron does a sterling job as one of the group of posters who just keep things going nicely. He doesn’t get involved in any arguments and never seems to have a bad word to say. He just does his thing, says his bit and is a nice presence on the forum. He’ll not win any awards any time soon, but we’d be lost without these people.

Captain Trips — I think he’s massively improved. The “I don’t care” shit should fuck off permanently, but he is actually engaging with the board a lot more and – if it weren’t for his previous reputation – I think he’d be seen as a perfectly decent poster. So drop the act Trips, it’s obvious you are making a go of it here, and you’ll get on just fine.

cearles —Both cearles and chaodck below him fall into an unfortunate group of posters which I just don’t have much of an impression of. It’s a reflection of how useless I am, rather than any fault of their own, and I know they are too good to be deleted so I haven’t but there’s nothing more to say.

I’m sorry chaps, keep it up and in 5 years time I might have managed to form some sort of coherent opinion of you.

chaodck — See above.

Charlie — I find him quite a baffling character. Some of his tales have obviously been hilarious, but he seems to hold some properly mad views on things. Good poster though, the place would definitely have less character without him.

Chinny Hill — Dangerously stupid. Like the idiot on the playground who thinks everyone is laughing with him, not at him. That as a grown adult he can genuinely believe his comebacks are clever or funny is quite jarring.

Chrissy — He’s got some balls posting up a video of himself doing stand-up on here. The potential for ridicule is immense so really fairplay to him and I hope it works out. I’d not read the shitting the bed story until the mentions in here so that was an amusing distraction. Sorry for making you relive it in every single list.

Corduroy — He’s properly funny, but the laughter comes tinged with a sense of guilt as you wonder what’s really going on in his life. I hope it’s not as worrying as he makes it out to be. I’d like to see him take a more prominent position, he could be a really top poster.

Dark Soldier — I go through spells of liking and not particularly liking DS and to be honest I think it’s in line with pretty wild variations in his posting. He’s fairly mellow nowadays – mental, but mellow – and what he contributes is always worth a read and often raises a smile. He could do so much more, and he knows it, but I think he’s settled into being an old stalwart of the board.

Davgooner — Dav dons proceedings. One of the old guard who presides with an air of authority, interjecting where necessary with quality contributions. Guardian of the infamous van, which I’m sure is due an outing, and all around TTH hall of famer.

diljeet — I’ve long been in the “he’s really not that bad, leave him alone” party, but lately I’ve really started to notice it. Like food lost behind a fridge which is slowly going off and starting to smell, the terribleness of his posting is creeping into my awareness. I mean it really is that bad. I still think he should be left alone, he’s been at it for years and he’s perfectly happy and harmless with it, but you wonder what he’s getting out of it.

Dj_Luca — The “President Luca Supreme Ruling Don of the World, haha” thing is a bit tired. The fact that he’s an smashing it out the park IRL doesn’t make him a great poster, and to be honest I don’t think he offers all that much. He goes a bit wanky-intellectual Panda-mode on occasion as well, which can’t be abided. He can be good value in the food thread(s), he looks a bit like Rafael and that video is still brilliant.

eltharion_doa — Elth’s always been one of my preferred posters. He’s a great contributor to the more discussion/debate heavy topics where his opinions always come across informed and interesting. I’d have him on my team in a debate.

Fandan — I’ve had a search and his mainstay threads just aren’t where I frequent. I remember him making me laugh a few times though, so he’s survived the cut just for that.

Foe — Foe’s a really nice guy, he probably doesn’t remember but he sent me a PM years ago when I was feeling pretty shitty to cheer me up. It was a really decent thing to do and meant a lot at the time.

Posting-wise, he does his bit, but I’m afraid he’s another one I don’t really come across all that much. Does he not post as much anymore?

FrancisWalsh — He’s had quite a personality change as a poster over the last year or so. He’s nowhere near as grumpy or volatile, which is a positive in my book.

Fry Crayola — I don’t know really. I was going to say I skip over his long posts, but do I or am I just saying that from reflex? He’s got a bit of a grammar fetish I think. I’d still loink the fuck out of him though. Great effort getting that game out, that’s something to be applauded.

Hammerstein — Hammer gets way more flak than he deserves. Yeah he’s a bit mad sometimes, but he contributes really well to the board and puts effort into making the place tick over. His Ask the Expert thread is a prime example of this. The jibes about him working with kids, whilst I'm sure meant in the spirit of the board, are a bit mean. Whilst you might not agree with his views, he’s clearly really passionate about what he does/wants to do and genuinely cares about education.

Judge people on what they offer, not whether you agree with what they say. No mert, fuck off.

Harold Bishop — I like Harold more than most people do. He suffers from people abusing his points of view and thinking he’s wrong because he’s Harold rather than because he’s wrong quite often, I think. His Hitchens/Dawkins/Flare obsessions are a little bit beyond healthy, though.

I find it very hard to imagine what Harold would be life in real life. I just struggle to understand where anyone like him fits into the real world.

Henry — He’s pretty tame nowadays. He’s alright, we don’t cross paths much.

hydrocephalus — My abiding memory of James is when he made that post on 4chan asking for advice, thinking it was a good idea. That was him wasn’t it? He’s alright.

Ian — He’s a very good poster, but he’s very…standard. I don’t think he’s posted much about himself, he doesn’t have a particularly distinctive posting style, he’s not into tick tings or shitting himself. It’s all a bit beige, there must be some colour to Webly. (just read what DS said about you after writing this :D)

ItalAussie — I’m not that keen on Ital. I don’t think he really relates to other members very well and there’s been a few occasions I’ve found him quite difficult to get on with. Clearly does an unenviable job in keeping things going behind the scenes though, and nothing but praise for him on that front.

Jimmy Floyd — Jimmy is a powerhouse across the board as I’m sure will be echoed elsewhere. Every now and again though he’ll come out with something I find properly bewildering. This was typified by – but not limited to – that fucking atrocious religion thread.

John — This entry is best left well alone.

John_Arne — I’m afraid in my mind you just kind of get blend into the pot of ‘Liverpool posters’, which by rights would have you branded a tool, but you do enough avoid that. Decent. Good. Worth having. Etc.

Kikó — Recent spat aside, Kiko is quality. Oddly enough, I’ve followed Man Utd more this season than I have in years and Kiko is always a good read when it comes to such matters. He claims to be ITK, but how much we trust him is debatable. Your reputation will be tested in the coming days, just how Shaw are you?

kizmarlo — I think he’s pretty good, Kiz. One of the newer posters but he’s got the minerals to get stuck in and have a go which is nice to see. He’ll probably miss the mark on occasion, but his grasp of the dynamic of the board already seems pretty good and will only get better with time. He’s the sort of poster who’ll come to really fit in around the place over the coming few years. G’warrrn son.

Laurent Robert — The fucking ‘bedside table’ was genuinely sad. I don’t really know Sama’s story – he keeps spiders in his hair I dunno – but I really hope there’s some sort of prospect of things being on the up. He’s attended a few meets and sounds like a good’un so all the best.

LeeCovFox — I know he works in the NHS, I’m not 100% sure what he does, but it’s some sort of management role (right?). On that basis he is the enemy. He’s great though, Lee, contemptible pretend-reading of “Lauren’s” work aside. When I qualify as a dishevelled, disillusioned mess who’s had all idealism beaten out of me I’ll come to Lee to for advice on how best to bleed the NHS for all it’s worth.

Lewis — He was off the boil for a while but he’s upped his game again over the recent months. Yes, his digs probably cross the line sometimes, but they are nearly always genuinely funny and his personality is well-known so you have to take it with that as the context. If someone who wasn’t known for it made a similar comment completely out of the blue, it would be different, that’s just how it is.

He’s an absolute pond-dweller for perpetuating Randrew, although I did choose ‘Randomlegend’ of my own volition so I suppose I can’t really complain.
Another meet would be welcomed since I assume he’ll be disappearing off from Norwich forevermore in the not too distant future, although I doubt it’s going to happen with my exams coming up. Text me, yeah?

At the end of the day, he dons the board. He knows it and we all know it. The two shits in the awards were ‘a bit lol’ and the trophies were well deserved. If he ever left the place would be fecked.

Lofty — It’s always enlightening to read what people actually get up to. Disturbing on occasion, admittedly. That girl you broke up with recently sounded like a right twat, I think you’ve done well to be rid of her. The disgusting stories are all good fun, but it seems like what you really want now is to ‘find someone’ so all the best with that.

The rollercoaster picture remains one of the greatest things to grace this board in its history. You’ve been a great sport about it.

Magic Johnson — I get on quite well with Tragic Lolson nowadays. He’s a cunt for fucking off forever and only coming back to search his name or try and get entries in this, though. Really chuffed for him having his little girl who he very obviously adores, though. :)

Mahow — He’s great value in the food thread, seems to really enjoy cooking which is cool to see. Wish I had time to get involved in such activities properly.

He’s come on as a poster leaps and bounds since the “1-0 ronaldo” days, although seeing Jimmy closing in on his crown as post-count high-scorer is seeing my world view crumbling around me. It’s against the natural order of things. You’re going to have to find a way to sort it out Mahow. “going in – coriander”.

Mellin — Mellin’s just kind of one of the old guard to me, I don’t really know much about him. I imagine most of his personality as a poster was built up before my time really came.

mert —He’s an abominable, contemptible twat with an attitude towards others which verges on sociopathic. I suspect in some of his recent antics he is just genuinely fishing for a rise, though.

mf_phonics — Phonics is alright. He used to be a bit of a cunt on occasion, but he seems alright now. I’m afraid you’re going to get put in the background noise/part of the furniture/decent group phonics. Sorry chap.

Mike — I really like Mike (,baz and the Reid). They have fun, don’t take it all too seriously and always raise a smile.
What happened with Baz, did he ask to be banned? Is he actually Snazz? Who is this WDYTOE entry even about? Anyway, keep loving life LADS.

Multi — Multi is quality. Seems very under-rated to me. It’s nice to have another medic on the board, although as I said recently he’s dealt me a crushing blow by waltzing in and graduating before me. What have I got left?

Offshore Toon — He seems not to be posting much, I’ve only noticed him in the Uni thread recently. Saying that, I’m not even sure what it is he’s doing. There’s been some History and some English involved, I think, and he’s older than everyone. All the best with it anyway. :thbup:

Okay_Amigo — Amigo always used to make me lol but he seems not to be around as much any more. It’s a shame, we seemed to share a very similar sense of humour and he was one of my preferred posters.

Although, Lewis’ claim that you are responsible for Randrew sheds a new light on proceedings. Whether he is to be believed is another matter, but should it prove to be true I’m not sure forgiveness will be forthcoming.

Panda Bear — So many words, so little said. He probably thinks I just don’t ‘understand’ his intellectual philosophical musings, but I genuinely think he just talks a load of bollocks. A lot of pretty, fluffy language to pad out the fact there’s no point actually being made.

He seems a thoroughly nice chap though. I’m sure were we to meet ‘IRL’ we’d get on very well, albeit with him thinking the whole I was a bit of a pleb and me thinking he was a bit of a ponce.

Pen — Pen is great. He always comes across like he has a very positive disposition, which is a nice trait and something I think is somewhat of a rarity on here sometimes. As GS said, it would be good to see him around more often. Think he’s been with his girlfriend quite a few years now, which is nice to see as well:)

Pepe — I don’t think Pepe likes me very much, I’m not particularly sure why. There’s been more than just that last occasion where I’ve made a comment against someone and he’s been the first to wade in and tell me I’m shit and shouldn’t be talking about anyone else.

I remember him mainly as part of the so-called “team idiot” but now Spikey’s gone and that’s died along with him I think he’s lost his niche on the board a bit. He’s still a decent poster but he’s pretty much just background noise.

Raoul Duke — He has a reputation as The Most Under-rated Man is Forum Posting History. I’m not quite sure why, everyone thinks he’s a good poster, and he is. He’s solid as a rock and makes quality posts across the board. Not convinced he’s quite the unsung HERO he’s portrayed as though, perhaps I’m missing something.

ScousePig — He’s a really good contributor on the football side of things, but as I’ve said before my interest has waned significantly on that front in recent years so we have precious little to do with each other.

Serpent Gazeux — Me and GS have a storied history, from a period of ritual abuse, through a mutual love of Taylor Swift (what has she done in her recent stuff :(?) to where we are now. I like GS, he’s one of the best posters on the board and we get on well nowadays.

I find it a bit sad to read how much he hates his job, I don’t think I could stick it out spending the daytime hours of every weekday doing something I couldn’t stand.

His very conservative Christian beliefs are a long, long way from my own views but despite that we are actually similarly ‘boring’ in our vices which is what led to my bewildered response to his entry on me. That seems destined to remain unresolved, however.

Shindig — I think I may not have been around much during the first coming of ‘Shinners’, but he’s been fucking brilliant recently. Has a very sharp wit and is one of the funniest posters on the board. I don’t know much about him, but as a board members he’s fast becoming one of my favourites.

Simon. — Simon comes across as a thoroughly pleasant chap. The incredibly in-depth tactical analysis on the football side of things seems a bit…odd. Like, I get that it’s your interest, but isn’t there a better outlet for it than here? Most of us are into football to greater or lesser degrees, but I don’t think many people are going to engage in that sort of discussion. Maybe they do, I don’t get that involved in the football discussions I have to admit.

I like Simon, but I hope he’s learnt his lesson about WDYTOE: open with a list ffs. You were lucky this survived.

SincereTheRebel — I find him, inadvertently, the nigh-on funniest poster on the board with proper belly laughs on numerous occasions. He’s great fun to have around, and after my previous comment that might come across like I’m being a patronising cunt but I’m not. He doesn’t take himself or the board too seriously and seems perfectly nice. Would be more of a loss than I think most people would give him credit for.

Smiff — I recently put him on ignore due to his retarded Liverpool drivel. Perhaps it’s time to take him off since the season is over, but it improved by experience of the board immeasurably so perhaps not.

On a more serious note, it makes me sad to read about the mental health issues you’ve clearly struggled with now for quite some time. I genuinely, from the bottom of my heart, hope you find some way to get things sorted and moving in a positive direction on that front.

Snapman — Snapman is quality. He posts fairly sporadically, although more often in recent times it seems, but when he does he can be seriously funny. He has a brilliant tone to his posting and story-telling which makes it so much better. Post more.

Spoonsky — He’s a staggeringly good poster considering his age. I don’t mean that to sound patronising, but looking back at the posts I made when I first started on this board, it truly is quite something how he conducts himself here.

I have to agree with GS though, there has been a bit of mertish edge creeping in at times and it’s not a welcome change. Perhaps this is just what ‘Murica does to its teenagers.

SvN — Always considered him a bit of a don. Not sure why especially, but he’s quality, doesn’t get involved in any shit and is always good value on Man Utd. Has always been a preferred poster of mine.

Taz — I had a dig at Taz the other day/week for pushing the persona too far and I stand by it. That’s not to say I don’t like him – he’s definitely up there as one of my favourite posters – but with the recent persistent stream of inane Liverpool-related shite on the board, his constant proclamations of all decisions/tactics/transfers/players/etc. related to said club as the greatest in the history of mankind are tiresome. We also clashed a little over our relationship views, but that episode harboured no hard feelings, at least from my side.

Tone down the Sturridge-wankery and get back to top form.

7om — He’s shown how coming in as a new poster should be done. Integrating into this place isn’t easy, the dynamic is hard to read and wobbles around depending on who’s involved and there are plenty of in-jokes/stories to get your head around. He’s done the job as well as could be expected from anyone and established himself as a quality poster.

Toby — I’m not sure what Toby is getting out of this place any more. After ‘Toby-two-shits’ he retreated into this grumpy caricature of himself, which he’s still doing to this day as far as I can tell. I think it was sort of a ‘well if this is what you think of me anyway’.

We’ve exchanged PMs a few times and I really like Tobes, it would be good to see him back to his old ways as one of the top posters on the board. He very easily could be were he to decide that’s what he wanted.

Perhaps I’m misreading it and he just has less time for the place nowadays; perhaps it’s just an air of disinterest rather than anything else. Either way, having the old Toby back would be a credit to the board.

Townsend — What in the fuck happened? It’s genuinely like he’s had some sort of breakdown. I assume he’s just made a decision to take on a particular style and run with it but it’s properly bizarre and I’m not sure he’s got it in him to make it work.

You’ve got two options Townsend son. I think we all know which is best.

Vim — He posts about Italian football, which is nice to have around, and he’s another youngster. Erm…

Waffelz — I’d not noticed him that much until recently, which is somewhat impressive considering his quite staggering post-count, but by god he’s awful. Just annoying shit. I get the feeling he’s trying to make an impact by being ‘edgy’ (agreeing with mert when he’s being a tit, posting ‘faggot’ to get himself warned/banned on a number of occasions) and it just comes across desperate. I think I might have voted for him in ‘most-improved’, so thanks for making me regret that, you bellend.

Wullie — He’s a million miles from his glory days, although that’s probably everyone else’s fault for not giving him a platform for his talents in recent times. He still knows how to smash it given the opportunity. I’ve tried to take him on a few times but he’s well and truly got my number.
He’ll always be great to have around and he still crops up with some gems, but his day to day contribution is pretty meh.

Yevrah — I still don’t ‘get it’. He’s a good poster, he contributes to loads of threads well, he’s a good staff member. Some of his tirades are pretty funny verging on hilarious. I can’t get on board with him being ‘great’. He’s also got a bit of a tendency to go off when someone says his thread/post/idea is shit, which is a bit weird.

Zimidy — Atrocious. He vies with mert for the worst poster on the board, and might even take it by virtue of often being more active. He was crap a few years ago when he just incessantly posted Complete nonsense related to Aston Villa but he’s added to that a healthy dose of misogyny and just general hurr durr LADdish twattery which makes him completely unbearable.

[Samadini]

Lewis -


adamski - Has he come out of nowhere (FM sections)? Was he around before? Does he actually know Seal? Whatever his origins, he seems alright [for a Jock]. He must have caught the eye if he managed to get a slot on this drastically reduced list. Especially in replacing AD at the top of the list, which means a) I don't have to call him a shit for keeping us updated on his running knobrot problems; b) He will learn from that.

Yeah. We'll see how this one pans out.

Adramelch - I normally make a crack about the Germans running his country, and reference the fact he is an engineer, but where do you do go from there? He has moved to Spain, which... Well. It's in better shape than Greece.

AE - His dramatic improvement has probably made people forget just how crap he was when he got here, so credit where it's due there.

That said, I think people were sucking his [massive black] cock a bit too much when he was looking to get into the MLS. It's an achievement, I know; but like I said at the time, Luca is Luca every minute of every day. He would probably be a better bet for free merchandise as well, provided you wouldn't mind walking around in a 'DO YOU KNOW HOW MUCH MY FATHER EARNS?!' jumper. I've got one of his special edition Jimmy Hart-style jackets with a big picture of his face on the back.

Alan Shearer The 2nd - If you're punting people who contribute nothing, Draper, what kept him here?

Alex - Similarly, I'm sure Alex does contribute, but not really on things I read.

Andy - Provides a handy (Arf) Southampton perspective, as well as knowledge of all things DIY, but has never really maintained the form that saw him surprisingly heralded as TTH's Number One Prospective Drinking Partner (That this seemed to coincide with his borderline alcoholism can't have helped). This isn't really his fault as such, since as I said last year, a return to prominence 'would need his business and/or relationship to fail'. Priorities.

Apples - Yeah, he's alright. Had a whinge about the NRL a while back because they don't wear tight enough shorts and cute little vests, but that comes down to him being from the pointless bit f Australia. So, like I say... He's alright. Not bad. He's got that wedding coming up, hasn't he? That should be, you know... Should be a decent day ou...

http://i60.tinypic.com/2lse6hd.png

Bamster - He posts about once a week now. Twat (Forum legend).

Benny - He's decent. He doesn't get any better. He doesn't get any worse. What can I really say without having to mention Lofty? He fancies 'Daws'. There is that, I suppose. He doesn't want what you want, mate. I'm sure he enjoys your Saturdays together, but he's got Tinder and a pile of bailout money. If you insist on keeping at it, just play it cool. PM Mert for advice.

Boydy - Did anybody else find him a bit snarky when he came back? He obviously sees us as a last resort, as opposed to what everybody else sees the board as - a constant in their lives, but there was a bit of an attitude to his last visit. I know he's miserable, and I wouldn't be surprised if GS was using his new-found social confidence to natter him about a meet, but still.

Byron - Wasn't he meant to be leaving Norwich? Has that fallen through? Me and Randrew find it a bit of a ballache having to keep our regular cinema trips and pub crawls secret and 'off board' in case he invites himself, so the move can't come soon enough as far as we're concerned.

He gets better, Bryon. He was good, but there was still a residual FM Sections feel to his posting. Now, not so much, and he resembles more of a crap Floyd than a decent IJ.

Captain Trips - I'm not sure I understood the point of his post in this thread. He says he doesn't care enough to remember us all, and also that he doesn't care enough to know what he thinks of us. Whilst I'm sure that would impress in some circles, doesn't it just make him look a bit stupid? Is he incapable of forming some loose memories and impressions if only through routine? He must at least remember Spoonsky, because he is the only other person who knows who Columbus Crew is (Rapper?).

Just admit you love the place, Warhammer, and we'll appreciate you.

cearles - This idiot can fuck off. Isn't he still posting about FM somewhere? Is he doing a Tommo and devoting his tight t-shirt wearing time to climbing that greasy pole (Not Mahow)?

chaodck - He seems alright. I called him Pinochet once and he got the arse. This maybe isn't the time and place for it, but the General is the reason you've got a decent life and the internet. Do we have any Cuban posters? No. That's the way it was going in 1973.

Like I say, alright. I wouldn't mind seeing some proof of age, mind. He looks a good forty. Maybe his life has been hard. Maybe he was imprisoned as a child? I can see why he might object to pro-Pinochet sentiment if that was indeed the case. Although if he cooks with a parrilla then all bets are off.

Charlie - I like Molton. I really do. I called him a 'waster' in the previous list, but I reckon we would get on 'IRL'. His posting style has become a bit annoying though. It's really breathless, and completely without structure, like a shocked woman recounting a mugging. It might partly owe itself to posting from a phone or whatever, or he could just be going stupid like every other Chinese person. Whatever it is, sort it out.

Chinny Hill - What a year Chinny has had. UKIP winning whatever it was, plucky City winning the title, continuing to don Mahow senseless across several threads at once... The dickhead was in Manchester in the last day when he said he was going to be in Belgium, mind. We could have had that party, you MASSIVE wanker.

Chrissy - You're alright, mate. Like a house-trained Lofty, in many respects. The problem with your act, though, mate - and I speak as the Funniest Poster here - is that you're just telling jokes. Scotland doesn't need another comedian going on about 'jakes' and expecting everybody to imagine their own punchline after the mere mention of Glasgow. Not when the Sebo Comedy Roadshow can go from zero-genocide in three posts. No. What Scotland needs is somebody to hold a mirror up to its failings as a society. Talk about shitting the bed. Challenge the crowd and its perceptions of appropriate adult behaviour.

I'm not happy with 'total cunt'.

CJ - You want to lob those cats in a ditch.

Corduroy - I called him a 'moaner' in the previous list, as well as suggesting that without the constant moaning he would become a 'lesser Webly'. I reckon that still holds up. I also think he tries a bit hard; but then some idiots (Real, weapons-grade idiocy) say the same thing about me, so clearly it's difficult to accurately judge whether somebody is trying too hard or not. In light of that, I'll just stick to saying he's overrated.

Danny - How does he stay on the list when more worthy people get chucked?

Dark Soldier - He only posts about films these days, so meh.

Davgooner - I warned last year that he was in danger of 'appear more miserable and stick-up-arse than he actually is'. Well, old Dave, the don, has just about managed to disappear completely up his own anus. I know we haven't had many war things to talk about, but you need to know that you're settling and becoming irritable. Do you want to be TEG?

Demerit - Yet again, alright, but I feel he's a bit too pleased with himself. He comes across as the type of person they get on The Apprentice talking about how he could sell soap to gypos, only to crash and burn when Lord Sugar objects to his anti-Semitic ideas. The nation needs the housing market to tank dramatically, so perhaps he'll be swallowed up by that.

diljeet - What is the point of him?

Dj_Luca - I'm running out of things to say about Luca, so I'll just suggest that he drops 'Dj' from his username instead.

eltharion_doa - I've heard some people calling him a poor man's niko.

Fandan - He needs to post more about his life that doesn't relate to shift patterns, beer, or American cities. Maybe get right into the sectarian side of football support?

Five Time - I keep having to resort to 'alright', which could be a thread in itself, but what can I do? Likes rasslin', is a Liverpool bitter... Alright.

Foe - Foe has got it sorted. If he finds a way to effectively dodge much of his tax bill in future, then I'll consider naming something after him.

FrancisWalsh - Fran the Man. I like to imagine him bowling around in a now oversized leather jacket NOT GIVING A FUCK.

Fry Crayola - Not bad, although Ital has got much of it covered.

Hammerstein - I like Hammerstein. Like Draper said, he makes the effort. However, at the same time, he can be a bit of a tart. It must be the teacher thing.

Harold Bishop - It's getting desperate now. He must realise he completely flops in most debates. I understand that he has to keep right on and pretend otherwise, claiming non-existent victories, but fucking hell. It's the same pattern every time as well.

1. Make a broad statement based on ignorance.
2. Respond to criticism with skim-read links that often go against the original point.
3. Attempt to refine or alter the original point.
4. Throw a load of unrelated nonsense into the equation whilst splitting responses into different debates.
5. Maintain he was right all along and/or suggest alternative definitions of well-known words and concepts.
6. Claim victory when the other person hangs themself.

As I say, it's getting desperate now. He used to at least enjoy the board and have a lol. Now he actually tries to stop other people doing the same. What is in it for him?

Henry - He's phoning it in these days, but he's still worth reading on everything (Maybe not football), and his half-arsedness lends itself to covering things in a more concise manner than I'm often capable of.

hydrocephalus - I reckon he has found a nice groove between New James' fragile coping-mechanism shitness and Old James' uselessness, which will no doubt serve him as well in real life as it does here.

Ian - The biggest tribute I can pay to Webleck is that he is like the poster Mahow was (Albeit with substantially less activity). He forms a critical part of what you might describe as the TTH rhythm section. It's not all about Harvey Yevrah and Lofty. Fucking imagine that. This sort of description does him a disservice, really, since it suggests he is average. He knows what I mean (If he doesn't, then fuck him he contributes nothing).

ItalAussie - Our issues seem to have all but vanished (What a pleasant chat we had on Wednesday), since there hasn't been anything to KICK OFF about in a while, the odd shitty little warning aside.

I've just seen GS single him out as a Wikibasher, which... Come on. I've said in the past that things tend to be filtered through a technocratic worldview (I would say he is less patronising now, but that might be due to me being less inclined to read his posts as patronising, since I'm no longer 'against' him), but let's not begin to entertain the idea that he isn't the smartest guy in the room. This is in danger of becoming a love-in, so moving on...

Jimmy Floyd - Fuck. I think we've covered it all before, but to give a new idea of how good Floyd is: I read the cricket thread so I can see what he thinks about things I don't actually care about.

You need a purpose, mate.

John - Good old John. I like the way John looks at things. It's probably quite difficult to explain, but, like me, he often manages to work out whether somebody is a pervert reasonably quickly. It's an important life skill, those that don't have it, as he would tell you himself. This all means he posts, and also shares PM lols with me, in a way that I find both amusing and interesting.

Joh_Narne - 7om has made him a bit pointless in terms of picking people you would want to take to a hypothetical new board, since he has the seedy Asian angle covered, but he still does a decent job of trundling along as a slightly questionable weirdo. He is, however, a Liverpool bitter, which is a shame.

Kikó - 'Daws' is better than he has ever been at the minute, the Top Red, 'ITK', lol-producing, Benny friendzoning, Square Mile LAD. When I'm waiting for trains at Liverpool Street I often mooch to the open bit at the back of it and watch the braces brigade talking shit over eight pound pints. Whilst doing so, I occasionally try to imagine 'Daws' doing his best to keep up without accidentally describing something as 'bob on', or demanding to know 'Who is and who isn't?'

kizmarlo - Whoever it was - some loser - that said earlier that he hasn't quite got into the TTH swing of things is probably right (Just admit you seethe, mate). I can see how it might prove difficult to BANTER about Wales because, realistically, what can he possibly say back? That Scafell Pike isn't very tall?

I'm sure he'll find a way around it eventually, because, lest we forget, he does appear to be quite a resourceful geezer. In the Forces, cabbaged out of that, now he runs a hostel for easily-offended wankers. And this despite the weekly heart attacks. Come at him, bro. This time next year he will be Webly-like in stature.

Laurent Robert - I like LR. He looks like Sid the Sexist, but he gets on with it. His life sounds properly shit, but he doesn't moan all that much. Perhaps because he knows anything is better than Wales (OH SORRY KIZ) and his shit dog (It's a shit dog, lads). What am I even on about? It's one o'clock. Decent poster. Good lad. I said I would be his mate in the previous list, and, in spite of what 'Daws' has been telling me, I reckon I would stand by that.

LeeCovFox - In July, 2012, I said 'I've noticed a few people associating him with "stories in the Relationship Thread"... which should worry him'. In May, 20013, I congratulated him on becoming 'the resident dirty old man' instead. It's a mixed bag thus far. One list said you've 'gone from funny pervert to middle aged man', which suggests you're boring; the other praises your 'pervy edge'. Well done on that.

Harvey Yevrah, who I previously compared him too, recently said that Fox has the highest quality post ratio of us all. He is probably the fourth best poster these days, behind Floyd, motivated GS, and that lad who always wins the cup, so there may be something in that. He's still wasting his time in the NHS, mind.

LeedsRevolution - Not the wank he used to be, which is something.

Lewis - Five time! Five time! Five time! Five time! Five time!

Lofty - You know, to say it's often said I read the board better than most, I had never given much thought to what GS said about him actually being a big soft twat. I think he might have got that bang on. Aww. Mate. I'm not even going to call him a disgrace, or question where that UKIP MELTDOWN from the other day emerged from, lest it upset him even more, so we'll just focus on the positives...

Luke Emia - That hip business was a bit distressing. But like I said at the time, would he rather have Crohn's disease? Anyway, I think Luke deserves credit for being one of the more level-headed Liverpool fans around. Their might be something in the idea of proximity to Liverpool itself being an important factor in that, since niko and GS have water between them and the city, where as Joh_Narne claims to be from near it, and Smiffy plays up his Liverpool connections. Taz is the outlier, but we can explain him away by saying Muslims just buy into fanaticism generally.

m1j1browning - Why hasn't he changed his name to 'Browning' yet? If he did that people would recognise him more, rather than assuming it's just some spambot who hates rasslin'. There is no excuse not to go through with it.

Magic Johnson - It's nice to have him back.

Mahow - I called him 'shite' in the previous list. Whilst still true, I feel I ought to be more constructive this time round, so here is a list of suggestions:

1. Stop saying 'My word'.
2. Stop moaning about things that are your fault.
3. Support England in international football, you piece of shit.

And so on. On top of those, try talking less about food. Webly has got that covered, and he doesn't have the general nonce vibe that you seem to have acquired (It's a touchy-feely post-MELTDOWN thing), so I would be more likely to trust his cooking.

manc sean - He can't be that much busier than he was.

MartinSAFC - He's a decent poster, Martin, but there is something about his infrequent activity that leaves his posting style in 2008. It's all italicised names and earnestness.

Max Power - Maybe he is 'Lauren'?

Mellin - He was a quality poster, but now he barely posts. It's worth having him pop in once a week, mind, because it acts as a lingering threat to keep Zimidy in line.

mert - I don't really understand Mert, even though I seem to be his only fan. He is right to say that people just write him off as a twat as a matter of course, which obviously results from growing up here (I think he would tell you himself he was quite dependent on the place during a crucial period in his life) and filling the board with seventeen year old grief; but at the same time, I don't know why he tries too hard. I said in the previous list that he clearly isn't stupid, yet he appears a bit desperate to prove how intelligent he is. If he just calmed down and took a slightly more reasonable approach to debating liberal filth, then people would find it harder to ignore his points. I tend to agree with a fair bit of what he says, but he puts it across like a press release.

There is also the whole sociopath thing (I think he has most people figured out, even if putting it down to them being sex-starved might not be accurate), but then Taz is as bad in his pretend way.

mf_phonics - He does seem to spaz from mood to mood, but it's still good having him here. He ought to have a posh boy contest with Floyd and Demerit. It would be up to the judges whether his oversized headphones and probably suspect hygiene are advantages or disadvantages. You're not a left winger, mate. It doesn't matter how many black people you've met.

Mike - He's alright, Mike. I don't think it would be too devastating if we lost him, but he's a happy chappy.

Minister De la Funk - Posts about once a month.

Multi - Multeh, my man. He's the second best foreigner these days behind Pepe, which actually isn't that much of an achievement, but he should still be proud of himself because he posts solidly over a number of subjects and just seems to be a bit of a geezer.

Nick - I repped him the other day, so there you go. Decent man (And he is a man, because he's about thirty-six).

nickfootie5 - Yeah, I said before that he was better than Benny at putting Tobias' Head on things. He just doesn't do it as much. Quality over quantity (Ironic that Benny should breach that rule with pictures of Lofty, whose life proves it). Again, solid poster, and could potentially join phonics in the posh off if he revealed more about his life.

niko_cee - Bit of a geezer, niko, for an international man of mystery. Not only because he stops me talking to myself about rugby on Friday mornings (Although my 'Tooves' question has gone unanswered, wanker), but because he covers all bases with sustained quality. Not unlike a rich man's elth, as some people have suggested.

Offshore Toon - Me and thee could be big mates IRL. Well, if we didn't piss each other off. Whatever, he is a quality poster when he is around and bothering.

Okay_Amigo - Mate.

P_3 - Not bad, P_3. He gets drowned out in the Liverpool, erm... I can't say crowd... Even 'white noise' might breach their equality guidelines.

Palmer - Alright(!).

Panda Bear - Get this: He should post more. Yes. Really.

Pen - I did the voice gag last time, so I'll just leave you all with the image of him shuffling around Finland teary-eyed looking for opportunities to describe something as 'bob on', and demanding to know 'Who is and who isn't?

Pepe - The lists we've seen thus far really aren't doing Pepe justice. Draper said he is 'pretty funny', having only just realised; GS called him a 'mascot' without purpose; Chrissy (What the fuck was that list about?) called him 'good'; and Randy called him 'background noise'. Townsend called him a 'top lad', to be fair to him, but he's off his head.

You all need to realise that he is absolute class. That's not even tokenism. I'm not seeking desperately to present him as an example of a foreigner who isn't crap. He is a top, top poster. He brings the lols, he makes good points beneath the supposed negativity everybody has mentioned (He is seriously clever, after all), and he gets the tone bang on. I don't make a habit of championing foreign idiots, so I'm dead right here.

Pleb - He's alright, but how did he stay on the reduced list when Pards - fucking Pards - got thrown out? A WDYTOE without him is just nothing.

Randomlegend - Yeah, I think we should get 'Randy' off the ground now. 'Randrew' is a bit of an effort.

I don't know what to say, really. I see him most weeks to gossip about Bryon and that, so it's obvious that I like the hollowed out shell of a boy. His worth goes up and down, depending on how often he is posting and whether he is crying about things, but he values the community.

Raoul Duke - I think he is better now he doesn't have to live up to being underrated. So cheers, 'cord', you dog-booting twonk, you've liberated him and given him a new impetus.

Regista - Now that he appears to have fixture list threads locked down, he ought to work on really making them his own. Maybe insert some clever jokes? What about changing the team names like Floyd tried to do? He tends to make a few wacky points on football more generally, so he could be a wrong'un. I also suspect him of being foreign, or at least a homosexual.

Apart from that, he's pretty decent.

Reiver - Pinochet has taken his job.

Rocchi - He doesn't seem to like me. I don't know why.

ScousePig - I don't want to just say 'See: Webly', but I'm getting seriously bored of this now. In the previous list I suggested that he start a feud with him, so maybe look into that.

sergeantdisco - I like to think of 'disco as Shindig after ten years' worth of better decisions. He has a similar sense of humour and approach to lol-making, which, combined with his rugby interests, make him a good poster.

Serpent Gazeux - Top, top bloke, GS. It's good that he BOTTLED leaving, and has subsequently embraced his role as the go-to-bloke in the organisation, because being a bloke moping around with the rest of the blokes looking for jobs would probably have been the end of him as a bloke. It's also good that he met a few of the blokes off the forum, who could confirm he is a real bloke, and I don't even know where I'm going with this other than trying to keep saying bloke. It's a bit of a bloken record, I imagine.

Mega poster.

Shindig - Legend.

Simon. - Is he that Dion Dublin guy, or was that SD?

SincereTheRebel - He isn't terrible anymore, but he isn't any good either. He should also go back to Haiti, which he told me he was doing a couple of years ago.

Smiff - I feel that I should say I take no pleasure in calling him a twat, lest anybody think I actively dislike him. I do so in football discussions because, regardless of everything else, he talks absolute shit. It's a messageboard and he can't do anything to me. Therefore, it would be great for him if he could sort his life out.

I just happen to believe that his 'problems' are all his own fault, because - and this could be for various reasons - he is a weak individual who can't function under any burden of responsibility. As I say, I don't know why that is. It could be anything. But doing something, fucking it up, crying to TTH, and then doing it again isn't going to sort it out. Nor is everybody wiping his arse for him when he does so. Being the only person willing to [openly] suggest this doesn't make me a wannabe murderer or an exceptional shithouse.

And for the record, I would batter him.

Snapman - I find it all slightly contrived, even if it does raise a smirk now and again.

Snazz - If it is Baz, why can't he just use his own account? He's good with the new one.

SpokesmaN - Waffelz seems to have taken over the bitter Rangers obsession, so sorry mate.

Spoonsky - Like I said last time, I don't see how he is any more transparent in his attempts to fit in than anybody else. It's just that he's American, and is therefore two steps behind in lols and point of reference.

Whether you agree with that or not, it would be hard to deny that he is a quality poster. And only thirteen as well. I would like to live near him, and then he could come over and watch old films whilst moaning about his family and shit mates. I could feed him chocolate as well, which he's probably not allowed at home. It would be like [i]Leon, except he probably wouldn't fancy me.

SvN - It's kind of annoying that I think SvN is so good and can't provide any reason why. Maybe he should post a picture of his bald head and tell us more about himself.

Taz - He ought to tone down the parody act, but I'll take him as he is if he isn't willing to. He did solid service to the pro-Moyes cause, we share a deep respect of Carlos Queiroz, and he does have a good way of mocking people.

The Merse - He's good, Merse. Still a bit gay, but I like reading his rugby posts and general autism spectrum take on things.

7om - The already quality, but still ever-improving, seven-oh-em is like a [much] younger Fox. The same sort of humour and tone, not yet as serious business because he hasn't had to confront the ageing process, a dirty sad act (Seriously, Google provides 'linkage', you dweeb), supports a crap Midlands football team, and works in a general health area. The only difference is that he works hard.

Toby - He was one of the top posters, but now he just dips in to somehow out-bore Sebo in the Jock thread (They're too reasonable). Chuck the beard, move back to somewhere with proper computers, and put GS back in his box. I was going to try and cram a reference to him into every entry, since he once said I talk about him too much, but it was too hard. #TeamTobias #Topbloke

Townsend - He was pretty good before, so I'm not sure what he's been doing. It's lol, yes, and I'll happily encourage it; but it's not all that sustainable.

Trancemeister - Wasn't there something about a gimp mask?

Vercetti - :cool:

Vim - Decent lad, Vim. It will be interesting to see what he does over the next few years (Not interesting as in of interest, but you know what I mean).

Waffelz - I like Wafflolz, but he needs to be less bandwagon-happy. Pick something and stick with it. You can't help lead Team Cristiano and then throw your weight behind 'Atleti'. Similarly, you can't fight for the Cenation and then start fudding yourself over that tramp he's going to annihilate tomorrow.

Weaver - The Weaver contributes these days, which is something.

Wullie - He's basically in semi-retirement these days, but hopefully he posts a bit more during the World Cup.

Yevrah - Now that he's settled down and accepted the Lew World Order (I much prefer that), things are better between us. And so they should be, because there is nothing to be gained from such tension. I should be able to question his going BALLS DEEP in something without it looking suspect, just as I should be able to appreciate him as the fifth best poster.

Zimidy - He's a bit useless when it comes to [The] Villa, but I appreciate his lolling and attitude. His joke about Belgian footballers was amazing, and I nicked it for 'IRL' use.

P.S. You're a beast, Lofty.



Regista -


I hope at least two people read this because it takes fucking ages doesn't it?


adamski — Haven't seen enough of him in TTH, but when I read the other other half, he's one of the better posters.
Alex — I like Alex in the hip-hop thread, I don't see him post elsewhere. He has a great taste in music, seems a knowledgeable chap and is into John Frusciante so that's automatically a 7/10 at least.
Benny — One of the funniest, and a nice antidote to the SERIOUS nature of the board. We must have the most serious atmosphere going on a Football Manager forum, and Benny makes you laugh and often trumps every other post in a thread with a brilliant gif.
Byron — I enjoy his FM updates, but other than that I've mainly noticed him disagreeing with everything Yevrah says, and occasionally sharing some opinions on Allardyce. Would like to see him post more on football because I think he could be one of the more interesting posters.
chaodck — Must be the nicest guy on the board. He is so incredibly friendly that if he was anymore friendly and happy you'd have to think he had unlocked the secret to the universe and married Kelly Brooke. I hope he realises his dream of being a chef, and if he ever gets on UK tele I'll be tuning in.
Charlie — Maybe my favourite thread-starter on the board. Hearing about his Taiwan adventures is aways amusing and a change from the general football and boring life here in England topics. I can never tell if he actually likes Taiwan. He has shared some intriguing views on the idea on people loving holidays being kind of dim, one of those times came in his watch thread which turned into an online philosophy class with Charlie as some sort of disgruntled university teacher. One of the guys I wish would post more, but I think he's lost all interest in football really.
Chinny Hill — A bit like a blister on your foot, most of the time he went bother you because you're thinking of other things, but once in a while makes you want rats to chew on your face because it'll seem pleasant in comparison.
CJ — I like CJ, he's a measured and sensible poster on football, who's capable of making you think "huh, hadn't thought of that before". I can't recall seeing him post much on non-football topics but seems an all-round solid guy.
Corduroy — Mainly before my time, I think, but has made me chuckle a couple of times.
Danny — Decent, but doesn't seem to post much. I think he played football at a good levell, so hearing his thoughts on players more often could be good.
Dark Soldier — Seems a good guy, and gave make me chuckle, but I think his posting days are mainly behind him so I can't comment much.
Davgooner — I used to think he hated everyone, but has since made me smirk a few times with his now-more-friendly putdowns. I've seen a few posts of his in the politics thread and he seems a sensible chap.
eltharion_doa — One of the best posters on football - quite insightful on Man Utd and observant of the game. Someone I'll always enjoying reading in the weekend threads. Does he post in non-football threads?
Fry Crayola — One of the most interesting posters and seems to disagree with almost everyone on almost everything which makes good reading. Seems smart and knowledgable on lots of subjects. I should probably check out the game he made. Have seen about two posts on football but seem to recall he's a fan of someone in Ireland or a non-league team.
Hammerstein — Good poster who I agree/disagree with about half each, interesting thoughts on quite a lot of social issues. Last year he started great threads but maybe he's been put off by the lack of appetite from some people on the subjects he likes.
Harold Bishop — Racist, mind-numbingly repetitive bore. A bit more likeable than Chinny but that isn't a ringing endorsement.
Henry — He has interesting views but maybe he's too tired of the forum after so many years. He seems like quite a nice guy, but at the same time comes across as thinking he's smarter than everyone else. Perhaps he is. I'll keep my eyes open for more posts.
Ian — Has a likeable carefree nature it seems, and has recently made me laugh a good few times on football matters, partly because I'm one of the posters who takes the football threads a bit too seriously.
ItalAussie — A good poster in non-football threads, and I think I'm missing a lot from not reading the history thread, I think he's one of the regulars in there but I could be completely wrong.
Jimmy Floyd — One of the members I enjoy reading the most. Jimmy is such a fixture of the place that he contributes to the atmosphere probably more than anyone. I think he makes it less serious, which is seemingly the opposite of how others feel about him. I disagree with everything he thinks about life, but I think perhaps his fear of foreigners and opinions on them based on what they've done centuries ago are partly in jest. Has some odd views on football as has been said by others, but then sometimes comes up with some great thoughts, on referees for example.
John — A bit like Henry (see above). He has a fantastic member title and anybody who likes Peter Capaldi is probably a good person.
Kikó — I'm not sure about his ITK status, because I've never heard whether he gets his information from a bloke in the pub, Twitter, or whether he's actually in the know. Other than that, a good poster who's likeable for his "it's just football" nature and wittiness.
kizmarlo — I like kiz, he puts effort into posting and it shows, and he's a cracking FM tactician. He used to be in the army as far as I know and seems to have a bit of bullishness about him. I think that gets misinterpreted as crankiness, and the 'seething' replies he gets are tiresome.
Laurent Robert — I don't know much about him other than he watches, or used to watch, "Rest of the World" football. Hopefully he can fill us in on Nigeria, Honduras and co in the World Cup forum.
LeeCovFox — Good football chap. It's a pity for people like us that TTH only really cares about the Premier League, but hopefully we'll see him post more in the football threads now his team have been promoted. Seems to be typically English in his cynicism which I can't quite work out if I like or not.
Lewis — Lewis is a difficult person to form an opinion on. I interpret about a fifth of his insults as needless and over the top, which he knows, but the rest of the time he's maybe the funniest on the board. Like Lee, he's typically English, but Lewis takes takes the cynicism further into a realm of joy from hating things.
MartinSAFC — A great poster on football and genuinely interesting. He should probably write a blog if he doesn't. Other than football, I don't know much about him but seems an intelligent chap who I'd welcome seeing in more threads.
mert — I think mert might be entirely different in real life, and he's admitted in the past that he's played devil's advocate. Despite that, he's a massive dick.
mf_phonics — Mainly notice his posts on Arsenal, which are decent, and I think he lives in some beautiful place but other than that I can't say I have much of an opinion.
Multi — Would like to see him become one of the ultra-TTH'ers like Jimmy but that commitment is probably incompatible with him being a doctor and all. Loves hip-hop and shares some good stuff, but I enjoy him elsewhere more - he clearly knows his stuff about exercise and health (he should really).
Nick — Nick's great, he's just a likeable person with no offensive qualities and his updates in the FM forum are excellent. He's a Bishops's Stortford fan so probably deserves praise for watching terrible football, contributing to the community and that.
niko_cee — As I said recently, he seems a bit up himself. He'd be good if he toned that down and just shared his views on footy. Who knows, maybe I'm imagining it.
Offshore Toon — I like Offy, and his music taste is solid.
Pepe — Some people seem to take offence to him which is odd, Pepe to me is one of those people you can't dislike. I'd like to hear about what life in Mexico was like, maybe he's gone over that a thousand times before I got here.
ScousePig — Good lad. I think exactly the same about Scouse as I do Martin, and it's not just because they're Sunderland fans.
Serpent Gazeux — Almost like Jimmy in his impact on the board. I enjoy his posts in general but I have to admit I've skipped a few essays on Liverpool. I can't tell if he has a high opinion of himself or he just doesn't give a fuck. He puts people down a bit too often (see this thread). Likeable guy anyway.
Simon. — I like Simon, he's up there with the best football posters, and would be even better if he wasn't tired of arguing what he believes in. I think I must have missed some gruelling years of him fighting his corner. Seems an all round interesting guy, I hope he makes it in poker. Good hip-hop head.
SincereTheRebel — Sincere is great, his enthusiasm for everything is infectious and although he doesn't know an awful lot about some things, he's always eager to ask people what goes on. Another hip-hop head (I don't actually post in there much but it's one I read often).
Smiff — Gets so much stick it's unreal. It's a cruel place, TTH. Seems a good guy, only bad quality is his hunger to see teams other than Liverpool fall to bits.
Snazz — What I've seen has been good, and he deserves credit for putting so much effort in the Excel projects, and that one-man-team competition in the FM section was quality.
Spoonsky — This place seems to mean a lot to Spoon and I reckon he gets a lot of good out of it. I sort of grew up on forums as well (I did go out as well), so I can identify with him. Hope he makes it as a writer or whatever he wants from life.
SvN — Sensible football poster who seems to be happy not putting that much time into the forum, which is fair enough obviously.
Taz — Taz is brilliant, maybe the most entertaining member. I'm sure the people who have said he's consciously a parody of himself are right. He must be, partly at least. Either way he'd be a good one to meet in real life for his sheer personality. I'd like him to let us know about the stats he constantly refers to. Don't show the people at work and it'll all be dandy.
The Merse — Another very good footy poster, I enjoy his longer posts and one I'd definitely like to read more.
Toby — Bit like Henry and Ian (to me).
Townsend — When he's not raging he's a good poster. Reading his posts in the FM tactics forum is like reading another member's. Maybe he reserves TTH for letting all the anger from his week out, like an internet punching bag.
Vim — Likeable chap and Serie A informer. Seems to know his football properly, and forms opinions on having watched players and teams closely. Other than footy I don't know a lot about him.
Waffelz — I like Waffelz, and I look out for his bets. I don't think TTH give a shit generally about the SPL but I'd be one who would like to hear more. Although he should probably stop rating Dundee players as Ronaldinho reincarnations. I think Waff cares about the forum less than people think he does, he's always seemed pretty chilled to me.
Weaver — Newcastle poster mainly I think. I've seen him post some interesting stuff, but haven't formed much of an opinion.
Yevrah — I like Yevrah, and he puts in a hell of a lot of effort to the forum, I've actually wondered if this is somehow his secret job. Is he one of those annoying companies that advertise at the top of the page? Anyway I reckon he'd be a good lad in real life. Bit serious about the footy stuff, but like I've said I'm the same really. It'd be interesting if Yev picked his favourite team, or one that he didn't feel complete contempt for perhaps more likely, and tried following them for a season. I reckon it could open up a whole new world.
Zimidy — I've mainly noticed him for posting supposed England teams filled with Villa players. Maybe they should get more of a chance but they shouldn't fill half the team. Other than that, can't say much. Don't see him posting much?

[Samadini]

corduroy -


If you've been sitting around thinking, 'I really want to read a large block of text in which a very unintuitive, possibly slightly autismo and massively uncommitted poster uses the same four descriptions for everyone on the list', well then you are in luck, my friend.

Benny — Become one of my favourites, probably because I read this place mostly during the day at work where it’s pretty much him playing the Sandra Bullock role in Gravity, sending out hopeful messages into the dark recesses of the empty void of TTH. Funny, doesn’t take the place too seriously, and not an arsehole, which sums up the people I like on here.
Boydy — Was very good, and then went away. Comes back occasionally, still fairly decent but a little bitter and twisted. I can’t get on board with the London hating either, so I hope he finds some pastoral nirvana somewhere, cheers up a bit (though not enough to be actually cheery).
Byron — Decent poster. One of those people that keeps the place ticking over.
Charlie — One of those I’m not so keen on. Gives off a slight sense of being a bit of a prick and I generally like posters who are a ‘nicer’, but there’s a couple of people on this list that I get that vibe off, and they all pretty much dislike me and whatever crappy vibe I give off, so I doubt he’ll be upset that I’m not a fan.
Chinny Hill — Still convinced he’s not actually a real person.
Dark Soldier — Was good. Largely gone.
Davgooner — Has a very high post to laugh ratio from me. Has his head screwed on to a much higher degree than most, and takes the place about as seriously as it needs to be (ie, not very).
Dj_Luca — I notice people talking about him, but never him actually posting.
eltharion_doa — Was good. Mostly gone. I do enjoy his strident lecturing when he does pop back though.
Foe — Like him. Fills a niche (men’s bums lol) that no-one else here does, which is always welcome when 90% of the place is the same jaded sarcastic wanker.
FrancisWalsh — Used to get on my tits a bit (think he was a little moany), but now he’s generally one of the decent contributors.
Fry Crayola — Again fills a necessary niche, and a nice bloke with a brain. Should actually get round to buying his game, I suppose.
Hammerstein — Slight bit of a cloud cuckoolander, which is good for a forum.
Harold Bishop — Pointless really, isn’t it. He doesn’t seem to be enjoying it, no-one else is, so yeah.
Henry — Don’t notice him much anymore. Is he another old timer slowly drifting away?
hydrocephalus — Another of the decent posters who keep the place ticking over when they turn up. The sort that would improve the place a lot if they were the ones posting regularly.
Ian — I don’t actually want him to know it, but the person I like most on the board, which of course means he’s posting a lot less these days. Good contributions when he does muster the time/energy, and the revival of haxball will hopefully set free the dark lunatic lurking behind the nicey niceness. I reckon evil Ian would be great craic.
ItalAussie — Was good. Still here, now largely seems quite angry and not really enjoying the place, which I can sympathise with a bit. I can sort of see why the newer people don’t necessarily appreciate him, but I can remember the days when he was liked across the board and so still hold a fondness for him.
Jimmy Floyd — Actually the best poster here, by a distance. Can do the whole shebang of necessary posts, i.e. serious, funny, sport. Stands astride the cricket thread (i.e the best thread) like a colossus, and makes me feel terribly inferior with the breadth of his knowledge.
John — Was good. Largely gone, it seems.
Kikó — Has always been one of the better ones, even if he was quiet for a long time. Now posting a lot more regularly it seem, so it’s more obvious.
Laurent Robert — I like LR. He does stuff, which is more than a lot of us manage, and is good about posting about that stuff. Which is more than a lot of us manage. Another one who would improve the place immensely by posting more.
LeeCovFox — Really good, in the same sort of way as Jimmy.
Lewis — Never been much of a fan of a fair whack of his posts. Gives off the arsehole vibe, like Charlie. His rise to the top has also coincided with the decline of the board, so I'm going to use completely sound logic and say it's all his fault, and hope Yevrah or someone takes up the argument when I inevitably get called out on it.
Lofty — Another of those I’ve always liked. Does entertaining things that lead to entertaining posts, and always seems like a good sort.
Mahow — I like ‘how and I’m glad he’s got his life sorted out seemingly. Another of those characters who fills a largely uncovered niche on the board, but these days is better ‘bants’ in haxball than someone I notice much on the board.
Mellin — Was very good. Largely gone.
mert — Tedious. Not sure why anyone takes the bait though.
mf_phonics — Generally good to have around, if liable to be somewhat pretentious and aloof.
nickfootie5 — Photoshop threads are always one of the best things here on the rare occasion they break out, and he’s up there with the best at them. Good contributor to the photography thread and football things and stuff.
niko_cee — Goes in the category of being one of the really good old timers who would immensely benefit the place by posting more, but presumably has something better to do.
Offshore Toon — Another who doesn’t seem to be around much anymore, or am I just not looking in the right places?
Okay_Amigo — Was good, largely gone.
Panda Bear — Was good, largely gone. Nice chap.
Pen — Was good, largely gone.
Pepe — Was g..oh hang on. One of the better posters. Does seem as if he doesn’t get the recognition he deserves, but he always seems to be the voice of reason when he posts seriously, and is good for a laugh. Rubbish Left 4 Dead teammate.
Randomlegend — Nice guy. One of those I’d put in the solid middle level of posters. I might not squee with excitement when I see a post by him, but I’m happy he’s there.
Raoul Duke — Clearly a top 10 poster. Again one of those who is funny, has a decently diverse range of things he can post about, and isn’t a giant pulsating arsehole. I’m sure he’s grateful I used the words giant pulsating arsehole in his write-up, despite it not having anything to do with him.
Regista — Seems a genuinely good addition, which is rare.
ScousePig — Another of my long term favourites. Another one who seems to have cut back on the posting.
sergeantdisco — Mostly notice him in Gamezine these days, which is the best part of TTH. Goes in the same category as Niko_Cee, Mellin and others as old timers who would greatly benefit the place if they were to fall on hard times and have to come back properly. Here’s hoping.
Serpent Gazeux — One of the best all rounders here, put in the same ‘vital to the board’ category as Jimmy and Lee. Always enjoyed his werewolf games, and he’s reliably good in the jobs thread..
Shindig — Part of the furniture, like a slightly tatty rocking chair by the fire. Place wouldn’t be the same without him, but I remember him being much funnier on a consistent basis back in the day.
Simon. — Don’t seem to notice him so much these days as I notice others taking the piss out of him. Would go in the decent poster category, even if I’m not much of a LAD, which seems to be what everyone thinks he is.
Snapman — I think we came through at roughly the same time and with roughly the same amount of hype, except I blew up and got very shit indeed, and he’s carried on being very funny whenever he bothers to vote. I concede victory to you, sir.
Spoonsky — Will obviously be a very good poster once he loses the occasionally occurring teenager-yness. Though he might just find himself with better things to do, being intelligent and seemingly a bit of a do-er. Good on him.
Taz — Always enjoy his wry take when people are getting rather too serious about the place. Ocassionally gets a little too over the top with the whole character, but another I’d have in a TTH top 10.
Toby — Was really good, you lot got all arsey at him for no particular reason and now he’s mostly gone. His thread starting ability is sorely missed. P.S you are a twat, Toby.
Waffelz — I like Waff quite a lit via exposure through haxball and other off board activity, but I’m not sure he quite reaches his potential on the board itself. Might be being a twat here, but I suspect he might have a few confidence issues ,or whatever, that hold him back a bit.
Wullie — Still here, still one of the top posters. Might have slowed down a bit, but if I can be arrogant enough to even vaguely compare the two of us, he might be finding it as hard as I am to find the opportunities for the odd little jokey posts that there was here a couple of years ago. Maybe it was the peak of more threads thing. I imagine he will be one of the best contributors over the world cup. Which is nice.
Yevrah — I can both see his enormous worth to the board and get wound up by his ability to go completely balls to the wall in mental support of the first opinion to appear in his head in equal measure.



Eazy-Duz-It -


This might be the worst list ever.

adamski — I don't know much about him, other than that he put in a relatively decent showing in that clusterfuck that was the most recent Werewolf game.
Adramelch — I think he's doing a PhD or some such at Barcelona. He's Greek and brilliant at werewolf. Other than that...
AE — Shame things didn't work out for you with Colorado. Do you still aim to enter professional football? Best of luck.
Alan Shearer The 2nd — I know absolutely nothing about him.
Alex — Who?
Andy — Always worth a read for his Southampton related posts.
Apples — :cool:. Great contributor in the cricket thread and a very nice guy to boot. Have you gotten married yet?
Bamster — I never got the PM Bamster stuff, but thankfully, unlike Hammerstein, I didn't actually PM him.
Benny — Benny is top class. Very active in the mornings, which is good, because that's usually when I'm on TTH.
Boydy — Don't know much about him, except he seems to wear a reputation for being TTH's most leftist member. Isn't he doing postgrad stuff in history at the moment? I'd like to see Boydy post more about that, as I'm considering entering postgrad study myself in history.
Byron — I went to the effort of looking up your last 200 posts because I felt you're one of those posters that are prominent enough that I should have an opinion of him. Didn't really glean much, except he seems to be a solid contributor to the UK Politics thread.
Captain Trips — I don't know what to make of Trips. Sometimes his posts make good points, but his persona can be pretty annoying at times. Sort it out and you'll improve significantly.
cearles —
chaodck — I haven't seen him do anything outside of werewolf in TTH, where he's pretty good. He is/was a very good contributor to the FM sections though, loved his kits thread. Seems an interesting guy with his political involvement.
Charlie — Lives in Taiwan. Starts a lot of threads with massive OP's. Tl;dr.
Chinny Hill — I find it utterly impossible to believe that Chinny is running for some office (I don't know which, exactly) as UKIP's candidate. His posting here largely indicates that his party would do better with somebody else.
Chrissy — Took some courage to post about that incident. If it had happened to me, I certainly would have been too embarrassed to tell anybody about it.
CJ — Can't say I've noticed him around much outside of werewolf. I owe you eternal thanks for the Double Pivot tactic you developed for FM 11.
Corduroy — Good in the cricket thread.
Danny — As above.
Dark Soldier — Excellent writer.
Davgooner — Doesn't seem to be around much these days, always worth a read when he posts, though.
Demerit —
diljeet — 'jeet comes in for a lot of stick, much of it deserved, but he's quite harmless.
Dj_Luca — Luca seems to carry around a massive reputation, which I can only assume is a result of what he does 'IRL' as I haven't really seen all that much from him on the board. I did enjoy that video immensely, though.
eltharion_doa — Much like Dav, isn't much more than a part timer but still quality when he bothers.
Fandan —
Five Time —
Foe —
FrancisWalsh — Buttmunch.
Fry Crayola — Didn't he release a game? I should probably get it.
Hammerstein — What did he do for five years? He joined in 2007 but I don't think he was around until about 2 years ago. Seems pretty decent.
Harold Bishop — Harold can be a tiresome old bore at times, but I quite like his football related posting.
Henry — The debates between Henry and Harold have thankfully ceased in recent times. I was surprised at how restrained he was when Thatcher died.
hydrocephalus — I never really knew him as James, and in his new avatar he isn't really active enough for me to judge him.
Ian — Solid across the board, one of the most important posters around.
ItalAussie — Some have accused Ital of condescension but I can't say I've noticed that in him before - the most recent occasion where his obviously superior intellect was displayed was in that global warming thread where he answered all questions put to him in a fair manner.
Jimmy Floyd — Jimmy is one of the best posters around. He has a knack for making posts that are both amusing as well as insightful. I feel he may have prevented Lewis from winning five best poster awards in a row if more posters read the cricket thread, where he is consistently outstanding and where much of his best material can be found.
John — He doesn't let himself get wound up anymore, which is a definite improvement, even though some found amusement in his earlier persona.
John_Arne —
Kikó — How did this ITKiko business start? He's a good poster.
kizmarlo —
Laurent Robert — As with Byron, he's one of those I feel I should know well enough to have an opinion, but I'm already wasting time I should be spending doing my uni work, so I'm not bothered searching through his posts.
LeeCovFox — Good contributor across a variety of topics.
LeedsRevolution —
Lewis — Lewis, like Jimmy, has a knack of being extremely entertaining whilst still being very insightful with his posting. I don't know how he wound up with two shits, but he certainly deserves the title of being TTH's best poster.
Lofty — Well, he's a bit filthy.
Luke Emia — Solid addition to the cricket thread, and was one of the more reasonable Liverpool fans back when Smiffy and friends were giving it large. Sorry to hear about the hip, hope things are getting better now.
m1j1browning — Another person on this list that I don't really notice outside the niches that are werewolf games and the cricket thread, and he's pretty good in both.
Magic Johnson — How long was he away for? I can recall absolutely nothing about him, other than that he seems to hate every football club that isn't Leeds with equal passion.
Mahow — The 'How needs to step up his posting game once again, he's been very quite for the past 12 months or so. Mahow being the board's top poster just seemed kinda right, it'll be weird when Jimmy overtakes him. Do we rename it to The Jimmy Half as we once did for Mahow? He's obligated to retain the lead for that.
manc sean — Mental.
MartinSAFC — The italicising of usernames irritates me, for some reason. Pretty good other than that, though.
Max Power — One of the doyens of the cricket thread.
Mellin — Villa fan. Was in prison. I know no more.
mert — Mert can be horrible if you get him on his favourite topics - politics, guns, women/relationships, fraternities/Duke - but when he does venture outside his comfort zone, he's not as bad as some make out.
mf_phonics — I don't know what he did to earn the 'Moronics' moniker, but it's one of the better nicknames TTH has come up with.
Mike —
Minister De la Funk —
Multi —
Nick —
nickfootie5 —
niko_cee — I feel niko is a little underrated. He's an excellent contributor to the forum and would be missed if he were to leave.
Offshore Toon — Offy is pretty good.
Okay_Amigo —
P_3 —
Palmer —
Panda Bear — I appreciated the help he gave me and gives to others in the uni thread. Top lad.
Pen — Did really well as a wolf in the most recent game. He's one of those posters, who, for me, are important background figures
Pepe — Consistently amuses. Pepe is brilliant.
Pleb —
Randomlegend — Why does 'Randrew' irk you so much?
Raoul Duke —
Regista — The guy who always creates football threads.
Reiver —
Rocchi —
ScousePig —
sergeantdisco — Doesn't seem very active but I always like reading his stuff when he does post.
Serpent Gazeux — GS really is fantastic.
Shindig — He could dine out forever on that Stewart Lee quote.
Simon. — LAD.
SincereTheRebel — The very definition of an ebony don. Sincere is brilliant.
Smiff — Took Liverpool's meltdown with surprising composure. Fair play for that. Utterly unbearable for a while, though.
Snapman —
Snazz —
SpokesmaN —
Spoonsky — Spoon is pretty good, but I can't ever see him living up to the HYPE.
SvN — The stuff with Ant was ugly, but entertaining, as well.
Taz — Taz is the most entertaining poster on the forum. I go out of my way to read his posts on topics I have absolutely no interest in, and he never fails to deliver. The grand alliance between himself and Smiffy was a little hard to stomach.
The Merse — Those long rambling posts can be a bit irritating.
7om — Solid contributor.
Toby — I don't know how 'real' the post-Toby Two Shits meltdown was, but it was brilliant nevertheless. :D
Townsend — Seems to want to be the new JonWo.
Trancemeister —
Vim — I hope he's given up on those Juve conspiracy theories.
Waffelz — Waff is a likable poster.
Weaver —
Wullie — Somebody should start another Paint thread.
Yevrah — That persona he adopted around the new year was fucking hilarious :D. I'm really enjoying Yev's stuff in the FM thread.
Zimidy — Zim should play werewolf more often.



Vim -


adamski — Fairly new poster on TTH but he seems to be settling in nicely. Not much to say about him yet, which can only be a good thing.

AE — Subject of the Thread of the Year™, it's a shame he wasn't picked up by the Rapids in the end but I hope he'll continue doing well in his career at Hammerheads.

Benny — One of the best posters on the board, if you ask me. He seems to be always ready for a joke.

Byron — I like Byron, always nice to have him in the football threads, both for insight about West Ham and about football in general.

Captain Trips — I really can't decide what I think of Trips. He seems to go on good "runs" of good, insightful and generally not fucktard-ish posts only to then revert back to the shite he posted when he first joined. I think you could establish yourself as a good poster if you did only the first part.

chaodck — I like Chaodck, though he seems to have some mood swings sometimes, for lack of a better word. It's all good though, I don't think he's ever offended anyone ever.

Chrissy — You had another username before right? It escapes me. Either way he seems to be a very enthusiastic guy which is welcome.

Corduroy — King of self-depreciating humour on the board. He's a very nice guy from what I can tell, but I haven't seen him around lately at all. (Maybe we just frequent different threads) Hope he's doing well.

Dark Soldier — Not much to say about DS, except that he's a stand-up poster in my opinion.

Demerit — I liked Demerit at the beginning, but for some reason I find him somewhat annoying now. I can't even pinpoint exactly what it is that makes him annoying, I guess it's his general attitude that comes with his posts.

Dj_Luca — Hoping to see more of you during the World Cup; I need a fellow Italian (or variations thereof) to share the pain of watching Italy without Del Piero, the seethe when we 0-0 against Costa Rica and the joy when we beat the Germans again.

Hammerstein — See Demerit.

Harold Bishop — I've given up reading his "debates" lately because I just see no point in them. Not sure if he just really loves opposing people or he actually believes he makes great points all the time. Oh well.

Ian — It's probably been said before, but Ian is one of the best posters here. Whether it's football, haxball, werewolf or whatever he is always there with a good opinion.

ItalAussie - Another one whose posts I'm looking forward to during the World Cup.

Jimmy Floyd — I always enjoy reading his football posts; as much as he slightly tries to hide it, he is quite biased when it comes to Chelsea in general, but it's to be expected and it's not anything too big. Besides, him lolling at Barcelona when Chelsea won the CL was amazing. Looking forward to his contribution to World Cup football, especially the insight into Ghana.

Kikó — :)

kizmarlo — Take a chill pill Kiz. I knew him a bit in the FM sections and he seemed a decent guy but lately he hasn't exactly built the best reputation. I think though that he's not a twat so if he just lets this seething business behind, calm down and not think everything is a deliberate offense towards him, he could turn out not to be a moaning poo.

(Read the post about your health while writing the list, thanks for sharing and I hope the resting goes well.)

Lewis — Surely one of best posters on the board; not much else to say about him here.

Magic Johnson — We didn't exactly see eye to eye in the past, let's put it that way, but I think since he came back he's calmed down and become a good contributor to the board. Keep it up, I guess?

Mahow — Mahow is another good contributor who "keeps things ticking over" or whatever it is that people say when they've run out of adjectives and descriptions by this point in the list.

mert — Not sure why you even bother, mert. Every time I see you in the forum it's always accompanied by arguments with other posters. Whether or not you're trolling, I really don't see the point.

Panda Bear — He should come back and post more, I always found some of his posts quite funny.

Pen — Good contributor with a positive view on seemingly most things.

Pepe — Another one of those that always contributes well. He's a great guy and great poster.

Serpent Gazeux — One of the best posters on here.

Simon. — I like Simon, he seems to be a nice guy though honestly I don't see many of his posts. Not sure if he's posting less, I'm posting less or we just post in different places. It might just be a combination of all three. According to his list we share athletic woes and I hope we can both overcome them. :D

Spoonsky — One of the posters I interact with the most, he's a great guy; if he gets himself to Europe he could well become one of the very top posters, his potential might just go to waste in Murica. (hopefully not) Good luck with your IB as well lad.

Taz — Over the last year he's been one of my favourite posters, his enthusiasm and optimism is unrivalled. Unfortunately, Liverpool fucked him over by not winning the league, which means that his attitude is a bit mishit now, but I'm hoping Iran do relatively well in the World Cup which should see him shine again.

Waffelz — I think Waffelz is hit and miss (more hit than miss, mind you). He's a decent guy, sometimes I think his posts are a bit annoying, but generally he's a nice guy.

Zimidy — Tries to come across as a brilliant troll, which works sometimes but a lot of times it really doesn't and it's embarrassing. I don't mind him though.



Lofty -


I'm hungover and there's a notable decline in quality the further the list goes, so I'll apologise now:


adamski — not sure who you are , sorry!
Adramelch — thought he was Greek, but he might be German? Solid in football and FM matters.
AE — Alb is the chocolate to my vanilla, I have always rated him even when the rest of you fucks were slating him. That's why I'll be invited to the party on his super yacht full of bikini clad models and you won't.
Alan Shearer The 2nd — likes cars, and Newcastle.
Alex — Can't picture you, sorry.
Andy — Southampton loving Mr Fix It, top bloke who is brave enough to have me on Facebook
Apples — Australian Bigamist
Bamster — Old man with the keys to the secret forum, supports West Ham by investing heavily in pornography
Benny — Benny is the first person I interacted with outside the forums, our FIFA games on the 360 with headset bants. I vaguely remember beating you the first ever match, only for you to soundly destroy me every match since, almost a metaphor for the rollercoaster edits you now grace the board with. Never stop.
Boydy — Bearded angry Irish egghead
Byron — Likes West Ham but can't hold that against him, seems like a good bloke
Captain Trips — I like Trips, I feel that people who don't like Trips don't get him.
cearles — Should post more
chaodck — fairly new to TTH, seems nice
Charlie — Chaz is master of bad jumpers, a man who can teach English with his penis yet lock himself in his own home. What a man.
Chinny Hill — has Chinny posted recently? He's City's answer to Harold.
Chrissy — Seems like a good lad
CJ — post more
Corduroy — Haxball addict and 80's action film aficionado, I'd like to see a sitcom with him and Welby living together
Danny — Living the good life in the USA, should post more
Dark Soldier — DS stands astride the board like a grizzled silverback who remembers that we were all once nothing more than a twitch in his singular testicle
Davgooner — Is he called Dave or is he a gooner from Daventry? It doesn't matter because when he isn't coating off kids as the IT man at school he's riding round in the TTH van coating off Taz. A top, top poster.
Demerit — named after Watford's Jay Demerit who I always liked.
diljeet — gets a lot of shit, and sometimes his jokes are terrible, but is an integral part of the board and god loves a trier
Dj_Luca — Everyone wishes they were Luca, sometimes when I'm sat on an empty train to Morecambe at 5am I trawl his Facebook profile and question where my life went wrong
eltharion_doa — disappeared, came back, not sure if he's still posting right now but had a lot to offer
Fandan — solid poster, secret copper ;)
Foe — Foe tries to ditch the Scottish stereotype by sporting a six pack he whips out at all opportunities and takes lettuce to socially inappropriate places. We all love Foe
FrancisWalsh — lost a load of weight, stopped being an alcoholic, still supports Spurs. 2/3 ain't bad
Fry Crayola — wordy games master
Hammerstein — Named after an ABC Warrior which automatically endears him time, a solid addition to the board
Harold Bishop — Hazza and his e-victories, supports Arsenal which is good, also supports a neo-liberal Thatcherite state of oppression which isn't so good
Henry — I like Henners, is always good for a lengthy debate on the serious subjects
hydrocephalus — formerly James, needs to be more active
Ian — good poster, one of the top TTHers
ItalAussie — Genius
Jimmy Floyd — Capable of outstanding wit, I imagine him as a balding, cricketing policeman.
John — caustic responses, I like john's cutting responses even when they are directed at me
John_Arne — a Liverpool fan who doesn't live in Liverpool. Like most Liverpool fans :henn0rz:
Kikó — Keeks is a top shagger and good poster
kizmarlo — fairly new, likes a good seethe but I'm glad to have had some insight into his life in this thread. Hope your health improves
Laurent Robert — Samadini, how is Frank?
LeeCovFox — Lee is a good bloke, successful and loves Leicester and the NHS
LeedsRevolution — Seems alright, got bullied by the mods for a bit
Lewis — :D
Magic Johnson — Glad he's back
Mahow — Post booster extraordinaire
manc sean — needs to post more
MartinSAFC — Poker king
Max Power — The name I'd love to touch
Mellin — ex-con Villa fan, the yin to Zimidy's yang
mert — bellsniff
mf_phonics — Swiss Arsenal fan
Mike — the best human being on the board
Minister De la Funk — has he stopped posting?
Multi — a fellow Arsenal fan, seems like a good guy
Nick — FM supremo and United fan
nickfootie5 — Chelsea lover
niko_cee — Basketball lover
Offshore Toon — Jersey lover
Okay_Amigo — Iceland lover
P_3 — Russia lover
Palmer — Carlton lover
Panda Bear — hipster lover
Pen — Manchester lover
Pepe — bike lover
ScousePig — sorted his life out, glad for him
sergeantdisco — solid poster
Serpent Gazeux — GS is a stalwart of TTH, immense contributions. Fuck not wanking or drinking though
Shindig — Stewart Lee's favourite poster and dog abuser
Simon. — wants to be a football coach, loves Chelsea
SincereTheRebel — king of in intended comedy
Smiff — good guy, genuinely feared for his mental health after the Gerrard slip/Crystanbull
Snazz — Baz
Spoonsky — Funky Mormon child
SvN — Ant's nemesis
Taz — responsible for most of the scenes on the board and a vital part of it, high on the seethe-o-meter in here though
The Merse — Arsenal Fan from across the border
7om — Struck lucky in America
Toby — Never let his giant head get in the way of his life
Townsend — Towns is a top lad but there seems to be a lot of people griefing him since his return
Vim — chubby Italian adolescent
Waffelz — Posts continually about Scottish football when not even the other Scots care
Wullie — needs to do more paint, once Lewis' comedy rival but possibly over the hill now
Yevrah — I love Yev, his rants are always entertaining
Zimidy — may implode depending on what happens to Villa

[Samadini]

Dark Soldier -


I was struggling midway through, but here's the list. Apologies for not keeping up with what's going on with most of you and that:

Adramelch — I’ll read ya posts, man. I’ll stop and give them a scan. They don’t really stick, but you seem to be Greek and that, well, that’s something. You follow Spanish football, from what I remember, and like to moan. In fact, a scan of your recent posts makes it appear you talk almost exclusively about football. I dunno.

AE — Has gone from the laughing stock of the early days (mate) to pretty much donning each and every one of us. I watched the first half of one your games on Youtube, and at a point where you slid in and almost decimated an opponent, I cheered like a fucking mental. I don’t see you post much these days, or if you do, it’s in topics I don’t frequent, but mate, when you’re fucking living it up over here in a few years with a Rochdale or summat in League 1, I fully expect the staunch UKIP vote to get stronger as lil black nippers will be popping up quicker than cocks at a gloryhole. Fucking don.

Alan Shearer The 2nd — Been blundering his way for years. I mainly see him in the film thread, where he has some suspect taste but that’s by the by. Been around a while, has never really changed, but keep at it. Like some dirty fucking bassline flowing in the back, occasionally causing you to nod ya skull in compliance.

Andy — Passionate about the football, and kind of a Bam type in my eyes, just with an ability to convey his thoughts. I picture him as Rod from The Football Factory, spluttering along with life in patches of an alcohol haze, interspersed with work, women and the occasional nut on some unfortunate chap. A typical Englishman, all round. Stick his mug on the flag.

Bamster — Will always love the guy, even if his posts are now just sarcastic confusion. Has done exceptionally well in life for one born with the misfortune of looking like fucking Alvin. Punched above his weight (and height, it would appear) with his wife, and it wouldn’t surprise me if he’s got a brood of four brattish kids who take great pleasure in annoying the existence of everyone they cross paths with. The kind of kids you’d laugh at if they were punted into a wall. All in all, a solid guy.

Benny — We never used to get on. We still don’t really, but I feel I respect him a lot more and will take the time to read what he posts. The whole gif/photoshopping thing was lol as fuck at first, it now comes across as a bit try hard, despite still bringing a laugh here and there. Deserves ‘Legend’ status purely for the Sama/Taz/Luca thing. KUTGW.

Boydy — There was a time, long, long ago, when Boydy was just setting his stock on life. Discovering where he could plant his feet and develop from the then hollow shell of a man into something of substance. The man deserved such a chance, really, to spread forth his seed and oblique passion, to grip life by the arse and viciously fuck it into shape. However, his metamorphosis seems to have just gone wrong along the way, and he’s been churned out the other side as some kind of bitter, loathing husk of a specimen. Its just meat on a skeleton of hate, really. This is what happens when you take the light away from a particularly precious moth. Fucking smile, ya cunt.

Byron — I see his name now and again, there’s not much more I can say. I will/would read his stuff FM side, he seemed in tune.

Captain Trips — I don’t know, really. Fluctuates between periods of seeming happy with what he has, and who he is. Comes across very well then, a solid member of the board, but then he’ll descend into this blasé, don’t give a fuck cretin. It’s not impressive, really, telling us all that you don’t care for us, you haven’t formed an opinion, yadda yadda. I’m guessing it’s a Yank thing, fuck everything but your own, but it just strikes me as someone who’s conflicted somewhere, still striving for those care free days of his youth, where not giving a fuck equalled cool, whilst maturity is twatting him right in the face, over and over until he wakes up one morning to find lines on his brow, his bollocks are swinging by his knees, and that day mate, that’ll be the making of you.

chaodck — Just lovely. First noticed him in the FM sections, where he’d just amble on by with passion and a spark, and he’s transferred it here. Don’t turn, man, don’t get jaded. Stick with who you are. Ace.

Charlie — Fair fucking play. Headed abroad, doing his thing, and with that has come some of the better threads of the past year. Now adds heft to a lot his posts rather than the throwaway stuff he used to churn out, and despite the moaning and weirdness going on, I get a feeling he’s loving it over there, all told. It can’t be worse than Bolton, anyway. Will always have time for him.

Chinny Hill — We’ve had numerous run ins over the years, but I can’t help loving him. Should be the mascot we can roll out whenever anyone new pops in and tries to stamp their mark.

Chrissy — Tactical ace in the hole, FM side. Puts quite a bit of effort into mastering the match engine, and he can have all my kudos for that as it’s something I used to love doing in the earlier iterations. Also mate, follow that dream. I haven’t seen the video, or any of your comedy, but if that is what you’re really gunning for, fire all that fucking ammo and blow them away. Might help signing up to a dedicated comedy forum to help, too.

Corduroy — Has the kind of humour I adore, dry, sarcastic, on point. If you could scientifically fold his DNA into Wullies, then they’d rule the world. Not around much, which is a shame. Hope things are all set IRL and you’re content, man.

Davgooner — Never really changed throughout the years, and I thank the Lord each and every day for it. I was contemplating building a Dav shrine a whie back, built from discarded KFC boxes and a general sense of apathy. Short, succinct posts, straight to the point, fuck all that slack in between man. Just nails it.

diljeet — David Vetter.

Dj_Luca — Fair play for still conversing with the lesser classes that frequent this place. Those days of being a chubby cheeked, shock-haired young ‘un were delightful, and he just strode out as a man set to own the entire fucking globe. Don.

eltharion_doa — I don’t notice him anymore. We had a history with more peaks and troughs than a bestial pig farm, but his life, as far as I can tell, is on track, and good on you sir.

Five Time — Possibly the best username on here, along with Greg. Another I don’t notice much, sorry man.

Foe — Mate. Just mate. One of the few on here I’d happily go on the lash with. Built like a fucking tank, in touch with his feminine side (a tad too much at times), fucking making a go of his existence. Taken some shit through the years from myself and others, and always comes out the other side with a grin on his face. Hope you’ve finally got that twee, annoying type of lass you love.

FrancisWalsh — Nearly chucked you a PM in your heavy drinking days, before realising that due to your heritage, it’s a given. Seems to have properly got it back in check, and his posts sometimes show this new found love for life. Settling in nicely, despite those early, odd days. KUTGW.

Fry Crayola — A lot of respect for Fry. Having encountered him elsewhere a few times, its good to know that his style of posting isn’t really an act for here, it is just him. Fantastic guy to talk to, knows his shit when it comes to gaming, actually managed to build a playable, functioning, fun indie game (I need to finish it), and despite the critique of how he comes across some times, is a very intelligent bloke. Chuffed for you, man.

Hammerstein — Seems to get some haters/doubters on here, and I don’t know why. Yeah some of his posts/views are lol, and he has a worrying knack to get confused at the simplest things, but we’ve all gone through such a stage (even Lewis) and he creates interesting threads, gets involved, and has opened up on here a few times. Enjoyed reading his take on depression and the tips in how to counteract it a while back. Keep on trucking man.

Harold Bishop — Lol.

Henry — The guy I’ve clashed with the most (bar LDNT/Ventola/Grass Roots in the early days), but I feel we’ve settled into a content ignore each other kind of pact. I still disagree with most of what he posts, and don’t have much time for him, but he does his job here well and that’s all I can ask.

hydrocephalus — Loved the guy as James, was always a solid laugh. Don’t really pay much attention these days.

Ian — He’s entered the low orange phase, where he’s becoming fully accepted and with it comes a deserved ability to post nothing of substance without being called out on it. It’s a good place to be man, you’re now a solid chunk of the spine.

ItalAussie — Someone I’ll always read. No matter how precise and perfectly put together his posts appear to be, it’s good that someone has such passion and belief in what he says. Putting thought into shit you post is severely lacking by a lot of us, so huge kudos on that. Always good to chat with in the odd PM where his humour seems to flourish more, and does a lot for the site ‘behind the scenes’. Transgender, too.

Jimmy Floyd — By far the best poster the board has, and being ‘controversial’, I’d say he can easily stake a claim for being the best poster the board has ever had. Strides a like a behemoth in most threads he enters, and he’s now mastered that humour that would only pop through infrequently in the past. Upon rejoining, I never ‘got’ him at all. He came across as arrogant and a substantial bore, but mate you’ve smashed it. I’ll always hold an absolute hatred for your general outlook in life, and for where you were born, and probably for how you look too, but I’ve gotta give it to you. You’ve taken on Oimoi/DC/Elth/Pabs (yes, Pabs, who basically ran the board for a year or two) status. Numero fucking uno.

John — We don’t chat as much as we did, but to me he’s another legend of the board. Used to have fairly long PM chats, and we’d agree on most things across the board, but we both seem to have mellowed somewhat (I miss the folly of youth) and I see his name pop up less and less. Understandable, really.

John_Arne — Has been around for time, iirc, and I mainly see him in the football/film thread. I’ll always read what he’s put out there.

Kikó — Has always had this propensity to cycle between fucking awful nonsense and being a legend on the board. Things seem to be flowing his way at the moment, and he’s just smashing shit all over the shop. Another I got on great with back in the day, and still do, albeit infrequently. Surprised we’ve never gone for a drink, but being the way I was for a long, long while, it would’ve been a disaster.

kizmarlo — Yup, it’s kiz! Calm down and you’ll be sound.

Laurent Robert — Sama has been a shambles his entire life. Since I first spoke to him, its just radiated through. But he seems to embrace it, and you can’t knock him for it. If he’s happy being a somewhat handsome chap bungling his way through it all, then kudos. Post a bit more lad, I miss downy Frank.

LeeCovFox — Championed by many, but we really don’t cross paths. I’ve seen the odd post on football, where he seems sound, but that’s about the lot.

LeedsRevolution — Lol.

Lewis — Controversial figure. I frequent, and post on a number of forums (nah boast man, just how it is), and each one seems to have a poster or two like him. Clearly intelligent, and with an exceptionally sharp sense of humour, but seems to have this desire to lace nearly every post with a mixture of both, which at times is a very good thing, but more often than not it fucking grates. It loses all the impact. Have noticed more and more sly, cheap, pathetic digs cloaked by the ‘lol’, and he appears to have an actual nasty streak underneath it (feel free to refute it or summat, fuck knows). Seems a loner (I can’t knock it, I have a small circle of friends also), a trait which he’s happy to share with others on here. The board would lose a lot if he left, but just tone it down man. It was fucking hilarious 5/6 years back, but come on. Just post to the point now and again, and if you’re gonna make a dig, just drop it outright. If he wins best poster again (GS should walk it) then just kill the board. Still makes me laugh a lot more than many other posters.

Lofty — Seems to have taken hold of the perverted poster angle, which given my history is a delight. If I had the cash, I’d spend my nothing days riding up and down the country trying to spot him. Probably battling some severe internal torment, but as long as you live a life of debauchery, long may it continue.

Magic Johnson — Back, will be gone again.

Mahow — His life seems to be on the up, so well done man. Considering the amountof posts before this upswing, and the lack of content, getting the direction is amazing. Props for just going for it. I hope you make it.

MartinSAFC — Films and football. Good lad.

Mellin — Old school crew. Don’t speak to him much bar the odd jibe. Will always be a legend.

mert — I was going to approach this entry against the clear caricature he plays up to, but fuck it. Keep baiting, man. You do well.

mf_phonics — Music, game and film. Life’s essentials. Top man.

Mike — Seems like the most adjusted, normal specimen from the Baz/Mike/Reid group. I like the guy.

Multi — Cool as fuck. I mainly see him dropping in and out, so probably posts more in topics I don’t read. Keep it up and you’ll be in the higher echelons of the board in a year or two.

Nick — All round top man. FM/TTH, he rocks both.

Offshore Toon — Another I’ve had a distinct love/hate with through the years, but he seems settled, at least for the time being, and the past couple of years I’ve grown to respect and enjoy his input. Another who should post more, really.

Panda Bear — Reminds me of a guy I know from another board (could well be him for all I know). Has a way with words that many don’t (when it clicks that is), and idles by on the flow of life. Manages to take it to a pretentious level when he desires, which reads like attempting to get a rise. Has gone through the depression game, and may still be for all I know, so I find it easy to sympathise with him a lot of the time. Post more, dickhead.

Pen — I miss Pen, not gonna lie. Fucking awesome lad, was always up for a laugh, easy to chat to. Was a substantial player on here for a while, and having just heard about your new job, let me congratulate you. You’ll always have a place in my heart [d’aaww].

Pepe —Top 5. Really has a feel for the board, and seeing his rise from disgusting, awful, shambolic Mexican stereotype to a guy with style(!) and flow on here has been a wonderful journey. Fuck the haters, Pepe, you’re awesome.

Randomlegend — Like the guy. Prone to a whine, but fair play. I’m running out of steam now, but you’re solid.

Raoul Duke — Have a feeling he’s been around since the old days, I may be wrong. I barely notice him.

Regista — Another newer name I’ve started to see. Stick at it.

ScousePig — Bar sport, I rarely see him these days. His views on the sport are always worth a read, and another I’ll always respect due to days past.

sergeantdisco — See cord, really. Cracking sense of humour.

Serpent Gazeux — First couple of years where I noticed him, he came across as try hard and very, very, very, very dull. Has since flourished into a top 5 poster. Is exceptional at getting his point across, has somehow (fuck knows how) developed a good sense of humour, posts with authority and well, yeah, nothing more to say really. A classic example of the ‘slow’ rise. KUTGW.

Shindig — I only really see him around Gamezine. Yet again, one I’ll always have massive respect for, and seeing others elsewhere taking to his Stewart Lee comment has been a delight. Legend.

Simon. — Gets stick, and I’ve no idea why. I love the little cunt, he may have a retarded view on things at times, but he’s awesome. Fuck them all, mate. Fuck e’ryone.

SincereTheRebel — Never really got him until the past three years. Pathetically stupid, but mate, he’s got game. Finding out he has a love for dirty, nasty DnB (Shadow for life) was a delight. Keep on trucking, cretin.

Smiff — Has always been a complete mental, since my earliest memory of him. We mirror each other fairly well in our ups and downs, but we both approach it in different ways. His ‘throw stuff at it until something clicks’ isn’t summat I could follow, on the basis that those dark, fucking horrible moments will always break back through. Smiff, mate, you need to find that one thing you love, that one thing that fills your soul with passion, that makes you wake with an inherent desire to continue at it. You do that, and get the help you need, and man we’ll meet up, get fucking hammered and set the world to rights. One of the few I think, and worry about when away from the board. I love the guy.

Snapman —His early film tastes hinted at a don in the making, and he’s hit it recently. Currently the funniest poster around, I’d say.

Snazz — Amazing.

SpokesmaN — Another I notice, but have never really formed an opinion on.

Spoonsky — You’ll get there. I know the world is a haze of testosterone, conformity and all that other insignificant shit, but you’ll soon pop out the other side with a realisation that just simply being yourself is the best way. A lot of what I read does rub me up the wrong way, as you’re basically an amalgamation of about six posters at the moment. Your identity, man. You’ll find it. KUTGW.

SvN — Pretty awesome. I don’t agree with much of what he says, but a damn solid poster.

Taz — Third best poster on here. We’re basically in the meta stage of his character (it is, man, it is) now, and its glorious. Underlying all this bravado and nonsense and Liverpool shit is a clear intelligence, a proper knowledge of the board and the people that frequent, and I applaud it. Like standing ovation shit. I remember the tazmaniac cringe days, so again it’s a transformation and rise that’s been a delight to witness.

The Merse — Aye, no bad.

7om — Similar to Ian, but I like Seven’s views on WWE, it kinda counteracts that teenage spackability that Waff throws at the subject. An integral member of the board.

Toby — Alreet mate. We have fuck all in common, we both know it. Great stuff.

Townsend — Stop the hard man act. Just fucking calm down mate. You’re alreet, you’re a good lad, but it’s fucking awful.

Trancemeister — Solid music taste. That’s all I can ever say about him.

Vim — Another I rarely see or cross paths with these days. Always been sound.

Waffelz — Fucking up and down, all over the shop. Teenage life and that. Similar to Spoon, he’ll eventually calm down. Currently like a young puppy trying to fuck anything covered in fabric. Someone neuter him and we’re good.

Weaver — Another I rarely notice. Sorry man.

Wullie — The joint funniest post to every appear on TTH. Seems to barely post now, but after the amount of time he’s spent, and put into here, I get it. Always worth a read when he pops up.

Yevrah — And finally, the second best poster on here. All round, a fucking hero. Very odd taste in film, and in what he watches, but whatever floats your boat man. Stirs discussion, petrified of his missus, always worth a good PM. His lack of choosing a club will forever wind me up, but I’ve mellowed. One I’d happily go for a pint with. Legend.

Zimidy — Gets more stick than he should. Doesn’t offer much, but he raises a smile and really gets this place as what it should be. Player.




Snazz -


At one point I planned on releasing a TTH database for FM. Rather than create a signup and run the risk of the best ones not bothering to join in, I just made most of the stuff up. The team was in the English Championship and I got bored of creating players before I even thought about changing the rules to allow bigger registered squads so everyone could play.

Some of the attributes were random, but I picked a most of them depending on how I felt each of us would play football. Rather than posting a list, I figured I'd post some screenshots instead. You can mostly ignore the ages, a lot of them was just to get a good balance. A lot of stuff you can't see, such as second nationalities, place of birth and favourite/disliked personnel/clubs, so if you're really interested I'll attach the saved game to this post. I'll use spoiler tags so as not to break the thread.

Adramelch — http://i.imgur.com/U68oyvl.png
AE — http://i.imgur.com/tFmczc9.png
Andy — http://i.imgur.com/JeCuJRv.png
Benny — http://i.imgur.com/OPblkyI.png
*Bernanke — http://i.imgur.com/DfQ3kHH.png
Byron — http://i.imgur.com/ZT0NOjt.png
chaodck — http://i.imgur.com/3STMzjG.png
Chinny Hill — http://i.imgur.com/LZ6eN5i.png
Dark Soldier — http://i.imgur.com/KK8UIFI.png
Davgooner — http://i.imgur.com/1fY6tAx.png
Demerit — http://i.imgur.com/2dlqS7K.png
FrancisWalsh — http://i.imgur.com/MCfeMjZ.png
*Guido — http://i.imgur.com/GS6Ok0f.png
Harold Flair — http://i.imgur.com/OTP6pe5.png
Henry — http://i.imgur.com/FVBKT3J.png
Ian — http://i.imgur.com/V8A7YLl.png
Jimmy Floyd — http://i.imgur.com/CSlmmCf.png
John_Arne — http://i.imgur.com/3bUB6yu.png
Kikó — http://i.imgur.com/3FXgKpm.png
Laurent Robert — http://i.imgur.com/tI5DSfy.png
LeeCovFox — http://i.imgur.com/ynzSRnV.png
Lewis — http://i.imgur.com/1bSKdj9.png
*Luther Blissett — http://i.imgur.com/zOf2qDF.png
manc sean — http://i.imgur.com/0qMArs1.png
Mike — http://i.imgur.com/sJKI8eo.png
Minister De la Funk — http://i.imgur.com/hQWAR7X.png
*Miroc — http://i.imgur.com/1ZLVVfM.png
Multi — http://i.imgur.com/lm748xE.png
Offshore Toon — http://i.imgur.com/DKwcLBX.png
*Only1FilipSebo — http://i.imgur.com/rIN3SXs.png
Palmer — http://i.imgur.com/NkI7Eup.png
Panda Bear — http://i.imgur.com/3RCFUXt.png
Pepe — http://i.imgur.com/z87wmdh.png
Raoul Duke — http://i.imgur.com/VC0ltZt.png
*Rocchi — http://i.imgur.com/ZJi0GKx.png
*SerjTankian — http://i.imgur.com/szFCzac.png
Serpent Gazeux — http://i.imgur.com/4DkA0iA.png
Simon. — http://i.imgur.com/wtLZJin.png
Snapman — http://i.imgur.com/DYtKKTA.png
SvN — http://i.imgur.com/emaUuLB.png
Taz — http://i.imgur.com/vwJLBOC.png
*TG — http://i.imgur.com/VIkTUgX.png
7om — http://i.imgur.com/DVobW6l.png
Toby — http://i.imgur.com/iTeqWJS.png
Trancemeister — http://i.imgur.com/xRNDHia.png
*Utotri — http://i.imgur.com/7vXoASV.png
Wullie — http://i.imgur.com/DVrarr0.png
Yevrah — http://i.imgur.com/yQ0XXTH.png

* Not on the list in the OP, but was on my list when creating the database.

Apologies to those who aren't listed, but I hadn't got around to making you yet.

It won't let me attach the file (it's 1mb too big) so here's a dropbox link: https://www.dropbox.com/s/cqi26u2mhl43kdj/TTH.fm



Spoonsky -


adamski — One of the new posters, all of whom seem to become mental on occasion. I can’t say I notice him much other than looking at his name, a name that I used to not ever see on the board, and thinking about all the new posters.

Adramelch — The job in Barcelona sounds brilliant and I enjoy his posts about that. Other than that he seems alright on football, if a bit dry.

AE — Fuck Marvell Wynne.

Apples — I just find him a bit boring. He’s got a nice family, a nice house, plays sports, blandly supports United… but what else is there? He’s one of those where you feel weird saying something negative about him because he’s so nice to everyone.

Benny — Benny’s pretty good. He’s best in his bantz with Kiko, or in photoshop. I always find myself vaguely confused when he posts about Spurs. Occasionally his posts read to me as if they were written by a foreigner, which is strange.

Captain Trips — Living in Ohio probably explains Trips quite well. Star Wars nerd, metal nerd, stupid relationships… he quite clearly likes this place, though, probably because it’s an escape from rural America. However, his American pride stops him from admitting this.

Charlie — The post about the people fixing the shower made me lol a lot. I like Charlie a lot, he thinks for himself and his posts are always interesting, even if I rarely agree with his view on things. I like calling him Chuckie, too, so that’s another purpose he serves.

Chrissy — Another new poster who seems to be mental on occasion. In this case I mean that he shat the bed. Sorry to bring that up. Who was it that smelled bad? They’re another in the category. It can be quite strange when he seems to be testing new material on us, as well.

Corduroy — Brilliant in Hax rooms. He seems quite lonely, though. Him and Ian should move in together and film a buddy comedy. “The Haxover.”

Dark Soldier — I should say that I like DS. That said, he’s quite clearly past it. He resorts to posting obvious shit like this (http://www.thedugout.net/community/showpost.php?p=4195906&postcount=327”]this[/URL] and [URL="http://www.thedugout.net/community/showpost.php?p=4195780&postcount=289) and this (http://www.thedugout.net/community/showpost.php?p=4195750&postcount=278), and defending the Seethe Epidemic, because he no longer has anything of substance, or even of any interest, to post about.

Davgooner — Proper supporter, and one of the best at ripping into people, maybe, although he does it rarely.

Dj_Luca — Luca’s the best person on here to have a chat with, so I think he’s quality. That said, his posting can be quite bland (see: RL).

Hammerstein — One of the new occasionally mental posters. They should have a catchy nickname or something; I’ve tried to think of one but I can’t. Hammer’s alright.

Harold Bishop — His posts about UKIP are alright, everything else is pretty shit, especially on religion. You wonder what he gets out of this place.

hydrocephalus — James is another who’s very good to talk to. I admire him a lot. I don’t notice his posts very much, though. The new avatar is shit, he should go back to the old man.

IanWelby — Got a life, which is a shame. However, the Haxball revival has been good and he’s quality in a Hax room. His posts are still good, just less frequent.

ItalAussie — I’ve come to like Ital more recently. I’m not really sure why.

Jimmy Floyd — Like great authors, he has a knack of drawing insights which, upon reading, you realize that you’ve known all along, you just needed someone to articulate them. His entry on Mert from a while ago, for example, that was brilliant. For this same reason I always look forward to his WDYTOE entry on me more than any other. His posting seems to have decreased in volume slightly in recent months, but he’s as good as Lewis.

John — He’s become a sort of ‘voice of reason’ for the board. He reminds of all those rock bands from the 2000s who started off really angry and intense and ‘edgy’ and then, album after album, slowed down and became calmer. Arctic Monkeys, the Strokes, Franz Ferdinand… 2014 John is “Suck It And See” to 2010 John’s “Whatever People Say I Am, That’s What I’m Not.”

kizmarlo — Another of those newbies. Although maybe he’s been here longer.

LeeCovFox — I barely noticed Lee until he began to post more frequently in the Jobs Thread - or maybe I just began to read it more? - but since then he’s been really good. He’s honest, never talks shit, and gives a good perspective. I will admit to feeling slightly smug, as the car keys jangle in my pocket, whenever he talks about failing a driving test. Empathy is dead.

Lewis — He was as on top form earlier, but in the spring he’s declined a bit. Mocking Harold, for example, is boring, even if it’s amusing. His posts about his life remain his best - or at least tied with the huge paragraphs of Lewisized history lessons - and I always feel somewhat impressed that he’s not shy in real life. I reckon he’s due another breakdown in the next year or so; his life seems emotionally unsustainable. That’s a pretty lol phrase, like something a school counselor would say, but still.

He needs to stop starting his parentheticals with a capital letter.

Luke Emia — The thing in the hospital sounds so shit. Commiserations.

Magic Johnson — I just don’t think he’s a very good person; the Downs thing, for example, fucking hell. It has been interesting comparing his posts on Facebook, which I’ve been reading the last two years or more, with his posts on here.

Mahow — He’s alright, and a nice person, but he seems to consistently be an incorrect wanker about things, like supporting your country, or Andy Murray. That said, all 75,000 of his posts on here were worth it for the one moment of hilarity in a Hax room on Friday.

mert — Jimmy’s post remains pertinent. I actually sort of miss his old nonsense, because it could be entertaining at least; ‘boring conservative’ is just boring. His opposition to the Seethe Epidemic provided some hope, but then he went and destroyed the next few pages, so nothing has really changed.

Multi — That tattoo...

niko_cee — I never differentiated him from other Liverpool fans until the title run, when he began to seem somehow better. That’s still my only real opinion of him - an improved Liverpool fan.

Offshore Toon — TTH misses the activity he creates. His posting itself is good too. I find his posts about his girl somewhat disconcerting; how hard is it to stay content in a relationship? Offy is pretty cool.

Okay_Amigo — We’re going to rip Reykjavik to shreds.

Panda Bear — His Facebook wall is quality these days. Not sure what he posts anymore, though; mainly nothing. I do wish he’d post more.

Pepe — The king of the obvious twats (http://www.thedugout.net/community/showpost.php?p=4195745&postcount=275) - as a poster I find his only redeeming quality to be his perspective as a Mexican student in St. Louis. To be fair to him, though, English isn’t his first language, and I believe people communicate much differently in a foreign language - even with a better grasp of French, for example, I doubt I’d be any better than Pepe is on a French forum. (Come at me Lewis.)

I’ve just remembered that his entry on me last year was really good. Not just positive, I mean, but really smart - the whole list was really good. I go back and forth quite a lot on Pepe, to be honest - at the moment I’ve swung toward the negative side of the pendulum.

Randomlegend — His posts are written in such a neutral, unaffected way - the other end of the spectrum would be Taz - that, apparently along with the majority of TTHers, I struggle to notice him. James, in his new account, is similar, as well as probably some others who I can't recall. Luca is largely the same, even when he's taking over the world. It's not a bad thing, really, because we obviously can't all slip into different voices; that would be weird. But I think it is the reason, along with the scarcity of his posts and the narrowness of their content, that people don't have much more to say than "RAAAANDREW".

Regista — Another of the new guys. I lose track. He posts about football a lot, I think, and sometimes I find myself vehemently disagreeing with him, but he’s pretty decent. His list was good.

Serpent Gazeux — He’s very, very good, but prone on occasion to weird, cryptic shit like this (http://www.thedugout.net/community/showpost.php?p=4195606&postcount=210). His exchanges with Toby are weird, too, as it does seem like he’s trying to bring a rise out of him. His posts on Liverpool are usually quality, especially in the way they mention the club’s recent history - the Gaz Bas fiasco, etc. In the same way, his history exchanges with Lewis are very good.

Simon. — I’ve found him to be petulant and defensive in this thread - I was probably petulant too, in the beginning, although not to the same degree as that shambles - and in an attempt to improve my opinion of him I read most of his list. Reading it, it struck me that he sounds a bit like a normal 16 year old; lots of words like “interesting”, and superlatives. He is smarter than a normal 16 year old, and he often acts like it, but I still find him a bit, er, teenaged-seeming. His Facebook profile has arguably contributed to this a great deal.

Snapman — Brilliant, if sparse - to be fair, though, surely he is much more of a ‘parody’ than Taz is? Not to take away from his posting, which is quality. Never noticed him much before a few months ago, when he caught my attention with his film list. That’s another thing, he’s probably got the best taste on TTH. And this (http://www.thedugout.net/community/showpost.php?p=4159179&postcount=21626) is one of the best posts ever.

Spoonsky — I think people get a bit stuck when talking about me; either I’m desperate to fit in or I’m a hormone-riddled mess. Both are partly true, but there are other things to talk about, like how much I overuse “Fucking hell”. This is Pepe’s entry on me from last year, which I think is accurate:

He is way too self-aware, which makes him feel out of place with people his age (especially knowing how 'deep' Americans are). So he comes here looking for something more mature, but due to his age, he also ends up being a little out of place. He is not particularly funny, but definitely not boring. Not particularly interesting, but that will come with age (who care about high school stories, after all).

Taz — I really don’t think it’s a persona. I think it’s honest. Taz might be my favorite poster, his turn of phrase is brilliant and he thinks for himself.

7om — Goes through heavy “obvious twat” phrases, and then becomes alright again. Perhaps he’s too tired from working to post anything more than what he does post.

Toby — I hardly see him posting recently. I wish he would post more, he’s a very good poster when he’s at it. This seems to have descended into a proper bore now.

Townsend — One of the great mysteries of TTH: What happened to Townsend? My money’s on a traumatic breakup.

Waffelz — I think he’s much better than he used to be. He used to pretty shit, which he knew and knows, but now I think he’s alright. He’s not annoying anymore, even if he doesn’t contribute a whole lot to the discussion. Good dude.

Wullie — If he still has the MS Paint pictures on his computer he should post them again, lots of the images are dead from that thread, which is a shame.

Yevrah — He annoys me less these days.

Zimidy — Without a doubt the most boring poster on the board. He makes Ital look like Taz, Lewis and Jimmy wrapped into one. If he left it would be like the death of a small, occasionally noisy fly inside your house - TTH would be slightly better without really changing at all.

[Samadini]

Offshore Toon -


adamski — Seems like an odd bloke. Took a few shots at me out of nowhere when he first arrived, but he seems to stick to the job thread talking about how to save money on oats mostly. He's alright, I guess.
Adramelch — Provides a different perspective and seems like a nice guy.
AE — It's quite funny that his recent success on TTH was just a by-product of football as I'm not sure he could have managed it otherwise, but he's brought a lot of enjoyment to the community and in return somebody will update his Wikipedia entry.
Alan Shearer The 2nd — I probably notice him more than others due to the Newcastle link, but he's alright to have around and I'd imagine this place is just used to kill twenty minutes now and then.
Alex — He's posting less, I think, or it could be that the hip hop thread is struggling more and more these days. I can't see my opinion on Alex ever changing.
Andy — Is too busy for us these days but it's nice to him to stop by now and then.
Apples — Very odd guy. He seems like the 'family' type and I bet his kids'll be weird as well. I'm not sure what else he posts about other than Australian sports.
Bamster — It's nice to come on at 6am and see somebody else about. Newer guys don't seem to fully understand Bam, but those of us who have been around know what he's about. Deep down he's a nice guy with a good sense of humour.
Benny — Fairly important to TTH and has been for a while. He's like a mate that you can just write shit to knowing he'll write shit back and neither of you will actually laugh at each other's jokes (I'd imagine we all find our own jokes funnier) but maybe smirk a bit and enjoy the time-wasting.
Boydy — Bit of a ponce that revels in misery - like Morrissey without the redeeming musical talent.
Byron — He does post a bit FM sectiony, which has developed into football postery. He's one of those posters that are like Mahow but with a brain.
Captain Trips — Lacks self-awareness. He's been told enough times that he's a wanker and the 'I don't care about you guys' act is clearly false. What he really needs to stop doing is telling us about his girlfriends because it makes for very difficult reading. Not that he cares.
cearles — I don't know why he didn't get cut because I'm certain I haven't seen him for years now.
chaodck — Good guy but I feel his potential is capped at 'decent foreigner'. It would be nice for him to prove me wrong, though, because the foreigners need a boost. It could be a language barrier thing.
Charlie — Offers something unique to the board on top of being a good all-rounder.
Chinny Hill — I love Chinny at the moment. I can't imagine many more entertaining nights on TTH than him hitting the bottle after a City loss.
Chrissy — Slightly tragic, but he's trying. He seems like a nice bloke but taking your frustrations out on Mert isn't fair but he seems to have realised that cracking jokes all the time won't work.
CJ — Seems to fit into the part-part-timer category these days, but I liked having him around and I can see him being more prolific in the future.
Corduroy — I don't have that much to say but he's alright without ever being active.
Danny — Comes and goes without making much of an impact but he's alright.
Dark Soldier — Doesn't seem to really add much at the moment. He's a nice, helpful guy that'll never actually leave the place, which is a good thing.
Davgooner — I don't notice much from Dav either these days. He's still good when he does pop up, though.
Demerit — A bit like Andy but with a job that involves a computer so we seem to hear about it quite often. TTH could use a resident estate agent and here he is.
diljeet — It's quite funny how he carries on about his business. We'll still be wondering in ten years what he gets from this place.
Dj_Luca — Busy jetting around the world. I couldn't handle having a life as interesting as his, but he's always good to chat to and quite possibly the best internet friend a boy could ask for.
eltharion_doa — I've never taken enjoyment from Elth's posting due to a clash of styles. He just seems to post about Man Utd when he's about.
Fandan — Alright to have around and certainly not the worst poster.
Five Time — I feel he should also have been culled. I can't remember the last time I saw a post of his.
Foe — Bless him. He's a bit girly in the sense that he's very nice but he'll throw a paddy if you upset him. It's nice to hear of him doing well despite the stress.
FrancisWalsh — Funny guy to have around. He seemed to just pop up out of nowhere and start losing weight.
Fry Crayola — There's definitely a clash of styles here. It's almost like he thinks dragging out an uninteresting post will make it interesting, but more power to him because he has his fans.
Hammerstein — Slightly odd, but clearly likes the place a lot and is willing to work for it. I don't think he's underrated and I don't think he makes good threads, but I do like him.
Harold Bishop — He is quite funny sometimes but he gets more shit now that Lewis has turned on him. He does care because he cares enough to be here.
Henry — Possibly the most interesting posting history of any member but his spark appears to be fading out. I see his name in the film thread a lot but I don't go in there so all I see is him still wishing death on people.
hydrocephalus — He's a good lad and long-standing 'mate' on here. It was an odd experience meeting him, but definitely a positive one and if I hadn't dropped that pill then who knows what may have happened. Things are more complicated this year with Girl likely to be at my hip for the entire weekend but we exchange numbers again and just see what happens. I'm not keen on introducing somebody as from the internet, but you have enough Brighton in your history for that to not be a problem.
Ian — I worry he might be a bit lonely in life, but he's a good guy and I can't thank him enough for his services to Haxball. I'll hopefully be able to play a lot more from September.
ItalAussie — A bit like a babysitter these days but I guess history suggests we need one.
Jimmy Floyd — Smart and can be very funny but the way he puts his opinion across sometimes is just awful. I take pleasure from seeing him proven wrong, which happens more often than he'd like.
John — Seems to be posting a bit less but still around doing what he does. He seems to be the only moderator that moderates as well.
John_Arne — I'm wondering how old he is because it would make sense for him to be 34ish. Seems to miss the joke at times but he's alright.
Kikó — He's probably offered me weeks of free accommodation at this point which goes to show how great a guy he is. If there was a Fantasy TTH Meet thread then Kiko would definitely be on there. Everybody likes him, and I usually don't trust people like that, but there you go. He's a good poster as well. Keeps it light-hearted and gets about.
kizmarlo — He's alright to have around. The heart attack stuff was interesting to read, so I hope there's more of that.
Laurent Robert — Disappeared, hasn't he? Good poster to have around and I like his posts in the world football thread.
LeeCovFox — I wouldn't go as far as others and suggest he's one of the best posters, but he is a good all-rounder and has a lot of offer.
LeedsRevolution — Very dim. He has margianally improved but he's still odd.
Lewis — I thought about doing a Still D.R.E. type of thing, but you'd need to be forced into obscurity and accused of being gay for that to work. The backlashes are quite funny. It's just more ammunition. Posters on this board just don't realise that you get rid of a problem on the internet by ignoring it. I'd be lying if I said he was as good as ever, but he's still up there with the best and that won't change.
Lofty — You really need to get out of that situation, mate. Your posts don't paint a pretty picture and pretending only provides more pain. Good poster when he's on form.
Luke Emia — Very much a football poster and I don't really do that anymore. He seems alright.
m1j1browning — Only seems to pop up in werewolf games of which it's difficult to judge him in.
Magic Johnson — I don't personally feel he adds anything to the board. I never have. I can stand him, but I just think he's a bit shit. There's still a big improvement from the Modern Culture days.
Mahow — You've been found out, son. I had you marked from early days which is why I had you afraid of Teh Refuge and why I battered you on FIFA. He's actually fine and I think it's just taking him a while to adjust into proper society so he doesn't quite realise when he's being a dickhead.
manc sean — Bit of a prat but missed a little bit also.
MartinSAFC — Pretty good poster but isn't around much.
Max Power — I'd like to see him step up in the hip hop thread with absences from myself and Alex. He's doing alright so far but there's more there.
Mellin — He'll be back on normal hours at some point and then hopefully we'll get him back for a bit.
mert — He doesn't help himself. I'd imagine it's quite frustrating to identify the type of person you want to be and then get knocked back for trying to be that person. If I was convinced that I'd chosen the best characterists and then everybody hated me I'd probably carry on as well.
mf_phonics — He knows he's a twat.
Mike — Good guy and fun loving. I'd definitely join for a cycle if I were ever to move up that way.
Minister De la Funk — Used to be really funny but now I don't see much of him.
Multi — Now that Lewis has pinpointed him as a top foreigner his stock is set to rise, which is good for me because I've had stocks in Multi for a while. He is a good poster and we share interests so I can't ask for much more, although the horse-eating episode better not reoccur.
Nick — Another football poster. He seems alright.
nickfootie5 — Nick is a funny guy. There's definitely a lot more there but it'll take an illness for us to see it, I think. He just isn't that interested in the place.
niko_cee — Quite possibly the best he's ever been, or at least that I can remember.
Okay_Amigo — Still a mate.
P_3 — I had him confused with that soppy Russian for ages. He doesn't really add much but he's okay.
Palmer — Good in Haxball but I don't notice him much otherwise. I'm sure he's a good poster, though.
Panda Bear — Great fun and a great guy. Good poster, as well.
Pen — It's a shame that he won't be able to post more. I feel living in the UK for a bit really helped him progress as a poster.
Pepe — I don't agree with people giving rankings in a WDYTOE, but - come Christmas I'll be #TeamPepe'ing the shit out of this place. Every post is quality and he's the funniest poster on the board at the moment.
Pleb — A very special poster.
Randomlegend — I like him and everything but I should have more to say after nine years. Make stories up if you have to.
Raoul Duke — He posts like a bit of a chummy/'cool' manager. He's alright.
Regista — If I had to pick Best Newbie right now I'd choose him. He's settling in well and hopefully by Christmas he'll be more comfortable around here.
Reiver — Should have been culled because I all I can recall is him popping into mumu.
Rocchi — He seems alright but I get him confused with other Scottish posters.
ScousePig — It'll be interesting to see what he makes of being a teacher because that could help me further along. A solid poster that isn't around much anymore.
sergeantdisco — Good poster. I feel if our ages were closer then we'd have more of a connection but that can't be helped.
Serpent Gazeux — He's not the best poster on the board. He doesn't have enough range. His response to the TTH Meet just shows that he's still slightly unhinged. Nobody else turned into MentalLAD after the meet. He does post well most of the time, but he's a bit too stiff for me.
Shindig — Funny guy. Good poster.
Simon. — The assertiveness doesn't suit you, but apart from that you're not really much different: still a good poster. You'd like me a lot more in person, I'd imagine. I don't criticise nearly as much.
SincereTheRebel — He has his critics but I think he's quality. Nobody else does what he does, and even if he wasn't a good poster that would be a good quality to have.
Smiff — I can see why people would have a problem with him, and he can see that too, but on the whole he's good to have around. He's put more effort into certain posts than some posters have put into their entire history.
Snapman — A bit off the wall and it's an act that I'm already slightly tired of, but he's still a decent poster.
Snazz — What a gal. That YouTube video was brilliant. Me, you and Sincere need to get together and form an elite club of black people.
SpokesmaN — Doesn't seem to be around that much so should have been culled.
Spoonsky — He's a good poster, but there's definitely something that can irritate from time to time. I think he's past caring what people think as much which will see him improve drastically as the years go by. He holds a good chat on Facebook as well so fair play.
SvN — Another good poster that has disappeared.
Taz — One of the best posters about. He has his own style and it works in every thread.
The Merse — Alright when he's about.
7om — Good poster that doesn't seem to be become part of the furniture yet. A valued member of the Haxball crew.
Toby — I don't really know what to say. He's definitely here sometimes but I can't remember a recent post.
Townsend — The only thing I can think of is that he's started taking steroids but he's still a sound lad. The only difference is I wouldn't have a go at him on Haxball anymore.
Trancemeister — Seems to stick to the dance thread listening to a fair amount of trash.
Vim — He called me fat once. Ha. Decent kid but I see him as somebody who'll grow away from TTH for some reason.
Waffelz — Really, really odd. Go to your GP, mate. Tell him you're depressed.
Weaver — Haven't noticed him much posting about Newcastle anymore but he's alright.
Wullie — I think he's stopped being funny now, which makes me wonder what happened. Good taste in music and still valued in the hip hop thread.
Yevrah — He doesn't like not getting his own way, it seems. Nowhere near as good as Pepe.
Zimidy - I'm not sure he'll hang around once he gets a job, unless he's been lying to us about what his life is like. He's alright, though.



Magic -


Tailed off towards the end, I started at 8:30 and haven't done any work yet so thought I'd better hurry:

AE — Black laughing stock. Definitely a choc ice, so in touch with his emotional side, friend-zoned to the max, but donning his way through life. I like to think all that maggotness paid off and he's a successful high flyer now. Either that or a low-level banger.

Alan Shearer The 2nd — Legend. Often see him tooting about in his Asian mobile, saw him in the cinema once but his good looks intimidated me and put me off saying hello. I was just the jealous husband in the cupboard that night.

Andy — Andy is a proper bloke *said in Yorkshire accent*. IIRC he's got his own trade business? Loves football, loves a laugh, just a nice honest guy.

Bamster — :wub: Oh Bam where art thou. A projection of myself in 20 years' time. He must be knocking on 50's door now. Really shouldn't be allowed on the internet. Maybe his wife has stopped him. :(

Benny — I love this man. Or loved, since he left me out of his shithouse list. I remember when I honeymoon'd in Tenerife, he wrote up a great little bio of the place for me, and sent me some pics. Really nice thing to do. I'd marry him.

Boydy — Miserable whining seperatist. Boydy only got laughs out of other people being torn down, and the only thing that can make him ejaculate successfully is a good ol' bit of Schadenfreude.

Captain Trips — Trips makes me laugh occassionally, but most of the time you read his posts with a permanent cringe. Tries way too hard to not fit in, but if he didn't, he'd probably be an alright member. Twat really.

Charlie — Lolton. Bit of a mental, and I reckon he'll end up in the Tawianese version of the gulags at some point. Or end up as a sort of government opposition freedom fighter.

Chinny Hill — Chinny is genuinely a complete turd.

Dark Soldier — I love DS. He's my marker, always takes me down a peg when I think I'm getting big bollocks. I'm glad, from what I've seen so far, he seems to be a lot happier with the shit life is chucking at him now. A man I genuinely wish all the best for the future.

Davgooner — What more needs to be said? He has no enemies. In fact, Dav and Andy would be my dream 'Pub for footy?' line up. :thbup:

Dela - is he gone now then? He was fucking great. Lamaface was legendary.

diljeet — Annoying freak. Like a daddy long legs you'll not notice him for ages then all of a sudden he dive-bombs you with an unfunny gif or picture that makes you vomit in your mouth. Cunt actually.

Dj_Luca — ARGH. His posts on Facebook are amazing, he is a complete don. So happy, so rich, so genuine. Kudos.

eltharion_doa — Smug, arrogant, his sense of superiority is certainly a sight to behold. But there has never been an explanation as to why, so fuck him.

Fandan — Was convinced he was a homosexual at one point. Think that's all I have to say about Fanny. In fact I still think he is a homosexual.

Foe — Foe must be an ironic name, how can anyone hate this man/woman? He's so gentle and caring. Still soft as shit though, despite his build he's not someone you'd want watching your back if things got heated.

FrancisWalsh — Strange cunt. Last thing I remember is he had a meltdown at people rightly calling him out over being shit. I haven't really seen him post since I returned so that's still my opinion.

Fry Crayola — I like Fry. One of the better mods. I've no idea what he's up to, still living in his bedroom playing/writing computer games?

Harold Bishop — Delusional mouth piece. Bit of a loner I reckon, has posters of Pat Condell and Hitchins plastered all over his wanking den, and gets his thoughts from far-right websites. Completely unaffected by immigration, these sort normally hold the strongest of views.

Henry — Henn0rz. The opposite of Harold, hating capitalism so much yet quielty muddling away as a pawn in it's vicsious game of money chess as a call centre worker. Bizarre situation. No idea what he's up to now.

Ian — Nice bloke, shame to see he's not posting so much but we're starting to grow up so fair play to him. I look out for his posts.

ItalAussie — Enigma (no, not him). One of the cleverest on here but a devout Christian? What? And in Maths too! Could really do with lightening up though.

Jimmy Floyd — A class act. I see Jimmy as a cigar smoking, white V-neck jumper wearing, cricket loving Southern softy. Bit chubby too. But despite that, he has a great sense of humour and is very, very intelligent. Meal times probably consist of strawberries and cream and prawn sandwiches, in his quiet couple of acres on a tartan blanket.

John — Used to think he was a prick, and he was by all means. Seems alright now though, less keyboard warriorish, more tell it like it is ish. A shit version of DS in that respect.

Kikó — I'm indifferent about Kiko. He's there, like that piece of furniture you've been meaning to chuck out but never do. There's more to him than that though, undoubtedly, in fact that's a disservice to his membership. He's like that piece of furniture you love but your wife wants to chuck out.

LeeCovFox — How do describe Lee? :) < That sums him up wonderfully.

LeedsRevolution — Bit dim, weird views for a #northernLAD but a Leeds fan so he's my mate.

Lewis — :lewis: Fucking legend.

Lofty — Lofty is mental. A giant ball of chaos. He had a quiet start, but once he started sharing his outside-TTH life with us, shit got real. Adds to the charm I suppose.

Mahow — I still don't get Mahow. I rarely notice him post but he's on like 80k? And when he does it's a pointless one liner or pathetic insult. I don't mind him, right enough, but I just don't get it.

manc sean — Looks like the witch from Room on the Broom, one of my child's books. A hideous man, passionate, but a bit dim. Shit scum bastard too.

Mellin — #LAD completely under-rated.

mert — Prick. He's a repulsive little cunt that needs a good fucking hiding to bring him back down to reality. This is what happens when you're parents apply no discipline and have wealth. He'll end up like that weird cunt who shot all those birds in America.

mf_phonics — Good and shit at the same time. We have opposing views, and he can be quite sarcastic and superior as those with liberal views tend to be, but despite that I think he's good, especially in football-related threads.

Nick — Arse. Has no concept of humour and really should lighten up.

Offshore Toon — We'll never get on, probably because we were competing for the same stage in the early days. I really couldn't care less about Offy, it's just one of those things. Had either of us been a little bit older or younger back then, I'm sure it would have been different. I'm glad he finds me 'meh' though, we hated each other at one point.

Panda Bear — He's my fav. Just a great looking, charming, clever man. Though I bet he has a dark side. Like Paul Dano. Frightening. One of the best on here.

Pen — Another legend. Mid-morning kru MASSIVE. Of course that's when I was a true procrastinator. Shame he isn't around as often!

Pepe — Pepe! Can take a good slagging on the chin with the best of them. Never holds a grudge. He's actually one of my favourite posters on here.

Randomlegend — Hmm, oftentimes we had a great laugh, othertimes we were arguing like little bitches. I'm still feeling out this relationship, even though I've been back for a few weeks I've not noticed RL post. :(

sergeantdisco — Always mixed him up with SG.

Serpent Gazeux — He's met a few posters on here, which is strange as I had him pegged down as the bloke that never left his house and had a good dose of the old agrophobia. Glad to see he's doing well in real life, well, sort of. I think he's doing well, even if he might think he isn't.

Shindig — Shinners is awesome. Now he is truly under-rated. He'd never be on your first 5 members to mention if you thought of TTH, but if you had a good think about it he'd top most lists, or certainly be near it. I think he looks a bit like Adrian Mole, but with shorter hair.

SincereTheRebel — What is Sincere? He likes to let us think he's as thick as pig shit but there's more to him than that if you look deeper than the surface. He's actually quite astute and has great timing for gags. He also pretends he's from Trinidad or something and is quite a stocky pimp. I bet he's just a white nerd in Wolverhampton or something.

Smiff — Mental. Was on the verge of suicide when I left, then had a 'saw the light' moment and became as soft as shit. Not really sure where he's at now, but good to see him still kicking about.

Spoonsky — Bit of a weirdo. I suppose if you become a member of a messageboard when he did, especially one like this full of miserable student cunts, you're going to turn out a bit strange. Hope he does really well with his studies though.

Taz — Brah. My favourite hardline Imam on here. Nah he's a good bloke, lives life to the full, takes silly risks, doesn't give a fuck. Surely the only way to live your life.

7om — I didn't like 7om but that was during my selfish 'don't give a fuck' days. Actually seems a really lovely bloke.

Toby — Heed. What the fuck is he up to now? Not seen him around. :(

Townsend — Bit of a nobody and in his desperation to get noticed he's turned in to a prick. Way to go, bellshiner!

Vim — I don't know why Vim thought we didn't get on, I can't remember any barnies we had? He was just a shitter version of Luca, but authentic Italian. He didn't offend or upset anyone, and I'm glad he's let that continue, as it's so easy to just start throwing out insults on here.

Waffelz — My wee Dundee buddy. Don't get the Waffelz hate from some, fine he doesn't add as much as some people but he's still a football lover and wholly inoffensive.

Wullie — Hero. Simply a brilliant member.

Yevrah — I like Harv. Every time he watched a 'thinking' film there'd be a thread micro-analysing every fucking scene. Quite amusing. He's a good guy though, and is actually rather funny.

Zimidy — Bit twattish occassionally, bit funny occassionally. The board would be lesser without him though.

FFS Notepad has fucked the formatting, wait...WAIT!!!

EDIT: Ok I think that's it sorted, point out any issues. Please bear in mind a lot has changed obviously so I might from this point onwards change my opinion or whatever. :)



LeedsRevolution -


First ever list. Sorry for the cull but most of you mean absolutely nothing to me.


AE — Hope he gets signed again and has contributed to my most memorable TTH moment watching that game on TV. Does seem to only come on here these days to tell us about his career though, and has kind of disappeared since he was released.

Bamster — I sent him a PM once.

Captain Trips — When he first joined the forum he was a retard. But these days seems a much more coherent poster and contributes here well. I do miss some of his fucking stupid posts though.

Chrissy — Far too Scottish for my liking. Why be so defensive.

Corduroy — I can't think of much to write for Corduroy but couldn't leave it blank. He seems alright, if I remember rightly.

Dark Soldier — DS is probably the funniest poster on here in my opinion. But I always get the impression that if he put in as much effort into real life as he does on the internet he'd be the fucking prime minister. I used to hate the fucker, but I've only herd good things about him so I take anything I've thought back.

diljeet — Yeah, I like him.

Hammerstein — Good poster, funny guy and consistent at the top, top level.

Harold Bishop — I just get the impression that Harold is some 20 something lad who lives with his mum and dad in the suburbs of some really fucking shit city, or possibly a shit town. On one hand, hats off for being consistent with your views. But your constant googling around for answers whilst eating Nick Griffins cock is fucking boring.

Henry — Pretty much the anti-Harold. So left-wing it's glorious. Where Harold just relentlessly copies shit articles to back his posts Henry has some substance.

Ian — Fucking legend.

Jimmy Floyd — Seems to talk a lot of sense and is pretty funny guy.

John — Had a few run ins with him a while ago. Just acted like a school girl bitch throughout.

kizmarlo — Take a chill pill, seriously. You need a massage or something, I reckon your backs full of knots and that is most bad.

LeedsRevolution — Dim retard, slightly improved.

Lewis — I don't get it. I can only assume he lives off former glories because it's just a bit meh.

Lofty — I just love that picture. Like a lot.

Magic Johnson — I don't think I have anything really in common with MJ other than Leeds United. But when I first joined the forum he stuck up for me at some points which was appreciated. I do often laugh at his posts so yeah, top bloke and glad he's back.


Mellin — Seems like a nice enough chap, will always remember when he was arrested and the thread surrounding his court case, and the subsequent hilarity when he stopped posting after the said case (sorry).

mert — Fucking hate this guy, it's just so boring. Like a broken record constantly playing a Justin Bieber / Miley Cyrus mix.

mf_phonics — Some people seem not to like mf_phonics, I've never understood why as he always seems alright to me, pretty funny on occasions but nothing to edgy. Maybe I've missed something here.

Minister De la Funk — Has a good taste in music, which I always like.

Nick — Remember him mainly from the Football Manager forums, doesn't seem to post as much any more which is a shame because he always came across pretty level headed.

Offshore Toon — I don't have a problem with Offy. I do get the impression that he is over confident with nothing to back it up. He never seems to be funny / witty or anything over than your average poster but he seems to have put himself on a pedestal, a pedestal made of shit.

Palmer — Feel sorry for Palmer, just because he's a fan of Stockport. Quite like his posts in the non league thread and it's good to here what's happening with his awful football club.

Panda Bear — I find Panda Bear funny. I'm not sure why because he just talks unrelated bollocks most of the time, but meh – pretty amusing nevertheless.

Pepe — He's at your mum's lol

Randomlegend — I don't really have any oppinion of him, other than the fact he has a cool nickname now.

Simon. — Seems like a good guy, maybe a bit boring and tries too hard to be liked around here. I would like to see him drink a litre of whiskey and just tear shit up. But people wouldn't like it, so he won't.

SincereTheRebel — Posts a lot of tits, can't really fault him.

Smiff — Don't get me wrong, I'm glad you haven't topped yourself. But it's getting to a point where your the guy threatening to jump – and I'm drunk dickhead at the bottom saying just fucking do it or shut the fuck up. Seriously, try and be happy not suicidal, you do seem better now though - and I am happy about that.

Snazz — I like Snazz, I'm not really sure why he always seems friendly but also has something about him where most people on here don't.

Spoonsky — Only a kid, I think? But top guy, friendly – pretty funny with a great taste in music.

Taz — Every forum needs someone like Taz, he seems pretty opinionated but most of the stuff he says makes sense when it comes to football. Although like all Liverpool fans is slightly deluded. But I quite like that.


7om — Didn't know much about Tom until Haxball, really a decent chap and will go out of his way to make you feel welcome. I would say he is probably my favourite poster on TTH.

Townsend — I don't have a strong opinion of Townsend, I like him and seems to be a decent poster.

Vim — Seems like a complete moron to me, I usually just skip his posts without much consideration. Seems to have a stiff upper lip, but he won't understand what that means cos he's a dodgy Italian.

Waffelz — I find Waffelz really funny. He don't really give a fuck and is a bit like Taz but without the super absorbed Liverpool shit he surrounds himself around. I have plenty of time for him and seems to be growing up on the forum and it too a decent chap.

Zimidy — All I really remember of Zimidy is the sick as fuck pictures he put on the Boston Bombings thread. The pictures were bad, granted; but it was almost like he was getting a sick thrill from posting them. Which he probably was, the sick fucker.

[Samadini]

Jimmy Floyd -


AE — I think it says a lot for us as a community that AE was on here an hour after most of his televised or more prestigious matches.

Andy — I take his posts to be the voice of objective truth on Southampton, as applies to posters here for quite a number of those clubs that aren't constantly all over the papers. With that in mind, it's astonishing how many lazy assumptions and disdainful generalisations are often applied to those clubs by those in the mainstream media. Celebrity culture has superseded football culture now, in that the story isn't what happens on the pitch, it's the narrative of what’s happening around it. Wayne Rooney could not play for two years and he'd still be a bigger story than Southampton. Which is a pity, as it means the number of Andys out there must slowly be diminishing whilst the number of Yevrahs, with all due respect to Yevrah, which is a fair bit, moves in the other direction.

Apples — Post more in the cricket thread. Straylia need more cheerleaders. Probably spends all his time writing letters to Margle Hussey asking him to come back.

Bamster — Now posts so rarely that when he does it's like watching an old Harry Enfield sketch from 20 years ago and thinking my, this has dated.

Benny — Benny is good and all, but his posting is always going to be limited by the fact that it occurs entirely during office hours. That means that his offerings are rarely longer than a line, and almost never intended to endure beyond the next five minutes. He is the Snapchat of posters.

Boydy — He doesn’t believe half the crap he comes out with. He seems to have massive expectations of life, which means he gets annoyed with whatever situation he's in and wants to move to another one. It’s better to expect sod all.

Byron — I have a problem distinguishing Byron the poster from Byron the happy hammer, because as we know, all the latter ever do is click their heels, say 'cor blimey guvnor, gawd bless the Queen Mum' and try and sell you kites, and Byron doesn’t do any of that, so it always comes as a surprise when he doesn't in fact support Norwich. Nevertheless, he's a solid contributor whose refusal to refer to Mrs Byron as anything other than his 'partner' doesn’t grate as much as it might. Unless he's gay, in which case I’ll start digging now.

Captain Trips — Rubbish and American, which is so much worse than just being rubbish.

chaodck — Probably moving into the 'best foreigner' category now. In fact, did he win it at the awards, or was that best newbie? Still, he does have a bit of an issue with not following the train of conversation sometimes.

Charlie — I am so far removed from his outlook on life that I can’t comprehend it, nor reliably comment upon it. If he's happy-go-lucky, that makes me sad-stay-unfortunate, so perhaps he is the winner.

Chinny Hill — Probably one of the few truly honest posters on here. Says what he thinks, which has become an underrated quality in these days of clever-clever shite (like this list). Occasionally logs on after having a few and forgets his brain, but we can forgive him that.

CJ — Good poster but I reckon he’s unwittingly prejudiced against black footballers. Never seen him rate one.

Corduroy — Best one liners on the board now that Wullie has gone into semi-retirement. His attitude to life reflects south London well too, and I like south London, a lot. If the tube went to Catford and Deptford he'd be richer, happier, and nowhere near as interesting. That really is a patronising sentence. Oh well. That's what I'm here for.

Danny — Tend not to notice him too much, but good, solid background noise.

Dark Soldier — Not around anymore, other than in the Film Thread, which I don’t read.

Davgooner — I can never quite get a grip on Dave’s position in life. Hates yuppies, hates teachers, and hates UKIP. On paper that should put him in the 'true blue' portion of the Venn diagram, but I’m not sure it does. He seems to have carved out his own niche. He is a key part of the board. In fact he’s probably a key part of the country.

Demerit — Could be better if he posted more.

diljeet — I don’t even know anymore. I suppose he is here to remind us how great we all are in comparison to the internet's Great Unwashed, its Plebeians, in the classical rather than the Lewisian sense.

Dj_Luca — It’s quite amazing that he has even the typical five minutes a month for us, when you think about it.

eltharion_doa — Only pops in these days, but usually smacks down people on the economy when he does, so it’s worth the air fare.

Fandan — A case study for Theresa May in how graduate police officers can bore everyone senseless posting about their financial arrangements and lunch.

Five Time — Very pro-Liverpool, though not so much as the under-noted Revil, who would sooner wring a chicken’s neck and leave it down a side street than admit anything less than moral perfection from his favourite boys in red.

Foe — Seems not to post much anymore aside from angsty stuff in the jobs thread about having too much money but, due to living in the cultural and human wasteland that is Aberdeen, nothing to spend it on. I think he bought me a pint during the Meet, so that was a good start on the road to resolving his problem.

FrancisWalsh — We need to film an Irish version of one of those 'Happy' videos, featuring Giggles here dancing on a tractor with a potato in his mouth, Boydy jigging with a tricolour in front of disapproving parents, Pavel jiving with a quirky hat in a dole queue, and so forth.

Fry Crayola — I wouldn't call up Fry for the above, however, because he’d actually want to be in it.

Hammerstein — Has a slightly bizarre style of posting that veers between the entertaining and lunatic. If Elton John was a puffin, would he score goals in space? I think we should be told. Means well, so all power to him.

Harold Bishop — It confounds me that somebody as stupid as this has seemingly made it through more than 30 years of human life without being recommended to the authorities. He reminds me of my dog, in that if anyone talks to him he doesn't know what they’re actually saying to him, but instead just sits there hoping for the same game, or food, that it's had every day for the last ten years. The ideal is that they throw him a biscuit marked DOG, although of course because he’s so thick he reads it the wrong way up as GOD and so begins yet another thread of ignorant total bollocks. The main difference, I suppose, is that I don’t want to cave my dog's head in with a rusty spade.

Henry — He's always good value on certain topics, though occasionally wades into other threads where he’s hopelessly out of touch. Probably winding down as a poster now.

hydrocephalus — I prefer this account to the original James, as the username takes away the idiot teenager connotations that haunted the old brand and repositions him with Bernanke and other mysteriously laconic suave types.

Ian — Ian I think came to cricket late in life, which is a good thing as it meant he never had to watch the likes of Ed Giddins bowl for England, or live through the 2001 Ashes. However, on the other hand it means that today's shambles must be even more crushing for him. On balance I’ll stick with Giddins, Schofield, Dalrymple and the rest of the crew. Those were special times. Ian is a good poster. Very good, actually.

ItalAussie — Still thinks he’s right about everything (although don't we all), still preaches from his ivory tower in Oxbridge Massachussetts, etc etc but he’s really a nice guy and a good poster who adds a lot to plenty of discussions. There are people for me to get more wound up about nowadays. I still think academics need more perspective, but then not having perspective is kind of what they do.

John — Not around much. Was great at his peak. Does the admin stuff well.

John_Arne — Is probably better than he used to be. I can't really say why.

Kikó — Met him a few months back, was very pleasant and just as attractive as they say. On here, lurches between wryly amusing posts, serious bizness bitterness and y-ny-tid ITK, which works I suppose. Probably in the top ten posters when all's said and done, which, by this point, it probably is.

kizmarlo — Good addition to TTH in recent times. He's been around FM for a while but it’s always nice to see people come over here and slot in easily without being dense for six months and hounded out by the big beasts. Also isn't a frothing-at-the-mouth Leninist, which is always a nice bonus.

Laurent Robert — Seems almost afraid of posting on here nowadays. He could just be busy, I suppose, but I'm sure I see him lurking here, there and everywhere. Maybe he had to sacrifice his keyboard for use as a dinner table.

LeeCovFox — I think I put him third in the best poster voting last time round, after permanent top two Lewis and Yevrah, and he is that good these days. Interesting on almost any subject, never strays into topics where he isn't comfortable or authoritative, and more importantly, always strays into topics where he is. He also has that occasional edge to him which all the best posters need just to keep it fresh, given that we've all been chatting away on here to a relatively small pool of users for in some cases over a decade now. Also one of the few posters who is always able to see the points of view of others, and to disassociate the discussion at hand from his own personal opinions.

Lewis — If early period Lewis was all about lolling at people and being racist, and early middle Lewis moved more into smashing everyone on politics and history while indulging in the occasional wobble, middle period Lewis is probably just about getting underway and seems to feature a lot more rugby league and moderate political views. Maybe that means he's a) pining for the north or b) going soft, or both. It happens in old age. He is still the best poster with a monstrous, gaping, Cherie Blair’s mouth-sized chasm to the next one.

Lofty — Has seemed to abandon his previous persona as the most disgusting human being ever to walk the earth, in favour of reciting the lyrics to this (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KdOCWUgwiWs) every day. I can only assume that a customer called him an overpaid shit or something, so he went militant. Either way, be glad you're not doing your job in London. You'll get 200 times more abuse, from people 200 times as well paid.

Luke Emia — I met a guy recently who had a hip replaced at 32 and he is a seriously annoying wanker, so be happy that you aren’t one of those.

m1j1browning — 'You don’t get me I’m part of the union…' sorry, just enjoying the song from 2 entries above. Browning does a job, largely in werewolf games, and in representing the people's soviet of Milton Keynes Dons supporters (MK is overrepresented on here, fuck off back to your concrete jungle and leave us in peace). Congratulations.

Mahow — Now posts in the style of an elderly woman telling bored, teenaged garden centre staff about the progress of her vegetable plot, which is a pity really as for a time he was quite good. I imagine he's better off in life now, though, which is the main thing. Or is it?

manc sean — Such a brilliant caricature.

Max Power — Very good on cricket and football. Don' really notice him anywhere else. It can’t just be us that see through the ECB, right?

Mellin — Shame he doesn't post much anymore, but he’s probably busy 'running' Birmingham from the back of an old warehouse, or one of those garage units they used to hide the bounty in A Fish Called Wanda. Your city is doomed. Save up and move to Redditch, or Stourbridge.

mert — Covered this before. He’s worse than ever.

mf_phonics — There's only one reason why a Brit kid would end up in Switzerland, which is that one or both parents took a job with an international institution of some kind, complete with putting the kid in question through some god awful international school where everyone talks in ghastly mid-Atlantic accents and finish their education having no idea who they are or why they exist (see entry above). With that in mind, phonics’s bitterness about the UK is quite unbecoming. It isn't your fault, I suppose, if your parents ripped you from a proper country and took you to spend your adolescence in a miserable tax haven, but you don’t have to take it out on us. I suppose his contempt for anything to the right of Deng Xiaoping comes from the fact that its philosophy involves things not being put on a plate for people as a matter of course, a privilege only really, in the history of the world, available in small, Nazi gold-funded central European federal democracies. The next Josef Fritzl, by the way, will be Swiss. Just wait for that.

Multi — Underneath he’s a roly-poly friendly geek, however because he’s an eastern immigrant (by family links, at least) to one of the above mentioned democracies he has had to overcome the necessity to act the hard man, and been weighed down by all the stupid angled caps and fake gold that goes with that identity. He’s weathered that pretty well and over time will presumably become a thoroughly respectable human being, if not save the world.

nickfootie5 — When both teams score, it's goals galore. Fuck off, Fred. Anyway, nick is as understatedly good as ever. There’s a reasonable chance he may have electricity back by now, although in truth the main surprise that came out of the flooding season for me was that Godalming had electricity in the first place.

niko_cee — Is quality in his own, slightly snarky way. He’s also the master of the three line post with one of the three lines being a smiley. If you have a formula that works, stick to it.

Offshore Toon — Only posts to tell us about his real life (and no doubt about hip to the hop etc which I don’t read), so I’m not sure what he’s getting out of the deal. Not a lot, probably. Like most of us.

Panda Bear — Not around of late. Pity. Despite being unreadably annoying, he adds plenty.

Pen — Pen also adds plenty, should post more etc etc. Being back in Finland is going to limit what he can do on here, in the same way that being in Finland limits anything that anyone there can do in any sphere of life. Mika Hakkinen never won the Finnish Grand Prix, because there wasn't one. Jean Sibelius never… you get the (snow) drift.

Pepe — Although Lewis's list went endearingly overboard with its Pepe love, Tex-Mex Mendoza has grown on me a lot in the last year or two. He likes his motor racing, which is a good sign of taste, and even agreed to try cricket which not only shows the sort of open-mindedness lacking in so many of his compatriots. He provides nice little one liners on football, which are always welcome, and we have a lol together at Marco whatsisface Rodríguez every three months so that’s nice. Our next lol is due at his first World Cup match.

Raoul Duke — Solid individual. I can't be bothered with all his iPads and that, but it’s nice to know he’s helping to waste people’s time in a much more efficient way than was previously possible. If you read this, can you please tell English people in the 'tech' sector to stop pronouncing mobile as 'moble'. It isn't pronounced like that unless you're American, and nothing short of death must be the penalty for thinking otherwise, and yet it seems to be creeping in.

Regista — Quite good on football. Him and niko having a dust up in a football thread recently was quite funny because it was so unlikely. Like the weather man suddenly calling Huw Edwards a cunt on the news.

Rocchi — I find it very hard to distinguish him from Regista, as they both start with R, have a blue clad man in their avatar, turned up at the same time, and post about the same topics. By the next one of these I'm sure I'll have managed it.

ScousePig — Posts rarely now. When he does, why so serious?

sergeantdisco — Should post more etc etc. I'm sure I always say this, and yet he never does. Great in the F1 thread.

Serpent Gazeux — Most TTHers who I have met, and there have been a few now, have been better than I expected. GS, however, was an exception to this in that he was exactly as I expected. Ulster accent machine gunning things at you in a determined yet understatedly amusing way, understandable exasperation with everything around him, but underneath it all just a pleasant 'bloke'. Bloke is definitely not the word, as ‘blokes’ raise their eyebrows and puff their cheeks at Page 3 and ask other ‘blokes’ what they’re driving these days, neither of which GS does. But ‘young man’ makes me sound like a predator, 'geezer' makes me sound working class and ‘man’ makes him sound 40, so ‘bloke’ it is.

Shindig — He is like one of those incredibly long running TV programmes that is such a part of the furniture that you forget it's even there, and fail to apportion credit accordingly. Like Bargain Hunt. If they cancelled Bargain Hunt, would you, regardless of ever watching it or not, be upset? I would be.

Simon. — He's better now than he was a year ago. More mature, probably, though clearly still not mature enough not to abandon online poker. I can't think of much else to say. Sorry. You're fine.

SincereTheRebel — I like Sincere. He doesn't have a bad word to say about anyone; or rather if he does, I don't mind because it’s written in slang that I don’t understand. He contributes well in a number of areas and, how can I put this, adds a different flavour to proceedings.

Smiff — Some of the shit he gets is unwarranted, as what I think is happening is that he's dumping on us and not necessarily expecting anything in return. However, if he is expecting things in return then I take that back. I find it quite tedious a lot of the time, but that’s mainly because I've seen the same cycle seven or eight or nine times before.

Snapman — Quite funny, as people are saying. Funniest is pushing it.

Snazz — All he does is rate posters, right? Is he the ghost of Christmas past?

Spoonsky — If I were one of Spoonsky's classmates, I'd probably find him an irritating little shit. There I would be, sitting minding my own business in the canteen with my plate of cheeseburger macaroni and fries, reading my copy of Ignorance Monthly, and Spoonsky would sidle over offering to share with me some sort of green soup his mother had made him bring along. 'I don’t care, you jerk', I would say, because as an American my vocabulary would be deeply limited, 'go and bore someone else'. On here, however, he works well. He massively struggles with our cultural references, as you would if you were from fucking Utah, where culture is something that happens only to other people. Given all that, he makes a very good stab at TTH and we love him for it.

SvN — It's been good to see him have to put up with a shit United year, as during the good ones I found him unbearable. Much better now, but no doubt ready for another spunkathon on van Gaal.

Taz — This is the last entry I’m doing because, despite scanning over his name several times, I couldn't come up with a hook, an ‘in’ or an overarching narrative upon which to lean. I can only conclude that we’re now all so familiar with his act, if that’s what it is, that it doesn't even need commenting on. It is richly entertaining and always enjoyable to read (unless one strongly disagrees, in which case it strongly irritates, which in a forum context is a lot better than numbness). So well done Taz, and keep up the good work.

The Merse — Displays the amazing tendency of anyone connected with Scotland to talk exclusively, and at length, about Scotland (or Scottish rugby, in his case). I'm guessing he doesn't have the Scottish mouth, which, if so, is to his credit.

7om — Knows about America. Well done. Come back, and you’ll find Britain is now fucking shit but, you know, somehow, it just works. We don’t have the BRITISH DREAM to fulfil. We don't have founding fathers to look up to and a constitution to stick to, and we don't have this fixed, unchanging idea of what the country should be. We just muddle through, and if the beer barrel runs dry then instead of filing a lawsuit or shooting 25 children dead, we just drink something else instead.

Toby — Embarking on a career in marketing is always a dangerous life move (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gDW_Hj2K0wo&feature=kp), and so it has proved for Toby. Where once he would merrily crack jokes with gay abandon, now he goes looking for properly referenced posts about Scotland-related issues. *adopts Ken Bruce voice* And now, my dears, it's time for Popmaster. Who had a hit in the 1970s with In the Summertime? Come on, come on, time’s running out… no, I'm afraid it wasn’t Mungo Jerry, it was Gregor McLeod and the Beasties, from their fully costed album 'The Oil Don’t Drill Itself'. No points for you, and twenty votes for the SNP.

Townsend —There’s an entertaining way of being rude, and Townsend doesn't have it. It is to be hoped he returns to his previous self soon.

Trancemeister — Lineups; scores, updates, smileys, frustration; rage, Sweden, job; Ikea, Volvo; gimp mask.

Vim — Nice kid. I like him.

Waffelz — As above, but with the handicap of being Scottish, which brings with it stupid dialect, an obsession with Scottish things and a need to broadcast those to non-Scots, and bitterness.

Weaver — Is Weaver the one who's ridiculously bitter and tries to turn everything into a London media conspiracy against Newcastle United? It isn't, it’s someone else, but I'm going to turn this into his entry. Listen here, sunshine (something you won’t have seen for some years), the north east just doesn't register in London. There isn't a conspiracy. Nobody ever thinks about Newcastle except when they appear for three minutes towards the end of Match of the Day. Even when they roll into town for an away match they barely register as another inevitable 3-0 defeat follows. Your region has nothing going for it; no culture, no industry, no hope. There is no conspiracy. We, the London media, do not care about you.

Wullie — Has now gone to the posting equivalent of Major League Soccer.

Yevrah — He has more or less everything that is required of a top quality forum poster. Develops relationships with the regulars, without it ever becoming cliquey or ignoring newer posters; smashes the shit out of serious topics while also joking about others; talks complete sense and complete bollocks, often at the same time, because it's not always what you say on boards like this, it's the way that you say it. I always go out of my way to read any of his posts, even on topics in which I have no interest, because there's always the chance of another triple cunted hooker line or another one of those belly laughs that only Yev really comes up with. So as not to be too gushing, a lot of what he says contradicts what he does/is (particularly on football) but frankly, my dear, I don’t give a damn.

Zimidy — I can only hope there's a side to him we never see.



Ian -


My lists are always a bit dull and I'm too lazy to proof-read so many words for typos so it'll be full of those.

adamski —I've managed to not form an opinion either way about adamski. Not sure if that says more about me. It probably does. I'm aware of who he is and I don't dislike him or skim his posts so I guess he's gone straight into the "Alright but can't think of much else to say" category.

Adramelch — I don't think I've had anything new to say about Adra since the first one of these I did. He's a constant, solid 7.5/10 sort of a poster and anything else will just be repeating my previous entries on him.

AE — Football stuff aside I don't think AE has ever been that regular a poster in my time here. Or not in the same threads as me anyway.

Alan Shearer The 2nd — Good poster, is Alan. Not one who would be desperately missed if he were to disappear from the board but he's part of a group who make it better on the whole. Which is probably a contradiction but never mind.

Andy — Posters who predominantly stick to football and specifically about their own club (generally) are good to have about, especially for the 'smaller' clubs and when they're not shit-flinging mentalists. Seems a nice, down to earth guy.

Apples — I don't know why but I always had it in my mind that Apples was 20-odd so to discover he's not far off my age and getting married was a surprise for some reason. Still, he always seems a decent enough fellow so it's nice to see things are ticking along nicely for him.

Benny — Still one of my favourites, though the Blackburn/Tottenham thing was a bit of a shock and slightly disappointing for some reason. I'm not sure why that should be but there it is. I dunno when the last time was he did anything photoshop/gif/Lofty-related but fortunately he's a quality japester even when he's not gazing lovingly at that rollercoaster picture.

Byron — His transition to more regular TTH posting has been pretty seamless to the point that he's now very much part of the furniture. But not in the backhanded way that kind of sounds.

Captain Trips — I've made my thoughts on this clear previously, including in this thread. Not sure why he'd have us believe he's so dense that he doesn't notice/remember who any members are or what the point of doing that is. Most of the time he's a solid enough TTHer these days.

chaodck — People turning up and being good posters right away? Check. Neither being a "character" or a tedious lunatic? Check. Posting across a range of threads? Check. I'm not entirely convinced he isn't a plant from some Chilean government scheme to get a presence of good eggs online to boost the country's image or something. Or maybe he's a secret psychopath. Until I learn otherwise I guess I'll just have to keep him pegged as a bloody nice guy.

Charlie — It's a bit odd that he's sort of becoming/become a sex worker but as long as he doesn't end up tugging off businessmen in cockroach-riddled B&Bs it could be worse. When he's not going off the deep-end he's pretty sound.

Chinny Hill — An utter bore on occasion but I sort of surprised myself when I got to him in the list by realising I mostly quite like Chinny these days. I don't think I agree with stuff he posts that often but that's not really important.

Chrissy — If not for this thread I'd might never have known that Chrissy shat the bed, so this would otherwise have been a bit of a try-to-find-something-interesting-to-say entry which ended in saying he seems alright. Which he does but fucking hell, he shat the bed.

CJ — I said last time out that CJ was about midway between GS and Taz on the Liverpool-o-meter. He's definitely taken a swing toward the Taz end of things, either as a response to Liverpool's season or as part of the anti-GS/pessimism element of the Liverpool mob. He's a fairly balanced individual on the whole though and a laugh in haxball chat.

Corduroy — Swings wildly between regular contribution and part-timing. Which is a shame because he's good everywhere he posts when he can be bothered. I think two people have said in here that he and I would make for an amusing sitcom but the truth is weekly half-hour installments of me and Cord sitting watching 80s action movies (and reciting all the one-liners with perfect timing) probably wouldn't be all that entertaining.

Dark Soldier — It's a while since he's done any writing-y things on here which is a shame. Even though they rarely got finished they were always a laugh and were proof that for all he might seem like he's almost a part-timer and just delivers drive-by lols he clearly gets the board and has most people sussed out. I can see where Spoonsky's coming from in his entry for DS but I think it's a misunderstanding. I think he just doesn't see the need to make a post of 'substance' if it's just going to cover the same ground others will. Which is fair enough.

Davgooner — Was never the most prolific but he seems to bother even less these days. Still manages to be good while barely posting more than about 20 words at a time, mind, which is no mean feat.

eltharion_doa — A quality part-timer. I don't know that I see him much outside sports threads.

Fandan — If there was a TTH Scotland meet I could at least turn up (if I didn't BOTTLE it) safe in the knowledge that Fandan wouldn't be lolling at me for my wankiness when it comes to beer.

Five Time — Became more active this season or is that my imagination? Maybe it's because Liverpool have been an actual big story this year (rather than a Somehow About Liverpool big story) that I've noticed some of their fans on here a bit more. Either way, it's welcome. He's a good poster.

Foe — Me and Foe are very different indeed but he seems a nice guy. I don't seem to see him about TTH recently. Has he been less active or am I just posting in the same threads less than him?

FrancisWalsh — Seems to have made quite a lot of changes for the better in his personal life which is good. When he was just the guy who got hammered alone in the dark all the time his day to day existence sounded incredibly grim. His attitude to Spurs makes GS look like Taz but he's good to have in the football discissions on here.

Fry Crayola — I like Fry. Not when he's atop his soap box, hurling nuggets of morality at anybody who'll listen, but the rest of the time. He also gave me a free copy of his game in return for me helping him to test it. Which I barely did, because I'm a terrible ungrateful human being.

Hammerstein — He seems to be a slightly divisive figure but I think he's good for the board. Starts a lot of threads, of mixed quality no doubt, but they're usually good for a page or two of discussion and you need that to keep things ticking over.

Harold Bishop — It'd be easy for me to repeat what others have said and what I've said in the past so I'll add that since my last list I've found Harold being, at least on occasion, a bit more likely to ditch the relentless superiority/e-victories schtick and just post like a normal person. Man loves a pun too, can't knock that.

Henry — Still worth a read even if he's another who just doesn't bother that much.

Ian - Clearly a bit of a hero given what a point of reference he's become for the (Five time! Five time! etc.) best poster when talking about other TTHers

ItalAussie — Science!

Jimmy Floyd — I'm not sure what more needs to be said. Floyd is superb and, like Lewis, what really sets him aside is the consistency. Not just in quality of posting but in his temperament. Other than the occasional, and slight, wobble over Chelsea-related stuff you always know what you're going to get with Jimmy's posts. In a good way like, I make that sound like he's predictable.

John — John isn't launching into people so much any more, which I welcome. Unfortunately he's just not posting as much, which I don't. I wasn't a huge fan of him tearing into folk as much as he seemed to be for a while but it was better than him just being here less. That said, some of the Scottish football posters on here are extremely tedious when the subject of Rangers comes up so on that front it might not be a bad thing.

Kikó — I haven't been paying attention to the actual outcomes of United stuff he's been going ITKiko on so I've no idea if he's just making shit up or not. He's been on top form recently anyway. Seems a top bloke as well.

kizmarlo — A bit touchy sometimes and does sometimes veer into those rants which he then has to go "I was only joking! Aha!" afterwards but I like Kiz all the same and he offers a bit across the board. Also seemed to cop some unnecessary flak for actually caring quite a bit when his team got relegated which was odd.

Laurent Robert — Some aspects of his life seem unspeakably depressing but he's still a cheery chap. News of him being a good laugh when meeting other TTHers was not a surprise at all.

LeeCovFox — Some people in the football threads change depending on the fortunes of their team so I'll be interested to see if that happens with Lee now that Pearson's boys are back in the Best league In The World. As has already been said he's one of the top posters on here. Of those who'll make lengthy posts about a given subject of debate he's one of the few I don't roll my eyes halfway through and skip to the next post. Top man.

LeedsRevolution — Has got better both at TTHing and Haxball. And not being such a loon. I don't know if I've missed something in the personal stuff-threads that's prompted this but it's welcome.

Lewis — The Hillsbrough stuff has largely been ditched and his football posting is much better for that as he's witty enough to get on just fine without it. I'd be interested to know whether his two turds came from votes by the same people or if there are two seperate groups who think he's rubbish but in very different ways. Both sides are wrong, sure, but it'd be interesting to know.

Lofty — Lofty manages to span the gap between LAD and nerd without either seeming forced, which is unusual. I can't think of much more to say without repeating stuff that's been said before because I think GS pretty much nailed it. When it's been discussed in the NFL thread who's going to which Wembley games I've thought that a meet with Lofty would probably be a good laugh but I don't know if I'm secretly curious as to just how much of a giant he really is in real life.

m1j1browning — Got himself into a bit of a frenzy about 18 months ago for the Wimbledon/MK Dons game and then went back to just being a guy on TTH. Which I don't mean as a criticism. He's a good poster across a few subjects but I think that's the only time I've seen him get geed up about much. And get rid of the m1j1, man.

Magic — Is definitely a much mellower soul in this latest return. Whether that's the effect of being a dad, getting older, the former being something of an act or a combination of all three I'm not sure. It makes him a bit less entertaining but he seems happy enough so fair play. Are you still finding yourself beset by weirdos in public?

Mahow — Another who seems to be making the effect to change his life for the better, which is good. I'd like to think he saw Andy Murray winning a slam, having spent ages saying how rubbish he was, and thought "If that dour, Scots shithouse can succeed then so can I." It'd make it sort of poetic or something. Good lad. He's going to be an absolute ballache throughout the World Cup.

MartinSAFC — I think I basically consider him to be much the same as Andy. Which is no bad thing, but does make this entry particularly dull.

Max Power — Leicester are going to be very well represented in the football threads next year. One of my favourite sport posters, is Max.

Mellin — It's a bit selfish of him to have a life and not enough time to spend here as the accetable face of Villa fandom. TTH would be much improved if he became a regular again and didn't just post/play haxball when he's shitting or avoiding his missus.

mert — Yep.

mf_phonics — Last time out I said this about Phonics: "Once every tenth post or so he'll post something funny or well-reasoned. Then he goes back to wind-ups and obnoxiousness and I groan." I'd say that's still pretty much the same but the obnoxiousness is now less often. Or I've got used to it. I don't know. His moods change so wildly that it wouldn't surprise me if he ended up as one of those people who commits some hideous crime and then, apparently genuinely, can't remember doing it.

Multi — I didn't even write about him in my last list so either I was being a dick or he's become a more prominent member. He's pretty good anyway.

nickfootie5 — Should post more because he's quite funny when he's not torturing moths with household cleaning products.

niko_cee — Another in the second tier of posters behind Jimmy and Lewis and he's good pretty much everywhere. In terms of posts on the subject of Liverpool he's probably my favourite on the board. A good balance between the orgasmic exuberance of Taz and the pessimism-turned-uneasy-satisfaction of GS.

Offshore Toon — As a casual observer rather than active participant (that sounded way creepier than I intended) I can't say I've particularly missed his input where he can come across as a pit of an arse but elsewhere it's a shame he's not been about. From football discussion to the (usually ace) threads he started himself he was a solid, all-round presence when he was a regular.

P_3 — Chips in around the board without kicking up a fuss. A good egg.

Palmer — Seems to spend what time he spends here in a few threads these days and not ones I'm in as often unless I've just not been paying attention. Learning it was "Palmer's Ears" blew my damn mind.

Panda Bear — Needs to post more. Is a bit of a bore on occasion but is generally pretty good when he turns up.

Pen — Cracking poster, one of the best foreigners, seems like he was popular with TTHers he met and something about football kits.

Pepe — I've grown to appreciate Pepe more since the last one of these, I think. Which is about all I have to say and is a pretty shit conclusion to come to but there it is. Pepe's ace.

Pleb — Barely notice him outside Haxball. In Haxball he's excellent. Not AT the game you understand, just good comedy value.

Randomlegend — Good poster and seems a likeable guy. He should try and arrange for his lunatic brother and Lewis to meet, that'd be a laugh.

Raoul Duke — Funnier than he gets credit for and is generally a solid poster in any thread he goes into. Top fella.

Regista — He's really carved out the weekend and midweek football threads as his own, hasn't he? About time somebody. For that he deserves all of our gratitude.

ScousePig — One of the top football contributors on the board. I'm not having Lewis trying to get me and Scouse "fueding." Let's be honest, he's too nice and I'm too boring for any sort of feud to be anything other than pitiful anyway.

sergeantdisco — One more in the "should post more" bracket.

Serpent Gazeux — There's a short but clear gap between him and the Big Two but a he's clearly ahead of the best of the rest as well. Doesn't care about TTH in quite the same way that Lewis, say, does but he obviously does give a shit. He wouldn't put up with the horror of running the werewolf games for a start. There are better ways to scratch a writing itch than that. Clearly struggled a bit with Liverpool, Rodgers and Sturridge doing so well and it's hard to imagine he won't alienate the rest of the Scouse mob with a pointed "I told you so" here or there if and when they fall away again but still, he seemed to just about get to grips with it by the end.

Shindig — Cracking poster. No more needs saying. (I can't think of anything more.)

Simon. — Seems to cop a bit of unwarranted abuse but at least an element of that is probably because he tends to rise to the bait. He shouldn't because he's a nice guy most of the time. Needs to pull his finger out and sort out the OP of this thread, mind.

SincereTheRebel — I said before that I thought there was a 40% chance of him being a serial killer. He's a slightly better poster now and I'm prepared to lower that to 30, maybe 25%. Hopefully that isn't just what he wants me to think.

Smiff — Liverpool and Manchester United's respective fortunes haven't exactly brought out Smiffy's best side and he's been bordering on lunacy at times but I gather much of this is a reflection of how his actual life is going. Which sounds turbulent to say the least, so hopefully he gets it sorted and can be a slightly less unhinged poster on here into the bargain.

Spoonsky — I like Spoonsky but he doesn't half give off signals that he may potentially turn into a bell-end at times. He's a properly good poster, likes TTH and in real life probably has the potential to go far if he wants to. But every time he moans about the people he knows being shit generally displaying the hallmarks of a proto-mert I can't help but hope it's something he's going to grow out of.

SvN — Good poster. Not in any way I can define, though he used to have these odd outbursts over next to nothing at times and I can't remember the last one of them so I guess he's improved too.

Taz — I've gone from being undecided about Taz because he's sometimes a bit of a tit, whereas now I'm a bit of a convert. In spite of him sometimes being a bit of a tit. He's good crack in haxball chat when he plays too because he isn't quite so heavily 'in character' in there. Hopefully Iran do well enough in the coming weeks that the whole thing isn't a massive disappointment for him but don't overachieve to the point that he becomes to the World Cup threads what he is to the other football threads when Liverpool have a notable result.

The Merse — I like Merse. I'm hoping he'll get some info from his mate Cesc where he's going to be heading this summer since Barcelona seem happy to get rid.

7om — Tom's quality. He was the best newbie by a considerable margin and is already better than a good chunk of other posters. He seemed to fit in pretty much immediately and hasn't gone weird, developed some irritating gimmick or starting act the cunt about things. Keep it up.

Toby — I imagine it's a minority that thinks it's a shame Toby posts less at the moment, but I'd be part of it.

Townsend — Not sure what his current 'thing' is all about and his "I just don't give a shit now" explanation doesn't really ring true. He's still a likeable fellow in haxball chat so hopefully he sacks off the new persona pronto.

Vim — His uniquely terrible internet means I don't see him via haxball chat any more so most of what I see of him now is posting about Italian football.

Waffelz — Positives: He's not just trying to be Taz-lite any more, he doesn't descend into dickheadering for days at a time any more and as much as he's oblivious to the wider board's total disinterest in the minutae of day-to-day Dundee United chat he clearly just fucking loves his football. Negatives: He has really odd, strangely passionate dislikes for things you can't quite fathom a reason for him to feel passionately about either way and the complete opposite for other things. I suppose some of that is just age and given time he'll settle down a bit and not feel everything has to be either fucking amazing or fucking terrible. He's a good guy to have about the board anyway but I still hope that'll happen in time.

Weaver — Since Regista usurped him as the main football thread-starter I've noticed him more elsewhere. Which is a good thing, he's a good poster.

Wullie — A part-timer but that doesn't stop him being good. Every so often he'll drop a post which shows the old magic is still there.

Yevrah — Much as most of the Moyes stuff became a repetetive snoozefest, his openness about the "Watches" which haven't gone his way have given me a greater appreciation for Yev. Most people try to quietly move on when they get it wrong so fairly play to him. A key member of the board and there's not much else can be said. Keep fighting the good(ish) fight, Yev.

Zimidy — Increasingly a bore. Still good occasionally and he's clearly not the idiot he posts in the manner of sometimes but all does is slag off Liverpool and deride/big up Villa (depending on his mood) the rest of the time.

[Samadini]

Smiff (part one) -


2010 seems to be the last time I completed one of these and so I've decided instead to see how much my opinion has changed. Italics for confusion. :checkit:

Adramelch

Starting off with Andramelch, I quickly establish that he's a moderater in the FM section. But then I knew that already since he PM'd me just a few days ago. Clearly he's more comfortable talking about football as the first of his ten posts arrive in the 'Will Mourinho get the sack?' thread. Firstly, he shoots down Mahow for an idiotic comment suggesting Mourinho has no chance of winning the league. Adra is correct here for Real Madrid are just two points behind and well....to quote some red nosed twat, "Football....bloody hell." The next couple of posts show that he's still trying to stoop to Mahow's level and explain in great detail that Madrid are two points behind. Even showing that he's familar with foreign language and/or google translator.

Sadly for Adramelch, that was probably the highlight of his night yesterday as his luck with Benevento continues to nag at him. Personally, I find it funny. I love seeing a fellow FM'er get kicked in the balls.

With all this in mind, I'll give Adramelch a respectable 6 out of 10 and in time he'll learn that if member 'x' doesn't understand you the first time, trying to explain and explain is merely a waste of your time. You can't polish a turd, I'm afraid.

Quite clearly I didn't know you back then since it's evident to most on here that you do indeed add something. Since then you've shown yourself to be an intelligent chap who's relatively easy going and rather well liked by the majority. Your fine work in the werewolf threads is where I see you the most but I couldn't tell you which threads I'd most likely see you in anymore. Overall, you've improved sufficiently enough to become a good 7.5 out of 10. It may have taken four years but that's a decent rise.

AE

Well this isn't going to go very well, is it. 5,511 posts and if the last ten are anything to go by then you're fighting a losing battle. We start with a throwaway comment in this very thread where a) you actually answered MokBull and b) you abused the :D smiley. Then we move to the next post which mentions cock, then another post about cock in a different thread. Aren't you African? I thought you're all blessed with big cocks and bigger AIDS. MJ's cock might be bigger physically but three wasteful posts suggest you are THE bigger cock. To make matters worse, post four see's a poor attempt at humor by suggestion Xavi Alonso doesn't want to be relegated which is why he left Liverpool and as a result, you're overall rating is going to take another major hit.

I'm willing to let you off with the comment in the AC and Inter Milan Stadium thread because I never knew that either. For those who haven't seen it, Tommo has told how Inter shut down their 9th row in the Northeast block in trubute to Giuseppe Meazza.

Moving along, a picture of a Lion/Zebra stroke summit in 'The Zoo' thread is hardly adding to the board and since you posted in such a thread, I'm forced to give you another kick to the ratings based on past experience. I was offered to take my neice to Chester Zoo whilst I was with my cheating slut of an ex-girlfriend, Natalie. (Anyone remember that Indonesian whore?)....It wasn't because I was with her and had a baby to look after, it was more because the place was huge and I had expected to be home within two hours. Six hours + it took me, I'll never get those hours back.

You move on to 'The Weather' thread which bores me almost asmuch as people posting about the snow on their Facebook, then a comment about how the English have a fetish for the Asians. Safest bet tbf, can hardly pull an African Angel now can we....

It does get worse. You defend Chinny which is a complete no go then you attempt to massage Pokerface's cock by pretending you cared whether he'd killed himself. Sadly, your last ten posts are needless, boring and it's cost you. For this reason, I can give you only a 2 out of 10. You must improve and post to a better standard.

Who would of knew! The Third Half's main chance of sporting success lies in your hands and I'm almost embarrassed to see that I gave you a lowly 2 out of 10 but I said it as I saw it at the time. Even now bar your YouTube appearance (which I watched btw) I couldn't really say you were an asset to the forum other than when we ride your victory (and the gash that comes with it) you'll be remembered not for your posting skills, not for your footballing talents but because you helped even the likes of Foe get laid and that my friend, that is community camaraderie. You definitely aren't a 2 and so your rating as shot up considerably to a solid six out of ten with potential for further improvement.

AJ

AJ obviously likes sport. He seems to like his boxing too but I don't and whilst that should mean a hit in the overall rating, your comments in the Boxing thread were well thought out and showed you to be knowledgable and that'll bode well in your favour.

Keeping up a promising start, you're quick to praise Giuliano Grazioli. Sadly, I'm a Sky boy, I don't see outside the Premiership and thus I couldn't really care less about a lower league striker who's name isn't Neil Mellor.

Your nostalgic link in the same thread got me thinking about things. Given that it was the FA Cup thread I inevitably thought of Gerrard's screamer against West Ham but more specifically, Michael Owen's double in the Fa Cup final against Arsenal. Sadly for you, I hate the cunt and I love the cunt for obvious reasons. This irritated me sadly and affects your overall score but not entirely just because of that post, more so because you posted in the I'm A Celebrity thread which is just wrong. I too hate Christmas music, I hate it all the more since I'll be forced to listen to it day in day out sooner due to working in a pub. David Haye is too arrogant also and you're right, people will want to see him get sparked the fuck out eventually.

Adding up your last ten posts, you seem to be a relatively decent member of the forum. You don't seem to particate in useless banter and come across quite nice. I shall give you 6 out of 10 as a result. Well done.

Sorry AJ but as of right now six out of ten seems far too generous. Over the past four years it's fair to say you've not exactly set the place alight and I couldn't even be too sure if you even post at the moment which is also going to go against you. Minus the football I doubt we'd have much in common and so I want to take two points from you but I don't feel that's enough. A slightly harsh 3 out of 10, sir.


Al0n

I'm trying so hard to forget the things from the past but I'd be lying if I said your drink driving episode and you're love for Kitson aren't going to effect your score. I'm even hoping your last ten posts are good but I'm not going to hold my breath as we start at the Thanksgiving thread. I hate thanksgiving, I experienced one once whilst in Canada and it was the most god awful meal I can remember. I'd not long landed, I must have had jetlag and the thought of food repulsed me so much that I ended up going to toilet to vomit. Add into the fact that this was the first time I'd met that particular girls family, it was an embarrassing occasion.

I appreciate that you're a builder by trade, my little brother is also and if you work as hard as he does, you'll build your own place. As the saying goes, if you want something bad enough, you'll find a way. If not, you'll find an excuse.

I've ignored your comment in the WDYTOE thread as it's pointless and you were merely asking if people could see your picture. I have no idea what the picture was because I couldn't see it but that's probably for the best and I agree that nothing was lost by the Scottish referee strike, in fact, it was probably more entertaining than witnessing a full round of SPL fixtures.

YouTube thread bores me so negative marks there but like AE, you've gone and posted in the weather thread which means you need to be shot. Or more lightly, hit with a giant snowball with a rock sweetly secured inside it. It's weather. Give a fuck. Staying on with weather, Christmas 2010 you make a comment about Christmas being hot, I don't know who that was in response too but I agree. A hot christmas would suck ass and Richie wouldn't appreciated it either. I've actually got a vision in my mind as I type this that Richie is a midget version of WWE star Sheamus. Instead of shouting fella he'll shout Villa. Urgh.

And yes, Arsenal aren't going to win anything but that's cancelled out due to your stupid past form with another ginger cunt, ie, Kitson.

Overall, you didn't do as bad as expected. But you still didn't entertain me, you didn't make me want to read more of your posts and that's not a good thing. 4 out of 10 is a good score for you, much better than I'd expected you to get.

Well, well, well. It's a shame you were hounded out but what can you do. Rating removed but the above would probably have still stood. I can't get the Richie image to form again though because I don't know whether to imagine a living breathing ginge or a corpse.

Alan Shearer the 2nd

Poor timing sees you post far too much in the Driving thread. I have no interest. You also posted in the weather thread which is a double blow and then two throwaway posts in two locked threads completes the treble. You need one hell of a post to save you and you did it. Last of the Summer Wine. Awesome stuff but only boosts your score by around half a point. Thankfully, I'm generous to team spreadsheet and I'll be giving you a 3 out of 10. Infact, fuck it. You can have 4 out of 10 because there's no chance you're worse than Al0n. xx

There's no chance you're worse than Al0n but I'd struggle to say if you've improved any over time. THere's just nothing about you that makes me think "Oh Hello". You just seem to exist on the forum, popping up sporadically as I quickly scroll past whatever drivel you've posted. You can now be that 3 out of 10 since Al0n's been voided. Sorry petal.

Alex

Sorry Alex, this isn't going to go well. Far too many posts in the hip hop thread suggests you're musical preference is completely the opposite of mine and that's just fucked you over. To make matters worse, you prefer the Soprano's over The Wire. I loved The Wire. Admittedly I haven't watched a single episode of The Soprano's but that's beside the point. The Wire wins by default. You watch The Apprentice which is also wank and you tried to grass on Henry. Baz hating is fun and entertaining.

I'm afraid we're two completely different people and unlike AJ, I was arsed reading your comments about a music I have no taste in whatsoever. I do know you're a nice lad though so that'll boost you a tiny bit. 5 out of 10. You may deserve more, you may deserve less. You can settle with what you've got.

Not quite a five any more, Alex. Lower. Most of those who take a hit in their rating are those who I just don't remember. It's unfair because I have a really shit memory but my response to that is if you were good enough, I'd recall you. Others manage it but you're not one of them I'm afraid. I'm taking a point away from you and dishing out a 4 out of 10 but don't take it to heart. I did eventually take to The Apprentice but it's no Dragons Den.

Andy

Travel, football and clothes. Perhaps the brightest start so far. We'll delve deeper though my Southampton lovin' friend....read....read....read....yep. It's confirmed. You're knowledgable about football, your comments about Liverpool were spot on and your taste in clothes in decent enough. Add to what I already recall about you, you're getting a 6 out of 10. Average to some, but it'll no doubt be good enough for someone as consistant as yourself.

Improvement has been made or rather I've just enjoyed your consistency over the years. You've improved from a six for sure but only by the one. A 7 out of 10 rating is good for your sort, you won't pull up any trees, you'll excel from time to time or you'll just plod on and go through the motions although that could change once your team gets their spine ripped out and you venture into seethe territory.

angeldust

Uni and a whole load of language I just don't understand. Fortunately, I recall who you are and that'll benefit you greatly. You've long been a level headed member, you can mix it when needed and on occasions you can be relateively funny. As above, 6 out of 10. Your score is perhaps lower or higher based on my lack of dutch/belgium or whatever language you're chatting in Benelux.

I'm going to have to take a point away from you angel because you've not lived up to any perceived potential but equally you can be quite handy when we're rotating the tired legs of the squad. 5 out of 10 seems a poor mark and it is but I don't think of you as a poor poster, just one who isn't high on my list.

AnnoyingDevil

Sadly, your last ten posts haven't been about anything of use. Neither contructive, entertaining or through provoking although I have to admit, I did laugh at the thought of you working in Domino's, if you changed that to McDonalds then you'd have got a sympthy vote. Sadly, domino's is quite good, I recall many a stoned night where we've had to call them out and the delivery guy would just sit down and have a quick joint with us. Step it up slightly. 4 out of 10. (I'm sorry x)

God knows what's happening in your life but I don't notice you around still. You could post every single day however but it takes a lot to get me to notice a username and attach an image to that particular poster. 4 out of 10 does seem harsh now but I don't think you actually warrant an improved rating unless you venture down to North Wales.

Apples

FM man means you start well and most your other posts have come in this thread. Not really entertaining but not stupid either. Quite consistant. I'd delve further but I do not need to as I know you well enough to believe you're deserving of a 6 out of 10. Would have been 7 if you failed with Everton.

As above, your rating doesn't warrant an improvement but I'll be taking a point from you for the sole reason of implementing a stricter 1-10. You're a harmless little puppet but it depends on whoever is controlling your strings. 5 out of 10 these days.

Bamster

Your last ten posts aren't worthy of much and you should stay away from West Ham now you've actually won a game so much of what I say is now based on the past. I genuinely used to think you were a prick and I didn't really like you. I believe most of that may have been because a) I didn't give you enough time and b) because you called me up on things. These days though, I don't mind you. I think you're part of the furniture around here and although you wouldn't be missed if you left, I wouldn't like to see you leave. I think you're a good man and you can lay claim to the first 7 out of 10 rating. To better times.

Still a part of the furniture but not the 7 you were. I think if you rounded up a group of TTH regulars to paint a picture of you then it'll be of a hard working man who goes home and gets put in his place by his Mrs. For that reason I can see TTH or just online in general being your escape from being a mediocre man to Bad Boy Bamster. 6 out of 10 for you.

Baz

I had to manually search for members who had just two letters in the name, if memory serves me correct then you have to do that with three letters too and because I know your name, I'm really not interested in doing that. You're overrated, forever in your brothers shadow and you have a face that I'd love to crack open with a swift slap. I want to give you 0 out of 10 but I'm not sure how that'll work out when all the ratings are totalled up so I'm giving you a very generous 1 out of 10. Henry might be wrong on a lot of things but his hate for you is reasonable. You bore me more than a night in with my mrs and that's a terrible thing. Leave and don't come back. You drag the IQ of the forum down just by loggin in.

Seemingly he's cracking on with life and I'm not quite sure what you did to me to warrant the above nonsense. I'll reassess your rating and give you a four based on your past but overtime I expect it'll reduce again. Mike is, was and probably always will be the better brother so I imagine that other gimp of the threesome is your main rival when it comes to sibling rivalry.

Benny

Judging from his posts he's an easy going chap and doesn't take things overly serious. Upon reading about how he was greeted by a drunk homeless woman on his way home I couldn't help but think of how DS or Pabs would have handled that situation. If anyone other than Benny is reading this then I can imagine you've got a similar image in your mind. Perhaps an idea for a thread? Fuck the Photo comp. Who'd do the most damange? DS or Pabs? Comedy gold right there.

Nothing too interesting or something that's made me sit up and go 'wow' but decent enough Benny. I'll give you 5 out of 10 and hope to improve on that by time the next WDYTOE goes around. I'll be watching.

And watched I did. Benny has morphed into a very good member of the forum and a good barometer of that is to visualise if such a member would be missed if they went tomorrow and in your case that's a bonafide yes. 7.5 out of 10 is a good improvement from that of four years ago and I'm pretty sure the next one will see a further rating boost. Keep it up squire.

BoltonMassiv

I'm hoping your last ten posts show you in the right light as when you first joined I thought you were a bit of a mong. Thankfully, over time you've improved to such a standard that you're rating is at 4 already. Let's see if your recent form improves it....

You jammy bastard. Out of the ten posts just two were outside of the WDYTOE and Mugshot thread which suggests to me that you fancied a bit of ego massaging. Those who post most in such threads are usually the type who want to get noticed. Fortunately, you're little review on Italian cities was worth half a point and correctly assuming that Chinny is/was wrong gives you another half to push you up to five. Sadly, your 11th post is in the weather thread and as a result I've seriously considered removing that point but that'd put you back on par with Al0n. I think you're better than that so I'll begrudgingly leave it at 5 out of 10. Less galavanting in the egotistical threads in the next few days though please.

Funny how things change, isn't it. I'm hoping now that you are Charlie because I can't be too sure so we'll assume you are and if not you can ride on his little ego boost I'm about to dish out. Moving to Asia or wherever has obviously been a big step for you and one that has probably helped show us the real you. Your little stories are quality and to quote the legendary Ian Rush, it really does seem like you're living in a foreign country. Keep the stories coming and good luck for the future. 7 out of 10.

Boom Boom

Whatever happened here. He hasn't posted in a long time so quite how he's still on here is beyond me. It would seem he developed a bit of a gambling problem too. Not Taz levels, mind. I do/did like Boom Boom though, I even recall being Boom Boom for a short period and it was noted that he'd improved alot at the time. Such fun. If you're still alive, pop in and give us a wave, son. 4 out of 10 but that's mainly due to our sleepless encounters on FM.

What happened Boom? I don't know if he posts anymore or if he just pops back every once in a while but there's been no improvement. 2 out of 10 these days Boom but that's simply because I don't want to attach a lowly one to you at present. Bit of a rollercoaster member.

Boydy

Hang on a minute....Boydy's last ten posts have also come in the betting thread and he too hasn't been seen in quite some time. This leads me to one of two conclusions. He and Boom-Boom fell in love and decided that a life away from the t'internet was essential for their relationship to work or Boydy finally succeeded where I failed and ended his miserable emo-style life with a rusty razor. I hope either is true as the end result would see Boydy crack a smile. 5 out of 10.

Whatever is happening with Boydy I hope he's doing well. I'm not going to rate him just in case a low score sends him west.

Bulfin

Hmm. Is it the search function fucked or something? Bulfin hasn't posted for over a year and his last post was in the betting thread aswell. No point even reading his ten posts because I had no idea of him then nor do I have any idea of him now so I'm merely wasting time. 1 out of 10 just because 0 is too harsh.

Not even four years can help you score a better rating. You might be a really nice person Bulfin but the name isn't registering with me at present. I don't mind members who just float in the background, their like the support to the forums bigger hitters after all but it's nice when one breaks free from the masses and becomes a valued member. Free advice for you there, son.

Chinny Hill

OK. I think it may have spazzed out but we're back again. Sadly, it's not needed as I have nothing to add about this imbecile. Chinny...you're a joke, you add nothing and your threads, posts and attitude bore the living shit out of me. Maybe behind the mask you're a good guy and if so, you need to show TTH that because for far too long now you've been a pleb. If on the other hand the way you post is the way you live then a) you're the reason Britain is going down the shitter, b) your parents probably raised you on a councel estate and your next door neighbour, the guy in the netted vest who scratches his sack over a pack of 4 stella is probably your father. Improve or fuck off. I can't be arsed with shit stains such as yourself ruining the way the board used to be. People often say that TTH isn't as good as it used to be. I think by bringing back the fuckwit clause and ridding the place of arse bandits such as yourself would be a good place to start. You stupid fucking twat! Oh, and have a 2 out of 10. Mong.

Ha. Chinny, Chinny, Chinny. You obviously pissed me off at the time. For what it's worth, whether it be age, life or just a mixture of things, you're really not that bad and your say it as you see it mentality is a good attribute to have. I'll apologise for the above and have reassessed your rating to a six out of ten. I fucking hate Manchester though.

CJ

I truely can't be arsed searching for you but I have a vague idea about you. I'm giving you 5 out of 10 because the username is familar. I'm half tempted to remove one though because it's stopped me searching you. What is it with members and two letter names? Urgh.

CJ has proven to be a decent member of the forum and he's definitely not a five. Over time I've enjoyed his little additions to discussions, his football talk and his all round likability factor and for this reason I'm boosting you to 6.5 out of 10. I like you but there's still a spark that needs igniting.

Conte

I like you. I do. And looking at your last ten posts it's easy to see why. You like football and you like a bet. That's a good enough start to get my atention. I don't like the fact you listen to hip hop music and going back to your bets, I don't like the fact that you're a £2 sort of gambler. You need to earn our respect with a big bet. Nothing that'll ruin Christmas, just enough to make a dent/bulge in your wallet. For the best part you're a consistant member of thedugout and one who I feel can be underrated at times. 6 out of 10.

No improvement has been made and a six seems slightly too much as a result. I still don't recall you earning my kudos with a big bet but forget about it, stick to your £2 safety bets, it's a safer position to be in. 5 out of 10, Conte.

corduroy

You remind me slightly of angeldust. You're rather level headed and don't try too hard when posting. I was disappointed to see you like going to the zoo and that'll reflect badly after the next couple of words when I finally give you a rating. I haven't really noticed you a whole lot before but you seem to speak sense and that's why I'll give you a 5 out of 10 and hope to be a bit more observant in future and read more of your posts. I know....your life will not be complete until you get recognition from Smiffy. That probably goes for most on here too but they're too ashamed to admit it.

You got that recognition! I'm boosting you to a 7 out of 10 and informing you that I do like you and the above seems about right in that you still strike me as a level headed being.

Dantastic

Funny thing. I have a regular customer who's a Portsmouth fan and having to listen to him, I'm imagining you as him. You're a likeable fella and although I'd like to see you add a bit more to the forum, you're much better than quite a few in this list. If you get yourself to the Download Festival and providing I actually get to go, we'll meet up for a joint and a can of stella. You also need to get yourself in the journeyman thread. 6 out of 10.

Your WWE talk started boring me a while ago but not enough to see a reduction in your rating. 6 out of 10 seems fair although I wouldn't mind seeing you actively trying to improve what you offer here though.

Dark Soldier

I don't even need to view your past posts as you sort of know what to expect. You are one of my favourite posters on the forum and I'd love to spend a night or two inside you....r mind to see what you're truely about. I think the forum is a better place with you here and for that reason alone, you're going to get the best rating of the bunch thus far...8 out of 10. Let's be honest here, 9 out of 10 is reserved for elth and 10 out of 10 is going to SG but you can rest safe in the knowledge that your relationship with me is stable enough to warrant my attention and any love/suicidal hate messages you care to throw in my direction shall be warmly recieved.

SG is no longer that 10 out of 10 monster and nor is Elth but you sir are a top act. 9 out of 10 for you which is an improvement but forgetting the ratings, I'm just pleased for you that you've got a hold on things as you're a wonderful lad. I have a lot of respect for you and one day when we're both able we should lord it up somewhere. Top man.

Davgooner

Talking of suicide...you know what's coming. Back when I was a suicidal, password stealing, attention seeking wreck of a lad, Dav was there. He could quite easily have blocked me on MSN and had nothing to do but he showed some mild concern in what was a really tricky period of my eventful life. For that reason, I can have nothing bad to say about him. Although if I did have to then I'd say you've stalled a fair bit lately and you're not as good as you used to be but I'll put that down to the forum falling on hard times more than yourself. I want to give you an 8 out of 10 but I can't in good faith do so. Instead I'll give you a 7 out of 10 and my thanks for being such a good human being.

I can give you that eight now however, Dav. I think you have it within you to become a bigger influence on the forum and contribute a little less half heartedly as you sometimes do but a good solid member nonetheless and one we'd be worse off without. 8 out of 10.

delakingois

Your prettiness is seeping through, out from the dress, I took from you....so pretty. You are missed. 6 out of 10 until you get your ass back into gear and return on a regular basis.

Just come back fulltime you gimp. Absence makes the heart grow fonder apparently and I reckon a few of us would like to see your pretty little face again. 5 out of 10 although it should be less. Return to us, young one.

Diljeet

Aww, jeet. I have this customer who comes in every single Tuesday and spends about £60 on skittle bombs. He's a simple guy and he gets bullied a fair bit so I humour him and he's probably at home right now thinking I'm God. I'd like to do the same to you but you just can't do it online. You're a lovable little drowned rat. I think as you get older, smarter, wiser, you'll be a decent enough member. Then again, it wouldn't suprise me in the slightest if you're 30+ already. You can have 5 out of 10. One of those was a pity point to boost your self esteem.

You never quite became that decent member but you haven't regressed any worse. I'm removing the pity point however as I don't think you're fragile enough to warrant it anymore so a 4 out of 10 is the best you can hope for. On a separate note, that simple person you reminded me off, well he eventually got a girlfriend, she might have looked like road kill but she had a pulse so there's hope for you.

DJ Luca

If I was to rate you on your last ten posts then you're rating would be slightly lower than it's going to be. Mainly due to my jealousy that you like things hot and partly because most the posts are rubbish Lucalicious. Thankfully, I'm not going to rate you on your last ten posts, I'm going to rate you on your all round awesomeness which I believe is deserving of atleast a 6.5 but once again, because I'm nice to team spreadsheet, I'll have to round it off and I'm afraid it's not going to be a 7. You rightly get a 6 out of 10 but there's room for improvement. You've slacked on the forum, you no longer brace me with your presence on MSN (Although admittedly I'm rarely on it) and I have so many more stories about certain conquests to feed you. Good guy so you are.


Six out of ten back then but you deserve a ten for the YouTube clip. You'd score higher if you were posting more but I don't notice you that much anymore Luca and so I'm dropping you down to a 5 out of 10. No love loss though.

Dr Barry

Whilst I'm aware of your posting skills, you haven't posted for quite a while and the times you have done so are in threads I probably wouldn't touch due to a lack of knowledge and a lack of interest and if I was to rate you on your last ten, I'd have to rate you as boring. I know you're not, I know you're better than those posts so I'll chuck in a sympathy point to give you 6 out of 10. Maybe if you come back and post a bit of humour then this can be looked at.

Removed sympathy point, deducted lack of activity points and came up with 3 out of 10. It'll get lower and lower until you grace us with your presence again.

eltharion_doa

Elth. I was debating who deserved the only 10 out of 10 in my list and the only suitable candidates were you and SG. Both of you are/were by far the best members on the forum and both are able to discuss a wide range of subjects and portray their opinions with ease. I think what cost you in the end is a) you're a United fan and b) you haven't got a clue what you're chatting when it comes to my beloved Liverpool. For this reason, I decided a ten was out of your reach but putting my bias aside, you're well deserving of a 9 and if their was a Hall of Fame for members, you'd be my first entrant. You're nothing spectacular in terms of humor or what not but you are one of the members who have had a large input and made this forum what it is/was. Credit to you, sir.

I'm of opinion that you're not longer deserving of the above rating as you're not as rampant as you once were. 7.5 out of ten is a good score considering but it's still quite the drop when you take into account the above. You might even end up in that "not as good as he once was" catogory :-\ Bad times.

enigma

Looking at your last ten posts it's evident that you're into sport and games. But unfortunately, neither are my preference because the sport you're talking about is Boxing and the games are the type I never play. Another who hasn't posted for at least two weeks so I'm curious as to what you're upto but I can't imagine it's too much. From my hazy mind, you're a decent enough poster when you can be bothered although I'd do more to visit different topics as opposed to being as one dimensional as your recent posts suggest. I'm going to have to give you 5 out of 10, enigma. I do apologise as I thought originally you'd be good for a 6.

You got the six I thought you were good for but that's about all I can offer and all I can say. You've not got worse but you've not got better, I just like you a little bit more.

Fandan

I want to get you off to a good score as you post in the clothes thread but a) I don't really like your taste and b) I don't really like you I'm afraid. It's not an unhealthy dislike, just something I feel is born from many years of Fandanising. You also posted in the weather thread which gives me great delight as it allows me to reduce your score further. I think you could probably add more to the forums if you did so decide but I still don't think it'd be enough to save you and become a favourite of mine. You'll have to settle with a 4 out of 10. You are better than Al0n who seems to be the bench mark for such things and I'm sorry your overall rating doesn't reflect this. You lack a bit of Smiffy love, correct that then next time round I'll be a little more generous.

Fandan's a clear five out of ten. He could add a lot more than he does but it's his choice not to, no, not an option, he decides not to. He's got interesting stuff to say too which is a shame.

Foe

Sorry Foe but you're going to get a hit since I can't search your name. I can't even be arsed to find a post to go from there. You're getting a 5 out of 10 because it's a decent enough score for a decent enough poster. I think I recall you actually liking me so that's probably stopped you from getting a 4. I think a name change should be in order for later WDYTOE threads and a bit more love towards Liverpool wouldn't go amiss. You are a nice kid though so don't let the score get you down.

Foe these days is a good seven out of ten member. His woes in the relationship thread are just fantastic and I see him the same as I see Hornswoggle, not a midget but a fun little play thing you can whack in your pocket and bring out when bored. 7 o o 10

Fry Crayola

Hmm. This is a tricky one. I'm fully aware of how you've been in the past and that should automatically give you a good rating but I do feel you've gone stale. Nothing too bad though Fry but it's bad enough to give you a lesser rating. I don't think you'll ever get around to completing your game and I honestly believe it's a bit of a joke now. Quite clearly you've got a talent but correct me if I'm wrong but I also think you've become lazy about it. Whilst life in general might have allowed you less time, I think you've got more potential than you show and you just seem to be walking through life. If it were FM then I'd give you a mentor as I feel you've stalled a little in your development but sadly, your determination rating would suggest this wouldn't help all that much. I regrettably give you a 6 out of 10. You used to be better.

Never are we going to have a great deal in common I don't think but a six is still a fair reflection on your abilities to grab my attention. Like most here, if you contributed more actively then you'd shoot up the ratings in no time as you're an intelligent gent with a good creative side but again it's this idea I have that you're just not able to excel due to your give a toss attitude. I could be wrong but it's the image you've painted.

Fundi tsotsi

I'm going to keep this one short and simple. You're getting a 5 out of 10. Whilst you're clearly able to hold your own on occasions, it's quite rare that you do so and this is shown in the sort of threads you tend to reply in. I don't find you all that humouress and if you were to leave the forum tomorrow then I don't imagine you'll be missed. Look on the brightside though, tomorrow is another day and if you tried harder, become more creative then perhaps....just perhaps you'd grab an extra point or even two. Not this time round though, Fundi. Improvement is vital or you're going to suffer the next time round.

No improvement has been made, no mad dashes of creativity and as such those extra points cannot be relinquished. 4 out of 10 seems far enough.

Gaseous Snake

Who wouldn't like GS. I don't agree with everything he says about Liverpool but the guy is entitled to his opinion and recieved unwarranted abuse as a result. It's not just Liverpool discussions where he can hold his own either, I feel GS is a decent all-rounder, has a knowledge on a wide range of subjects and is a decent aquisition to the forum. I'm delighted to give you an 8 out of 10. I believe you to be deserving of that.

I've thought long and hard about it but you've outgrown the previous rating. You actively try to give the forum goodies in the shape of werewolf games, you hold your own in various topics and boy do you have stamina when going around in circles with Member X, Y and Z. These days you're a 9 out of 10 but one day GS, one day you're going to be a double figure dude.

Giggles

The problem I have with you is you're just....there. You don't really offer a great deal as far as I'm concerned and I've never really been taken in by a post of yours. You've been here for a fair while now I think and I suppose you could be glassed as a Ryan Babel type member. Potentially you could be good but you fail time and time again to impress, a few consistant-ish performances and where you maybe threaten to break out but it just never happens. Much like a few others in this list, I think you can benefit from being a little more creative in the way you go about posting because quite frankly, you're a little bland at present. 5 out of 10, Giggles. That's a generous five too.

Ryan Babel as far as I'm aware never made that much of an improvement even after leaving Liverpool and I think it's fair to say that you too haven't made a great deal of improvement over the years. Not as bad as a five suggests but not even average enough for a six. Some times I think lost cause and if I think that, well.....

graves

Your problem is you enjoy posting in the football threads but you don't actually add to them. Little throwaway comments can at times be more insigntful than a full analysis of a match but yours don't strike me as that. They strike me as someone posting just for the sake of posting. You've also posted in the zoo thread which further decreases your rating. You're getting a 4 out of 10, graves. I hope to see an improvement, maybe even a created thread to show us what you're truely made of. If you left, you'll not be missed and I always feel that that's a benchmark members should strive for. Be remembered even when you're forgotten.

As the benchmark suggested, would you be missed if you left? The answer is an almighty no. It's a Daniel Bryan fist pumping No, No, NO! The beauty of this is you have time and numerous chances to improve your offerings to the forum but that's about as likely as me thinking normally.

Gravyb0y

This list and this forum are scattered with people like yourself. You're not a regular by any means and quite how someone like that does make a list is beyond me. Looking at your last ten posts then it doesn't bode too well other than that you actually play FM. I can't be arsed getting into the details when someone is as inactive as yourself so 3 out of 10 is going to be your score. If you return, do so on fire and show us that you deserve to be rated higher. I doubt that'll happen but those are words of wisdom from a gent like me.

I still don't get it, Gravy. Open up a bit, tell me something interesting, be noticed. Rating removed!

Guido

Outside TTH, Guido is one of the best. The guy clearly knows his shit on FM although I haven't always thought it to be that way and over the years we've had run-ins and so on. Despite this, if Guido were to leave I do feel the forum wouldn't decline about 1.5% and the FM sections (although I do think you can do more) would suffer as a result. With that in mind and taking the past into account, I think a 7 out of 10 is a respectable score for a versatile individuals such as yourself. I hope all is well, sir.

Guido's ventured into TTH more now that we have our own FM thread and picked up where he left off. Not enough to warrant an improvement in his score but enough to warrant my attention, not a bad thing given how hard that is to gain. 7 out of 10 but mostly because you're not as diverse as I think you could be.

Harold Bishop

You know when people say TTH isn't as good as it used to be....well, Harold. Neither are you. I think like Fry, you've become stale and I believe you have so much more to offer as you used to be one of the most active, thought provoking, controversial members in recent times. I've never always liked you but as time has passed, I see you for what you are. I think you're an assett to the forum and this is highlighted by the amount of times you've been banned and things just tick along without a suitable replacement. Taking your past form into account, I'm giving you 8 out of 10. I still believe you can improve however and I hope you find it in yourself to put a little more effort into things.

You've gotten worse as times gone on but not in a bad way, I'd say more of a "the act is old and boring" kind of way and as such you'll have to take a hit in the ratings too. 7 out of 10 for a man of the people is rather tragic but it's of your own doing.

Henry

Much like Harold, you used to be better too although I never thought it at the time. You used to iritate me and the best I could offer was to throw in some Irish jokes or accuse you of bullying Baz. As the saying goes though, you don't know what you've got until it's gone and never has a truer word been spoken in your case. You don't have to be this boring moderator you've become. You are more than capable of offering more and like Harold, like Fry and one or two others, you've stalled. Taking all this into account, it seems to be that there's a familiar pattern emerging. Members complain about the place not being that good anymore, I'm starting to think it's because the hardcore group of longstanding members have just stopped posting to their best abilities. This needs to improve and I think you're capable of leading the way. I want to give you an 8 but you're going to have to settle for a 7 out of 10, Henners.

Like Harold, you don't deserve a boost in the ratings nor do you deserve a lower score than seven. You're just a part of the furniture but I believe you'll slowly post less and less before disappearing all together. Quite a few of the old guard probably fall into this particular group yet each and every one has the potential to do something about it if they weren't so set in their ways.

Hfswjyr

Your interests are different to mine and I don't really notice you a great deal as a result. If your latest posts are much to go by then I'd say you were a rather average member of the forum, not too insightful and one dimensional. I might be wrong with that but coupled with the fact I can't recall much about you, you're going to suffer in the ratings as a result. 5 out of 10, sorry. Improvement and creativity are needed, but that can be levelled at most on here.

The improvement has arrived but not enough to boost you from a five. You're the sort of member who makes up the numbers to me and it would have to be something special to get me to stop and think there's more about you than what you currently offer(ed).

Hodda

Hodda....I'm quite gutted that your last ten posts have been poor. So poor in fact that I struggled to give you a fighting chance to redeem yourself and then I found it in the drugs are bad, mmmkay thread. I forgot you were a fellow stoner and although I haven't touched the stuff for nearly three months, I vaguely recall a few comments from the stoner thread to help boost your score a little. Not by much though as that'd be quite pathetic. 5 out of 10 fella, being a stoner, I doubt you've got it in you to strive to improve so that's the best you're going to get.

Same old, same old. No improvement but still a decent enough gent. Anything between five and six should be acceptable but you're probably tilting more towards four which doesn't bode well.

Hulls Tiger

You're going to get a good rating merely because of FM as TTH isn't really your place. I'm quite happy that you know what you're talking about with regards to the game and you've at least made an effort to add some content to the forum. I want to give you a 7 out of 10 but as there's a WDYTOE thread in the FM sections and this is more TTH, I'm going to have to reduce it by two and give you 5. This might be slightly harsh but then you can take solice in the fact that if I was to ever get around to doing one in the FM section, you'd score much higher. Keep up the good work.

I don't even know if you post anymore and as such your entire rating has been reset.

Il Fuce

Sadly, it's been over a month since you last posted on the forum and that's a shame as I do like you. You're a little odd but it's good to be different. It's ben a long time since the Download Festival meet-up with the git below you in this list but I hope that with System of a Down supposedly headlining next year then we'll meet again. I think as a member of the forum you're quite underrated as when you can be bothered, you're a decent member and unlike others, you add a touch of humour with your posts. I hope whatever you're doing is worthy of your absence, come back and give us a Il Fuce style promo. I'm only giving you a 6 out of 10 though, ya bitch.

No rating improvement but I'm pretty sure everyone knows what they get with you and for that reason you've proven yourself to be consistent enough but like I said above, I do like you and it's a shame that you don't post more. You should be right up there with Charlie in providing us with stories of your not so simple life.

[Samadini]

Smiff (part two) -


IJ

As far as FM goes, he spoilt it for me in 2005 or 2006 with his constant moaning about plug & play tactics but I like to believe he was partially right. I thought he was a bit unfair but when you look back, I probably got all I deserved and these days I like the emo/punk git. If taking his FM contributions into account then IJ easily scores an 8.5, but this isn't FM, this is TTH so your score is reduced to a respectable 7 out of 10. I feel you can improve on a few things when you enter TTH and if you put as much effort into that section as you do in the FM one then you'd be so much more than the clog that keeps the forum ticking. You'll never be DM/Karl though.

Part timer these days isn't he? A respectful score of 7 was assigned in 2010 but you've been on a steady decline ever since, no? I'm giving you a five IJ because you've given me no reason to think you can, will or want to rise to prominence once again.

ItalAussie

Ital, I like you and as well thought out as your posts seem to be, I can't help but feel you don't offer as much as you used to. You've never been one to offer much fun and laughter as far as I'm concerned but your knowledge on a wide range of topics suggests you're an intelligent man, something we all know to be right from the years we've known you. I feel as though you've not become stale as such, more that you're no longer arsed and as a result you don't post to the same quality as you used to. With that in mind, I'm going to have to leave you with a 7 out of 10. You would have been a sure thing for 8 but (and I may be wrong), I feel you need a break from the place and maybe a chance to reinvent yourself a little. You've fell into the same trap as the likes of Henry and Harold etc. You have much more to offer but still, the forum is a better place with you around regardless.

I'm surprised I gave you a seven but reading the above I can see why I did at the time. You're the eight I thought you were initially but I'm convinced you still have the attributes required to improve further. Perhaps a few more created threads since you're capable of attracting attention and keeping it. 8 out of 10.

James

James, you just successfully guaranteed yourself an extra point for that 'a story' thread. I actually felt for you, it was all.....American Pie-esque. Sadly, that's all you're getting points for as the rest of your posts aren't upto scratch but if you continue from your last then I see a bright future for you.

I've known your name but never really noticed you as such and that's going to reflect in your final score but you've shown potential and I hope that's the start of things to come. You're welcome to a 5 out of 10.

Not a great deal of change here but a boosted score is needed for your efforts. 6 out of 10 but like a lot on this list, you're just not my cup of tea. Today.

Jimmy Floyd

There's not a whole lot to say about you, Jimmy. You get what you see and belong in the top bracket of members, a position you've earnt on merit and like TTH Christmas Quiz, you do make an effort to improve the board, add some quality and what have you. Above all, you're consistant in your approach, you're a relatively nice guy and even after all these years, I can't be sure whether you're black or white. The same can be labelled at Ledley in all fairness. I think your score could be higher if you went into overdrive but then I'm not too sure if too much Jimmy would be a bad thing. As it stands, 8 out 10 is perfectly reasonable and I hope you stick around for many more years to come.

I think now as I thought then that an eight is reasonable enough but the image I now have of you is much worse. Thankfully I'm scoring you based entirely on what you offer inside TTH because right or wrong, that image isn't a pretty one. I'd like to see a period of sustained quality offerings, created threads, purposeful questions and what have you as I think you have days where you don't add a thing. 8 out of 10.

John

Maybe I'm missing something but I just don't get it. As far as I can recall you're an able enough member but nothing seems to stick out. Looking at your past ten posts then I could quite easily give you a low score as almost none of them are insightful, entertaining etc but atleast you try. I'm going to give you more of a chance in future as I try to become more of a regular myself again but I'm afraid I can't give you a six so it's going to have to be a 5 out of 10. I have a feeling that this is lower than it should be and for that I apologise but I'll make it up next time round should you impress me enough. There's your new years resolution for 2011.

I still don't get you. I think it's more to do with everything being written as opposed to speaking in person as I vaguely recall you being quite sound in those old music rooms even if your taste in music does leave a lot to be desired. You're not a five or a six as it's obvious you're to some peoples taste on here and so a 7 out of 10 is awarded. That's not to say you've improved, it just means you fit in around here.

John_Arne

Nah. I can't say for certain whether I think you benefit the forum and none of your latest posts help you out in that respect. With the exception of a few Liverpool ramblings that I recall from you, the rest seems to be of a very average quality. I see no reason to give you a five so we'll play it safe and you can have 4 out of 10 with that customary comment that you're not as bad as Al0n despite the same rating. (I think I gave that gimp a 4)

You've definitely improved in time and so 6 out of 10 shouldn't be too flattering. There's more to come, or at least there had better be since you'd be one of the biggest bores on here.

JonWo

OK. Like fuck am I going to search for your past posts, instead I'm going to give you a little bit of advice that you'd do well to take in. TTH is a place where things stick and the way you've entered this particular section of the forum is liable to haunt you for the duration of your stay and WDYTOE lists forever show you to have shitty comments as someone doesn't like the way you contribute or they'll comment about how you used to be a nob and improved like the likes of Taz, BoltonMassiv and a few others.

You should do yourself a favour and stamp your immature behaviour out straight away and try posting in a much better manner, be creative, get used to how the place works and add to discussions instead of being the discussion. I can't give you anything but a 2 out of 10 as you haven't impressed me in the slightest but I'm willing to give you a chance, hence the good token point.

I don't know if he even posts but he definitely hasn't gone the way of Taz and the like if he does.

JordInc

Honest with his opinion and not afraid to voice it when required, JordInc is another good member of the forum although I feel he can contribute a little more and show more of who he actually is. If I was to judge you just on your last ten posts then I wouldn't really believe you were one of the better members of the forum but fortunately, I have past experience and I'm fully aware of what you bring to the table, as are most the regulars here. I think a 7 out of 10 is a good enough score but you can probably improve on alot of things. As to whether you're bothered enough to do so remains to be seen, I don't think you care either way and you'll continue posting in the same vein that you've done so for the past few years.

Looking back then the score of 7 was justified, looking at the present then a score of 6 is more fitting. Nothing more to add here.

Kikó

Who doesn't like Kiko? Well, if it was based on his last ten posts then I certainly wouldn't especially as the last one was in that stupid fucking weather thread. But Kiko is a part of the furniture and a good guy too. He can be entertaining, he can be serious and he knows what he's talking about when it comes to football. I think like others you can offer more than you are at present but you're a favourite of mine and I'm giving you a very generous 8. I think it should be 7 but I want the rating to reflect how much I rate you as a poster. Try and add a little more though for the sake of TTH.

You can keep the eight but it's no longer generous. I think moving abroad has been the making of Kiko and he's more than part of the furniture now. He's clearly tooled up with knowledge, some inside, some not, he has his views that he rarely strays from and his demeanor on the forum is normally a positive one. Keep it up sunshine.

KJAC

I don't know why KeyRing is still in the list given how inactive he is but the guy has enough past form to give a suitable rating. He's mainly a football man and almost always talks sense when doing so. Add to some of the quality material he wrong in TMD then he should get a nice round 7 but I'm giving him a 6 out of 10 as he's not around enough to warrant the better rating.

I hope you're doing well in whatever it is you're doing, you should pop back and help us improve this shitefest once in a while though.

I'm removing the rating but the above still stands. I hope whatever you're doing in life is making you happy and that you still have your youthful innocence about you although I'd imagine that's quite a big ask. I'd love for you to return and be a mini-Yevrah. So bitter about about everything. HA!

kweli/

Simple rating. 6 out of 10. You're a good guy, you're quite polite for a member of TTH too but you're lacking something to make you stand out from the crowd and this is a pretty crowded place. You won't be missed if you left but I don't think many would wish that upon you anyway.

A boost of one gives you a pleasing 7 out of 10. You still won't be missed if you left but you're much more noted these days. At least by me. I think you're a good guy but like above, you still lack that wow factor, a moment of surprise where your name is spoken.

ledge11

For some reason I'm tempted to tell you to see JonWo's bit but I'm not entirely sure based on your last ten posts. I think I need to see more of you so I'm refusing to give you a rating. First and only time this shall be done, make the most of it and give us some quality to admire. I think that may be beyond you though.

He didn't last either, no? Fucking newbies.

Ledley

You won't get into a TTH Hall of Fame but you wouldn't grace a Hall of Shame either. Over the years you've been as consistant as they come and can mix it with the best when required to do so.

Your footballing knowledge is decent enough and you make an effort at times to indulge in open discussions. More plus points would be that you're a very likeable fella and you don't take things too seriously as far as I recall. I think 7 out of 10 is a good rating for you, Ledley. Maybe if you tried you could score an eight in future versions but that's down to you and you only.

I miss Ledley. I don't even know if he still posts but if he does it's a bad thing as I'm under the impression he's been gone for a fair while. I'm holding back your score until confirmation is made.

LeeCovFox

I honestly have never seen your name on TTH but your last post came in the weather thread which isn't the best start you could have made. However, having looked at a fair few other of your posts you come across as quite a mature member who participates in a wide range of topics although I feel you can do better. Again, it's down to creativity, I feel this is an attribute that many TTH'ers currently lack. Step outside the box, do something different and use your standing to improve yourself as a member and improve the forum in general. I'll be keeping a look out. 6 out of 10, would have been more if I actually noticed you sooner I feel.

You didn't step out of the box but you became more noticed to me. You've come across quite well for many years over the forum now and it's something I don't see changing. I can't give you an eight but a 7 out of 10 shows that the improvement has arrived albeit not creatively. Your football talk is normally well thought out and to the point and whereas we don't have many similarities, you're a good egg.

Lewis

Not much needs to be said about you, Lewis. You're a comfortable 8 out of 10 and although I think others overrate you at times, you're a worthwhile addition to the forum and someone I hope sticks around for a while to come. You make a constant effort to engage others in discussion and you're able to create decent threads which puts you way above a fair few. Keep it up. (And I will fucking finish this fucker!)

Oh how times change. You're not an eight to me but overall I imagine you'd score highly for most. I personally just don't like you as as much as we laugh and joke on here, one bad comment at any sort of meet would probably see me remove your head because a lot of it is uncalled for. I won't derail the thread though, I'll just swiftly move on. 8 out of 10.

Lichtie

I was half expecting all your posts to be in the betting thread so I was suprised that none of your latest ones were. You're a stable member who neither shocks or disappoints. One would call it average, I'll just call it OK. I don't think you're worth more than a 6 out of 10 and maybe that's even giving you one too many. I'll keep it at that though as back in the old betting thread that DM destroyed, you were good.

Average is average but you're no longer that. Rating removed for lack of activity.

LilFabregas

Who? Genueinly haven't heard of you but I can see that you're an FM fan. I said ledge would be the only person I don't rate but I can't rate you without seeing a little more. So far, reasonably good though. Keep it up, add more and I have a feeling you might just become a good member. Prove me right.

I have a bit of a dislike for people who end up on these lists and then go on to become a bit part player but you're not even that. Unless you've had a name change of sorts, it's a joke that you even got this far and such members are the reason these things take so fucking long to complete anyway. Fuck off.

Lofty

You don't add enough to the forum but at the same time, you don't diminish the quality either. You're in the 5/6 bracket so I'm going to have to base you on your last ten posts and sadly nothing really stands out as insightful or having put much thought behind it. I don't quite think a 5 out of 10 is right for you but you'll have to accept it as I don't think a six is either.

Boy was I wrong. You're highly entertaining and whilst the content of your material isn't insightful, it's damn right hilarious. And your look....you've just got it all to be the life of a party or the victim of a cruel joke. Both are fine with me and you are too. An improvement and you're a good 7.5 out of 10, Lofty.

Luther Blissett

I'm sure you used to be a bit of a outspoken nobber but I can't quite pin point the occasions. From what I see recently though you're quite a good chap and add more than a line or two when replying to threads which is a good sign.

I'd like to see a bit more in the way of improving the section, maybe you could start a thread of a particular interest of yours and show us more of what Luther Blissett is abour or maybe you have found your level. I can't give you 7 but I think 6 out of 10 might be apt enough. I'm sure I'm missing something though.

Same old, Same old. 6 out of 10.

Mahow

You've come along way from the Ronaldo 1-0 days which was about as boring as the current Man Utd set up. I wouldn't suggest for a moment that you're citical to the forum and in FM terms I'd have you more as a backup for the first team but in proper footballing terms it's like replacing a fully fit Fernando Torres with N'gog. Same position but the quality is definitely noticed. Fortunately, I like N'Gog and I like you too. I think a 6 out of 10 should suffice. I'd like to see you try and be more creative, maybe come up with an idea that'll help TTH peak for a couple of days but that's almost like asking Carrick to play just behind Rooney, it'll not happen and if it does, it won't be too effective.

Over the years Mahow has become an bit of an oddity here. He's one of those who came in and wasn't taken seriously (at least to me) but he overcame all, told us bits about himself and whilst he still isn't taken seriously, he's a good member to have around. 7.5 out of 10 for Mahow.

Magic Johnson

I'm not really a fan of yours, MJ. I just don't 'get it'. If ofcourse there's anything to get. You've been around long enough for people to be familiar with your username but I'm of opinion that that's all you've achieved, and I use that word loosely. I figured I'd have to go by your last ten posts and that's going to reflect bad as bad timing see's you post meaningless comments in the World Cup thread and the hated weather thread. Basing my rating on this and the fact that you've had more than enough time to become a good forum member, I'm dishing out a 5 out of 10.

I get it. Sort of. You're not the five you were but a nice round 7. You could still contribute more but that doesn't make you any different to alot of people in this list. Keep safe.

manc sean

Possibly the most boring member around at present but he's not a bad guy and although the way he acts bores the life out of me, he's not as big a nob as he once was. I couldn't give a toss if he posted more or not though. 4 out of 10.

Probably back to supporting FC United now Man United are shit. Or wait, does he like it now United are shit? Or is he crying in his cheerio's wishing things were like they once were. Who knows. Plastic member but hopefully he's doing well in life, I imagine he is.

Matt

Another regular who seems to be just that, a regular. Quite what you're a regular of is beyond me as your last ten posts hardly paint you in a good light and you've never really struck me as someone who's willing to add that little bit extra for the benefit of others. An accusation that's been levelled at quite a few members already. TTH is boring blah blah blah and yet there's only a select few around who have the ability to change that. I couldn't say whether you have that as I'm not that familiar with much of what you've added. For that reason alone, I can't give you a rating that you'll be happy with. 4 out of 10.

Four out of ten, Matt?! Four out of 10? You're a six these but there's still more to you than you unveil. More members should just post about their lives. It's interesting and we're all trusted enough to only use it against you when needed. 6 out of 10.

Mark

I want to give you a 10 out of 10 as we wouldn't be here if it weren't for you but I can't. Your recent activity in the FM section is promising and so I'll base you on that and past form by giving you a 7 out of 10. You've been good to me over the years when you really had no need, especially back in the darker days with my constant pestering about being unbanned and what not. Thank you for thedugout, sir. Here's hoping we relive the former glories once more.

We wouldn't be here without you but then neither would TheDugout. I'm a firm believer that the sheer amount of traffic TTH creates is reason enough for this site to exist. I understand the reasons as to why but the fact this site is just a forum these days instead of a website for FM is a shame but then how many years have we been saying that!?

MartinSAFC

Poker, snooker and Sunderland sum you up. I still maintain that I am better than you at the snooker but that's not what this list is about. It's asking what I think of you and judging by your current form, I can't raelly say I think a whole lot, Martin.

Whilst you're able to express yourself in a pleasant manner and can add to various topics/discussions, I don't think you do so enough to give you a rating that'll justify your overall contribution to the forum. 6 out of 10 seems to low, 7 out of 10 seems too high but it's the seven that I'm giving you because you just so happen to be a nice guy.

You get what you see with Martin but unlike then, a seven seems reasonable now as opposed to too high. When he posts he posts well and in a way that I like. As a person I imagine him having big dreams but ultimately not reaching the target he set but a target higher up the ladder than your average Joe. 7 out of 10.

Mazuuurk

I don't understand why you've got that 'reputation' that you have. I don't find you that funny, nor do I find you interesting. On the flip side, I don't find you irritating nor do I feel you lower the standard of the forum as much as certain other members do. It's a ten post rating for you, my friend.

The best way to please a pissed off player is to trust them, keep playing, say they did well even when they haven't, offer new contracts, give bigger bonuses and then realise that a pissed off player is pissed off because they're unprofessional and disrespectful towards you and sell the fucker on anyway.

And that's a good start. I do like to see regular members posting in the FM sections and a few of your latest posts do that. Your advice in the 'a story' thread is sound too, you could quite easily have acted the nob. I think you can improve further and add more but overall you come across as just above average and that'll show in the 7 out of 10 that I'm giving you.

Eight out of ten seems too high so we're sticking with the original rating but with the additional comment of "you're alright" to soften the blow.

Mellin

If I have to pay you £50 then I swear I'm going to pay you in Guernsey £1 notes, I'm going to deliver it personally and I'm going to make you eat each and every single one of them. On to the forum, you're a decent member who's been around for a long time and at times, you can be funny and rather insightful but you can also be the complete opposite too. This shows signs of inconsistancy which is something you Villa fans are rather used to.

As much as I like you, I don't think the forum would miss you that much and it pains me (not proper proper pain but make belief pain) that that's the case. You used to be better too, I'm almost sure of it. I think 8 is too much so a 7 out of ten is sufficient enough to keep you happy but that'll change to a 1 for the next list should you take my cash.

I like Mellin a lot but I don't think he's as active as he has been in the past. If I was to select a few TTH'ers to go on a bender with then you'd be one of the first so take that however you want to. I get the impression that if he wasn't so stale then he'd be one of the best members on the forum. 7.5 out of 10.

mert

Not a fan, I don't think I'll ever be a fan and I don't care enough to give you a chance. I like the fact you're open and swear by Neil Strauss but you need far more in your inventory to impress me and you're lacking in far too many areas. I'd tell you what these area's are but fact of the matter is I'll be here all night and it won't help you any because you're too incapable. 3 out of 10.

No longer with us having taken out six potential conquests. I feel a bit shady now as I didn't realise you had as many issues as you did or that you were living your alternative reality right here in TTH with your sordid dreams of Facebook fucking. You'll be missed but forgotten by time I finish phonic's little entry. Rating removed as a show of respect.

mf phonics

Stoner point = 1. Forum points = 3/4. I'm undecided but I don't think you offer much. You've not posted in a fair while either so that further makes a dent in what your overall rating should be. Even reading your last ten posts is makes you seem rather bland but I know that's not entirely the case. It may seem harsh but I'm giving you a 4 out of 10. Maybe if/when you return you can boost it by being better than you are at present as you're easily dispensable.

Over time I'd suggest the harsh rating became a fair one. You're not that interesting for me and I'd quite happily trade you for another member of another forum. 4 out of 10 remains.

Mike

Please tell me that your mother had an affair and that's how Baz was produced because to me, you're both at complete opposite ends of the scale. You're bright and funky, Baz reminds me of Norman from the old kitkat adverts. With you Mike, you know what to expect. You don't try too hard and are probably better away from the forum, you're in your brothers shadow online but mainly because he's a attention pimping prick, whereas you're the laid back loveable rogue. Or laid back loveable lanky rogue? 6 out of 10.

Mike has been boosted to a 7 by virtue of being Mike and not Baz. I don't know what draws me to him but he's such a likable character that that's enough reason in itself. You probably could post more than you do though.

Minister De la Funk

Do you ever get the feeling that you're just going through the motions? I ask because having read your last ten posts that's what you come across as. Someone who's been here for so long they tend to visit just for the sake of visiting and by default end up posting just for the sake of posting. 6 out of 10.

As above really, MDLF.

MokBull

At first I thought you'd ruined any chance as I had a feeling you were quite a poor member. I've obviously got you mixed in with the likes of JonWo and co because I'm mistaken. You're not too bad and I think once you get a proper feel for the forum then you can add alot more. I think you can be a bit simple at times but I'd have to scroll through plenty more of your posts in order to confirm that and sadly, not many thrill me enough to spend the time and effort doing so. I'm going to give you a decent rating of 6 out of 10 but if you're still around when the next WDYTOE thread pops up, it better not stay the same or reduce. Maybe being an FM'er has helped you get a chance to prove yourself to me and TTH, or maybe I'm mistaken and you're a cock. Time will tell.

I like to think you've adjusted to the forum relatively well and although not enough to see an increase in your rating, I have been lenient in not deducting any as I don't think you've improved a massive amount in terms of what you offer.

MUFC1987

You're not a bad lad but I don't think you add much to the forum. I don't even need to check your last ten posts out to come to that conclusion but I'll do so anyway just to give you a fighting chance of gaining a point on the 5 out of 10 I was going to offer......and it seems to be that you haven't posted since July so that blows that chance out of the water. If and when you return, I'd like to see an improvement as you're not missed. I'd be suprised if we saw any posts before this paragraph asking where MUFC1987 has gone. That speaks volumes. 5 out of 10.

I'm not even sure you post anymore either and since I thought "aint read that name in a while" when I read yours, my initial point of you not being missed seems a valid one.

Nick

On current form, I'm going to keep it quick and easy by giving you an 8 out of 10. As far as I'm aware from your past history you've always been a helpful member of the forum and having a quick look at your latest posts confirms that. You also contribute an awful lot in the FM sections which is where I think you're suited best and I must say, I do like what I read. You are a credit to the forum and I'd hope you stick around even longer than you already have. Hopefully others see the good work you're doing.

Forever helpful and what a forum needs. Nick's a good un but not an eight any more. Seven seems more fitting but don't think of it as a demotion of sorts. You're just Nick.

nickfootie5

Your a harmless member but a little bit boring, nickfootie. You don't add that much to the place and you don't have any standout features, not even a 10 out of 20 in FM terms. You'd probably do a job for a lower league team but that job would more than likely be taking the nets down or washing the kit. Improvement is required. 4 out of 10.

You're still boring but not a chance are you a four out of ten. The improvement arrived but nothing that would grab you and think eh up, this guy is interesting. 5.5 out of 10 is a good score for you really.

Nik*

I'm almost certain there was a time when you were much better than your latest posts seem to portray because reading them it shows you that you aren't that funny and far too many posts are less than a sentence. That's a poor return for someone I'd assumed was a decent member of the forum. I've even given you a bigger chance than any others I've listed thus far as I got as far as page three of your posts in the hop that something stood out. Nothing did, Nik. Not a single one. You have far much more to offer than you are doing at the moment and 3 out of 10 might seem low but until you step it up, that's all you're going to get from me.

Some of the scores in the list from four years ago is shocking and this is one of them. What on earth did you do to deserve a three?!? You're not the first person we'd turn to for creativity or some full on thread action 8-) but you're a reliable member of the forum and as such a boost of three is fair. 6 out of 10, Nik. Improvement can be made however.

niko_cee

You haven't posted for a few months yourself but when you do, you contribute more than the poster above which means you'll be getting more than the 3. Your lack of activity however means it'd be unfair to give you more than a 6 and based on past form, ie, since I've known TTH, I'd say a 5 out of 10 is sufficient enough. Hopefully your absence is because you're doing something good and still travelling. You're not missed but you'd be welcomed back, I feel.

You're back a lot more than you were than and whilst six out of ten might not seem great, it's better than five. I wouldn't mind knowing more about you and what makes you tick but as noted above, you're not missed (you're back right now I know) but to me when a member isn't missed, it speaks volumes.

Offshore Toon

It's nearly four years to the day you made the 'Do you have 1p lying around?' thread my friend and that could be your best contribution to the forum. Period.

The problem is it came unintentionally and I'll have to admit to not seeing enough quality posts from you to suggest that's not still the case and so as with a few others, it's a ten post countdown for you and sadly, it's not going to be enough to help your standing. FOr a start, you've got too many posts in the hip hop thread and an unhealthy obsession with the mugshot one. Reading a few of your other recent posts suggests that you try to be funny but it doesn't quite work. I'd often say I was hit and miss as far as cracking a joke goes but yours seems to be missing more than Madeline.

I wanted to give you a higher rating because I used to like you 'back in the day' but on current form, you're worth no more than a 5 out of 10. You need to parcipate in a wider range of threads and express yourself better. Attempting to crack a joke isn't always essential in being a good solid member. That's what I expected you to be so that's what I feel you should strive for in future.

Five out of ten eh....Toon is a good member of the forum, he's funny, he doesn't take things too seriously and he's done well considering the team he supports. 7 out of 10 is good improvement but I believe he's capable of more and I reckon if he had more time on his side then he'd provide it. I like you Toon, enough to say you're right up my street.

Okay Amigo

I don't know why you're so liked because looking at your last ten (+) posts, there's nothing there that sticks out and that's an issue I have to take up because I'm one of the members who likes you and I can't for the life of me think why. Maybe I've just followed the majority and decided, yeah, you're OK. Well, Amigo, I've changed my mind. You're not OK, infact, I think you're getting by on your puny reputation, all style, no substance. Is there a reason for this? I don't know but either you've slacked considerably or you just weren't as good as you've been made out to be. 6 out of 10 but that's a generous rating overlooking the flaws that eminate from your every fibre.

You're a good seven out of ten Amigo and you'll no doubt be delighted to know that I no longer think you're getting by on your reputation. Wherever the hell that came from I don't know. You could improve further but that's more down to me than you as I don't pay you enough attention. Clearly I'm in the wrong as I have looked over a few of your posts today using the good olde search button and I've overlooked you a fair bit.

P_3

Another who's name looks familiar but nothing stood out and having looked at your recent posts it's easy to see why. You tend to fly under the radar. You don't strike me as the sort who trys to be noticed, instead you'll post whats on your mind at that moment then move on to the next thread. Fortunately, you're also an FM'er so that'll be looked on favourably but I would like to see a bit more depth in your posts. Elaborate more on certain things and engage in a little more discussion then you'll be a 7'ish. As of this moment though, 5 is too low so I'll give you my second generous 6 in row. (For Jimmy. That's 6 out of 10.)

P3 has moved up to that elusive seven which I'm sure he'll be in awe of. I think more could come from him though so next time I expect it to be an eight or I'll take this extra point back and fire a volley of abuse in your general direction.

Panda Bear

I had you down as a thought provoking member capable of expressing himself and bringing others down when they needed to be told but I must say, I'm quite disappointed in what I discovered. You're quite obviously a well educated chap and are more than capable of adding much more than the last page of posts shows. I should know more of you but I'll blame that on my own inactivity lately and give you a 6 out of 10. I'll be keeping an eye out for more of your posts and hopefully you can revert to your former glory of actually having an IQ.

There's a backstory to Panda that I really want to know or read again if it's already been posted because reading the above and recalling him recently would suggest he's gone right down hill, lost at least a fifth of that IQ and has reduced himself to being just another name that fails to grab my attention.

Penaldo Venaldo

I'm sure you started off better than you've been lately but that's not to say you're a poor poster. For the best part, your posts come across as someone who's mature but slightly bored and passes time by posting here. Maybe in your earlier days that wasn't the case. I think you would benefit if we had more members around that were capable of creating threads worthy of proper discussion, actually, Panda Bear could fall under that too. For what it's worth, I don't mind you but I would like to see more. I'll give you a 6 out of 10 and hope you raise your game.

We saw more and a 7.5 out of 10 doesn't flatter, Pen. You're a good addition to the forum and a good man. I'd like to see more but I think what we have currently is your glass ceiling.

Pepe

I fear you've fallen into the same trap as many of just random posting throwaway comments in threads as opposed to giving well thought out views and inviting discussion. You're not alone which is why TTH is going down the shitter. I'd say step it up but I don't think you've got desired reputation for people to sit up and take note. 5 out of 10, Pepe. Sorry fella.

A boost of one for you Pepe. 6 out of 10 but with plenty of scope for improvement. I suggest you do so otherwise next time I won't be so easy on you. With anger in my finger tips and Google loading up complicated words, I'll tear you apart with my adopted education.

Pokerface

Your name is one that I enjoy. Who wouldn't want to poke LadyGaga in her face...or any female for that matter. That's truely what I think of when I see your username. That's the real reason for having it right...? I'd be gutted if it was just Texas Hold'em. If I recall you've not been the most popular of members but that's not stopped you from going about your business and replying to various topics.

Maybe this time of year isn't helping as your last ten posts don't highlight you in the same regard as you should be held. I'm not a fan but I'm not an enemy, if I've got the right person and I'm sure I have, I think you've just (and we're talking inches) clinched a 7 out of 10. Again. and I'm fed up of saying this but will have to do so, you need to add more. Be spontanious, throw enough shit at the wall and some of it will stick.

There's no chance you're a seven any more and I think a 5.5 is more fitting. I have no words of wisdom, no skittle bombs of advice to launch in your direction so the fruity colorful explosion that could have headed your way is still a dull, miserable grey view.

Prescott

More FM than TTH and if it were a FMWDYTOE thread then you'd score well because you're a good contributer to that side of the forum. With the exception of a few footballing threads in TTH though, I don't recall you straying much further so it's hard to give you a good enough rating for that. Based purely on TTH activity, it's 5 out of 10.

6 out of 10. No further questions, your honor.

Prufrock

Hasn't posted in a while but has past form, enough to keep this short and sweet with a 6.5 out of 10. For Jimmy's sake, whack him down for 6. (THAT'S SIX OUT OF TEN) I wouldn't blame you if you never returned but if you do and you read this, give the place a hand and try boost the content.

I'm getting the impression that the last time we did this we were going through a lull as I've mentioned a few times now about the lack of activity and poor content that was on offer. Pru didn't really change that and so I see him as more of a 5 out of 10.

Queenslander

Were you a bit of a nob when you first started out here because that was my inital thought. I had to look at your last couple of posts to see what you were truely about and for a large part you can across quite well. Maybe it was because it was predominately the ashes thread that you were posting in and as an Aussie cricket fan, it stands to reason that you wouldn't act the goafer.

However....I needed more than that and I found it. 9/10/2010 in The Commonwealth Games thread. And I quote..."In all seriousness Scotland, Wales and Norn Ireland aren't countries."

Well done Queenslander. It seems to have been an age since I dished out a 1 out of 10. Here's another. Mark it down, Jimmy!

Well, for arguments sake unless you've changed username too....the above remains true. Wales not a country....silly twat. ;)

Randomlegend

You really don't like Mert, do you. It actually looks as though you've been hunting him out in some places. Three out of four posts mention him inside 24minutes. What gives?

Fortunately, this isn't a What Does Randomlegend think of Mert thread, in this instance, it's a What Does Smiffy** think of RandomLegend pos and I truely don't know. You're not overly in your face and sometimes you're capable enough to be a potentially good member of the forum but in order to be one you've got to be consistant. I'm going to give you 6 out of 10 but I think it could go either way in future.

It could have gone either way but it didn't, it just remained the same. You make up the numbers and whilst that's not a bad thing, it's not great either. I like my members to by creative, active, humorous and above all else, simple. Simplicity is essential as I can then absorb what is being said. 6 out of 10 remains but I'd be surprised if you ever improved on it.

Raoul Duke

I'm basing your rating more on your past than your last ten posts as I haven't bothered to read them. For what it's worth, you're a consistant poster who I feel could move up a level if you put in a bit more effort. In footballing terms, I'd suggest you were once in League Two battling around in midtable, occasionally flirting with promotion and then after a disastrous season you got relegated to the conference. Now, many called it a blip. You'd get back up the following season but did it happen? No. It didn't happen because you weren't as good as you thought and underestimated the ability of those around you far too often. You've now been stuck in the conference for quite some time. You're a Wrexham, a Grimsby and although you're capable of winning by four goals one week, it's become expected now to see you lose comfortably in a 2-0 defeat the next. Make of that what you will. I'll still give you a 7 out of 10 but hope to see you attempt more in future.

I actually don't think I could have hit that any better. How's the lower league treating you? 6 out of 10. Reduction!

Richie

What the hell happened, Sheamus? I scored so low in your rating that I should be bias and return the favour but I can't in all honesty do that. Why? Because compared to the innocent, gullable creature that you once was when you first started out here, you've developed into a nice cute pussy cat who everyone likes to pet once in a while. Ofcourse you'll get some big bad boy coming along to stick a firework up your ass or to land a kick to your head but the majority like you because you're....you. At least that's my take on it. I think you're a good kid (fuck knows how old you might be now) and although you won't be missed if you left, we might just ask eachother one day...remember that cat? 6 out of 10. It would be seven if you upped your game.

RIP. Rating removed.

Samadini

It's been quite some time since Samadini posted and when he did, you'd expect to find him in the Late Night Thread or discussing something about football. I don't really recall many of his posts from either and I'd be suprised if he added a great deal to more....intellectual threads that may have once been on offer to TTH. Not missed but people would remember the name if asked about his whereabouts. Based on his past, I think a 6 out of 10 should do him justice.

Not sure Samadini deserves a seven but I'm going to give it him anyway.

Sandman

Sandman is a likable fella and one I don't mind. Hell, he got a signed picture of my sister I believe so I must like him a bit too much. Not as active as he was once upon a time and can often be found losing money in the betting thread. It's a mugs game, Sandman but you're no mug. I'm giving you 6 out of 10 because you're not deserving of much more. As a consolation, you can rest in the knowledge that I think you're a sound.

As above, I'm giving you a seven but I'm not sure you deserve it either. I just think you and Sama aren't sixes as you once were.

ScousePig

Decent poster and one who I feel is underrated at times. You have it in your arsenal to be funny on occasions and above average when engaging in proper discussion. I'd like to think you'll improve but you're probably comfortable with your 'position' on the forum. You can improve and reach for an 8 in time if you tried but on this occasion, 7 out of 10 is the most you're getting from me.

Might be overscored but I'm giving Scouse a .5 rise to his 7. I like him, he's easy to talk to, not too hostile and has a good knowledge of football in general as well as being a Sunderland fan which can't be easy. I'd like to see more of an improvement still but the above is as true now as it is then, you wreak of a person who's content with where they're at.

SeniorGuvnor

SG, you need to come back and post as a regular as the forum is better with you here. I haven't always agreed with you but that doesn't mean I don't appreciate the quality you bring. You're intelligent and it's nice that you seem to have escaped that impression you left on me as a sad, scared pathetic individual who whilst intelligent online, would be an absolute mare to deal with in real life. You should be a confident, outgoing gent because when you talk, people listen. I don't know if that's the case when you're out socialising but it should be. You're the only one on the list to get a 10 out of 10 from me because I feel you've earnt it over the years and I'm willing to overlook your lack of activity in recent times.

You were the only 10 out of 10 on this list but the lack of activity and popping in every now and again after some event isn't really on. As such I think a 7 out of 10 suits but much of that is obviously based on what you did for the place during your better days. You'll continue to lose ratings the longer you remain hidden. It's a shame SG, a big fucking shame. I could overlook the lack of activity four years ago but ermm, four years!

Shindig

Not as funny as he once was, he and Pabs were two of my favourite members if I think back now. More so when he posted along with myself and Il Fuce in the CM0102 section. Nothing made me enjoy my managerial abilities more than seeing Shindig fail time and time again when managing Newcastle. Joy.

You're what I would call a 'household name' as far as TTH goes but you peaked along time ago and whether we'll see that again is doubtful. As it is, I feel a seven would be an injustice so a generous 8 out of 10 is offered even if you haven't earnt it recently.

Still not as funny as he once was but I don't feel it'd be such an injustice now to make him a seven. Shindig suffers from having been around for too long with no real prolonged break as far as I recall. He's another who has had a very interesting life and one that I'd be keen to hear more about but each to their own. 7 out of 10, sir.

SincereTheRebel

Football. Games. Football. Games. Football. And so on. Our paths haven't crossed all to much and that's a shame as you've got quite a good head on you when talking about football. I can't relate to the games section as I don't play GT and the like but if first impressions were to count, you'd have done well enough thus far.

I'll be more observant in future and look for your posts to see what else you can bring to the table. It's a 7 out of 10 here though.

Looking back I think a seven was too much at the time but these days it's about right, Sincere. You've become a good member of the forum and one that'll no doubt be around for a while longer as I think it's probably one of the first sites you visit when you log online. I'm right aren't I?

Keep doing what you do, add some threads of your own in there and voila, you'll grab an eight next time.

[Samadini]

Smiff (part three(what a wanker)) -


Shrewnaldo

Once again, in FM terms, you'd be scoring much higher as I'm loving the commitment you're putting into that section at present and it's nice to see how helpful you are. You'd probably score a 9 out of 10. But this is TTH and you'll not be scoring that high, Shrew.

It's almost like day and night. Whilst in the FM sections you're almost everywhere but it seems as though in TTH you limit yourself to what I'd term throwaway threads. The Weather thread, the injury thread and X-Factor too. I think 7 out of 10 is a good rating and as you've shown in the FM part of the forum, you're more than capable of adding more. Hopefully we see that in future.

I'm keeping you at a seven Shrew but I do like you more than that, I just don't think the quality of your posts in TTH is sufficient enough. FM related, you da man.

Simon

No rating required since he's posted just four times this year. Such members need to be removed from these threads as it'll make the list smaller and smaller lists = more lists.

Isn't it ironic, Simon? I'm pleased that you've become the member you have and a 7 out of 10 now is a good score, the highest boost of anyone on the list in fact. I appreciate that we can probably relate in some aspects of our lives based on some of the things I've read but the general feeling I've gotten when engaging with you or just reading your posts is that you're a good honest lad who wants to dream big and achieve bigger.

Smiffy**

He's a creative genius but lacks the abil...

Fuck the lot of you. :cool: Can't finish anything my fucking ass.

Spav

I've always been told to respect my elders and so I'll do so by commending you on still being in touch with the youth today. Your posts don't come across as an old fart even though you went through certain phases that many of us 'young uns' are only just experiencing. You could be grooming a few newbies via PM but you've kept it silent from TTH massive.

In all seriousness though, you're a decent man and I don't think I, nor any other TTH'er can have a bad thing to say about you. Just wrap up warm for the winter, sir. You know this time of year is bad for OAP's like yourself. I said I'll be respectful, I was, I am, I'm giving you 7 out of 10 and a hug.

Time normally means our elders actions start to reduce somewhat and given how I can now imagine you going to bed just three or four hours after your afternoon nap, It can't leave you with too much time to venture into TTH. I'm sticking with the seven because you're worth that but sadly I feel your days with us are numbered and unless the care home you get put into has wifi, we may as well say our goodbyes now.

SpikeyM

Spikey's a good member of the forum and one that I like. He can take a joke, he can dish it out if needed and he's able to express his opinions relatively clearly. I was thinking that a seven would be good enough but I'm going to go one better and give you an 8 out of 10. It might be a little more than it should be so you can return the favour (no, this isn't a Fifa voting scandal for a WDYTOE thread) by conjuring up a way to improve this particular section of the forum. You've got it in you, you've got the name and I'm putting my faith in you to have the ideas.

I can't in good faith give you an eight out of ten again Spikey as I don't think you warrant it at all. In fact, I'd say a 6 out of 10 is probably the best you can hope for from me now or in the next one unless improvements are made. You never did excel like I thought you would.

SpokesmaN

You don't immedietely catch the eye and your name carries very little weight. I'd be suprised if you ever made it into a top 10 but you'd make a top 100. That's not a compliment, that's me stating that you're in the same boat as someone like Raoul Duke whereby so see his comment and you'll understand. 6 out of 10, Spokes. I do like you though so don't feel too hard done by.

7 out of 10 for you, sir. You've improved to the extent that I notice you more which is no easy feat given how self obsessed I am, if the conversation ain't me, I ain't interested. But I am interested with some things you come out with which is pretty handy if you're you as it gives you scope to become a favourite of mine. Everyone wants to be a favorite of mine, you see. Everyone. Seriously. Honest. No lies.

Sporter

Hasn't posted in a fair while and hasn't posted since we lost to Man United. RIP fella. 5 out of 10 based on your past exploits but whittled down to 4 out of 10 because you don't add anything right this second.

Whittled down to four at the time and although I fleetingly recall your name over time, it's not enough to secure that rating. 2 out of 10, sorry bud.

Staff

See Sporter. Another 4 out of 10 for the same reason although when around, he's a decent member.

Whereas you sir are now a 5.

SvN

As far as I recall you're very bias when talking about Man Utd which won't bode well when I get around to your rating. You've been around for long enough now to know how the forum works, especially TTH and you've not really done much in the entire time that you've been here to justify giving you anything above a six. I've delved through your recent posts to give you a chance of collecting that six but I can't find much that's worthwhile and deserving enough to suggest you're just someone who makes up the numbers. Add this to the fact you preferred Paranormal Activity 2 to the original is just down right bizarre.

Either step it up or forever remain in the shadows. 5 out of 10, fella.

When writing the above I couldn't find nowt but since then you've clearly shown yourself to be a 7.5. You're not a breakout star and in fact if we'd just had a flood of new youngsters I'd be very concerned that you could lose your place but you never do, in that sense you're the versatile player who's always looking to be replaced at the start of the campaign before forcing your way back into the team before the seasons over. Different position it may be but you're still in the main group.

Taz

I think Taz could be a template for the most improved member TTH has ever had but that could be because I only vaguely remember what he used to be like. I can't recall who it was in this thread that said it but Taz has his 'persona' down to a T at the moment. He's one of the most entertaining members this forum has had since PabmaniaD_D although he offers it in a different manner. I'd like to extend my hand to this individual for being different, a cut above so many others and well deserving of the 8 out of 10 that I'm giving him. Top bloke.

Taz is a fantastic member to have here and an eight is good enough. I don't think he'll ever be higher than that and I'd be worried that maybe he'll become stale in time as it becomes harder and harder to decide if he's taking the piss or being serious. The Taz that first came on the scene is proof that with a little bit of time and patience, even the biggest pricks can become valued members.

The Bruce

I've not seen enough to judge you from your entire period here but I've seen enough to give you a rating. I tried to help boost it by looking at your recent posts they aren't up to scratch to give you more than a 5 out of 10. Much like a few others (oddly, you're all mainly moderators) I much prefer you when you're in the FM sections and it this were there, you'd score slightly higher but not as high as Shrew. Not being funny but that's how it seems.

Six out of ten, Bruce. Not a great deal to add but an improvement has obviously been noted.

The Pongo

Pongo can be delightful and Pongo can be delightfully shit. It's like Harold of yesteryear on occasions (although not as good/bad) and if he channelled his posts in a more positive manner then we'd have a really good member on our hands. Although I feel you've mellowed out a little as I can't find much evidence to how you used to be. Or how I used to intepretate you. I'm going to give you a 7 out of 10 because I feel it's a fair mark.

I can't really move away from the above, Pongo.

The Saint

Love him or hate him, The Saint is The Saint. I swear he could quite easily have been an alias when he first joined but I think that's been put to bed these days. What I fail to understand is how someones English can be so bad still despite how long he's been here and never has someone moved the goalposts as much as he does. The Saint is never wrong. Neither am I, Saint. You're getting a 6 out of 10 and you'd better be happy with it. Let me know. Oh wait....you can't! :D

We should give the guy another chance especially if we have to put up with Bos every once in a while. Just leave those two to go around in circles then we can all get on with what we were doing. Rating removed.

thelastnightintown (Malady)

You'd get a better rating if we were in the FM section but there's not a chance I can rate you at all in TTH one and I think you're another who shouldn't be in this particular list. Sort it out, DS.

Townsend? If so, 7.5, if not, sod it.

Thisism, Thatism

Not as regular as I'd like him to be as although our interests differ, this guy is intelligent and if grouped together with the Harolds, SG's, Elth's and Yev's of this forum would hold his own. He can let himself down on occasions by lowering himself to others standards but I'm willing to overlook that by giving him a respectable 7 out of 10. I won't be rating him in the next list if he's not a regular though and that goes to many others on this one.

Yeah, nothing to add again. Getting tired and finger tips hurt.

However, you should post more and replace Harold and Elth. One's none existent, the other has just lost it. 6 out of 10 suggests you've regressed but it's more a lack of activity than anything else.

TimR (Snakepit Canary)

You should score high just for completing the challenge of taking our beloved Brno to a league title but TTH > FM on this occasion and I can't think of too many times where I've seen you post in this section. I certain had no idea up until a few days ago who TimR or Snakepit Canary were but again, that's more to do with my own inactivity.

Because of this, I'm going to relucantly give you a 5 out of 10 as the posts that I can find that you've left in TTH aren't all that readworthy. Jimmy...THAT'S FIVE OUT OF TEN.

Rating removed until I recall who you actually are. Norwich fan?

Toby

Is it just me or do you get some unwarranted grief? I'm sure I spotted someone else suggest it and I think that may be true. For what it's worth, I don't think you're a Premier League poster but you're definitely in the Championship. I'd like to see you think outside the box a bit more and create discussion as opposed to just engaging in it but I think if you consider your stint here then you've got to be looked on favourably. I'm giving a 7 out of 10 as it's a safe rating for someone of your standard.

To continue the theme from above, over the last four years Toby has bought well with the odd bad purchase upsetting the apple cart somewhat but the quality of those who improved the squad took a good Championship club up via the playoffs and into the Premier League where they have remained ever since. On occasions they flirt with relegation, an outcome that would completely destroy the foundations laid in place but much more likely is the possibility of securing a European place via the domestic cups or fair play as although there's stronger teams in front, Tobias FC has the potential to shock on a biweekly basis. 8 out of 10.

Trancemeister

Seems to be firmly rooted to the FM section at present which is a good thing but as far as TTH goes, doesn't seem to venture away from the games and football talk. This could mean that he's limited in his interests or that he's just got nothing to add. Fairly mature and unlikely to cause any controvesery on the forum in general (although am I wrong in thinking you were TTGB?) I'd like to see more in the hope that he has more up his sleeve but he seems content in his posting style. 6 out of 10 as far as TTH is concerned.

Not entirely sure anymore Trance so I'll keep it short and sweet. 6 out of 10 but will be changed next time these heap of shits pop up.

Vercetti

I miss Pards. I like him because he's easy going, he can contribute if needed, he can add humour when necessary and I think the board would improve slightly if he were to return on a regular basis. I'd also like to know more about him personally as he seems to be a rather private person and either stalked or rejected us in 2005(?) at the download festival. Either way, I hope all is well with you and you're happy doing whatever it is you're doing at present.

I'd like you to return but since that's only ever fleetingly, I'm just going to avoid rating you, tell you I miss you (again!) and crack on. I'm getting giddy you see at the thought of almost finishing.

Vim

You're hoping to get a good rating because you were egging me on aren't you...;)....well, I'm going to give you a bonus point for massaging my ego but with some words of advice. Reading your posts is quite easy, you get to the point but you post far too many throwaway comments in various threads and that's a bad sign as far as I'm concerned.

I'd like you to be more detailed and express yourself more but I fear you may be stuck in your own ways. Originally I was going to give you a six but the bonus point pushes you up to a 7 out of 10. Be warned though, lack of improvement will see a vastly reduced one next time round.

I'm giving you a 7 out of 10 again Vim but without the bonus point. You're a good member to have around the place and the throwaway comment thing doesn't even bother me anymore. You heeded my warning, I can tell.

Winston

Top marks for attempting the Italy gig, that's such a respectable thing to do and one that I admire because I know how hard it can be to raise money for charity especially when you get idiots suggesting you're only doing it for your own ego because you 'selfishly' told others what you were doing etc.

In some ways I wish I was a little like you. You had a poor period where you got fucked over by your mrs but instead of wallowing in self pity you decided to say fuck it, I'm going to do this, and gave it a good go. Fuck your contributions in TTH, I'm giving you an 8 out of 10 regardless. You haven't posted in ages but you're a good guy in my book.

Yeah, nowt changes. You had a name change by any chance? Either that or you've up and left on some other adventure. Hope all is well.

Wullie

I'm sure I remember once upon a time where you were the flavour of the month. I don't think that's the case anymore so I had to check out some recent posts and yeah, you've still got the ability to make me crack a smile. That's a good sign.

I'd be inclined to give you a higher rating if you posted more to my interests but that's more a selfish indulgance(?) and nothing you can help. I think an overall rating of 7 out of 10 is sufficient enough and hopefully I can appreciate your humour more should I return to the forum on a more regular basis.

You're a funny member but it's going to take more than that to improve on your seven. Much of what I said above still holds true today so I might compile you a list of my interests so you can spread the wealth a little bit.

Yevrah

I mentioned certain members were in League Two, the Championship or the Conference. Yev, you're one of a select few to be in the top four. You're a fixture of the forum and have offered more than most put together. I wouldn't say you can do no wrong but you're easily in the top five posters and whilst I said Elth will get my only nine, I did forget about you and so here's the second. 9 out of 10. KUTGW boss.

For me and my man crush, Yevrah has replaced SG as the main man here. 10 out 10. Superb member.

Zimidy

You iritate me but you have improved a little. I think you just need to take a step back and think what you want to use this forum for. If you want to use it by being a cretin with the Villa bullshit then you'll be remembered for it and it'll stick. If you want to be a respected member (when I say respected I use it loosely) then you really need to play ball and contribute more maturely as you've obviously got it in you judging from some of the posts you make. With all this considered, I'm giving you a 5 out of 10 but you have plenty of time to improve. I only hope you do as I think you could add to the place in your own little way.

I'm going to begrudgingly give you a 6.5 Zim as although you do irritate me when you're on one, you're decent when you're not. Still a good improvement nonetheless.

zink

searching through your posts i actually found a capital letter which was a bit of a shock to the system. i dont think your bothered enough about this place to put much of an effort in to improve certain aspects of the forum but thats ok because your ok. you're a midtable championship side in my opinion but with a few decent signings you'd make a good push for the play-offs. it is going to have to be a 5 out of 10 though zink.

I can't add much more zink except a capital letter at the beginning of this statement. Hope all is well squire.