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Bernanke
25-09-2015, 11:44 PM
The thread for Ailments, Bouts, Conditions, and Diseases. Or for some of you, Disorders.

This is where you complain about that new STD you contracted, or discuss the Don's skin discolouration.

Anyway, a few months back I wrote a bit about removing a pilonidal cyst and all the joy that brought me. Turns out having an open wound for healing comes with a few risks, and a month ago I got a really bad case of sepsis. I had flu like symptoms for about a week before almost collapsing during one of my regular visits. Spent 10 days in the hospital on antibiotics and morphine. The infection was located in my left hip, so I also had three surgeries. Lost 2,5 muscles in the lateral rotator group, they were completely dead. Luckily, it was still very limited in terms of spread. Shit could've gotten really bad.

I had someone tell me a few years ago that the first sign of getting old is getting injured and then never having it heal. Feels good to reach that at 23. :nono:

Currently doing some rehab at home, and walked 200m without crutches today. It's insane how fast your overall physical form deteriorates though, I'm 182 and went from 67 kilos to under 61 in just those 10 days. I get exhausted just going up the stairs or standing for too long now. :facepalm:

Lewis
25-09-2015, 11:53 PM
The worst part of your really quite horrendous ordeal is that when somebody asks what happens you'll have to explain how it all started with an arse problem.

Bernanke
25-09-2015, 11:54 PM
I think I'll go with "lower back" going forward.

Lewis
25-09-2015, 11:58 PM
'So, yeah, if you could just help me up these stairs lads...'
':serious:'

phonics
26-09-2015, 12:05 AM
I'm going to ask again. I felt like I sprained my wrist 2 weekends ago and now I get pains up my fingers everyonce in a whle as well as occasional other pains. Should I have it checked out?

Spammer
11-11-2015, 11:26 AM
I've just shat out a perfectly formed piece of chicken. What does this mean?

Giggles
11-11-2015, 11:27 AM
I've just shat out a perfectly formed piece of chicken. What does this mean?

Stick to giving at those sex cults.

randomlegend
11-11-2015, 11:32 AM
I'm going to ask again. I felt like I sprained my wrist 2 weekends ago and now I get pains up my fingers everyonce in a whle as well as occasional other pains. Should I have it checked out?

Prolly, yeah.

My list of diagnoses simply grows by the day. I've got this:

http://emedicine.medscape.com/article/88014-overview

now as well.

Boydy
11-11-2015, 11:34 AM
Prolly, yeah.

My list of diagnoses simply grows by the day. I've got this:

http://emedicine.medscape.com/article/88014-overview

now as well.

"CECS is characterized by exercise-induced pain that is relieved by rest."

What exercise have you been doing? I thought your wreck of a body wasn't up to any?

Giggles
11-11-2015, 11:36 AM
I can't get a diagnosis at all for my problems. To be honest at this stage I'm just going to have to live with it until I drop and they can maybe find out then.

Spammer
11-11-2015, 11:39 AM
Stick to giving at those sex cults.

That's getting a bit boring now, to be honest.

Giggles
11-11-2015, 11:42 AM
That's getting a bit boring now, to be honest.

That's where you've to be careful not to go into the kiddie rooms.

randomlegend
11-11-2015, 11:47 AM
"CECS is characterized by exercise-induced pain that is relieved by rest."

What exercise have you been doing? I thought your wreck of a body wasn't up to any?

I play badminton at a decently high level 2-3 times a week.

Benny
11-11-2015, 11:48 AM
I've got man flu, probably the manliest flu you've ever known.

randomlegend
11-11-2015, 11:49 AM
Men actually do get worse colds, FACHT.

Spammer
11-11-2015, 11:53 AM
That's where you've to be careful not to go into the kiddie rooms.

You want to go, just admit it. You wouldn't bring it up out of the blue otherwise.

Giggles
11-11-2015, 11:59 AM
You want to go, just admit it. You wouldn't bring it up out of the blue otherwise.

No it was just fresh in my head from the paedo thread last night. I'll probably forget or think it was someone else by tomorrow.

Lewis
11-11-2015, 12:03 PM
If ever somebody was ON THE ROPES. Keep pushing, Francis.

Giggles
11-11-2015, 12:18 PM
If ever somebody was ON THE ROPES. Keep pushing, Francis.

At least pepe would give a bit of jip back or call me a cunt or something.

Manc
11-11-2015, 12:33 PM
Best of luck with the recovery, Bernanke.

Sciatica is my one and only problem at the moment.

Magic
11-11-2015, 01:12 PM
I think you'll find the ABCD(E) model belongs to us psychologists, you cunt.

leedsrevolution
11-11-2015, 01:32 PM
My illnesses are mainly all mental. Which is nice because they won't kill me although I often think everything is.

Giggles
11-11-2015, 01:35 PM
My illnesses are mainly all mental. Which is nice because they won't kill me although I often think everything is.

I always get the impression that's what the doctors think my issue is too.

Jimmy Floyd
25-11-2015, 01:56 AM
I put my back out like an absolute twat this evening carrying a heavy table. It didn't seem too bad at the time, but since I went to bed it's seized up and anything other than lying flat on my back now involves unbearable pain (even lying flat isn't great). I have an incredibly high pain threshold as well.

I just managed to struggle downstairs like some sort of zombie frankenstein, in total agony to desperately rummage through the medical box for a painkiller and eventually found some pathetic Nurofen which were shoved down the hatch with the wanton greed of a paedophile in a primary school just before the apocalypse. I can only see it getting worse, and horrendously stiff, by morning.

What do I do? The Koreans will have me shot if I call in sick because of a physical injury. I mean that genuinely too, well, not the firing squad obviously, but you have to be dying of cancer for my boss to look kindly upon any form of sick leave, never mind some external shit like this. 'Going off sick is cheating the company,' as she puts it. But I can't fucking move.

Lewis
25-11-2015, 02:02 AM
It will be worse tomorrow, and every little movement you make will set it off.

Jimmy Floyd
25-11-2015, 02:06 AM
It's already at that stage, so at the moment my best strategy is not to sleep. In reality though this will just mean I'm both in pain and incredibly tired.

I might try and struggle into work (normally I walk an hour to get there, so lol) groaning with every movement and see how long it takes them to either suggest remedies, send me home or indeed notice at all.

Lewis
25-11-2015, 02:12 AM
It will still get worse. I posted this when Fox did his back in seven months ago:


I strained my back at the gym in late 2013, and it really is the worst thing in the world. You can't sleep on your side, you can't pick things up or slouch in your chair, and even walking down the stairs too quickly judders right up your legs. I woke up needing a wee, sat up without remembering to keep my back dead straight, and just blacked out.

When I came round on my floor (it can only have been seconds) I pissed in a cup, because there was no way I was making it to the bathroom, and I ended up knocking it over trying to get back into bed. My copy of Alexander P. de Seversky's Victory Through Air Power still has specks of piss on the cover.

Jimmy Floyd
25-11-2015, 02:32 AM
It hurts to do literally anything at the moment, including laugh at that post. I can barely breathe when I attempt to walk.

The injury was inflicted trying to lift a long table over a portable fucking sandpit with three dolls lying in it, one of which was black. FOR FUCK'S SAKE.

Lewis
25-11-2015, 03:02 AM
Try not to get showered for a couple of days as well. That's a nightmare.

Spammer
25-11-2015, 03:26 AM
Got lurgy. My 100% attendance record at work is shattered. Can't fucking sleep.

Davgooner
25-11-2015, 07:59 AM
One of our site bods declared he had 'man flu' the other day. It was top bantz.

It's proper shambolic.

Lee
25-11-2015, 08:31 AM
Lauren's dad had heart attack in the early hours. Fucking hell. We think he's over the worst but he's still in a shit way as is Lauren. I'm having the day (at least) off work, firstly to catch up on some sleep then go back to the hospital.

Lauren was out at a Christmas party and nobody could get her so I took the call and at the time it sounded like he was fucked. I was dreading having to break that news to her but fortunately it hasn't ended that way. And thankfully she wasn't pissed when I got to her at the party.

He looks like shit. It's a good job he was already in hospital. He only had a bypass a year ago so this is a bit of a surprise. Looks like a chest infection might have brought it on. This is really scary and I really thought he was a goner at one point.

Jimmy Floyd
25-11-2015, 08:36 AM
Had 3 hours' sleep, sat up in the wrong direction, screamed in pain in a manner that probably woke up all of Surrey. Then showered, got dressed, walked 4 miles to work and here I am, hard as fucking nails.

Expecting to faint any time now.

EDIT: Jesus wept Jim.

Baz
25-11-2015, 08:58 AM
Hope your backs alright, mate.

Magic
25-11-2015, 09:11 AM
Had 3 hours' sleep, sat up in the wrong direction, screamed in pain in a manner that probably woke up all of Surrey. Then showered, got dressed, walked 4 miles to work and here I am, hard as fucking nails.

Expecting to faint any time now.

EDIT: Jesus wept Jim.

You're turning in to a Korean.

Jimmy Floyd
25-11-2015, 09:17 AM
I messaged my sister as she knows stretches etc for this kind of thing, and she said I should have stayed at home. Bollocks to that.

Lee
25-11-2015, 03:03 PM
Looks like he's going to be okay, although we are bemused as to why this has happened only 12 months on from a bypass. He's just been asleep for most of the day. I'm shattered. And hospitals are fucking boring as a visitor.

randomlegend
25-11-2015, 03:11 PM
They are even more fucking boring as a patient.

Disco
25-11-2015, 04:00 PM
One of my best friends has been diagnosed with something I'm going to refer to as a glioma, mainly because it sounds less like a death sentence than saying brain tumour.

This is a shit week.

phonics
25-11-2015, 04:02 PM
That sucks SD :(

All my well wishes.

McAvennie
25-11-2015, 05:17 PM
Sorry to hear about Lauren's dad Lee. I know he's been through the heart stuff before, and that you work in hospital so have access to advice if needed, but if I can help at all drop me a message here and I'll do my best to unravel the mysteries of all things cardiac.

Lewis
25-11-2015, 05:23 PM
I was sweating on his behalf half-way through that ('I know he's been...') until I realised who it was.

Boydy
25-11-2015, 05:32 PM
You what, Lewis?

Lewis
25-11-2015, 05:35 PM
The first half of that posts reads like he knows Fox personally.

Boydy
25-11-2015, 05:42 PM
I suppose it does a bit but Lee's told us all that stuff that makes it seem familiar.

Who is McAvennie from the old board anyway? Just a lurker with the same name who decided to start posting?

Lee
25-11-2015, 06:02 PM
I'm guessing Miroc who I believe is a consultant cardiologist.

I've already called one of the cardiologists at my place I know quite well and he has been helpful, but thank you for the offer anyway.

ScousePig
25-11-2015, 10:37 PM
Pulled my thigh/quad a few weeks ago playing football and haven't kicked a ball since. I trained tonight to test it and it's no better than when I did it. First 10 yard pass I felt a big jolt of pain right in the affected area.

It's right near the top of my thigh and at the very front. A google search suggests it's my Rectus Femoris muscle but really I'm just guessing. I can jog okay but kicking a ball is pretty much impossible, even getting back up from a kneel when I'm stretching it is difficult enough.

ScousePig
25-11-2015, 10:44 PM
It will still get worse. I posted this when Fox did his back in seven months ago:



When I came round on my floor (it can only have been seconds) I pissed in a cup, because there was no way I was making it to the bathroom, and I ended up knocking it over trying to get back into bed. My copy of Alexander P. de Seversky's Victory Through Air Power still has specks of piss on the cover.

Yep, it's horrendous. I had sciatica last year which was bad enough, but when I was a teenager I properly did my back in playing football. I remember getting home and trying to run a bath and I couldn't move a muscle or literally have the strength to turn the taps. That was a very slow process which involved physiotherapy to strengthen my lower back, as at the time I was skinny and it arched in quite spectacularly.

ScousePig
25-11-2015, 10:47 PM
I messaged my sister as she knows stretches etc for this kind of thing, and she said I should have stayed at home. Bollocks to that.

http://www.whyiexercise.com/images/back.strengthening.exercises.routine1.jpg

Number 2 'bridging' was the best one for me. Get into that position and lift one leg and straighten it level with the rest of your torso, and hold for 20 seconds. I did three sets on each leg.

McAvennie
26-11-2015, 06:52 AM
I'm guessing Miroc who I believe is a consultant cardiologist.

I've already called one of the cardiologists at my place I know quite well and he has been helpful, but thank you for the offer anyway.

Yeah it's me, just showing my old school West Ham alliegances with the new name. I run cardiac departments for a living, but I'm not a doctor.

Never fear though, I shall be retaining my uber-lurker status

Alan Shearer The 2nd
26-11-2015, 08:05 AM
Does anyone else have an almost permanently blocked nose to a degree? Not a cold, just consistently restricted breathing. On the rare occasion I'm not blocked up, only one nostril at a time is ever clear, never both.

I got a nasal spray to try from the doctor and it's done absolutely fuck all. I've been like this all my life and never thought anything of it until the Mrs. pointed it out.

Lee
12-12-2015, 06:39 PM
My left groin is a fuckng mess. Last week a massive boil exploded out of nowhere. It burst on Thirsday and has left an open sore. I have some dressing from work but it's not doing a lot. Last night in the shower I found a lump in the same groin close to my ball sack. My first thought was "fuck, cancer". I pissed around with the lump a bit and decided it was just a spot. It has now gone red and itches like fuck. The area stinks as well.

Christ knows why this has happened. I've been making sure to walk at least 5k per day so I dunno if this is the result of some chafing gone mental. I'm going to lie in the bath for a bit after the football and hope that helps.

Magic
12-12-2015, 06:40 PM
Pics?

CJay
14-01-2016, 10:14 AM
Anyone know if it's possible to fracture something in your foot but still be able to stand / walk / put pressure on it, albeit with mild to severe pain? There's no visible signs of a problem i.e bruising, but it's been 5 days now and it feels no better. Nearly drew tears trying to walk from the takeaway to my car last night. A trip to the doctor is in order, methinks.

John Arne
14-01-2016, 10:19 AM
You can crack/fracture your heel and not notice any visible problems, but it will continue to get worse, whilst also still be walkable on.