What's your local crazy person like?

[Offshore Toon]

In Jersey there's an old woman called Crazy Joyce that rides around on a bike shouting at kids to "FUCK OFF!"

Then there's Hole-in-the-face Girl who has a hole in her face and goes around bin picking, though apparently she comes from a very rich family.

There are definitely more, so I'll try to remember them.

[Magic]

Well, this is going to end well.

[Giggles]

I don't know or pay attention to anyone around here.

[Pepe]

:henn0rz:

[Disco]

I live on a quiet crescent in Buckley, N.Wales and there's this odd chap doing wrestling promos in his front garden.

[Offshore Toon]

I don't know or pay attention to anyone around here.
Just say Henry.

[Adamski]

I live on a quiet crescent in Buckley, N.Wales and there's this odd chap doing wrestling promos in his front garden.

Look back out now and he'll be a silhouette.

[Disco]

Look back out now and he'll be a silhouette.

Nah it's fine, looks like he's packing for a holiday or something.

[Pen]

I live on a quiet crescent in Buckley, N.Wales and there's this odd chap doing wrestling promos in his front garden.


We've got some fucked up Liverpool fan who runs around town thinking he's Danny Murphy. He was well liked when the real Murphy was scoring winners against Man United but it all went down hill thereafter.

I think you two are talking about the same person.

[Mike]

Johnny Wellies
http://www.sthelensstar.co.uk/resources/images/3062360.jpg

[Samadini]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gGH5cu-4z1Q

[Disco]

Johnny Wellies
http://www.sthelensstar.co.uk/resources/images/3062360.jpg

I'm more disappointed than I should be that he's isn't in fact wearing wellies.

[wullie]

There's an academic who's not actually crazy but looks the part. He's in his 80s, practically blind and walks around barefoot in what are basically denim hotpants. He was actually on the books of one of those talent agencies for 'interesting' looking people and has played castaways and tramps in loads of stuff, Fifth Element was one.

[Dark Soldier]

The don

http://i.imgur.com/rDAIhQk.jpg

[Mike]

Was super scary when I was a kid 'purple aki is coming after school'.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Probably this guy:


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tcChl6QldkI

I'm not in the town enough to know the current mental ones but there were some crackers when I was at school.

Guy who kept riding the bus whilst shitting himself and the guy who had a brain tumour so would constantly talk to everyone about anything were probably the highlights.

[Lewis]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gGH5cu-4z1Q

I used to stand and watch him for ages. Have you seen the Asian Elvis impersonator who works closer to the arcade?

[Disco]

We loved him so much we left him homeless and riddled with alcoholism.

[Offshore Toon]

Purple Aki is the ultimate tbh. That bloke who ran on to the train tracks because of him was an idiot.

[Offshore Toon]

We loved him so much we left him homeless and riddled with alcoholism.
Some of them are about that life, though. There's a tramp in Jersey that turns down food and any offer of help. He's not even a pisshead from what I can tell. He just thrives in car parks.

[Adamski]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z0ZFblAaVbY

Leo :cool:

[Ian]

I remember when I lived in Coventry there was an old guy who used to go down the main roads on a mobility scooter with satanist placards strapped to the side.

No proper crazies near me since they're no longer my neighbours so I'll just ignore that Greenock is miles away and say the Greenock Catman.

[Samadini]

I used to stand and watch him for ages. Have you seen the Asian Elvis impersonator who works closer to the arcade?

He looks sinister as fuck, but I do love just watching him for a good while.

Somehow I've not seen the Asian Elvis yet, but he looks fucking talented, so I'm going to have to seek him out.


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zpvYZNmg_Y0

:cool:

[Yevrah]

Ours is a chap affectionately known as 'karate man'.

He's been around these parts for years, decades probably, has a massive beard and shouts at the voices in his head while practising karate moves.

Which all sounds fine, until he ends up eating a baby.

[randomlegend]

The puppet man is a bit rapey apparently.

[Samadini]

You would never guess.

[John]

The twat in that raver video announcing the title of his video while he's still filming it has annoyed me far more than it should.

[Offshore Toon]

I remember when I lived in Coventry there was an old guy who used to go down the main roads on a mobility scooter with satanist placards strapped to the side.

No proper crazies near me since they're no longer my neighbours so I'll just ignore that Greenock is miles away and say the Greenock Catman.
There's a bloke on a mobility scooter that kinda dresses like a pirate in Jersey. There's also a bloke that goes running with two speakers in his hands.

Another absolutely mental guy is a bloke called Stevie Ocean. He thinks he's world famous despite living in a council flat. Some of his Twitter rants are hilarious and there's a Channel 4 documentary about him which is well worth a watch, though he's gotten much worse since. He ran for Senator last year and came last out of 12, but was great craic at the debates.

[McAvennie]

Not local, but my favourite was the Oxford Circus man who wore a sandwich board on which he had written that eating nuts caused an excess of lust, which was going to lead us to a biblical doom.

Top effort

[Spikey M]

Ours is called 'Penny Picker Steve'. He is a bit of a legend on the local club scene (if 3 semi-naked tarts puking up a Starbucks can be called that), he dresses in a Hi-vis and carries around a bucket to pick up / scrounge small change. He can usually be seen inviting people in queues to use his head for target practice, before placing the offending objects in the bucket.

http://boomering.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2012/04/PennyPickerSteve.jpeg

[Offshore Toon]

Bit more on Stevie Ocean.

His LinkedIn page provides great insight into his mind.

https://www.linkedin.com/in/stevie-ocean-31479728/


I WAS DEPUTY GRAND WIZARD TO THE GRAND WIZARD SIMON COWELL OF THE SHOWBIZ RING MY SUCCESSOR IS KEVIN BACON

THE SHOWBIZ RING WAS A SECRET SOCIETY FOUNDED BY THE LATE GREAT MARLON BRANDO WHO WAS LORD OF THE SHOWBIZ RING I WAS INDUCTED BY MARLON BRANDO
PERSONALLY ON 16TH APRIL 2000 I WAS NORMINATED BY PHIL COLLINS THEIR WAS OVER 16,000 APPLICANTS FOR JUST 6 PLACEMENTS I WAS ONE OF THE SIX ALONG WITH
BUZZ ALDRIN,BARBARA WINDSOR,H FROM STEPS,PETER NOONE HERMAN HERMITS BILL ODDIE. I HAD THE GREAT HONOUR OF GETTING TO KNOW MARLON BRANDO FOR THE LAST FOR 4 YEARS OF HIS LIFE
.
WHEN SIMON FINALLY TOOK OVER IN FACT IT WAS A CONTEST AS ,MARLON BRANDO WAS PREPARING ME TO DO JUST THAT LOTS OF MY FELLOW ARTITES WERE VERY ENVOUS OF ME.HOWEVER BECAUSE MARLON WAS SHARING AN APPARTMENT WITH JACK NICHOLSON GOT TO KNOW HIM AS WELL I WANTED TO SAY SO MUCH MORE!

Somebody also told him X Factor were holding YouTube auditions, and since he considers himself to be a famous singer, he went mad for it.


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gBoIBZYu8cI

[Spikey M]

Someone wrote in to my old work place claiming Lee Rigby was still alive and his parents were behind it all. That was a fun day.

[Offshore Toon]

I take it you work for a private detective?

[Spikey M]

Nope. It had nowt to do with anything, it was just chucked in the middle of his letter complaining about Interest levels at his local bank. We could only assume it was intended for him local MP rather than the council.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Private detective is my next career move I think. What better vocation than to sit in your car for six hours watching people have affairs from 100 yards away.

[Spikey M]

How many wanks could you get through in 6 hours though?

[Offshore Toon]

If you really wanted to get inside their minds you'd be looking to climax with them, so it depends on the affair.

[John]

Nope. It had nowt to do with anything, it was just chucked in the middle of his letter complaining about Interest levels at his local bank. We could only assume it was intended for him local MP rather than the council.

In my old job with Barclay's we had a woman writing in to stop a standing order who, when explaining why she wanted it to stop, had a full breakdown on the page over the end of a relationship. It got more and more bonkers until, about a quarter of the way down the second page, it just devolved into drawings of him leaving her, identified as such because the male in all the drawings had a speech bubble that said 'I'm leaving', and the words 'WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS' written over and over. It was actually very disquieting.

[Spikey M]

:D Brilliant.

[Spikey M]

Oh Fuck, I forgot about the guy who didn't want to pay for a TV Licence because the BBC fund the MetOffice and the MetOffice have been experimenting with the weather.

[phonics]

Geneva being a rich city means we have fucking loads of them. All from loaded families that have gone mad, I presume inbreeding.

There's monkey lady who used to have a pet monkey which died so she spends her days riding public transport talking to a toy monkey instead.

There was Boobah who was a massive black dude who got hit in the head with an iron leaving him unable to speak and retarded. He'd hang out at McDonalds all day and sexually harass 14 year olds and laugh very loudly after shoving a straw up their arse. I presume he's been arrested for some sort of sex crime.

There's Boobi who has some connection to the Hilton family but has decided he'd rather live at a bus stop and shout about how the Jews are running the illuminati.

There's an old man who walks around in hot pink everything. Hat, dress, handbag, everything.

There's the guy who hangs out at a specific bus stop and if you don't reply when he says Hello will proceed to cuss you out for the rest of the time you're waiting for the bus stop. And many more...

Back in the U.K. the most famous nutter we had around Farncombe was Disco Dave who would spend his days walking round town dancing to Staying Alive.

[Spikey M]

There's monkey lady who used to have a pet monkey which died so she spends her days riding public transport talking to a toy monkey instead.

On a similar note, we have a (I assume) Cornish lady who has a 'pet' rabbit (It's a Peter the Rabbit teddy) that she introduces to everybody as 'Poldark the Cornish Bunny'. It would be sad, but the accent makes it hilarious.

[Alex]

There's a slightly disquieting lack of crazies in Wakefield these days. Nobody has really stepped up to take over the "local character" mantle that Paul Sykes vacated when he died, which must be a good ten years ago now. I can understand why though, big shoes to fill.


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1fjC3zQu9ds

[summsuccess]

Im sure I saw him in a documentary the other week. Prison bird wasnt he?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A6OeGInog8E

Yeah. Check out my candp job

Didnt know he was dead though.

[Alex]

Im sure I saw him in a documentary the other week. Prison bird wasnt he?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A6OeGInog8E

Yeah. Check out my candp job

Didnt know he was dead though.

Yeah, he was sort of a Charles Bronson type character in his younger days, he had a reputation as a big time hard man and was always in and out of jail. He was a fairly talented boxer by all accounts too, he actually worked his way up to a shot at the British heavyweight title at one point but he lost and I think packed it in not long after.

He was actually a very interesting character, albeit not really a very nice man. The full documentary is well worth a watch. He ended up as a pretty much homeless alcoholic who just wandered the town centre off his head picking fights with people and whatnot. Quite sad really.