Thought Provoking Questions #2* - Choices.

[summsuccess]

You were given two choices but you chose the wrong one. The lesson of that poor decision would never have been learned without choosing the wrong one so did you in fact choose the right all along?

Discuss.

Ideally I would like the members participating to detail what the two choices were and why they chose what they did.

[Disco]

I know this, you ask them what the other guard would say.

[-james-]

Meaningless semantics imo

[Offshore Toon]

Whether to post or not. I chose the wrong one because I've got nothing of worth to add.

[summsuccess]

Meaningless semantics imo

I was hoping for something with a bit more substance than that dino. When I started my first business idea for example I made so many mistakes that led almost left me bankrupt but if I never did it then I wouldnt run my own classes now as I wouldnt have had the lessons it taught me. I spent years thinking it was the biggest mistake of my life but then without it I wouldnt be where I am today.

[Boydy]

What was your business?

[Spikey M]

I have never been good at stuff like this. It is scaled at around the same level as 'everything happens for a reason' on my cringe-ometer. However, I'll take a run at it;

1) If I make a decision and it's the wrong one, yeah, lesson learned, but I'm still going to regret doing the wrong thing. That's what regret is for - Regretting stuff.

2) People repeat mistakes whether they regret their previous actions or not. Some learn to better themselves, sure, but most of us don't.

[summsuccess]

What was your business?

My first was selling stuff at festivals. I would go around buying stuff in bulk and try selling it for a profit in car boot type way as people went to festivals, kegs of beer, spare clothing, wipes etc but I put all my eggs in one basket and ended up not only having a lot of stock I couldnt shift as organisers were a bit pissed but a lot of laws I was unknowingly breaking at the time. In my defence I was only around 20 at the time. I thought I had it all sussed.

The whole username comes from such endeavours. Summsuccess.

[Henry]

In the words of someone smarter than me, the proposition in this thread is not even wrong.

That is, it makes no sense. It's like claiming that everything you say is a lie.

[summsuccess]

What do you mean Henry?

[summsuccess]

Look at it in this way.
You have a drug addict who has been clean for six months.
He cleans and finds some old drugs. He knows he shouldnt take it because of how good he has felt since stopping.
But then he cant help himself and takes it.
Wrong choice.
The effect of the drug though reminds him of what he used to feel like and because he now knows the feeling of being drug free too he knows what he prefers.
He failed the test of not taking the drug. It was his choice.
But by taking the drug he reminded himself why he is no longer taking drugs any more and never touched them again.
Was that the right choice or the wrong choice?

[Spikey M]

It was the wrong choice. Had he made the right choice he wouldn't have needed the fucking lesson.

[summsuccess]

But the wrong choice led them to the right choice.
A drug addict who relapses usually find themselves right back in the thick of it.
But in this instance taking another hit or whatever reminded them that they dont want to be that person anymore.
And they remained drug free forever more.

Was that still the wrong choice even though it led them to a better choice long term?

[Spikey M]

That makes no sense at all. By that logic someone who fucks up left, right and centre has made better choices than someone who has only ever made perfect choices.

[summsuccess]

I would argue that that is actually true. The person who knows failure values success more than he who hasnt only ever succeeded. No?
If fucking up left right and centre made your choices better than the person who made the perfect choice then long terms I would say that stands you in a better position.

[Spikey M]

I think we're far too far apart to agree on this. It's a question of outlook, I guess, and my glasses don't come in that tint.

[summsuccess]

Has it provoked a thought? The pregnant woman could have had an abortion because her kid had a high chance of being disabled or deformed whilst risking her own death. She chose not to for one reason or another. The kid turned out healthy and fine then later on became Mother Theresa. Was it the right decision not to have an abortion or the wrong one given she had no idea of the outcome. Alternatively, the child turned out to be Hitler and not Theresa.

[Magic]

He's trying to justify smoking weed and minimise getting sacked from something he obviously enjoyed. Take responsibility.

[Spikey M]

Has it provoked a thought? The pregnant woman could have had an abortion because her kid had a high chance of being disabled or deformed whilst risking her own death. She chose not to for one reason or another. The kid turned out healthy and fine then later on became Mother Theresa. Was it the right decision not to have an abortion or the wrong one given she had no idea of the outcome. Alternatively, the child turned out to be Hitler and not Theresa.

Not really. 'Shit happens' sometimes we choose well, sometimes we don't. I don't feel the need to tack a watery life lesson on to it.

[summsuccess]

Not really. 'Shit happens' sometimes we choose well, sometimes we don't. I don't feel the need to tack a watery life lesson on to it.

Not exactly what I was hoping for. I was looking for members to come up a choice they made that was wrong at the time but proved to be right in the long run and was hoping for a few surprises if anything.

I shall up my game for series #3.

[Raoul Duke]

Also, I know that drinking a pint of bleach would be a bad idea, regardless of what I'd "learn" from doing so.

You wouldn't be wiser than someone who didn't, you'd just have mulch for lungs and an aversion to stairs.

[summsuccess]

Hmm. Perhaps my examples are poor ones having read that one Raoul Duke.
Or Ive got it mixed up somewhere as when I read a similar thread it gained much more conversation like the first instalment.

[Raoul Duke]

TTH's default setting is MAXIMUM SNARK, so something like this won't really fly.

Have you considered topics such as Paul Ince, Robert Mugabe and or moon dust/craters?

[Boydy]

Free will is an illusion.

[Raoul Duke]

Free Willy is an illusion.

[summsuccess]

TTH's default setting is MAXIMUM SNARK, so something like this won't really fly.

Have you considered topics such as Paul Ince, Robert Mugabe and or moon dust/craters?

I was going to go with the tried and tested brown bread or white bread but I thought that would have been playing it too safe. Whats on your desk has been done to the death. Whats in your wallet would be boring. Could try a whats in your basement thread but I fear for the answers.

[Magic]

Free will is an illusion.

Mahow agrees.

[Adamski]

I hate this cunt.

[summsuccess]

You should reserve your hate for more important things in life.

http://mlb.mlb.com/images/9/1/6/180254916/052516_tb_morrison_doublebathit_med_oovzs8ks.gif

I bat hate right out the park you rotting piece of roadkill.

[Adamski]

I wasn't talking about you but nice ego.

[Magic]

I too bat hate away like an old man with a newspaper.

[summsuccess]

But still piss yourself in airports. :D
Lets hate hate together.

[Magic]

I wish I could piss myself in an airport.

[Lewis]

Mahow agrees.

:lol:

[Lewis]

Actually, no. You go too far, Magic.

[Magic]

FFS apology PM'd.

[Spammer]

I followed this lass I was close mates with to Oxford because I was in (unrequited, it turned out) love with her. We'd fooled around a bit and I was under the wrong impression that it would turn into something more after we graduated, so I applied for a PGCE in the same city she was going to pretty much purely for that reason. There's a lot more to it than that but that's probably the best summary I'll give.

The whole thing was seriously fucking messed up, and I ended up having a kitchen floor reset, as Russell Kane calls it. A kitchen floor reset which is when you move out of your parents' gaff thinking you're free but then within a few years manage to fuck your life up so much that you end up back there crying in a ball on their kitchen floor. I didn't literally cry because I’m solid, it sums it up about right.

I was in a seriously bad way, and had left PGCE by deferring it until the following year, despite having been three weeks into the course. All of a sudden I was living with my parents and working at Morrison's, which is what I did before doing my BA. For the first couple of months I was such a mess that I did well to not get kicked out of Morrison's in honesty, as I was so fucking mashed in the head that I could hardly even concentrate on putting boxes on shelves. I don't know how you define a 'mental breakdown' exactly but i can't have been far off.

I don't really agree with the phrasing of the question. It was a fucking stupid series of decisions that lead to me going down there, but if I see it all as a learning experience (which I do) then it is probably one of the most important things that happened to me, as the following year gave me a chance to seriously reassess what I find most important in my life and in my friends and in how I want to go about things. I needed to think hard about those things because it hadn't been working for me for a long time, and it probably took something traumatic to shunt me into gear and start asking myself some serious questions about what I'm here for and how I want to live.

So yeah, make of that what you will.

[Magic]

Do you feel that you're over your mental breakdown now?

[igor_balis]

To give a serious answer, I really fucked up university from a social perspective. I made barely any mates, spent a huge amount of time in my grotty flat playing fm and lurking on places like here. My confidence was very low and I was pretty lonely and bitter at the world. I learned eventually that I had to force myself to make an effort with people, take risks and generally just be less of a cunt to people. I used to be quite aloof and arrogant and grumpy in social situations, and now I'm not. I'm actually quite glad on balance with how things went, and I think I needed the uni experience to figure that out.

[summsuccess]

I followed this lass I was close mates with to Oxford because I was in (unrequited, it turned out) love with her. We'd fooled around a bit and I was under the wrong impression that it would turn into something more after we graduated, so I applied for a PGCE in the same city she was going to pretty much purely for that reason. There's a lot more to it than that but that's probably the best summary I'll give.

The whole thing was seriously fucking messed up, and I ended up having a kitchen floor reset, as Russell Kane calls it. A kitchen floor reset which is when you move out of your parents' gaff thinking you're free but then within a few years manage to fuck your life up so much that you end up back there crying in a ball on their kitchen floor. I didn't literally cry because I’m solid, it sums it up about right.

I was in a seriously bad way, and had left PGCE by deferring it until the following year, despite having been three weeks into the course. All of a sudden I was living with my parents and working at Morrison's, which is what I did before doing my BA. For the first couple of months I was such a mess that I did well to not get kicked out of Morrison's in honesty, as I was so fucking mashed in the head that I could hardly even concentrate on putting boxes on shelves. I don't know how you define a 'mental breakdown' exactly but i can't have been far off.

I don't really agree with the phrasing of the question. It was a fucking stupid series of decisions that lead to me going down there, but if I see it all as a learning experience (which I do) then it is probably one of the most important things that happened to me, as the following year gave me a chance to seriously reassess what I find most important in my life and in my friends and in how I want to go about things. I needed to think hard about those things because it hadn't been working for me for a long time, and it probably took something traumatic to shunt me into gear and start asking myself some serious questions about what I'm here for and how I want to live.

So yeah, make of that what you will.

Thanks for your honesty Hammer although not entirely what I was aiming for. To me that just sounds like a life lesson, a young man taking off from home believing he knows it all (I think weve all been there when young and naive) and blinded by his love for a woman. Love does makes people act in crazy ways and I imagine your parents warned you beforehand? You fucked it and went back home with tail between legs. (Kitchen floor reset. Never heard of it but I get it) Months away from the supposed love of your life enabled you to open your eyes somewhat and realise what an idiotic decision it was.
I write that down actually and maybe it is what I mean. A really poor decision that turned out to be the best decision. I think I have phrased the question wrong.

[summsuccess]

To give a serious answer, I really fucked up university from a social perspective. I made barely any mates, spent a huge amount of time in my grotty flat playing fm and lurking on places like here. My confidence was very low and I was pretty lonely and bitter at the world. I learned eventually that I had to force myself to make an effort with people, take risks and generally just be less of a cunt to people. I used to be quite aloof and arrogant and grumpy in social situations, and now I'm not. I'm actually quite glad on balance with how things went, and I think I needed the uni experience to figure that out.

Thank You Igor. Do you think you would have figured it out without the university experience?
Were getting somewhere now people. :)

[Spammer]

Thanks for your honesty Hammer although not entirely what I was aiming for. To me that just sounds like a life lesson, a young man taking off from home believing he knows it all (I think weve all been there when young and naive) and blinded by his love for a woman. Love does makes people act in crazy ways and I imagine your parents warned you beforehand? You fucked it and went back home with tail between legs. (Kitchen floor reset. Never heard of it but I get it) Months away from the supposed love of your life enabled you to open your eyes somewhat and realise what an idiotic decision it was.
I write that down actually and maybe it is what I mean. A really poor decision that turned out to be the best decision. I think I have phrased the question wrong.

It wasn't so much the love thing itself (although that is a part of it) but more than anything it was the isolation of having a seriously difficult time with my mental health and realising who stuck around with that. Most of my mates at university (who knew the lass also) kinda stayed in touch but generally kept their distance, while a lot of other people just backed the fuck off. A few of my closest friends (and a couple from uni) didn't know what to do but showed they gave a shit about me even if I wasn't much fun, which made a big difference. After that I basically value my friendships on how likely people will be to be there again if it happened again. I seriously doubt it will get that bad again as it was just a traumatic experience rather than something chronic, but still. I don't just want to be mates with people I can have a laugh with, but also who'll stick around when the shit hits the fan.

[igor_balis]

Thank You Igor. Do you think you would have figured it out without the university experience?
Were getting somewhere now people. :)

No, I don't think so. I'd always made plenty of friends despite being a weirdo before university because it just feels like with the quantity of people at school you just end up making friends with similar people by default, so prior to uni I'd simply never needed to not be a twat.

When I moved to Edinburgh, I messaged a girl who was a year below me at school who I didn't know at all, but had added on facebook for some reason (based on when we'd become friends, I think I added her drunkenly because I fancied her when I was in sixth form but never spoke to her) who lived in Edinburgh, just asking for advice on good nights out and suggesting going for a pint. We did have that pint, and ended up really good friends because of it, and I've have never done that before my post-uni "revelation".

[Spammer]

Do you feel that you're over your mental breakdown now?

I moved home in September and I was generally OK by about April/May.

[Adamski]

At some point Cinderella needs to come home and ruin this party ffs.

[Magic]

At some point Cinderella needs to come home and ruin this party ffs.

Shut it you bottydrip, the fragiles are having it out.

[summsuccess]

It wasn't so much the love thing itself (although that is a part of it) but more than anything it was the isolation of having a seriously difficult time with my mental health and realising who stuck around with that. Most of my mates at university (who knew the lass also) kinda stayed in touch but generally kept their distance, while a lot of other people just backed the fuck off. A few of my closest friends (and a couple from uni) didn't know what to do but showed they gave a shit about me even if I wasn't much fun, which made a big difference. After that I basically value my friendships on how likely people will be to be there again if it happened again. I seriously doubt it will get that bad again as it was just a traumatic experience rather than something chronic, but still.

You do learn a lot in times of need and the friends/family you can rely on. When I was close to declaring bankruptcy I was ashamed what others would think because its a big of a shit thing and I had borrowed money off loads of people to get my business up and running but instead of telling them I just pretended that everything was OK. Then the repayments were due and obviously things started to unravel and very fast. In the end a friend I had borrowed some off bailed me out so I didnt have to declare myself (if I knew what I knew now I wouldnt have had it all in my name but the businesses). A few years later the friends who stood by me benefited of my next venture and I made sure they knew it. Some disowned me after the first which was sad as I never thought a relationship should be bounded money but as much as they helped at the time and my mistakes led to them losing money initially, it showed me that some people only wanted to be part of your life when you were something, never when you were nothing.

[igor_balis]

Shut it you bottydrip, the fragiles are having it out.

exactly! let team sensitive have our lil bit of a wanky self-indulgence for a bit Adamski. I'll back to my usual top top posting soon enough xx

[summsuccess]

No, I don't think so. I'd always made plenty of friends despite being a weirdo before university because it just feels like with the quantity of people at school you just end up making friends with similar people by default, so prior to uni I'd simply never needed to not be a twat.

When I moved to Edinburgh, I messaged a girl who was a year below me at school who I didn't know at all, but had added on facebook for some reason (based on when we'd become friends, I think I added her drunkenly because I fancied her when I was in sixth form but never spoke to her) who lived in Edinburgh, just asking for advice on good nights out and suggesting going for a pint. We did have that pint, and ended up really good friends because of it, and I've have never done that before my post-uni "revelation".
Sir Andy Mahowry. You could learn from this me old mucker.

You should realise in future if you dont already Igor that a lot of people are uncomfortable stepping out of there comfort zone. Its like the guy in a nightclub, if he stands in a corner you might see him as unapproachable. He might see himself as shy and too scared to mingle. Someone has to break the ice eventually and whats the worst that could happen? She says no to the pint.

Then ofcourse you block the shit out of that bitch. :huhu:

[Adamski]

exactly! let team sensitive have our lil bit of a wanky self-indulgence for a bit Adamski. I'll back to my usual top top posting soon enough xx

Just kidding bro I love you x

[Magic]

Just kidding bro I love you x

Wooft. Felt that from here igor_balis