Eurovision Song Contest 2017

[Offshore Toon]

It's this Saturday! I personally think its one of the best nights of TV so I'm pretty excited.

Where's that mad Dutch cunt who went mad for it?

[Offshore Toon]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JH5qLvmessE

This is the Brexit anthem. Not very fitting tbh.

[Offshore Toon]

United Kingdom at 60/1 on Betfair. That's well worth a lay if you've got thousands of pounds lying about.

[SvN]

Oh my God, I'd forgotten about... Utori was it? Something like that. His rage posting after Eurovision was Yev-after-Algeria like.

[Offshore Toon]

Yeah, something like that. I think he's probably with the Benelux lot. Does anybody have a link to their board?

[summsuccess]

I would like it more if it wasnt just some countries point scoring.

:huhu: See what I did there?

[Shindig]

Was Utori the one that did the big proper rundowns of it or was that Guido?

[CJay]

James is big into it as well, I think, for betting purposes. I quite enjoy having it on during the evening, but I don't have strong feelings about it.

[Offshore Toon]

Was Utori the one that did the big proper rundowns of it or was that Guido?
It was Utori. Or Utotri I think it was.

[Offshore Toon]

Utotri is actually a member.

Last Activity 12-03-2017 10:15 AM

Come back, you weirdo.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

James is big into it as well, I think, for betting purposes. I quite enjoy having it on during the evening, but I don't have strong feelings about it.

Yeah James goes mad for it.

[Offshore Toon]

Wasn't there an upset last year? Not sure James will be too mad for it since 'the bookies never get it wrong' was why it was so attractive. Italy at 1.7 this year. Wonder if DJ Luca is involved.

[CJay]

From last year:


A very good night, though I think it's only about now that the adrenaline is about to dissipate.

:cab:

[Offshore Toon]

I really don't miss those days of betting big.

[SvN]

I remmeber betting £1k on Spain to beat Iraq at the Confederations Cup in 2009. It was the same day I got my results from uni, and I was a nervous wreck walking to campus - and didn't give a shit about my results.

[Jimmy Floyd]

If ever anything can explain why Brexit is good and necessary, this bollocks is it.

[Pleb]

https://youtu.be/Mj6tVGKzfhU

The bookies favourite apparently. No wonder. It mentions a "naked ape dancing" for fuck sake :D

[-james-]

Last year was fucking brilliant but I haven't had the time to get involved this year, and it doesn't look nearly as good in terms of betting. Italy are rightly strong favourite (unlike Russia last year) and should win. I like Armenia as well though.

[7om]

Is it on BBC 1 still? What time is kick off? I'll definitely get this on as I haven't watched it in years. Nice one Offy.

[wullie]

I love Eurovision. We either don't give a shit and send Scooch dressed up as air stewards, or go real and send Darius from Pop Idol to do an earnest acoustic number. The sweet spot is somewhere in the middle that nearly all of Europe tends to inhabit without trying, like the Romanian guy Cezar from a few years ago who's still my all time favourite


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OV3xp5ZXSYA

[Jimmy Floyd]

Bosnia and Herzegovina 2008 is the best entry ever, and I really can't foresee any circumstances in which it will be bettered.

[Offshore Toon]

Is it on BBC 1 still? What time is kick off? I'll definitely get this on as I haven't watched it in years. Nice one Offy.
8pm. Make sure to be online for the official TTH Eurovision party hosted by myself and Pleb.

I love Eurovision. We either don't give a shit and send Scooch dressed up as air stewards, or go real and send Darius from Pop Idol to do an earnest acoustic number. The sweet spot is somewhere in the middle that nearly all of Europe tends to inhabit without trying, like the Romanian guy Cezar from a few years ago who's still my all time favourite


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OV3xp5ZXSYA
That track was so good. That should be the standard all acts aim for.

[-james-]

Azer To Qualify - No is my only bet so far, if anyone is interested. Anything 11/2 + is good.

[wullie]

Did that guy just say they've got some semis for us?

[Pen]

I hope Moldova go through as their effort was the most lol. Eurovision seems a bit boring compared to the best years when every other country seemed to go well over the top without a hint of irony.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Putin fucked it all.

[Pen]

Moldova :cool:

edit: Apparently the sax guy is the same one became an internet meme after the last time he was reppin' Moldova in Eurovision a few years back.

[wullie]

Surprised the Belgian girl went through, she looked almost paralysed by stage fright. Can you get odds on someone fainting during their performance?


RIP Montenegro, you were a shining star that burned out too soon

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/content/dam/tv/2017/05/09/TELEMMGLPICT000128082925-large_trans_NvBQzQNjv4BqBDCnIxthzPLaVuHdTEmpqJRQxF EnemAQdOy_hncTgwo.jpeg

[Offshore Toon]

Scott Mills was on 5live talking about Eurovision this morning so I was a bit worried he'd taken over the commentary. Thankfully its Graham Norton, but RIP Wogan.

[wullie]

Having seen everyone bar the other countries already qualified my favourite for this year is Croatia, featuring a man duetting with himself.


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tkP0xw_i_Ho

[Pleb]

Paddy Power has got the UK to win outright 33/1 with Italy at a batshit odds of 11/8 :cab:

[Offshore Toon]

The Croatian entry was mentioned by Scott Mills, but I'm going to save watching it until tonight.

Who've you got as the winner, Pleb?

[7om]

Who commentates for the BBC after Wogan passed away?

[Offshore Toon]

Who commentates for the BBC after Wogan passed away?
Graham Norton.

[7om]

On first thought Graham Norton sounds like a nightmare but he's probably perfect for modern-day mental Eurovision.

[Offshore Toon]

He's done it since Wogan and he's actually quite good.

[Offshore Toon]

A mate has just messaged me saying he's in Brighton and asked to go for a few drinks. Kinda feel obliged, but now I need to find a pub showing Eurovision.

Pleb, you're in charge of hosting the TTH Eurovision Party. Remember Pen can't eat cheese.

[Pleb]

Italy seems to have a legit shot at hosting next year's event or Croatia.

Me personally I have no clue. Probably the UK just for the lolz.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

He's done it since Wogan and he's actually quite good.

Yeah, I thought it was a shit appointment when they first announced him.

He's no Wogan but he's done well.

[Pleb]

Any drinking games then Offshore Toon?

[Offshore Toon]

Errr, yeah, sure.

2 fingers every time a song starts
3 fingers whenever a TTHer says something racist
2 fingers whenever the presenters speak in a language other than English
4 fingers if the UK gets booed
1 finger for every point the UK gets
Neck your drink if somebody mentions Brexit
1 fist when Graham Norton's voice goes high pitched

[Offshore Toon]

Having seen everyone bar the other countries already qualified my favourite for this year is Croatia, featuring a man duetting with himself.


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tkP0xw_i_Ho
Since I might not catch it later, I watched this. Incredible.

[niko_cee]

Forget nil points (sic) we could well end up with nil votes tonight.

Maybe if they'd just chucked a few our way last year . . .

[igor_balis]

Jacques looks like ME if I really really let myself go.

[Pleb]

Errr, yeah, sure.

2 fingers every time a song starts
3 fingers whenever a TTHer says something racist
2 fingers whenever the presenters speak in a language other than English
4 fingers if the UK gets booed
1 finger for every point the UK gets
Neck your drink if somebody mentions Brexit
1 fist when Graham Norton's voice goes high pitched
That will do.

Also you forgot song 9 though. Also take a sip if and when a wind machine gets used.

[7om]

Here we fucking go!

First time I've watched this in years.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

That disco jacket host, ugh.

Well all of them are pretty shit.

[wullie]

Oltimat music proize, here we go

[Pleb]

We're 18th in the running order by the way.

Dunno if that's a blessing or a legit shot of not getting nil poi.

[Shindig]

We're leaving Europe so we'll get Iraq levels of heat.

[Pleb]

Already off to a great start then :D

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Her Brother will be fiddling with her on stage

:D

Fucking amazing.

[P_3]

So Russia's singer has been barred from entering Ukraine because she had a tour in Crimea. The lass is in a fucking wheelchair for fuck's sake. Bunch of fucking flanges.

[wullie]

I reckon we'll do alright, the later you are the better as the public has no attention span at all. Top half.

[P_3]

The fuck is that voice?

[Pleb]

I'm starting to question the age of the guitarist here.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Best of the 3 thus far.

[wullie]

Can't remember which country he is, but there's a kid singing later with sleeve glove things who can't be older than 13.

[Pleb]

If this was a proper singing contest Austria might have a shot at this.

[P_3]

Belarus for me so far.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Yep, by a wide margin.

[Pleb]

Holland :|

[Offshore Toon]

Wait, P_3 hasn't posted in ages has he?

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

This is a challenger to Belarus.

[P_3]

Fuck, this is good.

[7om]

brb just going to download the Moldova song.

[Pleb]

YouTube it.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

That Hungarian effort is the pits.

[P_3]

Is this bookies' favourite?

[Pleb]

Yes.

[Serj]

That's pretty underwhelming.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

How?

It's crap.

[Pleb]

I mean there's a dancing ape for fuck sake :drool:

[P_3]

I do like this. Between this and Moldova for me so far.

[CJay]

Nice to see Epic Sax Guy back again.

[Serj]

Denmark's is also pretty meh.

Clearly Belarus so far. Then Moldova and Hungary.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Moldova then Belarus.

[Pleb]

Well this is shite.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Him closing his eyes and doing an air violin is really disturbing.

[Serj]

His mannerisms are odd, but I think this is my favorite so far. Could be from an old Disney movie.

[P_3]

That was just a little creepy. He looked like he snoops in bushes outside nurseries.

[Pleb]

Was that an actual tweet? :D

[7om]

Is this Portugal shit a joke?

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

It's like a poor man's Miley Cyrus.

Horse man is going well.

[Serj]

What the hell is that stage setup with the horse guy from Azerbaijan :D

[Pleb]

What this song is missing is a wrecking ball.

[wullie]

Here's your rightful winner now.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

:D

[Pleb]

Croatia 2018 it is then :cool:

[Serj]

I hadn't seen/heard this yet. He's amazing.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

This really is magnificent.

It would have only been bettered if he was wearing a half and half costume and kept turning.

[Pleb]

That's fucking incredible.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

In 2005, Houdek said in an interview for the Tena magazine that "gay and lesbian population cannot be equal with other citizens because it means a return to Sodom and Gomorrah", and has called same-sex unions "sick" for which he was named "Homophobe of the Year" in 2006 in a selection organised by the main Croatian LGBT portal Gay.hr. In a report from 2005, the International Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Trans and Intersex Association (ILGA) listed him as "a public figure who gave homophobic statements". In 2011, Houdek was nominated for the title "Homophobe of the Decade" by the LGBT Zagreb Pride organisation which called him "without doubt the biggest homophobe in Croatian showbiz".

And there was me thinking that he is gay.

[wullie]

If the semi was any indication, near the end this guy will try and hit all of the high notes and put it just past the post with every single one.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

I love this guy in the green room.

If only for his accent.

He might be the greatest presenter ever.

[wullie]

The time between songs and scoring is the perfect time to go get some nyeeeeeeeeeeeeeebles

[Pleb]

Dick and Dom have let themselves go.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Christ she's hot.

Greece :drool:

[Serj]

The song was terrible, though.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

I didn't think it was that bad.

Nice to see the Spanish McFly get a run out.

[wullie]

He fucked that up. For his lover

[7om]

I actually liked that Greece song. Nothing beats Moldova so far, though.

[Pleb]

"I was trying to learn English by watching Friends."

Urm...ok :D

[igor_balis]

Portugal

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Christ this skit is shit.

[igor_balis]

oops, pressed post by mistake. I'll try again - PORTUGAL woz class. Fave so far. Liked Croatia and Netherlands too. Italy were fucking rubbish.

[Pleb]

Don't worry lads we're not getting nil points :drool:

[P_3]

Aww, Lucie is lovely. Song is pretty good too.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

This is such a safe bullshit song/singer choice.

We'll come like 14th or something and it will be deemed a success.

[igor_balis]

Greece woman was gorgeous. Lucie is cute. Song was fine.

[P_3]

Too many tramp stamps on her though. :nono:

[wullie]

If Europe is really resentful about Brexit they'll make us win it and have to pay to host them all next year.

[Serj]

Yeah, it's one of those alright power ballads. Better than Denmark's or Poland's though.

[wullie]

This is alright, one of those rare songs that could actually exist outside Eurovision.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Cyprus should just stick to what they know.

A hot female.

[7om]

It's a good vocal but Eurovision is about being mental and memorable. I've already forgotten her.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Christ I hate her voice in this Romanian song.

[Serj]

I expected more from the yodeling gimmick.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

It's actually quite good when she's not yodelling.

[P_3]

This is absolutely brilliant.

[Boydy]

female

You've really got to stop this.

[7om]

Romania :lol:

She sounds like a dying cat.

[wullie]

If Romania are yodelling, there's nothing to stop Macedonia Morris dancing or whatever it actually is we do. Political Correctness HAS GONE MAD.

[Pleb]

Already Croatia or Moldova have got this in the bag surely?

[Baz]

The Hungarian DJ Khaled is the clear winner. :cool:

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Already Croatia or Moldova have got this in the bag surely?

Sadly the Portuguese pervert will win.

[Serj]

The German girl can't decide if she wants to sing in a thick German accent or not.

[igor_balis]

Start of this song is a SHAMEFUL titanium ripoff
I'd fucking sue. Also this is shite.

[P_3]

I heard it too. It was strange.

[wullie]

First Ireland steal from Nin Huguen and the Huguenotes, now Germany steal from David Guetta.

[Pleb]

I can't tell if this Belgium lass is miming or not.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Well this is the worst thus far.

[Serj]

Belgian song is quite nice, but that's some thousand yard stare.

[wullie]

She looks ready to run off crying at any moment.

[7om]

This Belgian girl looks like she wants the ground to open up and swallow her whole.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

I can't tell if this Belgium lass is miming or not.

https://eurovision.tv/about/rules

Artists shall perform live on stage, accompanied by a recorded backing-track which contains no vocals of any kind or any vocal imitations aiming at replacing or assiting the live/original voice of the Contestant(s). The Host Broadcaster shall verify respect for this rule.

Can't mime.

[wullie]

'I Can't Go On'. Sung by Sweden, screamed 10 minutes ago by Belgium.

[Pleb]

Is this the Swedish version of Take That?

[Serj]

There's something rather creepy about this.

[wullie]

He's like the Robin Thicke they can't prove the rumours about.

[Serj]

The Bulgarian kid can sing. Song is nothing special, but I think he'll be in the top three

[Pleb]

Well this second half (barring Lucie) have been shite.

[7om]

Moldova all the way.

[P_3]

Yep, Moldova for me too.

[Serj]

First half was a lot better. Portugal, Belarus, Croatia, Hungary or Moldova please.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Yep, I'm on the 'Dova train.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Bookies have Bulgaria just edging Portugal.

[P_3]

My top 5:
Moldova
Romania
Italy
UK
Croatia

[wullie]

Sweden should come last for going big with that 'ok' hand sign that represents cheeky Nandos and bantz.

[7om]

My personal favourites were Moldova, Greece, Norway, Belgium and France. The Swedish geezer who started off backstage was quite good too.

[igor_balis]

Portugal, Croatia, Netherlands, Greece, Belarus. Portugal clear winners, Croatia and Netherlands miles ahead of the other two. Greece fourth based on how much I wanted to shag her, and Belarus could be swapped with a few.

[Pleb]

Croatia has a chance so that's my pick.

Saying that I wouldn't mind if Moldova nicks it.

[P_3]

The Swedish geezer was just a TOWIE extra. Bleurgh.

[wullie]

Croatia, Moldova, Cyprus, France and Belgium in spite of the performance

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Moldova
Belarus
Croatia
Greece
Cyprus

I'm also starting to come round to Romania more and more.

[7om]

How surprising Igor liked Portugal.

[P_3]

The fuck is this intermission shit?

[igor_balis]

How surprising Igor liked Portugal.

Cunt :D
Fair though. Tinder girl loved him too, ive found a keeper.

[Pleb]

Thank fuck BBC1 shafted MOTD to BBC2.

We're going to be here by midnight at this rate.

[Boydy]

Take your happiness elsewhere, plz.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

That Georgian singer is better than a lot in the competition this year.

[niko_cee]

Was it just me thinking that, whilst that I know Dawson has rather embraced his new Portuguese identity (Benfica at Rio ave tonight lads), performing their Eurovision entry is probably a step too far?

Quite liked Bulgarian Bieber with his Prince hairdo.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

:D

[7om]

I'll be shocked it we don't finish in the bottom five. Boring song and Brexit.

[wullie]

You invite Australians, this is what happens.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

A white Australian man's arse was the best bit of that.

[Pleb]

"We're not doing a countdown from 60..."

Brilliant.

[Shindig]

They'll replace us in the EU next.

[Pleb]

Six points :cool:

[P_3]

This is a scary start.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Israel needs to shut up.

[7om]

Fuck this shit and that crap Portuguese entry.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Fuck this shit and that crap Portuguese entry.

Simmer down, he's probably got mental problems.

[wullie]

These Norwegian kids are creepy.

[Pleb]

What's Jedward doing in Norway? :D

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

It was even worse when they started speaking.

[Pleb]

Cyprus with the random 12 points there. Portugal to run away with it. I'm not sure what the public will think though.

[wullie]

I like how when the national representatives are girls the hosts are asking for their phone numbers and to see their tits, and then just yeah whatevering all the men.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Cyprus with the random 12 points there. Portugal to run away with it. I'm not sure what the public will think though.

It's not random at all.

Greece and Cyprus always exchange 12 points.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

What in the fuck is this?

[7om]

I'm seething.

[-james-]

I like how when the national representatives are girls the hosts are asking for their phone numbers and to see their tits, and then just yeah whatevering all the men.

Celebrate diversity mate.

[Pleb]

Portugal wins just for the Jury announcer :wub:

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Portugal declaring war on Spain there.

[-james-]

Random douze points to Azerbaijan. Nothing strange about that. Nope.

[wullie]

Georgia's been on the wine all afternoon.

[Shindig]

Hey, we're doing respectable at this. Must be our best haul for a while.

Where did they drag this Georgian from?

[Pleb]

How the fuck did we get 10 points there? :D

[wullie]

We got nothing from Ireland at all? Fuck you Westlife.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

We got nothing from Ireland at all? Fuck you Westlife.

95 years of independence just isn't enough to forgive and forget.

[7om]

That Ukrainian presenter :drool:

[Shindig]

We need to get Mahow on another plane.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Third for Moldova, they deserved more but the juries fucked them over.

[Pleb]

Scenes.

[P_3]

Kiko. :cool:

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

This is such a safe bullshit song/singer choice.

We'll come like 14th or something and it will be deemed a success.

I make that 15th.

[7om]

Awful. Load of shit.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Fuck Kiko.

[Serj]

Worthy winner. He really doesn't fit in there though.

[Bernanke]

First the Euros, now this.

Foda-se.

[Pleb]

Kiko will probably get free tickets for this.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

His sister is a better singer.

[Pleb]

She's fit though.

[P_3]

Moldova third? I'll take that.

[igor_balis]

:pards:

[igor_balis]

Loved that song

[Pleb]

I must admit that song went straight over my head.

Croatia should of won but I can't complain if I'm honest with you.

[igor_balis]

The right man won.

[Lewis]

https://s29.postimg.org/cabrvm9xz/C_vce_Dn_Ws_AEYu_YN.jpg

Made me lol. As you were.

[Serj]

:D That's class.

[7om]

:lol:

Nice.

[Dan]

Moldova have been screwed here, for sure :(

Croatia & Azerbaijan were my next two favourites, with Portugal about 23rd of the 26.

[Jimmy Floyd]

I really like the Portuguese song.