Something gwarn at Buckingham Palace

[Spikey M]

Announcement at 8 now postponed until 10. Rumours on Twitter that Prince Philip has died.

[Giggles]

How many days off will you all get?

It's probably to announce they've all left for the bunker and North Korea will have the rest of us dead by midday.

[Spikey M]

I have to tell you now, Theresa May has called Angela Merkel a deluded bull-dyke and consequently, we are at war with Germany.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Prince Philip hasn't died. Twitter talks such bobbins.

[Henry]

Prince Philip hasn't died.

How have you come by this information?

[Giggles]

Shit, would we get time off work if the queen died?

There would have to be some use for them.

[Spikey M]

Looks like it's a load of bollocks. Abort national holiday plans.

[Jimmy Floyd]

I reckon we'll get a day for the Queen's funeral (in about 40 years' time). Wasn't Will/Kate's wedding a national holiday?

And then every article about it ends 'But business leaders criticised the plans, saying the extra day off would cost the UK economy £300 million'.

[Magic]

How have you come by this information?

http://www.reactiongifs.us/wp-content/uploads/2013/03/whoa.gif

[Magic]

It's just a staff meeting, for fuck's sake.

[Spikey M]

Only 2 things are certain:

1) Prince Philip is fine.
2) Jet fuel can not melt steel beams.

[Magic]

3) Maddie is still alive

[Spikey M]

4) As is her parents literary career.

[Kikó]

The Queen is running for PM.

[Spikey M]

I'd vote for her just to see Henry's reaction.

[Spikey M]

Prince Philip will not perform public duties from Autumn. Well, that was worth the panic.

[Spammer]

Only 2 things are certain:

1) Prince Philip is fine.
2) Jet fuel can not melt steel beams.

They can weaken them though

[Spikey M]

#Sheeple

[Max Power]

John Major has punched The Queen.

[Henry]

I'd vote for her just to see Henry's reaction.

I'd vote for an aristocrat in front of a Tory myself.

[SvN]

Prince Philip has retired. Lazy fucker.

[Kikó]

Ironic that he retired on 95 after visiting lords the other day.

[Giggles]

Retired? From what exactly?

[Disco]

Public appearances and the like.

[Spikey M]

Turning up and looking at stuff

[Giggles]

He better still keep insulting people from his bed.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

He was the only one that I wanted to see out and about insulting everyone :(

[Magic]

Public appearances and the like.

Like Mahow?

[phonics]

This list popped up. It's all quality stuff.


1. "Ghastly." Prince Philip's opinion of Beijing, during a 1986 tour of China.
2. "Ghastly." Prince Philip's opinion of Stoke-on-Trent, as offered to the city's Labour MP Joan Walley at Buckingham Palace in 1997.
3. "Deaf? If you're near there, no wonder you are deaf." Said to a group of deaf children standing near a Caribbean steel drum band in 2000.
4. "If you stay here much longer, you will go home with slitty eyes." To 21-year-old British student Simon Kerby during a visit to China in 1986.
5. "You managed not to get eaten then?" To a British student who had trekked in Papua New Guinea, during an official visit in 1998.
6. "You can't have been here that long – you haven't got a pot belly." To a British tourist during a tour of Budapest in Hungary. 1993.
7. "How do you keep the natives off the booze long enough to pass the test?" Asked of a Scottish driving instructor in 1995.
8. "Damn fool question!" To BBC journalist Caroline Wyatt at a banquet at the Elysée Palace after she asked Queen Elizabeth if she was enjoying her stay in Paris in 2006.
9. "It looks as though it was put in by an Indian." The Prince's verdict of a fuse box during a tour of a Scottish factory in August 1999. He later clarified his comment: "I meant to say cowboys. "I just got my cowboys and Indians mixed up."
10. "People usually say that after a fire it is water damage that is the worst. We are still drying out Windsor Castle." To survivors of the Lockerbie bombings in 1993.
11. "We don't come here for our health. We can think of other ways of enjoying ourselves." During a trip to Canada in 1976.
12. "A few years ago, everybody was saying we must have more leisure, everyone's working too much. Now that everybody's got more leisure time they are complaining they are unemployed. People don't seem to make up their minds what they want." A man of the people shares insight into the recession that gripped Britain in 1981.

There's another 90 here http://www.independent.co.uk/news/uk/home-news/ninety-gaffes-in-ninety-years-2290148.html

[Magic]

7. "How do you keep the natives off the booze long enough to pass the test?" Asked of a Scottish driving instructor in 1995.

:D

[Jimmy Floyd]

I saw a good one earlier from 1969: 'I declare this open, whatever it is.'

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

9 is a peach too.

[niko_cee]

I hope No.8 was said in the style of Mr T.

[phonics]

A running theme in the list is that he hates Tom Jones

What do you gargle with – pebbles?" To Tom Jones, after the Royal Variety Performance, 1969. He added the following day: "It is very difficult at all to see how it is possible to become immensely valuable by singing what I think are the most hideous songs."

84. "What about Tom Jones? He's made a million and he's a bloody awful singer." Response to a comment at a small-business lunch about how difficult it is in Britain to get rich.

[John Arne]

He's still right about Beijing. Shithole.

[7om]

"And what exotic part of the world do you come from?" Asked in 1999 of Tory politician Lord Taylor of Warwick, whose parents are Jamaican. He replied: "Birmingham."

National treasure :drool: