[FOOTBALL] Midweek Fixtures - Champions League & Europa League Semi-Finals (2-5 May)

[Reg]

...plus League One Play-Off Semi-Finals. 1st legs in each competition. http://www.live-footballontv.com

TUESDAY
Real Madrid v Atlético Madrid - 19:45 (BT Sport 2)

WEDNESDAY
Ajax v Lyon - 17:45 (BT Sport 3)

Monaco v Juventus - 19:45 (BT Sport Showcase, 2)

THURSDAY
Celta Vigo v Manchester United - 20:05 (BT Sport 2)

Millwall v Scunthorpe United - 19:45 (Sky Sports TBC)
Bradford City v Fleetwood Town - 19:45 (Sky Sports TBC)

[Offshore Toon]

How was your party on Saturday night?

[Reg]

Saving the party vibes for Sunday.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Presumably without Brighton & Hove Albion you'd be eating rats from a bin, Offshore, so why all the hate?

[Kikó]

We're going to have a horrible game against Vigo the Carpathian.

[Lewis]

Homophobia. Which is a point. Do you reckon the Premier League already has a list of well-known fans to assassinate in the event of any club chanting about gayness down there?

[phonics]

Presumably without Brighton & Hove Albion you'd be eating rats from a bin, Offshore, so why all the hate?

From my experience at the Liberty, working at a football stadium puts you right off aligning yourself with the same twats you have to deal with week in week out.

[Jimmy Floyd]

It's apparently OK to chant about it vs Chelsea so can only assume it will be equally (geddit?) OK vs Brighton.

In reality if you look at any Premier League / big club tweet about gayness campaigns, all the replies are from spewing Asians and Africans furious that the bummers are being let off the hook. They know their market.

[Offshore Toon]

Presumably without Brighton & Hove Albion you'd be eating rats from a bin, Offshore, so why all the hate?
I don't hate Brighton. Most of their fans are lovely, Hughton is a great man and they've got one hell of a story behind them. It is all a bit lol at the moment, though. My main reason for posting that was Reg's response after I told him he should have bet on Brighton bottling the title instead of Newcastle losing to Cardiff, which, it appears, was fantastic advice.

Also, the gobbledies leave enough leftover Papa John's in the mixed recycling that I'd have survived without their vermin leftovers.

From my experience at the Liberty, working at a football stadium puts you right off aligning yourself with the same twats you have to deal with week in week out.
There are definitely some pockets of fans that are wankers, but for the most part its old people and kids that are all nice enough. There were so many old blokes tearing up during the pitch invasion. It was adorable.

[Reg]

So you got in a huff because I called you out on all your Brighton digs? :D

[Offshore Toon]

Aye, I got a full on SEETHE from making a correct prediction.

[Giggles]

What are games between these usually like? I can't imagine any game involving Atletico being all that entertaining.

[Reg]

They can be fun and dramatic but a lot of them are scrappy, dirty and stop-start with loads of dives etc.

[Giggles]

It's started better than I expected.

[Magic]

I can't think of anything worse than a Madrid derby with that lecherous cunt Hargreaves commentating.

[Magic]

CR7. :drool:

First of many hopefully. Fuck off Waff.

[Giggles]

I can't think of anything worse than a Madrid derby with that lecherous cunt Hargreaves commentating.

Zinedine Kilbane is doing it here :drool:

[Magic]

Greaseman going missing in a big game, you say. :harold:

[Magic]

Fucking hell this is a total mullering.

[Giggles]

A second before half time would be nice.

[Waffdon]

Fucking hell this is a total mullering.

He's went missing in finals. His record against the big clubs is great - especially in quarters/semis. (Brace against Germany/Barcelona, scored against Bayern as well as every time they play Madrid in the league.)

#fanboy

[Magic]

Bottling shitebag.

[Waffdon]

Tad pissed off an English ref has this game after piling on yellow cards.

[Gray Fox]

Just don't give Griezmann a penalty. He is likely to bottle one.

[Magic]

So fucking good Waffdon big game player.

[Giggles]

Fucking legend.

[Raoul Duke]

Lethal :cool:

[Waffdon]

Goat

[Bernanke]

Ben Zema really isn't very good is he?

[Reg]

So good.

They've been good tonight. Atletico haven't offered much - hopefully this is the end of their successful era.

[Reg]

Ben Zema really isn't very good is he?
He was great a few years ago. Not sure now, he doesn't seem to do much. Bale and Ronaldo up front could be awesome.

[Gray Fox]

Imagine if Madrid replace Benzema with Lewandowski this summer like they plan on doing.

[Magic]

So good.

They've been good tonight. Atletico haven't offered much - hopefully this is the end of their successful era.

Valencia will be trendy again before long.

[Magic]

:drool: x10000

[Raoul Duke]

Beast mode :drool:

[Waffdon]

What a guy. Fuck ya Messi

[Gray Fox]

The man is obscene. Doesn't he know you're supposed to slow down in your 30's?

[Max Power]

Ronaldo is such a gun. Will genuinely be bagging when he's like 39 as well you just know it.

[Magic]

Monaco v Madrid or a Buffon CL win.

Fuck.

[Raoul Duke]

Got a feeling Monaco's kindergarten would get bummed into next week by Ronaldo

[Gray Fox]

Remember lads. Ronaldo doesn't turn up in the big games. :p

[Reg]

The final's in June. What poppycock.

[Pen]

That's what now for Ronaldo? 8 in the last three. And against Atletico an Bayern. Crazy form.

[Smiffy]

.....

[Magic]

Fat Ronaldo and Zidane.

[Pen]

Zidane is somewhat hard to compare to those two, but I think both are way ahead of the Brazilian.

[Lewis]

I thought his most recent Ballon d'Or (or whatever they changed it to) would be his last, so what a wally I am.

[Magic]

Zidane is somewhat hard to compare to those two, but I think both are way ahead of the Brazilian.

Nope!

[Pen]

Just heard another crazy Ronaldo statistic in the after game studio. He now has 13 goals in semifinals. The second best (Del Piero and Litmanen :drool:) have 5.

[Lewis]

I would have them both sitting behind Pele (who is untouchable).

[Kikó]

And the white Pele is pretty much the same age as him and can't trap a football.

[Lewis]

Ronaldo was never ruined playing right-back though.

[Smiffy]

.....

[Lewis]

Faster and fitter, but 'more games, more pressure, more media exposure'? You do know who we're talking about right?

[Jimmy Floyd]

Ronaldo and Messi are the next two after Pele for me. There have been other visual greats but none have combined creativity with being immensely prolific in the same way as those three, which is ultimately what football is all about.

Maybe di Stefano fourth and then Maradona and others below that.

[Magic]

Ronaldo was prolific as fuck in an era that actually had incredible defenders.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Ronaldo scored 352 goals in 518. That is chicken feed compared to these guys. Nowhere near the longevity. Maybe top 10.

[Shindig]

I don't know whether to take Maradona down a peg for the painkiller abuse or up a peg for cocaine abuse. Zidane's probably the first player of the modern era where I realised he was up there.

[Lewis]

Fat Ronaldo had less peak years than Ronaldinho. Feel free to speculate on what might have been (lol at the idea of late-nineties La Liga defences being good), but he has no business anywhere near people who donned it for ten years.

[Reg]

Ronaldinho was the most fun player to watch ever for me. Wish I saw him live.

[Danny]

http://www.bbc.com/sport/football/39788226

Thats not good news.

[John Arne]

http://www.bbc.com/sport/football/39788226

Thats not good news.

Who is releasing this stuff to the press? You have to think that stuff like this would be better kept private.

[Mellberg]

The press shouldn't be reporting it regardless. If he's been sectioned it's none of our business.

[Baz]

http://www.bbc.com/sport/football/39788226

Thats not good news.
The girl who plays "Smell" in This Is England is under the same custody. I did a sight test on her at the secure hospital. She doesn't need glasses.

[Reg]

Monaco reject £72million from Man Utd for Mbappe https://www.theguardian.com/football/2017/may/03/kylian-mbappe-manchester-united-monaco

Griezmann, Nainggolan, Kroos, Fabinho and Bakayoko also wanted.

Nainggolan is class. Seems like a Mourinho player. I reckon they need a holder as well though - Carrick can't go on forever.

[Waffdon]

Nainggolan should go to Chelsea and create the best central midfield pairing of all time.

[Lewis]

They should be throwing absolutely everything at Toni Kroos, but I doubt he would leave Madrid, which leaves you with... Maybe go back to Wayne Rooney in midfield.

[Reg]

Nainggolan should go to Chelsea and create the best central midfield pairing of all time.
Yeah, but to be fair to other midfields he should go somewhere else.

Kinda surprised Mourinho is going for Mbappe. Would have thought he'd want someone at the peak of their career.

[Giggles]

Yeah, but to be fair to other midfields he should go somewhere else.

Kinda surprised Mourinho is going for Mbappe. Would have thought he'd want someone at the peak of their career.

I doubt Mourinho is going for him at all. In this day and age, surely it's the business and marketing men that decide these things?

[Magic]

Ajax are fucking good.

[Magic]

This is one of the best games ever. :D

[Dan]

This Ajax/Lyon game is immense, and I've only seen the second half.

Younes can't finish for shit, mind.

[Lewis]

http://www.bbc.co.uk/sport/football/39798344

lol get lost.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

I was about to post that.

Why? Nothing needs to change.

[Magic]

That's set it up nicely for a dreadful 0-0 now

[Yevrah]

I was about to post that.

Why? Nothing needs to change.

If the team going first win 60% of the time then I'd suggest a change is needed. It'll be shitter though, there's no doubt about that.

[Kikó]

They've had worse ideas. Potential Ajax-united final is still on.

[Magic]

They've had worse ideas. Potential Ajax-united final is still on.

You'd get fucked.

[Pen]

Would it still be five each or would the tie braekers start after the first ABBA?

[Magic]

Dybala to don it.

[Reg]

Makes sense. Like a tiebreak in tennis.

[Offshore Toon]

Higuain might as well sit out these games.

[Pen]

http://www.espn.com/espn/feature/story/_/id/19257650/guardians-galaxy-meets-tim-howard-david-de-gea-manuel-neuer-gigi-buffon-thibaut-courtois-marc-andre-ter-stegen#!da-gea

What kind of sports website deems shit like this a good idea. Who is this aimed for? (The link was in between the Ajax goals in Reddit and after clicking it I was lost for words).

[CJay]

Is Higuain always this fat?

[Magic]

Pjanic is some passer of the ball. :drool:

[Dan]

That goal :drool:

[Magic]

Fuck. :drool:

[Waffdon]

oh ma god

[Magic]

Lovely jubbly. :drool:

[Dan]

See Smiffy's post above.

[Reg]

Barcelona have had a mare letting Alves go.

[ItalAussie]

Assuming we finish the job here (hard to imagine we'll lose by two at home), I'm going to be a wreck come the final.

[Lewis]

Losing opens up a bit more space on Bayern and Benfica, so you should be happy either way.

[Lewis]

'But they got problems. Many, many problems.'

[Offshore Toon]

Did you delete in the original ~1min video so you could write an even longer version?

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Get help.

[Offshore Toon]

You should have tried to sound like Krang from Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles.

[Offshore Toon]

You should do impressions of how you think people from TTH talk.

[Kikó]

Not sure what's happening but anyway..

Smalling is back tonight so I wonder in which brain dead way he can make a mistake.

[Samadini]

He really is surprisingly shit. Should never have sold Evans (looks quite weird not using his first name, am I the first person to ever do that?)

[Kikó]

John Evans was just as bad. He was being bullied by Carlitos (:D ) Cole and Jonathan Spector.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Should sign Baresi, imho.

[CJay]

Reading in the paper that Mourinho is fielding a weakened side against Arsenal, and on the last day of the season against West Ham if they make the final. I don't recall anyone else announcing so far in advance their plans to rest players and forfeit the league, or is it all just attempted mind games?

He seems to have been telling anyone who'll listen for the last month.

[SvN]

I've read rumours about that, but haven't seen him actually say it. When did he announce it?

[Kikó]

I can't imagine Mourinho being able to win a treble.

[Dark Soldier]

Almost 27 years since you won the title. 27 fucking years :happycry: :happycry: :happycry:

[Dark Soldier]

http://i.imgur.com/y2OCjUF.gif

Every fucking time :happycry:

[Pen]

Hasn't Mourinho always been complaining about the most trivial shit there is as a mean to deflect the negative attention away from the actual problems and his players.

Him chasing a treble is easy enough though as he has got that with Inter and probably with Porto too.

How this season will be looked back on is pretty much down to Europa at this point. Win it and this season has been great. Not win it and it will be a disapppintment.

[CJay]

I've read rumours about that, but haven't seen him actually say it. When did he announce it?

Whatever rag our cleaner buys, Daily Star or something like that, had it today.

[Spikey M]

http://i.imgur.com/y2OCjUF.gif

Every fucking time :happycry:

Probably the most hilarious moment of the century so far.

[SvN]

http://i.imgur.com/y2OCjUF.gif

Every fucking time :happycry:

Improved version:

IAm35rG

[Dark Soldier]

http://giant.gfycat.com/BoilingWillingHawk.gif

the greatest cm of all time

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

http://lh5.ggpht.com/_zb6TQtqdb2o/Sx106yawVZI/AAAAAAAAAWQ/AKfy5gt7t3M/gerrarddivecomppn7.gif

[Jimmy Floyd]

Every time I watch it back I think Demba Ba is going to take a massive heavy touch this time and the goalkeeper will collect.

[Reg]

That really was a shocker from Gerrard on Herrera. What a twat.

He also rivals Alan Hansen in half-arsed punditry.

[Offshore Toon]

Why did you delete that other video from last night, Smiff?

[Offshore Toon]

I'm all for getting more content on here.

[Kikó]

Take the tape of the camera to improve it.

[Giggles]

If Mourinho is going as far as to rest players in the league to win this, then why the fuck is he messing around with a backup goalkeeper in it?

[Magic]

Should be 1 down.

[Magic]

Lol hard to believe the amount of money it cost to put these useless shitcunts together.

[Magic]

£89 million. :D

[Reg]

If Mourinho is going as far as to rest players in the league to win this, then why the fuck is he messing around with a backup goalkeeper in it?
Yeah I'm not a fan of this cup keeper trend. I'd have thought it'd be better to use the no.2 in a bankable game home to a lowly side in the league.

--
'Neymar to stand trial for alleged fraud and corruption over move to Barcelona' https://www.theguardian.com/football/2017/may/04/neymar-trial-fraud-barcelona-santos

Barcelona more unlikeable by the day.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

That would suggest that they had any likeability left.

[Magic]

Trust these terrible scum cunts to, after a few thrilling European games, serve up such dire shit.

[SvN]

I bet the kickboxer is a United fan.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Henry should have scored.

[Dark Soldier]

Trust these terrible scum cunts to, after a few thrilling European games, serve up such dire shit.

Aye Celta are shit

[Lewis]

That would suggest that they had any likeability left.

Or ever had any.

[Magic]

Awful stuff.

[Giggles]

Awful stuff.

It wasn't easy knowing this was going to be shit in fairness. Must be something else on.

[Kikó]

It's been pretty poor but if united could take their chances then it could actually open the game up.

Pogba is dominating.

[Lewis]

I know he isn't much of an aerial threat, but Marcus Rashford has to be better value in the box than taking the corners. Phil Jones was better at them.

[Lewis]

Remember when Ronaldo used to take them because he was the number seven and because nobody knew how good he was in the air until Euro 2004? They were probably the only thing he was ever shit at.

[Reg]

Rashford looks at home up front tonight. Seems to be getting involved in hold up play and passing more.

Celta aren't as lively as I was expecting after the Bielsa mentions.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Rashford :drool:

[Reg]

That was sweet. Finally a double run up seems to work.

[Yevrah]

I wonder how long it'll take for Rashford to be an England regular and go shit.

[Lewis]

That wasn't bad.

[Mazuuurk]

I wonder how long it'll take for Rashford to be an England regular and go shit.

Yep. He looks pretty great, but he also looks 100% like every single England striker talent that's come through in the past 10 years or so, bar maybe Kane actually who is a bit peculiar in his style.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Dirty Spaniards have shown more enthusiasm trying to get Rashford off the pitch than in the previous 78 minutes with the actual game.

[Lewis]

Yep. He looks pretty great, but he also looks 100% like every single England striker talent that's come through in the past 10 years or so, bar maybe Kane actually who is a bit peculiar in his style.

We haven't had any other 'striker talent[s]' come through in that period.

[Mazuuurk]

We haven't had any other 'striker talent[s]' come through in that period.

Well maybe coming through isn't the best word for it, because that's indeed what they never do. But you've had talents for sure, such as Sturridge, Welbeck, Walcott, Defoe. All of which fit the same type as Rashford: fast, a bit frail, questionable finishing (Defoes finishing only improved as his pace went with age).

I suppose Rooney needs to be counted to the lot, and is arguable the most successful in "realizing" his talent, however big that was, even if it's peaked a while ago now.

[SvN]

So fast black lads, basically.

[Giggles]

Did Young get injured or what?

[Lewis]

Rashford is already better than Theo Walcott, Daniels Sturridge and Welbeck weren't doing much at nineteen, and Jermain Defoe was nineteen in about 1978. The best comparison is Michael Owen, who was mega for England.

[randomlegend]

Was it Kiko who dismissed Romero as a flappy, useless retard when we signed him? He's been a thoroughly serviceable backup and frankly very good in the Europa League this season.

[Shindig]

Ajax winning a major European trophy would be something, wouldn't it?

[Giggles]

Ajax winning a major European trophy would be something, wouldn't it?

It would. And if they win this one then at least they'll be back in it.

[Ian]

Was it Kiko who dismissed Romero as a flappy, useless retard when we signed him? He's been a thoroughly serviceable backup and frankly very good in the Europa League this season.

He looked a fucking bombscare in his first few appearances, didn't he?

[randomlegend]

Perhaps but that doesn't service the opinion I'm putting forth, so keep it to yourself please.

[Kikó]

Was it Kiko who dismissed Romero as a flappy, useless retard when we signed him? He's been a thoroughly serviceable backup and frankly very good in the Europa League this season.


He looked a fucking bombscare in his first few appearances, didn't he?

He's been a lot better than I had expected. Still a few causes for concern but he's a lot calmer and useful than expected.

Return Stockholm flight is now booked as well.

[SvN]

I remember one game last season when De Gea was expected to leave he had a nightmare. I'm thinking Swansea? Otherwise, he's always been solid if not spectacular.

[Mazuuurk]

He's been a lot better than I had expected. Still a few causes for concern but he's a lot calmer and useful than expected.

Return Stockholm flight is now booked as well.

When are you coming?

[Kikó]

I'll be at Arlanda from 9:15 on the Wednesday. Flight back is 1430 the next day.

[niko_cee]

The best comparison is Michael Owen, who was mega for England.

He was also mega for his club pretty much straight off the bat.

Rashford looks a talent but he isn't anywhere near the level Owen was when he first came through. Perhaps it's just circumstances holding him back, but you have to wonder how he is going to progress when they buy two £100m forwards this summer.

[Mazuuurk]

I'll be at Arlanda from 9:15 on the Wednesday. Flight back is 1430 the next day.

fuck it's a wednesday? pretty shit for going out but might be up for a few pints if you want.

[Kikó]

Definitely.

[Lewis]

He was also mega for his club pretty much straight off the bat.

Rashford looks a talent but he isn't anywhere near the level Owen was when he first came through. Perhaps it's just circumstances holding him back, but you have to wonder how he is going to progress when they buy two £100m forwards this summer.

Yeah, but it probably evens up once you account for Owen playing every second of every game, the defences all being rubbish back then, and Liverpool playing to his (but not his hamstrings') strengths.

[Raoul Duke]

'Charismatic' + 'Cool' jump off the page there as being total bollocks, to start with

[Kikó]

Clean and fresh. Glad that's clarified.

[Lewis]

That winner against City. :drool:

[Lewis]

Matt Busby played for City and Liverpool as well. Oh shit.

[niko_cee]

Didn't just play for, captained Liverpool. It's mad when you think about that happening in a modern context.

[Kikó]

Something about Manchester tbh. Former Liverpool striker held in high regard for the above ^, a Scouser as the clubs all time top goalscorer, a Scouse Mayor...went from yellow and green to red and so on and so on. Are we sure the hate doesn't stem from the fact United just want to be Scouse?

Like you then?

[Kikó]

It's not a bite.

I am seething at Burnham being mayor though.

[Shindig]

Whilst on the subject of parallel worlds, I was thinking about where we'd be if Keegan didn't walk in 1997. People can moan about Hughton's sacking but Keegan left after a 7-1 win and called it a day. Whilst we were on course for Champions' League football.

[Giggles]

Whilst on the subject of parallel worlds, I was thinking about where we'd be if Keegan didn't walk in 1997. People can moan about Hughton's sacking but Keegan left after a 7-1 win and called it a day. Whilst we were on course for Champions' League football.

Did he leave for the England job or was Newcastle after? Was he the manager the year they chucked it?

[Shindig]

He left, went to Fulham and then dropped Fulham for the England job. City came after that. King Kenny coasted us into second spot.

[Giggles]

Why did he leave on the back of going well? Did he leave for Fulham or leave and end up there after?

[Shindig]

Well, we have two statements. One from the board:


Newcastle United Football Club today announce the resignation of manager Kevin Keegan. Kevin informed the board of his wish to resign at the end of the season, having decided he no longer wishes to continue in football management at this stage in his life. Following lengthy discussions of which the board attempted to persuade Kevin to change his mind, both parties eventually agreed that the best route forward was for the club to, reluctantly, accept his resignation with immediate effect.

And one from Kevin himself:


It was my decision and my decision alone to resign. I feel I have taken the club as far as I can, and that it would be in the best interests of all concerned if I resigned now. I wish the club and everyone concerned with it all the best for the future.

He was back in work the following September as Fulham Director of Football. He took over as manager when Ray Wilkins inevitably got sacked near the end of that season. Days before a play-off semi final. I thought the turnaround between jobs was much quicker but a full season seems like a reasonable hiatus from management. There's also some nonsense Kevin spouted about seeing David Pleat (victim of the 7-1 drubbing) in the opposite dugout and having a massive crisis of conscience. Most toon fans see that as bollocks.