Health and sickness. A place to moan.

[SincereTheRebel]

I may need to start putting deodrant on my wood. Its getting sweaty on the regular.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

I've had flu for the last couple of days. Today I woke up at 7 aggressively shivering. I usually shiver when I have the flu but it usually doesn't last very long and is pretty tame.

[randomlegend]

Flu is legit fucking horrible. I had it bad last year and then likely flu tonsillitis this year but I'd had the flu jab before I caught it this year and it was a lot milder.

Last year I was flat out for two weeks with it.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

I thought it was just a regular cold but the chills are always a big sign of a flu for me.

[Giggles]

Same as that for me. Once I start getting sore all over and shivering I know the squirts aren’t too far away and it’s a full blown flu.

[Lewis]

I helped a Chinese woman stick her bag in the overhead thing yesterday, and now I've got a cold. I'd like to leave the Database to Amigo, and Magic can have my savings for his divorce fund.

Three days in, and it feels more like a chest infection, so I'm almost certainly battling the disease. I'm eating loads though so I'll easily overcome it.

[SincereTheRebel]

I never get a headache or anything like that. My usual illness pattern goes like this.

1) Wake up in the morning and feel like shit
2) Within a few hours, i vomit for the next 12
3) I feel better at the end of the daybutliquidthe next week. I have liqud bogey and the wax flow out my ears.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

I just sneezed so hard that it feels like my shoulders almost dislocated.

[Luca]

Two confirmed Coronavirus cases on the board, then. RIP lads.

[Giggles]

I never get a headache or anything like that. My usual illness pattern goes like this.

1) Wake up in the morning and feel like shit
2) Within a few hours, i vomit for the next 12
3) I feel better at the end of the daybutliquidthe next week. I have liqud bogey and the wax flow out my ears.

Chlamydia.

[SincereTheRebel]

Chlamydia.

Its been having every few months for the past 30 years. You may be onto something...

[Smjffy]

I'm still waiting for results.. .

Well, I guess I won't be dying of old age.

[Manc]

Do tell.

[Smjffy]

In a nutshell the polyps that were removed are something called adenoma ones or something and due to the size it's puts me at a higher risk of developing cancer at some point or something.

I have an appointment on Friday that will explain it in more detail and what the next steps are as from what I've tried to disicpher myself it's hard to tell if they are precancerous or cancerous. I guess I'll find out properly on the 28th but it is what it is, I guess. Bit of a mindfuck this morning.

[Manc]

I can only imagine. Best not to speculate.

[SvN]

On the bright side, now you know it's a possibility, it's much more likely to get caught early if it does happen.

[randomlegend]

Lots of people have adenomas. A small minority turn into cancers, so if they are seen on a colonoscopy they are removed.

[Lewis]

What are you some sort of bum expert? :harold:

[Smjffy]

Lots of people have adenomas. A small minority turn into cancers, so if they are seen on a colonoscopy they are removed.

I think that's what the case was at the last one. You don't feel anything so I was surprised when told they removed some polyps(?)

If regular colonoscopies are the way forward then I'm not going to be too pleased. Hopefully there is an alternatives to see if there's any more or whatever. I know you said about getting sedated but I would rather be aware of what's being said/done than not.

We'll see what the crack is on Friday anyway and go from there. It's rattled me a little bit if I'm honest but fuck all I can do about it other than go with the flow then decide as and when. Your mind can't help but think the worst but at the same time you can't help but feel judged when discussing medical history as most of mine is related to mental state as opposed to physical.

"So I see here that you attempted to overdose on lorazepam"

"Fuck knows, doc. I cant even remember that part of my life."

"You don't remember trying to take your own life?"

"Well no, I remember it but I couldn't tell you if it was this year, last year, year before etc but what has this got to do with my esophagus/stomach/bowels/liver"

It's a weird feeling being rather blasé about it all. Shit happens, get over it.

[Shindig]

Woke up at 2am this morning with a case of the squirts. Completely unprovoked, too. Odd.

[Lewis]

Three days in, and it feels more like a chest infection, so I'm almost certainly battling the disease. I'm eating loads though so I'll easily overcome it.

It can't have been a chest infection because it has sorted itself out, but I mentioned to my mother that I spent the weekend sweating in a t-shirt and she reckons that it might have been flu. Is that possible? I thought flu wiped people out.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Only betas.

[Lewis]

That's what I mean. I am quite a specimen so I could easily have just lolled this chinfluenza right off with a few extra calories.

[Luca]

Sweating in a t-shirt sure sounds like flu. You should have stayed in the Arctic.

[Spikey M]

If it was Flu you would feel cold so that you wrap yourself up to raise your core temperature and slow the virus down that way. Apparently it works best at a lower temperature than other viruses.

(I watched a documentary on the Flu virus whilst I had it over Christmas)

Also, of the 3 flu types only Influenza A really wipes you out. B is milder but still shit, C is basically a cold.

(Same American documentary)

Come correct me RL.

[Spikey M]

That's what I mean. I am quite a specimen so I could easily have just lolled this chinfluenza right off with a few extra calories.

Hong Kong Fluey

[Giggles]

I’ve only had one actual flu in my life which must have been A above. The rest have been some shivers and squirts and just generally feeling like crap.

[Shindig]

I'm trying to get over this office cough before it starts. I don't feel a fever so it can't be the Kung Flu.

[Kikó]

Been fucked all day from drinks last night with a nice spell of vomiting this afternoon. Such beta behaviour.

[Giggles]

Needs too be done every once in a while to remind you why it’s only once in a while.

[Kikó]

Managed to eat pizza during bouts of vomit which was a bonus.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

I hope it was stonebaked with fresh basil, rocket leaves and shavings of parmesan on top.

[Spikey M]

To go with the shavings of carrot in the toilet?

[Kikó]

Dirty take out from the previous night. :o

[Spikey M]

If it was Flu you would feel cold so that you wrap yourself up to raise your core temperature and slow the virus down that way. Apparently it works best at a lower temperature than other viruses.

(I watched a documentary on the Flu virus whilst I had it over Christmas)

Also, of the 3 flu types only Influenza A really wipes you out. B is milder but still shit, C is basically a cold.

(Same American documentary)

Come correct me RL.

I've legitimately had to wait less long for an answer on the NHS. Oit randomlegend

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

I would love it if he posts in here soon but just completely ignores you.

[Spikey M]

Thus continuing an authentic NHS service.

[randomlegend]

I can offer you an answer two weeks on Monday at quarter past one.

[Giggles]

I’ll get you an answer in 3 days but it’ll cost you 360 euro an hour.

[randomlegend]

Oh and you'll have to come to my house. Make sure you are free till 3.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

If you're 1 minute late your appointment is gone but if you're early expect to wait half an hour.

[Spikey M]

Forget it, I've booked a Reiki session.

[Spikey M]

Turns out it's all just differently misaligned Chakras.

[John Arne]

I'm just about to go in for a cataract. At 38. FML.

[SincereTheRebel]

Look after your eyeballs, teeth and hands.

[Spikey M]

Look after your cock and balls.

[Shindig]

I think I've beaten the office cough. The woman next to me's taken two days off so she's probably done for.

[Mike]

We sent 7 kids home chucking up today. I’d better not get it.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

I've had a sebaceous cyst on the back of my neck for at least 10 years now and about a year back I went to the doctor about it as it's been getting slowly larger. He told me to keep an eye on it and if it starts hurting or getting even bigger to come back in.

I went in a month or so ago now as it's pretty much as wide as my neck and I've been getting a lot more neck pain (the cyst itself isn't painful but I think it's putting pressure on my neck or something). GP referred me to a lumps and bumps clinic but they said as it's not cancerous that the GP would have to do it or obtain funding. Got a letter today saying funding has been approved.

Should hopefully be getting it removed soon.

[mugbull]

It’s as wide as your neck? That’s some doing

[Boydy]

Post pictures

[SincereTheRebel]

Gremlin

[Lewis]

https://i.imgur.com/7jPlnGZ.jpg?1

[Shindig]

Draw a smiley face on it before it goes.

[mugbull]

I went to the toilet and had a huge fart, did one wipe just to be sure and the toilet paper came back covered in blood.

Hmmm

[niko_cee]

Rip

[-james-]

Rip

I can't tell if this is intended or not but I went to the doctor once convinced I had bum cancer and he told me that it was just one of these.

[Offshore Toon]

Had the shits since Monday. This morning has been the worst by far. Gonna have to move a TV into the toilet at this rate.

[Giggles]

I’ve a high temperature, shortness of breath, and a cough. Any ideas?

[Spikey M]

Hayfever?

[Smjffy]

I’ve a high temperature, shortness of breath, and a cough. Any ideas?

I've been short of breath to the point I've had to be sitting or standing up to try and take a deep one and naturally your mind goes there.

I also have hayfever.

[Offshore Toon]

Those are the big three, Giggs. Don't you get your test results back today?

Doesn't look great for you either, Tim.

Or Spikey.

[Giggles]

Those are the big three, Giggs. Don't you get your test results back today?

Doesn't look great for you either, Tim.

Or Spikey.

No it’s still marked as in the lab. I’ll wake up to a notification one of these mornings and go top myself.

[Shindig]

Seems excessive but at least you won't go down as a Covid death.

[Boydy]

Fucking cat bit me. Proper bite like. He was going mental at another cat outside and I tried to lift him away from the window.

Is my arm going to get infected and fall off?

[Giggles]

When did you last get a tetanus jab?

[Boydy]

I'm not sure I've ever had one.

[Disco]

Not as filthy as a dog bite but it could still be infected.

[Boydy]

I've never been bitten by a dog.

Dogs > cats.

[Ian]

Rip.

[niko_cee]

I'm not sure I've ever had one.

You will have had and it'd be extremely unlikely you haven't had your lifetime's supply by now (unless you're some sort of anti-vac wacko, in which case enjoy your poor life choice).

[Boydy]

Yeah, having googled it, it seems you get it as a kid.

I'm obviously not an anti-vaxer.

[Boydy]

Last tetanus jab was 2002 so booked in for another tomorrow. Doctor said there shouldn't be much else to worry about but if there's any redness or swelling around it, he can give me antibiotics.

[Spikey M]

Merc'd by a cat and now having to cover up his Antivax beliefs. :(

[Boydy]

:D

Ffs

[Disco]

If your last booster was less than 10 years ago you normally get another one. Enjoy, my last one hurt like fuck but they did insist on doing it on my ravaged arm.

[Boydy]

More than 10 years ago, you mean? The doctor said it lasts 10 years so that's why I need another.

[Disco]

Sorry yes, more than 10.

[Spikey M]

Don't apologise to the needle dodger.

[Lewis]

Fucking cat bit me. Proper bite like. He was going mental at another cat outside and I tried to lift him away from the window.

Is my arm going to get infected and fall off?

My grandad got bitten by his chihuahua and he had to have the infected finger removed.

[Spikey M]

Rat bites are bad too then.

[randomlegend]

Most likely your arms and legs and head will fall off.

[Boydy]

Most likely your arms and legs and head will fall off.

Look I can take the shit from everyone else but you're a doctor, please reassure me. :(

[randomlegend]

Lol you'll be fine.

[Shindig]

If that cat was radioactive, you'd be in for some superpowers.

[Spikey M]

*Invites Boyd's mum and dad into the Family Room*

[randomlegend]

No relatives allowed at the moment, unless Boyd's under 16.

[Spikey M]

Even with his 'issues'?

[Boydy]

randomlegend the skin around these bites is kind of yellowing. Are they getting infected?

There's no swelling and they're not sore to touch or anything.

[Spikey M]

https://res.cloudinary.com/uktv/image/upload/h_720,q_80,w_1280/v1385482582/lyv0htnkwjmevrsoxdxa.png

[Giggles]

Will the pub be open for the funeral?

[Lewis]

Social distancing shouldn't be an issue.

[Boydy]

Will the pub be open for the funeral?
There'll be tea and sandwiches in the church hall after the service like any good Presbyterian funeral.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Social distancing shouldn't be an issue.

:D

[Giggles]

There'll be tea and sandwiches in the church hall after the service like any good Presbyterian funeral.

Convert so we can have a session.

[randomlegend]

randomlegend the skin around these bites is kind of yellowing. Are they getting infected?

There's no swelling and they're not sore to touch or anything.

Red, hot, swollen, painful or producing pus are the signs to watch out for. Yellowing is probably just where it bruised a bit and is going through the normal bruise colour sequence.

Had a lol at a blood sample request today where someone had written "pussy tonsils".

[Manc]

I've gone through an entire loo roll in the space of a few hours. :(

[Spikey M]

Do you end up with the shits every weekend?

[Foe]

Maybe shouldn’t have gone back to the same Indian.

[Manc]

Do you end up with the shits every weekend?

Pretty much.


Maybe shouldn’t have gone back to the same Indian.

I actually bit the bullet on Thursday night. This is something else.

[Jimmy Floyd]

I woke up in the night with a terrifying pain in my calf (cramp, happens occasionally), but even now it still aches and I can barely fucking walk. Has anyone had that before? So bizarre, surely you can't pull a muscle while asleep.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

I pulled a muscle in my foot a few weeks ago.

Went to bed perfectly fine and when I woke up I couldn't put weight on part of my foot as it was agony.

[Manc]

Confirmation that Jimmy is in fact a Bat.

[Serj]

I woke up in the night with a terrifying pain in my calf (cramp, happens occasionally), but even now it still aches and I can barely fucking walk. Has anyone had that before? So bizarre, surely you can't pull a muscle while asleep.

I've had that happen a couple of times. Binge-drinking seems to be a contributing factor, but I think it's sometimes just dehydration. Should pass after a day, at least it did for me.

[SincereTheRebel]

Those Bloodsuckers are on me again. Surprising as we are still in a semi-lockdown state they would be so quick to request my blood from people. Ill pass for now.

[Don]

I may have foregone the tetanus booster jab as a poorly thought-out decision but let me tell you, Sudocrem really is the jizz of the lord and saviour Jesus. It seems to miraculously draw out fluids from wounds which cleans out the shit obviously as opposed to letting it dry out with all the shit trapped in there. I cannot recommend it highly enough, take note, buy a tub for the household and just apply it to any kind of skin issue. The consistency is so thick those small tubs will last years too, no need to go ham and get the large one like I did a coupke of years ago.

[Luca]

How is the sense of smell/taste, Taz (not having a go, real inquiry here)?

[Waffdon]

Sudocrem worked wonders for me whenever I burnt my nostrils/skin from doing coke. Tier 1 for skin

[Don]

How is the sense of smell/taste, Taz (not having a go, real inquiry here)?

No further improvement. So that's a 10% improvement on around day 15 and another further 10%-20% improvement on around day 120. Nothing since and we're on day 155ish now. Covid toes (chillblain type things) still coming and going on one foot too. Still awaiting antobody testing to be available before I see a doctor so that their useless ass can at least give me that for my efforts.

[Shindig]

Get tested, man. It's still in there.

[Don]

I'm at one with possibly living with this as I and most others have done with their Herpes virus but two partial recoveries suggest it won't be the case. An antigen test gives nothing aside from more wanking material for you.

[Shindig]

So you'll go to A&E for a scraped elbow but won't have a swab jammed up your snout?

[Don]

Bro, don't direct your weird bitterness and toxicity into my path. In fact, work on resolving it altogether.

[Disco]

It's a fair piece of real estate, makes sense to be cautious with it.

[Giggles]

https://i.imgur.com/8jjZruU.jpg

[Don]

I'm a ':D' post away from posting a dick pic.

[Disco]

Now I'm curious what those things actually are.

[Giggles]

Now I'm curious what those things actually are.

https://www.specialistmodels.co.uk/dwr-cymru-stop-block-giant-cotton-bud-campaign/work

[Baz]

I’ve had a headache for about four days.

I’ve either got
a) COVID-19 (is it a symptom?)
b) carbon monoxide poisoning after a leaky radiator was recently botched back up by my dad and I.
c) just a persistent headache

I’ve got a Carbon Monoxide meter thingy somewhere, I think, but I never set it up because from what I could gather from the instructions you first needed to “set it off” by using smoke from a cigarette, of which I obviously don’t have because I’m not a scruff. :cab: Infact, I may well have binned it after deciding I could never set it up.

[Ian]

Doesn't carbon monoxide hit you harder than that? I'm not saying a four day headache is a laugh or anything but I thought it properly hit you especially if it was building up over more days.

[Baz]

Doesn't carbon monoxide hit you harder than that? I'm not saying a four day headache is a laugh or anything but I thought it properly hit you especially if it was building up over more days.I only know the stories from Reddit where someone was hallucinating by seeing ant bites on their arms (or something) and the good one where someone was leaving themselves notes but didn’t remember doing so and thought their landlord was stalking them. :D

Hopefully we’re firmly in option C then.

[Don]

Lol if you get it because of 'not being a scruff'.

[Ian]

I think they might have been mistaking carbon monoxide poisoning with the plot of The Machinist.

[Dquincy]

My 4 year-olf son developed a cold (well, I hope it's a cold), which I now have...and has now developed into a fucking annoying tickly cough. So much so, I can't sleep and it's 12.37am. The 1 year-old also has it now.

[Dquincy]

Also seeing the mother in law tomorrow who has an irrational fear of CV-19. Me coughing my way into her house is not going to be well received.

[Baz]

Yeah, don’t go.

Get yourself tested.

[Mike]

3 days in work, think I’m getting a cold :(

[Spikey M]

Go see Baz, then get yourself tested.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

:D

[Dquincy]

Yeah, don’t go.

Get yourself tested.

I did.

And I didn't.

(I know when i have a plain old cold)

[Spikey M]

Trying to kill off the in laws and free up his weekends. My man's ice cold. :cool:

[Dquincy]

:D

[mo]

Cunt move there Quincy.

[Dquincy]

Cunt move there Quincy.

Do you feel strongly about colds?

[7om]

You're a twat.

[Spikey M]

A cold has a different set of symptoms to Covid. Alot of passion needs calming in here.

[Dquincy]

:lol: Love it. The judgement!

[Spikey M]

Mr Quincy, do you in fact have a NEW and PERSISTENT COUGH?

Do you in fact have a TEMPERATURE?

Have you, you vile bastard, lost your SENSE OF TASTE (normal for Kentish folk)?

[Dquincy]

:D

Not really.
No.
No.

But I did go partially deaf, as I always do when I have a cold due to the snot build up.

[mo]

:rolleyes: I just hope not all parents think like you both.

[niko_cee]

Don't worry mate, you can lead the sneeze-police vanguard that modern teaching is about to descend into.

[Spikey M]

:rolleyes: I just hope not all parents think like you both.

He's following the guidance. He doesn't need a test.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

My 4 year-olf son developed a cold (well, I hope it's a cold), which I now have...and has now developed into a fucking annoying tickly cough. So much so, I can't sleep and it's 12.37am. The 1 year-old also has it now.


He's following the guidance. He doesn't need a test.

New cough, mate.

[Spikey M]

New cough, mate.

New and persistent mate. Persistent. It persists it does.

[mo]

Well those semantics are definitely worth the risk, thanks for clearing it up.

[Spikey M]

You're persistent Mo, I'll give you that.

[Dquincy]

You really are a bunch of tarts. If you can't tell the difference between a snotty common cold and something more serious, then you're a moron.

[Baz]

Tickly is persistent, surely.

As for “telling the difference,” you have never had COVID-19 to know how it feels.

[Shindig]

I thought the Covid cough was supposed to be dry?

[Reg]

You really are a bunch of tarts. If you can't tell the difference between a snotty common cold and something more serious, then you're a moron.
Not sure of this logic given you can be asymptomatic, or have it and barely be able to tell.

[Spikey M]

If he's describing it as 'a cold', he's clearly not asymptomatic.

[Foe]

Fuck living your life assuming a cold is Covid.

This winter is going to be rough if that attitude is common.

[Spikey M]

Fuck living your life assuming a cold is Covid.

This winter is going to be rough if that attitude is common.

It's going to be exactly that.

[Reg]

If he's describing it as 'a cold', he's clearly not asymptomatic.
Yeah, but Covid can resemble something less serious.

[Foe]

It's going to be exactly that.


One of the guys I worked with a few years ago coughed all day, every day for the 18 months I worked with him. He’ll never see daylight again.

[Spikey M]

Either way, second wave inbound so it could well be his last chance to kill them off for some time.

[Spikey M]

One of the guys I worked with a few years ago coughed all day, every day for the 18 months I worked with him. He’ll never see daylight again.

My daughter has an asthmatic cough. I've had to tell a good few (old) people to fuck off.

[Mike]

3 days in work, think I’m getting a cold :(
All better!

[Baz]

Either way, second wave inbound so it could well be his last chance to kill them off for some time.My work is "preparing" for it to come in November. I really hope it doesn't.

[Spikey M]

My work is "preparing" for it to come in November. I really hope it doesn't.

New cases jumped by about a thousand today. Could well be sooner.

[Dquincy]

The state of some of these replies.

[Lofty]

I have had a slight wheeze since March, was more noticeable when going to bed/lying down. Wasn't enough to warrant concern at first, then all this shit happened and my doctors was closed anyway. Now it's September and I am audibly wheezing whilst inhaling and exhaling. Talked to my GP on a phone appointment, he arranged Spirometry for me only for the practice to cancel because 'we don't have anyone qualified to do it' and advised to ring back next month to see if that's changed. Not sure where I stand on sourcing my own test but feel like it needs to happen soon, if it's asthma then brilliant, if it isn't it feels like waiting potentially another 12 weeks to do something about it could be a bad idea.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Well you've had a good run.

[Spikey M]

Not with that chest.

[Lofty]

Twats :D

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

RIP my back.

Physical labour is not my strength.

[Pepe]

What is your strength?

[Giggles]

Self pity.

[phonics]

What is your strength?

Weakness.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

What is your strength?

I have yet to discover it.

[Spikey M]

What is your strength?

packing light.

[Don]

My back is fucked too so rest assured it affects people at all extreme ends of the physical spectrum. Just can't say no to a game of football so been hard to rest it but I put my foot down tonight. 3 days of cold and hot presses, tiger balm and possibly a professional massage on Sunday better have me back.

[Luca]

My back is fucked too so rest assured it affects people at all extreme ends of the physical spectrum. Just can't say no to a game of football so been hard to rest it but I put my foot down tonight. 3 days of cold and hot presses, tiger balm and possibly a professional massage on Sunday better have me back.

What kind of massage are we talking about here, lad? Should we round up Sama and make it another boys night?

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

My back is fucked too so rest assured it affects people at all extreme ends of the physical spectrum. Just can't say no to a game of football so been hard to rest it but I put my foot down tonight. 3 days of cold and hot presses, tiger balm and possibly a professional massage on Sunday better have me back.

I was seeing a chiropractor which helped a lot (although I was sore the next day, especially my hip as he'd dig a thumb in) but haven't got him round for 2 months or so.

Never had a massage but I'd imagine that would help me a lot too.

Shovelling and wheel-barrowing tonnes of topsoil today was not fun.

[phonics]

Chiropractors aren’t real. It’s only slightly above going to a herbal medicine guy.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

I thought the same until my first session.

I'd assume I'd feel the same after a massage.

[Shindig]

Lie on your floor for five minutes. Done.

[Don]

Yet to try chiros but osteopaths are Gods. Was tempted by a happy ending one but they don't deliver on the massage element, I need a chunky Slavic brute called Dragan to thumb me deep :drool:

Remember, keep the back active to aid recovery. Rest is not the way.

[niko_cee]

I found the osteopath to be more of a mountebank than the chiropractor when I needed their assistance. Nerve flossing :cool:

I definitely reckon chucking them in with the Eileen Drury's of this world is harsh

[SincereTheRebel]

Lads. My father passed suddenly at the start of April. Ive only just had confirmation of the cause over the past few days. He died from a perforated duodenal ulsa with associated haemorrhage.

Days before he passed, he stated he had stomach ache which is nothing new. Ive explained before to TTH how I wake up in the morning feeling really bad at least 10 times a year. I have a stomach ache and start vomiting. Usually, within 12 hours, the vomiting usually stops with me and then I have the flu for a week later. We both seem to suffer from the same thing. Because we usually have the flu and a bad cough for a week after. We just put it down to the typical common flu. I usually recover quickly from stomach ache and vomiting but my father usually takes a week to recover.

Because of this corona stuff, I didn't want to take any chances as he was curled up in pain for over a week. I called the ambulance the day before he passed. They did all the home test and he was ok. They stated you can go to the hospital if the pain was that bad, but he refused and would rather take painkillers. He generally does not go to the doctors for anything. He definitely wasn't going while we were in lockdown. He refused to go.

The next morning is when I feel his body probably started to shut down, he had difficulty hearing what I was saying. He said his ears felt funny. His hands and feet were hurting. He said his head and legs started hurting and could hardly walk. Then he started to act really strange and talking nonsense. I told him im taking him to the hospital. He went to the bathroom and when he came back, he started to breathe heavily and the collapsed and stopped breathing. I applied CPR for around 10 minutes before the ambulance arrived but they couldn't do anything to get his heart started again.

We both have had previous tests because of the stomach problems we both have had, but they have never found anything. Ive been advised need to have some scans now I know there was an actual problem. I also found out today, my grandfather a duodenal ulsa which he has been living with for years.

I decided to quarantine with my parents since lockdown which was a good thing in the end. I would have hated for him to pass in the hospital, knowing it was his biggest fear or if he passed away and I was at my house playing PS4.

Fuck COVID 19.

Im back ill with the usual symptoms. In now booked in with the gastroenterologist. Around midnight last night, I started to feel unwell and ive been vomiting ever since. They wouldn't give me a test until I get ill again, which is bullshit but at least I get looked at now.

[Don]

Now you may not all find this interesting but I highly doubt it because it's objectively absolutely fascinating.

Since Wednesday, I've been waking up from my usual slumber at a very precise time of 6.15 or 6.30 (without fail) for no discernible reason. (I've forced myself to go back to sleep with varying difficulty)

Once it happened for the second day in a row I put it down to the packets of Seabrook Fire Eater Chilli crisps that I'd found at Lidl after a year-long pursuit (COVID tastebuds have meant I can't enjoy them any longer so I have 3 packets if any one would like them). But having cut those out, it continued and I realised it's not a dietary factor causing it.

My next hypothesis was that I'd been resting my back so had not done my usual physical exercise and this was my body simply saying it's had enough sleep. I smashed out a pacey 30km on the bike yesterday and alas, it seems it's not a physiological cause.

Mentally there's no issues and the 6 days have been tremendously varied in all aspects so I think it may be a spiritual/otherworldly phenomenon. Either that or long COVID so keep alert to such symptoms in the news in a few months time.

[Boydy]

Is the bed wet?

[Spikey M]

The elderly sleep less and wake early. Such is life.

[Luca]

Could be stress. Is ‘da ting’ giving you trouble?

[Shindig]

Or it could be nothing.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Could be your body becoming more beta.

[Don]

I sometimes get the feeling the community doesn't have my best interests at heart. I really need to eradicate such negative thought patterns.

[Foe]

That’ll be midnight/1am on the east coast of America. Get on Craigslist and get cyber with some tick southern birds.

[Spikey M]

I've got an ear infection and it's doing me in. I'd Van Gogh the fucker if I thought it'd make it stop.

[AyDee]

I've had horrific itchy toes for the past 70 minutes or so, had to stop working and simply use anything and everything to try and stop the horrific burning sensation. Finally found something the girlfriend has which has soothed/numbed it a bit.

Horrible experience though. RL, should I say goodbye to my toes?

[randomlegend]

Any rash or anything?

[Shindig]

My money's on athlete's foot.

[AyDee]

All of my toes (bar my big toes) did become quite red and sensitive, which I assume counts as a rash.

This happened once back at the start of summer, but I thought then it was just a random thing caused by my shoes or something. Has been fine since, altho did have a lite version yesterday afternoon (assumed it was due to my wooly socks).

[AyDee]

My money's on athlete's foot.

Probably something vanilla like skin dermatitis tbh, don't think it's athletes foot.

[Shindig]

Probably, although if your skin starts flaking, run for your l.... don't run.

[Spikey M]

I had this earlier this year. Never got to the bottom of it but I kept putting cream on it and stopped wearing socks and it fucked off.

[Don]

Lads, there's a virus going round in case you hadn't heard with a similiar symptom.

I've had three bouts of it. Tiny blisters that leak clear liquid have been present but not all the time.

[Giggles]

Gout?

[Spikey M]

Lads, there's a virus going round in case you hadn't heard with a similiar symptom.

I've had three bouts of it. Tiny blisters that leak clear liquid have been present but not all the time.

Covid causes this? Looks like the 'Flu' we had in January could have been this then.

[Don]

Ya, 'covid toes' are a thing.

[AyDee]

Happened again after a weekly shop at Tesco so ended up calling 111 (yes, lol at me) who suggested I go to GP on Monday and get some blood tests etc. if necessary.

Nothing online seems to really hit the symptoms apart from Erythromelalgia, which is incredibly rare so is probably little more than a remote possibility. Fun times.

This makes for riveting reading, I'm sure.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Well it's been nice knowing you.

[Don]

Rang GP to get an MRI scan arranged as my back is still not 100% after 4 months and 2 physio sessions (as well as tell him about the COVID sensory disability). Was told he only works Mondays and Thursdays and that I'd need to phone tomorrow. Great service.

Anyways, got a kickabout booked in for 7pm today so may well run it into the ground by then but fuck it, I'm gonna turn up an hour early and drink in the atmosphere :drool:

[randomlegend]

Happened again after a weekly shop at Tesco so ended up calling 111 (yes, lol at me) who suggested I go to GP on Monday and get some blood tests etc. if necessary.

Nothing online seems to really hit the symptoms apart from Erythromelalgia, which is incredibly rare so is probably little more than a remote possibility. Fun times.

This makes for riveting reading, I'm sure.

It could be, someone's gotta have the rare stuff. Worth mentioning to the GP if the symptoms really do fit since it's unlikely to be something they'd have on their radar.

[Lofty]

Got a chest x-ray Monday as a precaution but feel a lot better since the doctor trialled me on inhalers so it just turns out I have fulfilled my holy trinity destiny as a speccy, flakey skinned asthma twat.

[Shindig]

Awesome, you're one of us. My asthma got miles better as soon as I moved out. My old room was cramped and damp so I got a lung full of that every morning. Now the only time I use my inhaler is when I'm vacuuming or dusting. And when I run my legs pack in before my lungs. Quite a turnaround.

[Don]

Rang GP to get an MRI scan arranged as my back is still not 100% after 4 months and 2 physio sessions (as well as tell him about the COVID sensory disability). Was told he only works Mondays and Thursdays and that I'd need to phone tomorrow. Great service.

Anyways, got a kickabout booked in for 7pm today so may well run it into the ground by then but fuck it, I'm gonna turn up an hour early and drink in the atmosphere :drool:

Rang this morning at 10, he was fully booked. But they arranged for another GP to call me back (why didn't they offer this yesterday?). I asked for a time window and they said they can't provide that, just that it'll be sometime during the day. So I put my phone by the balcony doors for the entire day, the only place in my flat I get signal.

The doctor rings twice in the space of 10 minutes during a work call. I ring back the practice 5 mins later to let them know of what'a happened.

"Nah, I'll have to make an appointment with Dr. Fatwa for tomorrow as Dr. Mujahideen tried to ring you a few times already today and she has other people to ring"

1. Yes, so can she not ring me after ringing them? Her workload has not changed.

2. Do you think we can all clear our day and sit by the phone waiting for your fucking band of ethnics to read out NHS direct pages to us?

3. RL you're a cunt.

[randomlegend]

A GP's workload would have you crumbled into a pile of dust topped with the world's largest non-functioning organ within a week.

[Don]

Today's NHS Direct reader said "it might have been COVID but until we have antibody tests I can't confirm. Nothing else I can do". And instead of sending me for MRI scans for my back, she wants me to go in on Monday so she can feel my massive aubergine in person.

[SvN]

Does anyone have an update on Sincere?

[Lofty]

Nothing except the thread tag I think.

[Magic]

Mrs has been confirmed Coeliac. Antibodies were so high she didn't even need a biopsy lols.

So it's not just a case of 'no pasta lolz' like I thought it was, it's insane the precautions you have to take.

[Don]

Today's NHS Direct reader said "it might have been COVID but until we have antibody tests I can't confirm. Nothing else I can do". And instead of sending me for MRI scans for my back, she wants me to go in on Monday so she can feel my massive aubergine in person.

Asked the same questions, touched my vertebrae to 'make sure it's not cancer' and practiced her fucking pidgin English. 25 mins of my time wasted.

Have taken measures into my own hands now, going to work under the assumption it might be my dining room chair (which I find very comfortable) and instead go through 35 hours of my week squatting/kneeling/standing for 4 weeks.

[SincereTheRebel]

Yes, lads. I had a nasty infection which caused me to leak out of every opening, with insane stomach and back pains. Ive just lived in bed and the shower for the past how many months. Im feeling much better now. Sam Igor and Taz reached out via text recently. I appreciate TTH concerns. Im good now.

[Baz]

He’s not dead!

[Spikey M]

Yes, lads. I had a nasty infection which caused me to leak out of every opening, with insane stomach and back pains. Ive just lived in bed and the shower for the past how many months. Im feeling much better now. Sam Igor and Taz reached out via text recently. I appreciate TTH concerns. Im good now.

You had Ebola? :|

[SincereTheRebel]

You had Ebola? :|

Probably.

[SvN]

Genuinely really happy to hear from you. I was sure you were dead.

[randomlegend]

Welcome back Sincere. May all your sphincters be competent for the foreseeable future.

Is John ok? He hasn't abused me in ages, has he been around?

[SvN]

We need a thread where we periodically check if someone's dead.

I assume people are in touch with Toby?

[Boydy]

Toby just thought he was too good for us.

[Boydy]

Glad you're okay, Sincere. That infection sounds fucking horrible.

[SincereTheRebel]

Yeah. Given my Dad passing on, it was bad. My mom was really going through given the bad year we have had.

[Shindig]

Frig. Glad you're through that. I'm going through some weird toe and fingertip shit. Looks like some trapped blood so maybe a change of shoes is needed. My swollen fingers have calmed down but now my skin's really starting to dry out.

[mugbull]

Yeah. Given my Dad passing on, it was bad. My mom was really going through given the bad year we have had.

I'm so sorry man. Stay healthy. Is it a chronic infection thing, or just a chance happening?

[SincereTheRebel]

Frig. Glad you're through that. I'm going through some weird toe and fingertip shit. Looks like some trapped blood so maybe a change of shoes is needed. My swollen fingers have calmed down but now my skin's really starting to dry out.

Pussy


I'm so sorry man. Stay healthy. Is it a chronic infection thing, or just a chance happening?

I had some tests and nothing is long term, but in going for more tests in the new year.

[Lewis]

Toby just thought he was too good for us.

More like GS donned him into oblivion before setting off on his own absence/victory lap.

[Boydy]

More like GS donned him into oblivion before setting off on his own absence/victory lap.

What about? I don't remember that.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Yes, lads. I had a nasty infection which caused me to leak out of every opening, with insane stomach and back pains. Ive just lived in bed and the shower for the past how many months. Im feeling much better now. Sam Igor and Taz reached out via text recently. I appreciate TTH concerns. Im good now.

That sounds awful. Good to see you back.

[Pepe]

Sincere. :wub:

[Disco]

He's not dead, excellent news.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

How much longer do we have to be nice to him? It's really hard.

[Offshore Toon]

#TeamPussy fearing the return of The Rebel.

[Lewis]

What about? I don't remember that.

Calling him 'Tobias' slowly wore away at his carefully-constructed air of nonchalance until he had no option but to withdraw from posting.

[Baz]

What happened to (one of the worst usernames we ever saw) nickfootie5?

[SvN]

I always assumed that was his age when he chose the username.

[Spikey M]

Was that the fella who's mum asked us all to be nice?

[Shindig]

Nah, I think that was number_25 or whatever he called himself.

[Lofty]

Sincere :cool:

Awaiting the results of a chest x-ray, hopefully it's nothing and not 'you have weeks to live lol'.

The dead or alive thread should include former 'big' posters gone AWOL too, for extra stalker points.

[randomlegend]

Kieranthegoalkeeper wasn't it?

[nickfootie5]

What happened to (one of the worst usernames we ever saw) nickfootie5?

Christ my login still works. Agreed, appalling name.

Just a long time lurker now with no enthusiasm to post.

[Spikey M]

Christ my login still works. Agreed, appalling name.

Just a long time lurker now with no enthusiasm to post.

Was it your mum that Bamster offered to shag and if so did she enjoy it? I imagine him to be an unnecessarily aggressive lover but some women like that.

[nickfootie5]

Was it your mum that Bamster offered to shag and if so did she enjoy it? I imagine him to be an unnecessarily aggressive lover but some women like that.

No I don’t believe that was me.

[Spikey M]

No I don’t believe that was me.

I'm sure he would still be willing. Drop him a PM.

[Baz]

Christ my login still works. Agreed, appalling name.

Just a long time lurker now with no enthusiasm to post.Get back to posting. :wave:

[Spikey M]

Are you willing to shag his mum as a sweetener?

[Kikó]

We need a thread where we periodically check if someone's dead.

I assume people are in touch with Toby?

Toby's active on facebook.

Who else can we call out? Where's OIMOI, GS or Dave Challinor?

[Kikó]

Also welcome back Sincere, glad you're not dead.

[Queenslander]

Toby's active on facebook.

Who else can we call out? Where's OIMOI, GS or Dave Challinor?

Elth

[Spikey M]

Did anyone hear back from John?