Health and sickness. A place to moan.

[Panda Bear]

Giggles you still getting mad migraines

[Panda Bear]

Who did what now? Is that some American bollocks like Gatoraid?
Maltitol is an artificial sweetener.

[Panda Bear]

Sir Andy Mahowry, I'm proud that you're tackling weight loss. I am sure it feels very hard sometimes, but you'll persevere.


https://youtu.be/CP4mJ8CsDKI

[Giggles]

Giggles you still getting mad migraines

Not so much since I went gluten free. About 10-20% of what I'd normally have been getting.

There's still some 'GF' stuff that will do a job on me (other grain substitutes mainly) but I'm slowly getting the hang of it. My overall diet still isn't wonderful, you can get lots of gluten free rubbish, but I've lost over a stone and a half just because there's fuck all I can eat when out on the road so it stops me buying sausages and breaded chicken baguettes every day. Cut out all artificial sweetener too which probably helps and supposedly exercise is another step that's a huge help but I can't bring myself to do that.



.

[Manc]

Nice to see others suffering. I'm six days in with the flu and no better. Dragged myself to work after four days off. Mistake!

[Panda Bear]

Giggles

Holy shit. That's incredible. I'm also going to pretend you drink more water now too, which is the equivalent of gluten free liquids to coffee. You must be feeling great.

A stone and a half too. :cool:

[Giggles]

Giggles

Holy shit. That's incredible. I'm also going to pretend you drink more water now too, which is the equivalent of gluten free liquids to coffee. You must be feeling great.

A stone and a half too. :cool:

I don't, but that's some other problems that I'll know more about this time next week. Not drinking any water either, I wish I had the same discipline as I have when I'm faced with a wonderful beautiful hot counter in the shop.

[Spikey M]

Giggs, what is actually up? I get bad headaches and Gluten allergies, but is there an underlying issue linking it all?

Glad you're doing well either way.

[Giggles]

Giggs, what is actually up? I get bad headaches and Gluten allergies, but is there an underlying issue linking it all?

Glad you're doing well either way.

I'd know better if I could get a doctor to actually try find out if there's one :D You'd think paying them €240 an hour would suffice.

[Spikey M]

€240 an hour? Do you get a free blowjob at every session?

[Giggles]

€240 an hour? Do you get a free blowjob at every session?

Well it's €60 for the 10-15 minute waste of my time each time.

[Spikey M]

I'll waste your time for €30.

Plus a free blowjob at every session.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

He'll also throw in herpes for free.

You wont get a better deal, Giggles.

[Giggles]

I'll waste your time for €30.

Plus a free blowjob at every session.

Deal. I haven't given one in years though so I'll give you €40 until I'm up to speed.

[Spikey M]

He'll also throw in herpes for free.

You wont get a better deal, Giggles.

They're warts you mong.

[Magic]

Massive chest infection. :(

[Waffdon]

My left side of my face is in bits. Ear and throat have been like glass for weeks but now my gums and the back of my mouth have joined in the last few days. It’s pure red but other than that my gums look normal.

Withdrawals from coke.

[Panda Bear]

My left side of my face is in bits. Ear and throat have been like glass for weeks but now my gums and the back of my mouth have joined in the last few days. It’s pure red but other than that my gums look normal.

Withdrawals from coke.Or, you know, an infection that you're ignoring and could get diagnosed.

[Waffdon]

Well, obviously. I’m just pure skint at the minute and they didn’t let me pay the bill up last time so a bit apprehensive of getting another £200+ bill.

[randomlegend]

Bill? You live in the UK don't you?

Also I've diagnosed myself with mastoiditis, which I definitely don't have.

[Giggles]

Bill? You live in the UK don't you?

Also I've diagnosed myself with mastoiditis, which I definitely don't have.

What do you pay?

[randomlegend]

What do you pay?

Nothing to see a doctor? I don't understand.

[Giggles]

:D shit, I thought you meant the word bill was an Americanism or something. Ignore me.

[Spikey M]

Check(sic) is the Americanism, isn't it?

[mugbull]

Either works.

[Pepe]

Check in restaurants, bill everywhere else I think.

[Giggles]

Anyway, yeah. Who exactly was Waff paying when he has the NHS?

[Waffdon]

The dentist.

Lmao didn’t even realise I didn’t say toothache. Fairly sure it’s my wisdom teeth.

[Panda Bear]

The dentist.

Lmao didn’t even realise I didn’t say toothache. Fairly sure it’s my wisdom teeth.So you have a cavity that is leaking an infected bacterial mess inside your body.

Does your work have an insurance policy?

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

It's not North America, mate.

[Giggles]

Dental plan.

[Panda Bear]

A dental plan would be included within an insurance policy/scheme/who gives a fuck, which I imagine is what Waff needs to cover a £200 dental expense without dipping into his own pocket.

[Spikey M]

It's Scotland. Just drink Scotch until it goes away.

[Waffdon]

The drink didn’t even help when I was away at the weekend. I’m going tomorrow as this shit is unbearable at the minute.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Just woke up needing to vomit and having squirty shit again.

Felt a bit of nausea when trying to sleep but no stomach cramps. Not sure what's causing it as I have felt better since I stopped the bars.

[Magic]

This flu/chest infection has destroyed me. It has also given my mental health a complete shoeing.

3 fucking weeks I haven't been able to do anything.

Exercise, socialising and connecting were a huge part of my recovery and treatment plan. I'm climbing the walls.

[Magic]

Ok it's now full blown bacterial pneumonia.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Just end it all.

[Pepe]

I bet she poisoned you.

[Magic]

My arrogance with regards to my immune system has been crushed.

[Boydy]

You've been sick and been in all the time and yet you've barely been posting?

[Pepe]

Good point. I should change my vote.

[Magic]

I really can't be fucked. All I've done is make a herculean effort to make appointments at work and then vegetate watching telly. Its horrific.

[Spikey M]

What a terrible time to lose form.

[-james-]

I received a blow to the head playing football earlier and have what I assume is a minor concussion.

It's fucking awful. I imagine a proper brain injury is worse than hell.

[Spikey M]

Has It aFectED your VIsIon?

[igor_balis]

Has It aFectED your VIsIon?

A blow to the head during football almost blinded me in one eye, actually. Stay safe guys.

[Spikey M]

Are you attempting to blame your rimming of a stranger on poor depth perception?

[Lewis]

I once smashed some nerd's glasses - and I mean they exploded like something out of a cartoon - with a fucking prime Adriano-like rocket and it's probably the best thing I've ever done on a football pitch.

[randomlegend]

I imagine a proper brain injury is worse than hell.
Magic?

[Spikey M]

I once smashed some nerd's glasses - and I mean they exploded like something out of a cartoon - with a fucking prime Adriano-like rocket and it's probably the best thing I've ever done on a football pitch.

I gave someone a nosebleed by serving a tennis ball straight at their puss, and it's the most middle-class thing I've ever done.

[randomlegend]

I knocked another kid out with a shot to the face playing football when I was about 13, I'd forgotten that.

[igor_balis]

Are you attempting to blame your rimming of a stranger on poor depth perception?

No, absolutely not. If anything, it felt like I was seeing the world a lot more clearly after I first put my tongue in a girl's anus.

[Lewis]

I haven't played football in about six years. I bet I'm ace now. When is the next kickabout?

[Giggles]

Dibs on being in goals.

[Lewis]

Club Lewis vs The Group, match abandoned when Taz gets absolutely smudged up the barriers by Offshore and Simon refuses to be subbed on because 'Who's gonna manage us?'

[Shindig]

Mert turns up with a basketball.

[Manc]

Big night out and I still feel rotten four days later. Actually developing a full cold. FML.

[Offshore Toon]

Club Lewis vs The Group, match abandoned when Taz gets absolutely smudged up the barriers by Offshore and Simon refuses to be subbed on because 'Who's gonna manage us?'
I'm well up for this. Me and you up top would basically be Inter on Pro Evo with Ibra and Adriano just smashing them in from forty yards with ease. Meegs was the best keeper in Haxball too so we won't concede. Too easy.

[Lewis]

Luca could get us some kits like in Mean Machine.

[Spikey M]

I'll hold one of your hands as you walk on.

[Kikó]

Club Lewis vs The Group, match abandoned when Taz gets absolutely smudged up the barriers by Offshore and Simon refuses to be subbed on because 'Who's gonna manage us?'

Bring it bitches.

[randomlegend]

I'll make one bursting run/dribble in the first ten minutes resulting in a goal, then spend the rest of the game trying to get my breath back.

Or I can do half time oranges.

[Shindig]

You're probably the only one qualified to be a physio. Quincy just does forensics so he'll wind up on VAR duties.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

I've got paronychia on two of the toes on my left foot and it's fucking agony.

[Shindig]

Eurgh. My ganglion cyst is no longer a concern. Apparently I popped it a few weeks back and it hasn't reformed. And my contact lenses are back to staying in for proper time periods. I must've had them in so little before that my eyes changed shape. That's probably a thing.

[SincereTheRebel]

Ive discovered right in my groin area a wound that is really painful. Could be an STI. When i touch it with a cotton bud, there is blood

[Bam]

Ive discovered right in my groin area a wound that is really painful. Could be an STI. When i touch it with a cotton bud, there is blood

You've been brassing it up lately haven't you? :henn0rz:

[SincereTheRebel]

What the fuck does that mean?

[Spikey M]

You've been chucking it up prossies.

[Magic]

Jesus christ. What sort of STI causes a wound? Syphilis? You been slaying with the homeless?

[Shindig]

Chlamydia. Should've rubbered up. And I don't mean tyres.

[SincereTheRebel]

I went to the clinic and they took some swamps and all that stuff. Having watched Chernobyl and saw what radioation posinging does to your skin, I have a similar look to a pea sized area of my groin.

[randomlegend]

Swamps :D

Swabs.

[Spikey M]

I went to the clinic and they took some swamps and all that stuff. Having watched Chernobyl and saw what radioation posinging does to your skin, I have a similar look to a pea sized area of my groin.

She wasn't Ukrainian was she?

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

The do a lot of posinging.

[Spikey M]

Poisinging the swamps.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

https://www.calvertjournal.com/articles/show/3688/letter-from-ukraine-mining-town-Kryvyi-Rih

I'm surprised I didn't come back with anything tbh.

[SincereTheRebel]

Swamps :D

Swabs.

My life is at risk, and you comment on my grammer.


She wasn't Ukrainian was she?

This isnt a time for jokes. Im very concernced.

[Bam]

Life is at risk. :D

Had your nob fallen off yet?

[Baz]

I can’t stop pooing, and it comes out of me like a jet wash. Actually the “can’t stop” is a lie, thankfully. It’s more that I always need to poo, but thankfully I manage to contain it until I decide to go. Still unpleasant though.

[SincereTheRebel]

Life is at risk. :D

Had your nob fallen off yet?

Its still attached but I'm preparing for the worst.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

I'm sure you'd make a decent tranny.

[SincereTheRebel]

Watch your mouth

[Giggles]

I hope you don't go down the pub or anything.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

I've got paronychia on two of the toes on my left foot and it's fucking agony.

Cleared up but the two affected toenails have looked like they're going to come off and the other night my 4th toe's toenail came off. Doesn't hurt or anything but it feels weird.

Big toe has a new nail growing in the bottom left corner which is pushing the old one away.

[Spikey M]

Hows your cock Sincere?

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

*Hole/Nub/Void/Cavity.

[Shindig]

I can't wear contact lenses any more. I can get a lens in individually for 3-4 hours. Together, they immediately water up and my whole face goes into a reaction.

[SincereTheRebel]

Hows your cock Sincere?

Its fine now and the surrodning areas. I didnt get any contact back from the clinic which means I didnt catch anything. It has all cleared up.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Was helping my Cousin clear out our attic and as we were almost finished his ladder (one of those folding ones) decided to try and go horizontal.

Took my right ankle and for a moment I thought it was broken. Felt like I was going to vomit and that I was going to faint.

Still in a lot of pain but I've got ice on it. Don't think there's any real damage as I can move it.

[Shindig]

Yay, I got my lenses in for a few hours. Progress. Still have a nasty reaction on the left one but the right one's been fine. I think it's hayfever. Pollen or something must've gotten on it. I've never been bothered by it before but then we don't tend to have proper summers.

[Alex]

Yay, I got my lenses in for a few hours. Progress. Still have a nasty reaction on the left one but the right one's been fine. I think it's hayfever. Pollen or something must've gotten on it. I've never been bothered by it before but then we don't tend to have proper summers.

I tried contact lenses a couple of months ago and completely wimped out during the trial period, and just ended up cancelling the follow-up appointment to get them properly. I was absolutely pathetic at getting them in and out. I'm still disappointed in myself now over that actually, I should really try again. I've still got about five of the trial pairs left.

[Shindig]

It's something you get used to. I'd love to get back into some proper hours with them. My vision's better with them and I just prefer how I look without my coke bottle glasses. One of my colleagues is looking into contact lens implants. That's exactly how it sounds.

[mugbull]

Instead of “contact lens implants” just get laser eye surgery. I’ll send you a PM If you want, the Czech place I got it done at will do it for $900, you can get it done again for free (i probably mentioned this earlier in this thread), and they also set you up with a hotel. It’s 100% worth it

[Shindig]

It does seem weird how that's an alternative to laser eye surgery. You're still getting your eye cut up. It's not my cup of tea.

[Baz]

I couldn't recommend ICL enough. :nod:

[Spikey M]

I've had to come home from work with an absolute cunt of a headache. Driving was probably not wise, but I didn't wrap my car around a lamppost, somehow.

I think I've been migrained for the first time.

[Bernanke]

I have my first ear infection at an adult age, and I want to blow my brains out. Now I get why kids with it scream like they do. Can't eat or sleep properly, and need to down painkillers like they're tic-tacs.

[Mazuuurk]

I woke up with what I assume must be an inflamed achilles tendon. I felt nagging pain in it when going to the gym yesterday (which happens, I think I strained it once and it's always been just a tad bit sore since then), but now out of nowhere over the night the whole tendon is insanely sore and I'm actually struggling to walk. What the fuck.

[SincereTheRebel]

Once my HIV and Trichomoniasis test come back clear. I have decided i am going to give blood. It appears there is a shortage of donors as black people, just refuse to give blood and the black people who are waiting for blood for certain issues about problems, such as a sickle cell have to wait for a match for a long time.

[Shindig]

In that case, get a hepatitis test as well.

[Queenslander]

If had unprotected sex with the beast asking me for drinks tonight at the bar I would be dead within a week.

[SincereTheRebel]

Gave my first blood donation last week and I'm a blood type B+. Looking to go all out now and donate my seed and become an organ donor

[SincereTheRebel]

Things have got weird. The NHS Blood Suckers have called me two times today to book an appointment for my next session. Ive told them im not interested, but now im nervous.

[Shindig]

Could be a rare type. Or they're always on the lookout for black donors.

[Giggles]

They’re always crying out for donors here but it’s almost impossible to be accepted as a donor.

[Alex]

Things have got weird. The NHS Blood Suckers have called me two times today to book an appointment for my next session. Ive told them im not interested, but now im nervous.

I signed up to give blood a couple of months ago now but never actually booked in for an appointment to do it (it was weirdly hard work to get a slot for them to actually take it locally, but this is a poor excuse, they have a dedicated place in Leeds where I could give it pretty much whenever) and they've rung me five or six times since then, presumably to get me to finalise it. I haven't answered, I just know it's them because I missed the call first time and didn't recognise the number, so I looked it up online. I should really sort that out. This has reminded me and now I feel bad.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

I said I might be interested and they rang me about 8 times over the course of a few months.

Never given blood though as I hate needles.

[randomlegend]

I'm never allowed to cus I had ME.

[SincereTheRebel]

I said I might be interested and they rang me about 8 times over the course of a few months.

Never given blood though as I hate needles.

Pussyole

[Lewis]

I was surprised to learn recently that practically everybody over seventeen (or whatever it was) can't give blood in other countries because us nineties beef-eating mugs are all ticking mad cow disease time bombs.

[Giggles]

I was turned down because I lived in the UK but the list of reasons you can't it's absolutely maybe.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Pussyole

I can look at the needle and blood when it's actually in but before it's in I'm a wreck.

Chiropractor has put a couple of acupuncture needles in my back the last few times I've seen him though and had no problems.

[phonics]

I was surprised to learn recently that practically everybody over seventeen (or whatever it was) can't give blood in other countries because us nineties beef-eating mugs are all ticking mad cow disease time bombs.

Yeah that was an odd one turning up to the work blood drive and getting rejected. I dont have any tattoos so everyone went with me being gay.

[Spikey M]

Odd display of sympathy, but blowjobs are blowjobs I guess.

[Offshore Toon]

It feels like I've had three colds in about a month. Fucking resilient little cunt this year. Thursday I was on top of the world, then Friday I woke up with a full-on cold out of nowhere.

[Waffdon]

Death really does sound appealing sometimes

[Spikey M]

I have the worst cold I've had in about 10 years. I'm a wreck. Work can fuck off, but I've 2 screaming kids at home so my head is going to be in ruins all day anyway. Fuck sake.

[-james-]

Death really does sound appealing sometimes


Lay off the gear. I've never known anything to fuck with my mental health like it.

[Giggles]

I have the worst cold I've had in about 10 years. I'm a wreck. Work can fuck off, but I've 2 screaming kids at home so my head is going to be in ruins all day anyway. Fuck sake.

The fucking thing will come back at least three times after it goes too.

[Waffdon]

Lay off the gear. I've never known anything to fuck with my mental health like it.

I’m off it, my guy. Jakey shakes.

[Mike]

Off work sick. Ughhh :(

[SincereTheRebel]

Vomiting or other issues?

[Mike]

Other issues. I haven’t vomited in years thankfully.

[Baz]

I’m also off sick. If I so much as think about trumping, I’ve gotta leg it to the toilet. Have just had a near-five hour nap, but still feel like death.

[Offshore Toon]

It feels like I've had three colds in about a month. Fucking resilient little cunt this year. Thursday I was on top of the world, then Friday I woke up with a full-on cold out of nowhere.
Two weeks later and I still have a sore throat. I felt great on Saturday with no symptoms then Sunday the throat came back. I still feel alright otherwise. Really strange bug this year.

[-james-]

Felt a click in my lower back at the gym today and now it's gone a bit numb and generally doesn't feel right at all. Reckon it's a pinched nerve but I'm fairly terrified I'm going to wake up in the morning sans the use of my legs.

[phonics]

How does one 'get off the gear', I may have a slight problem.

[-james-]

Just stop doing it mate lmao.

[-james-]

If you're doing it with certain people then cut contact with them, if you're doing it on your own get a real hobby instead.

[Waffdon]

How does one 'get off the gear', I may have a slight problem.

I’m going out on Saturday drinking for the first time in four weeks and I’m not looking forward to the inevitable phone call two pints down. Pray for me

[SvN]

I've had a terrible cold since Sunday. It ruined my last night in Dublin and made the flight and train back feel horrendous. I felt better when I did 24 hours to Melbourne.

[SincereTheRebel]

How does one 'get off the gear', I may have a slight problem.

Buy it and then sell it.

[Giggles]

I've had a terrible cold since Sunday. It ruined my last night in Dublin and made the flight and train back feel horrendous. I felt better when I did 24 hours to Melbourne.

Did you head out anywhere?

[SvN]

Some expensive places in Temple Bar that nearly bankrupted me. I think one was called Buskers.

[Giggles]

Temple Bar is best avoided but Buskers is about the best spot in it if you’re there (or the Porterhouse). Mad expensive kip.

[SvN]

I think it's where we spent most of our time over the weekend, especially pretty much all day Saturday. The live music was hit and miss, but some of the "hits" were belting.

[Baz]

So I was off work on Monday and Tuesday with a combination of diarrhoea and feeling like I’d been beaten up. Poo went back to normal early on Tuesday so I went to work on Wednesday (plus my mother in law comes round on Wednesdays as childcare and I can’t be doing with her) and actually felt okay in work. Then at about 9 last night I started feeling worse than ever and was sick at about 9:30. Woke up feeling awful again. I don’t feel sick though, and my poos are regular, so at least there’s that.

It’s gonna count as two separate sickness absences though isn’t it? :moop:

[Shindig]

Can you game it by turning up and leaving?

[Spikey M]

If you haven't had your 'back to work' then I'd try to blag it.

[Giggles]

Do you have a desk job? Just go on in so.

[randomlegend]

I had a cold about 2 months ago and with it developed something called "upper airway resistance syndrome" which meant I couldn't sleep barely at all (was literally like being tortured, every time I was dropping off I'd suddenly breathe deeply/heavily and wake up). I was legitimately suicidal at one point. Hasn't resolved with resolution of the cold so I'm now on CPAP at night (which has fixed my morning migraines...) but often needing zopiclone to actually get decent sleep. It feels like there's something physically obstructing the back of my nose which seems to be the route of all the problems. I also just have generally crappy and congested nasal airways.

Awaiting sleep clinic and ENT appointments which will probably happen some time after the next election.

Like ffs if this was going to happen to anyone...

[Pepe]

Been laying on the floor in my office for the past hour or so, feeling like dead. I had the shits at night and vomited earlier. Hope I feel better in a couple hours because I have football.

[Pepe]

I am also freezing even though the heater is at full blast and I am wearing my coat like that weirdo who didn't remove his for a full week.

[Disco]

I had a cold about 2 months ago and with it developed something called "upper airway resistance syndrome" which meant I couldn't sleep barely at all (was literally like being tortured, every time I was dropping off I'd suddenly breathe deeply/heavily and wake up). I was legitimately suicidal at one point. Hasn't resolved with resolution of the cold so I'm now on CPAP at night (which has fixed my morning migraines...) but often needing zopiclone to actually get decent sleep. It feels like there's something physically obstructing the back of my nose which seems to be the route of all the problems. I also just have generally crappy and congested nasal airways.

Awaiting sleep clinic and ENT appointments which will probably happen some time after the next election.

Like ffs if this was going to happen to anyone...

It does sometimes seem like you became a doctor so you could cut out the middle man.

[Lewis]

And not a very good one if he can't sort himself out.

[randomlegend]

Got the ENT appointment through today. Fucking March 18th.

[Spikey M]

Feel like I'm getting a cold. What a cunt.

[Smjffy]

Acid reflux, blood in stool, irregular at bowel movements (perhaps 3 times a week), down to 10stone 7lbs, continually bloated, pains in my side, tiredness/fatigue and it's been that way for a good six months or so. The last time I went to doctors they gave me a kit that even the woman in the chemist didn't really understand and neither did I, I basically had to breathe down a straw into a tube, then drink water with some powder that came with the kit and then I think I had to blow into a straw back into a tube or something. It confused me so I fucked it off.

I got grief in my last job for barely eating and maybe 3 meals a week at best but I put the loss of apetite down to spliting from Banana back in May or whenever. I figured I'd just let nature take its call and see what happens. The last ten days on the spin I have eaten a full on meal every day, mostly rice and fish, knocking the weed on the head as I have done as I was going through an ounce every 7-10 days, dreams are now very real and very fucked but my cloudy mind is clearing somewhat. Maybe in New Year I'll go get checked out again but I find it so pointless as I feel you just get fobbed off. Waiting a good 2/3 weeks for an appointment always puts me off.

Give me your cold any day.

[Spikey M]

I don't see how it would help but I'll send you some sputum if you insist.

[randomlegend]

Acid reflux, blood in stool, irregular at bowel movements (perhaps 3 times a week), down to 10stone 7lbs, continually bloated, pains in my side, tiredness/fatigue and it's been that way for a good six months or so. The last time I went to doctors they gave me a kit that even the woman in the chemist didn't really understand and neither did I, I basically had to breathe down a straw into a tube, then drink water with some powder that came with the kit and then I think I had to blow into a straw back into a tube or something. It confused me so I fucked it off.

I got grief in my last job for barely eating and maybe 3 meals a week at best but I put the loss of apetite down to spliting from Banana back in May or whenever. I figured I'd just let nature take its call and see what happens. The last ten days on the spin I have eaten a full on meal every day, mostly rice and fish, knocking the weed on the head as I have done as I was going through an ounce every 7-10 days, dreams are now very real and very fucked but my cloudy mind is clearing somewhat. Maybe in New Year I'll go get checked out again but I find it so pointless as I feel you just get fobbed off. Waiting a good 2/3 weeks for an appointment always puts me off.

Give me your cold any day.

Mate that is not a constellation of symptoms to ignore. Get yourself back to the doctors.

[Smjffy]

I know I really should but something stops me and I know it might sound a little sick to say but I couldn't really care less anymore. I'm not suicidal but I'll be glad when this life is over so if something was serious inside me (and I kind of think there is that possibility given it seems to be more noticable now than when I last went but never followed up), then good, it'll finish what I couldn't :D. I just try to do as much as I can whilst I float through it, make amends for past mistakes, focus on the future whilst living in the present and accept my flaws for what they are. I think I lost all faith after the mental health business, it took years to pluck up the courage to go and seek professional help as I was continually told on here, eventually did it, got a bullshit diagnosis and then told that because I function to a certain degree there isn't much help there.

When my relationship with Banana started to sink it was as much her actions as it was my mental health, a familiar pattern emerged but the way I responded in the aftermath was much different to normal. I think in all honesty I just can't be assed anymore but not enough to try and end life or blame others, find a root cause or whatever. It is what it is. I'm just a catalogue of errors but I turn a page and make small steps forward each time so I'll keep that going. I'll try and continue not smoking weed, I'll try to continue eating better and my new year plan is to try and quit smoking tobacco and make exercise a regular thing but it's one thing saying it, another doing it.

The important thing for me personally right now is to wait until beginning of the year so I can start my new job as I find keeping myself busy helps and if I can add a few more healthier things then fantastic. I think as a whole this year has probably been my best one in a long time because instead of one step forward and two steps back, I've made a step and stayed there, minus one or two incidents it's been like that since 2017 actually. If I could concentrate, remember more and be a little more consistent then that would help me no end but the only way to do that is to keep trying. I do try to listen more to others and take what they say on board as predominately, the majority can't be wrong and me be right but putting it into practise isn't always as easy as that. I think I'm much more aware of how I tick so I do what I can.

At the risk of this coming across as another mental Tim post though, I'll leave it there.

[randomlegend]

In one breath you're saying you basically hope you die and in the next you're saying you want to do healthier things and quit smoking.

Get to the GP mate seriously.

[Smjffy]

I wouldn't say I hope to die, more that I couldn't really care either way. I won't end it myself so the only option is to live it and do as much as you can do and see how it pans out.

Maybe that sounds fucked and it probably is but I say it with a pinch of salt. I think I'm just tired of life so if it were to end then at least I'd get to sleep in peace. I wish I never said nowt now though. :moo: FML. :D

[phonics]

Just weighed myself for the first time in 10 years. Gone from 50kg to 70. Disgusting. Gym time.

Just looked, that’s 11 stone. That’s fucking mental. I used to be a single digit man. How much effort is losing two stone?

[Giggles]

No man should be single digits unless they’re 12 or Ronnie Corbett.

[phonics]

BMI says 11 is bang in the middle of healthy but sounds like lies to me. They used to say I was unhealthily thin before and it’s time to get back to it.

[randomlegend]

Just get back on the cocaine.

[Spikey M]

50kg is a Chinese fucking gymnast.

[randomlegend]

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3863945/#!po=1.08696

[SincereTheRebel]

Just weighed me for the first time in 10 years. Gone from 50kg to 70. Disgusting. Gym time.

Just looked, that’s 11 stone. That’s fucking mental. I used to be a single-digit man. How much effort is losing two stone?

Fucking pussy. Right now, I weigh more than 16 stones of pure Mandingo mass. Brute power and strength. Complete beast. As Im getting older. Im getting bigger, stronger and darker.

[Spikey M]

Currently sat shivering in a t-shirt, fleece and dressing gown with (Daddy Pig) PJ bottoms on and a blanket over my lap. The thermostat is set to 25c as well. Pretty sure I'm dying.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Merry Christmas.

[Queenslander]

Im in perfect health apart from a cooked mind and a dicky left ankle. I dislocated it when I was 14 running down some steps at school and it has always been a pain in the arse for rolling it. Now days 15 000 plus steps in a day blows it up and aches like a bastard.

[Spikey M]

Now I've no appetite and the shits. :')

I'm pretty sure it's the flu. I've weak legs, throbbing muscles, cold sweats, the works. The kids have both been vaccinated, so hopefully it's the right strain.

[Spikey M]

Turns out our boy was too young to have the vaccine so now both him and my wife have it too. My little girl seems ok. Small blessings.

You forget how awful the flu is until you have it. Having to look after young children whilst having it should have been used as a punishment in the Gulags.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Two or three years ago we had the whole family having the flu over Christmas. It's almost comical. I remember sitting down to watch The Revenant on Christmas evening and thinking Leo was making a big fuss about nothing compared to how I was feeling.

[Spikey M]

I've lost 5kg in a week. M8.

[Giggles]

Lick my face.

[-james-]

Started getting weird bright spots in my vision yesterday evening while exercising. Like what you get if you look directly at a bright light. Still hadn't gone away this morning, rung NHS 24 and they've told me to go to A & E. What a waste of an afternoon this is going to be.

[Foe]

Yeah I’ve had that before. Went away after I ignored it.

Think it was gone by the time I woke up the next day though so a bit odd yours is still there.

[Alan Shearer The 2nd]

This will sound like an odd one but...does anyone ever get what feels like a muscle spasm in their gooch now and again?

I've had this for as long as I can remember but never really thought anything of it. No pain or any others issues, that I'm aware of.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

100% Dick cancer.

RIP.

[Alan Shearer The 2nd]

Well my Dad was diagnosed with prostate cancer last year which did suddenly make me more aware of it when I noticed it again.

That being said, I really do mean I've had it for as long as I can remember so if it was going to be anything serious it'd have happened by now.

[randomlegend]

This will sound like an odd one but...does anyone ever get what feels like a muscle spasm in their gooch now and again?

I've had this for as long as I can remember but never really thought anything of it. No pain or any others issues, that I'm aware of.

Yeah I get that occasionally.

So given it's me it'll probably turn out we've both got mega-AIDs, RIP.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Well my Dad was diagnosed with prostate cancer last year which did suddenly make me more aware of it when I noticed it again.

That being said, I really do mean I've had it for as long as I can remember so if it was going to be anything serious it'd have happened by now.

Shit, sorry about your Dad.

[Shindig]

Same. My dad's had his prostate removed from cancer as well. The day he went in for surgery felt like the longest day of my life. It does make you watch for any small change in behaviour.

[Alan Shearer The 2nd]

Shit, sorry about your Dad.

I knew that would make you feel like a cunt. :D

[SincereTheRebel]

If you want to keep your eyeballs when you die

https://www.organdonation.nhs.uk/uk-laws/organ-donation-law-in-england/

[mugbull]

Why would I want to keep my eyeballs after I die

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

An opt-out system is the right thing.

[SincereTheRebel]

Just in case they figure out how to bring you back to life. If some kid from uganda has your eyeballs, you are fucked lad.

[mugbull]

A mandatory redistribution of all functioning body parts is the right way to do it. I’d love for a kid in Uganda to end up with my eyeballs, he’d look quite out of place though which maybe he wouldn’t want

[Lewis]

You should have to opt in. At some point I need to get around to opting out and then opting back in.

[Offshore Toon]

Imagine the funding required to bring everyone back to life. We should start a gofundme to get Richie back.

EDIT: or Magic.

[Offshore Toon]

Doctor gave me pills for migraines today. I'm not sure if that's because they're avoiding antibiotics or not. Headaches are the worst symptom by far of my cold/flu/weva, but I really hope I don't start getting migraines regularly. The amount of snot is reassuring in that sense.

I've been getting a slight ache/pain in my testies too but didn't have time to go over that today. It's slightly concerning, but a couple of my mates said they've had similar and I can't feel a lump so that can wait a week to be checked.

[Spikey M]

I had the flu over Christmas and my knackers ached like a bitch.

[Smjffy]

Mate that is not a constellation of symptoms to ignore. Get yourself back to the doctors.

So I finally went. I had a full blood count done and showed low B12 levels, high aminotransferase levels, high reactive protein levels, high monocyte count etc amongst other things. I Googled most the bloods as they don't make sense to me but none of the ones that have 'high' written next to them look like good ones to have high levels in whereas Googling the % of red blood cells suggests mine are larger than they should be?. Booked in for an endoscopy which found what they called a hiatus hernia, discreet erosion and oesophigitis/other, a Google told me that it's basically a part of your stomach going into your esophagus and now I'm back in tomorrow but I'm not entirely sure what for other than it's to see someone and to take a urine sample with me. Woman on phone said consultation then I got the letter which says I'm seeing someone who's a specialist in general surgery, I don't know if that means I'm to expect some further news or if they are just going to give me some advice or whatever but the mind does wander.

Are you any good at reading blood results, RL?

[randomlegend]

Obviously I've not seen everything and so this is just general advice but:
B12 is a vitamin; the main issue low levels usually cause is a low level of red blood cells since you need B12 to make red cells. It being low will also cause you to have larger red cells.
Aminotransferases are produced by the liver and high levels is usually a result of damage/inflammation of the liver of one kind or another. Could be many many many causes for that.
Reactive proteins, is that CRP? That's a measure of inflammation.
Monocytes to be honest I have no clue, it's not one I pay much attention to.

Your stomach is below your diaphragm (the big flat muscle you use to breathe) so in order for your oesophagus to reach it, the oesophagus has to go through a hole in the diaphragm. A hiatus hernia is where part of the stomach goes back up through that hole. It tends to cause acid reflux (where the acid from your stomach comes up into your oesophagus) which would be a logical cause of the oesophagitis (which just means inflammation of the oesophagus).

The general surgery appointment could be to discuss having the hernia fixed.

[Smjffy]

I'll try take a picture and upload it if you have a chance to take a look but you're not too far from what I managed to Google. It's the numbers that confuse me the most.

Surprised how quick it's all happened, I anticipated waiting weeks but endoscopy was four days after Dr appointment and now I gotta go back which I wasn't expecting so it makes me think a little more than I probably should.

EDIT:


https://i.ibb.co/Wv80D86/IMG-20200119-193738.jpg


It's in the spoiler. Anything I should be worried about?

[randomlegend]

That CRP is not high, the aminotransferase is barely high and although the B12 is a bit low your haemoglobin is normal. Don't look worrying at all to me.

[Smjffy]

That's reassuring at least. I'm still none the wiser what I'm going in for tomorrow but just have to see I guess. When I Googled I went right down a rabbit hole, as you do.

[Baz]

Woke up with all the symptoms of a terrible hangover, bar being sick. Ugh. Didn’t even have the fun part of drinking to get here. :sick:

[randomlegend]

That's reassuring at least. I'm still none the wiser what I'm going in for tomorrow but just have to see I guess. When I Googled I went right down a rabbit hole, as you do.

Like I said I suspect it's about the hiatus hernia if you're seeing a general surgeon.

[Smjffy]

I shouldn't be too concerned about the hiatus hernia as they are quite common apparently but I've now been booked in for the dreaded one. A fuckin colonoscopy. That's a nightmare scenario and probably close to where I say fuck that tbh. My ass is going to be tainted. :cry:

[Baz]

:chortle:

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Thumb. It. In.

[Mellberg]

I shouldn't worry too much. It's probably no bigger than the cock you take on the regs.

[randomlegend]

Just tell them you're really worried about it and ask for maximum sedation. You won't even remember it.

[Spikey M]

And maximum lubrication.

[Smjffy]

I shouldn't worry too much. It's probably no bigger than the cock you take on the regs.

You'd know all about taking cock given your history, eh. :D

[Smjffy]

Just tell them you're really worried about it and ask for maximum sedation. You won't even remember it.

I'll mentally prepare, somehow. I'm actually hoping I see the screen as although the endoscopy was horrible, the screen was right beside me so watching it was quite fascinating until I kept forgetting to breath in through nose then started gagging like a bitch.

[Spikey M]

Having your gag reflex triggered and having your anal cherry popped in the same week. Christ.

[Smjffy]

I think I've just discovered my new job, John.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Having your gag reflex triggered and having your anal cherry popped in the same week. Christ.

:D

[John]

Been in hospital since Saturday with a suspected stroke and 'profound' anaemia. They reckon I've got some as yet undiscovered internal slow puncture that's produced the anaemia, because if my red cell count had gone as low as it is quickly it would have floored me.

[Spikey M]

Christ. Wishing you well John. Without meaning to be too invasive, is this linked to your parents condition? What are they doing for you?

[John]

Christ. Wishing you well John. Without meaning to be too invasive, is this linked to your parents condition? What are they doing for you?

Family history definitely played a part in how quickly things moved initially but I reckon I'd have been admitted on symptoms alone.

It's largely just tests for the moment, two MRIs today with a camera down my throat to look for the bleed, a CT Angio, and another two tests I couldn't name to come later in the week. I had a CT when I first came in too, and a two bag blood transfusion overnight the first night.

[Spikey M]

Fuck me. Hopefully they can find out what it is and sort you out quickly.

[Boydy]

Jesus.

Get well soon.

[Lewis]

We should set up some sort of bot to call phonics a wanker in case he doesn't.

[Mike]

Yeah John, hope you’re on the mend soon :(

[bruhnaldo]

Get well soon buddy.

[Shindig]

Frig. Best of luck, John.

[Giggles]

Jesus, only see this now. Hope they’re getting you sorted John.

[John]

Lumbar puncture to come now too. Fun.

[Ian]

What's one of those? Do I want to know?

Is it a big ol' injection into the back?

[Shindig]

Otherwise known as a spinal tap.

[randomlegend]

What's one of those? Do I want to know?

Is it a big ol' injection into the back?

Needle between the vertebrae into the fluid around the spinal cord to take a sample.

[Lewis]

RIP John. What size are them orange trainers?

[Smjffy]

I'm still waiting for results on my colonoscopy which may I add was every bit as grim as expected. Some polyps were removed and I think that's what I'm waiting to hear to see if they are anything to worry about and then go from there. I initially had the appointment on the 3rd but silly me fucked up the prep side of things and so I had to return on Monday having done it correctly so I should know in the next 2/3 weeks apparently. Hemorrhoids was also noted but that could have been from straining or something. I then walked out with my tail between my legs feeling violated yet slightly optimistic that it's all coming to an end.

If I have to have another one then I think I'm going to get sedated as it was all a bit too much.

[randomlegend]

I'm still waiting for results on my colonoscopy which may I add was every bit as grim as expected. Some polyps were removed and I think that's what I'm waiting to hear to see if they are anything to worry about and then go from there. I initially had the appointment on the 3rd but silly me fucked up the prep side of things and so I had to return on Monday having done it correctly so I should know in the next 2/3 weeks apparently. Hemorrhoids was also noted but that could have been from straining or something. I then walked out with my tail between my legs feeling violated yet slightly optimistic that it's all coming to an end.

If I have to have another one then I think I'm going to get sedated as it was all a bit too much.

Were you not sedated at all? Or just not fully put to sleep?

[Baz]

I initially had the appointment on the 3rd but silly me fucked up the prep side of things and so I had to return on Monday having done it correctlyForgot to wipe? :henn0rz:

[Smjffy]

Were you not sedated at all? Or just not fully put to sleep?

Not at all. You were given the option on the form prior to it but it would have meant having to stay longer whilst it wore off and tbh, I would much rather have got the hell out of there. I don't know if they injected my ass or whatever as the worst part was feeling it go in and then more uncomfortable than anything as it worked its way in and around. After it finished and a little chat with the chap I was able to go home maybe 20 minutes later, not before I used the loo and let rip with the longest fart I think I've ever had.

I would say the endoscopy is far worse if I'm honest.

[Smjffy]

Forgot to wipe? :henn0rz:

Please. I've done so much wiping that my ass was redder than your avatar. I simply drank the movacol stuff a day too soon but it was an easy mix up given how it's written on the letter it come with. Perhaps the best thing about the last two weeks is I've had some glorious liquidised shit. I don't think I've ever watched a full documentary whilst sat on the loo before now.

[randomlegend]

Not at all. You were given the option on the form prior to it but it would have meant having to stay longer whilst it wore off and tbh, I would much rather have got the hell out of there. I don't know if they injected my ass or whatever as the worst part was feeling it go in and then more uncomfortable than anything as it worked its way in and around. After it finished and a little chat with the chap I was able to go home maybe 20 minutes later, not before I used the loo and let rip with the longest fart I think I've ever had.

I would say the endoscopy is far worse if I'm honest.

Always get the sedation man....you don't even remember it.

[7om]

Sorry to hear about your situation, John. Hope it all works out.

[John]

A male nurse from Doctor Congo started a rotation on my ward today. He introduced himself thus; 'I'm Zeus, but you can call me Sambo'. It took everything I had not to collapse into laughter on the spot, but he's since spent all day telling me not to be a Casanova because 'de woman, dey know' so I'm entertaining a five percent possibility I'm just far more ill than I realised.

[Kikó]

Good luck John.

[Spikey M]

A male nurse from Doctor Congo started a rotation on my ward today. He introduced himself thus; 'I'm Zeus, but you can call me Sambo'. It took everything I had not to collapse into laughter on the spot, but he's since spent all day telling me not to be a Casanova because 'de woman, dey know' so I'm entertaining a five percent possibility I'm just far more ill than I realised.

Stay positive, he's probably just going to rape you.

[Giggles]

What’s the situation now John? Any further news or progress?

[John]

They've found three ulcers, one of which they reckon has been there for around six years, which have all been bleeding and have between them caused the anaemia. My MRI and CT Angio were both clear, so they're putting the strokey symptoms down to a migraine presenting abnormally for now and will revisit that if it happens again. Lumbar puncture is shelved.

They want to do a couple more blood tests, but it's looking like I'll get out this afternoon.

[Raoul Duke]

Glad to hear that, man. Sounds like a decent outcome overall.

[Spikey M]

Sounds shit but it could have been a hell of a lot shitter so I'm sure you'll take it. Getting away without a Lumbar puncture, which sounds like actual hell, is a result as well.

[Ian]

How does an ulcer get dealt with? Is it a thing that you just have once it's there or can it be treated so it's properly gone?

[bruhnaldo]

Glad it wasn't worse, John.

[John]

How does an ulcer get dealt with? Is it a thing that you just have once it's there or can it be treated so it's properly gone?

Seems like antibiotics are the way to go. I'm in the discharge lounge now waiting for two boxes of those to appear. I've to come back as an outpatient for another camera down my neck in six weeks to see how they're getting on, and presumably they'll try something else at that point if they aren't working.

[Ian]

Fingers crossed, then. Better news than it sounded like it might be.

[Disco]

Presumably there are dietary things you can do to help, or at least not make them worse. Assuming they're stomach ulcers of course.

Glad you're not dead yet John.

[John]

Hopefully there's a different charge nurse in the camera tube bit when I go back, because the one on yesterday was no fun at all. There seemed to be different suites you were taken to depending on which end the tube was going in, but they shared a waiting room. I was talking the woman beside me in the waiting room. When she told me she was waiting for a colonoscopy I dropped the incredibly lame, small talk joke 'well I hope I get to use the tube before you do.'

She fucking panicked and went straight to the nurse's station to make sure they had more than one tube in use, and the severe little nurse came over to assure me that colonoscopies were no laughing matter. All very funny, but I'd rather not see her again.

[Ian]

:D

[Spikey M]

:lol:

[Giggles]

They've found three ulcers, one of which they reckon has been there for around six years, which have all been bleeding and have between them caused the anaemia. My MRI and CT Angio were both clear, so they're putting the strokey symptoms down to a migraine presenting abnormally for now and will revisit that if it happens again. Lumbar puncture is shelved.

They want to do a couple more blood tests, but it's looking like I'll get out this afternoon.

Nice one. Must be a big relief.

[bruhnaldo]

lmao at the tube joke.

[Shindig]

I think I like this new fun John. In other news, the suspected Coronavirus case in the office got the all clear.

[randomlegend]

Seems like antibiotics are the way to go. I'm in the discharge lounge now waiting for two boxes of those to appear. I've to come back as an outpatient for another camera down my neck in six weeks to see how they're getting on, and presumably they'll try something else at that point if they aren't working.

Stomach ulcers are mostly caused by a bacteria called h. pylori. Nobody believed the guy who discovered that so he proved it using himself as the labrat; had an endoscopy showing no ulcers, drank the bacteria, had a follow-up showing ulcers, cured himself with antibiotics, final follow-up showing resolution of ulcers. H. Pylori eradication is I think an anti-biotic (maybe two) and a PPI (omeprazolr, lansoprazole, etc) to reduce stomach acid.

I'm glad it's turned out to be something very treatable.

[randomlegend]

Presumably there are dietary things you can do to help, or at least not make them worse. Assuming they're stomach ulcers of course.

Glad you're not dead yet John.

Surprisingly it makes little difference apparently.

[Alex]

Stomach ulcers are mostly caused by a bacteria called h. pylori. Nobody believed the guy who discovered them so he proved it using himself as the latest; had an endoscopy showing no ulcers, drank the bacteria, had a follow-up showing ulcers, cured himself with antibiotics, final follow-up showing resolution of ulcers. H. Pylori eradication is I think an anti-biotic (maybe two) and a PPI (omeprazolr, lansoprazole, etc) to reduce stomach acid.

I'm glad it's turned out to be something very treatable.

What a guy.

Get well soon John. Although it still doesn't sound particularly pleasant, I'm glad it wasn't as bad as originally feared. :thbup:

[Boydy]

Glad to hear it's (relatively) good news.

Also :D at the tube joke.