Weekend Football (04/05/06) aka the Merseyside-London + London DERBY!!!!

[Pleb]

Saturday 3rd March (15:00 kickoff unless stated)

The English Premier League:
Manchester Utd v AFC Bournemouth - 12:30 (SS1HD/SSMIXHD/SSUHD)
Leicester City v Hull City
Stoke City v Middlesbrough
Swansea City v Burnley
Watford v Southampton
West Brom v Crystal Palace
Liverpool v Arsenal - 17:30 (BTS1HD/BTS4KUHD)

The EFL Championship:
Blackburn Rovers v Wigan
Bristol City v Burton Albion
Derby v Barnsley
Fulham v Preston
Ipswich Town v Brentford
Nottingham Forest v Brighton
QPR v Cardiff City
Reading v Wolves
Rotherham Utd v Aston Villa
Sheffield Wednesday v Norwich City
Huddersfield v Newcastle Utd - 17:30 (SS1HD)

Ladbrokes Scottish Premiership:
Kilmarnock v Motherwell

The William Hill Scottish Cup Quarter Finals:
Rangers v Hamilton - 12:30 (SS2HD)
Hibernian v Ayr Utd

Sunday 5th March (14:00 kickoff unless stated)

The English Premier League:
Tottenham Hotspur v Everton - 13:30 (SS1HD)
Sunderland v Manchester City - 16:00 (SS1HD)

The William Hill Scottish Cup Quarter Finals
Celtic v St Mirren - 12:30 (SS5HD)
Aberdeen v Partick Thistle (BBC1SCOTHD)

Monday 6th March (20:00 kickoff unless stated)

Monday Night London Derby:
West Ham Utd v Chelsea (SS1HD/SSUHD)

Other Live Football (http://www.live-footballontv.com/)

[Jimmy Floyd]

If England were like other countries, West Ham/Chelsea would be the main London derby. It has all the ingredients for cross-city hatred - West Ham, the poor boys from the ironworks, from an area unloved for decades, poor transport links, famous criminals, the works. Chelsea, the most expensive postcodes in the land, millionaires everywhere, pensioners in red coats knocking about, aristocracy, the works. The representatives of London's industrial past against those of its moneyed, cosmopolitan present.

We're not like other countries though, and so the main London derby is Arsenal and Spurs, formed over a money related squabble and residual associated bitterness that happened 100 years ago and which nobody really remembers anyway.

[Shindig]

Forget all that. Huddersfield is the centre of the universe tomorrow.

[phonics]

If England were like other countries, West Ham/Chelsea would be the main London derby. It has all the ingredients for cross-city hatred - West Ham, the poor boys from the ironworks, from an area unloved for decades, poor transport links, famous criminals, the works. Chelsea, the most expensive postcodes in the land, millionaires everywhere, pensioners in red coats knocking about, aristocracy, the works. The representatives of London's industrial past against those of its moneyed, cosmopolitan present.

We're not like other countries though, and so the main London derby is Arsenal and Spurs, formed over a money related squabble and residual associated bitterness that happened 100 years ago and which nobody really remembers anyway.

Absolute and total wank written at an hour where you've had too many IPAs.

[Boydy]

It sounds about right to me.

[Lewis]

I could see him supping 'IPAs' at his computer though. Why not just have one to take the edge off all this bullshit cricket admin I do for free like a complete cu... Oh, I've done the full pack in.

[Jimmy Floyd]

I don't think I've ever drunk an IPA.

Also, I'm not sure what can be 'wank' about that post. I haven't got any FACTS wrong.

[Lewis]

The North London Derby pits probably the worst Twitter fans against each other, so you're wrong to say there is nothing in it.

[Jimmy Floyd]

River/Boca
Real Madrid/Atlético
Schalke/Dortmund
Benfica/Sporting
Sevilla/Betis
Juventus/Torino

Posh lot first in all cases. There must be countless further examples (most of them in Brazil if I could ever remember which of their teams is which). We don't have anything like that over here, even though we had the most pronounced class system.

You also have the derbies formed around historical versions of the Remain/Leave divide, like Barcelona-Espanyol and Milan-Inter, which would favour a north v south London derby (no such thing exists).

[Lewis]

We have that at a national level (and with Wales).

[Mazuuurk]

We don't have anything like that over here, even though we had the most pronounced class system.

Bit of a Trumpesque boast tbh

[Adamski]

River/Boca
Real Madrid/Atlético
Schalke/Dortmund
Benfica/Sporting
Sevilla/Betis
Juventus/Torino

Posh lot first in all cases. There must be countless further examples (most of them in Brazil if I could ever remember which of their teams is which). We don't have anything like that over here, even though we had the most pronounced class system.

You also have the derbies formed around historical versions of the Remain/Leave divide, like Barcelona-Espanyol and Milan-Inter, which would favour a north v south London derby (no such thing exists).

Rangers/Celtic
Disco/Giggles
John/Hammer

I think you've cracked it.

Is it Spurs vs Everton that's always 1-1?

[Spammer]

THE MIGHTY BLADES are away at Rochdale as we continue our unstoppable march to the League One title :cool:

[Jimmy Floyd]

Rangers/Celtic
Disco/Giggles
John/Hammer

I think you've cracked it.

Is it Spurs vs Everton that's always 1-1?

Yep, and it's tomorrow. Everyone full bank on it please.

[Waffdon]

1-1 twice in six years, m8

[Giggles]

Waffs right you know.

[Jimmy Floyd]

25 times in 173 meetings. That's more often than 1 in 7. Fact.

[Lewis]

I bet Paulp Ogba didn't even know he was that fast.

[Jimmy Floyd]

United should be scoring eight to ten goals here.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Look at how progressive we are, letting a lesbian score.

[Lewis]

'Zlatan' is having a well-earned day off, so it will be 1-1 or 2-0.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Ibrahimovic's wankery is costing them here. In these games you need the centre forward scoring his two free goals.

[Jimmy Floyd]

This is some of the worst officiating I've ever seen.

[Lewis]

lol he isn't having that. :cool:

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Kevin Friend is having a mare.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Should be 10 v 9.

Mings is playing his last football of the season, should be a 10+ game ban for that stamp. In fact, why let him play football again? He's deliberately stamped on someone's head.

[Lewis]

'Zlatan' will surely get three matches (although it should be reduced to one for setting the 'If that was Diego Costa...' tears off on Chelsea Twitter), but that stamp has to be worth a few more.

[Jimmy Floyd]

If it was Diego Costa he'd get away with it and then score the winner later on.

[Weaver]

If Haye vs Bellew is even half of this brutality :drool:

838015719174516741

[elth]

Not often I get to catch a game of football these days so it's nice that they've put on some bonus MMA.

[Foe]

Zlatan lands (studs first) on Mings.
Mings stands on Zlatans head.
Zlatan elbows Mings.
Red card for Surman.

Best league in the world.

[Ian]

In fact, why let him play football again? He's deliberately stamped on someone's head.

Indeed. There's absolutely no doubt about what he was up to.

A bit lol that Surman's the one who's ended up off somehow of the three.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Mings is after Swedish blood.

[elth]

A 10 v 9 game would actually be pretty cool so it's a shame Friend bottled/missed the two straight reds.

[Lewis]

A win here will probably get Eddie Howe the Arsenal job, so this might be a slow-burning MIND GAME.

[Lewis]

Antonio Valencia. :drool:

[elth]

This game though.

[Waffdon]

Man Utd have had a ridiculous amount of decisions this season.

[Jimmy Floyd]

He quite transparently gave that on the appeal from the crowd/Pogba. Such a cowardly refereeing performance.

[Jimmy Floyd]

He's then failed to stop the game for a clear concussion/head injury there. A fuck up for everyone in this performance.

[Magic]

Friend is a notorious shitecunt. He will probably be our next ref.

[Lewis]

Somebody needs to have a goal ruled out/allowed and this is the complete refereeing performance.

[Magic]

Omg that Afobe thing will be a dank meme for the next two weeks.

[Magic]

£90 million. :D

[Ian]

The state of Pogba's decisions as that game went on.

[elth]

Absolute garbage from United in the second half.

[Lewis]

I should have had money on that.

[Reg]

United were really poor. That match showed what I meant about Pogba: hasn't the ability the control a game, not even against ten men. He hasn't got the decision making and clarity of thought yet. On top of that he was a bit of a shambles with his touch and finishing at the end.

[Kikó]

Yet again fail to take advantage. Incredibly frustrating.

[Magic]

Yet again fail to take advantage. Incredibly frustrating.

I know mate 12 v 10 too.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Bournemouth should have been down to 8 men by the end so you can't accuse the Friendster of bias, he was just historically useless.

[Adamski]

The famous Glasgow Rangers are back :cool:

[niko_cee]

If Alan Shearer never meant to kick Neil Lennon's face off then I'm not having that as some kind of intentional act by Mears, even with all of Jamie and Thierry's circumstantial musings.

Mourinho's going to lose the plot when Zlatan gets a ban and Tyrone doesn't.

[Magic]

The famous Glasgow Rangers are back :cool:

And we thought Kevin Friend was shite.

[Adamski]

And we thought Kevin Friend was shite.

Takes guess at the only club in the British isles who've had a worse 5 years :drool:

[elth]

Given Mourinho brought on fucking Fellaini to try to break down a 9 man defence, he really needs to keep his mouth shut if he tries to blame anyone else for that debacle.

[Disco]

The famous Glasgow Rangers are back :cool:

I thought the last lot (the ones that won all the trophies) were the famous ones? You know, the ones that went tits up.

[Adamski]

I thought the last lot (the ones that won all the trophies) were the famous ones? You know, the ones that went tits up.

Yeah that's kinda us! Disco :cool:

[mo]

Looks like our survival in this league is entirely dependent on Nicky Ajose. Can't score without him (injured today. 17 shots for, lost 1-0 with last kick of the game)

[Pleb]

The mini league for second is pretty hilarious.

Saying that Leicester won again :drool:

[Reg]

Huddersfield five points off with 2 games in hand. I might cry if we go into the playoffs again. Really need Newcastle to beat them today.

[Gray Fox]

It's fair to say I'm surprised with the Arsenal teamsheet.

[phonics]

Big Weng pumping balls up to Danny Wellbeck :cool:

[phonics]

Lol at this interview. That is an angry, angry, Arsene.

[-james-]

Huddersfield five points off with 2 games in hand. I might cry if we go into the playoffs again. Really need Newcastle to beat them today.

You think? Huddersfield seem scarier than Newcastle going off the basis of the last month or two.

[niko_cee]

It's 6 points isn't it (and all the goal difference)?

Felt today would have been a big win, but not to be. Still, winning the remaining homes games should (almost) be enough on it's own and I'm sure they'll pick some points up on the road (I might go to Norwich). Definitely all aboard the Newcastle train today.

[Gray Fox]

That was a little too easy...

[Raoul Duke]

Shite defending from Arsenal

[GS]

It's difficult to be remotely enthused about the "Battle for Fourth".

[Reg]

Ah it is 6.


You think? Huddersfield seem scarier than Newcastle going off the basis of the last month or two.
I can't see Newcastle slipping past the two of us. Just need to keep Huddersfield at bay.

I don't think we'll beat Leeds this month. Hopefully we can beat Rotherham and Derby.

[Shindig]

Do Huddersfield have a game in hand or is the BBC table slow on the uptake? I didn't expect today to go this way, if I'm honest.

[niko_cee]

Yeah, they have a game n hand due to the FA Cup games.

[Gray Fox]

This is both great and infuriating at the same time. Great for obvious reasons, but all those wasted losses. The Hull game, Leicester, Burnley, Swansea etc. Where was this fight and desire then?

[John Arne]

Short corner number 26,295 that has proved a waste of time......

[Boydy]

Why is it 'Alexis' and not just 'Sanchez'?

[John Arne]

I'm at a loss at to what Iwobi does for Arsenal... another completely anonymous performance.

[Gray Fox]

ArsenalFan TV sure to be another laugh tonight.

Dropping Sanchez was idiotic. They looked more much of a threat with him on.

[niko_cee]

This is both great and infuriating at the same time. Great for obvious reasons, but all those wasted losses. The Hull game, Leicester, Burnley, Swansea etc. Where was this fight and desire then?

Liverpool's record against the top and the bottom half of the table is ridiculous.

All 5 defeats against bottom dwelling shite, probably top of a top 10 table.

It's not even inconsistent. It's relentlessly predictable.

[Raoul Duke]

The brass neck on Dyche moaning about 'decisions going against you' when they got a goal for a penalty from a handball from their own player :cab:

[Giggles]

What was that Huddersfield keeper at? Such a shame seeing Newcastle going back up so soon.

[Giggles]

I thought there had to be daylight between an attacker and last defender for them to be offside. When did it change back to just having a limb sticking out making you offside?

[SvN]

I'm pretty sure that was never a rule. It's just a myth perpetuated by people for some reason.

[Gray Fox]

It's if any part of the body you can legally play the ball with, is beyond the last defender. So sticking your arm out is okay, but leaning your head, not so.

[Giggles]

I'm pretty sure that was never a rule. It's just a myth perpetuated by people for some reason.

That makes more sense as if they'd made the rule daylight it'd be really pointless changing it back.

[SvN]

This from 2002 seems to indicate that commentators were just talking out of their arses.

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/sport/3033085/FA-dismiss-offside-rule-change.html

[randomlegend]

I thought it was that officials had been advised to give the benefit of the doubt to attackers when it was close, and the 'daylight' thing somehow came out of that.

[Giggles]

Be lucky if this one reaches the heady heights of 1-1.

EDIT: and as I hit post there's one. Shit keeper.

[Giggles]

They're going to get some wad for Kane in the summer. Levy must have a full root on him.

[Lewis]

I can't see him moving unless they revert to being bollocks and he forces it.

[Giggles]

They're a club that always sells. I'd say he's shopping him about already.

[Lewis]

The Tunnel Club would pogrom the microbrewery if they sold their best player to United right before they moved into their new stadium.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Can you imagine Ed Woodward and co trying to get a deal out of Daniel Levy? It would be a world record fee and would stand for years.

Real Madrid could probably get him for £120 million, United would be nearer £200 million.

[Lewis]

I don't know. The Levy Aura has taken a bit of a hammering since he Jewed United for kidnapping Berbatoss (although them even doing that suggests they figured he was ultimately a bit of a bitch). Luka Modric went for about half of what he was really worth, he let 'AVB' waste all of the Bareth Gale money, and then he gave Tim Sherwood a full-time contract. Ed Woodward 2.0, fresh from making Juventus settle up with that fat idiot who represents Paulp Ogba, would probably dazzle him with Twitter followers and complimentary noodles.

[Giggles]

Sagna, Clichy, Kolarov. Which one is playing as a centre half from them?

[Reg]

It'll be Kolarov, he usually plays there for Pep.

I thought Spurs did really well for about 65 minutes, completely shut Everton down. They don't make it a very exciting game sometimes but they're so good at never giving anyone time. That Alli goal at the end was so classy.

[Baz]

Redders and Souness doing the Kane and Alli celebration was probably peak 2017 TV for me. :D

[Baz]

They did it again, only this time Souness instigated :lol:

[Giggles]

Such a legend :cool:

[Waffdon]

Daily Cahill is a mong post.

[Max Power]

That geezer jumping out the crowd to go after Hazard :D

Classic West Ham.

[Waffdon]

Lovely goal.

West Ham fans. :D

[Max Power]

Kante should really be winning player of the year this time.

[Waffdon]

Chelsea's goals are always on the counter it seems. Déjà vu every week.

Shame the bloke didn't go closer - Costa was ready for a square up.

[Waffdon]

What a player Kante is.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Kante should really be winning player of the year this time.

The thought of our midfield with Matic and Fabregas all season gives me a cold sweat. We'd genuinely be 10-15 points worse I think.

Leicester would be a solid 8th if he was still there.

[Jimmy Floyd]

West Ham should really make their pitch 20 yards wider and just hire a load of drug-fuelled wing backs. The stadium makes no sense otherwise.

That defending should be sackings/life bans.

[Max Power]

He's the absolute perfect midfielder to play counter attacking football with. Vardy would probably bag 30 for Chelsea with him and Hazard and co.

Disappointed Costa didn't wade into the crowd to have a scrap there

[Jimmy Floyd]

The other geezer who has been an absolute boss for us this year, who was shit last year, is Pedro. More or less impossible to defend against, like a fleet of foot Thomas Müller.

[Reg]

Flicked on for a few minutes and happened to see the goal, but way better was the Hazard pass off his back. :cool:

[Smiffy]

It's a shame Chelsea have been so dominant this season because if they joined the rest of the top 6 then it would be a fascinating title race. As it is, the cunts have it and have done for weeks. I'm hoping a top four of Chelsea, City, Tottenham and ourselves. Man United missing out would be too funny given the spending whilst ArsenalFanTV will make great viewing when they fail and Wenger resigns for two years.

[Waffdon]

Pedro/Willian and Fabregas/Matic forever being subbed on.

Edit: Poor Michy again.

[Jimmy Floyd]

We'll need about 5 more players next season to deal with the extra games, one of which will be dear Michy, but unfortunately his first touch is further than most people can kick it. He'd score 80 goals in the Championship, bless him.

The others will be another wing back on each side (as if these two have gone through nearly a full season), a poor man's Kanté and a fully fit Zouma.

[Baz]

Has anyone watched a game at West Ham's stadium? I'd hate to be so far away.

[Disco]

The other geezer who has been an absolute boss for us this year, who was shit last year, is Pedro. More or less impossible to defend against, like a fleet of foot Thomas Müller.

I had him pegged as being horribly flattered by playing for Barcelona but he has been rather good this year.

[Bam]

Has anyone watched a game at West Ham's stadium? I'd hate to be so far away.

I've got a season ticket and my seat is pretty decent, in fact that fella that went after Hazard was not far in from me.

[Jimmy Floyd]

http://www.bbc.co.uk/sport/football/39188178


Chelsea manager Antonio Conte told his players to "keep their feet on the ground" after they beat West Ham 2-1 on Monday to take another big step towards the Premier League title.

The Blues lead second-placed Tottenham by 10 points with 11 games left.

Supporters were singing "we're going to win the league" at London Stadium, but Conte said: "We must think we have to take 26 points. We go step by step."

Those points would mean a total of 92 - the maximum Spurs can accumulate is 89.

This sort of thing on the beeb really winds me up for some reason - the utter refusal to acknowledge games in hand when referring to league standings. City can get 91 points but apparently because they aren't currently second, they don't exist.

[phonics]

Just perusing the internet and came across this most 90s of all pictures

http://cdn.planetfootball.com/content/uploads/2017/03/07112939/Benito-Carbone-David-Pleat.jpg

[Jimmy Floyd]

I'll put it in the album along with this one:

http://i.dailymail.co.uk/i/pix/2016/04/05/12/32DDAFC400000578-0-image-a-23_1459855068364.jpg

[Adamski]

Just perusing the internet and came across this most 90s of all pictures

http://cdn.planetfootball.com/content/uploads/2017/03/07112939/Benito-Carbone-David-Pleat.jpg

Very dry spaghetti.

[phonics]

He asked for Penne and David Pleat called him a show-off and he never played for Wednesday again.

[Jimmy Floyd]

I wonder what was on David Pleat's wife's weekly menu in 1995.

Monday: Ham, egg and chips
Tuesday: Boiled chicken, boiled potatoes and boiled carrots
Wednesday: Sausages, mash and baked beans
Thursday: A trip down the local bistro for some coq au vin (very fancy)
Friday: Fish & chips

Thank god for Arsene Wenger, eh.

[Adamski]

Swap Thursday and Friday and I think you've cracked true Presbyterian Middle England.

[Max Power]

Mrs Pleat certainly wasn't on the menu herself if David's late night habits are anything to go by.

[Disco]

Good evening officer, yes it's just stuck in first gear.

[Boydy]

Swap Thursday and Friday and I think you've cracked true Presbyterian Middle England.

Are there many Presbyterians in England?

[Disco]

Sounds like one of those new genders they have up in that London.

[Adamski]

Are there many Presbyterians in England?

Oh they're there, watching & waiting.

*Probably not but it's all made up anyway so let them do what they like.

[Offshore Toon]

Brighton are getting (way) too big for their boots. Mon Huddersfield.

[niko_cee]

Careful what you wish for.

[Offshore Toon]

We always lose to Fulham. I don't know why, but it's just the way.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Watching the Old Firm game. Only 1-0 but Rangers barely have a right to be on the same pitch they are so bad.

The Celtic left back, Tierney, must be one of the best young Scottish players for years. They might just put a side together for the next Euros.

[Foe]

Watching the Old Firm game. Only 1-0 but Rangers barely have a right to be on the same pitch they are so bad.

The Celtic left back, Tierney, must be one of the best young Scottish players for years. They might just put a side together for the next Euros.

He's very one footed. Also means one of Robertson/Tierney sits on the bench whilst Callum Paterson swans about at RB.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Robertson to right back then. Wrong footed full backs can be handy against those modern wingers who never go on the outside.

[Waffdon]

Tierney is far better defensively than Robertson so if you were to go down that route, I'd have Tierney at right back. Not that it'd ever happen. More likely to play Robertson in front of him.