[Football] Weekend Fixtures (18/19 Feb) ft. a questionable amount of magic

[Reg]

http://www.live-footballontv.com

SATURDAY
FA Cup
Burnley v Lincoln City - 12:30 BTS2
Huddersfield Town v Manchester City
Middlesbrough v Oxford United
Millwall v Leicester City
Wolverhampton Wanderers v Chelsea - 17:30 BTS2

Championship
Barnsley v Brighton & Hove Albion
Birmingham City v Queens Park Rangers
Burton Albion v Norwich City
Cardiff City v Rotherham United
Ipswich Town v Leeds United
Nottingham Forest v Sheffield Wednesday
Wigan Athletic v Preston North End

SUNDAY
FA Cup
Fulham v Tottenham Hotspur - 14:00 BBC1
Blackburn Rovers v Manchester United - 16:15 BTS2

MONDAY
FA Cup
Sutton United v Arsenal - 19:55 BBC1

Championship
Newcastle United v Aston Villa - 20:00 SS1

[Offshore Toon]

Monday night is such a shit time for football.

[Giggles]

Presidents Cup (Community Shield) tonight. Tidy free kick.

832700188300972034

[Shindig]

Tense times. Have Villa been up to much since Brucey got involved?

[Reg]

In hospital with an arm break and there are no BBC games dammit!

[Offshore Toon]

What have you done this time?

[phonics]

Tense times. Have Villa been up to much since Brucey got involved?

They haven't won since Boxing Day.

[Reg]

What have you done this time?
Slipped over running for a ball in tennis.

Dangerous sport, tennis! ...

[Giggles]

That fixture list for today is so piss poor, teams really don't give a shite any more. Is this the 5th round too?

[phonics]

You'd be complaining that there had been no upsets if it was all PL teams.

[Giggles]

You'd be complaining that there had been no upsets if it was all PL teams.

I never cared much for the whole 'magic' bollocks so the upsets are lost on me, any further than lolling at a big club. Even that is futile though as the big clubs that lose don't really care 99% of the time.

[Jimmy Floyd]

The big clubs are all still in it aren't they? Apart from Liverpool.

The reality is that nowadays people will moan about the FA Cup regardless of what happens in it because the marketing power of the PL trumps everything.

[Max Power]

Ranieri has said we are underdogs today against League One Millwall. Okay.

Surprised Huddersfield - Man City isn't on, could be tasty that one.

[Shindig]

Kinda wish BBC had a Saturday game.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Kevin Gameiro's just scored a hat trick in less than 5 minutes.

[Waffdon]

As cool as you like.

[Giggles]

Who does he play for?

EDIT: Spanish. Never mind.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

'Ave him you bastards.

[Max Power]

This Burnley/Lincoln game is watchably shit. There's a raft of red cards incoming.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Heroes :cool:

5 on the line and still couldn't stop it.

[Max Power]

"IMPERIOUS IMPS" exclaims Peter Drury. What scenes.

Unlucky Burnley. Lincoln are of course market leaders in the Conference tbf

[Max Power]

IMPossible!

Drury on fire.

They deserve it really. Burnley did nothing and could have had Barton or Flanagan sent off.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Why did Burnley rest players?

Dyche should go for that. And for the fact he's a twat.

[Byron]

I'd sack him just for the fact that he sounds like he's gargling gravel every time he speaks.

[Giggles]

Why did Burnley rest players?

Dyche should go for that. And for the fact he's a twat.

Because even they don't care.

[Magic]

:drool:

[Max Power]

Who did they rest? Looked like their usual mob of cloggers.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Who did they rest? Looked like their usual mob of cloggers.

Compared to the team we played last week I can spot 6 changes, maybe 7.

[Ian]

Yeah, they were saving their players for the cup.

(I'm not sure I could actually name a single Burnley player and I'm now trying to think if I've watched even as many as ten MOTDs this season...)

[Giggles]

I know Brady, Hendrick, and Ward. Not sure if any played today.

EDIT: Joey Barton too.

[-james-]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9iejXMQnqmM

Amazing.

[Giggles]

I remember that striker from the game vs Ipswich on an earlier round. Looks like he married his sister in the back of their Ford F150.

[Ian]

Oh, that one who wanted all the gays to die as well. Somebody Gray?

The state of that from Barton.

[Max Power]

Ranieri has got to go fam. He's lost it blud.

[Magic]

So does M9nk.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Conte out too please.

[Giggles]

832698176775868416

[Adamski]

That's great :D

[Kikó]

Sc s b st rds.

Ewood park is a cracking away and I'm a bit gutted that I couldn't get a ticket. How are Blackburn even doing these days? Benny

[Magic]

Berb really is a handsome cunt isn't he.

[Reg]

Lovely second goal. Winks looks a good player.

[Jimmy Floyd]

I still find it weird how they are significantly ahead of all other teams (not just Fulham) when it comes to pressing. Enormous gulf between them and the team which does it the next best, which is probably Liverpool.

Kalas has gone backwards, seems to think he's playing in Serie B.

[Jimmy Floyd]

There's been some proper flat track bullying from Kane today. Probably should have had seven or eight goals.

[Giggles]

There's been some proper flat track bullying from Kane today. Probably should have had seven or eight goals.

I was just about to say that by the week he's proving Yev to be spot on.

[Jimmy Floyd]

This Sessegnon will win 100 caps for England. Definitely where he is because of early physical development, but these days playing full back is 99% about lungs.

[John]

Kane has been pants against anyone decent this season but he tends to biff Arsenal and I'm sure he scored a few against Chelsea when he was first breaking through. I remember him scoring against Liverpool, Man City, and Man United too. He's not a flat track bully.

[Giggles]

This Sessegnon will win 100 caps for England. Definitely where he is because of early physical development, but these days playing full back is 99% about lungs.

Had to wiki him there. Going by 'Ryan' was probably a good shout these days.


.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Ashley Young at right back :drool:

[Offshore Toon]

Emnes donning things.

[Kikó]

Smalling is really wank though.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

God I love Mkhitarayan and Rashford.

[Kikó]

Darmien's sideburns are such a mystery.

[Ian]

Sean Dyche needs banning from football, if not the UK, forever. BBC Lancashire are playing his interview after yesterday's game.

"I'm a big believer in winning games."

Fuck off.

[Kikó]

Matteo Darmien is such a pointless footballer.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Pogba's ball in there was fucking fantastic.

[Ian]

Thank goodness for the Swede.

[Foe]

Gordon Greer is probably slower than mertesacker. Jesus. That was painful to watch.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Romero is such a mess.

[John]

Paul Scholes very obviously wanted to knock Robbie Savage out there.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Well we're out next round.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

That's going to be gutting for Lincoln and Sutton should Sutton win.

[Browning]

No it isn't. It gives both a very realistic chance of getting to Wembley (if Sutton were to win).

[Jimmy Floyd]

That's going to be gutting for Lincoln and Sutton should Sutton win.

Yeah I'm sure they're absolutely crestfallen.

Could be a classic quarter-final, ours. I think we'd go down at OT, but at Stamford Bridge there'll be a bit of needle.

[John]

That's going to be gutting for Lincoln and Sutton should Sutton win.

Nonsense.

[Reg]

Paul Scholes very obviously wanted to knock Robbie Savage out there.
:D What did Savage say?

[John]

They were talking about Man Utd's chances of getting into the top four and winning a cup and Savage offered up 'but they could finish sixth and win nothing'. Scholes looked away, exhaled, forced a smile, then looked straight down the camera with a clenched jaw.

[Reg]

Heheh.

I'm watching Fifteen to One, which seems to be some sort of friendly Weakest Link, in hospital, and I just learnt that the phrase "Back to square one" may have derived from football commentary when they divided the pitch into squares for the radio.

Worth the arm break.

[mugbull]

Are you typing with your erect penis?

[Raoul Duke]

I thought that's what everyone did?

[Kikó]

Like a baby's arm.

[John]

That 'back to square one' thing is one of those apocryphal etymologies that sound plausible but fall apart under scrutiny. What sensible grid system for a football pitch would have square number one as the centre circle?

It occurs to me that 'A questionable amount of Magic' could be the tagline for this entire forum.

[Jimmy Floyd]

It could be the six yard box or wherever the goalkeeper normally has it, i.e. if a move breaks down the ball ultimately ends up there.

[John]

That would mean two square ones, presumably the sort of confusion a grid system for radio commentary would be designed to avoid. The only sensible place to put a 'square one' on a football pitch would be the centre circle, since it's where the game starts and if the other team score it's back to square one for you, which fits the current meaning of the phrase exactly, but there's no system to be designed around that which wouldn't be stupid.

[SvN]

http://www.phrases.org.uk/images/back-to-square-one.gif

Those are the supposed "squares". But phrases.org.uk (http://www.phrases.org.uk/meanings/back-to-square-one.html) suggests the football explanation is bullshit.

[Magic]

Heheh.

I'm watching Fifteen to One, which seems to be some sort of friendly Weakest Link, in hospital, and I just learnt that the phrase "Back to square one" may have derived from football commentary when they divided the pitch into squares for the radio.

Worth the arm break.

Sorry how are you even watching that? Gold? Also how could you not have heard of it? Also what happened to your arm?

Also.

[Giggles]

Challenge sounds like where that one would be.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Toksvig's one on 4...

Edit: Which I doubt is on at 5 in the morning.

[Reg]

Sorry how are you even watching that? Gold? Also how could you not have heard of it? Also what happened to your arm?

Also.
I think it was channel 4. I overpaid for some freeview TV. I don't know, isn't it just some light entertainment for retirees?

I was playing tennis, running for a ball and slipped. Broke my humerus. I think I stood up straight after the break, in shock, and thought (spoilered for the queasy) that I saw my arm dangling, half attached.

Anyway the square one thing - what SvN posted was more what I was thinking. It would work fine once you learnt after a couple matches how to picture where the squares were.

Edit: yes How, Sandi was in the Friendly Anne Robinson role.

[Magic]

Hang on they've brought 15-1 back? FFS.

Also thought that was a pic. Pathetic.

[Jimmy Floyd]

The 1990s edition of Fifteen to One was probably the peak that the visual medium has reached. Those neon scoring lights :drool:

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Hang on they've brought 15-1 back? FFS.

Also thought that was a pic. Pathetic.

Indeed, I'm genuinely disappointed.

[Disco]

William G Stewart and a Greek pot for winning the series. :cool:

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Bullseye was the peak gameshow.

All contestants were perverts with creepy moustaches, Jim Bowen and had the worst prizes known to man.

[Adamski]

The prizes on Bullseye were absolutely incredible you heathen.

[SvN]

The prizes on Bullseye are unfairly slagged off for being shit because of Peter Kay. They were cracking considering it was the 80s.

[SvN]

Talk of Bullseye has got me on Youtube. Just watched this bottle job :D.


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fuJ96LqZslg

Jesus Christ.

[Kikó]

My old uni lecturer played the clip of him on 15-1 (and winning!) a few times before lectures. Not sure why but we were immediately impressed.

[Boydy]

15-1 was great. Just pure quizzing and no fucking around.

Ever watch the Tipping Point shite on ITV? It's awful. There must be about five questions on the whole programme and the rest of it is numpties watching and commentating on that fucking coin machine.

[Disco]

Because 15-1 was balls-out hard, even getting to the end of an episode would be quite impressive.

Edit: Boydy knows, spot on.

[Boydy]

The Chase is good though. I'll give ITV that.

[Foe]

A friend of mine bangs on about the chase and kept applying.

He missed their call and they haven't called back. I'm giving it a week or so before I continually remind him. He's going to break.

[Smiffy]

https://www.beonscreen.com/

Do it. Great advertising for new members.

[SvN]

I quite like The Chase, Pointless too. Tipping Point is fucking crap.

[Magic]

I quite like The Chase, Pointless too. Tipping Point is fucking crap.

Same. What other show do you get questions like:

"In Coronation Street..."

Followed by:

"In Quantum Mechanics..."

[Giggles]

The likes of those tipping point ones are too stupid but 15-1 just strays too far over the boring line.

[Offshore Toon]

https://www.beonscreen.com/

Do it. Great advertising for new members.
I'm gonna apply for Tipping Point since I can't see The Chase.

[Offshore Toon]

I'm gonna apply for Tipping Point since I can't see The Chase.
I assume this is the kind of person they want.

I'm a huge fan of Tipping Point and would love an opportunity to take on the machine! I think my fascination with the machine stems from similar machines that work with 2ps which I used to play with in my youth, so to see them progress from there really shows how far technology has come in such a short space of time. I also think I've cottoned on to a method to beat the machine that other people haven't, but I'll keep that to myself for now!

I'm a very bubbly, out-there person and although my general knowledge isn't great I'd love to test my luck and meet Ben! I think my fascination with Ben started when I saw him on Bo' Selecta and he made an immediate impact and now I see him all over the place, so to see him progress like that really shows how far he's come in such a short space of time.

I look forward to hearing from you!

[Giggles]

Sounds like you'd have Ben hog tied in your boot by the end of the day.

[Offshore Toon]

More interested in THE MACHINE tbh.

[Jimmy Floyd]

I doubt the people they want would spell as well as that.

[Offshore Toon]

That did cross my mind. I think being at university also lowers my chances.

[Raoul Duke]

I posted this on the old board. It's still a beaut: http://bullseyecontestants.tumblr.com

[Raoul Duke]

This Arsenal game is bobbins

[Lewis]

I liked Arsene Wenger turning down the pre-match invitation to lol at the reserve 'keeper sleeping in the ground.

[Giggles]

The internet PC brigade are exploding over Shearer's burger van joke :face:

https://www.sportsjoe.ie/football/alan-shearer-internet-running-safe-spaces-burger-joke/114185

Fuck this fucking world we live in now.

[Magic]

I'd be shitting myself every time asking Tim Vine a question thinking his response will be a smart arse response.

[Raoul Duke]

Why is Wenger bringing on Sanchez with about 20 minutes to go? They've won the game and he's just at risk of getting injured for absolutely nothing :cab:

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

The keeper eating a pie :D

[Raoul Duke]

Top, top slo-mo work from the BBC on it too

[Jimmy Floyd]

Why is Wenger bringing on Sanchez with about 20 minutes to go? They've won the game and he's just at risk of getting injured for absolutely nothing :cab:

He's an old romantic, is Arsene.

Sutton have been good second half. Probably created as many chances.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Top, top slo-mo work from the BBC on it too

Probably had a camera on him all game hoping for something like that.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Fake pie, fake news.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Christ, it is a fake, Sun Bets sponsored pie as well.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Christ, it is a fake, Sun Bets sponsored pie as well.

https://www.thesun.co.uk/sport/football/2904899/wayne-shaw-sutton-goalkeeper-roly-poly-goalie-naked-photoshoot-chilli-sauce/

Shambles.

I wonder how much he put on it.

[Jimmy Floyd]

As a footballer he's not allowed to bet on any football, so I hope for his sake nothing at all.

To be fair, if you're Sutton and Sun Bets/Paddy Power rock up offering presumably six figure sums, it must be almost impossible to turn down unless you're some sort of Guardianista, which literally no one in non league football is.

[Lewis]

I thought they missed a trick not becoming the Paddy Power Stadium for the night, unless there is some rule about having to register things like that in advance.

[Magic]

Remember Alves and the fake banana racism?

[Offshore Toon]

As a footballer he's not allowed to bet on any football, so I hope for his sake nothing at all.
Its even written into my stewarding contract that we're not allowed to bet on football. As if anybody is going to abide by that.

[Ian]

Was it Micky Quinn who had a pie lobbed at him which he promptly picked up and took a bite from?

[Giggles]

Couldn't be anyone else really. Legend.

[Dquincy]

Air steward?

[Lewis]

The wankers are all rolling their eyes at the sponsored pie, as if such a cheap publicity stunt has somehow disgraced a competition sponsored by an Islamic dictatorship.

[Dquincy]

Still a pretty shit thing to do.

[Offshore Toon]

Apparently Sun Bets offered 8/1 earlier for the 'keeper to eat a pie live on air.

[Jimmy Floyd]

The wankers are all rolling their eyes at the sponsored pie, as if such a cheap publicity stunt has somehow disgraced a competition sponsored by an Islamic dictatorship.

You should really try and get this line of argument out into the public domain. Why is everyone so frightened of the truth when it comes to the oil states, when with Russia and its associate dictatorships, or harmless African tinpots, or even Donald Trump apparently, they will all pile in?

[GS]

It'll depend on what's trendy. You can only be outraged by a finite number of things at once, after all.

[Lewis]

When Big Sam got chucked I wrote to Football 365 asking why the same people who expected the England manager to be 'whiter than white' are happy to take money off every shithouse using the sport to buy legitimacy, but they SILENCED (chose not to publish) me. I suppose you could ask where it all ends, and before long find yourself questioning any and all connections with rubbish countries (which is just a reality of any business these days), but you can still lol at City being fawned over for investing in a team of ladies who their owner would lock up for being raped.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

http://www.bbc.co.uk/sport/football/39037401

The Gambling Commission says it is investigating whether there was a breach of betting regulations during Arsenal's FA Cup win over Sutton.

Before Monday's game, a bookmaker offered odds of 8-1 that Sutton reserve goalkeeper Wayne Shaw would eat a pie on camera during the match.

The 46-year-old did so in the 83rd minute while standing by the substitutes' bench.

Shaw said after the match that the incident was "a bit of banter".

Asked whether he knew if anyone had taken up the bet, he told the Daily Mail: "I think there were a few people. Obviously we are not allowed to bet. I think a few mates and a few of the fans."

:harold:

Obviously told loads of his friends to get on it.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Classic non league football to turn a romantic underdog story into a money-related scandal.

[SvN]

I note that RAWK were foaming with vitriol against them because of their association with The Sun.

[Jimmy Floyd]

I don't get it. The Sun is a newspaper. If you don't like it, you don't have to buy it or read it.

I'd be more concerned with the aggressive gambling ad element of the story. Why football bans its participants from gambling and yet is happy to allow clubs or even its own tournaments to take the gambling dollar I have no idea.

[Disco]

I would have thought it was obvious why players would be banned from gambling on football, it's kind of like spitting at the sun but the reasoning is there.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Yeah there are distinct lines of reasoning but it's all the same money-filled moral cesspit. I'd ban any involvement by any gambling firm in any part of the sport at any level.

[Reg]

I won't do a thread for midweek. I'm at home now but my one meant-to-be-good arm is numb from being lay on my side for the op. Two hours copying and pasting seems a bit much.

[Lewis]

My snarky point about cashing-in made the Football365 letters page, but they ballsed the formatting up and I am seething.

[Adamski]

Theres nothing quite as traumatic as an unclosed bracket.

[phonics]

Did you make the pun? I've never been featured so I assume they just take the subject line?

[Lewis]

I did as well.

[Magic]

Did you make the pun? I've never been featured so I assume they just take the subject line?

https://68.media.tumblr.com/08f31a778a064beb485d95df4d65fff0/tumblr_nw4edh890d1r94kvzo1_400.gif

[Davgooner]

Hark at Sanchez coming on and playing like it was the world cup final. Geezer is monumental and he'll do very well at Chelsea.

[John]

Classic non league football to turn a romantic underdog story into a money-related scandal.

They bumped all tickets, including those for season ticket holders, up to thirty five quid too. It's difficult to criticise them for taking what's likely to be the only chance they ever get for a windfall, but they have come off as massive grasping shits.

[phonics]

It does seem odd considering they've said they don't want to be a professional club. It can't be that expensive to run the place can it?

[CJay]

It does seem odd considering they've said they don't want to be a professional club. It can't be that expensive to run the place can it?

http://donegalnews.com/2017/01/challenging-time-ahead-off-pitch-harps/


Next season it will cost in excess of half a million euro to run Finn Harps FC but with gate receipts accounting for less than 30 per cent of total expenditure, the balance needs to be found from somewhere else.
“Between wages, our underage structures and licensing etc it will cost in excess of €500,000 to run the club next season which leaves our budget running at about one fifth that of some of the bigger clubs,” Harps’ Commercial Officer, Aidan Campbell explained.

That's for Finn Harps, a semi-pro team in Donegal, likely to be in a relegation scrap this season. Over the course of a season they'll probably average less than 1k attendance, especially if they go on a bad run where it could dip to the 700 or 800 mark. In this day and age managing a semi-pro club is incredibly difficult.

I don't know how that compares with Sutton, obviously. I'm just throwing it out there as point of reference.

[Jimmy Floyd]

It does seem odd considering they've said they don't want to be a professional club. It can't be that expensive to run the place can it?

My bloody cricket club costs £100,000 to keep going per year and we don't even pay anyone apart from the groundsman, coaches and bar staff. A semi-pro football club probably would cost half a million, maybe more, comfortably. In Sutton's location, probably considerably more.

If they have to lease the stadium (no idea if they have the freehold or not) that alone would eat up a normal season's normal income.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Lol, the pie man has had to resign.

[John Arne]

Putting up the prices for existing season ticket holders is pretty fucking shit. So much for rewarding fans.

[Reg]

Lots of clubs don't include cup games on season tickets. £35 is silly for non league though.

[John]

http://www.independent.co.uk/sport/football/fa-league-cups/sutton-united-goalkeeper-wayne-shaw-eats-pie-bet-stun-morrisons-arsenal-betting-a7591326.html

What the fuck is going on?


Supermarket chain Morrisons has made a bid for Sutton United reserve goalkeeper Wayne Shaw after Monday night’s FA Cup pie-eating antics.

The supermarket is keen to add the 23-stone goalkeeper to their ‘Pie Tasting’ team and has made quite the offer: a year’s worth of pies.

Should Shaw accept, it’s expected the 46-year-old will join Morrisons on a one-year deal, joining the backroom staff as a Pie Taster for the store’s new range.

Morrisons’ Chief Pie Buyer Tessa Callaghan said: “We’re always looking for the best talent to taste our pies and make sure they hit the back of the net.

'Chief Pie Buyer' is straight out of a Sunday Sport article but that appears to be a genuine piece of news.

[Dquincy]

Don't see why people are getting ancy over upping the ticket price to £35. It's not that much money for a match against Arsenal in a one off cup game... and the £££ goes to the non-league club. Chill out.

[phonics]

Actually, Arsenal get half and we were banned by the FA from giving it back to them. lol.

[Dquincy]

Then I'll just shut up.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Didn't they do some creative accounting to give it back anyway?

[Lewis]

When cup matches have split gates in rugby the home side just massively under-reports the attendance. :cool:

[Giggles]

http://donegalnews.com/2017/01/challenging-time-ahead-off-pitch-harps/



That's for Finn Harps, a semi-pro team in Donegal, likely to be in a relegation scrap this season. Over the course of a season they'll probably average less than 1k attendance, especially if they go on a bad run where it could dip to the 700 or 800 mark. In this day and age managing a semi-pro club is incredibly difficult.

I don't know how that compares with Sutton, obviously. I'm just throwing it out there as point of reference.

Speaking of which, Paddy McCourt can't have come cheap for them. Though with the 3 down this season it's worth paying out a bit to stay out of the first division graveyard.

[Adamski]

Probably paying him in pints.

[CJay]

Speaking of which, Paddy McCourt can't have come cheap for them. Though with the 3 down this season it's worth paying out a bit to stay out of the first division graveyard.

True. I'm out of the loop with Harps since moving, but I'd say they've maybe organised extra finance / sponsorship this season to try and stay up in this year's insane league setup.

[Giggles]

True. I'm out of the loop with Harps since moving, but I'd say they've maybe organised extra finance / sponsorship this season to try and stay up in this year's insane league setup.

You'll see a few clubs wager a fair bit of they're in the relegation mix about halfway. I've a feeling we could lose a club when all's said and done (or another club as Athlone are certs to go under in D1).

Harps staying up at the expense of Bohs :drool: