Post-Retirement Shit TV Shows for Football Players

[Spammer]

I'm at work and I'm bored, so let's have a game.

"Deane's Jeans"

Blades legend and all round nice guy Brian Deane takes viewers on an overly long and protracted journey through his wardrobe, looking at the how his style has changed since his early days living in a shoe box in Donny, to living it up in Norway

New thread :cool:

[SvN]

"Roy of the Rovers"

Former Dutch Nott'm Forest striker Bryan Roy investigates what caused the downfall the British car manufacturer, Rover.

[John]

Homes Under the Hammer with Dion Dublin.

'Pepperooney.' A cookery show fronted by 'Wazza'.

[wullie]

Hughes' Women

Janet Street-Porter, Jordan and one of the Nolans have trials at Stoke

[John]

'The Bilic'.

Slaven Bilic investigates cases of petty shoplifting and vandalism.

[SvN]

Kinkladze Boots

Man City legend Georgi Kinkladze follows his dream of staring in the famous Broadway musical.

[wullie]

Ramsey's Hotel Hell

Ep1. Aaron is concerned when Ched Evans books a room

[John]

Crouching Tiger, Hidden Draper

Peter Crouch learns Kung Fu then tries to track down and batter our own Simon, from Malta to Cobham.

Boots.

A one man show in which Paul Ince brings to life the struggle of Paul Ince to overcome prejudice and make it as a manager.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Cash in the Matic

Two contestants have half an hour to retrieve all the notes and coins concealed in the Serbian midfielder's various pockets, flaps and orifices. What they find, they keep.

[Kikó]

Heartbeat

Marc Vivian Foe is transported back to the 1960s to a idyllic town in Yorkshire and lives with the locals as a local bobby.

[Offshore Toon]

Stroke of Luque, 9:00PM Channel 5

Former Newcastle United and Deportivo La Coruna striker Albert Luque tries his hand at noncing as he haunts local playgrounds and school gates in an attempt to understand the mind of a world class paedophile.

[7om]

Hartbeat

Joe Hart sets out to prove to the British public that his hands are not made of jelly as he assists surgeons in performing a triple heart bypass operation.

[Ian]

Doctor Whoolihan

Wes Hoolihan stars as "The Doctor", a time-travelling footballer on his adventures through space and time, trying to find an era in which he'd have been a star player.

[Lewis]

'Imagine a cross between Fun House and The Bill. You've just imagined "It's a Lockout", a new quiz show devised and hosted by Kenny Dalglish.'

[Dark Soldier]

Gomes Under The Hammer.

Half of an hour of Gomes being repeatedly smashed in the face with various tools.

Bargain Kuntz.

Stefan Kuntz visits various red light districts trying to find the best fanny he can for under £20.

[Reg]

Eastenders Special: the return of Pat.

After the producers fail to recruit actress Pam St. Clement for a mysterious back-from-the-dead return to the show, Patrice Evra steps in and plays the spirit of Pat as a small black Frenchman.

[Ian]

Come Fry With Me

A documentary featuring Barry Fry getting hammered on an EasyJet flight to Magaluf.

[igor_balis]

This reminds me of the Facebook group "LET'S TURN 1990's FOOTBALLERS NAMES INTO SHOP NAMES AND DRAW THEM ON PAINT"

This is one of my faves:

https://scontent-lhr3-1.xx.fbcdn.net/v/t1.0-9/10400250_42561359537_9714_n.jpg?oh=b894cb78c86686b f19cfefc477c93a6f&oe=594775FA

[Spikey M]

Kane and Able.

Harry Kane and Gareth Bale reunite in a bid to end Dyslexia.

[Shindig]

Pokeegan 3:15. ITV
Former England manager Kevin Keegan embarks on a poorly animated quest to capture 250 small animals. But the dastardly Team Rioch is out to foil him.

[Weaver]

Alan: Sheep Shearer - Channel 5, 8pm
England legend lends his hand to the local farming community.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Real Life Stories: Zubizarreta, the freezer debtor

The former Spain goalkeeper narrates the harrowing story of how his addiction to Birdseye meals nearly cost him everything.

[Kikó]

Last of the summer wine

Watch retired Manchester united manager Alex Ferguson as he clears the wine cabinet at lunch.

[Spammer]

Not a footballer, but strongly associated with THE MIGHTY BLADES

Sean Bean and his family get together to discuss warmed bread-related products.

Beans on Toast

[Disco]

Dans Pet Rescue.

Stray Romanian animals are collected and routinely abused.

[Smiffy]

:uhoh: It took three visits to this thread to realise it's a bloody game.

Pepperooney? I've never heard of that shit.

[John]

That's Malcolm X front right. A bold direction.

[Shindig]

"SuperHyperTension"

Nicki Papavasilou narrates Adam Curtis' latest documentary.