What even are you?

[leedsrevolution]

Couple of quick fire questions, taking a weak influence from the Religion Thread. No deep thoughts required:

1.) Are you scared of death?

2.) What was your dream ambition, and do you still have a pathway to meet it.

3.) Considering the cards that have been dealt to you in life, have you over achieved or under achieved.

4.) Would you change anything from your past?

[Lewis]

I am the six time, six time, six time, six time, six time, six time Best Poster.

[Lewis]

Now can you dig that? SUCKER!

[Giggles]

Couple of quick fire questions, taking a weak influence from the Religion Thread. No deep thoughts required:

1.) Are you scared of death?

2.) What was your dream ambition, and do you still have a pathway to meet it.

3.) Considering the cards that have been dealt to you in life, have you over achieved or under achieved.

4.) Would you change anything from your past?

1. Yes.
2. To see 60 or so.
3. Under.
4. Yes.

[Giggles]

Where did you specify the seven words?

[Lewis]

Mate. Just... Mate. Get a grip.

[randomlegend]

Couple of quick fire questions, taking a weak influence from the Religion Thread. No deep thoughts required:

1.) Are you scared of death?

2.) What was your dream ambition, and do you still have a pathway to meet it.

3.) Considering the cards that have been dealt to you in life, have you over achieved or under achieved.

4.) Would you change anything from your past?

1) I'd like to say no, but I'm not sure you can answer that unless you're actually faced with it. I'm scared of the thought of dying painfully, but not particularly scared of the thought of actually being dead.

2) I don't know what my dream ambition is, which is probably why I'm miserable. I guess it would be to own my own high end patisserie/chocolate shop but "finish med school and see" is basically the plan right now.

3) Putting aside how arrogant it sounds for a minute, I am lucky enough to be very gifted in a lot of ways and I had the potential to do a lot better at med school than I have. On the other hand I've had a really, really fucking shit time with physical and mental illness and I think I've been pretty strong just to keep going. Maybe par overall, I don't know.

4) I don't think I'd have done medicine.

[Giggles]

Sorry.

To see in or around sixty or so.

8. Suck it.

[randomlegend]

Well I regret doing a proper answer.

[Lewis]

You have. Do you know how hard it will have been for little Randrew to type all that? You bloated state.

[randomlegend]

I literally had to have a lie down. Have to have another one now.

[Lewis]

:console:

[Giggles]

Whatever cunt. Bet I could chin you. :dance:

Quite probably.

[randomlegend]

Whatever cunt. Bet I could chin you. :dance:

Which of your chins would you use?

[John]

Bloated. I'm invincible - I'm the Hindenburg. Invincible. But you're detracting from the thread. Hope you're happy.

There's nothing to detract from because you're such a pissed mess you've fucked what could have been quite an interesting thread right up the nostril before it's even got started.

[Bartholomert]

1.) Not really because I'm still relatively young. I'm more scared about my parents death at this stage.

2.) Aside from being a soccer player...I never really had any dream ambitions. I kinda wanted to be a lawyer because it sounded cool and seemed like the sort of job I would enjoy and excel at...and so far so good.

3.) Probably slight underachieve across the board; as a child I was incredible and my genetics are pretty solid. It's the same story in every category of my life: academically I probably could have done a bit better, my girlfriend could be hotter, my job could be a bit better, I could have been in a better fraternity, I could have maybe walked on to the Duke soccer team (before I became obese). Hopefully after I lose that last 10-15 pounds I'll be where I want to be at least aesthetically / socially. It seems like I always slightly settle below what I could be doing and fall just a touch short of being truly elite choosing instead to be 'comfortable'.

4.) I don't think I will ever get over being too lazy in undergrad to get a higher GPA so that I could have gone to Duke Law. My life would have been so much better, it's incredible unfortunate / unforgivable lack of foresight. Gaining 65 pounds in undergrad was also an absolutely savage move which made me go from being pretty aesthetic to a complete blob. My social / academic / psychological life for the last 1.5 years (after the fraternity social proof shield was removed) has seriously suffered because of my lack of aesthetics + having to constantly diet. Light at the end of the tunnel though.

[John]

You're mum always says them exact words to me.

Good to know even dead she has the sense to see what a sodden catastrophe you are.

[Dark Soldier]

1.) Are you scared of death? Nope. Its gonna happen why be bothered by it.

2.) What was your dream ambition, and do you still have a pathway to meet it. To be published. As in something you can go out and buy. Pathway is there (you've just gotta write and hope its not shit m8) but print is dying on its arse, or so I've heard, fuck knows.

3.) Considering the cards that have been dealt to you in life, have you over achieved or under achieved. Under-achieved due to the majority of my life being a lazy cunt of a dosser. But I was a cripple too, so yeah 65% underachieving mate, probably. Happy with life now so it could be turned round.

4.) Would you change anything from your past? One thing, choosing weed over the woman I first loved. But weed was a solid choice, although my memory is shot to fuck.

[7om]

1.) Are you scared of death?

A little bit, yeah. When I'm bored I sometimes go down the rabbit hole with certain things that I can't wrap my head around; ie space, death etc. I've had to stop myself a few times when I've been daydreaming for a few minutes and realised I've scared myself shit less trying to make sense of it.

2.) What was your dream ambition, and do you still have a pathway to meet it.

I've never really had a lofty ambition or pipe dream. When I was at University it was to be involved in drug development because I'm an organic chemistry nerd and I guess I'm on that kind of pathway, albeit more biology-centric than I would have liked. Now it's all about making as much money as possible and just being comfortable. Pretty boring really.

3.) Considering the cards that have been dealt to you in life, have you over achieved or under achieved.

I think I've been dealt a half decent set of cards. Grew up in a good family environment, went to a good university and got a good degree and have been fortunate enough to have traveled about and been given opportunities. Probably about par. Can't complain, really.

4.) Would you change anything from your past?

I have one massive regret that I still ponder all these years later and it's that I never moved away for university. I lived at home for my first two years before coming to my senses and moving in with three mates for my final year but I can't help but feel bad that I never had a good university experience for two years. Especially after moving into full-time work, I realised those three years at university were the last hurrah of pissing about and taking ridiculous amounts of holiday and I pissed the chance away.

[Spikey M]

Couple of quick fire questions, taking a weak influence from the Religion Thread. No deep thoughts required:

1.) Are you scared of death?

No. I don't want to die, but it's going to happen at some point. I don't spend much time thinking about it.

2.) What was your dream ambition, and do you still have a pathway to meet it.

Archaeologist. No.

3.) Considering the cards that have been dealt to you in life, have you over achieved or under achieved.

Over achieved. I was raised on one of the shitest Council Estates in Essex and went to the worst School in Southend. Everyone I know from there is either a single/absent parent, on drugs, not working. Usually all 3. I have a decent job, a family and I own my own house. It's pretty standard for most, but not for where I'm from

I honestly think this place has a large amount to do with that, too. I don't know who I'd have been without the positive influence you lot were on my youth.

4.) Would you change anything from your past?

Well, yes. I don't believe all that 'it's only a mistake if you don't learn from it' bollocks.


2char

[Magic]

LR dominating this thread.

[Magic]

Good to know even dead she has the sense to see what a sodden catastrophe you are.

Why don't you share this stuff? It's good to see your closeness with your gran. It's good to talk.

[Shindig]

1. Nope. Not unless I really think about it. It's inevitable which is why I don't get suicide as a concept.
2. Ambitions? Not really had many. It's got to a point where being financially safeguarded is the only one I focus on.
3. Hard to answer as a lot of the cards feel like I dealt them myself. In comparison to my folks, I'm doing well. Socially, I'm not the outgoing kid I used to be.
4. Should've either finished my HND in Computing or, when the time came to quit, I shouldn't have sulked around for three years taking dole. And make a move on that lass in the office that was after me before she met her fella.

[Jimmy Floyd]

1. No. I had my mid life crisis at 20.
2. I have zero ambition, which is why...
3. Socio-economically, under. Personally, over.
4. No.

[-james-]

Couple of quick fire questions, taking a weak influence from the Religion Thread. No deep thoughts required:

1.) Are you scared of death?

2.) What was your dream ambition, and do you still have a pathway to meet it.

3.) Considering the cards that have been dealt to you in life, have you over achieved or under achieved.

4.) Would you change anything from your past?

1) Fuckin' terrified. I think about it too much.
2) I don't really think "see lots of live music" counts, but if it does, then that.
3) I had every path available but I was always going to go to uni, even though I've always been average at best at academia (read: lazy). My parents probably think I've underachieved but I'm pretty happy with where I am.
4) I still hate myself a bit for not trying harder on my master's thesis and trying to get a PhD with the group I was doing it under. I liked them and the subject matter a lot so it's a shame, though I would definitely be a lot more miserable than I am now if I had gone down that path.

[Spammer]

What the hell is that title all about?

[Giggles]

What the hell is that title all about?

The ramblings of an alco.

[Pepe]

What a wanker. :D

1) No
2) None
3) Neither
4) No

[Spammer]

1.) Not really. I do think about it sometimes and use to help me focus on what's important. If I was in some kind of near-death situation then I might learn a bit more about whether or not I'm scared of it, but right now I don't think so.

2.) Initially it was being a teacher, and I got there but ended up hating it. Now it's to be a psychotherapist/psychologist. I'm well on my way there - got clients and everything -and I'm loving every minute of it.

3.) I think it's a bit of a daft question. Over-achieved by whose standards? By what criteria? I'm not earning as much as most of my friends but I'm earning enough to live comfortably enough, and enough to buy a house this year. In other ways, I don't know either. If I'd stayed in teacher I'd be pretty loaded and in a secure career, but would also be really depressed. I prefer where I'm at now.

4.) I'd have not given a shit so much at university, I would have binned off my girlfriend as soon as I went to uni (as she binned me off a year later anyway, though I wasn't to know that) and would have let go more. But then, the way I went about it was probably the only way I was able to going about it, based on who I was and what I was like at the time. It's easy to go back and think 'I wish I could do that again', but that shows that you've learned something since, and your 'doing it differently' is based on who you are now, not then. If you've learned something from it, then it happening is a good thing as it helped you learn that lesson. So no, I don't regret anything.

[Offshore Toon]

1.) Are you scared of death?

Nope. My death isn't something that I have to come to terms with.

2.) What was your dream ambition, and do you still have a pathway to meet it.

Never really had any ambitions. When I was really young I thought being an accountant would be good because I was good with numbers. That quickly faded. I've never known what I want to do with my life, career wise, which is probably why I have no focus or determination academically.

3.) Considering the cards that have been dealt to you in life, have you over achieved or under achieved.

I've underachieved in most senses but I'd argue I've overachieved in personality and my general being (which, perhaps obviously, I deem much more important). My parents are proper arseholes. My mum is slowly pulling it back/calming with age, and I thought my dad was too but that/he blew up over Christmas so I'm tempted to just sack him off again. People that think you should show nothing but respect to your family and parents are very lucky that they've never had to question that line of thinking. I've got loads of good mates and would struggle to pick a best man if I ever got married, so yeah, I've done well to not be like my parents and push away anybody that's good to me.

4.) Would you change anything from your past?

Depends. Yes but also no. With things as they are currently I wouldn't change position with anybody. Plenty of decisions I've made have left me with less money and worse grades, but you don't need money to be happy and I don't need a career to give my life purpose.

[John]

Why don't you share this stuff? It's good to see your closeness with your gran. It's good to talk.

She died years ago and it's been mentioned here several times.

[wullie]

1.) Are you scared of death?
Not really. I suspect it's because outside aunties and uncles I'd see twice a year it's not something I've been close enough to for it to be a reality, and it's an inevitability so I have trouble worrying about something I can't control or change. I do sometimes wonder how I'll deal with the death of people around me, but it's not a fear.

2.) What was your dream ambition, and do you still have a pathway to meet it.
Never really had any specific ambition, certainly nothing career-wise. Always planned to have a family and be able to provide for it, so that's all pretty much on course.

3.) Considering the cards that have been dealt to you in life, have you over achieved or under achieved.
Neither really, I'm quite content in my sweet spot. Plus I'm in a position to deal my kids better cards than I was dealt, so quite happy with that.

4.) Would you change anything from your past?
Haven't spoken to the old man in 13 years now, although I don't think there's much I could have changed about it. Other than that just minor things with girls and that, and I definitely never should have started playing the same lottery numbers for my 16th birthday.

[Raoul Duke]

1.) Are you scared of death?
Not really. I had a bit of a health scare a few years ago but came out ok, and so am conscious of the relative fragility of it all. If you overthink it you'll go bananas though.

I've experienced it enough (both parents are dead) to know that life goes on for people around you. It's not like I can change when it comes, outside of not taking holidays to Mosul or whatever. I'm enjoying life though and am in a pretty good place right now.

2.) What was your dream ambition, and do you still have a pathway to meet it.
Never really had anything specific. A decent life and relative stability was my main objective (see next question). However, now I've got into a career groove I'm more ambitious and driven in terms of knowing what I want to do professionally and where I think I can get to.

3.) Considering the cards that have been dealt to you in life, have you over achieved or under achieved.
Massively overachieved - I grew up in a single parent family in an ok town in a nice part of the world, but poor as fuck and a bit of an overall shambolic upbringing. Right now I'm comfortably middle class, professionally satisfied and earning far more than I'd ever thought I'd be on. I'm not sure if it's luck or judgement but I'm fortunate to have wandered into a career in a growth industry which plays to my skills and I find interesting. If I can chuck in a move abroad then it'd be swell.

4.) Would you change anything from your past?
I didn't go to uni until I was in my early twenties but I think I matured late, so I'm not sure if going earlier would have been beneficial. As superficial as it sounds, I wish I had taken more care of my appearance when I was younger and swapped ironic t-shirts and crap jeans for something a bit smarter. There was a girl in uni I definitely should have banged as well but I was a shambles on that front then. I wish I'd travelled more too, but that was primarily a side-effect of being skint all the time. I'm making up for it now.

[Spoonsky]

1.) Are you scared of death?
I used to be much more than I am now. Getting old scares me far more.

2.) What was your dream ambition, and do you still have a pathway to meet it.
I'd like to be a successful artist. Writer, photographer, painter, whatever - I've realized that I feel best when I'm making art of some sort, and I tend to have a knack for most things creative. If I can't be successful I'd at least like to be pretty good at one of these things and do it on a regular basis.

I'd also like to have a family.

3.) Considering the cards that have been dealt to you in life, have you over achieved or under achieved.
At the moment I'm batting par. No clue what the future holds.

4.) Would you change anything from your past?
Yeah.

[Spoonsky]

Another big goal of mine down the line is to find a place that really feels like home to me, and settle down to lay roots there. I've realized lately that I have very little feeling of 'home' as a physical place, and I don't like that. I guess it's how the world is becoming though.

[Giggles]

No the world isn't becoming like that. You can settle if you want to settle.

[niko_cee]

I'm not sure it is possible to have an opinion as to your fear of death unless it is proximate. I can imagine that knowing it is coming, in a very real/immediate as opposed to 'everyone dies' sense, is absolutely terrifying. I think it probably goes against our basest instincts to be sanguine about our own mortality.

[Spoonsky]

No the world isn't becoming like that. You can settle if you want to settle.

People in general are much more mobile than they used to be. I can settle, but I can't guarantee that my kids will stay. I have no connection to Minnesota, where I was born, or Utah, where I grew up, other than that those were the places my parents happened to have jobs. My family is scattered all over the country. It's much harder to 'lay down roots' in the traditional sense because I'm so rootless to begin with.

Probably more true in America than Ireland tbf.

[Lewis]

What would 'lay[ing] down roots' look like? Joining the residents' association? Pretending to like high school football so that the locals don't think you're a dweeb? Who cares?

[Giggles]

People in general are much more mobile than they used to be. I can settle, but I can't guarantee that my kids will stay. I have no connection to Minnesota, where I was born, or Utah, where I grew up, other than that those were the places my parents happened to have jobs. My family is scattered all over the country. It's much harder to 'lay down roots' in the traditional sense because I'm so rootless to begin with.

Probably more true in America than Ireland tbf.

I could have settled anywhere I wanted myself but I chose what I chose. You don't need to be led by what the world thinks you should do, it doesn't make you any better than anyone else to try follow some thinking that you've read in a blog.

[Bartholomert]

Another big goal of mine down the line is to find a place that really feels like home to me, and settle down to lay roots there. I've realized lately that I have very little feeling of 'home' as a physical place, and I don't like that. I guess it's how the world is becoming though.

Globalism / Secular humanism rejects inherent aspects of human nature. I'm glad you are waking up. Roots / identity matter.

[Spoonsky]

What would 'lay[ing] down roots' look like? Joining the residents' association? Pretending to like high school football so that the locals don't think you're a dweeb? Who cares?

Knowing your neighors, being involved in politics at a local level. I used to pity people who live all their lives in the same place, it seemed so insular, but now it seems nice to me. Their world has a center, mine doesn't.

Obviously the grass is always greener though.


I could have settled anywhere I wanted myself but I chose what I chose. You don't need to be led by what the world thinks you should do, it doesn't make you any better than anyone else to try follow some thinking that you've read in a blog.

None of this will stop me from settling down wherever I decide to, but there's nowhere I could settle down that I'd feel a deep connection to beyond just liking it or having friends there. I don't really understand your post but I would like to see this blog you're talking about.

[Shindig]

Spoonsky needs a cult.

[Lewis]

Wouldn't you only feel the 'deep connection' once you've started being a busy little cunt?

[niko_cee]

It is probably more a feature of America, seeing as the place is almost entirely itinerant/transient in the grand sweep of human history.

Then again, it's probably easier to be insular if you come from a (very) small island. Not that I have any particularly deep connection with mine, other than thinking it's a nice place to live.

[Bartholomert]

Knowing your neighors, being involved in politics at a local level. I used to pity people who live all their lives in the same place, it seemed so insular, but now it seems nice to me. Their world has a center, mine doesn't.

Obviously the grass is always greener though.



None of this will stop me from settling down wherever I decide to, but there's nowhere I could settle down that I'd feel a deep connection to beyond just liking it or having friends there. I don't really understand your post but I would like to see this blog you're talking about.

Your ways of thinking about the world are conservative and you don't even realize; you've been indoctrinated by your environment to be liberal but as you get older and more independet minded it will wear off. I give it 10 years before you start voting GOP

[Clunge]

1.) Are you scared of death?

Overwhelmingly no. I'm only scared of dying in horrific, painful, drawn out circumstances.

2.) What was your dream ambition, and do you still have a pathway to meet it.

There are a lot of things I've wanted to do, but nothing that makes everything else pale into insignificance. I've always wanted to be a journalist, and I am - a half decent one. But that's just a career ambition. I guess I just want to enjoy my time; and I am, largely, and have time to continue to do so.

3.) Considering the cards that have been dealt to you in life, have you over achieved or under achieved.

Bang average, I'd say. I came from a stable, financially secure household, born to decent parents (nurse / graphic designer) who are still together. But although I'm an only child, I think it's fair to say I did/don't have the most attentive parents, they both valued their careers which I completely respect. I probably have the best relationship I've ever had with them now, and that's not to say there was any disaffection.

I went to an average primary, ordinary secondary and fairly decent college. I got mainly As in exams, I got a 2:1 at uni and did a postgrad. I started the job I always wanted to do 10 days after I finished at uni. I moved out when I was 18 and became largely independent, totally now I guess. I recently moved to London and I'm loving it. I have a small but solid bunch of very good friends and a fair few others in passing, although I don't think I make the best of efforts to maintain some of those friendships, to my shame.

I'm currently trying to seek a new (related) job in London rather than doing the reverse commute. I feel more confident in my abilities now than I ever have, although I have a tendency (and always have had - my school reports prove it) to do 'just enough' rather than working my balls off. Again, I could improve on that.

Tl;dr - on my current trajectory, I'm not going to set the world alight, but I'm doing alright with what I've been given.

4.) Would you change anything from your past?

I regret not having more confidence in myself, my ability, my persona, my value and place in the life I have led. I think I could have lived a fuller existence, something I am striving to catch up with and address as I enter my late 20s. There's time.

[Spoonsky]

Your ways of thinking about the world are conservative and you don't even realize; you've been indoctrinated by your environment to be liberal but as you get older and more independet minded it will wear off. I give it 10 years before you start voting GOP

I don't know, you can be conservative in some ways and liberal in others. Vermont is probably my ideal place in the world.

[Boydy]

Valuing community over being a mobile unit of economic production seems like a leftist position to me.

[ItalAussie]

1.) Are you scared of death?
When I dwell on it, yes. I wish I wasn't, but fear is not an emotion you can command intellectually.

2.) What was your dream ambition, and do you still have a pathway to meet it.
When I was a kid? A zookeeper or an astronaut. When I grew up a little bit? A world-class scientist. The first two are probably out of reach, but I've made all the right moves for the latter. As long as I keep my head down, I should be able to manage successfully enough.

3.) Considering the cards that have been dealt to you in life, have you over achieved or under achieved.
Hmmmm. Probably achieved about par. I've managed to get into a decent faculty position in a city I love, and those are like gold dust in terms of rarity. If you'd asked me a few years ago about where I am today, I might have said under, because I knew then that I had the talent to get a position at an Ivy or equivalent position. However, I've since learned that the sacrifices you need to make to hold and keep a position like that are not sacrifices I want to make. I've got the talent, but not the desire to work seven-day weeks for thirty years. There's no sense living if you can't enjoy it. Whereas a faculty position in Australia where I can go to the beach before work in the morning, and still work successfully in my chosen field doing a job that I love? That's a winner.

4.) Would you change anything from your past?
I watched my mother die on the side of the road from a car accident when I was 15, which was obviously hard to deal with then and caused pain that will never fully heal. But at the same time, it was an event that shaped me so significantly that if it hadn't happened, I don't know who I'd be right now. So part of me thinks I would undo it in a moment, but another part of me thinks that it would be erasing a huge amount of what I am today. I feel somewhat bad even for framing it this way, but I think you just have to play the hand you're dealt sometimes.

[Spoonsky]

:|

Shit, man. I knew John's history but I'd never heard that.

[ItalAussie]

:|

Shit, man. I knew John's history but I'd never heard that.

Yeah, we were driving home from camping on Easter Monday. Me and my dad were in one car, and my brother and mum were in the other. The light rain brough an oil patch to the surface of the road. I saw the other car go into a skid, and the driver's seat got cleaned up by a milk tanker which couldn't turn out of the way in time. My brother came out with a few broken bones, but my mum was just too badly hurt, and never regained consciousness. It's a pretty nasty thing to witness at any age. Your whole life kind of turns upside down out of nowhere, and it leaves the kind of mental scars that never fully go away.

Every now and then I still get painful flashbacks, although it's hard to tell what will trigger (trigger!) them. For instance, I had a weird moment when I watched Guardians of the Galaxy, and a doctor or someone grabs the kid and picks him up as he tries to run to his mother in one of the opening scenes. That spun me out in a big way, because I had a vivid flashback to a policeman doing exactly the same thing as I tried to run through the barriers to get to my mum. It's a bit weird, because it was such a minor part of the day, but it came out of nowhere and captured my experience so precisely, that it kind of caught me by surprise. Trauma is an odd thing.

[Spammer]

Fucking hell Ital, I'm sorry to hear that.


Another big goal of mine down the line is to find a place that really feels like home to me, and settle down to lay roots there. I've realized lately that I have very little feeling of 'home' as a physical place, and I don't like that. I guess it's how the world is becoming though.

I know what you mean, and I've felt the same. I've lived in the same neighbourhood for the last couple of years. The area has a shit reputation but I have made some good friends with people living in the area and I like the idea of staying here for the foreseeable because of the sense of belonging I have from the friends I've made etc. People of lots of ages and backgrounds. People can scoff at the idea of staying in one place as being parochial, especially considering how easy it is to up and move, but it's nice. I lived in Oxford for three years but I always knew that I'd be pissing off somewhere else eventually and that had an impact on how I dealt with people I met down there - I just didn't engage as much, because I didn't see the point. It's different if you feel you might be living around these people for a long time. There's a sense of consistency and belonging which I think you rightly point out is less of a common thing nowadays.


What would 'lay[ing] down roots' look like? Joining the residents' association? Pretending to like high school football so that the locals don't think you're a dweeb? Who cares?

You're such a fucking bottle job in every possible way :D

[Lewis]

You wot mate?

[Jimmy Floyd]

People moving around too much is why they're all so unhappy. You have to belong somewhere, and you can't belong anywhere if you're always looking for the next 'new experience'.

[Giggles]

That said, I've lived here for 3 years now and I know one neighbour to say hello. Definitely not a community of any description, but that went out of Dublin when the foreigners came.

[Henry]

I'm not really scared of death. Not sure if that's because I see at as so remote. Maybe I will be when I get older.

[Jimmy Floyd]

That said, I've lived here for 3 years now and I know one neighbour to say hello. Definitely not a community of any description, but that went out of Dublin when the foreigners came.

Cities are the worst for it - too big.

[Offshore Toon]

Yeah, my mates living in London is what has put me off it. They have a nice house in Tottenham, but in a pretty shit area. I don't think its particularly important to know any of your neighbours, but to not say hello to any is quite odd. Add in how dirty and busy it is, its just not a place you can settle. Jersey is a great place to live, but there's not enough to keep you entertained whilst you're there. I'll go and settle back there once I decide to calm down. When I lived in Brighton (nearly Hove) everybody around us was friendly and it was a nice area to just go for a walk in. Its a bit different being on campus because 18-year-olds seem to just look at the floor/their phone as default these days, which is a shame.

[Mazuuurk]

1.) Are you scared of death?
Yeah.

2.) What was your dream ambition, and do you still have a pathway to meet it.
I don't have a clear one. I want to be able to say I created a good life and family when I'm 80, and I've taken some steps towards that.

3.) Considering the cards that have been dealt to you in life, have you over achieved or under achieved.
Not under. But I'm sure I could have achieved even more than I have if I would have set my mind to it. Still, I don't think I could complain too much so far.

4.) Would you change anything from your past?
No because I've seen that film "About time" and the idea of not having my son, or my son being a different person than he is, is terrifying to me.
That said I have plenty of situations where I sort of regret how I acted or what I did, obviously. But that's easy to say in hindsight.

[igor_balis]

People moving around too much is why they're all so unhappy. You have to belong somewhere, and you can't belong anywhere if you're always looking for the next 'new experience'.

I see ya point, but I think getting overly comfortable somewhere you know but doesn't really have much for you can be just as bad, speaking from my own personal experiences. Like, I've lived back in Rugby since I left uni 4 years ago, except my brief sojourn to the land of shortbread and smack, and it is really boring and shit, but it's also really easy and safe and I know I can go to the pub and know a few people any night etc etc.

This might just be specifically to do with my own lack of drive and ambition, but my mates who never had any roots laid are all "making it" in exciting, fun places because they didn't have much choice, whereas me and my mates with a comfortable existence in the midlanz are slowly losing our minds.

[Raoul Duke]

It's alright for Jimmy, who lives near London, even when home. If your next nearest "big city" is Scunthorpe or whatever then you'd be bonkers not to yearn for something different and more exciting - plan B is to just sit there and rot.

[Pepe]

There is so much stuff to do!
*Does the exact same thing every week.*

[Boydy]

There is so much stuff to do!
*Does the exact same thing every week.*

Yeah. When I lived in London I just spent most of my free time in the pub. I could have done that anywhere, really, provided my friends were there too.

But moving to/living in London is like a cult. Everyone has to keep convincing themselves that it's worth it and they're happy there.

[Pepe]

Same with New York over here. You must declare how much you LOVE the city every single day, otherwise you simply aren't living life to its fullest extent.

[Shindig]

You can see all of Durham from a postcard.

[Spammer]

But moving to/living in London is like a cult. Everyone has to keep convincing themselves that it's worth it and they're happy there.

:D

That's the impression that I get too from friends I have that live down there.

[ItalAussie]

I do think that everyone needs to settle somewhere they "belong". It's why I moved back to Sydney. But I also think you should never settle in the city you grew up in. You get too comfortable, and the word is bigger than your horizons.

[Giggles]

I do think that everyone needs to settle somewhere they "belong". It's why I moved back to Sydney. But I also think you should never settle in the city you grew up in. You get too comfortable, and the word is bigger than your horizons.

That's fine for you. Some people don't have any interest in the world though and are happy with familiarity.

[niko_cee]

Plus Sydney's a lot nicer than Brisbane.

[Offshore Toon]

I do think that everyone needs to settle somewhere they "belong". It's why I moved back to Sydney. But I also think you should never settle in the city you grew up in. You get too comfortable, and the word is bigger than your horizons.
Never? Bit of a ridiculous statement.

[Boydy]

Living elsewhere a bit then settling where you grew up would be fine.

[Dquincy]

Why don't you share this stuff? It's good to see your closeness with your gran. It's good to talk.

To be fair, I knew about John's mum years ago. Hence why I never go down the 'mum joke' route. I made that mistake in real life once and felt horrible. It wasn't a mum joke, but I still felt bad about what I said.

Anyway, the fact I knew this about John probably makes us very good friends.

[niko_cee]

It was in his sig on the old board.

[Pepe]

Living elsewhere a bit then settling where you grew up would be fine.

That's probably what I am going to do.

[ItalAussie]

I did make it a slightly stronger statement than it needed to be, for hyperbole's sake. :D

I think the best place is somewhere nearby where you grew up, so you don't lose touch with it, but not the same place, so that you have a chance to broaden a little bit. But if you've seen the rest of the world and don't want a bar of it? Fair play, I suppose.

[SvN]

1.) Are you scared of death?
Without a shadow of a doubt. I realise it's futile, but the idea of being minutes from death and knowing it is terrifying to me. I'm less bothered about being hit by a car or something.

2.) What was your dream ambition, and do you still have a pathway to meet it.
It sounds very materialistic, but I want to be a millionaire and retire young(ish). I don't mean have an overall value of over £1million, but to be rich, never have to worry about money and work as much or little as I like. It feels a long way away right now, but I do have a pathway towards it, being a part owner of a reasonably successful business. I'm hoping that over the next 5 years I can transform it the business into something that means I can realise my goal.

3.) Considering the cards that have been dealt to you in life, have you over achieved or under achieved.
Given my upbringing, definitely above bar, but not by a huge amount. My parents were both working class - dad worked in a factory, mum worked in a newsagents - and I was the first in my family to go to university.

4.) Would you change anything from your past?
Too much to list, but at the same time, I like my life right now.

[Spammer]

I did make it a slightly stronger statement than it needed to be, for hyperbole's sake. :D

I think the best place is somewhere nearby where you grew up, so you don't lose touch with it, but not the same place, so that you have a chance to broaden a little bit. But if you've seen the rest of the world and don't want a bar of it? Fair play, I suppose.

Pretty much what I've done. Leeds is basically Sheffield but 40 minutes further up the M1.

[Spoonsky]

Cities are the worst for it - too big.

It is a paradox of life that the more humans there are in a place, the less human it seems.

[Spammer]

You should see if you can stuff like that put on Penguin wrappers.

[Giggles]

It is a paradox of life that the more humans there are in a place, the less human it seems.

Subscribed.

[Jimmy Floyd]

It is a paradox of life that the more humans there are in a place, the less human it seems.

That's the first line of an award winning novel.

[Pepe]

It is a paradox of life that the more humans there are in a place, the less human it seems.

Not sure I totally agree. Mexico City feels way more 'human' than St. Louis, for example, as you actually get to interact with people over there. Here streets all seem to be deserted.

[Pepe]

Then again, the more people there is, the smaller the percentage of them you will care for, of course.

[Spammer]

Sheffield is shit.

You've done me there. My only response is to say that Leeds is shit, but I can't do that. Hmm.

You're fat. There :chief:

[Offshore Toon]

By Ital's logic I should move to Guernsey. That would not broaden my horizon.

Most of my friends are in Jersey and that's pretty much how its always going to be. I still make new friends, but not many. As much as I like meeting new people out and about, when you've got 5+ years of getting to know each other everything is better as far as I'm concerned.

You have to remember that most people are bellends or boring. If you find it easy to find a new group of friends as good as your old one, then you probably fit into one of those categories.

[igor_balis]

https://scontent-lht6-1.xx.fbcdn.net/v/t1.0-9/16265995_10158120329845384_6031828759751348312_n.j pg?oh=8149f65dd2af588a6405f76d6fd7b154&oe=59050357

[Adamski]

That's nice you've made something, pet. Well done. Stick it on the fridge.

[Jimmy Floyd]

On the scared of death theme I had to bump this as was just reading about some local bloke who I played cricket against a few times over the last few years. Late 30s, wife, kids aged 7 and 4. 'Died in his sleep'. Not even a fucking short illness. What the fuck is that about?

It can fuck right off.

[SvN]

He was a secret drug addict and they're keeping it quiet.

[phonics]

I know a few who went out like that. 2 heavy set guys that did a lot of drink and drugs and a diabetic.

[Magic]

Yep same, one was a returning junkie who died peacefully in her sleep (in fact I posted it on here as I went to school with her).

[Disco]

Brain tumour did for a friend of mine in his sleep.

[Offshore Toon]

The worst part about having kids must be the fear of death that develops.

[Disco]

A friend of mine (not the dead one) called it the 'cold knife of terror.'

[Shindig]

I'm stealing that for a novel title.

[Mazuuurk]

The worst part about having kids must be the fear of death that develops.

Yeah that sucks. You get more scared for them than yourself, though, but to some extent both.

It also has seemed to make me much more concerned with the possibility that the world ends up in some sort of annihilation event whether nukes, asteroids, AI rising or extinction of bees or whatever else more or less logical doom we're probably headed for.

Sucks really.

[Offshore Toon]

Yeah, the constant fear of something happening to them must be horrible.

[niko_cee]

I think "constant fear" is going a bit far..

[Offshore Toon]

Are you in Guernsey?

[Lewis]

He'll have already passed on his bald genes, so what could make their lives worse?

[Mazuuurk]

Living in Hull.

[John]

Have you forgotten that nobody in Sweden is ever more than a week away from being raped to death? Hull is paradise.

[niko_cee]

Are you in Guernsey?

I am.

[Mazuuurk]

Have you forgotten that nobody in Sweden is ever more than a week away from being raped to death? Hull is paradise.

Damn yeah I keep forgetting that.

[Offshore Toon]

I am.
Did you move back to start a family? Growing up in Jersey was great, so I reckon I'd try and move back if I was planning on starting a family.

[niko_cee]

Yeah, pretty much. It's the perfect place and being born here gives you the right to live here yourself in the future, sort of, so it was a no brainer.

[Boydy]

Won't you end up with massive bills for your kids to go to uni?

[niko_cee]

Everyone will be paying through the nose by then. Either that or tech will have entirely replaced traditional campus learning, and the associated costs. We still have grants you know. We're currently in the process of completely overhauling the secondary education system (from an 11+/grammar system to a comprehensive system) so uni is a distant worry. Cross that bridge etc.

They can always probably just go and live in England for a few years and then qualify as a UK person and rinse the loan system if necessary.

[Offshore Toon]

Yeah, pretty much. It's the perfect place and being born here gives you the right to live here yourself in the future, sort of, so it was a no brainer.
Wouldn't agree with perfect, but its only a ferry away from perfect, I suppose. But yeah, I agree, Jersey/Guernsey only lack when you're a young adult and wanting to do loads every weekend.

Won't you end up with massive bills for your kids to go to uni?
I think I remember Channel Islands students used to have to pay international fee rates, but they don't anymore. Plus, in Jersey, you get a grant (depending on your parents income) that you don't have to pay back as long as you pass. If your parents earn under £28 or something I think the grant is about £17k a year. The loan system only gives students £1.5k a year, and that's purely to show their 'dedication' to learning. I could really use a bigger loan, but leaving with £4.5k worth of debt will be nice.

[niko_cee]

Well, yeah. I can think of better places to raise a family (Sydney's Northern Beaches) but in the UK the Channel Islands are about as good as you're going to get, even if it's hideously expensive.

[Offshore Toon]

I was alluding to Jersey being the perfect place. Far better than Guernsey, even though I've never been.

If I decide I want kids, I'll stay over here to kick-start my career then get to a good level and sidestep to Jersey for about £20k more a year. From there its just a case of not fucking up and staying friendly with the higher-ups.

[niko_cee]

:D

It's probably better in most regards, from an outsider's perspective at least. Which makes it good to visit. The other way round I'm not sure you'd bother as much. Like you say, you've never been here and I've probably been to Jersey 'recreationally' a dozen or so times over the years.

[Offshore Toon]

I've tried to go to Sark three times, and I think one of those times would have seen me step foot on Guernsey, but the ferry got cancelled every fucking time. Its a bit of a shame that I've never been to another Channel Island. I would quite like to visit Guernsey and check out the restaurants/beaches (is Red Onion any good? I love the name), but a trip to France/UK has always been more appealing. You've got a couple of good little festivals as well, don't you? And they had The Pharcyde played a year or two ago.

[niko_cee]

No, the Red Onion isn't great, sadly. The name is the high point. I'd compare it to that long dark/wooden bar in St Helier (which probably doesn't exist anymore) the name of which escapes me, but want to say Chancellors or something? Chambers?

The bar/restaurant scene doesn't compare too well with Jersey, but there are some decent places. Beaches are better though (:henn0rz:), it's more picturesque and it has the other islands which are ace (although Sark is, sadly, not what it once was).

No idea about festivals as such, but a mate of mine organises the Vale Earth Fair which always seems a good laugh. I really ought to go one year. The Sark Folk Festival is (bizarrely) massive as well, it seems.

[Offshore Toon]

Chambers will be around for a long time. I've never been in a place that plays music as loud as there, and its terrible. Although thinking about it now, I am smiling fondly. There are so many shit places in Jersey that I kind of love because they're laughably crap.

Picture of your best beach now! I'd say Beauport is our best beach. It doesn't have a proper car park or path down so it doesn't get busy either.

https://www.jerseytravel.com/images/hotels/beauport-bay/beauport-bay-01.jpg

I've heard of Vale Earth Fair as being a laugh. The reason I've tried to go to Sark was actually for the sheep racing festival. Is that the same one? How has Sark changed? I quite enjoy watching An Island Parish, just because I can relate to the backwards/inbred-ness of it all.

[Mazuuurk]

I can't get over the name Sark.

It sounds like some sinister place in a fantasy novel.

[Offshore Toon]

It has cheap booze and no cars. I love the idea of being able to explore the whole island in a day.

https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/a/a3/Sark-aerial.jpg/250px-Sark-aerial.jpg

[niko_cee]

Nah, the Sheep Racing thing is different. That's just a piss-up.

The Folk Festival is genuinely big. Tickets sell out for it at Glastonbury-esque rates and accommodation is booked years in advance I believe. I think you basically have to sleep in a hedge if you want to go on a budget. Or have a boat. Or work in the bars for it.

Sar has changed in that there used to be loads of places to go, and loads of people from Guernsey would go on their boats, get pissed, have lunch and go home. Now most of the bars are closed as they were all sold to the Barclay Brothers, most of the restaurants are gone (some like the Sablonerie soldier on bravely - great place) and you're not really allowed to drive your boat in a pissed up state any more.

Is Beauport the one next to St Brelade? They are nice beaches. Our best, I don't know. Cliff beach people swear by Petit Port, Petit Bot and Moulin Huet, Cobo on the west coast is good, Pembroke in the north is good (beautiful expanse of white sand) - but the real winner is probably Shell Beach in Herm. Part of the Bailiwick so we can claim it.

[Offshore Toon]

The Barclay Brothers are proper scum. I'm surprised nobody's gone over pissed up and tried to knock them out.

Yeah, Beauport is just round the corner from St Brelade's. St Brelade's, the 'best beach on the island,' is so overrated and pretty shit. Greve de Lecq is probably the best in terms of having cafes and pubs around, then Plemont, Portlet and Monkey Beach (don't know its real name, but the north side of Mont Orgueil Castle (best castle)) are also up there.

Claiming Herm. :D You Guernseymen have no honour. The sand on Shell Beach looks great, but there aren't any rocks to jump off, plus it looks like you'd have to walk about half a mile to get water at head height.

[niko_cee]

The water is unbelievably cold as well, although it does get reasonably deep quite quickly.. So many people walk in and walk straight back out. It's fun to watch.

I think you have us beat on castles. Is that the one at Gorey?

[Mazuuurk]

This reads like the conversation of two lonely, elderly men who by way of chance happen upon each other in the same country-road Pub on a stormy night and share stories.

[Offshore Toon]

The water is unbelievably cold as well, although it does get reasonably deep quite quickly.. So many people walk in and walk straight back out. It's fun to watch.

I think you have us beat on castles. Is that the one at Gorey?
Yep, that's the one. I met a bloke from Alderney on a night out over here and he confirmed their bunkers are amazing. That's one thing I want to check out.

This reads like the conversation of two lonely, elderly men who by way of chance happen upon each other in the same country-road Pub on a stormy night and share stories.
:D I have been wondering whether this is interesting for anybody else.

[niko_cee]

Channel Island banter.

Smiffy could always chip in with the outsider perspective. Or Dawson.

[Offshore Toon]

Corporate Dawson doing jagerbombs in Chambers on a Thursday night.

[Smiffy]

The Red Onion is where I used to work. I'd choose Guernsey over Jersey any day of the week.

[Offshore Toon]

I think that settles it. Jersey wins.