The EU Politics Thread (Sponsored by Bruhnaldo's incompetence)

[bruhnaldo]

heh.

[Mazuuurk]

Bet she secretly loves a bit of Maghreb meat.

[Giggles]

Another fucking politics thread?

[Lewis]

There appears to be good money to be made if you can spout 'traditional' right-wing views whilst being a bit of a sort (preferably a blonde one), so good luck to her.

[Byron]

Another fucking politics thread?

Good contribution.

[Pepe]

There appears to be good money to be made if you can spout 'traditional' right-wing views whilst being a bit of a sort (preferably a blonde one), so good luck to her.

Worked for 'Milo.'

[-james-]

That's her niece, isn't it?

[Lewis]

Worked for 'Milo.'

I was thinking more of Lauren Southern or Tomi Lahren, since 'Milo' isn't a natural blond.

[Disco]

That's her niece, isn't it?

Only in the last picture.

[bruhnaldo]

You can't edit titles on this website? lol what

[Spikey M]

Only in the last picture.

:henn0rz:

[Giggles]

Good contribution.

Top, top.

[Pepe]

Hamon won.

[GS]

https://pbs.twimg.com/media/C3XvBLGXUAEWvjP.jpg

[niko_cee]

They're going to put a biscuit in charge?

[Jimmy Floyd]

I don't think even the French are stupid enough to put someone as crap as François Fillon in charge, which is probably good news for Macron but he's going to struggle to make the final two.

[bruhnaldo]

That shit isn't funny

[bruhnaldo]

Change the title dickheads

[Byron]

Nah, it's funnier if we leave it as it is, knowing it winds you up.

[phonics]

I was going to change it and then I see bruh crying about it, so as is the rule on TTH, it stays.

[Giggles]

What was wrong with the title in the first place?

[bruhnaldo]

So because I thought it was her daughter and not niece now my name gets to be in the title.

Fuck off.

[Byron]

That meltdown in the opening post :D

Can we archive this please?

[Bernanke]

He really is precious isn't he. :D

[bruhnaldo]

Archive it write it down I don't give a fuck.

I'm nothing but nice to you people and it's a constant herp derp at my expense.

I'm over it.

[phonics]

:D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D

Fuckin' quality.

The best thing is, I didn't even change it originally.

[bruhnaldo]

But you could've easily just fixed it. I made the thread because people bitched and whined there was too much EU politics talk in the US thread. This is the thanks I get for trying to help.

No worries.

[bruhnaldo]

Trust, me having a backbone and calling this shit stupid is the most exciting thing that'll happen on this website this month.

You're welcome.

[Pepe]

'People' was just one person, wasn't it?

[Disco]

What a reaction, it'll certainly discourage anyone from doing anything like this again.

[Magic]

Hi, just making sure this is a thread about Bruh making a total cunt of himself and being a prima donna bitch?

Yep.

[Offshore Toon]

Jesus, Bruh. You've been doing alright recently then you go and spoil it all by acting like an American.

[Giggles]

Settle there Bruh.

[Disco]

And let us know what you think of phonics, sitting on the fence about it is kind of a dick move.

[Giggles]

This thread did turn out to be way better than originally expected. And that's even if you include the set of pins on the blonde that was originally in the opening post.

[Disco]

My pun doesn't work without the pictures there, this must be what oppression feels like.

[Shindig]

What a massive teapot. :D

[Raoul Duke]

That opening post is quite mesmeric, if you scroll past it at a certain speed

[Pepe]

That opening post is quite mesmeric, if you scroll past it at a certain speed

In the phone it takes several scrolls to get through it.

Might be bruh's best post so far. Keep it up mate.

[John]

That's a corking meltdown.

[Spoonsky]

The profile picture is gone.

RIP Bruh. May this meltdown live long in the memory.

[Lewis]

All SEETHE and no lols make bruh a dull boy.
All SEETHE and no lols make bruh a dull boy.
All SEETHE and no lols make bruh a dull boy.
All SEETHE and no lols make bruh a dullboy.
All SEETHE and no lolsmake bruh a dull boy.
All SEETHE and no...

[Disco]

Someone with powers change his avatar to this:

http://i.imgur.com/eDMcefU.jpg

[Boydy]

Poor Bruh. :(

[Pleb]

So this is how the UK left the European Union.

[Bartholomert]

Marine Le Pen is going to win it.

[niko_cee]

The first round maybe, but their double down "are you sure" second run-off system is a fairly effective check against anyone outside of the mainstream actually seizing the Palais.

I see old Guy 'Jurgen Klopp's misshapen brother" Verhofstadt was making slightly more conciliatory noises on the negotiations front the other day. It's almost as if all of that doomsday bluster we've heard since day zero was, well, just that.

Meanwhile:

https://www.theguardian.com/world/2017/feb/02/european-union-trump-ambassador-ted-malloch-parliament


Malloch, a businessman who stridently supported Brexit ahead of the vote in June, is said to have been interviewed for the post by Trump.

When recently asked by the BBC why he was interested in moving to Brussels, Malloch replied: “I had in a previous career a diplomatic post where I helped bring down the Soviet Union. So maybe there’s another union that needs a little taming.”

:D

[Bernanke]

So, the Germans are parodying the_donald:

https://www.reddit.com/r/the_schulz/

I have to admit, the literal translations into KEINE BREMSEN and HOHE ENERGIE made me lol.

MEGA.

[Pepe]

It's looking very likely that she will make it to the second round considering the mess the left (and the right) find themselves in right now. Seems to me like that cunt Macron is well positioned to profit from Fillon's downfall, unless they act quickly and pick another candidate before it all goes south. Guess 'Sarko' might make it after all. :harold:

[Bernanke]

Sarko would be amazing. :D

[Lewis]

'France is bigger than my mistakes' has got to be one of the all-time great defence arguments.

[MartinSAFC]

Hope Le Pen storms it. The meltdowns would be amazing.

[Boydy]

You gone full fash now, Martin?

[MartinSAFC]

You gone full fash now, Martin?

I've come to my senses.

[Pepe]

'France is bigger than my mistakes' has got to be one of the all-time great defence arguments.

Not sure what is worse, that he is still a contender or that someone who hasn't even released a program is the other contender. Sad!

[Jimmy Floyd]

I read an interview with Macron the other day. He's basically Nick Clegg, but French.

[Lewis]

Nick Clegg must envy him.

[Kikó]

Martin has loaned Harold his account.

[MartinSAFC]

Quick! Call moronics and get to the Twatcave!

[Kikó]

Bye Harold.
http://i.imgur.com/MzZDPAy.png

[Pepe]

For fucks sake. :D

[Adamski]

What a slow burner that was. His ingenuity actually has to be commended, eh?

[Lewis]

Martin has loaned Harold his account.

Say he HACKED it.

[John]

It's amazing that even with the account of a longstanding member to play with Harold can't even go under the radar for an hour.

[Boydy]

Called it.

[Offshore Toon]

It's amazing that even with the account of a longstanding member to play with Harold can't even go under the radar for an hour.
Its not like he tried, though.

[Disco]

I love how transparent it was, about three of us immediatly spotted it.

[Jimmy Floyd]

You've got to get in character and stay there. That's what I do with all my aliases anyway.

[Kikó]

Hi Harold.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Stop talking to yourself.

[Giggles]

How did Harold get to sign up with the account? Or did the Martin lad never sign up here?

[Pepe]

They were always the same person.

[Giggles]

Nah. Harold couldn't keep a lid on his tiny brain/big mouth for two posts, let alone hold up that charade.

[GS]

https://pbs.twimg.com/media/C7ZP3VqXkAAOaty.jpg

Imagine being confronted with that choice for the individual to invest executive power in. Shut the country down and start again.

[Shindig]

Marine's the only one happy to be there.

[Magic]

https://pbs.twimg.com/media/C7ZP3VqXkAAOaty.jpg

Imagine being confronted with that choice for the individual to invest executive power in. Shut the country down and start again.

Agreed. The choice is too white to be palatable.

[Pepe]

Melenchon is a don. Not sure about sure about Hamon. The three right wingers are all cunts.

[GS]

Agreed. The choice is too white to be palatable.

The EU stands for equality, freedom, tolerance, and European peace. Did you not get your government leaflet?

[niko_cee]

I was reading a thing on the beeb the other day about Bo Xilai and came across an interesting tidbit about his exchanges with the then EU trade commissioner Lord Mandelson.


“At first Bo was completely unhelpful. No, no, no and no were the answers I got,” says Mandelson.

Then suddenly, when he was at a meeting in Cairo, he got a call to say Bo would see him in Shanghai in 48 hours.

Mandelson hurried to Shanghai - changing planes, struggling to prepare for the meeting, but relieved that Bo was at last prepared to talk.

“He'd lined up 100 officials down one side of a table in the state guest house in Shanghai,” says Mandelson. “I arrived with three men and a dog as my team.”

The negotiations went on for 12 hours, during which Mandelson and his colleagues were given very little to eat or drink. The Chinese team were all being handed large vitamin C tablets, but these were not offered to the Europeans.

Finally an agreement was reached, and a huge press conference was held to announce the result at four o'clock in the morning.

“I think Bo knew exactly what he was going to end up doing,” says Mandelson. “He knew what sort of agreement he would eventually embrace. I was kept completely in the dark until the last moment when finally he did the business.”

I thought the almighty EU was supposed to have the crackest of crack trade negotiators going?

[Jimmy Floyd]

The one in the middle looks like a wine waiter. Isn't that an actual donkey jacket as well?

Macron is a ridiculous twat, Le Pen is some sort of reverse engineered bitch from hell and Fillon is like a collage parody of every bent French politician from the last 50 years. No idea who the bloke on the right is.

[Pepe]

The one in the middle looks like a wine waiter. Isn't that an actual donkey jacket

Man of the people.

[Pepe]

French elections on Sunday.

Melenchon is taking it. :cool:

[Jimmy Floyd]

Mélenchon v Le Pen run off would just sum up France.

[Lewis]

Basically every result except Le Cleggeurs winning is funny.

[Magic]

Ha, remember Bruh?

[Pepe]

He seethe-quited didn't he? What a maggot.

[Giggles]

Never returned though. Legend.

[GS]

There was a great video of Macron going around where he described himself in about eighteen different ways, many of which contradicted each other. He's fucking useless.

What a shit country.

[Pepe]

He's fucking useless.

That might be the first time you are right about anything.

[Lewis]

He was right about the fitness advantage.

[GS]

It remains the only viable explanation for Andrey Arshavin looking half-decent.

We've chucked hat-tricks to shite like Kevin Lisbie in the past, so scoring four at Anfield can be the exception that proves the rule.

[Pepe]

He was right about the fitness advantage.

True. My bad. :D

[Lewis]

855129811144118274

Is that the most small time thing you've ever seen at this level?

[GS]

That's grim.

[Lewis]

He gave him less than a minute, and he doesn't even endorse him. The only thing more tragic (and more damning of everybody involved) is the possibility that they will have been saving it for ages in case they got desperate.

[GS]

Obama even has to clarify at the start who he's actually talking to. "Uhhh... Emmanuel?"

Pepe will love that.

[Pepe]

Saw it earlier. The state of that shit. :D

That cunt is all smoke and mirrors. Complete media creation. He'll get shafted in the primaries by Melenchon and Le Pen I guess, especially after that shooting today.

Funny how absolutely no one bothered with Melenchon until a week ago or so, now he is the most DANGEROUS man around. Even in fucking NPR they're talking about how him and Le Pen are essentially the same. :harold:

[Jimmy Floyd]

Mélenchon appears to me just to be a continuation of the fine tradition of daft French socialists. All power to him.

Invoking Obama is the first sign that these people have no idea what's going on around them. I love the story of when they did it in the UK referendum, the Remain people were pretty much dancing jigs around the office as he spoke, the Leave people are all slumped in their seats thinking it's all over, then Dom Cummings walks in, shouts THIS WILL HAVE NO EFFECT and shuts the door behind him.

[Lewis]

I remember Twitter bouncing because his intervention had 'shot their fox', and then all the immediate polling said otherwise. Looking back at the thread here, I said it was a national embarrassment (true) and said that Daniel Hannan should be doing more of the media stuff than Boris Johnson (apparently not true). Our mate Dominic Cummings said something in his megablog about being wound up by the 'best debaters' looking to get on the telly, which, combined with him not joining everyone else in generally praising Hannan, suggests that he hates him.

[Pepe]

Mélenchon appears to me just to be a continuation of the fine tradition of daft French socialists.

You're thinking of Benny Jamon.

[Jimmy Floyd]

I remember Twitter bouncing because his intervention had 'shot their fox', and then all the immediate polling said otherwise. Looking back at the thread here, I said it was a national embarrassment (true) and said that Daniel Hannan should be doing more of the media stuff than Boris Johnson (apparently not true). Our mate Dominic Cummings said something in his megablog about being wound up by the 'best debaters' looking to get on the telly, which, combined with him not joining everyone else in generally praising Hannan, suggests that he hates him.
I loved the stories of all the wanker Leave MPs clawing at the door like desperate dying cats trying to make sure they were apportioned the appropriate amount of TV fame, regardless of its effect, and the man telling them all to fuck off.

The Banks/Farage operation obviously took that to another level.

[Jimmy Floyd]

http://i.imgur.com/mqVblEl.png

Come on people. I feel like there's an absolute killing to be made here but I'm not sure where.

Enormous lay of Le Pen would be the obvious one but I don't have that kind of moolah.

[GS]

I'd be surprised if it wasn't Macron / Le Pen in the second round, with the former winning.

They've polled consistently as the top two, and the run-off is a foregone conclusion if they go through, so I suppose whatever generates the most based on that outcome.

[Jimmy Floyd]

I feel like because the Anglo-Saxon world has only just entered two fingers to you mode, which the frogs have been perfecting for at least three centuries, they could in their contrary way go the other way and go Macron-Fillon (with the wine waiter sapping too many of the Le Pen fury votes) and I don't know who wins that run off.

[GS]

Macron apparently wins every run-off, and Le Pen loses every run-off. There are two new scandals a week with Fillon, so even if he manages to get through he'd get hammered against everyone except Le Pen. Melenchon is insane.

I've been following the polling, and this is a neat summation of where it is and has been for some time (see below). The only real change has been Melenchon's surge but he's still a bit far behind to actually get into the second round.

855476227620175872

855395099408248832

[Jimmy Floyd]

That's so ridiculously tight though, within MoE even, and there's no way they can map a load of mad frogsters to that degree of precision.

Knowing a bit about polling companies and French people respectively, it also smacks of collusion so that none of them are too far out.

The other option that's come to mind is that Macron will have a Cleggmania style collapse on polling day and it will end up as Le Pen v Fillon.

[GS]

It might well be. Melenchon v Le Pen is the dream scenario from a 'let's all laugh at the French' perspective.

[Shindig]

Fillon's the one shagging his mam ... I mean, ex-teacher, right? Doesn't help that he sort of looks like Prezbo from The Wire.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Fuck it. £50 on Fillon. Don't let me down, Parker.

[Pepe]

Following the polls. :harold:


Fillon's the one shagging his mam ... I mean, ex-teacher, right? Doesn't help that he sort of looks like Prezbo from The Wire.

That's Emmanuel 'friends with Barack' Macron.

[Pepe]

Fuck it. £50 on Fillon. Don't let me down, Parker.

A few days ago I would have said no but that shooting might have helped him with the moronic, paranoid right-wingers.

[Pepe]

It might well be. Melenchon v Le Pen is the dream scenario from a 'let's all laugh at the French' perspective.

Agreed, lol at even considering something different. #neoliberal4life

[Jimmy Floyd]

Fillon's going to do it you know. He busted the polls vs Juppé in the primary and he's going to do it again.

As if the French will care about rampant corruption.

[Spikey M]

That shooting might have helped bolster Le Pen's numbers. The French love a knee jerk reaction.

[Pepe]

Fillon's going to do it you know. He busted the polls vs Juppé in the primary and he's going to do it again.

As if the French will care about rampant corruption.

It is quite possible.

Fwiw, Hamon also won his primary 'against all odds' yet everyone seems to have decided to forget he exists. A bit odd.


That shooting might have helped bolster Le Pen's numbers. The French love a knee jerk reaction.

Fillon is definitely banking on that propping him back up.

[GS]

Hamon has the quite ludicrous Hollande floating around in the background. Four percent approval rating, for fuck sake. There's not much you can do when the incumbent from your party is so obviously useless.

You'd assume that the shooting pushes the Le Pen vote. There's something like one third of voters who are undecided at the minute, so you'd expect it would probably push them into the right wing camp. The one thing you can say about Le Pen is that you know what you're going to get, and she's been going big on law and order for weeks.

[Pepe]

Hamon has the quite ludicrous Hollande floating around in the background. Four percent approval rating, for fuck sake. There's not much you can do when the incumbent from your party is so obviously useless.

All of Hollande's crew in the party abandoned Hamon early on though and even recently Hollande hinted at being pro-Macron, just as Valls before him. They were calling him Emmanuel Hollande for a reason.

[Pepe]

The one thing you can say about Le Pen is that you know what you're going to get, and she's been going big on law and order for weeks.

If the few places where the FN have governed are anything to go by, what you will get is absolute incompetence.

[GS]

I mean in terms of rhetoric. There's little obfuscation. Unlike Macron who described himself in about eighteen different ways.

[ItalAussie]

If you were voting in this election, GS, which way would your vote go?

[GS]

If you were voting in this election, GS, which way would your vote go?

Of the four potential winners, Fillon. He's French, so suspect personal ethics goes with the territory. If he didn't make the run-off, I'd vote Macron. He's an empty shirt, but at least he's not wilfully offensive.

I'm not sure I could bring myself to vote for either Melenchon or Le Pen, if they both made the second round.

[Boydy]

If you had to choose between Melenchon and Le Pen, who would you choose?

[Lewis]

I would vote for Marine Le Pen from a distance, but actual French me would probably be sitting in a cushy state sector job doing nothing all day, so I would vote for the most communist.

[GS]

856195933431791617

[Spikey M]

Interesting that the French Lewis has a job. :baz:

[Magic]

Le Pen. :drool:

Time for them to reclaim the ghettos.

[GS]

Macron and Le Pen through to the second round, based on initial results.

The question will be how much of the vote Le Pen can get in the second round.

[Byron]

You'd imagine the 'Anyone but Le Pen' vote would see Macron through but we thought the same about Trump so yeah.

[GS]

There's a constant "anyone but them" strand of thought in France about the FN, so there's no way that Macron isn't winning heavily.

[Byron]

Just seen that Le Pen wants the working age capped at 60 and a fixed 35 hour working week.

That's probably a bit too communist even for me.

[Spikey M]

I'm no communist but anyone getting the elderly out of my general surroundings gets my vote.

[Lewis]

There must also be a sizeable 'anyone but them' constituency where the 'them' is closeted homosexuals whose strongest suit is their own pointlessness.

[Boydy]

I'm no communist but anyone getting the elderly out of my general surroundings gets my vote.

:D

[Lewis]

The SEETHE that the communist has provoked by refusing (or rather simply failing) to fall into line and oppose Le Pen is pretty lol. What is he playing at with his convictions just wow I can't even.

[Pepe]

I am seething.

[Bartholomert]

The media calling Macron a 'centrist' is infuriating.

Le Pen will lose, but hopefully will hammer Macron on the tenants of globalism he represents and sow the seeds for future change.

[John]

Who are the tenants of globalism?

[Disco]

The Labatts of Modern Colonialism.

[GS]

The Daily Mail with a throwback to its 1930s heyday tomorrow.

[Lewis]

It seems like a pretty balanced take on the 'established' parties getting nowhere, so lol at Owen Jones (1151 days since he last wrote about Venezuela) shitting himself.

[Pepe]

Now to wait for Francois Ruffin to win his election.

[Shindig]

Landlords of Globalism is my next Death Metal band. I find it amazing Mert shits himself at such a prospect when he's a Turk who pretends to be white and American because his parents bullied him into it. Whilst he studies law at Duke. Having already lived in at least two different countries on two different continents. He'll probably get some bullshit job handed to him and work the ladder at the expense of someone better.

We need to sort that system out that you're benefiting heavily from, mate. Cuck.

[Pepe]

The media calling Macron a 'centrist' is infuriating.

Agreed, they should call him the right wing twat he is.


The SEETHE that the communist has provoked by refusing (or rather simply failing) to fall into line and oppose Le Pen is pretty lol. What is he playing at with his convictions just wow I can't even.

I hope he refuses to call for Macrunt. He said he'll leave it up to his militants so we'll see.

At this point I would prefer LePen to win. Time for people to get the EXTREME RIGHT government they've been wanting for a while, everyone sees how shit they are, and we can move on. Otherwise we will all be stuck in the endless voting out of FEAR cycle that we are currently in and the usual wankers will keep reaping the benefits.

[Magic]

The SEETHE when Le Pen makes France great again. :drool:

[Pepe]

At least the French know how to throw a good riot.

[phonics]

856221324158676994

Quality :D

Le Pen won in this Mayors town, local journalist asks him how he feels about it says, 'I might quit because I can't be bothered dedicating my life to helping arseholes'

[Jimmy Floyd]

If I were him I'd resign in shame at having that beard.

[phonics]

He's from rural France Jim. It's positively chic to look like you just fell out of a bush there.

[Magic]

Le Pen just stepped down.

What.

[Boydy]

As leader of the FN. I thought you meant from the presidential race.

[Magic]

As leader of the FN. I thought you meant from the presidential race.

So I might be missing something. This isn't like Corbz stepping down?

[Shindig]

Ditching the FN moniker to make her candidacy appear more partisan.

[Magic]

What? So she doesn't have to be affiliated with any party? I'm so confused.

[GS]

She's temporarily stepping aside to try and remove some of the stigma of voting for the FN. If you vote for "Marine" (she's dropped "Le Pen" insofar as she can), then you're voting for her programme rather than for what the FN has historically stood for. If she loses, she'll go back to being party leader.

Is my reading of it, anyway. I doubt it'll work, but then Macron is truly shit.

[Boydy]

Why do you hate Macron so much?

[phonics]

He's literally George Osborne.

[GS]

852550209368403970

He's just an empty suit, who appears to have no principles whatsoever. The fucking state of that.

[Lewis]

He's literally George Osborne.

His boyfriend Janan Ganesh was fawning over Macron in the Financial Times earlier, thereby confirming his status (if it needed any further confirmation) as the most nothing politician around.

[Boydy]

He's just an empty suit, who appears to have no principles whatsoever. The fucking state of that.

I don't speak French.

But 'empty suit' could apply to any of the other politicians you seem to like.

[GS]

Calling Pepe to the front line.

[Boydy]

Yeah but Pepe and your views are quite different.

[GS]

This is a rare occasion of agreement.

[Lewis]

Pepe's view is a big, beautiful wall with 'TRUMP' on it.

[Offshore Toon]

Have people always cared about French politics?

[Smiffy]

I can't make sense of it all.

[Lewis]

Have people always cared about French politics?

The last time was when old man Le Pen got through, so put it down to another round of wanting to be seen caring about something.

[GS]

To be fair, there was a decent amount of coverage in 2012 because Sarkozy was potentially going to lose. The bewildered look on Hollande's face when he realised he'd won was probably as good an indication as any that he was going to be dreadful.

Apparently there was some talk in 2012 that Merkel might go and campaign for Sarkozy in France - that was until they realised that a powerful German leader breaching the Maginot Line and telling them who should be in charge might not be particularly sensible.

[Pepe]

Pepe's view is a big, beautiful wall with 'TRUMP' on it.


Have people always cared about French politics?

I care because I'll most likely move there. Because of the above.

[Pepe]

Why do you hate Macron so much?

http://www.counterpunch.org/2017/03/31/big-stakes-in-the-french-presidential-election-governance-versus-the-people/


Born in Amiens only 39 years ago, Emmanuel Macron has spent a lot of his life in school. Like most of France’s leaders, he was educated in some of the best, but not the best, of France’s elite schools (for connoisseurs, he failed entrance to ENS but did Sciences Po and ENA). U.S. media seem impressed by the fact that along the way he studied philosophy, which is no big deal in France.

In 2004 he passed the competitive exam to be admitted to the Inspection Générale des Finances, one of the corps of experts that have distinguished the French system madtomadnesssince Napoleon. IGF inspectors have lifetime security and are assigned as economic advisors to government officials or private entities. In the IGF he gained the attention of the particularly well-connected senior official Jean-Pierre Jouyet, who recommended him to Jacques Attali, the most spectacular of the intellectual gurus who for the past 35 years has regaled French governments with his futuristic visions (Jerusalem as capital of a future world government, for example). In 2007, Attali co-opted Macron into his super-elite “Commission for the Liberation of Growth”, authorized to provide guidance to the Presidency. A star was born – a star of the business world.

The Attali commission prepared a list of 316 proposals explicitly designed to “install a new governance in service of growth”. In this context, “growth” naturally means growth of profits, by way of measures cutting back the cost of labor, tearing down barriers to movement of capital, deregulation. The 40 elite members planning the future of France included heads of Deutsche Bank and the Swiss firm Nestle. They also provided the young Macron with a valuable address book of useful contacts.

In 2008, on recommendation from Attali, Macron was taken into the Rothschild Bank at a high level. By negotiating a Nestle purchase worth nine billion dollars, Macron became a millionaire, thanks to his commission.

To what did he owe a successful rise that two centuries ago would have been a subject for a Balzac novel? He was “impressive”, recalls Attali. He got along with everyone and “didn’t antagonize anyone”.

Alain Minc, another star expert on everything, once put it this way: Macron is smart, but above all, he makes a good banker because he is “charming” – a necessary quality for “a whore’s profession” (“un métier de pute”).

Macron is famous for such words of wisdom as:

“What France needs is more young people who want to become billionaires.”

Or:

“Who cares about programs? What counts is vision.”

So Macron has launched his career on the basis of his charm and “vision” – he certainly has a clear vision of the way to the top.

[...]

Thanks to Jouyet, in 2007 Macron was co-opted into a club called Les Gracques (after the Roman Gracchus brothers), devoted to “values” based on recognition that the Keynesian welfare State doesn’t fit globalization and European Union development.

In 2011, Macron was co-opted into the Club de la Rotonde, which undertook to advise President Hollande to hit France with a “competitiveness shock” – favoring investment by lowering public expenses and labor costs.

In 2012, Macron was welcomed into the French-American Foundation, known for selecting the “young leaders” of the future.

In 2014, Macron made it to the really big time. On May 31 and June 1 of that year he attended the annual Bilderberg meeting, held in Copenhagen. This super-secret gathering of “governance” designers was formed in 1954 by Prince Bernhard of the Netherlands. No journalists are allowed into the Bilderberg gathering, but leading press barons are there to agree on the consensus that must be spun to the masses.

With all these credentials, Macron went from being an economic advisor to François Hollande to Minister of Economy, Finance and Digital Industry, under Prime Minister Manuel Valls, where he vigorously promoted the Attali agency on pretext of promoting “growth”. Among other things, he reversed the position of his predecessor by approving the sale of the crown jewel of French industry, the Alstom energy sector responsible for France’s nuclear power industry, to General Electric.

As Minister, Macron was responsible for the most unpopular measures of the entire unpopular Hollande presidency. His so-called “Macron Law”, featuring massive deregulation, conformed to European Union directives but was unable to win a majority in parliament, and had to be adopted by resorting to Article 49.3 in the Constitution, which allows the Prime Minister to adopt a law without a vote.

His next accomplishment was more veiled. He designed the “reform” (partial dismantling) of French labor law, presented to the public as the El Khomri Law, named after the young labor minister, Moroccan-born Myriam El Khomri. Mme El Khomri had virtually nothing to do with “her” law, except to put a pretty face and an “ethnic diversity” name on wildly unpopular legislation which sent protesting workers into the streets for weeks, split the Socialist Party and obliged Prime Minister Valls to resort once again to Article 49.3 to pass it into law.

Here the story becomes almost comical. Macron’s slash and burn dash through the Hollande/Valls government virtually destroyed the French Socialist Party, leaving it divided and demoralized. This opened the way for Macron to emerge as the heroic champion of “the future”, “neither left nor right”, “the France of winners” in his new party, En Marche (which can mean “it’s up and running”).

At present, Macron has risen to the top of the polls, neck and neck with the front runner, Marine Le Pen, for the April 23 first round, and thus the favorite to challenge her in the decisive May 7 second round. Being “charming” assured Macron a successful career as a banker, and the sycophantic mass media are doing their best to assure him the Presidency, mainly on the basis of his youthful charm.

[Lewis]

I liked his big man talk on Europe earlier.

'Bonjour my Briteesh churms...'

[Offshore Toon]

https://i.ytimg.com/vi/z49jv7DnEGU/hqdefault.jpg

[Raoul Duke]

So, a business-centric guy, or...a Nazi? Still seems a pretty straightforward choice to me.

[Pepe]

Agreed, null vote is the only option.

[Reg]

Why France out of interest, Pepe?

[Pepe]

French girlfriend.

[Offshore Toon]

Where in France? Might as well move to Jersey tbh.

[Pepe]

Rennes, so close enough. ;)

We wouldn't necessarily move there. Maybe initially until we find jobs and whatnot.

[Offshore Toon]

That is close. :drool: TTH meet at Mont Saint Michel.

[Pepe]

Luca can buy overpriced omelettes for all. :drool:

[Offshore Toon]

Luca and omelettes. :drool:

[niko_cee]

That is close. :drool: TTH meet at Mont Saint Michel.

Rue Saint-Michel, surely?

[Offshore Toon]

I was going for meeting around half way. We could always do a day trip to St. Malo but there's not much to do since they stopped selling bangers.

[Pepe]

You can get some quality galette in St. Malo.

[Magic]

Some guy on 4chan has managed to get proof of Macron evading tax. It's all over the news in France apparently. :drool:

[phonics]

Wasn't that several days ago and it turned out to be some white nationalist forgeries made in California 2 days before the debate?

[Spikey M]

Yeah, it was bullshit.

Well, it probably isn't bullshit, they're all at it, but this version of the claim is.

[Magic]

:happycry:

[Pepe]

There is definitely something dodgy about his economics.

[Jimmy Floyd]

He's just a really shit (and I mean really shit) Tony Blair. I was going to ask how the French have somehow been duped by him, but then that sentence kind of answers its own question.

[Pepe]

He had the whole power of THE MEDIA behind him. Seriously, he was 'leading the polls' before he had even announced he was running. You won't find a single negative thing said about him on any mainstream news outlet (starting to sound like mert here.) That Fillon was found out and that the Socialists decided to turn their backs on themselves hepled, of course.

[Bernanke]

The EU breaking apart and the Nordics + Germany forming a new union without all of the southern garbage. :drool:

[Pepe]

The EU is not breaking apart with Macron in charge, unfortunately.

[Lewis]

He's just a really shit (and I mean really shit) Tony Blair. I was going to ask how the French have somehow been duped by him, but then that sentence kind of answers its own question.

I watched the documentary George Galloway made about him. Tony Blair is rubbish, and here is 'Professor Will Self' to agree why.

[Jimmy Floyd]

For lunch today I bought some bits of cheddar cheese wrapped in chorizo from M&S, for three quid. I saw the purchase as symbolising the end of the Blair Era and symbolic reunification of British culture.

[Shindig]

I'm still trying to find a Greggs that sells those hot steak and cheese baguettes. I need to know.

[Pepe]

860111061340610561

Go fuck yourself.

Foreigners getting involved. :sick:

[Offshore Toon]

Let's see if Obama can make it three out of three (Brexit, Trump, Le Pen).

[Jimmy Floyd]

Looking back, Obama on Brexit is up there with the funniest blunders ever committed.

https://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2016/apr/22/barack-obama-crush-brexit-fantasy-eu-referendum

:harold:

[Pepe]

The state of that article.

[Lewis]

Matey has been HACKED, so [presumed] foreign interference is bad again.

[Shindig]

"Yo, some of this leaked report be bullshit ... so ignore all of it."

Fake news. I hate 2017.

[ItalAussie]

It's Macron.

And breathe out.

[Raoul Duke]

So, only like 1/3 French people are shiteating racists? Huzzah

[niko_cee]

No, only 1/3rd of them support the national front, they're all shiteating racists.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Remain Twitter is now convincing itself that Macron winning is a BLOW for Britain and leaves us ISOLATED, as if leaving the EU is some kind of far right fascist move.

[niko_cee]

How is Mr Biscuit going to get anything done without any MPs or an actual political party? He's even more of a lone crank than Trump, who at least has a party sort of behind him.

[Magic]

Trump's tweet RE Macron is really quite brilliant if you read it and imagine him doing his 'lol ok then' faces.

[Pepe]

How is Mr Biscuit going to get anything done without any MPs or an actual political party? He's even more of a lone crank than Trump, who at least has a party sort of behind him.

All of the Socialist Party was parading around with him. They basically re-relected Hollande.

[Lewis]

I think when it comes down to it, two thirds of France just wasn't ready for a woman leader. #shepersisted #stillwithher

[Pepe]

You can't be right wing and woman at the same time.

[Pepe]

Also, this warms the heart:


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-AHhc7DTIsg

:****)

#teamenginers.

[Lewis]

He's so blatantly gay.

[Offshore Toon]

He sounds like Amigo doing a French accent.

[Bernanke]

I think the actual French pronunciation of engineers is closer to English than whatever that was.

[Shindig]

I mean, it'll inspire Magic to dissolve the marriage and plug phones in abroad but the way he says delivers almost sounds like a complete system crash. That's why he's begging for them.

[Bernanke]

Complete sweep for Macron yesterday. Gonna be interesting to see what he'll actually do to the country.

Front National with like 1-5 seats. :lol:

[Pepe]

He will get an overwhelming majority.

It even looks like Ruffin will lose his election. :(

The French. :face:

[phonics]

Calling Trump a twat seems to be a viable election strategy at this point.

[Lewis]

He only got about a third of the actual vote, the loser.

[Pepe]

And abstention yesterday was about 50%.

Considering he didn't have a party five minutes ago, everyone running for him is nothing but a massive chancer jumping on the bandwagon just so they can get some scraps of power. Ideals, beliefs, all that crap can fuck right off.

[Lewis]

There is something really lol about all of it, and people seem to be missing the point. Everyone is falling over themselves to declare it all a massive success, but why was it deemed necessary in the first place?

[Jimmy Floyd]

And what even is it?

[phonics]

100% pure, triple distilled neoliberalism.

[bruhnaldo]

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oooooh this was precious wasn't it


Sorry Phonics.

[John]

Incompetent too. He didn't even do it.

[bruhnaldo]

Never was the brightest, me.

[phonics]

No problem. The meltdown was funnier than the original joke.

[Pepe]

100% pure, triple distilled neoliberalism.

Oui.

[GS]

When you stand for nothing, it's quite easy to convince people you're on their side because they can't find any reason you're against them.

He'll be found out.

[phonics]

Much like the modern Conservative party were/are.

[Jimmy Floyd]

That's probably a better charge against them than anything else you've come up with in the last six months.

[GS]

Much like the modern Conservative party were/are.

The Tory party stood for fleecing the elderly and allowing foxes to be ripped to death by dogs, so you're wrong there.

[Pepe]

When you stand for nothing, it's quite easy to convince people you're on their side because they can't find any reason you're against them.

Exactly. Lets not forget that he was leading THE POLLS way before he even bothered releasing a program. So people were willing to vote for him even before he even said what he was running on. Can't think of anything more tragic.


He'll be found out.

I sure hope so, although it is hard to tell who will be there to pick up after. Both the so called Socialists and the Republicans jumped ship and are rimming him hard. Melenchon is the one who probably stands to gain the most, but he was pounded pretty hard by the media after the election. Their showing yesterday was sad. Then there is Le Pen.

[niko_cee]

It's France. It'll be some complete twat up against a Le Pen, and they'll all have to hold their nose and rally around the twat. Plus ca change etc.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Macron is in Tony Blair 1997 position. He starts liked by everyone, and will end, in 20 years, hated by everyone.

[phonics]

That's probably a better charge against them than anything else you've come up with in the last six months.
I believe in arguing the policies as well as the people so I can understand how my arguments against could have come across as equally vapid.

[Pepe]

Macron is in Tony Blair 1997 position. He starts liked by everyone, and will end, in 20 years, hated by everyone.

I hope it doesn't take that long.

[phonics]

France won't start a war to give him international relevancy (not including actions under the NATO banner) so they ultimately won't matter. The banlieu will set a few cars on fire, the farmers will tell him to fuck off and everyone will forget he held back the proper racist part that France manages keep bubbling under. Just like literally every other President.

[Pepe]

François Ruffin won his election. :cool:

[GS]

880374825784619008
Pepe

[niko_cee]

I see the dear leader of the commission had a bit of a toys/pram moment today.


Mr Juncker complained that if Germany's Chancellor Angela Merkel or French President Emmanuel Macron had been in the chamber, it would have been full.

:violin:

[Disco]

If he wasn't such a pointless dickhead he might have a proper job.

[GS]

Euroscepticism etc. etc. aside, the whole thing is such a dysfunctional mess.

[Haystacks Horace]

Was Juncker that bald striker who played against England when we won 5-1?

[Pepe]

Americans in not understanding anything shocker.

https://www.facebook.com/NPR/videos/10155976800091756/

[Pepe]

Macrotte has been in fine form lately.

[GS]

Record lows in his approval ratings. It's almost as if having no discernible skills beyond not being Marine Le Pen and insufferable smugness isn't sufficient grounding for the presidency.

[mugbull]

I think it's mainly the French people suck.

[Lewis]

https://s26.postimg.org/3jt2902nd/DKg_GZqw_Wk_AAo4rn.jpg

lmao

[Shindig]

Merkelmania. And some sort of Nationalist mania. Women leaders aren't a novelty like they used to be.

Weidel's a far-right lesbian mother? Alright, she's a box-ticking charlatan. Fuck these snowflake bastards.