Formula 1 2017: sponsored by Chase Carey's tache

[Jimmy Floyd]

https://rts.org.uk/sites/default/d6/TV51-7-Carey_1.jpg

Rosberg has finished, which is a relief for those of us who dislike whiney Germans, but there's still plenty of action to be found in that department with Vettel leading Ferrari's latest doomed charge towards the first two rows. Red Bull are unchanged with Danny Ric and Mad Max in situ, whilst eternal champs Mercedes welcome Valtteri Bottas to join Hamilton. Midfield gonna midfield, and we have yet to find out if Manor will make it to Australia. Felipe Massa, and presumably his dad, are back from the dead.

Mercedes
Lewis Hamilton
Valtteri Bottas

Red Bull
Daniel Ricciardo
Max Verstappen

Ferrari
Sebastian Vettel
Kimi Raikkonen

Force India
Sergio Pérez
Esteban Ocon

Williams
Lance Stroll
Felipe Massa

Toro Rosso
Dani Kvyat
Carlos Sainz, Jr

Renault
Nico 'are you happy in your current job?' Hulkenberg
Jolyon Palmer

Haas
Romain Grosjean
Kevin Magnussen

Sauber
Marcus Ericsson
Pascal Wehrlein

Manor (if they make it)
Nigel Mansell
Pedro Diniz

[phonics]

Turn that photo black & white and add some chicken scratch to it and you can imagine him turning up in the history books as Robert E Lee's right hand man.

[bruhnaldo]

Please God let McLaren make a huge leap this year.

[bruhnaldo]

2017 F1 Launch Dates

Mercedes - 2/23
Red Bull - N/A
Ferrari - 2/24
Force India - 2/22
Williams - N/A
McLaren - 2/24
Toro Rosso - N/A
Haas - N/A
Renault - 2/21
Sauber - N/A

[Jimmy Floyd]

I actually left McLaren off the OP, that's how memorable their efforts were last year.

McLaren
Fernando Alonso
Stoffel Vandoorne

[Disco]

I'm going for 6 in the pre launch 'how many cars will be predominantly grey' sweepstake. And Sauber for the bonus ball.

[Byron]

Formula 1 is about to be under new ownership by US group Liberty Media - and it could lead to profound changes in the sport.

The new chairman Chase Carey (great 'tache) has spent some time getting to know his new venture and the problems the sport currently faces...

His findings were:
• The revenue system is skewed in favour of the already rich and powerful, to the extent that the smallest teams are struggling to survive and money is tight for about half the grid
• There is a lack of competition on track
• Television audience figures are dropping in many markets - although this is largely because of a switch to pay television, to make more money from TV rights deals
• The longest-standing races are struggling to fund themselves and risk dropping off the calendar
• The decision-making process is not working properly
• Some significant business and sporting decisions have been made for solely financial reasons, disregarding other important factors, such as their effects on the sporting side
• An acceptance that F1 has lost some of its appeal, particularly a sense of edge and drama and as an extreme driver challenge.

In other news, the sky is blue, the world is round and the Pope may or may not be Catholic.

[phonics]

TBF to them, Marco Van Basten had five years and came up with 'The Offside Rule Is Bad'

[Giggles]

TBF to them, Marco Van Basten had five years and came up with 'The Offside Rule Is Bad'

Made worse by the fact he's talking out of his arse on that one.

[Jimmy Floyd]

They should go with the zeitgeist and just return everything to how it used to be. 9 points for a win, two qualifying sessions, minimum of 3 useless Italian equipes parking their elegant rustbuckets at the back of the grid, and a complete lack of safety provisions.

[Disco]

I'll take this opportunity to laugh at Ferrari again. They must spend that £100m every year on a really fancy gun with which to shoot themselves in the foot.

[Byron]

Ecclestone has finally gone :drool:

I mean, he's a honorary chairman but he no longer has any decision making power.

[Shindig]

Bernie Ecclestone has managed two drivers in his life. Both died on the track. Paying $100m to end a bribery trial is outstanding, though.

[Giggles]

Ding dong.

[Disco]

It's ten years too late but a good move anyway.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Ross Brawn is a great 'hire', as the Americans would and now will say.

I look forward to the immediate return of Brands Hatch and Imola.

[bruhnaldo]

'Murica FUCK YEAH coming again to save the mutha fuckin' day.

[Disco]

Given how awful all your own motorsport is that's hardly a ringing endorsement.

[bruhnaldo]

Oh trust me they absolutely ruined NASCAR yesterday. Instead of having one long race they're going to break it up into 3 segments and give "playoff points" to the winners if the first two segments. Of course the final segment is the "winner of the race".

It's all so fucking stupid. I AM going to the 24 Hours of Daytona this weekend. I don't know if that really counts as "our motorsport" but it'll be fucking awesome nonetheless.

[Magic]

Speaking of weird shit WSBK are making the 1,2,3 finishers from race 1 start in 8,9,10 in race 2 to make it MORE EXCITING. Lol.

= fatality no doubt.

[Disco]

The purist in me baulks at the idea of reversed grids but you can't argue with results, it does produce some good 'action'. Not sure I'd want to see it in a proper prototype series though.

[Jimmy Floyd]

It's remarkable how bad Indycar now is.

[Pepe]

The CART years were superb, but it all went to shit with the split. Grand Am was fine for a while but multi-class sportcar racing simply does not have the same appeal.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Proper motorsport fans (I don't qualify, I'm in it for the DRAMA and driving skills mainly) wank over sports cars, but I just don't get them.

If I'm not going to watch single seaters then it's touring cars or nothing. Can't be doing with bikes either, not the same magnificent aesthetic as cars.

[Magic]

Le Mans 24hr and all this GT crap is the most mind numbing shite in the world. Also having different classes in the same race is shite.

[Magic]

Proper motorsport fans (I don't qualify, I'm in it for the DRAMA and driving skills mainly) wank over sports cars, but I just don't get them.

If I'm not going to watch single seaters then it's touring cars or nothing. Can't be doing with bikes either, not the same magnificent aesthetic as cars.

Bikes are a trillion times more exciting than cars.

[Pepe]

Sportscar are good as a 'sport' but endurance racing makes for shit spectating. I also prefer bikes, both in excitement and in 'aesthetics.' There is something special about seeing someone fully leaned with his head centimeters from the floor.

[bruhnaldo]

I don't know about other endurance races or anything but the Daytona 24 hr is my favorite event of the year in any sport.

I'll get there ripe at about 7am. Walk around the paddock and watch everyone getting ready. Check out all the cars. They let you get pretty close to everything.

Then it's all about just walking around the different tents and shit and seeing all the exhibits and what have you.

Then they let everyone go out onto the track and sign the start/finish line and walk the grid as they stage all the cars and shit.

It's awesome to just sit on that banking and think about all the legends who have driven past that very spot.

Otherwise it's basically just a big ass party. I get pretty tore up every year. It's like a carnival on the inside with occasional car racing.

Plus I love when it turns night and you can really see the brakes light up and all that shit. The sound of the engines roaring out of a turn. There's a really great horseshoe section on the Daytona track (idk if anyones played Forza but anyways) that you come out of and go up into the NASCAR turn 1 and 2... it's basically a full out slam pedal to the medal sexfest for your ears.

I never really gave a fuck about endurance racing until I turned up there one year. I fucking love it.

[Magic]

Find me another finish in car racing as good as this:


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J94PF43oEps

To my mind only a few F1 (Arnoux and Villeneuve) for example but not many more.

[bruhnaldo]

I've gone to the St Pete Grand Prix the past couple years as well (IndyCar) and I feel like it's starting to get better.

Those later CART years and the years after CART were pretty awful but I actually got pretty lucky and saw Montoya make his final pass for the lead right in front of me in two different stands.

I think with most sports it's wayyy better to actually go to the events than watch them on TV.

[bruhnaldo]

I think I want to start watching the bikes though. It does look pretty exciting I'll have to say and Magic I think you may have even recommended me doing so last year. One of you anyways.

[Magic]

Its because you know pushing too hard in a bike could end up in serious injury or even death, not the same in a car. The guys really do put their life/limbs on the line every time (well the good ones). That's why when you see a proper hardcore battle knowing there is so much to lose it's unreal and the goosebumps are real tho.

[Giggles]

Find me another finish in car racing as good as this:


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J94PF43oEps

To my mind only a few F1 (Arnoux and Villeneuve) for example but not many more.

It's bikes though so it's completely irrelevant.

[Disco]

Jamie Whitham sounds like he was birthed from Fred Dibnah inside an actual steam engine.

[Magic]

Wisdom and the Whit. :drool:

[bruhnaldo]

i thought I heard Rossi finished 2nd like 3 years in a row or some shit?

Is he on his way out? Feel like he's been the only MotoGP guy since I've been born (no offense or anything I just don't know)

[Disco]

Rossi is the best I've ever seen (fairly analogous to Schumacher but without quite such an advantage in machinery) but he's at the end of his career now, it's a long long time since I watched him push his best friend into a gravel trap in order to win the championship.

[Pepe]

Find me another finish in car racing as good as this:


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J94PF43oEps

To my mind only a few F1 (Arnoux and Villeneuve) for example but not many more.

Never seen that before. :drool:


I think with most sports it's wayyy better to actually go to the events than watch them on TV.

I would agree with that for pretty much any sport, but not for motorsports (and I have been to a lot of races.) Watching cars pass every few minutes is not better than watching the whole race. If you are in a box with a TV (or in a stand with a screen) then yes, it is great. Otherwise, you're basically missing 90% of the race. Many times I would just go to the practices when there is no one and you can check out the cars and stuff (plus it is way cheaper) and then watch the race on TV.

[Giggles]

Also.


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Wp1klmtsWQA

[Jimmy Floyd]

Bikes are a trillion times more exciting than cars.

I didn't say anything about excitement. I just don't find two wheeled motors a compelling discipline. Knees on the road? Nah.

There's so much more to behold with a car.

[Magic]

I didn't say anything about excitement. I just don't find two wheeled motors a compelling discipline. Knees on the road? Nah.

There's so much more to behold with a car.

Is there?

[Magic]

Rossi is the best I've ever seen (fairly analogous to Schumacher but without quite such an advantage in machinery) but he's at the end of his career now, it's a long long time since I watched him push his best friend into a gravel trap in order to win the championship.

He's still up there though. His technique and adaption is second to none.

[Shindig]

Almost won the title a couple of years back.

[Giggles]

That's Manor officially gone then.

[Shindig]

At least Jules Bianchi now has a drive.

[Byron]

I'm hoping this will convince Liberty of the need to ensure that we don't have teams going to the wall every 2 years. 10 teams guarantee that every team will get some prize money but I remember reading that Sauber would be the next to go (they're under financial pressure) and Force India are having to cut back budgets every year.

As Jim says, lets have 14 serious teams and 6 teams made up of mental Italians in wooden go-karts.

[Shindig]

Not only that but a stability might attract more manufacturers and engine suppliers into the ecosystem.

[Shindig]

Okay, I don't think I fancy paying £180 for MotoGP's season pass.

[Jimmy Floyd]

New Williams:

http://d2d0b2rxqzh1q5.cloudfront.net/sv/1.67/dir/602/image/6022babb47daeeccbb46975317ec192f.jpg

I think it's white, but it definitely has ambitions to be grey. Is the Uri Geller sidepod a new thing?

[Disco]

The car is definitely white but the way the picture is taken they clearly wish it was grey so I think it has to count.

Now Ron has been taken out and shot McLaren are apparently going back to the colour scheme of the early 70's before the Marlboro deal. The press release convincing us that grey is really orange is going to be some read.

[Jimmy Floyd]

The good news is that Toro Rosso are apparently switching from blue to grey, so the grid won't be more colourful than it needs to be.

[Gray Fox]

I do hope we get an exciting mix of grey, silver and black cars this year.

Please tell me at least that Renault are going back to proper yellow?

[Jimmy Floyd]

The Mercedes car is grey. Don't believe their 'silver' propaganda and marketing spiel.

Renault was matte yellow last year, but I reckon they can incorporate some grey if they harness the full power of the French design industry. Force India and Haas should be commended for their commitment to grey despite other options being available.

[Disco]

The Sauber will look grey because they couldn't afford colour photography. It doesn't matter though because the entire team is grey down to it's very core.

[Shindig]

Damn it. We need a new engine supplier or manufacturer to shake the schemes up. Come back, Toyota.

[Giggles]

For a series that's normally pretty exciting, this E race in Argentina has been a serious yawn so far.

[Giggles]

The car swap pit stop thing is always good though.

[Jimmy Floyd]

The new Sauber is out; livery definitely has the feel of 'We're about to go out of business', much like the 1995 Simtek or the 1997 Lola. They've eschewed the grey that would have kept them in midfield anonymity for another season, but it was at least photographed on a vast grey floor.

[Giggles]

Love how they thought we wouldn't see the stupid fin if they painted it to match the background.

[Disco]

Very disappointed, it's almost interesting.


Pics for reference:
http://i.imgur.com/mbRV77q.png
http://i.imgur.com/6KP8C2f.png

A new game that's only been playable in recent years is looking for gaps in the paintwork/design clearly left in the hope that someone actually sponsors the team.

[Disco]

Both 'launched' cars do demonstrate one thing, the new regs won't be giving us close racing any time soon. Actually make that two, backache for whoever has to hump those rear tires on and off the cars.

[Jimmy Floyd]

They look to me like there's going to be a fuckload of dirty air pushing people outside the DRS zone, leading to processional trash all year. Call me an optimist.

[Gray Fox]

I know it's to be expected on the Sauber, but I can't help but feel there's a lot of space for sponsors going to waste on the side there.

At least it'll look okay while it's battling with the Mano... oh wait. I suppose we'll see it as it gets lapped by the fast cars.

EDIT: Damn, didn't see that at the bottom of Discos post

[Disco]

They look to me like there's going to be a fuckload of dirty air pushing people outside the DRS zone, leading to processional trash all year. Call me an optimist.

My thinking is that all those little wing elements mean any damage will cost you your front end grip. Not only does that make following someone harder it also discourages trying to overtake in the first place.

[Shindig]

That Sauber looks like my favourite Italy kit and, by extension, my favourite Valentino Rossi livery.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Meanwhile I see Toto and Niki have both signed new contracts. I'm a Toto fan I must admit, but does anyone know what Niki Lauda actually does? Does he have any form of decision making power, or does he just spout off on TV while the drivers seethe in their motorhomes?

[Gray Fox]

Renault has revealed their effort. They've gone for a yellow front section with everything else black with yellow accents.

Are all of the cars going to feature these fins on the back?

[Disco]

Meanwhile I see Toto and Niki have both signed new contracts. I'm a Toto fan I must admit, but does anyone know what Niki Lauda actually does? Does he have any form of decision making power, or does he just spout off on TV while the drivers seethe in their motorhomes?

His job is to be Niki Lauda and walk into rooms where people are talking about things so they think 'hey that's Niki Lauda, I wonder what he thinks about......' . He has a pervading aura of sensible badassery and people feel bad disagreeing with him. Imagine David Attenborough going on Call My Bluff, there's just no way you won't believe whatever he says, much the same seems to apply to Niki.

[Giggles]

https://www.formula1.com/content/fom-website/en/latest/headlines/2017/2/renault-launch-the-r-s-17-in-london/_jcr_content/articleContent/manual_gallery/image1.img.640.medium.jpg/1487698561380.jpg

[Disco]

Sinco when did it become the job of a photographer to capture as little as possible of the subject in each picture?

Also, if there were a dictionary entry for 'I REGRET ALL DECISIONS' ....
http://i.imgur.com/2JbZ1Md.png

[Giggles]

I had meant to put in the link to the rest but forgot.

[Byron]

Sinco when did it become the job of a photographer to capture as little as possible of the subject in each picture?

Also, if there were a dictionary entry for 'I REGRET ALL DECISIONS' ....
http://i.imgur.com/2JbZ1Md.png

That face is perfect :D

'Hello darkness my old friend....'

[Jimmy Floyd]

Force India:

https://joesaward.files.wordpress.com/2017/02/vjm10-and-drivers.jpg?w=500

Would you just look at all that sweet, beautiful grey.

[Disco]

Vijay is saving for his court case, colours must be expensive.

[Shindig]

Meanwhile I see Toto and Niki have both signed new contracts. I'm a Toto fan I must admit, but does anyone know what Niki Lauda actually does? Does he have any form of decision making power, or does he just spout off on TV while the drivers seethe in their motorhomes?

"Mercedes Engine Convention, followed by meet and greet with Niki Lauda."

[Jimmy Floyd]

New Merc:

https://joesaward.files.wordpress.com/2017/02/img_3812.jpg?w=500

Fully grey, but I expect no less from a team with their know how. The fin looks quite different to the others.

[Disco]

It's a lot smaller so I assume it cost about 8 times more to develop and will save two seconds across the whole season.

[Jimmy Floyd]

The Ferrari one will cost 10 times that and add to the lap time.

I find it hard to believe that Newey won't have designed the best one of these cars.

[Disco]

I could be horrendously wrong (like normal) but I don't think the changes will allow RB to claw back enough through aero gains to offset the existing Mercedes advantage. The other engine suppliers should have been able to close the gap slightly as well but still, I don't think it will be enough. Lewis is amongst the best there is and would be a decent bet in equal machinery, any advantage has to make him a massive favourite to walk away with it. So I guess I'm left with lolling at Ferrari and trying to work out if Max will have a 'difficult third album' or continue to wind up Riccardo enough to make him break.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Oh I don't think it'll beat the Merc, the German power unit's surely too good. I just reckon they might have at least an equal chassis, based on the usual Newey cycle of bossing aero formulae from the off, and be able to challenge at certain circuits. We also don't know how Bottas is going to get on, if he isn't locking out the front row every week then life becomes more difficult for our Lewis.

Ferrari being 9th and 10th on the grid in Melbourne is going to be quality.

[Disco]

They should have a dedicated channel broadcasting Vettels radio, I'd pay for that.

[Giggles]

As shite as the other fins looked, they've managed to make it look even worse.


https://d2kmm3vx031a1h.cloudfront.net/ugpaGHIZReZCAWwuGVcz_1.JPG

[Jimmy Floyd]

I lolled very hard at the bird's eye shot they did in which you can't see the fin. Fake news.

https://joesaward.files.wordpress.com/2017/02/img_3816.jpg?w=500

[Giggles]

I think all the teams did a shot like that.

[Disco]

They have the weird step on the nose cone too, as well as the funny little donger right at the front. I wonder if post-Ron Mclaren will allow such aesthetically displeasing elements.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Of course not.

https://joesaward.files.wordpress.com/2017/02/img_3825.jpg

That room is probably designed just to wind Ron up.

[Disco]

Jesus look at that thing, Christian Albers will be on the phone wanting his car back.

[Giggles]

Super secret diffuser.

https://pbs.twimg.com/media/C5bRUk_WAAA_gXZ.jpg

[Shindig]

Is this just an elaborate ruse to get a 2007 Spyker with a V12 on the grid? Also that main sponsor almost says Chandhok.

[-james-]

The new Canadian kid for Williams seems a laugh. Having spent a year being followed around current F1 circuits by a staff of 20 in a 2014 Williams, he's binned it three times in two days, keeping poor Felipe indoors.

Williams' Pat Symonds admits: "The last rookie with that many kilometers of testing for his debut was Jacques Villeneuve."

[Disco]

No wonder they shit the bed so much at the prospect of losing Bottas. Good to see the same stories as last year (and indeed every year) popping up during testing, Ferrari are apparently looking strong (as if) and Mclaren are having a mare (that one is probably spot on).

[Shindig]

The lad's really hurt by the lack of testing opportunities. He probably could've had a year popping up in FP3 getting the laps in.

[Disco]

No, he's hurt by trying to sidestep the normal route where he would have gained valuable experience.

[Jimmy Floyd]

How shit would you have to be to get sacked from a pay drive?

[Disco]

Depends on how well you draft your contract. Seeing as Clare Williams booted Race Winner Pastor Maldonado and kept all his money you would expect them to be reasonably well covered in that respect.

[Shindig]

I wonder how much Uji Ide brought in before they bothered to check his license?

[Disco]

I'm not sure he was paying much at all, Suzuki just wanted an all Jap line up, he even tried to bring him back.

[Gray Fox]

Someone has dared add colour to the Force India.

841626273499746304

[Pepe]

Hot.

[Disco]

That looks fucking great, best car since...... I can't even think of the last decent looking one (after about 1995 anyway).

Clemency for VJ!

[Jimmy Floyd]

Raspberry ripple. Glory be.

[Disco]

Having thought about it for five seconds I'm going with best since the Brawn in 09. I think they got the paint cheap off the Woking version of Del Boy but it worked.

[Shindig]

Palermo as fuck. :cool:

[Pleb]

That looks pretty filthy as pink.

[Disco]

Someone has dared add colour to the Force India.

841626273499746304

I'm quoting this so I can look at it on the new page too.

The brilliant thing is that it's basically the same design as last year but with one colour changed. See how simple it is you dickheads.

[Pleb]

Yeah but will it be quick? :baz:

[Disco]

There's a fine tradition of middling (or just plain crap) cars that were lovely to look at. Lotus and Tyrell spent most of the late 80's and 90's doing little else.

[Jimmy Floyd]

I have a guilty soft spot for the inaugural BAR.

https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/originals/29/5f/d9/295fd93199b0b22e18764dc7a5d29b1d.jpg

Although less so for the bloke driving it (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b4WiJeG_PBo).

[Disco]

Using precisely the same logic...

http://i.imgur.com/yXjrKc4.png

And no, I have nothing against Bertrand Gachot.

[Giggles]

I like the yellow Jordan.

[Disco]

This one?

http://i.imgur.com/38P6sTT.jpg

Damon Hill drove some sexy cars.

http://i.imgur.com/blrobwK.png

[Giggles]

That very one.

[Shindig]

I'm a sucker for racing green.

http://www.eaurougeclub.com/content/uploads/2013/08/jaguar-eddie-irvine-f1-2001-291.jpg

http://www.racecar-engineering.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/02/upcate.jpg

[Disco]

More sexual mediocrity.

http://www.aehdmedia.com/images/LeytonHouseCG901.jpg

http://www.f1fanatic.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/2012/05/020_naka_tyrr_1991-941x529.jpg

http://www.autosportcollection.net/images/productPhoto/C357_10.jpg

http://www.f1colours.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/08/benetton90.jpg

[Giggles]

What was that multi coloured one? A Benetton?

[Disco]

Yup, 1988(?). Nannini and Boutsen.

[Giggles]

Fair chunk of difference considering the situations and pilots.



https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y3H5gJEE-Ow

[Gray Fox]

Those chunky tyres really helping out in the corners it seems.

Hopefully we can have a 2 or 3 team battle for the title this year. Instead of the usual one were Toto pretends like the other teams are really close to their pace, then the weekend comes around and the 2 Mercs lol off into the distance.

[Disco]

I suspect you may be disappointed.

[Gray Fox]

I'm just hoping we get a season with McClaren as proper backmarkers. Seeing them and Honda seethe at each other, while trying to pretend it's all fine is great.

[Disco]

That one I think you're ok with.

[Jimmy Floyd]

That 1991 Jordan is a real beauty.

[Disco]

The line of the front wing and the nose cone, two things I will never tire of looking at. Same with the Tyrrell.

[phonics]

Remember when United Colours of Benneton was so huge they could afford to sponsor Formula 1? I don't think I've seen a shop of theirs in about a decade.

[niko_cee]

There are three in Geneva according to their website. I think they are still pretty big.

[Disco]

They did more than sponsor them, they bought the entire team and ran it for about 15 years.

[Lewis]

The last good looking car to win the thing was a fucking Brabham, and banning tobacco sponsorship ruined any chance of a decent colour scheme. Bernie wins again.

[John]

That Benetton thing is like a Polo Harlequin.

[Gray Fox]

http://www.skysports.com/f1/news/12433/10802617/mclaren-would-be-winners-with-mercedes-engines-says-team-boss-eric-boullier


McLaren boss Eric Boullier says the team would be winning if they were still powered by Mercedes engines.

Does anyone else want to tell him? :D

[Shindig]

I can see Honda pulling out this year. Nothing in that relationship sounds positive.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Melbourne is here.

http://www.bbc.co.uk/sport/formula1/39359382

Some absolutely first rate trolling there from dear old Lewis.

[Jimmy Floyd]

http://www.bbc.co.uk/sport/formula1/39376752

And there's the follow up.

[Disco]

Who'd have thunk it.

[Giggles]

It's going to be an absolutely rubbish season but at least it's back :drool:

[Shindig]

MotoGP as well. Heck. Maverick Vinales is on a big bike.

[Magic]

MotoGP as well. Heck. Maverick Vinales is on a big bike.

Now we're talking. So many potential things to discuss. :drool:

Also WSBK has been dece and BSB+BTCC next weekend? Pinch me.

[Giggles]

Make a poxy bike thread.

[Jimmy Floyd]

I'd win the BTCC on foot.

[Jimmy Floyd]

The interesting thing (if anything to do with F1 free practice is interesting) from the timesheets is that the Merc customer teams are all a fairly long way back, and also if the Hulk beats Jolyon Palmer by two seconds a lap all year it will be quite lol.

[Shindig]

I'd win the BTCC on foot.

Like Jason Plato would let you.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Don't tell me Alain Menu is still dragging one of his rustbuckets around as well.

What's John Cleland up to these days?

[Giggles]

Plato and Menu? Am I 30 again?

[Jimmy Floyd]

I've just looked through the lineup for this year and recognise at least Plato and Matt Neal from the mid 90s.

Rob Collard must have been around for nearly two decades as well.

[Shindig]

Not dying in a plane crash (I got him confused with David Leslie the other week). Alain Menu was last in the BTCC in 2015.

[Disco]

I did Rickard Rydell at the lights once, I'm pretty sure that gets me a trophy of some sort.

[Disco]

The interesting thing (if anything to do with F1 free practice is interesting) from the timesheets is that the Merc customer teams are all a fairly long way back, and also if the Hulk beats Jolyon Palmer by two seconds a lap all year it will be quite lol.

Being a customer sucks balls, biggest reason why Mclaren aren't shrugging off their kimono anytime soon.

[Pleb]

This thread has reminded myself to record Qualifying and the race not like it will make much difference.

Lol at Hamilton thinking Ferrari are "favourites" and "quickest".

[Disco]

I think tongue was firmly in cheek for those, he knew exactly what was going to happen in practice.

[Pleb]

That being said...

Mercs
Red Bull and Wings (Max Mad to run riot)
Fast Ferraris
^
^
^
^
^
Everyone.
^
^
^
^
^
^
Jolyon Palmer.

[Giggles]

Riccardo going into the barrier was about the height of the entertainment.

[Giggles]

Hamilton is such an insincere cunt.

[Jimmy Floyd]

and also if the Hulk beats Jolyon Palmer by two seconds a lap all year it will be quite lol.

3.3 seconds :sick:

That's Taki Inoue stuff, I'm sure Palmer wasn't this bad last year.

[Gray Fox]

http://www.bbc.co.uk/sport/formula1/39360973

The kid really is useless so far, isn't he?

[Jimmy Floyd]

I'd be more worried about Lance Lol.

[Disco]

At least Wehrlein has a good reason for being off the pace.

[Gray Fox]

I'd be more worried about Lance Lol.

I saw him in an interview for the first time today. He's like the 15 year old who bought fake ID to get into the club, but it actually worked and now he doesn't know what to do.

[Magic]

Why do you persist? It's fucking crap.

[Disco]

Why do you persist? It's fucking crap.

Divorced yet?

[Shindig]

3.3 seconds :sick:

That's Taki Inoue stuff, I'm sure Palmer wasn't this bad last year.

Last year he was a steady 11-16 finisher. Not having the Marussias will mean he has no cushion this year. Maybe the new cars have knocked his radar out.

[Disco]

This is going well.

[Shindig]

This is on a plate for Vettel.

[Disco]

That was pretty underwhelming as a season opener.

[SvN]

I forgot I even had it on. It was the over the top "VETTEL WINS IN AUSTRALIA" shout that made me remember it was on one of my monitors.

[Disco]

This combination of anthems is triggering flashbacks.

[John Arne]

That was boring.

[Giggles]

:cool:

[Shindig]

Well, we've got MotoGP in a few hours. Maverick Vinales on pole after a washed out Qualifying. Marquez starts 7th, Lorenzo 9th, Rossi 13th. There's a Suzuki on the front row. Gasp.

[Jimmy Floyd]

This combination of anthems is triggering flashbacks.

There's almost no possible result this year that doesn't lead to some fatherland musical action. Bring back Uncle Max and the von Trapp Family Singers.

[Disco]

The Dutch anthem isn't exactly spotless either.

If anyone finds a reliable source of MotoGP torrents I'd love to know about it, the guy who used to upload them to PB no longer does and KAT went down the drain.

[Shindig]

I'm waiting on terrible youtube efforts. I'll be supporting prostitution and terrorism but I can't be arsed to give Dorna the £173 for the next 7 months. As good as that package is, not giving you it for the full 12 months is gash.

[Disco]

Yeah that's not worth it. I'll hook you up with anything I find.

[Disco]

I have finally found another source for Moto stuff, PM me compromising photos in exchange for a link.

[Shindig]

Wish I could remember my password to disable uTorrent being blocked by sky. Every mirror site I used gets blocked as well. Ah, it's just a watershed thing. I'll d/l the races ready for tomorrow morning. The Sunday Ritual is on. Pity I already know who won the first race.

[Giggles]

Forgot all about Gutierrez until I seen him pop up in E today.

[Giggles]

That was an excellent race.

[Shindig]

Moto3 and Moto2 watched. One of these races was better than the other. Franco Morbidelli looks like someone to watch. I dunno why I'm still surprised by racing families producing good racers. There's the Binder brothers, Marquez brothers, Rossi's half-brother, the Vinales brothers, etc.

[Disco]

China, lol.

[Shindig]

It's like the Korean and Indian GPs pollution all rolled into one. Hopefully without the medical helicopter not being able to fly contributing to the eventual death of Jules Bianchi.

Oof.

[Giggles]

This is a fucking mess so far.

Ferraris strategical masterminds strike again too.

[John Arne]

Surprised Vettel was allowed to park it so for outside the lines. I would have thought that you have to stop within those two sidelines.
Strange that they investigated it and then left him off. It's either a rule, or it isn't.

[Giggles]

Surprised Vettel was allowed to park it so for outside the lines. I would have thought that you have to stop within those two sidelines.
Strange that they investigated it and then left him off. It's either a rule, or it isn't.

Don't people do the same every race? Not as far over but still outside the lines.

[John Arne]

Don't people do the same every race? Not as far over but still outside the lines.

I've seen them point the car different directions - but never seen anyone as far over as Vettel appeared. If it's the rules (which is obviously is), I'm surprised we haven't seen more of it.

[Giggles]

Is it just my stream or is the video feed in general horrendous?

[John Arne]

So much for overtaking.

[Giggles]

That was a horrendously bad race.

[Disco]

Better than the first one but yeah, the second half was pretty turgid.

[Pepe]

Lol at Alonso.

[Clunge]

Still, means we might get Jenson back at Monaco.

[Jimmy Floyd]

I wonder if he knows how shit Indy is. Maybe winning the Triple Crown (he should piss Le Mans in a couple of years) has become his new career ambition. Although he's not winning Indy is he, I suppose, so maybe it's all just some sort of marketing ploy.

[Giggles]

Seems to be more a McLaren idea than his anyway.

[Jimmy Floyd]

I know in business everyone has a desperate need to 'crack America' just by default, but what are Macca and their fleet of about nine production supercars (nine cars, not models) going to gain from US exposure via the Indy 500?

[Shindig]

Funding? Maybe Honda want to shift a few more Accords.

[Jimmy Floyd]

I'd have thought Honda want everyone to forget they have anything to do with it.

[John Arne]

Given Alonso doesn't have a long time to get to know the track, I've taken the time to prepare this track guide for him;

http://imgur.com/O3snUSg.jpg

[Jimmy Floyd]

Remember the infield section they made for F1? That was fucking bad.

[John Arne]

Aye, I believe it was made of lego.

[Disco]

I liked the year they only had 6 cars running, that was fun.

[Lewis]

McLaren do have their 'Track22' plan, which intends to release loads of new models and double turnover by 2022 (Ron Dennis OUT; Peter Lim IN), so maybe they want to hang the intended electric one (lol) off the back of their previous American success.

[Gray Fox]

I'm sure Jenson ties or breaks the GP starts record if he comes back, so it's probably going to be him for some positive PR.

Alonso throwing in the towel after 2 races speaks volumes though. There's been some talk of him offering to race for Mercedes for free next year. But that will come down to just how far Hamiltons love in, with him stretches.

[Jimmy Floyd]

He ties with Schumacher. Rubens still 16 clear of that.

Props to Riccardo Patrese for still being 5th in that list even though they drive inordinately more races per year now, and even though he was a completely talentless piece of shit.

[phonics]

I thought the reason Alonso went to Ferrari in the first place was because him and Hamilton couldn't stand each other?

[Jimmy Floyd]

They've been having a long distance love-in for the last few years. At first I thought it was Hamilton trolling him, but it seems to be mutual.

[Disco]

The distance is the crucial part of that, it wouldn't last five seconds if someone put them in the same team again and every team principal on the grid knows it.

Oh, and Patrese a 'piece of shit'? Bit harsh.

[Jimmy Floyd]

I guess he'd improved by the 90s.

[Clunge]

Ngl, thing I miss most about F1 atm is Webber.

[Shindig]

I've barely seen much Patresi but, from what I'm told, he became a bit of a mobile chicane near the end of his career.

[Disco]

Cruelly overshadowed by the most electrifying superstar ever to come out of the west midlands.

[Jimmy Floyd]

He managed to have his last three years alongside Mansell and Schumacher, having done a good stint with the ultimate wanker team mate Nelson Piquet earlier on. And there was one glorious year when whichever genius was running Brabham by then (not the short man) managed to pair him with de Cesaris. Hope they had a good parts supplier.

[Pleb]

Button is confirmed for Monaco.

Well that's a little bit lol.

[Giggles]

Alonso gets out of that shit car for a round, McLaren get to push their brand in the US, and we get more Button. Everyone wins.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Vandoorne not starting as the Honda has failed. Jesus wept.

[Byron]

At what point do McLaren realise they'd be better off cutting and running?

[Byron]

Lol Hamilton, looks like he'll get a penalty for slowing down in front of Smiley Dan.

[Jimmy Floyd]

He's properly mugged himself off here.

[Jimmy Floyd]

I haven't missed the old 'That's what I'm talking about!' at the end of races, I have to say.

[Byron]

I think Alonso having to retire right at the end is the perfect way to sum up McLaren this season.

[Shindig]

Michael Schumacher had the decency to never use Italian in his victory chatter. He'll have a passport inside six months and he'll be going on about how he's an ethnic Italian.

[Disco]

:drool:

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/business-39627135

[Gray Fox]

£600m? Goodbye Force India.

I've caught up with this season now and think it's poised very well. On balance I'd say the Mercedes is marginally faster. Hamilton was unlucky with the safety car and then the pit incident in Bahrain, but still took an easy second and would have been a second or two up on Vettel taking out those things I think.

What is interesting now is what Mercedes do with Bottas. It became blindingly obvious in Bahrain that Bottas is not near the same level as Hamilton right now. With Vettel being the No.1 at Ferrari, surely Mercedes are going to have to drop their 'let them race' policy.

[Giggles]

They already dropped it didn't they?

[Disco]

They won't need to if Bottas continues to be that slow. He looks extremely average at the moment but he always did have a habit of going missing for part of the race, still very early days for him though so I think he'll close the gap as he grows accustomed to the new car and team.

Stroll looks like the prize turkey this season, totally out of his depth and miles behind Massa. There must come a point where the massive wedge of cash doesn't look quite enough.

[Giggles]

The camera angles at this track really show off the speed well.

[Gray Fox]

Hopefull the Mercs being off there is them gearing the set-up for race trim. If not tomorrow is going to be quite dull.

[Giggles]

Bottas in front. That's a Hamilton win then.

[Shindig]

Cross these off your bingo cards:

- Honda mechanical retirement
- Stroll spin.
- Palmer out.

[Byron]

Good to see that Grosjean hasn't completely forgotten his Crashy Brothers roots.

[Disco]

Bottas looks strong here, it would be nice to see him win it. Hamilton hasn't had a clue through the last sector all weekend.

[John Arne]

This is incredibly boring.

[Gray Fox]

This track is awful. I can't remember seeing an on track overtake.

[Disco]

If I ran F1 I'd get rid of blue flags just to annoy Vettel.

[Disco]

Bottas :cool:

Vettel :lol:

[John Arne]

If I ran F1 I'd get rid of blue flags just to annoy Vettel.

Not sure why Vettel had a go at Massa, he was nowhere close enough. Vettel just expects everybody to pull over let him fly on through.

[Disco]

Anthems at the start are bad but a photo op with the supreme leader at the end as well? Get the fuck out of backwards shit holes please F1.

[Shindig]

Good set of MotoGP races in Austin. The Moto3 red flag was some nonsense but at least we got Fenati going nuts on the restart. Moto2 was actually not boring and I can see Morbidelli slotting into Rossi's role as soon as he retires in 2045. World Championship leading Rossi. With Vinales and Marquez showing they're human, this year might be about who's the most consistent.

[Disco]

Catching up on some bike racing today and I agree on Morbidelli, he trolled Marquez something silly in Argentina. Onto Austin now and I see Fenati is enjoying another false dawn, how long is it going to take him to get it together for more than a couple of races at a time?

[Disco]

I don't understand the confusion over the Rossi penalty, he gained an advantage by cutting the corner. It wasn't his fault but he took the piss by staying on the gas and closing right up to the guy ahead of him. Clear as day.

[Shindig]

Yup. Although I'm glad Pedrosa's pace dropped to such a degree it didn't matter. Some big crashes that weekend (That Moto2 one at the start was .... well, it could've killed someone.) and that rider with the unpronouncable name made a great save.

[Disco]

Yeah Simon was lucky to 'walk' away from that, Manzi(?) didn't seem to want to brake at all for the first corner.

[Shindig]

It was so dumb. :D Like he was turning up at the circuit for the first time.

[Disco]

Look at this thing, I bet Ron got them to put him in it as a joke.

http://i.imgur.com/fC7tHj4.png

Sure Fernando, this is what they'll all be driving.

[Jimmy Floyd]

I've been staring at that for over five minutes now and am still discovering new and terrible things about it.

[Lewis]

Orange McLarens are American motorsport icons, so I reckon I was right with that marketing gimmick slant.

[Pepe]

Half open wheeler half prototype. Full ugly.

[Jimmy Floyd]

If asymmetry is the future of oval racing, then I'm afraid oval racing has to be stopped.

[Disco]

Great race. Lewis all day long from here, let's hope they let them race to the finish.

[Disco]

No contest.

[Shindig]

Can't believe I've missed this. Wait. I absolutely can. Nice to see Lewis back on the top spot. He's too good to be off there for long.

God, I fucking hate Vettel's post-race Italian. Stop that. You're worse than mert!

[Disco]

No, I think if you go to Ferrari you have to do it properly. Perhaps the extra £100m went on Italian lessons.

Nice of Lewis to reference Spains history of racial abuse on the podium there.

[Disco]

Arrivabene must the most miserable fucker you could possibly find at that circuit, if he was any sadder they'd be setting up a meeting with Kimi to cheer him up.

[Gray Fox]

Something something... Grazzi! Something something.