The Weather Thread (Sponsored by the Autumn Equinox 2015)

[Waffdon]

13C all next week. :drool:

Tomorrow looks lovely at least champ

[Magic]

Tomorrow looks lovely at least champ

It does, and my convertible is in the garage. :moop:

[Manc]

Is that a euphemism?

[Mike]

It’s been brilliant today.

[John Arne]

Typhoon Yagi smashing up Northern Vietnam

1832707071768244664

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

It was absolutely hammering it down earlier this morning.

[John Arne]

179 dead, 150 missing following the typhoon over here :(

[SvN]

2 degrees this morning, for fuck sake.

[niko_cee]

Yeah, this promise of 'more settled' weather and acceptable temperatures next week had fucking better materialise.

[Pepe]

2 degrees in September. :harold:

[Magic]

We've got 17-21C next week but it's as per usual accompanied by fucking high winds.

[Manc]

Cold and crisp mornings are the one.

[Giggles]

It can do whatever the fuck it likes if the wind would just stay away. That said, living on the side of a mountain I can't really complain.

[Manc]

Torrential rain on a weekend. Le Tiss for PM.

[Baz]

Glorious next week, apparently.

[Serj]

Meanwhile, we're drowning down here in Central Europe. I was at my girlfriend's yesterday and she's had to put up buckets and lay down towels in four rooms because the water is dripping down from ceilings (there's a roof balcony above her flat which apparently hasn't been sealed properly or had functioning drainage installed) or seeping through walls underneath the windowsills.

Some neighbors from my building have reported similar so I went home, but everything dry here so far.

Lower Austria (the area surrounding Vienna) is fucked, though. Only one death so far, but the property damage from flooding looks astronomical.

[Magic]

Heartbreaking. :(

[Lewis]

I had flights booked for Vienna today but I cancelled them because I couldn't be arsed. Is the city itself flooded?

[Ben]

I've just asked one of my coworkers who lives there, and apparently not. But it's raining like fuck.

[Serj]

We're better off than the surrounding areas, especially to the Northwest. I think flooding of streets, basements, homes, power failures etc. only happened in the far West of the city around the Wien river, the centre didn't get any of that.

Depending on where you'd have gone getting around would have been annoying as some roads have been closed and several tram and metro lines are either not going at all or only cover part of their usual route. That's probably going to last until Wednesday at least.

[niko_cee]

Flooding and tornadoes forecast as Met Office warns of 100mm of rain in a day

Save us Elon!

[niko_cee]

Currently half six at night, dark, raining and 21 degrees in the middle of October. Bizarre.

[Ben]

I’ve actually just overseeded my lawn on account of this odd weather. I’ll report back with my successes.

[Spikey M]

Looks like winter is turning up next week. Hopefully the cold atleast means a break from the relentless grey.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Has anyone else noticed the eerie lack of wind? Been completely still, grey and 12 degrees for like a month.

[Spikey M]

Has anyone else noticed the eerie lack of wind? Been completely still, grey and 12 degrees for like a month.

Yeah, we've been parked under an anti-cylone for about a month. Calm but grey is what you get when they pop up in the autumn.

Beats the shit out of wind and rain, but my vitamin d levels are critical.

[niko_cee]

There was some wind the other day which came out of nowhere. Frankly I'm all aboard the anti-cyclonic gloom if it keeps the wind and rain at bay. Vitamin D levels? Sort yourself out.

[Spikey M]

Listen, white devil. Your skinny lips may not care, but some of us get ashy knees in such conditions.

[Giggles]

No matter what the weather is, it's all good when there's no wind.

[Ben]

I've got a shed to build at the weekend so I'll be delighted if the wind and rain remain elsewhere for a bit.

[Manc]

Never seen the moon so low. Is the world ending?

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

I've got snow.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Northern bastard. I just have heavy, heavy rain and darkness.

[Magic]

I've got glorious sun, no clouds, no wind and -4C. :drool:

[Spikey M]

I got absolutely soaked doing the school run this morning. Ice cold rain at that.

[Shindig]

A tiny dusting of snow on the rooftops. Nowt on the ground.

[phonics]

Snow all day here.

[Pepe]

16C over here but maybe a bit of snow towards the end of the week.

[Giggles]

Snow here now too, but it's been pissing rain so it's not worthwhile.

[Spikey M]

My car door is frozen shut. :moop:

[Giggles]

Some of our overnight snow stuck and then froze over. Was hairy enough getting down from the mountains this morning.

[Ben]

My car door is frozen shut. :moop:

Same. Well, driver's was fine but the other three were frozen shut. So I had to sit my daughter on my knee in the driver's seat for five minutes while it thawed and of course at 6.30am the first button she pressed was the horn. :D

[Magic]

What kind of cuckold car has a button for the horn?

[Giggles]

What kind of car doesn't?

[Magic]

I know the little pretend vans you drive about in do. Obviously real vans don't.

[Manc]

Baltic.

[Giggles]

I know the little pretend vans you drive about in do. Obviously real vans don't.

Bar some old experimental French shit, I've never seen any vehicle that doesn't have the horn on the big button in the middle of the steering wheel. Though I've never driven one of your mid life crisis mobiles so maybe there are some alternatives.

[Magic]

Bar some old experimental French shit, I've never seen any vehicle that doesn't have the horn on the big button in the middle of the steering wheel. Though I've never driven one of your mid life crisis mobiles so maybe there are some alternatives.

That's not a button you creep.

[Giggles]

That's not a button you creep.

Of course it's a button, it's just larger than your mind can comprehend.

[Spikey M]

I have never encountered a car that doesn't have a button for the horn. Be it a big button in the middle of a steering wheel or a small one on the end of the indicator stick.

How does your horn work, Traggers?

[Magic]

It's not a button.

[Spikey M]

Answer the question then.

[Magic]

It's just part of the steering wheel. Not sticking out or clearly defined, ergo not a button.

[Ben]

Well that escalated quickly.

Yes I meant the thing in the middle of the steering wheel. But for clarity, I used to have a Saxo where the horn was an ACTUAL BUTTON on the end of the indicator lever. Or is it not a lever?

[Jimmy Floyd]

I pay a guy with a French horn to sit in the passenger seat for all my journeys.

[Spikey M]

It's just part of the steering wheel. Not sticking out or clearly defined, ergo not a button.

Lolwut

[-james-]

Of course it's a button, it's just larger than your mind can comprehend.

Proper lolled at this

[SvN]

If it's not a button, I'd love to know what it is.

Googling "steering wheel horn" provides loads of results with replacement buttons for sale. The Wikipedia article (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Steering_wheel) for "steering wheel" includes the following:


In addition to its use in steering, the steering wheel is the usual location for a button to activate the car's horn.

[Magic]

Woke nonsense. It isn't a button and that's final.

[Spikey M]

What a hill to die on. :cool:

[Serj]

Heated arguments over semantics and exceedingly narrow definitions of things; you'd do well over here in the Germanosphere, Magic.

[Raoul Duke]

Don't push his buttons and wind him up

[Yevrah]

Are we actually entering an ice age?

Still somehow better than rain mind.

[niko_cee]

15 degrees at the weekend apparently, so it'll be a short one if we are.

[Shindig]

The walk up to the office was surprisingly not that icy. I do not like the idea of taking a spill and wiping out a laptop in the process.

[Waffdon]

Are we actually entering an ice age?

Still somehow better than rain mind.

Don’t you worry son, the temps go back to somewhat mild next week with a shit load of rain

[Manc]

I fell victim to some black ice on my lunch and hit the deck. Possibly the first time I've fallen over in my adult life.

[Magic]

You've fallen pretty far on here.

[Manc]

Doesn't work. Good effort though.

[Giggles]

Supposed to go from -2 to 14 tomorrow here. That can only mean wind and rain.

[Foe]

Car park looks like an ice rink this morning. So look forward to my annual skating lesson.

[Shindig]

Finally getting some proper snow over here.

[Ben]

The snow is teaming down here but I expect with the storm coming it will change to torrential rain shortly.

[Spikey M]

Just wind and rain here. Shite. Not sure I can be arsed with the football later.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Weather is abominable for doing basically anything. Changed my plans, heading for a coffee at my local Jaguar dealership.

[Waffdon]

Bit of snow here. Phone says it’s 2c but ‘feels like’ -10. No sure that’s true

[Lewis]

Just wind and rain here. Shite. Not sure I can be arsed with the football later.

Anyone you can offer the tickets to?

[Spikey M]

Anyone you can offer the tickets to?

I'm still blocked, would be tempting to troll again if not to be fair.

Alas, my son wants to go, so I'll just lump it.

[Spikey M]

Bit of snow here. Phone says it’s 2c but ‘feels like’ -10. No sure that’s true

I've always wondered how they work out what it "feels like".

[Magic]

I've always wondered how they work out what it "feels like".

Wind chill. It's a massive thing.

[Spikey M]

Wind chill. It's a massive thing.

Along with moisture in the air and other factors, I imagine. But I still don't see how they decide that Temperature X + humidity Y × windspeed Z = feels like -10c.

[Giggles]

Along with moisture in the air and other factors, I imagine. But I still don't see how they decide that Temperature X + humidity Y × windspeed Z = feels like -10c.

A meteorologist probably wouldn't understand how to do your job either.

[Spikey M]

Don't take an interest in anything other than your place of work. Gotcha.

[Magic]

Along with moisture in the air and other factors, I imagine. But I still don't see how they decide that Temperature X + humidity Y × windspeed Z = feels like -10c.

It's not an exact science, hence "feels like".

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Feels like a button.

[Magic]

No it doesn't.

[Spikey M]

17c tomorrow :cab:

[niko_cee]

I feel Storm Bert really went under the radar, sorry, and having snuck in, fucked a lot of shit up. Were all the weather-watchers distracted by the pretty snow or something last week? You usually can't get away from the warnings of the apocalypse when far less happens.

[Yevrah]

Yep, the sun is out now and the heating is off.

[Jimmy Floyd]

The new thing seems to be 'anger' at the government for not having warned people. This is the sort of bollocks you leave yourself open to when you start naming storms.

[Magic]

It's still pretty cold up here, especially at night.

[Baz]

You could peg washing out in this. :drool:

[Spikey M]

:happycry: :happycry: :happycry:

https://i.ibb.co/f0qZyfQ/Screenshot-20241204-121136-Met-Office.jpg

https://i.ibb.co/x2msbs1/Screenshot-20241204-121149-Met-Office.jpg

https://i.ibb.co/4F9pyTC/Screenshot-20241204-121202-Met-Office.jpg

[Waffdon]

Class

[Ben]

I've just procured 1200m worth of timber for new fencing. I think I'll wait a week. :D

[Boydy]

BBC News - Storm Darragh: Met Office issues rare red wind warning - BBC News
https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/articles/c2dxlwz219ko


Red warning for bits of Wales and the south west.

We've got amber for wind here from 1am tomorrow until 9pm. Yellow for rain from 3pm today till noon tomorrow.

[Magic]

Cue idiot dog walker or old person getting thwacked by an old tree.

[Waffdon]

BBC News - Storm Darragh: Met Office issues rare red wind warning - BBC News
https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/articles/c2dxlwz219ko


Red warning for bits of Wales and the south west.

We've got amber for wind here from 1am tomorrow until 9pm. Yellow for rain from 3pm today till noon tomorrow.

Apparently Everton Liverpool might be off. Presume due to this

[Boydy]

Belfast Christmas market is closed tomorrow because of the weather.

[Giggles]

This is easily the worst wind I can recall in at least a decade.

[Spikey M]

We're only under a yellow and it still had me up half the night whistling down the chimney

[Ben]

Luckily it never really worked its way over to the north east coast.

RIP Boydy and Giggles tho

[Jimmy Floyd]

As luck would have it I am currently in 'parts of Wales', does seem blowy out.

[Giggles]

If this is status orange then Galway and Mayo must look like Chernobyl.

[niko_cee]

This is easily the worst wind I can recall in at least a decade.

Enough about your guts though, what about the weather?

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Enough about your guts though, what about the weather?

Wahey!

[Magic]

We're only under a yellow and it still had me up half the night whistling down the chimney

Santa.

[Giggles]

Roof looks to be intact anyway, I've lost a gate and some fence but the roof would be the main thing.

[Mike]

This is the first test of the fence I repaired with my Dad after the guy next door had two failed attempts.

[Giggles]

I've had the joys of electricity for a sum total of 5 hours since Friday night, gone since 10pm last night again. Some pain in the hole when you need it for water too.

[Giggles]

The likes of this is fucking ridiculous. Do the BBC go on with the same shit?


1875546835659719080

[Luke Emia]

Yes.

[Spikey M]

I'm currently under a yellow warning for this:

https://i.ibb.co/wzM6jNM/Screenshot-20250104-190738-Met-Office.jpg
https://i.ibb.co/f9pmK9S/Screenshot-20250104-190756-Met-Office.jpg
https://i.ibb.co/BZz8nV5/Screenshot-20250104-190810-Met-Office.jpg

MetOffice? More like WOKEOFFICE. Amirite?

[Kikó]

Seems mental that the weather services are warning people about potential extreme weather. They need to get into their lane.

[Giggles]

Extreme :D

[Pepe]

Expecting 30cm of snow tomorrow. :happycry:

[Magic]

Keep your distance - you might need up to 10 times the normal gap behind the car in front
Accelerate gently - there's no need for high revs, and taking off in second gear can sometimes help avoid skidding
Be wary in freezing rain - in these conditions it's best to reduce speed, increase distance between vehicles, and watch out for slippery black ice
Look out for gritters - they'll be out spreading salt or using snow ploughs, so only overtake if it's safe

:harold:

[Pepe]

Take the entire week off. Nobody should be expected to leave home in such BRUTAL conditions.

[Magic]

Leaving home to go to work. :harold:

[Pepe]

I thought you were fired.

[Magic]

:har...

Oh yeah.

[Pepe]

It's alright, you are an ENGINEER. Should find something in no time.

[Mike]

We had enough snow to make a snowman, hopefully it’s gone soon though.

[Shindig]

It's already raining around here so the few inches we got will be slush in a few hours.

[Jimmy Floyd]

I presumed all the 'snow events' and colour-coded warnings were more about legal arse covering than anything else. London Rules, as Mick Herron would say.

[Giggles]

Not a hope I have a driving event to work event tomorrow :drool:

[Pepe]

Expecting 30cm of snow tomorrow. :happycry:

Things just getting started, but had to drive to a kids birthday party and things were already looking treacherous. I have a spare set of wheel with winter tires for the Fiat, but was too lazy to mount them. :happycry:

[Lofty]

The thing is it seems like overkill then you hear a group of daft cunts went up Scafell Pike in the early hours of this morning and had to call Mountain Rescue out due to the bad weather and not having the right kit :moop:

[Spikey M]

Most of the time they're there BECAUSE of the warning though. Every time there's a storm some idiot gets swept out to sea for the same reason.

[Bam]

Things just getting started, but had to drive to a kids birthday party and things were already looking treacherous. I have a spare set of wheel with winter tires for the Fiat, but was too lazy to mount them. :happycry:

Sorry, you drive a Fiat? :offshore:

[Pepe]

Yes, sir.

Made a snowman. :cool:

[Pepe]

https://i.imgur.com/q5B6dzp.jpeg

https://i.imgur.com/IS6Zi45.jpeg

:moop:

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Shit snowman.

[Pepe]

Inspired by you.

[Spikey M]

Go make us a snow angel plz

[Spikey M]

And write 'Phonics is a cunt" in the snow with your piss so we know you haven't just got it off Google.

[Giggles]

It's started again here now. I'd say I won't get out of the house until Friday at the earliest.

[Spikey M]

Snow angel pls

[Pepe]

Don't know about the angel. I hurt my back a few days ago and I fear that I will not be able to get back up if I lie down.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Inspired by you.

He clearly doesn't lift, bro.

[Manc]

It's started again here now. I'd say I won't get out of the house until Friday at the earliest.

If only you could work from home.

[Giggles]

If only you could work from home.

I am :harold:

[Manc]

One of us! One of us!

[Giggles]

One of us! One of us!

Exactly. I'm supposed to be but I'm not really.

[Pepe]

Still snowing. Unlikely that I will be able to leave my parking lot tomorrow. Oh well, more work from home!

[Pepe]

Yeah, not going to work tomorrow.

https://i.imgur.com/5g4aso5.jpeg

[Magic]

That's so funny it's a 500 as well. Prince.

[Pepe]

Me :cool:

[Giggles]

Is that the southern US?

[Pepe]

Midwest.

[Pepe]

-17 right now. Explains why my toes are hurting after two minutes outside.

[niko_cee]

At least you aren't on fire.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

He might try it if gets much colder.

[Magic]

It's fine he's got a wet back.

[Spikey M]

Racism. Noncing jokes. Magic is back :cool:

[Pepe]

Your rejection broke him.

[Magic]

I'm gonna try really hard this time to not end up in the single race car bed, bois.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

You can't alter your destiny.

[Spikey M]

£10 on MMA fighter

[Giggles]

More fucking wind.

[Giggles]

At least Boydy and the lads will be ok.


1882128981090284006

[Spikey M]

:D

[Ben]

Did it used to be this windy?

[Spikey M]

Yes. Just without names and colours. Instead Michael Fish got the big arrows out.

[Ben]

My wife has bottled it and decided to stay at her parents tomorrow with the daughter because they're going out together on Saturday.

Friday night and all day Saturday alone, what a shame. Just hope I don't lose some roof tiles.

[Boydy]

We've been upgraded to red now.


BBC News - Rare red weather warning issued as Storm Éowyn barrels towards UK
https://www.bbc.com/news/articles/c5ye2jpjx03o

[Spikey M]

It does look like Ireland and Scotland are going to get their arses tickled. We had a red warning for Eunice in 2022 and there were trees down and roof tiles flying all over the place. Legitimately thought we were going to lose the roof at times.

[niko_cee]

I'm sure I've seen 'rare red warning' quoted at least twice in the last 6 months.

[Ben]

Just checked the forecast for my projects up in the Highlands. I'll be astonished if there's no wreckage to clean up on Saturday.

Thunderstorms and 85mph winds. Rough.

[Boydy]

All the schools have been told to close now.

At least the worst of it is during the day time so if the power goes off I can take the day off work.

[Giggles]

We've been upgraded to red now.


BBC News - Rare red weather warning issued as Storm Éowyn barrels towards UK
https://www.bbc.com/news/articles/c5ye2jpjx03o


1882368962006270292

[Ben]

We're not taking them back now. Enjoy.

[Waffdon]

Met office has here getting 1mph less winds but we’re not worthy of the red warnings :’(

[Spikey M]

Jelly and Ice-cream.

Edit: @ United Ireland, not Waff's Amber breeze.

[Boydy]

All the Lidls are closing now apparently.

[Magic]

Met office has here getting 1mph less winds but we’re not worthy of the red warnings :’(

I've got 81 where I am, is that not red?

Edit: yes it is. But we're still on amber. :(

[Magic]

How are we all today?

[Spikey M]

Well, I'm assuming Giggles and Boydy are dead / without power.

[Magic]

:drool:

[niko_cee]

Couple of wheelie bins down.

That's about it.

[Boydy]

Well, I'm assuming Giggles and Boydy are dead / without power.

My power is actually okay at the minute. It is incredibly windy though.

[Spikey M]

You're under a red warning you minge. Atleast give us some drama. Make something up if you have to.

[Lofty]

My bbq cover blew off, my furniture cover was on the way despite being secured with weights. A bit of mortar has landed on the flat roof of my kitchen fron somewhere.

[Giggles]

No power. Most things look intact so far I think.

[Spikey M]

Fuck sake, Igor get in here with an outlandish tale please.

[Bam]

No wind here, suns is starting to come out on the English riviera.

[Waffdon]

Feels pretty meh so far, it’s windy but doesn’t feel like anything special. It says between 70-82mph until 7pm from now so we’ll see if it spices up

Edit: now I’m confused. It literally says max 69mph for Belfast. The fuck is that red flag worthy

[Magic]

Starting to pick up a bit here. Bring on the power cuts.

[Spikey M]

No wind here, suns is starting to come out on the English riviera.

I'm in Barking and there's barely a breeze. Well deserved yellow warning imo.

[Foe]

Charged my switch so I can play Pokémon if things go black.
Bit windy and wet, but I’m going to see how bad it is on my wander to the gym.

[Ben]

Peak wind here so far is 54mph. Less than I thought but it's taken my garden fence regardless.

[Magic]

Our 'general wind' is 40MPH and gusting up to 81MPH.

[Manc]

A measly 25 mph in Yorkshire. Some fellas actually used it as an excuse not to come into the office. Finessed.

[Spikey M]

A measly 25 mph in Yorkshire. Some fellas actually used it as an excuse not to come into the office. Finessed.

I was hoping it would fuck the trains up for me tbf. But no, running fine. Stupid #WorkingBritain

[Bam]

I'm in Barking and there's barely a breeze. Well deserved yellow warning imo.

I'd rather the storm than being stuck in Barking. :console:

[Spikey M]

I'd rather the storm than being stuck in Barking. :console:

You and me both brother.

[Magic]

Damn we just got 102MPH.

[Ben]

Few lengths of 4x2 in the ground and the fence IS BACK.

[Foe]

Under whelming here. Biggest drama being some poor girl had two (abandoned/disposed/awaiting collection?) fridges topple over onto her car bonnet.

They’ve been there about a week so she should’ve at some point thought “hmm… maybe I should move these” but still a shame.

Imagine claiming that on insurance: cause of damage - fridge.

[Shindig]

Went out shopping before and it really sounds worse than it is.

[Ben]

Yeah it was all hype. I’ve lost a fence but that long outlived itself. New one was already bought pre-storm.

[Spikey M]

Wasn't worth mentioning, never mind a yellow down here.

[Giggles]

Worst I ever recall here, a title which Daragh had a few weeks ago. Still not a lick of power.

Picnic table ended up in the next field and the bird feeder is nowhere to be seen, but I don't see any rooftiles off thankfully.

[Giggles]

You think there would have been some sort of plan in place to deflate that beforehand or something.


1882868976100724967

[Mike]

We couldn’t let the kids out at playtime because it was windy, all because we’d had parents phoning up worried about how we were keeping them safe.

[Magic]

Worst I ever recall here, a title which Daragh had a few weeks ago. Still not a lick of power.

Picnic table ended up in the next field and the bird feeder is nowhere to be seen, but I don't see any rooftiles off thankfully.

When you run out of charge. :drool:

[Giggles]

When you run out of charge. :drool:

How can you run out of charge when you've a car you imbecile?

[Boydy]

1882844241942249928

Bloody hell

[Giggles]

Most of them west of the Bann I'd imagine.

[Magic]

How can you run out of charge when you've a car you imbecile?

I meant your phone you stupid cunt so I can finally stop reading your bullshit.

[Giggles]

I meant your phone you stupid cunt so I can finally stop reading your bullshit.

I know that's what you meant, and it's exactly what I meant too. You really are as thick as mince aren't you?

[Boydy]

My lights and TV just flickered. :uhoh:

[Magic]

I know that's what you meant, and it's exactly what I meant too. You really are as thick as mince aren't you?

Go have a bath with a toaster. Oh wait, you can't pahaha hehe.

[Giggles]

No wonder you fail at everything.

[Kikó]

1882844241942249928

Bloody hell

Is that better or worse than normal LMAO

[niko_cee]

:D

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Was out walking when a hailstorm came in.

Absolutely hammered it down with the roads and pavements becoming icy as fuck.

[Lewis]

Hailstones setting car alarms off down the street. Luckily mine doesn't have one. :cool:

[Pepe]

Car alarms are one of mankind's worst inventions.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=khLRjyJ_Ymo

Are they though?

[Waffdon]

Odd day aside, it has been very sunny for a good month or so now. Decent temps throughout this week and next week as well.

Summer nailed on to be tragic

[niko_cee]

Yeah, feels like is hasn't really rained for ages. Even the ground here has transitioned from its horrific mud state to baked earth mode. Something's got to give.

[Magic]

Odd day aside, it has been very sunny for a good month or so now. Decent temps throughout this week and next week as well.

Summer nailed on to be tragic

It's been shite weather last weekend and this weekend.

[Waffdon]

It's been shite weather last weekend and this weekend.

You just make stuff up at this point

[Magic]

You just make stuff up at this point

I forgot you live on the west coast now.