The little things in life that fuck you off

[Jimmy Floyd]

People (it's women) parking as close as possible to the door of places at all costs is a real societal issue. Just walk 30 yards, it's not hard ffs.

[Luke Emia]

People (it's women) parking as close as possible to the door of places at all costs is a real societal issue. Just walk 30 yards, it's not hard ffs.

Yep. Trying to squeeze a massive SUV into the smallest and first space that they find is a real blight on society.

[niko_cee]

Just parked up having a coffee in a filling station and there’s easily more cunts can’t use a parking space properly than can. Parking right at the door, parking at the pumps and not using them, I just seen a cunt in an A7 park across two handicap spaces. Every one of them should be snipered as they walk out of the shop.

I saw a massive old (ish) Bentley beached over two disabled spaces at the supermarket yesterday and was very tempted to take a pic.

I would definitely be in favour of roving car crushers meting out summary justice for obnoxious parking.

[John Arne]

There was a footballer, I can't bloody remember who, who admitted that when he lived in London he basically just parked where he liked and just paid all the fines - easier than finding parking or public transport. His wife did the same.

[Boydy]

Cars are too big nowadays as well.

[Spikey M]

Ok boomer.

[Spikey M]

There was a footballer, I can't bloody remember who, who admitted that when he lived in London he basically just parked where he liked and just paid all the fines - easier than finding parking or public transport. His wife did the same.

Any offence for which the punishment is a fine is an offence that only exists for the poor.

[John Arne]

Any offence for which the punishment is a fine is an offence that only exists for the poor.

Indeed. Should be some sort of means test.

[niko_cee]

They do sort of means test speeding fines don't they?

[Spikey M]

There is for court fines, but it's nowhere near what it should be. The bands are normally something like £100 - £1000, but the difference in income between a Universal Credit claimant and a City Banker is going to be worlds apart. Especially when the Universal Credit claimant would have to cut back on the food shop to afford the £100 and the Banker would just write off a grand as a business expense.

Fuck you Kiko.

[Kikó]

Brothers got to get his hovis.

[Raoul Duke]

Brovis before hovis, as they say

[Spikey M]

Kingsmill for this Kings meal.

[Lofty]

There was a footballer, I can't bloody remember who, who admitted that when he lived in London he basically just parked where he liked and just paid all the fines - easier than finding parking or public transport. His wife did the same.

Balotelli did that in Manchester too.

[Baz]

John terry was the famous case iirc

[Danny]

Had no electricity since about 11 this morning (it’s 3:30 now). Reported it and they sent out people to have a look. Turned out it wasn’t isolated to us and was impacting about 20 houses.

Get a reported fix time of 2:30 and when it hits that time we get a call that power is back on and it was ‘scheduled maintenance’. Bullshit. No warning, no notice and nothing on their website.

Anyway the power never came back on so we reported it instantly and now they are saying “a downed power line” and est fix time of now.

Why can’t they just be honest? :face:


Edit: and it just updated from a 3:30 fix to “reassessing condition”. Lovely.

[CJay]

People who ask questions at the end of a long day of webex / zoom training. Save them for an email for the trainer you selfish twats.

[Don]

Absolutely, although simultaneously, I am disturbed by prolonged silences after a request for questions/comments on big calls.

It really depends on the call and subject I guess, if the invitation is an empty one for questions right at the end of a simple training session, yep. If the progress of the call is designed around audience participation, hang whoever decided to do it as such instead of a nice continuous prose.

[Queenslander]

Standing in line for coffee next to half the Brisbane Lions squad really hits home at how short and bald I am...


I felt like I was standing next to 15 Captain America's.

[Shindig]

"My special power is Early Onset Dementia."

[Giggles]

Some shitebag not slowing down on loose chippings did my windscreen this morning. I’m only lucky it passed its test last week.

[Giggles]

Am I doing something wrong or can Apple TV really not remember where you left off in a show?

[CJay]

Am I doing something wrong or can Apple TV really not remember where you left off in a show?

Never had any problems with that before. With Apple content or other stuff. What are you using?

[Giggles]

I’m using the Apple TV+ app on my TV. If I leave an episode somewhere, when I go back on to the app the same episode will be shown as my ‘up next’ and always start from the beginning.

[igor_balis]

The smells coming out of my arse are almost worrying today. I spent a month or so being really sensible and boring, but had a mini relapse the last couple of days and it's like my body is protesting. It was just some bacon and mince and a few chocolates and biscuits, but it smells like when I'd had a large mixed kebab and 10 pints of guiness the night before. At least I haven't shat myself.

[niko_cee]

Your body is rewarding you.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

The smells coming out of my arse are almost worrying today. I spent a month or so being really sensible and boring, but had a mini relapse the last couple of days and it's like my body is protesting. It was just some bacon and mince and a few chocolates and biscuits, but it smells like when I'd had a large mixed kebab and 10 pints of guiness the night before. At least I haven't shat myself.

Yet.

[CJay]

I’m using the Apple TV+ app on my TV. If I leave an episode somewhere, when I go back on to the app the same episode will be shown as my ‘up next’ and always start from the beginning.

Weird. Is there a way to restart the app?

What are you watching out of interest?

[Giggles]

The second series of The Morning Show. It's not as bad in comparison to the first series as people had made out (so far, I'm on ep4). Outside that the only thing I watch on it is For All Mankind, though I may go back to series 2 of Ted Lasso over Christmas also.

[CJay]

Never got into The Morning Show. Think I went two episodes deep and felt that it was trying a bit too hard.

Long Way Up / Round / Down is fantastic if you're into travelogue / adventure kinda show. Ewan McGregor and some other fella doing long distance trips on motorbikes. Top Gear specials without the scripting, challenges, and twats.

[Kikó]

The second series of The Morning Show. It's not as bad in comparison to the first series as people had made out (so far, I'm on ep4). Outside that the only thing I watch on it is For All Mankind, though I may go back to series 2 of Ted Lasso over Christmas also.

It's a bit of a mess really. The story and acting is all over the place. (I don't think the first one is that high a standard either)

[SvN]

For some reason I detest Jennifer Aniston. Not sure why.

[Lofty]

Leave Jennifer Aniston alone. She has aged better than Courtney Cox.

[Giggles]

Leave Jennifer Aniston alone. She has aged better than Courtney Cox.

She’s fair ropey in this new series. Injecting and tucking can only go so far I suppose.

[Kikó]

I'm sure she'd look a million times better if she hadn't as well.

[Giggles]

Her top lip would anyway. Though she’s still in some shape in fairness to her.

[Pepe]

Monica Bellucci still the GOAT.

[Lofty]

No-one is looking better than Elvira does at 70.

[igor_balis]

The barbers I go to opens 7.30 Saturdays, I thought I was being well clever arriving at 7.15 to have a fag and wait at the front. Already 4 blokes waiting. What? It's a bit like when people camp out at the front of a gig venue to get to the front, except in a dark deserted town centre.

[igor_balis]

I wanna be like fuck off you losers but I'm obviously part of the problem.

[Lofty]

The same problem at mine, any day of the week is a risk. People just want to get it done and get on with their day.

[Spikey M]

Me, Jimmy and Foe right now.
https://i.makeagif.com/media/9-08-2016/Ztg6vL.gif

#BaldLyfe

[Manc]

Queenslander. :(

If you're going to a barbers that doesn't have a booking system you're doing it wrong.

[Raoul Duke]

Being up and out at 7am on a Saturday = :cab:

[Baz]

Being up and out at 7am on a Saturday = :cab:
Nah it’s class. Beating the queues in the shops (before covid meant I just order everything) is a sensational start to a weekend.

[Giggles]

Yep it’s the only way to go. I was home from 3 different supermarkets by a quarter past 9 this morning. It’ll be pandemonium later on in there.

[Spikey M]

Why are you shopping in 3 Supermarkets? I thought only my in-laws did that.

[Manc]

3 Supermarkets, 2 Masks, 1 Ireland.

[Giggles]

Why are you shopping in 3 Supermarkets? I thought only my in-laws did that.

Each one didn’t have all the things I required.

[Giggles]

3 Supermarkets, 2 Masks, 1 Ireland.

1 mask, not working.

[Queenslander]

Queenslander. :(

If you're going to a barbers that doesn't have a booking system you're doing it wrong.

I shaved my beard but I had brilliant local barber during the covid times.

[Lofty]

Queenslander. :(

If you're going to a barbers that doesn't have a booking system you're doing it wrong.

My barber doesn't use a booking system, he also charges £15 less than the ones who do.

[Manc]

It shows, M8.

[Giggles]

Could a beard not be self done?

[Lofty]

It shows, M8.

:D

It actually looks good when it is freshly cut but my hair grows like a cresshead on miracle grow and I refuse to go more often than monthly.

I have some tools for managing the beard but if you make a mistake it can spiral into a fuck up rapidly, happened in lockdown and it was a good job I didn't have to leave the house for a while.

[Giggles]

I gave up on mine lately so I’m sporting a top notch chrome dome with the fluff on the sides and back. Bit more and I could try a combover.

[Spikey M]

Would you like to be called Mr Burns or Prince William going forward?

[Giggles]

I’d love to see Wills sporting a handlebar.

[Shindig]

I've only had to queue once in my barbers but it was like an hour wait.

[Pepe]

I rather have all the cookies in the world automatically downloaded into everything I own that having to click on all that shit every time I go to a website.

[Giggles]

I rather have all the cookies in the world automatically downloaded into everything I own that having to click on all that shit every time I go to a website.

This x 10,000,000.

[Spikey M]

My phone appears to be on the way out. The battery plummets from 100% to 20% in about 15 minutes, then when connected to charge it goes back up to 100% just as quickly.

Anyone had this? I presume it's terminal?

[Manc]

Was happening to mine a few weeks back. I bought a new charger and it's worked wonders. How old is the handset?

[Spikey M]

Ah. I'll give that a try, cheers. It's only a year or so old. I think I'm only half way through my contract.

[CJay]

Can’t you take it / send it somewhere for a battery replacement? Sounds like the battery is dead / dying.

[Raoul Duke]

If it's an iPhone there's a battery health readout it can give you in Settings > Battery. Might be an Android equivalent

[Shindig]

Mine had a hiccup the other day where I'd start with 24%, get off my bus an hour later and it'd be down to 4% only for it to rebound back to 20% when I got home after work.

[Don]

Your microchips are draining power from the battery through their electrical field.

[Disco]

For about two months now the local Sainsburys has been devoid of proper cans of coke, there's a big space on the shelf for them but they never have any. Plenty of the other shitty varieties, tiny cans and bottles but none of the normal stuff. I now make a point of walking down that aisle whenever I go just to see if they've managed to find any.

[Baz]

Keep us updated please.

[Foe]

For about two months now the local Sainsburys has been devoid of proper cans of coke, there's a big space on the shelf for them but they never have any. Plenty of the other shitty varieties, tiny cans and bottles but none of the normal stuff. I now make a point of walking down that aisle whenever I go just to see if they've managed to find any.

It was the same with cans of Dr Pepper zero during lockdown last year. I checked every time I went to Morrison’s but it took a solid year or so for supply to be reinstated.

[SincereTheRebel]

The Linda McCartney cheese and leek pasties had the same issue. Ive only recently found them once again recently.

[Giggles]

Bread sauce for me this year. Couldn’t be got.

[randomlegend]

Just make it mate.

[Giggles]

I must have said about the bread sauce before because I do recall saying it wouldn't be the same before.

[randomlegend]

https://www.norfolk.police.uk/wanted-persons/leon-punchard

We got stuck on the a47 for 3 and a half hours the other night because this nobend was threatening to lob himself off the bridge and then somehow ran away.

Road was closed til 2.30am but they turned us all round at about quarter to 12 (god knows why it took so long).

[Giggles]

That's where snipers are needed.

[Yevrah]

5 foot 4? I'm surprised it took him until 30.

[Giggles]

He looks 45.

[Boydy]

I must have said about the bread sauce before because I do recall saying it wouldn't be the same before.

You did.

But also: any bread sauce > no bread sauce.

[randomlegend]

It'd also be better not worse.

[Boydy]

It'd also be better not worse.
Yeah but Giggles is very set in his ways.

[Giggles]

Different from something you’ve had for 20+ years is always going to be worse, even if it’s “nicer”. I just didn’t have any after.

[randomlegend]

At least give it a go mate.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

At least give it a go mate.

Boomers don't like change.

[Giggles]

At least give it a go mate.

I probably will do when I don’t have everyone over on Christmas Day.

[Baz]

Spent 3 days raising my daughters tamagotchi and she’s been on it this morning and somehow got rid of it and started again with a new egg. :( RIP little fella.

[Spikey M]

So fucking weird.

[randomlegend]

So fucking weird.

Agreed, nuking a 3 day old tamagotchi pet is mental. Tell her she's weird from me and Spikes, baz.

[phonics]

Buying a pack of cigarettes as I have done every other day for the last 17 years.

Them: Do you have ID?

Me:I have a Swiss ID, I don't like to carry my passport round incase I lose it.

*Staring at it*

Me:I'm 33.

Them:I can see that but I have to check if this ID is real.

Why? You think I've got a fake ID that says I'm 15 years years over the legal age?

[Spikey M]

It's lucky you have to be an expert in International Fraud to man the till at the local Shell Garage.

[phonics]

Was at the pub tonight and felt that this guy was going left and right to say how funny the Asian bartenders name was. He came up to me and I said his ‘hilarious’ joke wasn’t funny and that saying that his mate wanted to have gay sex with him wasn’t funny either.

He took that badly and said ‘mate I’m not racist. Here’s a joke, ‘what do you call a black guy on a zebra crossing.’’ He said ‘now you see me now you don’t’ and I didn’t laugh. He got very angry at me.

I saw him outside when smoking a cig and he asked what my problem was and I said his jokes weren’t funny. I asked where he was from because I thought he was welsh but turns out he’s a traveller.

He claimed that I was easily offended. At which point him and his mate blocked me from re-entering the pub because I hated travellers.

[Don]

I mean if you're not gonna laugh at banter like that after a few, you need to find yourself a craft beer gaff.

[phonics]

Gotta call a dickhead a dickhead. Cant let a barman get bullied whos clearly hating it because hes contractually obliged to.

[Spikey M]

What was the original joke?

[John Arne]

And what sort of "Asian"?

[Lewis]

You're asking for it working in a bar with a name like 'Por Dit Wong', and I bet he was lolling along with them before phonics started causing bother.

[randomlegend]

Yeah racism is definitely cool and funny so long as it's in a pub. Can't believe you didn't laugh at that hilarious zebra crossing joke you probably first heard on the playground when you were about 13.

[Offshore Toon]

They can't have been proper travellers if you're able to post after that altercation. It was probably Tommy Fury.

[Giggles]

Nobody on this planet has ever needed a slap more than that old cunt on the left.


1481726387539095562

[Kikó]

Sorry for ever introducing Famleigh into your sphere of hatred :D

[Shindig]

They have one gimmick and it's forever shit.

[wullie]

Looking forward to them having a go at Christmas no.1 with a song that references pork pies for charity.

[Giggles]

Whatever about Baz and Mike, that’s just the way yoofs are in the TikTok age. But there’s absolutely no need for rapey old uncle tiddler to be behaving like that.

[Ian]

"rapey old uncle tiddler" :D

[Spikey M]

The rapey old uncle really reminds me of one of my old managers. He used to sit chatting to the women half his age, keeping them updated on how many machines he used at the gym last night and giving them unprompted advice.

I'd be willing to bet silly money that this cunt does similar.

[Boydy]

Some English people's pronunciation of "Belfast". I guess I'm gonna be hearing it a lot now thanks to Kenneth Branagh's new film.

[Jimmy Floyd]

I've always disliked saying it, as it sounds stupid in my accent, but I'm not just going to start using someone else's accent for random words.

The only way around it is to put all the emphasis on 'Bel' and turn the a into a nondescript vowel.

[Spikey M]

Bell Fast. That's the word.

[Giggles]

Béal Feirste.

[Boydy]

I'm afraid you're going to have to record yourself saying it and let me judge it.

[Shindig]

This is not a workgroup for your sick fetishes, Boydy.

[Baz]

Belfarst.

[Spikey M]

The locals pronounce it brrfrr.

[-james-]

It's been mildly amusing observing my mum's pronunciation of the first syllable in "Glasgow" shift further north since I moved here and started saying it with a short a sound. It definitely sounds daft in her, and presumably my own, accent.

Not as daft as saying Glars-cow mind.

[Ian]

Scottish people get really pedantic about how English people pronounce or emphasises place names we've never fucking heard of, but will then proceed to rhyme Yorkshire with hire.

[-james-]

Scottish people get really pedantic about how English people pronounce or emphasises place names we've never fucking heard of, but will then proceed to rhyme Yorkshire with hire.

Spoken like a man who's attempted to say Milngavie without prior research.

[Ian]

Milngavie, Chatelherault, all the classics.

Funnily enough lads we don't discuss those places much when you're living in Lincolshire.

I normally just show them somewhere from England I know is misleading (Stivichall (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Stivichall), if I'm feeling particularly Midlands that day) and then call them a thick cunt when they pronounce the v.

[Spikey M]

I was mocked by a Brummie Taxi driver for pronouncing Warwick "War-Wick", but by far the best I've come across - which is just outright idiocy - was my friend attending a party at Yacht Club and having to show the driver his phone because he had no idea what a "Yack-utt Club" was.

[Shindig]

I had one person in the office pronounce Slough as Slow which took me by surprise. Apparently the claimant tore her a new one over it. :D

[Ian]

:D

Superb. How old was said friend at the time?

[Spikey M]

:D

Superb. How old was said friend at the time?

Must have been early 20's. I'm not sure age is an excuse though, he is thick as pig shit.

[Jimmy Floyd]

When I was about 18 I went into a coffee shop on Victoria Street, in the heart of snooty central London, looked at the range of available coffees, and thought I'd try something different - so went for the Mocha. Unfortunately I'd never heard it said out loud, so asked for a 'Motcha'.

I've never been sneered at from so many angles by the entire staff of a place. Still gives me the shivers just thinking about it.

[Don]

Worcester is, and forever will be, Worchester to me.

[Shindig]

Towcester took me longer to grasp than I like to admit.

[niko_cee]

Milngavie, Chatelherault, all the classics.

Funnily enough lads we don't discuss those places much when you're living in Lincolshire.

I normally just show them somewhere from England I know is misleading (Stivichall (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Stivichall), if I'm feeling particularly Midlands that day) and then call them a thick cunt when they pronounce the v.

Suckyhall street. I mean, come on. All the whiskies as well, 99% of which are clearly on the wind-up [we'll tell 'em we say it like this . . .]

It's actually impossible to say loch correctly as a non-native speaker.

You can always fight back against the jocks by asking them to say the name Carl. No, not Carol, Carl.

[-james-]

When I was about 18 I went into a coffee shop on Victoria Street, in the heart of snooty central London, looked at the range of available coffees, and thought I'd try something different - so went for the Mocha. Unfortunately I'd never heard it said out loud, so asked for a 'Motcha'.

I've never been sneered at from so many angles by the entire staff of a place. Still gives me the shivers just thinking about it.

I had heard of Cajun food and thought it clearly looked like a Spanish word. Had to point at the menu when the waitress had no idea what "Cahoon chicken" was.

[Ian]

:D


You can always fight back against the jocks by asking them to say the name Carl. No, not Carol, Carl.

I've genuinely had to stop somebody mid-anecdote one day to ask which name they were saying, had them say 'Carl' then 'Carol' and got them to the point where even they weren't quite sure of the difference in how they said the two.

Did derail the anecdote a bit.

[Baz]

I sneer at people who mispronounce Southwell and Naas.

[Shindig]

Chichester, South Shields has a stupid, appropriate Geordie pronunciation.

[niko_cee]

Chy-cheast-ah [man]?

[Ben]

I've heard multiple different ways of pronouncing Cirencester.

[Ian]

It's telling that just typing 'chichester south' in Google then prompted me for 'chichester south shields pronunciation.'

Is it just that the first syllable rhymes with tie?

[Shindig]

Yep. First time I heard it, I thought there was some serious piss-taking going on.

[Raoul Duke]

Went to a place in Cornwall called 'Mousehole' which is pronounced 'Mow'-(as in how now brown cow) -'zul'.

[Ian]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nm-g0NGE9W8

This chat just reminded me of Bobby De Niro pronouncing Hereford a couple of minutes into this.

[niko_cee]

One of the most egregious mispronunciations in history that one, given the context in which he's grilling Bean.

[Manc]

"Oh fuck off". Classic Bean. What film is it?

[Ian]

Ronin.

I didn't think it was very good when I saw it but that must be at least ten years ago now. Probably more.

[Disco]

Great car chase in Ronin plus Sean Bean shouting about raspberry jam.

[Baz]

Got a new bathroom fitted and was told to leave it to "set" until this morning. Had a shower this morning, all good. Ran a bath for my daughter and the hot and cold taps were the wrong way round (not as in I'm pedantic about right and left but the blue one was hot water and the red one was cold). Then tested the bathroom taps and the hot tap produced cold water and the hot tap did nothing. :moop:

They've just left, after coming to fix the "snags" and said right we're done so I went to check it and the bath taps were now correct but the sink taps were still the wrong way round, albeit both working.

Dead good. They've also definitely stolen my [only] screwdrivers.

[Spikey M]

I probably wouldn't employ a workman that needed my tools in the first place tbh.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Up there they'll steal anything just for the sake of it.

[Baz]

I probably wouldn't employ a workman that needed my tools in the first place tbh.

I’d just left them on the windowsill in the room they’d stored everything, cos I’d be changing some window handles.

[Pepe]

Getting the 'Got it, thanks' email reply. Fuck off with your one button replies, you cunt. Write something for me.

[Ian]

Thanks, Pep.

[Pepe]

You're welcome!

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Enjoy the holidays.

[Giggles]

Have today off because of the NFL but now I discover the wife has a day off today too, so now I can’t sit around in a bath robe watching YouTube all day.

[niko_cee]

"YouTube"

[Manc]

Imagine a relationship in which that's not communicated.

[Giggles]

Imagine one where it would have to be.

[Raoul Duke]

I would just do what I'd planned to do anyway

[Giggles]

I destroyed my knee hiking on Saturday and it’s worse today than it was yesterday so I can do fuck all anyway.

[Boydy]

You went hiking? Get some nice photos for your instagram, did you?

[Spikey M]

You've finally accepted that he does indeed have Instagram, but now you can't accept that he walks?

[Giggles]

I don’t think he has accepted I have Instagram yet.

[Boydy]

It just seems out of character for the curmudgeonly image I have in my head.

[Pepe]

Giggles used to believe (or still believes?) that I was a hipster because I rode a bicycle. My man is making "the most epic beef chilli the other day from dried passillas and anchos with beef that was reared in the field beside me" and also makes his own craft beer and (presumably) posts it all in his Instagram account, but I am the hipster.

[Giggles]

Buying local (not the chillies) isn’t really hipster. That said, I definitely had you wrong and it wasn’t all to do with the bike.

Nobody sees my beer outside the homebrew group chat because it’s mostly shite. I never actually post anything on my Instagram.

[Don]

It very much is.

[Pepe]

Hey, don't get me wrong. I would love to try both the chili and the beer.

[Giggles]

It very much is.

It’s just supporting the local economy or doing things myself. I probably actually have a lower “carbon footprint” than people who believe in all that bollocks and don’t wash themselves.

[Giggles]

Hey, don't get me wrong. I would love to try both the chili and the beer.

The chilli was exceptional I must say. I had never added the lime to it and it makes some difference. The beer, not so much.

[phonics]

"The homebrew chat" :loser:

[Giggles]

Do you not have any groups for moon boots or crystal meth or whatever else it is that you’re into?

[phonics]

No. Imagine a cocaine group chat. You’d never be able to keep up with the notifications.

[Don]

It’s just supporting the local economy or doing things myself. I probably actually have a lower “carbon footprint” than people who believe in all that bollocks and don’t wash themselves.

Most hipster behaviour can be said to be 'just...'

Just saving on razors and being lazy
Just putting to use the fruit in my garden
Just saving costs and staying fit
Just enjoying good music
Etc

[Kikó]

Do you not have any groups for moon boots or crystal meth or whatever else it is that you’re into?

Deserves pos rep

[Shindig]

Giggles needs a World Tour of windmills.

[Giggles]

Lighthouses and you’re talking.

[phonics]

Deserves pos rep

Yeah making fun of someone being honest about their lowest moments caused by their drug addiction is the peak of comedy.

[Lewis]

Explains the moon boots.

[Giggles]

You’re not really a nice enough sort to other people to be playing the victim over that.

Anyway you spend most of your time positively glowing about it as far as I’ve seen here so I don’t really get the lowest moment spiel.

[Kikó]

Yeah making fun of someone being honest about their lowest moments caused by their drug addiction is the peak of comedy.

Oh come on, this is the tth.

[Pepe]

The tth half.

[Giggles]

The third tth half.

[Shindig]

Lighthouses and you’re talking.

For some reason my brain grouped them together. They should be lighthouses. With helicopter blades.

[phonics]

You’re not really a nice enough sort to other people to be playing the victim over that.

Thought me and keeks were closer than that low blow. (blow, get it?)

[Lofty]

Wife booked us a trip to Amsterdam as a christmas present, all paid up last year before she realised we were getting a puppy. She contacted Hays Travel about moving the holiday before Christmas due to the change in our circumstances but was rebuffed with a 'we are only looking at holidays changing 14 days befofe departure'. I said that was bollocks so she got back on to them and they tried to say we couldn't change it despite saying otherwise on their ads.

Finally conceded we could but wanted to charge the cost of the holiday again to move the dates. I lolled at that so said we will cancel despite taking a hit, today was the first day it transitioned to losing 70% of the booking price refund from 60% but they took days to come back to us with the changed date prices. Today they said if we want to cancel we lose 90% of the booking price refund :D I am right in thinking I can report these cunts to someone because it seems like their own terms and conditions are absolute bullshit.

[niko_cee]

If you paid on credit card just unleash them on them/make a chargeback claim or whatever it is called.

[Baz]

Just realised my mates leaving do on Thursday is the same night Liverpool play Leicester and Saints play Catalans. :happycry:

6:30 start so might have to wolf my curry down and be home for the second halves.

[igor_balis]

Wet leg are the shittest band of all time, motherfuck six music and the guardian pushing them so hard.

[Don]

The attitude was amusing when I first heard Chaise Longue but you're hardly gonna listen to an album worth of that shite.

[-james-]

I've seen red this morning. Washing machine is fucked and had a repair booked in. Takes about five days to get someone over.

Nobody showed up but a "Call Completion" pdf showed up in my inbox.


Work Done: customer said as far as they know there's nothing wrong with machine. only just moved in.

Looked at the address, it's the wrong fucking flat number.

Did you not think you might have the wrong place you thick cunt?

[-james-]

Trying to charge me £145 again to book another appointment. :harold: :harold: :harold: :harold: :harold:

[Pepe]

:D

Sounds like an honorable company.

[Manc]

This is turning into a feature for The Sun. "Jobless immigrant demands £145! refund for washing machine in perfect working order".

[Don]

I mean this turns on the roots of the incorrect address. If it's your fault, you certainly should be charged.

These Flat X, Y Street addresses really seem to cause a lot of undue confusion (largely due to IT systems) with them taking it as Flat Y.

[Jimmy Floyd]

I live at number 2A (which has its own street level front door) and delivery men etc are always completely flummoxed by this. Either I get the chicken chow mein meant for other houses, or they get mine.

[-james-]

I have no idea where they got the flat number that they tried to attend, it doesn't appear anywhere else in the address. They had it on my account already so they're also spastics for not confirming it with it at any point in the booking process. It doesn't even appear in any of the confirmation emails they sent me before the fact.

Hotpoint btw. :dc:

[Boydy]

My nextdoor neighbour's been using some sort of power tool every day for about the last two weeks. Apparently they've got builders in next week too. Ffs.

[Spikey M]

They've been kneecapping Someone for 2 weeks?

[Boydy]

I think they're ripping out their kitchen and also extending it.

[Spikey M]

We're doing that next year. Ask them how much for us.

[Lewis]

My friend once started seeing the woman in the flat above, and then when he broke it off she would go to work (working night shifts) and leave her dildo buzzing away on the hard floor.

[Ben]

I'm all about that type of petty behaviour.

[Pepe]

:lol:

[igor_balis]

My friend once started seeing the woman in the flat above, and then when he broke it off she would go to work (working night shifts) and leave her dildo buzzing away on the hard floor.

Jesus, that's just about the worst example of shitting where you eat I've ever heard. Was she fit at least?

[Lewis]

Not really.

[Baz]

Was it the all blacks guy?

[Giggles]

Trying to get someone out to fix slates is going to be fun.

[niko_cee]

There was a 6 month backlog on roofing over here before all these storms so christ knows how emergency repairs are being dealt with.

[Lewis]

Was it the all blacks guy?

It wasnt. He's onto his second black wife now, which is more black women than I've ever met without him present (in the wild, if you will).

[Boydy]

That TV Plus shit is back on my Samsung TV. I swear it had gone away for a while.

:mad:

[Giggles]

Mine morphed into something called Ratuken TV.

[Baz]

LG ftw

[Giggles]

LG ftw

With that UI?

[Ben]

Panasonic :thbup:

[Baz]

With that UI?

I like it. Got all my apps lined up on the Home Screen and binned off any I don’t use. Really handy.

And no rakuten.

[Giggles]

It’s like it was designed with crayons. And Rakuten is fine because I watched Draft Day (which is terrible but Jennifer Garner is in it) the other day.

[igor_balis]

Just had the archetypal "you shouldn't be in a customer facing role" interaction. Go to bar, and ask for a pint of lemonade (fizzy drinks :cool:) and an orange juice for my mate. She looked pretty stern anyway but proceeded to go

WELL WHAT, AN ORANGE JUICE? how MUCH orange juice?? A pint?? A small one??

Awkwardly confirmed with friend that he was having a pint of orange juice, then she totally incomprehensibly questioned whether I meant a pint of lemonade and a pint of orange juice, or a pint of them both combined. Wot? Proper snatched my tenner out of my hand as well. Idiot.

[Don]

That lemonade and orange shit is a common order amongst some paedophiles tbf.

[Lewis]

Yeah get a normal drink you wacky wank.

[Giggles]

She should have barred both of you.

[Lofty]

Postman's handwriting. Anyone decipher the penultimate letter here because fucked if I can:

https://i.ibb.co/q7qWpCh/20220305-112703.jpg

[phonics]

S

Edit: penultimate whoops. It’s an L or an e.

[Don]

Yeah, looks same as earlier e. e84e-and a probable s is my guess.

[Baz]

m8 lols

He’s done you there.

[Lofty]

Computer says no, and that wasn't an earlier 'e' it was the end of a buggered 4.

[igor_balis]

e8lees?

[Shindig]

84cr?

[Ben]

b8rez?

He was trying to save time.

[SvN]

That's a top reference.

[Danny]

48402

[Spikey M]

b8rez?

He was trying to save time.

:D

[Don]

Ah, in which case I'll go for 4843.

[Lofty]

The example code suggests the format ends with two letters, I tried your suggestions but it immediately batted it back as not fitting the format. Going to have to go the sorting office on Monday, handily open 8am-10am :moop:

[Don]

484ls
484lr

Just the 676 combos to try.

[Lewis]

The best thing about going to the post depot is having them act like they're doing you a favour. The only upside is that it very rarely has queues, unlike the post office, which is always full of pensioners wasting what little time they have left.

[-james-]

The last two letters are GB.

[Lofty]

The last two letters are GB.

Winner. Same as the example, funnily enough. That's never a G he has written down, though.

[Shindig]

What a shit round of Wordle that was.

[Ian]

Giggles is going to think I'm some Mahow-esque fibber but I got today's in two.

Fucking suck it, Wordle.

[Shindig]

Done in 4 which is just my normal rate.

[Giggles]

Giggles is going to think I'm some Mahow-esque fibber but I got today's in two.

Fucking suck it, Wordle.

:D

I got it in my all too common 5. Mahow got it in -2 last night before it came out.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Winner. Same as the example, funnily enough. That's never a G he has written down, though.

The last two letters on royal mail tracking numbers are always GB.

The sort of thrilling knowledge that I exist to dispense.

[niko_cee]

Is there a go to start word everyone uses with those wordle things? The wife seems to go for 'about' much of the time due to its high vowel content. I guess 'adieu' would be the macdaddy word for that purpose if it is allowed.

I reckon those 9 letter word cube things are much more fun if you want to do wordy challenges.

[Shindig]

I just pick one at random. I'll also just burn a word just to get more letters off the board.

[Ben]

‘Audio’ is a good one to get the vowels in but it omits two of the most common letters: S and E. I usually start with ‘super’ or ‘shame’.

[Spikey M]

Is there a go to start word everyone uses with those wordle things? The wife seems to go for 'about' much of the time due to its high vowel content. I guess 'adieu' would be the macdaddy word for that purpose if it is allowed.

I reckon those 9 letter word cube things are much more fun if you want to do wordy challenges.

Adieu does work and I suggest you try it today. :D

[Ian]

Ooh, adieu is a good one. I use 'irate' for similar vowel-clearing purposes.

[Giggles]

I pick the first word that comes into my head every morning. GREAT today, which was no use.

[niko_cee]

Adieu does work and I suggest you try it today. :D

Why, is it scoop or something?

I'm only allowed to look at them as a wordler of last resort.

[Manc]

Penis.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

:D

I got it in my all too common 5. Mahow got it in -2 last night before it came out.

Three today.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Is there a go to start word everyone uses with those wordle things? The wife seems to go for 'about' much of the time due to its high vowel content. I guess 'adieu' would be the macdaddy word for that purpose if it is allowed.

I reckon those 9 letter word cube things are much more fun if you want to do wordy challenges.
Trace for me.

[Jimmy Floyd]

I start with 'satin'. Don't overlook the humble consonants.

[Don]

LIGHT, YOURS and DANCE are my first 3 guesses without fail (except when it was LIGHT and I got it in 2 obvs). I'm about consistency and avoiding disaster, not chasing the 2s and 3s.

[randomlegend]

I saw a youtube thumbnail for a video titled something along the lines of "the BEST way to solve wordle, PROVEN with MATHS and SCIENCE" and crane was the word in the thumbnail so I've used that the few times I've done it. I got this one in 3.