The Late Night Thread

[John]

Pigs in blankets are Christmas food here for no good reason. I'd eat a hundred a day all year but they only turn up in shops at the start of December. They're not close to sausage rolls though.

The pastry used in pot pies is the same stuff used in the best sausage rolls too so it is a genuine mystery why they haven't been embraced in the same way.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Puff is amazing.

Also, 'casseroles' in America look like cat vomit.

[Giggles]

Puff is amazing.

Also, 'casseroles' in America look like cat vomit.

Tastes OK but it's too fucking messy.

[Dark Soldier]

Do you eat pizza with a fork and knife mert? Jesus Christ lad.

[Danny]

Pigs in blankets are Christmas food here for no good reason. I'd eat a hundred a day all year but they only turn up in shops at the start of December. They're not close to sausage rolls though.

The pastry used in pot pies is the same stuff used in the best sausage rolls too so it is a genuine mystery why they haven't been embraced in the same way.

Pretty sure Mert means these pigs in blankets. Although having spent time in England he may not be

https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/c/c2/American_pigs_in_blankets.jpg/500px-American_pigs_in_blankets.jpg

[Lewis]

I asked for a fork and knife in a burger place the other week, and the lad gave me a load of grief like I was disrespecting his art. It's a burger, chief. Get over yourself.

[John]

He better not mean that or he can find something else to call them. Pigs in blankets are cocktail sausages or chipolatas wrapped in bacon, not a hot dog sausage rammed through a croissant.

[Dark Soldier]

To be fair you should've been kicked out for that nonsense. I refuse a fork and knife where possible at home. Gravy/mash/Peas/beans/soup require one, the rest of the other stuff I eat, full caveman.

EDIT: @HILLSBRO

[Dark Soldier]

He better not mean that or he can find something else to call them. Pigs in blankets are cocktail sausages or chipolatas wrapped in bacon, not a hot dog sausage rammed through a croissant.

They're proper sausages wrapped in bacon round here. Brown sauce to hold the bacon to the sausage. Next level.

[Lewis]

To be fair you should've been kicked out for that nonsense. I refuse a fork and knife where possible at home. Gravy/mash/Peas/beans/soup require one, the rest of the other stuff I eat, full caveman.

EDIT: @HILLSBRO

It's a new hipster pub in Hull (City of Culture, mate), within which some ponce with an ironic beard churns out elaborate burgers. I would have asked anyway, because I have a div complex about greasy hands, but this came with the added benefit of annoying him.

[Dark Soldier]

Anything to fuck with a hipster. Fair play. I miss the local 7 patty effort for £10. No idea what the meat actually was, damn near broke my jaw attempting it sans fork and knife.

[John]

They're proper sausages wrapped in bacon round here. Brown sauce to hold the bacon to the sausage. Next level.

That's just a fry up gone wrong. They have to be bitesize or what's the point?

[Bartholomert]

Meat pies are self-contained. Pot pies are stews with lids on. FRAUDS, if you will. There is money to be made in savoury pastries if the law profession is too Jewish for your liking.

I think you're right. Srs.

[Dark Soldier]

That's just a fry up gone wrong. They have to be bitesize or what's the point?

They taste delicious done right. You're missing out mate.

Bonus points if you wrap a full Cumberland.

[John]

They taste delicious done right. You're missing out mate.

Bonus points if you wrap a full Cumberland.

I'm sure they do. It's a sausage and it's bacon, you could leave them a day and smother them in HP Fruit Sauce and the quality would still shine through, but a pig in a blanket is what it is, and it isn't a fucking Cumberland wrapped in eight packs of bacon, as great as that would be.

[Spikey M]

To be fair you should've been kicked out for that nonsense. I refuse a fork and knife where possible at home. Gravy/mash/Peas/beans/soup require one, the rest of the other stuff I eat, full caveman.

EDIT: @HILLSBRO

Eating soup with a fork and knife is a step too far. Maybe a spork.

[7om]

After reading this last page I really want a sausage roll and have no way of getting one. Bastards.

[Lewis]

Make some.

[Dark Soldier]

I'm sure they do. It's a sausage and it's bacon, you could leave them a day and smother them in HP Fruit Sauce and the quality would still shine through, but a pig in a blanket is what it is, and it isn't a fucking Cumberland wrapped in eight packs of bacon, as great as that would be.

Stick to your deep fried haggis ya Scottish mental, let the big boys handle this.

[Foe]

Deep fried haggis, i.e. haggis balls, are fucking amazing, so I'm not really sure that worked.

[Danny]

He better not mean that or he can find something else to call them. Pigs in blankets are cocktail sausages or chipolatas wrapped in bacon, not a hot dog sausage rammed through a croissant.

Yeah, I know that. I usually end up educating them on the real ones.

[Dark Soldier]

Deep fried haggis, i.e. haggis balls, are fucking amazing, so I'm not really sure that worked.

That's you on the list too.

[Alex]

I asked for a fork and knife in a burger place the other week, and the lad gave me a load of grief like I was disrespecting his art. It's a burger, chief. Get over yourself.


It's a new hipster pub in Hull (City of Culture, mate), within which some ponce with an ironic beard churns out elaborate burgers. I would have asked anyway, because I have a div complex about greasy hands, but this came with the added benefit of annoying him.

I went to similar place in Leeds a couple of months ago, staffed by similarly shit-beard-having wankers, where they didn't even have plates. They put all the burgers on a tray in the middle and then brought out a kitchen roll in lieu of actual, proper eating surfaces. I assume for a more "authentic" experience, or some such nonsense.

I also couldn't buy a pint of fucking lager either. My options where either one of those shit little BrewDog cans (which on reflection should have been my first major hint at the wankery to come), a 2/3 of a pint glass or a pitcher. Tossers.

[Sam]

Battered chips > all

The Black Country's contribution to the art of food.

[Alex]

Battered chips you say? That's a new one to me, but it sounds ace.

It was recently brought to my attention by a girl at work that where she's from (I want to say Wigan, or somewhere around that way) putting a pie inside a bread cake and eating it is a thing. Which fascinated me. Can anyone confirm that?

[Adamski]

No idea what a bread cake is but pie in a roll is pretty commonplace.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Bread cake :cab:

Fucking Northerners.

[Lewis]

Battered chips you say? That's a new one to me, but it sounds ace.

It was recently brought to my attention by a girl at work that where she's from (I want to say Wigan, or somewhere around that way) putting a pie inside a bread cake and eating it is a thing. Which fascinated me. Can anyone confirm that?

Wigan kebab.

[Giggles]

Want.

[Alex]

Wigan kebab.

That would definitely seem to be it.

http://thumbsnap.com/sc/NpHH4yTe.jpg

Amazing. :D

[SvN]

Battered chips > all

The Black Country's contribution to the art of food.

Without a doubt. The biggest thing I miss about the midlands.

[Dark Soldier]

Meat pie in a bap lad. Douse it in gravy if you're feeling wild.

[Alex]

Meat pie in a bap lad. Douse it in gravy if you're feeling wild.

Well, this is definitely happening at some point in the near future.

[Boydy]

Battered chips sound awful.

[SvN]

Fucking incredible :drool:

http://ichef.bbci.co.uk/live-experience/cps/704/cpsprodpb/vivo/live/images/2016/6/3/e9485255-acf6-416f-ad6c-9638316efe60.jpg

[Dark Soldier]

Our local chippy does 'em. The scraps too :drool:

[Giggles]

Very few foods exist that aren't improved by batter.

[John]

The Chinese closest to me batters its 'salt and chilli' chips, which are amazing, but I've never had normal battered chips.

Stick a Scotch pie in a roll and fill the little recess on the top with beans, then put a handful of strong grated cheddar on top. You'll go numb down one side within about ten minutes of finishing it but it's well worth the heart attack.

[Disco]

Battered chips sound awful.

They aren't bad (I tried someone else's) but the issue is you're likely getting them with something that's already battered which is a bit much.

[Jimmy Floyd]

These Baftas are hilarious. The last, desperate screech of the Luvvie Nation.

[Spikey M]

That would definitely seem to be it.

http://thumbsnap.com/sc/NpHH4yTe.jpg

Amazing. :D

:lol: There was me thinking a 'Kiev Sandwich' was the peak of poverty.

[Baz]

It was recently brought to my attention by a girl at work that where she's from (I want to say Wigan, or somewhere around that way) putting a pie inside a bread cake and eating it is a thing. Which fascinated me. Can anyone confirm that?Ayo! o/

You can't beat a pie barm.

[Giggles]

Barm?

[Disco]

What does the bread roll bring to the meal? I mean apart from yet more starch/carbs on the plate.

[Baz]

Barm?As in barm cake.

[Giggles]

What does it bring to any meal? Why make any sandwich? You could just eat your ham and cheese off a plate.

[Giggles]

As in barm cake.

Is a pie in a cake a different different thing or are you calling a bread roll/bap a cake?

[Baz]

I'm calling a "bread roll" a barm cake.

Whereas in real life a bread roll is one of those hard ones that there are basket and baskets of on package holidays, that you have with soup.

And baps are breasts.

https://media.giphy.com/media/d3mlE7uhX8KFgEmY/source.gif

[Giggles]

Goons here have stupid names for them too like blaa, but bread still isn't cake.

[Disco]

What does it bring to any meal? Why make any sandwich? You could just eat your ham and cheese off a plate.

It brings bread to your ham and cheese. The plate in that picture already had chips, pastry, and possibly potato inside the pie. At this point it's basically all starchy carbs, why not go all the way and add some pasta and rice while we're at it

[Giggles]

It brings bread to your ham and cheese. The plate in that picture already had chips, pastry, and possibly potato inside the pie. At this point it's basically all starchy carbs, why not go all the way and add some pasta and rice while we're at it

You're saying that like starchy carbs aren't nice.

[Kikó]

It's this
http://i.imgur.com/Arhisoj.jpg


http://i.dailymail.co.uk/i/pix/2013/12/05/article-2518450-19DAE96600000578-44_634x449.jpg

My posts from pre-season and my trip to Wigan.

[Disco]

They're fine but you need a mixture of stuff to balance it out, that's the entire logic behind a pie in the first place. That looks like having a toast and potato sandwich.

[Giggles]

They're fine but you need a mixture of stuff to balance it out, that's the entire logic behind a pie in the first place. That looks like having a toast and potato sandwich.

A toast and potato sandwich wouldn't be nice though (unless the potatoes were chips). If you're talking about what you need anyway then you're having a salad with some nuts and seeds instead of the pie and chips in the first place. Some people eat for taste.

[Disco]

Roasting and eating a chicken with nothing else is still nice but a proper roast with potatoes/veg/gravy/yorkshires/whatever floats your boat is better. Isn't it? All the bits complement each other. All I see on that plate is dry, relatively flavourless bread and starch, there's no balance.

Fine if you like that kind of thing but it seems a pointless addition to me.

[Giggles]

Roasting and eating a chicken with nothing else is still nice but a proper roast with potatoes/veg/gravy/yorkshires/whatever floats your boat is better. Isn't it? All the bits complement each other. All I see on that plate is dry, relatively flavourless bread and starch, there's no balance.

The inside of the pie is wet. If you're eating for balance then you're not eating chips anyway.

[Dark Soldier]

Only a mentalist calls it a barm cake. Its just a barm ya yuppie twat.

[Disco]

Three 'dry' to one 'wet', it's out of whack. If you're going to do that to your food you might as well move to Scotland and be done with it.

[Baz]

Only a mentalist calls it a barm cake. Its just a barm ya yuppie twat.I said barm. :dc:

I usually say bun, mind.

[Baz]

Three 'dry' to one 'wet', it's out of whack. If you're going to do that to your food you might as well move to Scotland and be done with it.You don't have a pie barm with chips. You just have a pie barm. Dunno what's going on in that pic.

And the barm is heavily buttered so it's far from dry, especially when the insides of the pie oozes out. :drool:

[Lewis]

Even pie and chips can become a bit death by stodge if the gravy isn't flowing, so yeah, lol at whatever that is.

[Giggles]

I forgot you all put gravy on chips over there.

[Boydy]

I forgot you all put gravy on chips over there.

You don't?

[Disco]

Certainly not.

[Giggles]

You don't?

I had it up your way before from a Chinese (gravy chips with peas and onions is almost your national dish at this stage) but that's better gravy than anything they serve up on the mainland. The English, especially north, seem mad for it though. You wouldn't really get it in Ireland, not even in a Chinese.

[John]

Chips and gravy from a Chinese? You shouldn't be allowed teeth.

[Jimmy Floyd]

I've only realised in the last year or so that I don't think I even have the same idea of what gravy is that northerners do.

[Giggles]

Chips and gravy from a Chinese? You shouldn't be allowed teeth.

There's not a chip shop or Chinese in Northern Ireland that doesn't sell gravy chips. You don't ask for the peas and onions either, you have to ask them to leave them out.

You'll actually see it on the list of sauces on a northy Chinese menu, meaning that it's a viable option on a chicken fried rice or anything.

[Reg]

I'd eat chips in gravy occasionally if that was the only allowed way to eat chips, but I don't really get why you'd choose you make something crispy soggy.

[Lewis]

Any gravy worth a wank would be thick enough to barely soak into the chips, so that wouldn't be a problem.

[GS]

These Baftas are hilarious. The last, desperate screech of the Luvvie Nation.

830925443033362435

The state of this.

[Magic]

Ken Loach is such a tiring cunt. Fuck him and his shit films.

Wide awake now as kid isn't well. Just what I need after an exhausting weekend and huge job tomorrow.

Edit: yes just what she needs as well I'm a terrible father etc

[Jimmy Floyd]

Any gravy worth a wank would be thick enough to barely soak into the chips, so that wouldn't be a problem.

I think of gravy as a thin, flavoursome liquid you pour over roasts. Northerners seem to have this totally different concoction which tastes of shit, is packed out with flour, slides over its subject like flubber rather than mixing in, and forms the essential brown goo of the northern soul.

[Boydy]

I had it up your way before from a Chinese (gravy chips with peas and onions is almost your national dish at this stage) but that's better gravy than anything they serve up on the mainland. The English, especially north, seem mad for it though. You wouldn't really get it in Ireland, not even in a Chinese.

It's so fucking good. One of the few things I missed about back here when I lived over there.

I'm told you can get proper gravy up north in England though.

[Boydy]

I think of gravy as a thin, flavoursome liquid you pour over roasts. Northerners seem to have this totally different concoction which tastes of shit, is packed out with flour, slides over its subject like flubber rather than mixing in, and forms the essential brown goo of the northern soul.
Yeah the gravy you put on your roast should be thinner (although not too thin) but you shouldn't be putting the thin stuff on chips.

There's a place for both.

[Kikó]

I think of gravy as a thin, flavoursome liquid you pour over roasts. Northerners seem to have this totally different concoction which tastes of shit, is packed out with flour, slides over its subject like flubber rather than mixing in, and forms the essential brown goo of the northern soul.

Just packed with wrongness. The post, not gravy.

[Jimmy Floyd]

No doubt you have to call it jus anglais when recounting your embattled childhood to your smug new friends.

[Adamski]

There's not a chip shop or Chinese in Northern Ireland that doesn't sell gravy chips. You don't ask for the peas and onions either, you have to ask them to leave them out.

You'll actually see it on the list of sauces on a northy Chinese menu, meaning that it's a viable option on a chicken fried rice or anything.

They have gravy as an option in most Chineses here too. No idea what Johns on about.

[phonics]

Same in Wales.

[Kikó]

No doubt you have to call it jus anglais when recounting your embattled childhood to your smug new friends.

Ah they do chortle when I tell them about eating pot noodles and playing cricket on the street. They wonder at me like I'm some Dickensian character.

[Sam]

Without a doubt. The biggest thing I miss about the midlands.

That, proper pork scratchings and Banks' Bitter.

Going to have all three this weekend, home sweet home.

[Pepe]

Speaking about gravy is not inclusive to us non-brits you insensitive twats.

[Disco]

Fuck off then.

[Dark Soldier]

I emailed Peperami comparing their snacks to Trump and now they've replied asking for my email. I'm expecting the CIA at any moment.

[Boydy]

In what way did you compare them?

[Dark Soldier]

Just said that they're orange and despite them being awful for you they're just so much fun.. They're sending me free Tex-Mex, fucking result.

https://i.gyazo.com/82ea36b32a92efb742ce138cf80017af.png

[Mazuuurk]

I've google Peprami and I'm wondering why anyone would eat anything like that.

And their mascot or logo or whatever looks like an angry version of Mr Hanky.

[Dark Soldier]

I've google Peprami and I'm wondering why anyone would eat anything like that.

Because as stated, they're delicious but horrific. A drug style snack. Filthy takeaway kebabs in stick form.

[Lewis]

You had better be keeping a healthy, balanced diet, otherwise you're just ripping them off.

[Disco]

I'd be willing to bet that the Pepperami mascot thing pre-dates Mr Hankey.

[Dark Soldier]

You had better be keeping a healthy, balanced diet, otherwise you're just ripping them off.

I'm going after French Fries crisps next.

[John]

They have gravy as an option in most Chineses here too. No idea what Johns on about.

I'm on about it being the worst possible thing you could buy from a Chinese. Of course it's an option, but the simple fact that it's available isn't a defence against buying it.

[Lewis]

I'm going after French Fries crisps next.

Scam us a box. :drool:

[Adamski]

I'm on about it being the worst possible thing you could buy from a Chinese. Of course it's an option, but the simple fact that it's available isn't a defence against buying it.

Worse than the chicken maryland or an omelette?

[John]

Worse than the chicken maryland or an omelette?

Yes.

[Baz]

I'm about to put a face mask on. :handbags:

[Disco]

The one near me does 'hot and sour soup' which I've never been brave enough to try but does sound worse than chips with what is essentially a sauce.

[Disco]

I'm about to put a face mask on. :handbags:

Valentines treat for the wife? :henn0rz:

[Raoul Duke]

You spelt 'gimp' wrong

[Shindig]

It's probably some Eyes Wide Shut thing where he wears Mike's face to bed.

[Boydy]

The one near me does 'hot and sour soup' which I've never been brave enough to try but does sound worse than chips with what is essentially a sauce.

Hot and sour soup is actually pretty nice.

So are gravy chips though. They're not authentic Chinese or anything but who gives a fuck? If you're going to your local greasy takeaway, the other stuff is hardly authentic either.

[Spikey M]

No need, I reckon they wife swap. And by wife swap I mean Mike shags Mrs Baz then gives him a hand job.

[Boydy]

You still shouldn't swirl it all together on your plate like Sama though.

[Giggles]

The Chinese gravy is the top gravy too. They use dried blood I it and it turns to jelly if you let it go cold :drool:

[Lewis]

The Yellow Peril here do top, top gravy. It must have some absolute filth in it, but whatever.

[Dark Soldier]

Aye my local chippy is a Chinese. Their English menu is 10x better than their Rat Chow Mein and other shite.

[Adamski]

The Yellow Peril here do top, top gravy. It must have some absolute filth in it, but whatever.

Yellow peril :D

Massive fan of intentional self afflicting racism.

[Lewis]

The shop is called Silver Star. I meant the people making it without breaks (or passports).

[Mazuuurk]

Because as stated, they're delicious but horrific. A drug style snack. Filthy takeaway kebabs in stick form.

Hmm. I'm intrigued.

[Magic]

The Yellow Peril here do top, top gravy. It must have some absolute filth in it, but whatever.

There's an infamous Leeds fan who is an incestual paedophile that went by that Moniker.

[Dark Soldier]

They're sending me free Riesen chocolate now. This is the fucking future.

[Jimmy Floyd]

I'll tweet a food company a day linking a product I like to an unfashionable politician.

'Oi, Tunnock's, those tea cakes are bit Nigel Farage'

[wullie]

Still nothing for Pol Pot Noodle.

[Dark Soldier]

I called Riesen the Obama of confectionery, and Daim the Trump. It works lads, vague political comments, free stuff.

Gonna call Heinz the Hitler of beans later.

[Reg]

:D

The 'have a nice day' from Peperami kinda read like a passive-aggressive 'fuck you'.

[Lewis]

https://s7.postimg.org/3oa46k84b/Photo0463.jpg

Their other dog died, so we've got him to stop him getting depressed or some stupid new age shit. I bought him a new heater today and it isn't working, so I'm going to go back to Argos and Angle Slam the entire shop.

[Boydy]

What does he need a heater for? He looks like he overheats just walking to his food bowl.

[Lewis]

He sleeps in the kitchen, and it gets a bit cold at night.

[Disco]

A heater. :lol:

[Pepe]

Just cuddle with him.

[Lewis]

His snoring would keep me awake.

[Dark Soldier]

That were bloody quick

http://i.imgur.com/6DqwWuK.jpg

[Boydy]

Are you tweeting at them or what?

[SvN]

A fucking heater to cheer up a dog :D

[John]

If it's one of those electric space heaters you'll just end up with a twelve grand bill and a house that stinks of singed fur.

[Lewis]

It's to keep him warm. Being here cheers him up.

[Dark Soldier]

Are you tweeting at them or what?

Go onto their websites, customer feedback, make up some shit, see if they'll send ya stuff.

[Adamski]

It's to keep him warm. Being here cheers him up.

His other home must be hellish.

[SvN]

Speaking of dogs, we move into our house in a week or so, and I can't wait to get our own dog. I've wanted a dog since I was about 9.

[John]

Got a particular breed in mind?

[Disco]

I'm still amused by the heater, you know he's not a reptile right?

[SvN]

Not really, but not too massive. The plan is to go to a rescue shelter and just be open minded.

[Giggles]

Get a fanny licker like Leeds has.

[Dark Soldier]

Not really, but not too massive. The plan is to go to a rescue shelter and just be open minded.

Get a Dog de Bordeaux Mastiff cross. Thick as fuck, look intimidating but soft as shit.

http://www.doggish.com.au/assets/12898_750.jpg

[Pepe]

What's so hard to understand about a heater? It is cold, so he'll use a heater. So that it stops being cold.

[Giggles]

We're not reptiles but like fuck am I sitting without heat on these days.

[Disco]

A fat dog does not need a heater, just shelter. It would be fine outside all year round.

[Lewis]

He would be 'fine' sitting on the floor and not eating ice cream, but why not make his life a happier one?

[Disco]

I read today that sales of Red Bull last year were upwards of £40billion. That sounds unbelievably high, do they make stuff that doesn't taste like sick that I'm just not aware of?

[Jimmy Floyd]

It's the fuel that keeps aggressive tosspots going.

[Offshore Toon]

I'd imagine most of that is from jagerbombs.

[Giggles]

The brand or the company? Presumably they make most of the cheaper brands that taste the same too.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

It's the fuel needed to keep camgirls going.

[Giggles]

Is that not heroin?

[Adamski]

Is that not heroin?

I think you're confusing heroin with the tears of fat virgins.

[Lewis]

Being sustained by their tears would suggest a degree of emotional attachment.

[Raoul Duke]

I think you're confusing heroin with the tears of fat virgins.

* jizz

[Manc]

First Saturday without plans in yonks and I'm struggling for ideas

Trainspotting and a sly indoor smoke may be on the cards.

[Lewis]

I tried it on with the sword shop lads in York today, and one told me 'Of course they're (Japanese swords) rubbish. I couldn't sell you a sharpened broadsword THAT I COULD DISEMBOWEL YOU WITH!' Chillax, lad. I see what you mean. I also went to the House of Trembling Madness, which was crap and full of the sort of people who have 'Swears too much' or 'Tea drinker' in their Twitter biographies, but we were fortunate in that the queue only started forming behind us. You would be seething if you waited forty minutes for a seat.

[Pepe]

What did you have?

[Dark Soldier]

Sausage, mash and mushy peas if he was any sort of man.

[Lewis]

What did you have?

I had a milk, which they lolled at and refused to charge me for. Mugs. :cool:

[Spikey M]

Why are you 'trying it on' with lads in a sword shop, Lew? Have I missed some kind of coming out?

[Lewis]

Obviously.

[Offshore Toon]

https://www.facebook.com/archbishopduncanwilliams/videos/vb.81348477963/10154996663112964/?type=2&theater

This is so good.

[Dquincy]

A vulture’s digestive tract can easily handle the bubonic plague, rabies, distemper, anthrax, and most all other evil, little, biological nasties that threaten other forms of life on Earth.

[Adamski]

Quite late with the old posting last night Quinc. How was that commute with limited sleep?

[Dquincy]

Quite late with the old posting last night Quinc. How was that commute with limited sleep?

Mini John, you're obsessed man.

[Adamski]

Bit harsh. Just trying to spark some conversation and get you involved so you don't leave us.

What did you have for lunch?

[Dquincy]

Don't be a scroat.

[Adamski]

Hey it's your lunch hour. Eat what you like.

[Dquincy]

Hey it's your lunch hour. Eat what you like.

I was actually posting that whilst taking a dump.

[Foe]

Tried to put my jumper on whilst wearing a backpack today.

Why can't I do normal things :(

[Magic]

Three posts that sum the board up

[igor_balis]

My burd just invited the group chat to the pub. Problem being that the pub is in a village 3 miles out of town, and they're there to celebrate the life of her grandfather. Me and my mate decided that gatecrashing a wake full of wasted old Irish blokes would be entirely inappropriate. I don't think she's thought it through.

So now I'm drinking whisky and listening to Scott Walker. Scott Walker, lads, yay or nay? I quite like him, but can see why people would hate him. x

[igor_balis]

actually nah he's quality and fuck you if you disagree


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eKtZf62BQzM

[Giggles]

What's the 'group chat'. Is that 2017 speak for her friends?

[Adamski]

I think it's about 2014 speak Grandpa.

[Giggles]

Probably.

[Baz]

Obvious yeah but that's literally the only song I know. It is an absolute banger though.

[igor_balis]

It's just useful shorthand Giggles me old mucker. I thought by specifying "group chat" it informed any eager readers that it was an invitation sent

a) on social media
b) to a group of people

"THE" group chat also implies it's a fairly tightly knit group, and not just A group chat. Like the group chat we use specifically to organise board game sessions.

The fact it was done on social media though also makes it pretty clear this is a fairly throwaway thing. If she'd asked just me specifically I'd assume it was a "I need you here, Igor", emotional plea. Likewise if she'd contacted us via telegram or something.

See, all of that depth of meaning condensed into a couple of words. A lot to lose for the petty objective of maintaining linguistic purity.

[Giggles]

Thanks for clearing that up. I'm just glad they're all people she knows.

[igor_balis]

Obvious yeah but that's literally the only song I know. It is an absolute banger though.

I agree. These are pretty boss too:


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J6XPXC-AKZ0


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tLuEhYElzrs


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Jj_C6Rv0HV0

Last one takes a while to get going, but it's possibly my fave.

[Alex]

Scott Walker released an album about ten years ago called The Drift that genuinely scared the shit out of me. I bought it on a whim one day, I believe due to some fairly glowing write-ups, listened to it once and then wouldn't have it in the house after that.

[Giggles]

What do they do?

[Raoul Duke]

Yeah, they're ace. I was into it when I was younger and still follow a couple of Tumblrs just to look at the painting/models.

Still love Dawn Of War the PC game too.

[wullie]

I had Warhammer 40000 but the rule book went into hundreds of pages so I just used to play with the figures as ridiculously expensive equivalents to green army men.

[Lewis]

I used to collect die-cast Corgi vehicles.

[Kikó]

That sentence works well with the avatar.

[Disco]

What do they do?

Drain you of money, time, and patience. In a fun way though.

[Lewis]

When I used to go on my late night mooches around Norwich the Games Workshop used to hold all-nighters for it. I had a look through the window once to investigate, and they all just stood around waiting for me to leave like I was putting them off.

[Disco]

Good lord you don't go in the shop, those lads are a different breed.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

I went into one when I was younger because some of my friends liked Warhammer.

Nerds was being kind to them.

[wullie]

There was a kid at school unanimously regarded as the hardest in the year, he's now a manager at a Games Workshop and apparently was well into it back then too. Dreams can come true.

[Lewis]

You say nerds, but you should have seen the face my friend was pulling the other day as I described my involvement with this place.

'No, it wasn't... I was the cool one. I never warned anyone.'

[Lewis]

thats a blood good joke there mate :rolleyes:

[Lewis]

https://s16.postimg.org/97wehd2g5/FEho_DTq.gif

[igor_balis]

Warhammer is for cool people.

[Spikey M]

I doubt it, it always struck me as being for neckbearded virgins like Mahow. There's no super intimidating female figures, is there?

[Offshore Toon]

What is Warhammer? Some geeky Dungeons and Dragons nonsense like Game Of Thrones?

[igor_balis]

I honestly don't remember posting that. Sorry lads.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

I doubt it, it always struck me as being for neckbearded virgins like Mahow. There's no super intimidating female figures, is there?

Fuck you, there is no neckbeard.

Also, I was never into it.

[Spikey M]

I honestly don't remember posting that. Sorry Mahow.

[igor_balis]

Some bloke cornered me in the toilets of a goth pub last night, and kept aggressively asking me why his account got closed, telling me he wasn't a drug dealer and asking me to take lines of coke. Once I'd recovered, I put 3 KLF songs on in a row on the jukebox to annoy the grebs, then went back to my bird's house and broke up with her. A successful evening.

[Giggles]

That's leedsrevolution levels of mess.

[Lewis]

Steady on.

[Lewis]

BBC2, lads. :nodd:

[Giggles]

I'd love a quid for every time IRA is mentioned on this kip.

[Lewis]

You alright, Francis, lad?

[Giggles]

Just 'enjoying' a night out in the land of hate. It's like home in fairness.

[Boydy]

Are these positive or negative mentions?

[Giggles]

Are these positive or negative mentions?

About 70-30 in favour of signing me up or wanting to know if I aleaady am..

Some old lad in the smoking area just told me to go to fuck home when I said hello which was nice.

[Lewis]

I still have the full set. :cool:

[Lewis]

I only actually bought about five packets as well. My brother nicked loads of them off some lad at school (who couldn't report it, because they were banned on school grounds after some wallies started fighting over them), and then I just swapped/won what I needed.

[Lewis]

Did you miss where I boasted about my collection and used the :cool: face?

[igor_balis]

blackcurrant wanking in the shower

[Offshore Toon]

Came across a bloke last night who was shirtless and starting on absolutely everybody. Well overweight and angrier than I've seen anybody for a while. Anyway, the only actual stand-off was with a taxi, which ended a draw. I kinda wish I'd spoken to him just to find out what he'd been on.

[Baz]

Nicked a light bulb from a building site yesterday. There was about 15 of them lighting the path from the train station to the car park. If I hadn't been with my parents I'd have got as many as I could fit in my pockets.

Screw-in though, so I only really need one, for my outside light.

[Shindig]

I had to replace a bulb the other day. Every room in this flat has a different fitting. Who does that?

[Raoul Duke]

I had to replace a bulb the other day. Every room in this flat has a different fitting. Who does that?

My flat has that - every one is a bayonet. except for the bathroom :moop:

[Shindig]

LED spotlights in the kitchen. There are three different fittings for the bulb types so I had to eyeball it and consult youtube on which one it was likely to be. Plus I have high ceilings. My stepladder just does the job.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D9p7cvjkUAE

How does that have 311m views?

[Raoul Duke]

Parents/kids + people learning English?

[niko_cee]

Toddler crack.

Some of the absolute shite that has hundreds of millions of views on youtube is frankly disgraceful. Take a look at Disney Princess (I think that's the one). Am I right in thinking they are making an absolute mint out of it as well (in addition to all the free crap they get to 'open')?.

[Lewis]

Lads. No posts in ninety minutes. Harold would have had about five arguments on the go.

[igor_balis]

iya Lewis

[Lewis]

Hey mate.

[Disco]

I've got some Maltesers, they really are great.

[Boydy]

I'm pretty bored.

[Lewis]

I like that you posted that, went away for a bit, and then came back to moan about something.

[Spikey M]

Why is Hazza banned? Did he actually do something or did he just cause a seethe by having an unpopular opinion on something?

[Baz]

#unbanHaz

[Mazuuurk]

Can we unban Haz but confine him to the one thread together with Mert? Just them two?

As a social experiment.

[Shindig]

"We'd like to announce our engagement."

[Disco]

Why is Hazza banned? Did he actually do something or did he just cause a seethe by having an unpopular opinion on something?

He went a bit mad after we 'ruined' one of his threads and started spamming the entire place. I think it was repeated alias accounts that did for him in the end.

[Raoul Duke]

That and the fact he was a gigantic bellend

[Kikó]

He's stopped pretending he can post normally and just turbo trolls it. It's strange as he used to be able to talk without video assistance.

[Adamski]

Does anyone follow Very British Problems on whichever medium you prefer?

It's just Jimmy really isn't it?

[Dark Soldier]

I don't, but Crap 90s Football is brilliant.

[Lewis]

Whoever runs that British Problems account is everything wrong with the country (possibly even the Western world). Ooh, aren't we twee and anxious? Not really, mate.

[Magic]

Does anyone follow Very British Problems on whichever medium you prefer?

It's just Jimmy really isn't it?

Like that Ozzy man commentary. For cunts only.

[John]

I don't, but Crap 90s Football is brilliant.

90s Football is great on Facebook. I think I mentioned before, but there are obviously two people running it together with two very different spheres of interest. One of them is basically operating a Gazzetta Football Italia tribute while the other posts pictures of Neil Emblen.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Does anyone follow Very British Problems on whichever medium you prefer?

It's just Jimmy really isn't it?

It's Jord is what it is.

[Lewis]

'Jordan, or Jord; but people say I'm a bit like Mark Corrigan... You know, from Peep Show? So you can call me Mark if you li...'
*party finished an hour ago*

[Offshore Toon]

Woke up around 9 still tired but got up and did stuff. I've been for a 1h40m run. I was exhausted during and especially when I got back around 8, but stuck the football on and just chilled, then started reading but got too tired to concentrate around half 11.

Somehow I'm still awake. I swear my body works on a 28-30 hour day.

[7om]

What you up to now, Offy? You still at Uni in Brighton (was it Brighton?)?

[Offshore Toon]

One month left at Sussex then hopefully stay in Brighton but I'll have to find a job very quickly.

[John]

All action around my street this morning.

Some little twats robbed the shop round the corner of sixty quid worth of cigarettes, then tried to get away in a stolen Range Rover. Being sixteen and Scottish, they were obviously drunk at seven on a Tuesday morning and somehow managed to flip the Range Rover over a parked car about forty yards away. Christ knows how they got the speed up.

So my whole street is now taped off and there's the sort of police response usually only seen for murders.

[Waffdon]

Pretty sure someone's been murdered on the streets of Dundee during the night. Well in, MJ.

[Magic]

Ffs Lawton road I used to stay literally round the corner. Pretty scummy but not murder territory! Probs junkies.

Edit: close call!

[Kikó]

Hope you're both okay at this time.

Will it be safe for me next weekend?

[Magic]

Where are you going?

[Kikó]

Lawton Road.

[Magic]

Nicholls Bakery. :drool:

Was my place of lunch throughout 4th and 5th year when we moved to Rocky.

[Kikó]

Depending on the result tonight, I might try and head to Falkirk with the FIL. Mon the Arabs.

[Ian]

All action around my street this morning.

Some little twats robbed the shop round the corner of sixty quid worth of cigarettes, then tried to get away in a stolen Range Rover. Being sixteen and Scottish, they were obviously drunk at seven on a Tuesday morning and somehow managed to flip the Range Rover over a parked car about forty yards away. Christ knows how they got the speed up.

So my whole street is now taped off and there's the sort of police response usually only seen for murders.

Still, would have been worth it once they sold them at half-price or whatever the going rate is for hooky cigarettes.

[John]

The one who stole the car was trying to sell it for a grand during the night. He's notorious around my area for this sort of shit, but somehow never gets into any real trouble.

[Waffdon]

Depending on the result tonight, I might try and head to Falkirk with the FIL. Mon the Arabs.

Oioi. Dunno how well we're selling tickets but you needed to have a voucher from a season ticket when we got ours.

[Waffdon]

Nicholls Bakery. :drool:

Was my place of lunch throughout 4th and 5th year when we moved to Rocky.


All over someone shagging his Mrs. Proper screwloose. Bird in question is no bad eh. I'm still a faggot and have no idea how to post a photo from my phone.

[Magic]

U wot?