Fuckinghell, she has a penis.

[leedsrevolution]

The embarrassing SEX thread


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IdxDFgnGz-Y&ab_channel=OstenAune

Story time then lads.

I was 16, on a night out in Doncaster. You know, Doncaster:

http://www.visitdoncaster.com/system/uploads/image_content/image/81/desktop_low_res_the_dome.jpg http://i1.mirror.co.uk/incoming/article7281926.ece/ALTERNATES/s615/Great-North-Road-Doncaster.jpg
I had been talking to this chick for about 6 months. I was 15 at the time.

http://pbs.twimg.com/media/B_lCaPkXAAAwlZV.jpg:small
We met up, I was nervous. Not like Leeds UTD vs Norwich Nervous. I had that anxoius edge. What was going to happen. Would it be love? Would I be setting my feet in the mistakes of many men that have come and gone. Would we get married? Would it fail? WOULD I BE A FAILURE? https://scontent.fman1-1.fna.fbcdn.net/v/t1.0-9/11010588_10153993609638242_7178834288398965916_n.j pg?oh=88d7ece6e582a8172c9eacd057dfe76d&oe=58C6B263

We went for a coffee, then she had her belly button pierced. I found that hot at the time. Don't really know why.




We went Ice skating ...
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WFdfSVw1ayE&ab_channel=%D0%92%D0%BB%D0%B0%D0%B4%D0%B8%D1%81%D0 %BB%D0%B0%D0%B2%D0%91%D0%B5%D0%BB%D0%BE%D1%83%D1%8 1%D0%BE%D0%B2

We had a few drinks in her local park. We got drunk (relatively speaking, we were 15). I looked a fucking mess.

https://scontent.fman1-1.fna.fbcdn.net/v/t1.0-9/13307498_10156895255255176_3394103094674041464_n.j pg?oh=980b531685b336148c80d8c2178378a3&oe=5894C933


We went back to her house.

http://media.rightmove.co.uk/51k/50816/30035161/50816_HCP01861_IMG_00_0000_max_620x414.JPG

Now this is the tale of how I lost my virginity. She lived with her Grandad. I never got the full story. He was deaf.

For some reason, I think she got kicks out of being loud, next to her Grandads room. He apparently took his hearing aid out after 9.30pm (when he went to bed). Even though I was obviously terrible, she was absolutely going for it. So loud. Just after he had gone to bed.

It was the most awkward experience of my life and I wanted to share it with you. What's your story. Pictures and videos not required.

[Pleb]

:D

[Lewis]

Magic is the most Scottish-faced person.

[Disco]

The double-denim Dutchie (was he Dutch?) gets more perturbed every time I see that picture.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

The double-denim Dutchie (was he Dutch?) gets more perturbed every time I see that picture.

I'm going with Belgian.

[7om]

Fucking hell. Shots fired.

[Magic]

:|

[Pleb]

The title in itself deserves this thread to be archived.

[mugbull]

You lost your v card to a 15 year old trannie? I'm so confused

[Giggles]

Fair fucks for all the links if you were drunk.

[igor_balis]

I once pulled a 18 stone Australian woman on a night out in London. My mate deliberately took us a convoluted way home (getting from Soho to seven sisters we somehow ended up going via canary wharf) to "save me from myself". Neither me nor my antipodean bbw gave up though, and I ended up spending twenty minutes in the living room trying and largely failing to maintain an erection due to my drunkenness fading and the horror of the situation becoming more clear to me. It was also a school night, and my friends housemate was woken up by our naked fumbling and was scarred for life when she came out to bollock us. She already hated my mate, and my behaviour that night was the final straw for her moving out.

[The Merse]

Drunkenly fell asleep with my face full on in an exes vagina. Apparently she thought I'd stopped in order to tease her somewhat and only realised after nearly a minute when I started snoring.

She wasn't happy.

I suggested the snoring might've been advantageous had she positioned herself correctly but apparently that's just weird and unsexy. Whatever.

[John Arne]

I was accidently went to a gay massage parlour. No sex was had.

[Spikey M]

I should not be allowed near computers when I'm drunk.

In a strong field that's one of the best drunk posts this place has ever seen. New or old board.

[Magic]

Imagine drunk creeping over my photos on Facebook and picking one from summer last year to post on here.

[Spammer]

I don't know what the fuck was happening but I enjoyed the ride you took us on.

[Adamski]

Imagine drunk creeping over my photos on Facebook and picking one from summer last year to post on here.

Seething

[Spikey M]

Properly triggered.

[Lewis]

Yeah. Fixed it.

[Magic]

I asked my dad on Viber earlier if he wanted to rape my daughter.

[Giggles]

I asked my dad on Viber earlier if he wanted to rape my daughter.

Did you at least give him a price?

[Magic]

That's not how rape works.

[Adamski]

Viber :D

[mugbull]

the fuck is wrong with you

[Spikey M]

And does he?

[Magic]

I corrected it to 'take' straight after. Weird that my swype prefers that though.