News of the day

[Lewis]

https://www.theguardian.com/technology/2022/mar/30/dyson-launches-zone-air-purifying-bluetooth-headphones-with-visor

Can I wear these with my Google glasses?

[Lewis]

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-hampshire-60940708

This somehow gets weirder and weirder beyond the already mental headline.

[Boydy]

The picture of the victim. :D

Wonder what the protest was for.

[Spikey M]

One of Magics mates RIP.

[Yevrah]

How in the actual fuck do you end up in a position where a 52 year old man, who looks like that, is your babysitter?

[Jimmy Floyd]

The picture of the victim. :D

Wonder what the protest was for.

Looks like a fathers for justice, which would also explain him remarrying someone who would have been 16 at the time the batman photo was taken.

[Manc]

Excited to see which direction Marvel take this.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Excited to see which direction Marvel take this.

He's clearly dressed as Batman which is DC, fool.

[Spikey M]

Yeah Manc, you non-virgin muppet.

[Shindig]

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-oxfordshire-60943402

Can we dump them on an unsuspecting family who think they're terrapins? Awww.

[Ben]

The BBC are promoting mental shit like skipping meals to cope with energy price rises. What the fuck.

[niko_cee]

Not sure they're really promoting that unless you also think they are promoting getting dressed up for a weekly trip to the soup kitchen.

[Ben]

Nobody should be skipping meals. They should have put a big fat disclaimer on it "this is stupid, don't do this" but they've ran it as if it's normal behaviour.

[Shindig]

I dunno, the woman in the article looks big enough to manage. She’s probably just skipping breakfast and snacking.

[Spikey M]

https://www.bbc.co.uk/sport/swimming/60934176

:cab:

Trust grumpy to find the downside.

[Yevrah]

It sounds like she wants a drug that makes more dwarfs.

[Shindig]

Turns out some people do want to be defined by their disability.

[Yevrah]

Having reflected, I think that might be one of the most insane viewpoints I've ever seen.

What's next? No reconstructive surgery for burn victims? No prosthetic limbs for amputees?

[Spikey M]

It's just more "my disability is my superpower" horseshit.

[Yevrah]

Child blindness in Africa. We need to stop treating that. It's fucking offensive that we do.

[Manc]

https://www.theguardian.com/society/2022/apr/05/uk-to-ban-gambling-ads-featuring-sports-and-reality-tv-stars

About time.

[Jimmy Floyd]

They seem to have designed it specifically not to cover Ray Winstone.

[niko_cee]

:D

[Lofty]

Headline working overtime here: https://www.irishmirror.ie/news/irish-news/irish-barista-ends-up-hospital-26636096

[niko_cee]

:D

Pretty sure appendicitis isn't really caused by holding in your farts.

[Spikey M]

A doctor thought I had Appendicitis a while back and asked if I had been "breaking wind" ok, so it must have something to do with it.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

I got appendicitis on an air-plane (I think the pressure change set it off as I had no symptoms until mid-air) and I was just vomiting non-stop.

[randomlegend]

:D

Pretty sure appendicitis isn't really caused by holding in your farts.

It's not.

[randomlegend]

A doctor thought I had Appendicitis a while back and asked if I had been "breaking wind" ok, so it must have something to do with it.

Nah they asked that because another cause of abdominal pain is intestinal obstruction.

[Ben]

True dat. My wife once pulled a sickie to look after me because I was in crippling pain. Half an hour later, on the verge of calling out an ambulance I let out the best fart I've ever done. Right as rain after that.

[Shindig]

This quote from Stonewall about Boris' comments on trans athletes:


In response to Johnson's comments, LGBTQ+ charity Stonewall said: "Trans people deserve the same opportunities as everyone else to enjoy the benefits of sport and blanket exclusions on trans people participating are fundamentally unfair.

Erm ... the opportunity to compete in a field made of the opposite biological gender is not an opportunity everyone is given. They can still compete in sport, just not in that specific circumstance.

[Lofty]

Yeah the trans athlete stuff is obviously dodgy. As with the Lia Thomas times her defenders put up actually undermining their arguments. 'See, after transitioning she is actually 2 seconds slower than she was!' Yeah but she was 10 seconds off the men's record and now she is 2 seconds off the women's record.

I don't doubt some of these are done purely to win, especially if they haven't had their dick off. The were enough nutters getting surgery to make themselves more disabled in the paralympics.

[niko_cee]

I think it's a bit of a shame this cyclist has been fully barred as it seemed it was an interesting opportunity to properly study relative performance advantage, as was my understanding of what had been planned to happen.

[Ben]

Can't believe I agree with Boris. :facepalm:

[Giggles]

It just proves that a broken clock is sometimes right.

[Shindig]

If they really want fairness, mixed gender participation would have to be across the board. And then neither women or trans athletes win.

Also, what's the deal with the African women having mad testosterone levels? Namibia especially.

[Queenslander]

Also, what's the deal with the African women having mad testosterone levels? Namibia especially.

Are they Afrikaner?

[Spikey M]

If they really want fairness, mixed gender participation would have to be across the board. And then neither women or trans athletes win.

Also, what's the deal with the African women having mad testosterone levels? Namibia especially.

Fairness is impossible. Usain Bolt is a genetic freak that nobody stood a chance against. That isn't fair, ban him. People are all different and there is no way to make sport fair.

However, I think changing gender to ensure you are up against people you can beat is a whole new level of unfairness. I don't think it should be allowed, but you could argue that they are essentially doing what glass jawed / weak punching Boxers do when they drop a weight division.

[Yevrah]

The crux of this really boils down to whether people actually believe trans women are women, if they do then they should be allowed to compete.

[Pepe]

"Sport categories are based on sex, not gender."

That is all that is needed to end this shit.

[Ben]

The point is, in many physical sports, a trans woman would have a good chance at obliterating women born as women, whereas a trans man would have no chance against men born as men. Regardless of gender, there's a massive biological difference that you only otherwise see with PEDs, which aren't allowed.

[Pepe]

Reminder: https://boysvswomen.com/#/

:happycry:

[Spikey M]

I think it's only really far-left loons that can't see the obvious unfairness. I've seen Trans people speak out against it themselves. Sadly, the governing bodies are just too scared to risk being seen as bigoted, so here we are. At somepoint a freshly stiletto'd Tyson Fury will send Nicola Adams to the Crematorium and the madness will end.

[Lewis]

They BOTTLED it over Caster Semenya. They're either a physical freak and should race, or not entirely female and shouldn't. Make them declare it. Instead, they came up with these stupid testosterone rules, and now you've got a load of thick-wristed eunuchs ruining it.

[Baz]

Reminder: https://boysvswomen.com/#/

:happycry:

The top women's time set a new women's Olympic record;

None of the women's finals performances met the qualifying time to enter the boys' competition.

:D

[Lofty]

It is a masterstroke from Boris and co though because the opposition will spend a lot of time shitting the bed over this, and he will happily say it again in an election cycle which could easily swing floating voters when the others are umming and ahhhing over it.

[Spikey M]

It is a masterstroke from Boris and co though because the opposition will spend a lot of time shitting the bed over this, and he will happily say it again in an election cycle which could easily swing floating voters when the others are umming and ahhhing over it.

They'll just point at the Tories bottling their pledge to ban gay conversion therapy.

[Lewis]

Compromise: conversion therapy remains legal, but only if you want to de-gay yourself by cutting your cock/tits off and dressing up.

[-james-]

Funny how much people buy into and engage with this stuff. Strikes the perfect nerve that makes people feel they need to have a certain opinion.

[Giggles]

It’s not funny at all. People have an opinion on nearly everything.

[Lofty]

Trans in general, fill your boots. But I do think aside from the sports dodginess that there will be a big scandal looking back on all this in a few years. Not sure why there are so many age restrictions on stuff to protect kids but lopping your tits/cock off while still in school is alright.

[Kikó]

Does that actually happen?

[Shindig]

Puberty blockers certainly do.

[Pepe]

Setting children against their parents is the most sinister part of this whole mess.

[Yevrah]

The stuff involving kids in this absolutely blows my mind. In every other walk of life we try to protect them with limits on what they can do until they reach a certain age, yet here we are giving puberty blockers to 16 year olds (and far worse in the US).

If it were some far flung place doing this under the guise of religion or culture we'd be moralising all over it from our lofty western ivory tower, and rightly so. There's little doubt in my mind that this is the thing that's happening now that we'll look back on in years to come (ala smoking) with a hearty WITAF.

[igor_balis]

The terf half

[randomlegend]

I see a lot of kids at work with "gender dysphoria" who to my untrained eyes appear to be more using it as an(other) outlet for other distress/mental illness. The furthest down the road they tend to go is changing their name and dressing differently. Once they turn 16 they move over to adult services though so what happens with them longer term is lost to me.

I'm inclined to believe that the few who are committed enough to go all in on it really do "know", but I've never had any direct experience with such kids.

[Spikey M]

I struggle with this stuff because I don't understand what being Trans actually is. I mean, I know it's the feeling of belonging to another gender in the broadest possible sense, but I don't know what that feels like. Is it a massive misery being a boy / girl when you feel like you shouldn't be? How strong is the feeling? Is it actually there from their early years? Do people "grow out of it" Etc.

If being Trans is like being Gay, and you just are, from birth and there's no changing it, then in theory I have no issue with getting the treatment started ASAP. The problem is that this really doesn't seem to be the case. It's basically just cool to have a childhood mental health issue these days. I wonder how many of the kids / teenagers being pumped full of hormones right now will regret it in 10 or 20 years.

It's quite the social experiment.

[Alex]

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-wales-61008812


Covid in schools: Fears GCSE and A-levels may be unfair amid sickness

I'll tell you what isn't fair on the rest of them? This lad in the middle:

https://ichef.bbci.co.uk/news/976/cpsprodpb/AA60/production/_124061634_197d613d-57c8-4e92-8fe4-2b24e51cd84b.jpg

Clearly not a day under thirty and competing with the children.

[mo]

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-wales-61008812



I'll tell you what isn't fair on the rest of them? This lad in the middle:

https://ichef.bbci.co.uk/news/976/cpsprodpb/AA60/production/_124061634_197d613d-57c8-4e92-8fe4-2b24e51cd84b.jpg

Clearly not a day under thirty and competing with the children.

Two lads I teach in Y11 have bigger beards than me. Thick as mince. Wonder if there’s any correlation in that. Thicker beard = thicker person?

[Jimmy Floyd]

Certainly thick as mince parents not telling them to have a shave.

I'm pretty sure there was a blanket ban on facial hair at my school, but I guess everyone is soft as fuck nowadays so it's probably allowed.

[Shindig]

Two lads I teach in Y11 have bigger beards than me. Thick as mince. Wonder if there’s any correlation in that. Thicker beard = thicker person?

He looks like that Cornish incel that went on a shotgun rampage a couple of years back.

[niko_cee]

I thought he looked like Harvey Elliot.

[Don]

Certainly thick as mince parents not telling them to have a shave.

I'm pretty sure there was a blanket ban on facial hair at my school, but I guess everyone is soft as fuck nowadays so it's probably allowed.

Lol.

[Ben]

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/business-61091688

Well blow me down with a feather.

[Jimmy Floyd]

'External challenges', lol. Food retail is basically a cartel in the UK.

[Lewis]

It sounds like a return to 'normal' profitability (which is something like three per cent) after eating all of the pandemic costs. They do a bang-up job and should be left completely alone.

[Ian]

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-london-61082238


The defendant, with a shaven head, beard and a moustache parted and turned up at both ends

Sounds like prison is really evening him out.

[Lewis]

Giggles how many days until this (https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-europe-61106318) is never mentioned again?

[Spikey M]

I'm surprised they didn't hide the picture at the bottom and just refer to him as "the man from Sligo".

[Giggles]

Giggles how many days until this (https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-europe-61106318) is never mentioned again?

I tell you one thing for sure; 2 gays <<<<<< a woman, judging by the amount of vigils and walks organised so far.

But yeah, it’ll be conveniently brushed like the last one now that the perpetrator isn’t a local.

[Lewis]

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/business-61102759

lmao

[Baz]

Just found out about this (https://inews.co.uk/news/consumer/kinder-recall-list-which-egg-products-recalled-ferrero-salmonella-outbreak-explained-1572836) and had to chuck loads away. :(

[Spikey M]

Just found out about this (https://inews.co.uk/news/consumer/kinder-recall-list-which-egg-products-recalled-ferrero-salmonella-outbreak-explained-1572836) and had to chuck loads away. :(

We've had to bin a couple too. Gutting. They're the ones I'd steal while they're in bed too. :(

[Yevrah]

What in the fuck?

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-wales-61128854

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

"I caught a guy going to the toilet on the railway line," Ms Davies said.

"He quickly pulled up his pants and tried to make a quick getaway.

"But I had already seen it, my group had already seen it. And we had to walk past it as well."

:D

[Giggles]

Is it some sort of social media challenge or what?

[Yevrah]

How do we have grown adults who've not learnt to regulate their body clock sufficiently to not need to shit on railway tracks?

[-james-]

How do we have grown adults who've not learnt to regulate their body clock sufficiently to not need to shit on railway tracks?

I'm not advocating shitting on railway lines, but there are plenty of people with completely unpredictable bowel habits. When my IBS flares up I have no idea how much or when I'll need to go for a shit.

[Giggles]

I'm not advocating shitting on railway lines, but there are plenty of people with completely unpredictable bowel habits. When my IBS flares up I have no idea how much or when I'll need to go for a shit.

Then you don’t go hiking. Or you bring a bucket and a few bags.

[Lewis]

Stay off the tourist trails then you internal weed.

[-james-]

Agreed. My point is that people needing a shit isn't the problem. Head well off the trail, dig a hole and bury it and it's fine.

[Lewis]

I would rather be bald than have bowel problems. Crohn's disease must be the worst semi-serious condition you can have.

[-james-]

It is pretty rubbish. The toilet stuff itself is fine, it's the accompanying fatigue that's the worst part for me. I've mostly got it sussed now so it's fine unless I break the rules.

[phonics]

I would rather be bald than have bowel problems. Crohn's disease must be the worst semi-serious condition you can have.

They give you free weed for Crohns though.

[Lewis]

I had proper food poisoning the other week - the drink a glass of water and explosively shit it out twenty minutes later kind - and it was probably the worst couple of days of my life. Unlucky bowel boys.

[-james-]

I've never really had that. It's mostly sitting around waiting for constipation to clear. It would be fucking awful if I had to work in an office, I reckon.

[randomlegend]

I would rather be bald than have bowel problems. Crohn's disease must be the worst semi-serious condition you can have.

Crohn's is definitely in serious territory for my money.

If I had IBD and got to the point of needing major surgery I'd just fucking kill myself. Seeing these 30-somethings sitting in surgical wards for months on TPN looks like the most depressing life imaginable

[Baz]

One of Ronaldo’s twins died

[Lewis]

The universe extracting its price for that free-kick going in.

[Spikey M]

https://www.manchestereveningnews.co.uk/news/greater-manchester-news/offensive-adverts-by-burger-van-23728773

U wot m8

[Jimmy Floyd]

I read that as 'depicting Madeleine McCann raped by watchdog'. Provided an interesting image at 10am on a crisp April morning.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-asia-61117434

Officially, the country has used the international counting system, using a person's birth date, in most legal definitions and administrative processes since 1962.

The country also has another official way to count age, in which babies are born at the age of 0, and gain a year every January 1. Under this, a baby born in December 2020 would be two years old by January 2022, even if they wouldn't officially turn two until December of that year.

This method is mainly used to define legal age for areas of law that affect a significant percentage of the population, including military service conscription or defining the age that juveniles that need to be protected against abuse.

And then there's the "Korean age" method, which is used more typically by everyone in society, where everyone is automatically a year old at birth, and become a year older on New Year's Day regardless of their birth date.

Under these methods, mega K-pop band BTS's Kim Tae-hyung aka V, born on 30 December 1995, is 28 years old (Korean age), 26 years old (the international age) or 27 years old (another Korean official age).

What the actual fuck?

[John Arne]

Similar thing here, but without the weird new years thing. Everyone here tells you they are a year older than they actually are. Probably explains when asking someone their age, they usually reply with the year of birth...

"How old are you"
"1985"
:confused: [JA struggles to calculate their age]


I mean, it would make a tiny bit of sense if the human gestation period was a year, at least.

[Jimmy Floyd]

I had Mahow's post explained to me once by my old buddies and I don't think anything's ever blown my mind more.

You also never use the name of anyone older than you, only an honorific. So the person who explained it to me had never called their older siblings by name in their lives.

[Yevrah]

That has got to be one of the dumbest things I've ever seen.

[John Arne]

There's a weird auntie/uncle thing here.

They are given numbers based on their age order (but never one).
So the oldest aunt/uncle is 'uncle 2', then 'auntie 3', 'auntie 4'... Until the final one who is called 'youngest uncle'.
I genuinely have no idea what my auntie-in-laws real names are.

[Pepe]

Is this why they are so good at maths?

[-james-]

A lot of Greeks do it as well. The logic being that if you were born in 2000, on your birthday this year you would be entering your 23rd year.

[Spikey M]

More fucked up than the metal Benalux way of telling the time.

[Yevrah]

A lot of Greeks do it as well. The logic being that if you were born in 2000, on your birthday this year you would be entering your 23rd year.

Another fundamental misunderstanding of how numbers and counting works.

[Disco]

Is that not just rounding up rather than down? If you give your age in full years then it's no more or less accurate either way.

[Yevrah]

True, but given we all die it strikes me as a bit daft to round up.

[Bernanke]

In school, so between like 7-18 or so, we always referred to our age as what birth-year we had. If all kids born -91 are in one year, I definitely considered myself (November) as closer in age to someone born January -91 than January -92.

The Korean way of making it official is mental though. :henn0rz:

[Yevrah]

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-us-canada-61192975

Amazing.

[niko_cee]

I find the mother in that video at the bottom saying it was a 'perfect shot' extremely troubling.

Reminiscent of Goodfellas. What can I say, I'm a good shot and all that.

[Pepe]

Why the negative spin?


In past years, gun-related deaths were second only to car crashes as the leading cause of death among young Americans. Car deaths, however, have fallen over time and in 2020 approximately 3,900 Americans under 19 died in vehicle crashes.

Americans should be celenrating.

[Pepe]

"The reasons for the increase are unclear," the research letter said. "It cannot be assumed that firearm-related mortality will later revert to pre-pandemic levels".

Might have to do with the choice of not policing anymore.

[Lewis]

The article switches from 'US children' to 'children and teenagers', which means half of them will have been black seventeen year olds killing each other, and then a load of black toddlers killed when stray bullets come through the wall. But then schools were mostly closed during the period in question, so white lads were at a bit of a disadvantage. Let's wait for more recent figures.

[Pepe]

The article switches from 'US children' to 'children and teenagers', which means half of them will have been black seventeen year olds killing each other

Well, yes. Also, there was nowhere to go, so less driving overall. Doesn't make the country any less of a shithole.

[Lewis]

Joe Biden's America man.

[Pepe]

All Putin's fault.

[John Arne]

Some bloke set himself on fire outside the Supreme Court yesterday, and obviously died.

There seems to be a strange lack of news coverage.

[Disco]

Hoping for an album cover like the last guy.

[Lewis]

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-61215051

This seems like a bit of a wacky one. I figured a weird drug/gang thing, but once the details emerged it sounds like mentalist.

[Alex]

1518923862586675202

I can't say that this comes as a massive shock. Or anything of a shock whatsoever, to be honest.

[SvN]

I'm more shocked by the fact that he's 64!

[-james-]

It's always the ones you most expect.

[Lewis]

Is there anything he won't culturally appropriate?

[Don]

Those allegations have been flying around for decades thanks to those hoes who were rubbin their tiddies all over him for VIP entry and gifts but who have now fallen on hard times as single mothers.

[Spikey M]

If there's a modern day Jimmy Savile equivalent, it's him.

[Baz]

Charlie Sloth laughing right now.

[Alex]

Charlie Sloth laughing right now.

[Street Fighter sample]"PERFECT!"[/]

[Offshore Toon]

At Wireless (around 2011) he was constantly shouting "I'm gonna fuck you and your friends!" at girls definitely under 18. It's no surprise he's the black Jimmy Saville.

[Spikey M]

Mic Righteous offering the truth as an NFT :D

1518979254142357504?t=xwLgyGc2Q0kjITsLJbUVUg&s=19

[igor_balis]

I'm more shocked by the fact that he's 64!

Yeah he looks amazing for his age. Maybe he really is black. I'll ask those mad nation of Islam blokes from that louis theroux episode. I still cannot stop listening to this shit

https://youtu.be/ojbZ5okHif4

[Shindig]

Reverse Chris Eubank.

[Yevrah]

Seems nothing is safe from the OUTRAGE these days.

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/newsbeat-61242917

Woman featuring prominently in advert? Tick
Positive view of Women endorsed? Tick
Ethnic minority quota on point? Tick

"Fellow Samsung board members, this one is a WINNER"

"Oh".

[Jimmy Floyd]

I was up at 4am recently to drive somewhere and there were shit tons of lone women runners out in the streets of London, so many that I specifically noticed it and assumed they must feel it was the safest time.

[Yevrah]

Yep, this narrative that Women are not safe ANYWHERE at ANY TIME on the streets after dark needs to stop. I don't know why it's being peddled, particularly using Sarah Everard to do so, which must be one of the most fucked up and unique situations leading to a single murder in modern times.

[Spikey M]

This constant banging of the "women MUST fear men" drum is jarring as fuck. As is the "we know it's not ALL men, but how do we know which ones it is!?" justification they use. Err, that's the same justification racists use, love. When did we decide that not judging entire groups of people as one didn't apply to men?

It's currently acceptable to assume a man might be a rapist because he is a man, but it isn't acceptable to assume a man might be a rapist because they are black? Cool.

[randomlegend]

This constant banging of the "women MUST fear men" drum is jarring as fuck. As is the "we know it's not ALL men, but how do we know which ones it is!?" justification they use. Err, that's the same justification racists use, love. When did we decide that not judging entire groups of people as one didn't apply to men?

It's currently acceptable to assume a man might be a rapist because he is a man, but it isn't acceptable to assume a man might be a rapist because they are black? Cool.

That's pretty racist bro.

[Spikey M]

If you deliberately take my meaning to be the opposite of what I'm saying, sure.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Confirmed racist Spikey.

[Yevrah]

Get the point, but a better analogy for me would be with Muslims and terrorists, which the same people who peddle the Men stuff wouldn't go anywhere near.

I guess it happens because we're the ones who have the best of it in society and as such we're fair game. A bit like calling Americans stupid, which I also find abhorrent.

[Pepe]

Has any advert ever portrayed people doing 'realistic' things? No? Didn't think so.

[Manc]

Exhausting.

[Spikey M]

Has any advert ever portrayed people doing 'realistic' things? No? Didn't think so.

Wrong.


https://youtu.be/L7PFOs3d5Gw

[Disco]

Wrong.


https://youtu.be/L7PFOs3d5Gw

Perfectly normal bunch of rapists having a kick-about.

[Spikey M]

Get the point, but a better analogy for me would be with Muslims and terrorists, which the same people who peddle the Men stuff wouldn't go anywhere near.

I guess it happens because we're the ones who have the best of it in society and as such we're fair game. A bit like calling Americans stupid, which I also find abhorrent.

Sure. I was just enjoying the idea that a woman could say they're worried about a black man raping them, BUT only if they make it clear that their concern is strictly on gender grounds. Because even discrimination has to be PC.

[Yevrah]

I think as soon as they say black they'd be on dodgy ground there. Better to just leave it to man. We know they mean all (white) Men then.

[randomlegend]

Get the point, but a better analogy for me would be with Muslims and terrorists, which the same people who peddle the Men stuff wouldn't go anywhere near.

I guess it happens because we're the ones who have the best of it in society and as such we're fair game. A bit like calling Americans stupid, which I also find abhorrent.

Reminds me of a time at high school when one of the terror attacks had just happened (underground/bus bombings maybe?) and discussions about it were going on in a lesson. Some girl couldn't work out why she got turned on for coming out with "Yeah but virtually all the Muslims are terrorists". Took genuinely a good ten minute argument for someone to clock and point out to her that she'd meant to say "Virtually all the terrorists are Muslim"

[Disco]

Both of those statements are equally stupid.

[Spikey M]

Reminds me of a time at high school when one of the terror attacks had just happened (underground/bus bombings maybe?) and discussions about it were going on in a lesson. Some girl couldn't work out why she got turned on for coming out with "Yeah but virtually all the Muslims are terrorists". Took genuinely a good ten minute argument for some to clock and point out to her that she'd meant to say "Virtually all the terrorists are Muslim"

:D

Although I'm not sure "Virtually all the terrorists are Muslim" is much better. Or accurate. It would be helpful if all the "mass shootings" were referred to as Terrorism. There's literally no reason for them not to be.

[randomlegend]

Both of those statements are equally stupid.

They're both stupid, they're definitely not equally stupid.

[Disco]

They're both stupid, they're definitely not equally stupid.

Splitting the thinnest of hairs.

[Shindig]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q_kzUU6-LfQ

Okay, I retract the Eubank comparison. He's switched right off there. The big posh rapist.

[Shindig]

American tourists. Full of great ideas. (https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-middle-east-61267265)

[Pepe]

The official ordered her immediate vicinity to be cleared, but another passenger who misheard her started shouting "terrorists shooting", triggering mass panic, the site said.

:lol:

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-61276378

Former Wimbledon champion Boris Becker has been jailed for two and a half years for hiding £2.5m worth of assets and loans to avoid paying debts.

The 54-year-old six-time Grand Slam champion was found guilty of four charges under the Insolvency Act.

The case centred on Becker's bankruptcy in June 2017 resulting from an unpaid loan of more than £3m on his luxury estate in Mallorca, Spain.

[Spikey M]

They actually put him in prison? No bullshit house arrest or suspended sentence? Lolol.

How does someone like him manage to bankrupt themselves anyway? Peak retardation all round.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

To make things worse for him, this is how the courtroom artist drew him:

https://pbs.twimg.com/media/FRhh0doXsAIRp_b?format=jpg

[Ian]

Not sure I've ever seen one of those courtroom drawings where you'd recognise the person who's supposed to be in them.

[Spikey M]

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-61266526

I thought Diplomatic Immunity (the con that it is) didn't allow for this type of thing?

[niko_cee]

I have no idea about diplomatic immunity, but I'm sure I read somewhere [probably during that wrong side of the road business] that you only have it whilst acting in the course of the duties which grant you the immunity, which probably don't extend to trying to run an international drug smuggling operation.

[Pepe]

Minister of Truth now a thing in the US. :drool:

Or maybe not:

https://www.politico.com/news/2022/05/01/mayorkas-defends-dhs-disinformation-board-00029182

[Yevrah]

My Youtube homepage has been full of the Depp vs Heard court videos for weeks now, I finally caved tonight and her testimony must be one of the least believable in all of human history.

I hope she has $50m handy, or Elon Musk's phone number still.

[Shindig]

She cannot cry on camera. I figured that's one of the first things actors learn.

[Yevrah]

From the six minute clip I saw everything about it looked like a horrible Oscar acceptance speech, like that one Winslet gave when she beat Streep.

[Spikey M]

I haven't seen much of it, but what I have seen has made her look fucking deranged.

1521953931672367111?t=w1_KhnA-qk8G1fN2SH2FOw&s=19

[Lewis]

It all sounds like they were both as bad as each other, which she could have just left it at and 1) nobody would have been surprised that Johnny Depp was a creepy weirdo; and 2) she would still have come away with more sympathy than him; but no, and now look at her.

[niko_cee]

Isn't it basically impossible to win this sort of lawsuit in the US?

But yeah, they're both full on wrong'uns.

[Spikey M]

In fairness, when Will Smith is slapping people about it's safe to say Hollywood Heads have gone all round. I'm just waiting for Tom Hanks to be outed as a Flat Earther or something, then we can start taking the letters off the hillside.

[randomlegend]

It all sounds like they were both as bad as each other

It doesn't.

[Yevrah]

It doesn't.

Agreed. I thought so initially too, but three and a half hours of just letting this play on Youtube and she's clearly an absolute psycho, while Depp's a drughead who may have hit/pushed her in self defence.

[Kikó]

You watched it for three and a half hours?

[randomlegend]

The psychologist who said she has borderline and histrionic PD was clearly spot on. Aside from an actual serial killer, someone with borderline PD is about the worst kind of human being you can get involved with. They will destroy your life with a deftness you can't even imagine.

[Yevrah]

You watched it for three and a half hours?

Not solely, I was tidying the house, cooking, doing some other random shit and I just let it play.

[Lewis]

I'll admit, I'm mostly basing my opinion on the stuff around the previous trial. All I've seen from this one is him yucking it up with assorted wallies and her acting badly.

[randomlegend]

I watched a load of videos of it the other day as well and it's pretty captivating.

Her lawyers are absolute retards, the psychologist was awesome and Depp saying "a mega pint" was excellent.

[-james-]

Why are people so invested in Johnny Depp's messy divorce?

[randomlegend]

Is that aimed at people here (presumably me and Yev), or in general?

If the former, I'm not remotely invested, some of the footage has just been quite entertaining.

If the latter, for the same reason they are invested with literally everything else to do with celebrities.

[Giggles]

Why are people so invested in Johnny Depp's messy divorce?

Why are people interested in anything?

[-james-]

In general there seems to be a lot more interest in this story than most celebrity stuff. I dunno. I just can't imagine a less interesting news story to follow. It's just grim and not even that juicy.

[-james-]

The Amber Turd thing is great actually.

[randomlegend]

I think people like seeing a cunt get found out

[Ben]

In general there seems to be a lot more interest in this story than most celebrity stuff. I dunno. I just can't imagine a less interesting news story to follow. It's just grim and not even that juicy.

I'm with you here. Global 24/7 coverage of what is essentially a divorce is just strange.

[Jimmy Floyd]

The slightly dubious IT guy at work claimed it was 'a watershed moment for men's rights', so naturally I blocked both their names on twitter.

[Shindig]

Johnny Depp's a beta anyway. Marries a lass 20 years younger than him, gets battered by her, she takes half his drugs and shits in his bed. All whilst he gets mad over a tattoo he still has of his ex.

[Ian]

The slightly dubious IT guy at work claimed it was 'a watershed moment for men's rights', so naturally I blocked both their names on twitter.

He sounds like a fucking idiot.

Absolutely guaranteed to be a "AND WHEN IS INTERNATIONAL MENS DAY???" type on the women's equivalent.

[Boydy]

I am blissfully unaware of almost everything regarding that case except for that she shat on his bed which I'm delighted I do know because it's very funny.

[Lofty]

I'm with you here. Global 24/7 coverage of what is essentially a divorce is just strange.

Because it involves a formerly bankable A list megastar who's career was ruined by his wife's allegations. I wasn't bothered until I saw a clip on youtube my wife was watching where the incompetence of Heard's lawyers was remarkable, Depp playing to the crowd. Even if he doesn't win the case he has won the court of public approval.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

She might be crazy but PHWOAR.

[Spikey M]

Enjoy her while you can, because she's never working again after this. No idea why she thought this was a good idea (well, manic Narcissism aside). Depp has shown himself to be a bit of a mess, but his trolling has been top tier. He looks like he's having a great time.

[Baz]

I am blissfully unaware of almost everything regarding that case except for that she shat on his bed which I'm delighted I do know because it's very funny.Same, except for “mega pint.”

[Baz]

Just read some bits. Amber Heard sounds like a right lad. :cool:

[John Arne]

The posing for a picture for a few seconds whilst crying was amazing.

#TeamDepp

[Gray Fox]

Enjoy her while you can, because she's never working again after this. No idea why she thought this was a good idea (well, manic Narcissism aside). Depp has shown himself to be a bit of a mess, but his trolling has been top tier. He looks like he's having a great time.

This is the point of it for him I feel.

He knows he's going down with the ship, but he wanted to show the world that she should be going with him. Which I think has been done now. The general publics interest in it seems to also be centred around why his career has basically had to end but she is allowed to continue freely.

[Ian]

I don't think it's as deep as that. People just love a freak show.

[Shindig]

I'm already switching back to the Wagatha Christie trial. Colleen's nailed it.

[Lofty]

1524042864484880384?t=xDqoKkjRjtHdqtCm0XqzEw&s=19

[Lewis]

It sounds like one of those where, whilst everybody knows she was clearly organising all of the leaking stuff, she might just manage to get away with it by throwing her agent (what?) under the bus instead.

[Lofty]

1524035813037727745?t=wFGTvAEc5DlAlo8Z5311bw&s=19

[niko_cee]

It sounds like one of those where, whilst everybody knows she was clearly organising all of the leaking stuff, she might just manage to get away with it by throwing her agent (what?) under the bus instead.

Isn't what Rooney has said fundamentally and demonstrably true anyway - in that these made up stories were only shared with one account which was in Vardy's name [and controlled by her and her minions]? So it's hard to see how even the fairly draconian British libel laws are going to be coming to her rescue here, even if she's managed to sink all the direct evidence in the North Sea [lol]. Circumstantial evidence and the balance of probabilities ftw. I don't know if any of the Vardy mob have given evidence yet but they are clearly going to be found to be unreliable at best.

[niko_cee]

Also, poor Peter Andre being dragged through the mire.

[John Arne]

:d

1524322925133938688

[Spikey M]

So people with Autistic Children can goto the football with their families. Haha?

[Lofty]

They already have one at the Emirates.

[John Arne]

So people with Autistic Children can goto the football with their families. Haha?

Ah, I've clearly misunderstood what neuro-divergent meant. My bad.

[randomlegend]

So people with Autistic Children can goto the football with their families. Haha?

I like how you capitalised Autistic Children, as though they are a band or something.

[Ian]

That'd be the name of the TTH band.

[Spikey M]

Give it 10 years.

Edit: Out of the way Ian and Page 235.

[Ian]

:loser:

[niko_cee]

https://news.sky.com/story/south-carolina-man-dies-from-heart-attack-while-burying-strangled-girlfriends-body-in-yard-12610724

lol

[Spikey M]

:D

[John Arne]

Love this.

1524334647718682624

[Spikey M]

Shrek and Fiona.

[SvN]

The fuck? What kind of likeness is that?

https://pbs.twimg.com/tweet_video_thumb/EtzzeoPWgAcYCQZ.jpg

[Pepe]

If only some sort of device that could capture life-like still images at the press of a button existed.

[randomlegend]

Presumably there's rules about taking photos in court which is why the artists exist? IDK.

[Lofty]

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-tyne-61412523

[Spikey M]

Fuck sake. :D

How is "they upset little Billy" a police matter?

[Yevrah]

Some of those pictures. :D

[SvN]

I love how he says he didn't know it was going to happen beforehand. Oh, so there just happened to be a garden strimmer under the ring? :D

[niko_cee]

Is 'Ronnie Thatcher' Matt Lucas' mentally ill alter ego?

[Baz]

Garden strimmer. :D Never seen that in GCW.

[randomlegend]

Some of the death match wrestling is absolutely insane. Come across it on Reddit every now and again. CZW I think is the biggest promoter of it.

A weed whacker is the American name for a strimmer right? There's definitely a video of someone having a "weed whacker" taken to their abdomen from CZW that does the rounds.

[Ben]

CZW aye.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FWjawAYo5ig

[randomlegend]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NRvJ2uRbEgY

There's the one I was thinking of.

[Ben]

Weed whacker is the most American term ever.

[Spikey M]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NRvJ2uRbEgY

There's the one I was thinking of.

:|

[Disco]

I don't get the brutal death match type stuff, it lacks the art and psychology of 'normal' wrestling or it's buried under so many light tubes that it doesn't matter. Not my sort of meat circus.

[randomlegend]

I just like mad people.

[Shindig]

Knackers, the lot of 'em.

[niko_cee]

The courtroom drawing person is clearly just taking the piss with the Rooney drawings. At first it was like they'd not bothered to add Wayne in and when pressed to do so had just C&P'd Wayne [Couzens] in from an archive drawing. Now this:

1524794866466803715

:cab:

[Disco]

That's just Brock Lesnar.

[Spikey M]

He wants some cream for that eczema.

[Don]

https://www.theguardian.com/world/2022/may/13/israeli-forces-storm-jerusalem-hospital-as-coffin-of-slain-journalist-emerges

Their time will come.

[Ben]

I hope so, that’s low as fuck.

[Lewis]

The most logical outcome for Israel is proper ethnic cleansing of the Palestinian territories or annexation and fully-blown apartheid. Send them some more rockets while you can Taz.

[Ben]

That’s certainly an opinion.

[Disco]

Because ethnic cleansing always works.

[Giggles]

Yet it doesn’t mean it wouldn’t.

[Spikey M]

When you're mates with America you can get away with all sorts. Especially to Muslims.

[Shindig]

Honestly, Tel Aviv's not worth dying for. I stand by my idea to just turn the country into a Disney park.

[Lewis]

I should have said annexation and then either apartheid or ethnic cleansing. There are hundreds of thousands of Israeli settlers in East Jerusalem and the rest of the West Bank. They aren't going to give the land up, East Jerusalem especially, and they aren't going to stop being a Jewish state, so what options are there other than a) depriving non-Jews of their political rights (or giving Jews two votes or whatever); or b) kicking non-Jews out? The state is built on population transfers - kicking Palestinians out, taking in Jews kicked out by Middle Eastern countries - so what's another one? They could even call it the 'Final Solution' for the hand-wringers.

[Kikó]

Is that supposed to be a serious post?

[Lewis]

I'm not saying it's a Good Thing. But they won't be able to function with a sixty/forty demographic split (at best), so something will have to give, and it won't be demolishing Jewish settlements.

[Spikey M]

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-cornwall-61435596

:cool:

[Giggles]

RTE, on their main evening news, are currently reporting on this Colleen Rooney thing. I am never buying a TV licence again.

[niko_cee]

Wait, you have TV licences?

Tear to the eye stuff.

[Lewis]

Mostly the cheaper black and white ones.

[Giggles]

Do you not? I had one when I lived in the UK and iplayer asks me if I have one (and if I’m watching that it assumes I’m in the UK).

Are you sure you’re not meant to have one for yours and you just didn’t know?

[Disco]

You need one for iplayer or to have a normal tv.

[Giggles]

So, the same as here then seeing as the news is on normal tv.

Maybe NC’s point, if there was one, has gone over my head. Or is he the one who lives on the channel island? Maybe they don’t have them there or something.

[niko_cee]

I meant more that the tv licence has always struck me as a peculiarly British thing, so to hear of it in [the Republic of] Ireland seemed odd. I'm not sure if it being for the iplayer is better or worse on that front. Is the whole of 'the island of Ireland' treated the same for iplayer purposes?

We do have the tv licence, for the BBC, but then we are British.

[Disco]

I'd imagine there's more and more that don't, I haven't had one for years.

[Giggles]

Iplayer is UK only, I watch it with a VPN I got back when the snooker was on and I use it now for GAA games that are on BBC2 NI. A lot of stuff on RTE would be blocked in NI too and they can’t watch RTE Player.

Ours covers anything that you can possibly watch television on, so if you’ve a phone you need one.

[Kikó]

Germany have TV and radio licences as well.

[Ben]

Interesting thread.

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